Swiggity Swoogity... My name is Bobby McBooty...
Okay not really.
My name is Lee, quite an unusual name I'm sure but that's all you're getting out of me kid. Anyway, I'm a human, living in the small but vibrant town of Ponyville located in the not so friendly Equestria, its capital was Canterlot where the two regal sisters—both of which control the goddamn sun and moon somehow—reside and rule over the land...
So many fuckin' puns its killin me.
So yeah, I live in this small town near the outskirts, just on the border of the Everfree forest. From what I was ~~warned~~ told about it, it was the center for unusual magic and general bad stuff. Everfree was full of some pretty nasty shit. Creatures called Manticores and Cockatrice, and some other unsavory things that will make your skin crawl. Of course being the totally awesome and brave badass I was, I ran head first into the forest!
Only to come out missing my shirt and pants an hour later, covered in cuts and bruises and grinning like a goob. Twilight - the new Alicorn princess and my 'caretaker' as it were - was pissed beyond belief! I thought she was going to kick my ass. But, to my horror... she did the unspeakable...
Something that no one could stop...
Something that.. not even Princess Celestia could prepare me for...
That even Discord would cringe at...
She... lectured me... for seven hours...
I'm... surprised I managed to survive that ordeal. Of course, it was all thanks to my bro. Rainbow Dash, the element of Loyalty and one of my best friends around sticking by my side the entire time. She was actually the first one to find me those two years ago. You see, two years ago I was just stumbling out of a bar in New York's upper east side, drunk out of my mind after getting my ass handed to me from some douchebag who made fun of me for wearing a Rainbow Dash t-shirt, I promptly proceeded to kick his pasty pale pompous posterior all over the place. and got my share of ass kicking from him and his friends...
Too many P's? And rule number two of life kids, never take on six angry jocks that are shitfaced drunk!
Going off topic.
So I was stumbling out and well, I guess I was a little more drunk then I usually was and... well... my face had a date with a trash can. It didn't go over so well and they broke up. My beautiful handsome manly man face taking the full brunt of it. Next thing I knew I was waking up in this massive field of pure greenage, the wind blowing fresh cool air and the sun casting down its warm rays...
What the sweet fuck did I drink? was my first thought upon waking up to this... green-ness. I lived in New York for crying out loud, and never did I ever see anything this... clean before. I guess the parks could count, sometimes, maybe, not really. I couldn't help but let a grin out as I spread out my arms and enjoy the feeling of air cascading across my body... only to end up flying backwards about ten feet as something collided into my body. Felt like a fucking freight train hit me full speed!
That was how I met Rainbow Dash, not the best of meetings between two different species but I ain't complaining.
Its been two years since that day... two years since I learned I'd never be able to return home, and that I was stuck in this colorful world of pastel ponies and other mythical creatures where friendship and harmony is not in short supply. Though when I was first brought into Ponyville the majority of the residents were scared shitless of me, Rainbow was the only one not afraid of me. Hell she didn't look scared in the slightest. She was weirded out of me, wondering what the buck I was and if I was a spy or not.
Buck... Pony slang for Fuck... huehuehue.
I was almost chased out of Ponyville the next day because some douchebag pony was screaming about how I was a meat eater and was going to eat everyone. Might have been my bad, I did have a chicken nugget in my pocket at the time and ate it in front of him. I was hungry, manly men like me need their protein. Rainbow stood up for me... she didn't have any reason to stand up for me, or help me... and yet she was risking her life so that I wouldn't be strung up, or hanged or whatever punishment these ponies dole out.
Hopefully I won't find out.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
A Night With: Rainbow Dash
Written by: Dustchu.
MLP:FIM belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust.
I own only my OC's and certain elements.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
So here I am... two years later and a lovable member of Ponyville's society. Turns out having hands is very helpful, as evidenced by the many many mares I massage over at the Parlor who are putty in my hands~ I look down at my fingers and wiggle them. Da mares love mah finguuuuuuurs~ I chuckle to myself. I swear these ponies area riot, they love my hands, especially that one minty green one, Pyra? Lyra? Yeah, Lyra's her name. I think I made her orgasm once when I gave her a massage.
Was it awkward?
A little bit.
Were we ashamed?
Fuck no, we laughed it off.
Lyra's fucking awesome though. A little weird but still, she could qualify for a bro-membership. We're good friends to.
So yeah, I'm sitting outside Sugarcube Corner just enjoying the nice frosty day with a cupcake in hand... wait... cupcake? Looking down sure enough I saw a cupcake in my hand, colored bright red and blue with a variety of sprinkles on it. WTF did I get this?
"Hi Lee!" a very happy voice next to me squealed, oh Pinkie Pie...
I recoiled, as always. Damn you're so loud, Pinkie. I remarked in thought as I eyeballed the pink mare bouncing to my right. She was another pony I considered a friend, albeit she was loud and possessed the powers of a demon—I was convinced she had some weird powers though she never said anything to me about it—But I still liked hanging around her. Totally doesn't have anything to do with her god like cooking at all...
Nope...
Not at all... okay maybe I'm lying a little bit. I mean really, she makes the best damn food in the whole town. If there was an element for food, she'd be getting it.. han-hooves down.
"So Pinks, my favoritist little ball of hyperactive cupcake glory, how are you this fine Tuesday?"
Pinkie literally jumped when I said that, she loves the nickname I gave her. Though sometimes I call her Balloon Butt on occasion, earning a few giggles from her. I'd get my as kicked back on earth for saying that to a girl. But then again I am in a world filled with extremely colorful pastel talking ponies that come up to my stomach.
"I'm doing really really good, today is splindorifically tubular! I just left the store an hour ago to go meet Rainbow Dash in the park but then I remembered she left a week ago to go train with the wonderbolts and that made me sad but then I remembered you were here waiting for her to come back so I galloped back here to come talk to you but then I saw your face and how sad you looked and that made me sadder so I whipped you up a cupcake to make you happy again and seeing you smile makes me happy again!" she told me—somehow—in one breath.
Just one of the many mysteries surrounding Pinkie Pie, Ponyville's mare of many strange things.
"Well, uh... thanks I suppose." I was thankful to have her around as a friend, she could always tell when I was down even if I didn't look it on the outside. Almost two weeks ago Dashie left Ponyville to go train with the wonderbolts after finally getting accepted into their ranks. To be honest they weren't all that great, sure they did a few fancy tricks in the air but Rainbow Dash was better then them. Fuck she can do that Sonic Rainboom for crying out loud. None of those tightwads can do it, maybe Spitfire, she's of sequel hotness as Rainbow Dash... no pun intended, I think?
I took a bite of the cupcake Pinkie handed me, an expectant look on her face as I swirled it around my mouth and 'examining the taste of it'. Then I stuck out my tongue to show her it before swallowing it with an audible gulp.
"Eww!" The pink mare gagged, "I hate it when you do that!"
I couldn't help but laugh, almost choking on the leftover food in my mouth. "You know you love me!" I told her before leaning over and licking the side of her face, being sure to really drag it alongside her fur making a 'nyaaaaah' sound while I was at it. Pinkie squealed and blushed a bright red as she fell backwards, looking up at me as I failed to contain a few giggles. "Hehehehe."
She made a pouty face but I could see the mirth in her eyes. "That was nasty tricksies!" she told me in a sort of high pitched gravelly voice. But eventually she laughed too, wiping my drool off of the side of her face.
I chucked lightly as she stood up. "Seriously though, this cupcake is delicious~" I told her, taking a few more bites off of it to show her. "Tasty, sweet, and colorful." I then waggled my eyebrows at her. "Like you, mine shweet~"
Pinkie giggled again, her blush deepening. "Oh stop it." she muttered, looking off to the side before gasping, her mouth stretching to astronomical proportions.
I looked over at where she was looking and saw something that made me smile, in the skies above I saw a trail of rainbows heading right for Ponyville. Bringing up my cupcake I finished it off before getting up, grabbing my custom made pack from the ground beside me and dashing off down the road, "Go tell the others, Dashie's back!" I yelled back to my little pink friend, but she was already gone.
Hehehe, we both tend to be on the same wavelength sometimes. Good kid, good kid.
The streets of Ponyville weren't as active like most days, the reason I think that is because of how cold its been getting and everyone is getting ready for the coming winter. In the words of that guy from that show I watched a long time ago. Winter is coming. And don't I know it. Its been getting crazy cold here the past few months, and I've seen some cold days.
I'm hoping this winter or Hearth's Warming Eve, I and my brosef for life Dash can spend some time together. I've been planning to spend some more time with her but work and a very pesky Ursa Minor kept getting in the way, I mean really now. Freaking Snips and Snails though, they're good kids but sometimes they're a bit... fucking stupid sometimes. That's the third time they've brought that thing into town, won't be long till they bring a flipping Major here. I trust Twilight and the others to take on some major foes and stuff, but I've seen pictures of a Ursa Major... it ain't pretty.
Aside from the threat of impending doom at the hooves of two somewhat annoying foals whose talents allude me—Snips and Snails... what, Snips is good with scissors and Snails can... talk to Snails? IDK—I've planned an awesome night for the two of us.
I wonder what she went through with that training? She didn't say anything in her letters she sent. I wondered, running past Applejack's stall with a wave, Big Mac was operating it this time around. Ever since I met Rainbow she's always talked about joining the Wonderbolts ever since she was a wee filly, and every time I think of her as a filly I squee on the inside. But anyway, she's been real big on joining them, and as her best friend—one of them—I cheered her on and helped her along the way. And one day she just left, leaving behind a letter saying she was called over to the Wonderbolt training camps in Cloudsdale.
But now she's coming home, and I'll finally get to talk to her after so freaking long, GAWD I hate waiting.
Soon enough I saw the trail of rainbows land on the outskirts, not too far away from the field where she found me. I wonder why she didn't come to town? Pushing my legs I started going faster until I was sprinting, and before you knew it I was outside of Ponyville blazing a trail down the dirt laden path to the massive open field. The smell of fresh grass and trees bombarded my senses as a cool breeze cascaded across the area, I was practically gliding as I ran. Daily races with Dash helped me improve both my stamina and speed. Of course running from Rarity when Dash, Pinkie and I prank her helps too, hehe.
Is that her? eventually I ran off of the road and onto the field once it came into view. In the distance I could make out the hunched over form that was my best friend, and immediately in the pit of my stomach I felt something was wrong. Speeding up my pace I could see the disheveled rainbow mane and dirt covered fur. Of course it was always windswept most of the time because doing up your hair then taking flight is sure to ruin it, Rainbow never bothered but this was different even for her, that and she tried to stay clean most of the time.
"Hey, Dash?" I called out to her, slowing my pace once I got close enough. She turned half way, looking at me with a sidelong glance. "Dash, you alright?"
She sniffed lightly, rubbing at her eyes before answering. "I'm fine, Stretch." she assured me, using a nickname she calls on occasion. Cause I'm tall, duh. "Don't sweat it."
I could feel one of my eyebrows rise up. "Oh?" I walked closer and sat down beside her, Dash moving her head to look out across the small lake that we sometimes sit in front of. "Then why do you look like shit?" I inquired with a playful shove.
That earned me a dry chuckle. "You look like shit yourself bub." she shoved back, but it was pretty weak.
"Well then we're both shit then, so tell me what's wrong before I decide to lick your face cause its looking mighty tasty." I warned her with a smirk. Another sniffle was my answer, so I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, Dash talk to me will ya?" Finally she turned to me, and I could see her eyes and how red they looked. Bloodshot with dried tears below them. "Oh Jesus."
Dash rubbed a hoof across her eyes, chuckling lightly. "I look worse then I feel, Stretch." she assured me, but the pain in her voice was legit.
Smiling softly I rubbed my hand up and down her back, brushing off some of the bits of dirt that clung to her body. "Well, we all missed you ya know. Hell, I didn't think the Wonderbolt training would be that tough, but then again they are the greatest flyers in all of Equestria, eh?"
... no response.
"Whoa, no comment?" I asked her. Usually she'd be beaming at the chance to talk about them, given that she's a massive fan and all. (I've seen her room, its intense!)
Rainbow rubbed her foreleg, shaking her head. "I... I decided not to join the Wonderbolts, Lee." Rainbow admitted, sniffling once more as she shifted in her spot on the ground.
I've had some things shock me throughout my life... Magic being the main one, along with Pinkie's weirdness, going to another world and some other things... but this something I didn't think possible. Rainbow Dash changed her mind?! "Wait wait wait... you're telling me, you don't want to join them?" I asked her, silence was my answer. "Dash, what happened?"
When she looked at me her eyes watered, she hesitated before looking down, "Firespin." Dash growled, stamping a hoof into the ground.
I could feel one of my eyebrows arch upwards. "Firespin did this to you?" I asked, who was that? "I am very very confused, what did Firespin do, and can I go kick his or her flank?"
Rainbow took a few shaky breathes before starting. "Um." She shook her head. "I flew over to Cloudsdale right? So when I got there I met up with the WB just outside there training grounds-" she paused to see if I was listening, I nodded and gestured for her to continue. "-so I see this new recruit called Firespin. I didn't know how he was but he seemed like a good enough stallion so me and him had a good long talk, talked about different tricks and stuff. Afterwards I got to see their training grounds, where they freaking slept and ate, it was amazing for me."
A ghost of a smile appeared on her face, only to be replaced with a frown shortly. "When the next day came, I started showing off some of my own moves and they said they could incorporate them into their routine if I wanted... I said yes obviously." She sniffled again as I rubbed her back. "Five days after I got there, I was already learning some of their moves and I was getting along with them pretty well... Firespin especially... I was actually starting to like him, he was nice to me and helped me out a lot. but then when Soarin asked me to come out onto the training grounds... I saw Firespin and he..." A flash of anger appeared in Dash's eyes, wings flared knocking my arm back. "He bucking stole my move!" Rainbow growled, angry tears running from her already bloodshot eyes.
I backed up a little, I've seen Rainbow angry but this was a whole nother' level. "He stole your mo-" My eyes widened further in realization. "He didn't."
Rainbow nodded. "He perfected his own Sonic Rainboom..." her angry voice subsided and become nothing more then a chocked sob. "H-he stole m-my move..." she scrunched her eyes shut, digging her hooves into the ground. "He only wanted ot be my friend so he could figure out my R-Rainboom... once he did... I couldn't stay there." Rainbow's cries died down to a quiet sniffles once more. "I couldn't take it..."
I couldn't believe this. Ever since I came here, Rainbow's biggest dream of all time was to become a Wonderbolt, above all else. She would talk non-stop to me about them, how they were formed and based off of an older order of elite Pegasi warriors from olden times, and how Spitfire was undeniably the most awesome Pegasus in the world, just below Daring Do. She had so much memorabilia it was... a fanatic's dream. To hear how someone she called a friend betray her and steal her move... damn.
I mean, I almost had a similar experience in collage, when I developed this awesome program called Napster, needless to say my collage roommate stole the idea and made millions off of it but that's a story for another time.
Okay Lee, you need to say something subtle...
Something... very subtle...
"That beeeeeach!"
Rainbow looked at me...
Good going, Lee. That was about as subtle as a flaming tank flying down a mountain being chased by Apaches! I thought, man I'm a dumbass sometimes. But to my relief Rainbow smiled and laughed, her scratchy chortles in place of quiet sniffles. I could help but chuckle along with her.
"Yeah," Rainbow laughed lightly, rubbing at her eyes and shaking her head. "He is a bitch... acting all friendly to me and sweet, and just did a total one eighty." She looked up at me, a smile in place of the sad frown, she held out her hoof to me in a gesture I knew fondly. "Thanks bro, you always know how to make me feel better."
I smiled and bumped my fist against her hoof. "What are bros for?" I asked as the sun slowly began setting. Damn time flew by fast didn't it? "Hey, want to head back to town? I bet Twi and the gang will want to see you after being gone for so long."
Rainbow acknowledged with a nod. "Um... do you mind if I drop by your place first?" she fidgeted with a piece of grass on the ground, looking nervous. "I kinda left the key to my house in the wonderbolts locker room."
"Uh, okay I guess." I stood up, offering her a hand which she took when a thought came to me. "Wait... how the fuck do you lock a door... made of clouds?"
I got a scoff in reply. "Remember that crazy Element of Harmony fanatic that kept trying to grab some of Rarity's mane for his-" she shuddered, "-collection?"
I snapped my fingers together, remembering that poor sod. "Oh yeah! what's his name... uh... Mane Knot or something like that, right?"
She nodded as we began walking back to Ponyville. "Well if you remember that then you should also remember that plothead broke into my house and tried to make off with my hairbrush." she eyed me. "After that whole thing I looked into buying some locks for my doors, and some special windows. I don't need some crazy fan breaking into my house and making off with my stuff."
Hehehe, oh Dashie. I shook my head, thumbing my belt as we walked along the road. "Well good for you, hopefully that guy won't come after me next."
"And why would he?" Rainbow asked, raising an eyebrow in question. "You're nothing special."
Que the facefault of sadness.
*THUD*
"Ow... my heart... you're such a good friend, Dash." I deadpanned as I stood up, looking over at my companion I could tell she was holding back her laughter. "Oh shut up already."
"Hehehehe."
The rest of the walk home was pretty quiet, save for Dash asking me about what happened while she was gone. Nothing too important happened. But I recollected my week just for the sake of talking to her.
Trixie stopped by earlier in the week for another one of her shows, if you could call it that. She's a stubborn mare. I tried telling her that her magic tricks aren't really tricks to begin with, but she just won't listen to me even though we're friends. She's a good pony, but I swear sometimes she needs to get some sense smacked into her noggin.
Pinkie created a new cupcake after me called the 'Choco-Funday-Super-Mega-Strawberry-Master-Blaster' or 'The Lee' for short. Its... frighteningly good, considering what all's in it that is. She sold a lot over the next few days following its creation and my approval.
Twilight, well she's found some new books on Starswirl, so she's been locked up in her room reading those. Along with my Zombie Survival guide that I had with me for whatever reason. She's... a tad obsessed with them methinks even though she says there's no such thing.
... she knows nothing of the world...
Applejack and Fluttershy have been tending to a sick cow, I helped out with that and as it turned it the cow was preggers with twins... that was... messy and scary... Sessy... Mcary, some combination of the two. Bee and Boo were their names, weirdos.
Once we got near my house I was already talking about Rarity.
"So me and Rars are inside the shop right? And she's been talking to me about making me a new suit for when the GGG comes around next year, when in comes guess who?"
"Um," Rainbow had taking to flying next to me on the way home. She was looking better and better, which made me happy. Hurts to see a bro hurting, know what I'm sayin'? "I don't know."
"Prince Blueballs himself."
"No! That loser?"
I laughed, scratching my arm as I recounted the events that unfolded. "Yeah, Blueballs struts in, shitfaced and I mean he is shitfaced. Fucker's drunk out of his mind on the strongest cider possible and ends up knocking over a bunch of expensive stuff. So-" I pause to stifle a cackle. "-so he walks up to us and says, get this." I then use my best impersonation of drunk Blueblood. "Why h-hello Ms R-R-Rarity! *hiccup* 'its s-surch a lurvly day wo-wouldn't you *hiccup* agree my love? But, its not as lurvly as yooooou~" I make sure to stumble while I'm walking, just for shits. "So I propose that you should accept my *hiccup* proposal to wed."
Rainbow's trying her best not to laugh her ass off right now, judging from how she's holding back tears. "W-what happened next?"
I giggle madly. "He pulls out this small box, and inside is a ring... but its made of candy! And that's not even the best part!"
"What what what?!" Rainbow pleaded, flying down to land so she wouldn't crash. She's chuckling now.
"Every word he said, was directed at a flipping Mannequin!" I laughed, "freaking idiot said all of that to a Mannequin while Rarity was behind the counter, laughing her ass off while Blueballs its trying to shove a candy ring onto its forehead!" another laugh escaped as I added. "then he proceeded to make out with it when I faked Rarity's voice saying yes!"
That got her laughing, hard I might add... very hard... so har-GIT YER MIND OUTTA TH' GUTTA! She was laughing so hard I was worried she might bust a gut there for a minute. Her laughter proved to be infectious and before you knew it I was cackling alongside her. if one were to walk by us they'd hear scratchy guffawing and somewhat high pitched cackling, it can truly terrifying in the darkness... I don't know, shut up.
"So yeah, that was my week. Oh! I also had to call the guards to get Blueblood out of Rar's shop, he was trying to get lucky with a few of the mannequins... it wasn't pretty." I recalled that moment, it was beyond gross. I begged Twilight use a memory wipe spell on me, but she wouldn't do it, said it would cause brain damage if done wrong or something seeing how I'm a different species.
I called bullshit.
"Huehuehuehue," Rainbow cackled as I walked up to my front door and pulled out my keys. "I bet you enjoyed that didn't ya?"
A groan of frustration escaped me. Every time I swear. "Rainbow, how many times do I have to tell you I'm not gay or a coltcuddler or whatever the hell it is you call them?" I asked her. I mean every time she finds an opportunity she insinuates I'm gay, jeez. All this because I was checking out a pony I thought was a mare, but it turned out to be a very disturbing looking colt with the body of a mare... nice flanks was my first thought, but then I saw the nutsack...
And well... it was embarrassing moment for me, one of many. And Dash won't stop teasing me about it no matter how many times I tell her. Damn she even got Twi and Rarity in on it. UGH! I seriously don't need romantic advice on how to pick up a stallion, Jesus Christ on a stick o' butter.
As I opened my door I was greeted with the smell of books, a candle Twi gave me a while back that smelled faintly of strawberries and some scented soaps I left out that Fluttershy let me have after getting covered in mud. She figured I could have them, she didn't have any use for them. My house was pretty bland, the living room had a single couch in it with a moderately sized coffee table placed in front of it with several magazines lying on top. Most of them revolved around traveling and such, something I've been meaning to do for sometime but am too lazy to actually do it.
My bedroom was just off to the right, and my kitchen to the left, with a fridge! and munchies... plenty of munchies for an night of awesome! Oh, and a TV, don't forget that. Yeah its weird, you'd think with Ponyville, and Equestria looking like its in a Victorian era, they wouldn't have technology like TV's, video games and fridges.
I ushered in Rainbow Dash and coughed loudly, like always before taking off my jacket and throwing it halfway across the room where it hit the wall. "So my colorful flying friend, why did you want to stop here?" I asked her before strutting over and sitting on my couch. "Not that I don't enjoy your company, of course."
She scoffed. "I was hoping to use your shower, in case you haven't noticed I smell like sweat and ass and I would like to feel like my normal self again if you don't mind." She told me in a matter of factual tone, trotting off to my bathroom that she helped set up without asking if it was okay. I didn't really mind though, she can but I decided to be a dick anyway.
"Thanks for askin' by the by." I joked at her, hearing a raspberry in response I laughed lightly before turning on the TV, flipping through several channels which I found immensely boring. I'm in a whole new world, and yet TV here is as boring as TV in my old one. Fucking sitcoms man, they're all so... cheesy isn't a word I would use lightly but holy crap. There are some good movies on occasionally but some of them are kinda boring, the war flicks are good to be honest if not especially gory. I love my gore and blood, I'm a sick sadistic fuck.
Hehehehe, I wonder how the Princesses would react if I told them about the games I played to entertain myself? Fucking Goremuncher was an epic game. Needs more blood though. I mused as I heard the sound of running water. Dash was pretty hardcore when it came to some of my tastes in video games, but some of the human made ones I told her about made her a tad queasy, even though she didn't outright show it. I remember when Luna asked me about our military technology and strength, and when I gave her the gist of humanity's destructive power, she asked why would we need such devices to begin with.
My only response: Humans are apex-predators, we're the top of the food chain, and most of us like blowing shit up. That and its all about who has the bigger stick, and protecting ourselves against other countries and various threats.
Needless to say Luna was impressed by our accomplishments. Later in that second week of staying at the castle I learned Luna was the General and Commander of Equestria's military forces. She was more than happy to list down possible upgrades for her Night Guard and Celly's Day Guard, as well as the guard forces in general. The Princess of the night was awesome to hang with, and damn she's a brutal gamer when she wants to be, I don't think I've ever had to play that hard against someone.
Of course she lives up to her reputation her subjects have given her. Trolluna, holy shit she's such a troll. But in a funny way.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my shower turning off, craning my head around I saw Rainbow Dash walk out, glistening coat and her mane hanging off to the side dripping from the water. Now, you'd think, hey a girl's butt naked and she's still wet, I should look away. Yeah naw, if she ain't bothered by it then I ain't either. I walked in on her one time, awkward for a couple of minutes but she said she didn't care, they're naked all the time, soooooo... yeah.
"Have fun with your shower?" I asked, eyeing her form as she dried off her mane with a towel.
She nodded with a hum. "Yep, thanks for letting me use it." She then looked over at me and grinned cheekily. "Liking what you see, big boy?" Rainbow asked in a husky voice. Walking with a bit of sway in her hips.
I shook my head, Ever the flirt you are Dash. I looked her in the eyes and grinned right back. "You know-" she cut me off before I could finish.
"Too bad you're into Stallions," Rainbow frowned, walking over to the other side of the couch to fling her hair back in a rather... suductive way. "We could have some fun~" she purred.
Que the facepalm.
*KER-SMACK*
"Rainbow-" I groaned loudly, frustrated as she cut me off once more.
"I'm just teasing you~ Chill out man." She hopped onto the couch beside me, her fur was still wet but she perfered to let it air dry for some reason. "Can't the big bad human take a little joke every once in a while?"
A sigh escaped me as I smelled the distinct scent of watermelon on her. "Yeah I can, but the gay joke is getting a little bit old Dashie, you need some new material." I told her, cracking my knuckles much to her displeasure. She hates it when I do that, I just do it to spite her. "Anywho, are you free now that you're back?"
Rainbow tilted her head at me, eyes searching mine for something. "Um, I guess so. Why?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to spend Hearth's Warming Eve with me," I started. "I'm bored, and frankly spending a major holiday alone is depressing. So, you in?" I hoped she would, it really does suck spending a holiday alone... by myself... with no one to hang with.
The cyan Pegasus next to me put a hoof to her chin in thought, pursing her lips and humming lightly. "Hmm..."
I waited.
"Hmmmmm..."
And waited...
"Urrrrmmmmm..."
Annnd waited.
"Hrrrrrrrrrumgrrrrr"
And wa-wait what the fuck? "What kind of thinking noise was that?!" I questioned, seriously what the fuck even?
"Ha ha ha ha!" she laughed. "Sure dude, I'll spend a night with ya, just don't think you're gettin' lucky!" she said, playfully poking me in the ribs with her hoof. Yeah it was playful, doesn't mean it didn't hurt like fuck.
Shaking my head I nodded. "Sweet, tomorrow's the day that shit goes down right?" I looked at the TV as a broadcast for the news came on, something about a giant storm in the coming week. "I got a case of that cider you love oh so much, straight from AJ."
She rose an eyebrow. "Straight from AJ, huh?" Rainbow asked, waggling her eyebrows. "huehuehuehue."
It took me a moment... "Ahh hell, you find something dirty in everything a person says." I shook my head, but then again so do I. We're both massive pervs... well, and Luna too no matter how hard she tries to deny it. "So... Rainbow..."
She took on a different look. Looking at me curiously. "Yea, Lee?"
"... What are you going to do about the Wonderbolt thing?" I asked. Part of me knew that was a dumbass question, after what happened with that Firespin douchebag. I wouldn't be surprised.
Rainbow answered with a deep sigh, rubbing the back of her neck she said. "I... I don't know, Lee. I honestly don't know." The cyan mare shook her head, casting a forlorn look at the floor. "It was my dream..."
I nodded. "Yeah, I know you wouldn't stop talking about it." I placed a hand on her back. "Look, this Firespin dude. Don't worry about him. I know Spitfire, she'll have probably ditched the guy by now." I assured her, I did know Spitfire from my clubbing week in Fillydelphia with Vinyl a year ago. We met in one of the clubs and hit it off pretty good, turns out she's pretty cool. We became good friends afterwards. "The Wonderbolts don't tolerate that kinda of doucebaggery, last time I checked anyway. You can still do this!"
"But, my mov-"
I took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at me. She looked shocked but I continued. "Look... I've seen your Sonic Rainbow, it is your thing, you created it. And no one, no one can do it better then you can. That's your signature move! Like how mine is to eat a crap ton of food and still be hungry." I told her, staring straight into her bright violet eyes as I smirked, "and besides, he ain't got a smoking hot body like yours and the attitude to match!" I laughed.
Rainbow gave me a look and shook her head, looking away as I let her go. "Y-yeah s-sure." Rainbow stuttered, shaking slightly.
I knew that look. We're done taking about this for now, but thanks for the talk. "Anyway, now that you hogged my shower, what do you want to do?"
Rainbow tilted her head down in thought. "I-I guess go see T-Twilight and the others, I missed them while I was gone."
"I know you did." patting the couch once I stood up and said. "Let's go and see em, I know Twilight owes me money for her little experiment last week." I informed her as I walked over to the door and held it open for her, she nodded with a grin and flew out. Prismatic mane whipping behind her as she shot by me. "Goob."
"You're the goob!" She yelled back to me, soaring up high and circling back to me before landing, mane and coat back to the way they were. Dry and windswept. Rainbow then struck a pose, her mane flipping back. "Damn, I'm good."
I won't lie, Rainbow is a knockout. "Yes, yes you are." I jogged past her with a smile. "Now come on, stop being sexy and let's get moving!" I told her as I ran past her, completely focused on getting to Twilight's place.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
A short run, several trips and an encounter with a seductive Lyra later, Rainbow and I stood outside the castle in Ponyville, the crystal monstrosity looming over the streets. I find it kinda sad the tree is gone. I liked that tree, it was homey and had a very distinct smell to it I found comforting. The smell of books, the smell of knowledge and mystery.
Yeah, just cause I act the fool doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good book once in a while ya know? I like a good read, especially on cold lonely nights.
Now, being the gentleman I am. I walk up to the front door of the crystal palace, and with the grace of a dancer I kick it open. "Twily! Papa's home!" I yelled, my voice echoing throughout the hall. I saw some guards startled by my appearance, one actually fell back with a yelp.
"Halt! Who Goe-"
"Chill out dude, its just Lee." Rainbow said, swooping in next to me and standing tall... as tall as a pegasus can anyway. "We're here to see Twilight and the gang."
The guard looked like he was about to retort and say something stupid, but then Twilight appeared from the staircase. "Oh, hey Lee what ar-, Rainbow!" She cried, jumping off of the stairs and quickly gliding down to use, and smacking into Rainbow much to my amusement. "You're back!"
I laughed, "Ha ha ha ha," Looking down at the two I said. "Hey, what no hug for me?"
"You weren't gone for a whole week!" Twilight replied, smiling as she stood and helped Rainbow up. "So how was the Wonderbolt training? Did you do well?!" She asked, smiling broadly.
I winced inwardly. I knew Rainbow didn't want want to talk about this, but Twilight didn't know that, or anything about what happened. Fuuuuuuuuuuck. I mentally screamed. Maybe I should have run ahead and told Twi about this, or something! Shit!
Rainbow's happiness at seeing her friend dulled to the pain from before. Before she wiped it away as quick as it came and said. "Oh, yeah um... uh."
"Rainbow's on break from the training for now." I answered for her, shooting her a covert look. We're talking later.
The cyan mare wasn't able to reply, Twilight beat her to it. "Really?" she asked, looking at the two of us with an interrogative gaze. Twilight then flicked her eyes to me in thought, before nodding. "Alright."
I internally sighed in relief while getting a nasty look from Rainbow when Twilight wasn't looking. "Anyway, where are the others at? They here or what?" I questioned, peering around the castle foyer. It was pretty simple, if crystal walls that gleamed like a mother counted as simple. Some plush couches and chairs were situated near a area over on the left, and on the right sat some more couches, it was pretty nice looking. But like I said before I liked the library better, the smell, man.
"They'll be here shortly, Lee." Twilight informed us. "Come come come, sit sit sit!" she said, ushering us over to one of the seating arrangements and sitting Rainbow and I down. "You guys hungry or thirsty?" Twilight asked, offering some refreshments that popped up out of nowhere.
i]Teleportation? I don't know, shit. I shrugged and snagged something that looked like a roll and popped it into my mouth, savoring the cheesy flavor. "Why thank you~" I said as I watched Rainbow cram the food into her mouth. "Hehehe."
Suddenly behind me I heard the door open, and in stormed the rest of the Elements. When they caught sight of Rainbow, all hell broke loose.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
After managing to keep the girls from suffocating Rainbow with hugs, we all sat around a table with food and drinks. The girls telling Dash all about how much they missed her, what she missed that I couldn't fill her in on, and some other random tidbits I had zoned out of. I was busy thinking about where to take Dash tonight, I knew a few bars that were pretty safe to go to, and I don't use that word lightly. Getting into a drunken fist fight with a bunch of horny stallions is not fun, not at all.
Hmm... maybe I could ask Vinyl? She might know a good place. I mused as Rainbow was laughing along with Pinkie, why they were though I wasn't sure. Looking up I decided to excuse myself. "Well, I should get going, I got to plan for tonight~" I sang, bounding over to the door before anyone could ask what about. "Toodles~" I closed the door, walking down the road.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Third Person
Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash, an inquisitive look in her eyes. "Whatever did he mean by plan for tonight?" She asked, tilting her head and leaning forward. Already cooking up something juicy in her mind.
"Me and Lee are going out tonight for a couple of drinks." Rainbow Dash said casually, waving her hoof in a circle with a shrug as Rarity squealed, clapping her hooves together.
"Oh I just knew he would do that!" She cheered, making Dash raise an eyebrow.
"Huh? What are you going on about Rares?" Dash asked as Pinkie scooched closer to the cyan mare, Rainbow eyeing the alabaster mare with suspicion.
Rarity's eyes gleamed as Pinkie said. "Rarity thinks you and Lee would make a really good special someponies for each other!" She cheered, wrapping her pegasus friend in a hug. Rainbow meanwhile, was sputtering wildly.
"Wait what?!" She cried, trying to break free of Pinkie. "W-why would you t-think that?! We're completely different! and I don't even like him!"
The alabaster mare tut-tutted, holding her hoof up. "You two are not so different from each other darling, you both enjoy racing don't you? And drinking obscene amounts of liquor, and eating whatever is in sight that even looks edible." She made a yuck motion before continuing. "And you both have brash attitudes, are loyal to a fault, and are always spending time with each other. Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you two were two were meant for each other!"
Rainbow choked, swallowing her spit before she choked to death on it, she felt her face go red. "Rarity! We're not together!" She waved her hooves frantically in the air, the very idea was absurd to her. Her and Lee of all ponies? Ridiculous! She thought to herself. "I mean, c-come on, seriously?"
"Well why else would he be taking you out tonight?" Twilight asked, rubbing her hoof. "Maybe he does actually like you, Dash." She looked Rainbow in the eyes. "Maybe he's taking you out to tell you that he likes you, I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, he's been here for two years, maybe he's finally decided to try and branch out. This is kind of exciting!" Twilight giggled as Rainbow thought about that.
"Yeah!" Pinkie said, nodding. "And he's always calling you hot stuff, and sexy and hot an-"
"We get the point Pinkie." Twilight stopped her, shoving a hoof into her mouth as she continued.
He... he might like me? She shook her head at the thought. Pfft, no way. We're... well Rarity did bring up some interesting points, we are pretty much alike... and we do hang out together a lot more than we do with anypony else... could he? She felt her face heat up at the thought of all the times Lee had called her sexy and good looking. I thought he was just kidding around! Does he really find me attractive?
He just might. A little voice in the back of her head told her. You know you love him, I'm you remember, no point in hiding it from me. You've loved him for a while now.
I... he... he doesn't love me. Rainbow shot back, flushing red.
Then why did you make up that little story about your house then?
Rainbow shook her head again. "But isn't he gay?" She asked, trying to block out the voice in her head. "I really thought he was."
Fluttershy shook his head. "N-no he's not." She said, hiding behind her mane. "He told me he's not into stallions... several times when he came over to help me with my animals. He's pretty adamant about that." She giggled quietly.
Scoffing Rainbow said. "I honestly thought he was gay, I mean he did check out a stallion that one time."
"He didn't know about that remember?" Twilight defended him, "And in his defense, that stallion was very... uh... mare like, body wise that is."
Rarity nodded. "I remember him, he had such a nice figure." She swooned. "Oh he would look so dazzling in something of mine~"
Rainbow looked to each of her friends. "Come on, he... he doesn't like me." She shook her head again, this time feeling a pang in her heart. "I mean, wh-why would he? I'm nothing special, he could land anypony twice as good looking as me."
Shifting in her seat Rarity said. "Rainbow darling~ You simply must give this a chance!" Rarity cried, hugging Rainbow much to the rainbow maned pony's embarrassment. "Its so obvious he likes you! And I don't think he would take you out for a drink just to have a chat." Again, Rainbow scoffed, but Rarity cut her off. "Just give him a chance! Think about it while you're out with him, and you just might see him in a whole different light~" She told Rainbow, smiling coyly before whispering to her. "You like him don't you?"
Rainbow's eyes widened, she wanted to shake her head but all she could do was blush.
Rarity smiled warmly then said. "I shan't tell a soul."
Sighing, Rainbow Dash gave up and accepted it. "If it'll get you off my back sure I'll think about it, but I'm still convinced he's gay."
"Oh goody!" The fashion dealer clapped, "Now let's get you ready!"
"Wait wha?"
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Lee's Perspective
Man, Vinyl's shop seems to be doing well. I noted as I watched several ponies walk in and out of the shop in front of me, some noticed me and moved aside allowing me inside. Vinyl ran her own record shop out of Ponyville, it was one of the second places I worked during my first week here. It was small, two stories and held a massive amount of records. Most of which were pretty swank, and awesome.
Looking around the inside, I could tell why everyone was flooding the shop. A new stan had been erected inside showing off a new DJ I had heard so much talk about, DJ Schrill or something like that. I listen to a lot of music, but I barely remember any of it. Walking up to the counter I could see one of Vinyl's workers swiftly dealing out records and change as more and more ponies swarmed him. Poor sod.
"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~" A voice cried before a figure slammed into my gut, sending me stumbling back. I grabbed the pony in my arms and held her up, staring into the purple glasses.
"Hello Vinyl, still glomping me I see." I stated as I held her in a hug and walked over to her office, her horn poking me slightly in the chin. I wonder if she realizes she's doing that? I wondered, tossing her unceremoniously onto the couch.
She flopped down, her shades being knocked askew. "Hey man, how could you throw a lady aside like that?" The white mare questioned, adopting a haughty tone as I saw the red of her eyes. Something I always found to be a very nice feature about her, even though she hates them.
I looked around the room, holding a hand above my eyes and scanning the interior of the office. "Lady? Where, I don't see any." I said, smiling a shit eating grin.
"Damn straight son," Vinyl chuckled, sliding her glasses up and letting her eyes be seen for once. She rarely ever took them off save for when she was going to bed, or when I knock em off. "So how's my favorite human doing?" She asked with a grin as I sat down opposite of her.
I hummed in thought, lost in her eyes. "Well, I'm taking Rainbow Dash out tonight and was thinking about going to a good bar, would you happen to know any?"
As expected, Vinyl chuckled and waggled her eyebrows at me. "Finally deciding to ask a mare out eh?" She asked, crossing her legs and looking at me expectantly. "About time, I was wondering if those rumors about you being gay were true."
"Pfft!" I scoffed, shaking my head as I scratched my chin. "What about the rumors I heard about you, huh? About you only going after mares?!" I retorted, smirking only to see her smile wider.
"Boy, I swing both ways~" She sang, leaning back and spreading her legs. "Its more fun that way, more ways to play~" She purred, thrilling her tongue as she swished her tail from side to side.
I turned red no doubt, turning away I crossed my arms and huffed. "Why do you do that?"
"What? Be sexy as all buck?"
I sighed, it was a losing fight. "Listen, bars... do you know any good ones?" I then muttered. "You perv."
With a scratchy laugh Vinyl sat up with a grin, apparently satisfied she got me blushing. She always did that, always tried to make me embarrassed, and it always worked. But I didn't hate her for it, it's just how she is after all. "Alright alright, a good bar?" She tapped her hooves together a couple of times, thinking hard. "There's the Green Dragon Inn, that's a pretty popular place, and Trevor Phillip's Drinkin' Emporium. That's... an interesting joint, I guess. You could try one of those two."
Nodding I grabbed a notepad and pencil and wrote them down. "Okay, those sound good," I looked up ,seeing Vinyl scratching her foreleg. "Thanks for the help, Vinyl, I owe ya one." I tore off the note and put it into my pocket before standing up, "I'll be heading out, we should hang out later on like we used to."
Vinyl continued to grin, she was liking the idea I could tell. "Damn straight we should, knock on some bars late at night, hit up the clubs and wreck the dance floor. Hell bring your fillyfriend along and we can all have a good time~" She suggested, chucking at my surprised and somewhat curious expression.
What does sh-? oh... Turning around I waked out of the office and into the store. "See ya later Vinyl." With a wave, I walked outside.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Third Person, Rainbow Dash
"Rarity, are you serious?" Rainbow asked, looking at herself in the mirror as she inspected the do over Rarity had given her. Well... I guess I look pretty good...
"Why of course darling~" The mare sung, prancing aroudn Dash as she inspected her own work. It was nice, if she said so herself. "If I may ask Rainbow... how long have you felt about him?"
Dash, like Rarity knew she woul, blushed. "Uh..." She rubbed the back of her head, "You promise not to tell anypony?" she asked, putting extra emphesis on the word Anypony.
Rarity nodded. "I shan't tell a soul."
Rainbow sighed. "Okay... I... I guess it started when... do you remember the Ursa Major attack a year ago?"
"Oh my, that was so dreadful!" Rarity cried, conjuring up her couch to fall upon it with a faint. "The horror, the HORROR!"
"Okay okay chill out, Rares." Rainbow chuckled, wvaing a hoof. "Anyway. I... it started after that attack... when I saw Lee injured from being attacked by it, and he kept destracting it so everypony could get away." She recalled the day, remembering it fondly because of what all happened.
A year ago, an Ursa Major had left its cave and wandered into the Everfree, and eventually Ponyville, wrecking havoc on the populace. Everything was in chaos, and the royal guard were taking to long so the Elements sprang into action, though the Ursa Major proved to be too tough and injured several of them.
Lee, being the idiot he was ran into help. One of the injured Royal Guards in the town had dropped his spear which Lee picked up, and used against the Major, fending it off long enough for several ponies to flee. The human being a bigger threat then the ponies, it seemed. Rainbow had broken both of her wings and was in no shape to help, so she could only watch as her best friend, Lee fight off the Ursa Major, getting several injured in the process.
When the Major tried to go after Dash, which she was certain she was done for. She saw Lee jump in front of her, taking a hit to the chest. Lee screamed and yelled at the thing, throwing rocks at it and stabbing it with the spear. getting it to follow him away from her, and eventually away from the town and back into the Everfree. He wasn't seen for weeks after, until the royal guard had brought in his battered body to the hospital.
When Rainbow was allowed to see him, and she saw his body... and the stupid smile he had on his face when he locked eyes with her. She felt it in her chest. he had risked his life for her, and the entire town... a town that found him to be a monster, and a freak. And yet he risked his life for them. She knew right then and there what she felt.
"And... that's it... that's when it started." Rainbow finished, breathing a contended sigh as she eyed the floor. She pawed at the carpet, a nice feeling in her chest as she thought about Lee. She wasn't one to like it when someone saved her, she pegged herself a a lone wolf who never needed help. But to know that she was worth that, worth almost getting killed over... Freaking goob. When Dash looked up, she saw Rarity had a smile on her face. "What?"
"What a wonderful tale of heroics and daring!" The mare cried, grabbing Dash in her arms. "Saving a damsel in distress at the risk of his own life, and she falls for him! Oh I love it!" Rarity giggled. "Its like a fairy tale~"
"Yeah yeah yeah," Dash pushed Rarity off of her gently, looking at herself once more. "I should get going." With that she trotted over to the door outside and with with a wave she said goodbye. "See ya later Rares." Rarity waved goodbye to her and closed the door, leaving Rainbow to walk to Lee's place alone. Maybe... maybe I should tell him... just maybe.
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Lee's Perspective
After leaving the shop I had made my way back to my house where I decided to read a little, I could be working but the spa is shut down as of now. I think they have some kind of stuff growing in the baths, mildew or something and getting it cleaned and disinfected. I was not looking forward to going back there anytime soon, mainly cause I've had my fair share of mildew exposure. That shit is nasty, even more so when its laced with magic... shits alive man, and its scary.
I was currently reading a book about the fundamental uses of magic, it was interesting. I wish I could use it, but humans can't use magic. Video games lied to me, and it saddens me. Anyway, I was reading the book when I heard someone knocking on my door, placing my bookmark in between the pages and putting it down I stood up and walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Rainbow Dash standing there though... something seemed different about her.
"Heya Stretch," She greeted, smiling up at me. "You ready to go?"
I felt an eyebrow rise up, looking out behind her I saw the sun was setting and quickly becoming dark. "Well damn, I must have lost track of time." Walking out I closed the door and locked it, I was ready to go before she came. I had my keys with me and a pouch of bits, enough to go to a bar or two and get some drinks. Turning around I started walking, Rainbow Dash trotting alongside me at a steady pace. After we left I noticed that her mane looked different then usual. Instead of it being tussled and windswept it was, combed? Yeah, a closer look showed it was combed neatly, the tufts that stuck out were instead straightened, and she smelled faintly of something, perfume maybe? That was weird, I didn't think she would get all dressed up just for a night out at a bar.
But hey, who doesn't want to look classy up in a bar?
Walking through the streets of Ponyville has always been a favorite pastime of mine, especially at night. The cool night time air, the moon's lunar rays, and the general silence of it all relaxed me. Rainbow Dash seemed to enjoy to, looking down at my little four legged friend I saw she had a small smile on her face.
After a bit of walking we eventually arrived on a street which I remembered led to several pubs and shops, more specifically the bar I was looking for. Green Dragon Pub.
"Sooo." Dash had started, breaking the silence. The sound of her hooves hitting the dirt and my shoes was all I could hear, now that my attention was brought back to reality. "We're we going to?"
I looked up ahead, scanning several buildings before saying. "If I'm right, then we're going to the Green Dragon Pub." I told her, looking around the buildings for the sign. I couldn't see for shit, and the building's shoddy sign designs didn't help any. "Which, I am hoping is around here, if not then a certain white pony is going to get her ass kicked."
Dash nodded, putting a bit of bounce in her step. "Mmm." She hummed, fluttering her wings as she trotted alongside me. "Let me guess, you got the bar's name from Vinyl?" She asked me, looking up at me with a slight smirk.
"Ehhhh... yes, now I'm starting to wonder if she was being legit." I sighed.
After some more searching, and two drunken hobos later we found the bar, and true to Vinyl's word it was the Green Dragon Pub. A large wooden building with a green dragon on the sign, dragons were the decor it seemed. From the sounds of cheering inside, it sounded like one hell of a place. Though looks and sounds can be deceiving. Walking over to the door I saw a bouncer standing guard, a tough looking red stallion wearing a nametag that read... read...
Oh sweet Jesus... "Big Mac?" I laughed, spotting the usually quiet stallion that worked on AJ's farm, and was also AJ's brother. He wore a black shirt with the words Bouncer on the front and a small badge with his name on it. When he saw me his eyes went wide before trotting over to us. "Holy shit man, what even?" I laughed, Rainbow Dash joining me with her chortles.
Big Mac eyed me then sweatdropped. "Ya can't tell AJ bout this!" He told me, looking over his shoulder no doubt to see if Applejack was looking. "AJ don't know bout this, and Ah don't want her ta."
I shook my head, still giggling at the thought of Big Mac being a bouncer. It wasn't completely unbelieveable, I mean given his size and how he hardly ever talks, it fits him. "Okay okay, we won't tell." I promised, making a sign with my hands. Dash did something similar with her hoof, waving it in a circle. "But for reals though, why won't you want her knowing about you being a bouncer at a pub?"
Big Mac sighed, kicking the dirt. "We're havin' problems with keeping the farm from bein' foreclosed by th' bank." He told me, making my eyes widen. "Ah took on a second job to help raise some bits to pay off the debt we owe ta them."
"Oh shit man, that really sucks." I admitted. Losing the farm would be devastating to AJ and her family. "Hey listen," I started, kneeling down and coming to eye level with him... more or less. Big Mac was a tall stallion, but he only came up to my shoulder. "After tonight I'll come by the farm later on and help out," I told him, getting him to look at me with disbelief.
"Don't think Ah'm ungrateful, but... why help us?" He asked, prompting me to conk him on the head making him give me a look.
"Applejack is my friend, hell she's like family to me. And by extension, that makes Apple Bloom family, and you as well. And if there's one thing that I can't stand to see happen, it's to see my family lose their home." Patting him on the back, I added. "So don't worry yourself too much, I make a crap ton of bits from working at the spa, and I have some bits left over from that little escapade from the Griffon Empire. I'll help out anyway I can."
With a sigh and a smile, Big Mac nodded and moved aside. "Go on in then, Ah guess Ah'll be seein' ya tomorrow?"
"Eeyup." I said, making him chuckle as both me and Dash walked inside the pub. Now that I was inside I could see why it was popular, the inside had a dragon and fire motif, small torches stuck out of the walls shooting fire up near the stone ceiling, dragon decorated chairs and tables were placed inside near the windows and around what looked like wrestling ring in the middle. Several mares in... somewhat provocative clothing trotted about the bar, carrying trays of flaming drinks to mostly male customers. "Holy shit."
"Uh... nice place you picked here, Stretch." Rainbow commented, eyeing a mare as her flank was slapped by a stallion that looked oddly familiar to her.
I shot her a look. "I'll have you know I got this place from Vinyl, if I had known it was a... uh..." I gulped. "what's a nice word to use here?"
"Whorehouse?" Dash suggested quietly as she watched two ponies trot off into a backroom.
"... Yeah let's go with that." I said, now knowing why Big Mac didn't want AJ to know. Our conversation was soon interrupted when a blue maned mare walked up to us.
"Hello, and welcome to the Green Dragon." She greeted us sweetly, flashing a smile as she swished her tail about. "How can I help you today?"
I looked to Dash, she just shrugged. 'Whatever you want to do.' I looked to the mare and asked. "Just here for some drinks, chill out and stuff you know?"
The mare smiled and gestured for us to follow her. "I'll show you to a table then," she said, leading us through the cheering ponies. I saw the cheering was coming from the ring, where two large stallions were wrestling as a lively song played in the background.
That music... I smiled fondly, remembering that particular tune from my collage days in Dublin. But instead of it being Rocky Road to Dublin it was Rocky Road to Trotland.
Sitting down at our table, which was thankfully clear of any drunks and/or trash (among other things I didn't want to see in my seat) The mare smiled at us and asked. "Oh how rude of me, I never gave you my name!" She cried, looking sad for a moment before regaining her smile. "My name is Sunset Breeze, how may I help you tonight?"
I sighed looking at the small piece of paper that detailed several strong looking drinks. "I'll take... the..." I looked closer. "Blast Fusion." I ordered, looking at the drink name. Odd name. Rainbow added her order, which was also a Blast Fusion.
When Sunset trotted off to get our order I decided to get a closer look at Dash now, she was looking very different now that I could see her in the light. Her fur looked groomed, and I could see what looked like eyeliner, and just a little bit of lipstick. She was looking over at the bar, meaning she didn't see my eyebrow raise. She never wore makeup, ever. I think she may have worn a little bit at the GGG, but other then that she never dressed up for anything. She didn't look bad, oh no. The eyeliner really brought out her eyes, something I always liked. She had very beautiful eyes, even though I've told her that, she doesn't believe it, just like Vinyl.
Mares don't take compliments I guess.
She looks... pretty. I thought, continuing to watch her as Sunset came over and put our drinks on the table, both of them were a shocking glowing blue/red color, no doubt infused with some kind of magic to make it stronger.
Sunset smiled when she approached us. "Here you are, two drinks for the lovely couple."
"Whoa..." I said, picking up my drink and smelling it, I smelled blueberry and strawberry coming from it. "Is... it safe?" I asked, watching the swirling colors inside of the glass. "Also, we're not a couple, just two friends having a night out."
Sunset giggled. "Of course." The mare nodded, "And yes they are, otherwise we wouldn't serve it. Though I wouldn't drink too many of them, its a very strong drink. Can get a minotaur knocked out in just a few glasses." She warned, jerking her head to the far right behind Dash. "Or you'll end up like the plothead over there in the booth surrounded by mares," Sunset shook her head. "Bucking Wonderbolt." She murmured, trotting off.
"Wonderbolt?" I asked aloud, getting Dash's attention. Looking over at said table behind Dash, I spotted a stallion sitting in a booth, and like the mare said he was surrounded by mares, at least seven of varying races. Most of which were wearing 'revealing' clothing. They're all naked anyway, why wear clothing? The stallion had a bright orange coat, a red/orange mane and tail that was too damn spiky and red eyes. His cutie mark, from what I could make out was a flame wheel. He was also wearing a Wonderbolt uniform, though it was unzipped from the chest letting tufts of fur sitck out. "What a goob, right, Dash?" I asked, getting no answer I turned around to ask Dash why she didn't say anything, but stopped when I saw her face... I saw her eyes wide and her mouth set in a snarl. "Dashie?"
"Firespin." She growled, hooves trembling as they sat on the table.
"That's Firespin!" I whispered, jerking my finger back at him. What even? "He looks like a total goober! What's he doing here?" I wondered, this is just a coincidence... right? No way he knew she was coming here, only me and Vinyl knew about these places!
To my dismay, she shook her head. "No idea, let's just ignore him." She said, turning to her drink and picking it up. She held it towards me and gestured to my glass, "let's have a good night, eh?" Dash said, smiling even though I could see the hurt in her eyes.
I smiled back. "Yea, let's have a good night." I nodded, clinking my glass to hers before bringing it to my lips and taking a sip. I was soon overwhelmed with the combined taste of blueberry and strawberry, along with a tangy sensation and the tickling of magic. All in all, it was interesting, even better when I felt the buzz. After taking a bigger gulp I put my glass down, "Hoooo! That is... pretty damn good, how bout you Da-" Looking up I saw she had already downed her glass. "Whoa."
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and shrugged. "What?"
"... nothing, I guess, hehehee. Didn't know you were a hardcore drinker." chuckling I took a bigger chug of my drink, downing it in three gulps before slamming the glass back down. Holy shit that fucking burns! shit shit shit shit! "Tasty~" I croaked, with a painfully contended sigh and a slightly burning throat I hid my wince at the pain and asked. "So Dash-"
"Hey, don't touch me you jerk!" Someone screamed, followed by a glass breaking.
My eyes shot over to the sound and, no surprise it came from Firespin. He was looking at one of the mares who worked here with a smug look on his face, hoof outstretched towards her flank. "Well maybe you shouldn't be lookin' so damn fine girl." He said, reaching out to touch her again before his hoof was slapped away, the mare backed up a few steps as Firespin glared at her. "Don't you know who I am? I'm a bucking Wonderbolt!" He yelled, making everyone inside look at him, most were chattering away and making disapproving looks. "Maybe you should do what I want."
Several other mares trotted over, other workers of the building came over to her defense and kept him away. One of them pointed to a sign on the wall that read Looking, no touching. "Read the rules you dumbass, you can look, but no touching!" One mare yelled, this one having a smooth looking green mane and body.
"Rules or not, this place sucks." He said, "You should change the rules, just this once." Firespin suggested with a certain tone to his voice, standing up and walking over to the four ponies with an evil glint to his eyes.
I growled under my breath. "Fucking asshole." I muttered, standing up and walking over as Dash shot a look at me.
"Come on baby~ I'm a Wonderbolt, see the uniform?" Firespin asked the girls, who were backing away from him. He kept advancing towards them, I knew that look in his eyes, he was going to do something to them. "I'm also rich~ Why don't you leave this shithole and come visit me sometime, I got a nice little place in the hills we could go and... have some fun~" He said, reaching out to touch one of them before Sunset came over and slapped him in the face, sending him reeling back. He fell to the floor holding his face as Sunset glared at him.
"Get the hell out of here you asshole, or I'll go and get our new bouncer to do it for you!" She screamed at him, lips in a tight frown and eyes narrowed. She was pissed, and she had every right to.
Firespin only growled. "You bitch!" He yelled, flapping his wings and flying towards her. He was about to hit her... if I hadn't intervened that is.
I stepped in between them and caught his punch, pushing him back and standing protectively in front of the workers. "Alright punk, why don't you just beat it." I told him, pointing to the door. "Out the door or through a fucking window, I don't care."
Looking up at me, I saw his eyes narrow before he laughed. "What's this thing?! A bucking monkey?" He laughed loudly, a little too loudly making me growl. "Who let their pet loose?" He asked, looking around for my 'owner'
"Yeah yeah yeah, I've been called a monkey like five thousand times, come up with something new you twat." I waved his insult off, insults like Monkey had gotten old a year ago. "Seriously though, get out newbie."
Firespin flew up to me, face inches from mine. "Do you even know who you're talking to, monkey?" He asked me, flashing his uniform at me. "I'm a bucking Wonderbolt! You can't talk to me like that."
I smirked before laughing, pushing him back as I wiped away a fake tear. "Nigga please, you're not a Wonderbolt. Now Spitfire, she's a real Wonderbolt. I should know, I'm good friends with her."
"Liar! She wouldn't be friends with some kind of," He gestured to me wildly. "Mutant freak like you!" He whined, much like how Blueblood does.
Oh god, is this a sibling of his?
I scoffed. "Whatever, now why don't you just leave this place. They asked nicely, so now I am asking nicely." I moved aside, pointing to the door. "There's the door, now why don't you leave before you cause any more trouble then its worth bub. Everypony in here would like to enjoy their night, without having to listen to your whining." I got several nods of agreements and some yells for him to leave, actually everyone in the bar was yelling at him to leave save for his posse of whores.
He seemed a tad angry at being yelled at by everyone, he turned red, hooves quivering and to my dismay. He threw a punch at me, hitting me in the nose and making my stumble back. Don't get me wrong I can defend myself, but Ponies pack one hell of a punch, seriously.
Wiping my nose and looking at my hand, I saw the blood. I looked back up as Firespin, "I can look past that." I offered, not wanting to start a fight. "Let's just both part ways, and enjoy the rest of our night."
I heard trotting next to me, then saw Rainbow Dash. "You heard him Firespin, just get the buck out of here."
When the Wonderbolt recruit looked at her, he grinned. "Well well well, if it ain't Dashie~" He purred, flapping down and landing before walking over to her, which I stopped him from doing. "How you been baby?" He asked.
"None of your business." She snarled right back at him, stamping her hoof down as I heard Big Mac come in.
Firespin laughed as he got a closer look at her, I don't know what he saw but he backed away, a smile still plastered on his face. "OOoo, I see, you're with the monkey aren't ya!" He yelled, why yell it? "You're dating an ape are ya? After me, you decided to go and buck a mutant ape? Funny, funny."
After him? I looked at Dash, seeing her flush and turn away from my gaze. I turned back to Firespin. "What did you do?" I asked him.
He laughed again. "What do you mean?" He looked between us, the made an 'O' face. "Oo, yeah me and her." He started, pointing to Dash then to himself. "We had a thing, had a real nice time didn't we Dashie?"
"Sh-shut up!" She yelled at him. "Nothing happened!" She yelled, looking at me, tears in her eyes.
I held up my hands. "Alright alright we can talk about this some other time, right no-"
"You are really a slut aren't you?" The orange pegasus giggled. "Just going after any dick you can get!" He then stepped forward again, and before I could stop him he hit her, sending her tumbling back. "Bucking bitch." He looked up at me. "You're pathetic, can't even protect your own mare, hehehe."
Something broke... I'm not sure what... but it was enough. I cracked my neck. "Okay... out the window."
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Third Person
"Where the hell is that idiot?" A bright yellow mare wondered aloud, trotting down a street in her Wonderbolt uniform. This mare was Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts. Behind her tailed Soarin, her lieutenant, and Fleetfoot, her second.
"Probably off getting drunk somewhere." Soarin suggested, sighing and flapping his wings a few times to loosen them up. "I can't believe he stole one of our backup uniforms."
"I can't believe what he did to one of the new recruits, who was it... Rainbow Dash?" Fleetfoot asked, tilting her head in thought.
"Yeah, that was her alright." Spitfire acknowledged. "You don't steal moves, especially from one of the elements of harmony. She would have been a damn good member, I can only hope she'll take me up on my offer."
Her thoughts were abruptly stopped when the sound of a window smashing and a shrill scream was heard, All three Wonderbolts looked over to the left and saw a window to a bar called the Green Dragon burst open, and a Pegasus in a Wonderbolt uniform was thrown out through it where he rolled on the ground and hit a lamppost. Then the door opened, and out came her friend Lee, his shirt bloody and nose bleeding. He stormed over to the pony Spitfire recognized as Firespin and picked him up, making him shriek.
"Get this monkey off of me!" He screamed, kicking and flailing as Lee dragged him over to a wall and punched him, hard in the stomach.
"You little fucker!" Lee yelled, punching him again before spinning him around and throwing him, sending him into a lamppost with a crack. Before Lee could do anymore damage Spitfire stepped in.
"Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down Lee!" She cried, flying up to him and putting her hooves on his shoulders, making him stop. She saw the anger in his eyes, the raw unbridled rage within. She could feel it radiating off of him like a furnace. Whats gotten him so angry?!
Lee tried to move past the captain but she kept him in place. Fleetfoot checked on Firespin, then scoffed. "he's alright, just knocked out."
"Fucker better be glad you're holding me back, otherwise I'd have his head cut off and used a a fucker doorstop!" Lee yelled, shaking and baring his teeth.
"Lee!" Spitfire yelled again, punching him in the shoulder and making him glare at her. "Stop! He's out, let him be." Lee growled but regardless, backed away. Complying. When he did she saw the injuries he had, "What the hell happened?"
Lee spit, a glob of blood flying onto the ground. "Fucker started some shit in the bar, I stepped in and stopped him but then he started throwing punches, and insulted me but I let it slide. But then Rainbow came up to me and they started talking, then he punched her and... I just lost it." He explained, shaky breathes escaping him.
Jeez. She had never seen Lee this angry, it was rare to see him angry at all. The entire time she's known him he's never let his temper get the better of him, and to see him this angry and to see one of her recruits beaten up... Firespin was an asshole, she'll admit it after all he's done to the team. But he was trained to defend himself against pretty much any threat, which is a part to the training. Seeing Lee, a human she had previously thought to be reletively harmless take out a new recruit who scored a high defense test rating so easily... it scared her. Firespin is only second to Fleetfoot in hoof to hoof combat, and she's just below me... if he can beat him up, what about me? She wondered, then remembered he was her friend, not a monster. He wouldn't attack her.
Lee had calmed down some, but he still shook in the night air. Wither it was from the cold or subsiding anger, she couldn't tell. He shook his head, rubbing his temples as several ponies left the bar to see what was going on outside. No doubt following the carnage. Spitfire could see Rainbow Dash trotting outside, her eye blackened by what she could tell was a punch and had a small bit of blood running from her nose. When she saw Lee she rushed over to him and asked. "Lee! Are you okay?"
He nodded, shakily. "Yeah I'm good." He said, wiping his nose. "Fucker almost broke my nose, is all."
Dash looked ovr at Firespin's form. "Freaking..." She made to go over to him but was stopped by Spitfire. Rainbow stood, shocked. "S-Spitfire!?"
"I was wondering where you went, Rainbow." The captain said, looking her over. "You don't look so bad, other then that eye." She commented.
Dash looked at the ground, looking on the verge of breaking down once more. Here she was, standing before her former captain, injured and weak. I'm pathetic. She told herself.
"Listen," Spitfire started, putting a hoof on her shoulder. "I want to let you know, that I want you back with us at the acadamy." She said, making the cyan mare look up at her in disbelief. "Don't worry about Firespin, he's done with us." Spitfire looked over at Firespin's form, Soarin and Fleetfoot taking the uniform off of his broken body. "Not only did he steal one of your moves, he also stole one of our reserve uniforms and from the looks of it, assaulted not only a Element of Harmony, but Lee as well and those two are an offense."
"There's a special offense just for me?" Lee asked, when Spitfire nodded Lee said. "I'm touched."
"All that, he's being kicked out of the Wonderbolts, he only got in because of he's a daddy's boy and his father begged and begged me to give him a chance." She shook her head, remembering the moment when the stallion's father came into her offcier and begged her, sad. "Anyway... I'm hoping you'll come back and finish your training."
"... you... you want me back?" Rainbow asked, looking ready to tear up again.
Spitfire nodded, a soft smile on her face. "You have talent, I've seen that for myself several times." She turned around, walking over to Firespin. "He has talent, and he could have used it if he didn't do the things he did. But now, he'll be lucky if he doesn't get carted off to jail, which I'm sure he will after I submit my report to the princess." She turned around, looking back at the cyan mare. "If you still want to... come see me tomorrow, okay?" She asked, Rainbow hesitated but nodded nonetheless. "You two go home and get some rest, you look like you need it."
Rainbow nodded and turned down the road, Lee followed her shortly after but was stopped as Spitfire came up to him, flying next to him. "Yeah?" He asked, wondering why she stopped him.
"Hey Lee," She looked down the path at Rainbow, who had noticed Lee stopped moving and decided to wait for him before going on. "You like Rainbow, don't you?" She asked quietly.
Lee tilted his head. "Of course, she's my friend. I like all my friends... why do you ask that?"
The Pegasus hook her head. "I don't mean as a friend..." She looked back to Lee. "The whole time I was training her, you know what she talked about?"
"Impressing you and eventually taking your position in the Wonderbolts?" Lee asked with a smirk. "She talks about that a lot."
With a short chuckle Spitfire said. "No," She placed a hoof on his shoulder, and leaned in. "She talks about you, she talks about impressing you by finishing up with the Wonderbolts, and showing you a new move." She said, shocking Lee to a degree. "She really likes you, Lee." She left Lee to ponder her words as she flew back over to her teammates, who were currently waiting for a guard.
Rainbow likes me? Lee thought as he walked over to Dash, who was waiting.
"Ready to go?" She asked, sniffling slightly.
Lee smiled, "Yeah, let's go."
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Lee's Perspective
After leaving the bar and paying my tab, we had headed back to my house. The trip was uneventful, and quiet save for our movements across the dirt pathways. When we approached my house I opened the door and let Dash in, I walked in myself and closed the door, locking it behind me before turning on my lights. Rainbow Dash sitting on the couch with a somber expression, no doubt torn on deciding wither or not to go back to the Wonderbolts. I hoped she would say yes, because it was her childhood dream, I don't want that ruined because of some jerk like Firespin.
I walked over to my fridge and opened it up, pulling out two bottles of hard cider I remember getting from Applejack after I had beaten her in a game of Blackjack... needless to say she's one tough player, has the perfect poker face. Going over to the couch I sat down and handed one of the bottles to Dash who took it with a silent thank you. Popping open the cap we both downed a good portion with a sigh.
Looking over at the mare, I saw some of her eyeliner had been smeared by tears, and blood still stained her nose. She looks pitiful. Putting my glass down I walked over to the sink and grabbed one of my spare rags and soaking it in warm water I returned to Dash.
"What are you doing?" She asked as I turned her face towards me, a blush on her face.
"Washing your face, if you haven't noticed you're covered in blood, and your, uh." I gestured to the blackness under her eyes. "Eyeliner is smearing."
She said nothing, only nodded and let me wash it off. She closed her eyes and I began washing off the blood first, being careful not to press down too hard on her nose. After cleaning it off I moved to her eyes, being more gentle there. Some time later I had cleaned it all off, her fur dampened. She opened her eyes, bright magenta irises looking up at me. "T-thanks, Stretch." She thanked, I nodded.
"No problem." I then placed thr rag down, it being covered in black and red. I picked my drink back up, taking a bigger gulp from it before a thought made itself known. The conversation me and Spitfire had an hour ago.
She really likes you, Lee. Spitfire had said to me. Rainbow Dash, likes me? She's always saying I'm gay, I remembered, bringing a slight scowl to my face. Even if that's true, why does she like me? Spitfire wouldn't lie to me, we're good friends. I tried to think of reasons why Rainbow Dash would like me. ... uh... I give her free drinks? I laughed mentally, shaking my head. "Hey Dash... can I ask you something?" I turned to her, seeing her look away I continued anyway. "What did Firespin... what was he talking about earlier?"
Rainbow's eyes widened, then she looked down. "Do you... do you remember when I told you I was starting to like Firespin?" I nodded, prompting her to continue. "He... he asked me out later in the week we were training together... being an idiot I said yes, and we went out to a bar in Cloudsdale after training was over for the day." She sniffed, looking up at the ceiling she said. "After a few drinks, I started to see how much of an asshole Firespin really was, after three drinks he was being rude, looking at other mares and staring at their flanks." She shook her head, I could tell how aggravated she was to talk about this.
I put a hand on her shoulder, making her shiver for some reason. "You don't have to tell me if its making you feel uncomfort-." She stopped me, placing her hoof on my hand.
"No..." Dash told me, her voice soft. "After the bar, we left. I wasn't as drunk as he was, I only had a few, and he had a whole round." Looking down at the floor she added. "We had to walk, and he lived in Cloudsdale so I had to take him home, he couldn't fly worth a shit. He kept talking about some shit, saying how he's going to conquer the Wonderbolts and make everypony his bitch, how he's going to become the greatest there ever was." Another shake of her head, her hoof trembling. "When we got to his house, he tried to make a move on me. Started grabbing me and saying how I should come inside for a good time, I hit him and flew off." She looked up at me, her eyes locking on mine. "He was lying when he said we rutted, nothing happened, Lee."
"I know Dash." I patted her on the back, nodding. I know she wouldn't do something liek that, with someone like that asshole. Deciding to change the subject, I asked. "Have you thought about what Spitfire asked? Going back to the Wonderbolts?" I do hope she says yes, like... legit.
"What do you think?" She asked... she was asking me, not a retorichal question but she was asking me what she should do. "What should I do, Lee?"
Taking her hoof, I held it for a second before saying. "This was your dream Dash," I started, staring into her eyes as she did the same with me. "Since you were a kid, you should't let some asshole like Firespin ruin that for you." I felt myself move closer to her, she did the same. "I think... you should go back to them, join them and fulfill what you spent your whole life training to do."
"You really think so?" She asked, closing the gap between us inch by inch.
You know what... fuck it. I cupped her cheek and closed the distance between us, pulling her in for a kiss. I think her eyes widened at first but she relaxed into it, kissing me back. She wrapped her arms around me, I mimicked her and pulled her close to me. Feeling her fur against my fingertips, the silkyness of her wings as they extended from my touch. I felt her press her tongue against my lips, begging for entrance, I didn't hesitate to let her in. I fought her tongue with my own, but she eventually overpowered me, feeling the inside of my mouth and tracing along my teeth, sucking in a breath whenever she touched my canines.
I could taste her, and she tasted spicy, something that I could get used to. I heard her moan under her breath as I rubbed the area between her wings, something I learned from my training at the spa. Sadly this couldn't last longer, I was enjoying it greatly. We both pulled away, taking in breathes of air greedily. We locked eyes, holding onto each other.
"How long?" I asked her, she kenw what I was talking about.
She blushed slightly when she answered. "The Ursa Major attack last year." She said, pushing her nose into my neck and inhaling deeply. "I've thought about that day for weeks, and I..." she clutched onto me tightly, I held her against my body. "Lee, I..." She moved back and kissed me again, but this one was different then before. This kiss was soft, full of passion, one that you give someone to tell them how much the care about you and can't put it into words. Dash pulled away from the kiss, face inches from mine as her eyes looked into mine. "I love you." she whispered.
I smiled, to which she smiled back. "I love you to, Dashie."
-ooo000=+=000ooo-
Ever since that night, me and Dash had become a thing. the terms being special someponies, I'm not a fan of that term but I didn't care. Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Rarity was ecstatic to hear about us getting together, and Pinkie threw us a party complete with booze. Love that little ball of fluff. Its been three weeks since then... and I couldn't be happier.
Who would have thought being with a flying pony would make me a happy SOB?
You know... before all this, I always felt like something was missing from my life...
But now I know what it was... I was missing the nice taste of Skittles from it.
"Hey! I heard that!"
"You know you love it! Hahahaha!"
"That's it!"
And that's how I got together with Dashie, and how I was beaten almost to death.
FIN
Author's Note
This incredibly crappy one-shot was brought to you by SHITE ROMANCE Studios and TL;DR Productions.
I have no idea if this is going to be good or not, but I needed to compeltel something for one and here it is. Three months in the making. Enjoy, read, review, up/down vote I don't curr, I tried.
Also, I'm thinking of making this a series of stories called: A NIGHT WITH: Followed by the name of said pony. Like, A Night With: Rainbow Dash. For example, and I'll be having a vote thing. You can vote for a pony you want to see written.
Vote Now! Journal will be put up after this, of course to keep track of the votes... the tiny miniscule votes I get because people don't care.
Buh bye for now!
I own the following characters.
Lee: The Human.
Firespin: The Asshole Wonderbolt Trainee
Sunset Breeze: Sexy Waitress
I also own the land of Trotland, Equestria.
