The Rat of Equestria

by EnderDash_13

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Dark, Comedy
Length: 2425

What ever happened to Tirek? Was he just left to rot in Tartarus? Or did someone come and finish him off? You're about to find out.

We never did know if Tirek stayed in Tartarus, was he just sitting on the cold stone podium he called a home? Did someone ever visit him? Well, someone did. Let's just say it wasn't the best meet and greet you'd expect.:twilightsheepish:

This is my first fic but I have more in the works! Let me know what you thought of my story, I'm always open to positive feedback!:twilightblush:

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-23 01:30:02 UTC

Sarcasms The Best Trick

"It has come to my attention that our costumer isn't enjoying his stay?" asked Discord who sat behind a concierge desk.

Tirek frowned in disgust and un-amusement, he hated it when Discord used sarcasm. "No," he said.

"Well, we can book you a flight straight out of here by Tuesday, does that sound good?" Discord was checking a calendar full of flights.

"If you were actually serious for once in your damned life, yes. But considering you aren't, no," Tirek grumbled.

"What ever do you mean?" Discord popped out of Tirek's ear in miniature size. He stood posed against Tirek's lobe, and whispered in his ear. "I always loved sarcasm. He disappeared and reappeared in front of Tirek as Tirek himself. "I never enjoyed sarcasm," Discord mocked in the tyrant's voice.

"Why you little..".

"Ah ah ah!" Discord scolded him,"There's no need for potty mouth around here,".

"I can use whatever language I pursue! This is my home now! Not yours you incompetent fool of a Lord!" Tirek shouted.

"Be thankful we didn't give you handcuffs this time," said the draconequus.

Tirek looked down at his handcuffs, though they weren't handcuffs. They were chocolate frozen onto his fists.

Tirek yelled in annoyance as he smashed his own fists against the wall, breaking the hardened chocolate. "If you didn't like them, you could've given them back," Discord crossed his arms.

"Curse you and your powers!" shouted Tirek, shaking a fist.

"You're right about one thing," Discord circled the hooded creature,"I have powers," he giggled and spawned a scoring booth. A scoreboard read two team names, "Tirek: 0" and "Discord: 1".

"Enough with your games!" yelled Tirek. "Why have you come to see me?".

"I told you we scheduled a tea party today," Discord pulled out a smaller calendar,"Oh wait, that's with my dearest FlutterShy," he smiled warmly as he said the name.

"If I had my strength, I'd use your body as a tea plate!" threatened Tirek.

Discord appeared wrapped around Tirek's mangled body like a python. "But you don't, so...". He teleported a few feet away from Tirek, sitting in his throne he'd decorated 1,000 years ago. "Let's have small talk instead of tea," he offered.

Tirek gave up, it was no use arguing with Discord. If you ever tried you'd come in last. "Fine, let's talk Discord,". And with that, Tirek agreed with Discord for the first time in his life.

Discord

Discord stirred the chocolate milk in his glass as he sat in his armchair, intent on doing his job assigned by Princess Twilight. The hooded figure in front of him watched him with glaring eyes, his method of sarcasm had worked earlier. Though it puzzled him why Twilight would trust him again with a job like this. The last time he was assigned to do a job, he ended up helping the wrong side, Tirek's side. "Are you going to sit there like that and stare at me, or are you going to blab your little mouth at me?" the draconequus asked.

Tirek furrowed his brow,"I don't question much," he crossed to one side of the stone floor,"But I know why I'm here,". He looked at the floor beneath him and looked back at Discord,"But, I don't know why you're here,".

"Business, sent from the Princess herself," Discord made a statue of Twilight and pretended to bow to it.

"Does the business involve shooting me with an orbital beam? Or to smother me in books?" Tirek listed off the things he's learned that the princess was capable of.

Discord chuckled, and drank his milk. "My dearest Tirek, have you not met Twilight Sparkle?" he looked down at him for an answer.

"Not on the nicest terms," he growled.

"I know, never mess with her books," he waved his fingers in fear. But he respected Twilight of course, he couldn't help but crack that one for a while. "Didn't you...feel anything during that fight?" he asked him.

"Pain, and annoyance," he said,"Ponies shouldn't be that strong,".

"You'd be surprised," Discord spawned some more chocolate milk for himself,"Have you met her friends? They used to be quite a handful for me,".

"What is your business coming here? To annoy me to death? If that's the case, it's working so far," Tirek mumbled.

"Close, but no," Discord floated above him,"I'm simply here to make sure you don't break about again," he smiled as he encircled Tirek.

Tirek raised an eyebrow,"Have you been imprisoned for almost a thousand years?" he asked.

Discord stopped smiling. "Never mind that, anyways.." the draconequus disappeared. His voice echoed throughout the darkness surrounding Tirek's platform. "I'm here to torture you, to make you suffer, to make sure you never want to see Twilight's or my face ever again,".

Tirek shrouded to a smaller size. "I've learned my lesson! All I wish is to get out of this hell hole!" cried Tirek.

"Oh I assure you, you're not in hell yet my dear friend," stated Discord.

"Show yourself coward!" Tirek called out.

Discord appeared in front of Tirek in the form of Twilight, presenting an evil smile on her lavender face. "Here I am," she smiled and blasted Tirek with her horn.

The blast knocked Tirek against a wall, almost diminishing it. He fell from his indent on the surface of the stone, and hit the ground hard. All he could muster out of his mouth was a groan of pain. Discord was in fact hurting him.

"Should I be more gentle with your mangled corpse?" asked Twilight.

Tirek lifted his head from the ground, cold hatred in his eyes. "Buck You,".

Twilight lifted him with her magic and tossed him far off his pedestal. Tirek fell through eternal darkness, until he slammed into jagged rock below. He rose, but his bones felt like rubber. His eye sight cleared as he looked around for where he was. He stood in a field of rocks, everywhere there were sharp edged stones the size of houses. But only one thought was swimming inside Tirek's brain.Where is he?  Behind Tirek, a rock with points that jutted out like branches exploded. After the dust had cleared, Twilight appeared again. With an evil grin, she levitated him again and tossed him into a larger rock, his spine cracking on impact. Tirek fell to the soft dirt below him, he could've sworn he had a nosebleed. "Had enough fun yet Tirek?" she smirked and held him up to face her. "A centaur like you should already be in hell," her smile dispersed into a lip curl, and she shrugged,"Guess they threw you back here,".

Tirek didn't have the energy to say anything. He just looked at Twilight with strained eyes, feeling them water.

"Let's move onto Round 2, shall we?" after that, the princess punched Tirek with his hoof, and slammed him into the rock with her magic until his face turned compared to hamburger meat.

Pain

Tirek was shoved against another rock, his blood dripping along its rough surface. His eyes were strained red and his nose was twisted in ways beyond magical repair. His bones in his body were shattered, and his back was thrown out far worse than before. He lay crumpled on the soft dirt littered with pebbles, an Alicorn walking towards him from the dust.

"Looks like it's gonna take more than just pounding your face into stone," she seemed unamused that her victim wasn't dead yet.

"Just leave me alone," whispered Tirek through pain was it pulsed through him. His body was in no condition to allow him to speak anymore.

"And let you escape again? Not a chance," she lifted him up with his magic and blasted his chest with a beam from her horn. This sent him flying many feet until hitting the ground again. He'd swallowed some dirt, it tastes horrible as it traveled to his stomach. He spit the remains of earth stuck in his teeth, and tried to get up.

"Why...a-are you...doing this?" Tirek groaned through the thousands of needles pinching his muscles. The princess walked towards him, an axe levitating within her magical grasp.

"You are a rat, Equestria is my home. I don't want rats in my home," she smiled and brought the axe up and smashed it down onto his left hand, cutting it by the wrist clean off. Blood squirted from the opening from both his amputated hand and his wrist. Pieces of bone lay cracked on the ground, soaked in blood.

"That has to hurt," said Twilight. She looked the sharp instrument she held with her magic and tossed it aside. She thought what to use next. I could pull out his teeth, no to easy. Maybe feed him to Cyberus? No too simple. I could torture him, yes...yes that'll put him in his place! She smiled wickedly and spawned a table with her magic. Er..his magic.

Tirek felt himself touch cold steel, his body was positioned to lay straight. The next thing he felt was his own flesh being ripped from bone. A searing hot pain spiked up his legs as they were stripped of his skin. He winced at the pain, he wanted to be dead already. A metal instrument was inserted into Tirek's chest, soon realizing it was to numb his body. Twilight grabbed several surgical tools and began opening his bare body. She started at his neck, taking a long knife as she cut a symmetrical line down to his stomach and with doing so, exposing his organs. He looked down at the horror that was his own insides, but he looked away as Discord appeared to his normal form and started picking at his stomach. "Let's see what your daily meals have been lately," he took a long knife identical to his previous tool and cut Tirek's stomach open. He could feel his acid spill out onto the table, but he didn't feel anything. Tirek felt himself slip slowly from consciousness, but his heart seemed to know of his previous actions, and kept him awake. His heart wanted him to stay alive to face the suffering. But as Discord began removing his organs, one after the other Tirek's heart couldn't hold him any longer, before Discord could grab his heart, Tirek passed out and died.

Locked Up

The cold stone beneath Tirek didn't help him overcome the acceptance of his new home. He lay there, cold, sad, and lonely. You'd gone and blown it again you idiot he thought to himself. You, Tirek! Defeated by a bunch of ponies! How could it be so unfair? Unfair. That word suddenly came to him, it actually hadn't seemed unfair. Up to the point until the alicorn princess they called "Twilight Sparkle" and her friends did something magical with their "friendship". Disgusting. He stared at one of the four walls that were supposed to be thought of as walls in a home. This was not his home, and it never would be. But as long as he was weak, he had to get adjusted to the idea. His powers had been drained from him, and he hadn't even had the strength to even move a few feet within his pedestal of stone, perched high upon the darkness below. He could try walking down the steps, but when he peeked again, the Cyberus was staring up at him, teeth bared. There goes that plan he said to himself. He decided to play a game with himself. He'd invented it not long ago, and with the time he had in there, he could play it for a long time. The object was to see how many mistakes he'd made while trying to take over Equestria again. Number One, he marked off in his head, Trusting Discord. Discord. That putrid mistake for a Lord of Chaos. He had planned to have Discord believe he was going to rule Equestria with him from the beginning. But when he turned to Twilight after he'd been rid of his own powers, Tirek realized that mistake. Discord! I curse you with all the strength I have in me! Damn you! As if on cue, a blinding flash of light appeared in front of Tirek. He shielded his eyes, the light stinging his pupils. The light dispersed, revealing none other than the Lord of Chaos himself. Discord. "I heard someone say my name?" he asked. Tirek yelped, jumping back against the wall behind him. He hadn't realized how scared he was of Discord.

"Oh ho ho," he grinned mischievously,"If it isn't my dearest old friend Tirek,". He smiled evilly, frightening Tirek even more. "Have you called for a little talk about unfairness?"

Tirek dug deep within him to say something back, but all he could find were two words. "Damn you,".

"So he has," Discord's smiled widened. "Let's talk Tirek,".

Princess Twilight

Discord hadn't notice Tirek pass out until he realized the centaur's heart wasn't beating anymore. This surprised Discord, but he smiled and took the sign that his work here was done. He grabbed Tirek's dead body and floated up to Cyberus. The three headed mutt growled at Discord's presence but look curiously at the "treat" the draconequus held. "Hungry boy? Catch!" Discord tossed Tirek's corpse towards the dog, within the blink of an eye the guard dog had Tirek in all of his mouths. Discord heard the bone be crunched and flesh be digested and knew his time here was done. With a snap, Discord was standing before Twilight's throne.

"Your highness," he bowed.

"Discord please," Twilight left her throne and picked Discord up,"You should never bow to me,".

"Sorry, your request is fulfilled. Tirek won't be coming back, ever".

"Good job Discord," the alicorn smiled at her friend and looked outside. "Now go on, I hear FlutterShy's having a tea party, and it needs another guest,".

Discord smiled, before he left he looked back at Twilight who was waiting for him to leave. "Thank you, Princess Twilight,".

She nodded and turned to exit the room but stopped in her tracks, and turned back to the draconequus. "Discord?".

"Yes my dear?".

"You're sure Tirek's dead?".

"He was a rat, Equestria is your home. You don't want rats in your home, so I exterminated him," Discord grinned and walked to the door.

"Discord,".

"Yes my lady?".

Twilight walked up to him and hugged him, wrapping her forearms around his body. "Thank You," she said.

"Your welcome, Princess Twilight," and with that, Discord walked out the door and closed it.