But They're Called Muffins, Bon-Bon.
Derpy Hooves had just finished delivering all the mail in Ponyville. It was now late afternoon. Like most Sundays, it wasn't too busy at the post office. There wasn't anything wrong with the weather either. Which was good for Derpy, since she had plans for the afternoon. She flew across Ponyville, nearly crashing into a few buildings, until she arrived at Bon-Bon's candy store, which was closed for the afternoon. She knocked the door a few times. The door was opened a moment later by an Earth pony with a mane the colour of pink and navy blue.
"Hello, Bon-Bon!" Derpy greeted the pony happily. "What are we baking today?" It was only a week ago when Bon-Bon had sent an invitation to Derpy to meet her at the candy store.
Bon-Bon grinned a toothy grin. "Today, we'll be making cupcakes!" she answered, leading Derpy inside towards the kitchen.
Bon-Bon's grin became wider and wider to the point of looking menacing. "You seem very happy," Derpy commented, not noticing that Bon-Bon was also starting to drool. "I'm happy too! But really, you have to remember that cupcakes without frosting are called muffins."
Bon-Bon ignored her comment and picked up a recipe book from the counter. "So, what kind should we make?" she asked.
Derpy thought for a moment. "What recipes have you got in the recipe book?" she asked.
"Well, we got blueberry muffins, whole grain muffins, carrot muffins--"
"Ooh, Carrot Top would like carrot muffins!"
Bon-Bon drooled even more. "Yes, she would be tasty--I mean, she would like the taste of carrot muffins." Bon-Bon handed the recipe book to Derpy. "Why don't you look through the book and find a recipe you like?"
Derpy picked up the book and jumped excitedly. "Yay!" she squealed. She looked through the book enthusiastically, not realizing that Bon-Bon was sneaking up behind her with a large, empty flour bag. In a few seconds, Derpy found herself trapped inside the bag.
"AAAAH!" screamed Derpy. "Bon-Bon, I'm being kidnapped!"
"Quiet," shot back Bon-Bon. Derpy could now feel herself and the whole bag being lifted, and she could hear footsteps. In a few minutes, she was shoved out of the bag and into a dark room.
"Usually, I can't see things right," Derpy commented. "But now I can't see anything." She could feel her her hooves being tied with rope, and then she felt the ropes typing her to a flat surface. Then the lights turned on, and Derpy realized that she was tied to a table in a room full of baking ingredients and sharp kitchen knives. In front of her stood Bon-Bon, now clearly out of her mind, as one could tell by looking at her wide eyes and grin. She picked up a kitchen knife and was about to strike, when Derpy had something to say.
"Yay, Bon-Bon! You've come to rescue me!" Derpy smiled with joy, obviously unaware of the real situation.
This comment took Bon-Bon by surprise. "What are you talking about? I'm not here to save you."
"Then explain why you look so happy. And explain why you are holding that knife like you are about to cut these ropes and save me."
"No, Derpy, that's not what I'm doing."
"Oh, oh! You mean you are here to save someone else who also got kidnapped? Like Lyra, maybe?"
"NO, DERPY!" Bon-Bon yelled. "I'm about to turn you into bite-size pieces and bake you into those non-frosted cupcakes. Then I'm going to--"
"Wait a minute, Bon-Bon," Derpy interrupted. "They're called muffins. And did you say you wanted to bake me?"
"Yes, yes I did say that," Bon-Bon answered.
"Then why didn't you ask? If you free me and let me into your kitchen, I'll make the best Derpy muffins you've ever tasted!" Derpy exclaimed joyfully.
Bon-Bon just stood there, surprised at what her prisoner had just said. Then she let Derpy go. "Alright, then, less work for me, I guess," Bon-Bon thought aloud. She led Derpy to the kitchen and then went back downstairs to clear up the kitchen knives and rope from the cellar.
* * *
It was about an hour later when Derpy approached Bon-Bon. "I'm done!" She said.
Bon-Bon turned to look at Derpy. "But that's impossible! why aren't you dead yet?"
"Dead? Why would I be dead?" Derpy asked, her eyes helping to express her confusion. "I might have vision problems, but I can still cook. I make meals for my family almost every day, and they turn out surprisingly good. See?" Derpy handed Bon-Bon a light brown muffin. On the muffin was a toothpick with a note attached to it. The note had a picture of Derpy, which was awfully drawn but still recognizable.
She took a bite and smiled. "Mmm, this is really good!" She removed the toothpick and gobbled the rest of the muffin. "Are there any more?"
Derpy nodded. "Come to the kitchen and I'll show you." However, as they went to the kitchen, Bon-Bon's facial expression changed from happiness to shock.
"What did you do to the kitchen?!" Bon-Bon asked, looking at the mess around them. Muffin batter and flour were spread out on the floor and on the walls. Nearly all the kitchen appliances were out of place and the mixing bowls and wooden spoons filled the sink. The counter where Bon-Bon wrote down orders and received payment form the customers had paper all over it, and the paper had scribbles and ink spills all over it as well. The cupboards and drawers were left open, and one of the cupboards had a broken door. The only clean area was the part of the counter where the trays of muffins were placed.
"Sorry, Bon-Bon," Derpy apologized. "I just don't know what went wrong. Maybe I just wasn't used to a new kitchen."
"Saying sorry won't help you now, Derpy," Bon-Bon said sternly. "You'll be sorry for messing with my kitchen!" However, before she could say anything else, the front door opened. At the door were Lyra...and Bon-Bon.
The first thing Lyra and Bon-Bon did was drop their suitcases on the ground. As it turned out, the two ponies were actually on vacation for a month now. The second thing they did was stare at the mess in Bon-Bon's beloved kitchen and the two ponies in the middle of the scene.
The Bon-Bon who was standing beside Derpy looked around in embarrassment. "I guess I should better go now," she said, turning into a changeling and flying out the nearest window.
"Well..." started Derpy "...that sure explains a lot, doesn't it?"
Lyra and Bon-Bon were still staring at the scene, not sure how to respond. It was at that moment that Derpy picked up the tray of muffins on the table. "Would you like to have a fresh muffin?" she asked.
