the Tragedy of Hoofbone Bill

by Blockhead Stallion

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Romance, Adventure, Sex, Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Zecora, Alternate Universe, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 1274

Can a renegade zebra slave kill the deadliest gunslinger in the Equestrian west? for Hoofbone Bill, it's not a question of IF, it's a question of HOW. and the answer? as painfully and messily as possible. that's how.

A renegade slave zebra named Hoofbone Bill is captured from his slavers by the infamous Chain-Hide Charleyhorse, the fastest gun hoof in the west. When Hoofbone barely escapes Charley's bullet with his life, he sets himself hell-bent on ridding the west of it's terrorists, and Chain-Hide is first in line...

Published 2015-03-21 05:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-21 05:50:02 UTC

Prologue: Hoofbone Bill

They say the only good zebra is a dead zebra. At least, That's what they USED to say. That was back when the west was wilder than a mare in heat, and you had to shoot anypony you disagreed with. In those days the cider was cheap, and the mares were fresher than desert roses. You had to walk miles to reach any remotely civilized neighbors, But I got none of that. I was a Nagger, see? A zebra. And zebras were doomed to slavery from birth. The work was cruel, The unrelenting sun scorched our backs all day, and even at night the dirt we walked could burn your ankles black. Those were the days of the Old West, and the tyrant gunslinger Chain-Hide Charleyhorse. Charleyhorse was known across the Foaljave desert as the deadliest unicorn in the west. He was fast as lightning, mad as a dog, and could blast the guts out from between a stallion’s legs before they knew what hit them. old Charleyhorse and his men had torn across the west, slaughtering mare and foal alike, and anypony who dared to disobey his orders got the bullet. One couldn't help but tremble at the sound of his name. I’ve known ful-grown stallions to damn near piss themselves when recalling the horrors he committed on their families. just about anypony you asked would have been craving the end of that bastard. Strangely enough, this man would be my salvation, my obsession, and my worst enemy…

1: of Naggers and Nightly Highwaymen

It all started at about midnight, several miles out of the town of Hoofprint Basin. I was being delivered to a plantation there by a couple of slavers named Buck and Harvey. those bastards were rich to the teeth with zebra slaving, and it was clear that they knew what they were doing. What they did not expect was that sonofabitch Charleyhorse and his boys. There were eight of us in all; me in front, with my wife right behind, and one of the brothers on either end of the line. It had been eight days since we had eaten more than a few rotten apples, and the chains around my ankles had worn them to the bone. The boys were on a deadline, and a couple of zebras moaning in pain, and losing their bowels weren't going to slow them down. We kept traveling slowly through the dusty half-light of our lantern lit path, Most of us praying to Celestia that we wouldn't cash in before dawn. That was when an ear-splitting shot rang out through the night. Before I could even react, My face was drenched in hot salty blood. The stallion in front of me, Buck, had been shot clean through the eyes. I saw his face in the half light with a great dark hole where his green eyes should have been. A bullet had punched right through his dumb skull. He stood still as if staring into the dark, blood flowing down his face, before his jaw fell open, and he collapsed to the ground. It took me ages to realize what had happened, but I was brought to my senses by the bewildered voice of Harvey coming up behind us. As he saw his brother’s corpse spread out on the ground, he yelled and reeled away from us.

“alright, who done it?” the fear in his voice was thick as tar as he pushed his face right up to mine. “Which one of you Naggers shot Buck? I’ll kill you! i'll have you whipped to death-”

Another shot rang out and he jerked his head up, screaming in pain. his right foreleg had been splintered at the knee. All of us zebras backed up in a hurry as several unicorns leapt from the bushes, guns drawn. They circled around Harvey and his dead brother, yelling joyfully, and kicking at the fallen brother’s ribs. We watched all this in a huddled mass from the shadows in frozen amusement. Then we heard a voice shout over the others. i didn't realize at the time, but it was the infamous Chain-Hide Charleyhorse.

“Everyone, please, PLEASE! Give the poor bastard some room, and one of you grab those Naggers over there before they get any bright ideas.”

A chestnut stallion grabbed hold of one of our chains, and dragged us out closer to the group. I could now clearly see what was happening. old Charleyhorse had his hoof planted firmly on Harvey’s muzzle, glaring into his eye.

“Hey there, Harvey! What have you been up to since last we met? rustling Naggers, is it? I hear there’s a lot a bits in for a good strong Nagger these days… Ain't that right, boys?” The throng of gunmen whooped and hollered in reply, shooting off their cannons in the air. Charleyhorse laughed, and scooped a stocky mare from the ranks of his team. She was supporting what looked like an old extended rifle cannon. “Hey, hey Harvey, Say hello to Cactus here, she’s the one who did that beautiful number on that bastard brother of yours. Great shot, isn't she? cleaned out both sockets nicely by the looks of things. I could stick my cock in it, it’s so big!” This caused the surrounding crowd to start hooting maniacally again.

Harvey’s face burned red, and he spat at Charley’s hooves. “that’s not sayin’ much, considering you’re-” Charleyhorse cut him off with a kick to the teeth, and a hard one at that. I heard Harvey’s jaw crack, and he spat blood. He started sobbing, and shaking like a foal.

“Aw... Come now boy, don't do this. you asked for that. You deserved it. Nobody gives me cheek. NOBODY.” Charley slammed his hoof into Harvey’s groin, causing him to double up in pain. He then drew the revolver cannon from his belt where it stood elevated inches from the Slaver’s skull. “now… I’m gonna ask you once. Where did you boys hide my guns? I mean it, don't fudge this up now, ya hear? I know that sonofabitch rigged that shipment, and i’m fixin to get it back. right now. Where are they?”

“We don't have it anymore…” Harvey whimpered, trying to protect his more sensitive areas from harm. “A band a highwaymen attacked our shipment caravan before it reached us. They killed everyone. We couldn't do anything about it!”

Charley stepped back from him, raising his revolver. “Well now, is that it, then? you couldn't do a damn thing? Well shit…” he chuckled, and holstered his revolver, and turned away from the wounded stallion on the ground, fire burning in his eyes. “I guess that makes it all right, then? I'll just let you go. No hard feelings. He looked directly at me, and sneered. “What do you think, Nagger? should I let this poor fella go? Will you forgive him his sins?”

I stared back at him resolute, determined not to so much as blink. His sneer deepened. “Thought not… stand him up!” he shouted over his shoulder. two of his men jabbed and pulled Harvey to his trembling feet, supporting him between them. He kept one leg off the ground, as it was busted to hell. “There we go, much better...” there was a flash of steel as Chain-Hide whirled around with his gun drawn, and fired. The bullet punched Harvey straight through the heart. He stood bewildered for a second, staring wide-eyed at the crimson blood spouting openly from the hole in his breast. After far too long, he fell forward on his face. He was dead as a doornail.