Starlight Glimmer's Inextinguishable Flame
Starlight Glimmer wanted one thing, and one thing only; to make a change for the better. She desired a better world, a world in which the people are equal. Some didn’t understand what must be upheld and protected. Starlight was one of the small few that knew what must be done to protect the individual rights of humanity. However, through no fault of her own, Starlight Glimmer had fallen to the darker part of her subconscious; a place that still believed in a benevolent future, but lacked compassion and understanding, making for a bitter, selfish, and maleficent being. These traits were the only thing to keep her going, and yet they were the sole reason for her downfall. With the assistance of her poor judgement, corrupted ideals and lack of her original, good-hearted kindness, she did the unthinkable… she allowed her own townspeople to die for the benefit of her cause.
Full on war consumed her mind, becoming her everyday life. One by one, they marched to their demise fighting Equestria’s royal guards. Of course Princess Celestia didn’t want it to come to this, but she had to defend her kingdom.
Then, everything changed when she met the girl of her dreams, Sunset Shimmer. Sunset helped lead her down the path of rehabilitation, slowly but surely changing her for the better. She had become the powerful, good natured soul that she’d been once before. Alas, her rejuvenation came at a price. Starlight was disgusted with the person that she was. She still wanted to create a world of equality, but she felt that a place of prosperity could only exist if she were not a part of it.
Starlight Glimmer awoke in the soft embrace of her bed, sobbing lightly, coiled up in the comfort of her teal and turquoise sheets. Ever since Sunset had helped bring her back to her senses, she had cried herself to sleep every night, and awoke in the same manner.
Using the covers, she wiped away her tears. She became used to waking up this way, and almost welcomed it. Starlight Glimmer felt like she deserved to be miserable.
Finding her way out of bed, Starlight slumped into the bathroom. She always felt powerless in the morning, and sitting in a pool of her own tears never helped. Resting in some cool water usually helped to wake her up.
After taking a short bath, she brushed her beautiful, lavender-blue hair until it was to her liking. In the corner of her eye she caught Sunset, still asleep in her bed. She almost forgot that Sunset spent the night. Starlight smiled lightly, noticing how cute she looked in her slumber. Striding out of the tiled room, she tiptoed slowly across the bronze carpet to her lover. She hesitantly shifted into the bed and slid under the covers, careful not to disturb Sunset.
Ever since they’d met, Starlight always admired how strong Sunset could be. A trait she had long since lost. In the face of oppression, she faced off against the royal guard and Starlight’s own forces, pleading for peace. Sunset would always get upset with her for thinking so poorly about herself; something else Starlight loved about her.
Reaching down gently, Starlight caressed her cheek and placed a small kiss on her plush lips. The sweet gesture stirred a comfortable sigh out of Sunset Shimmer. Such delighted sounds from Starlight’s beloved were enough to make her swoon.
“Good morning,” Sunset said.
“Morning, .bed-head,” she replied. Sunset’s puzzled expression was a sight to behold, Making Starlight giggle. Sunset slowly lifted her bangs, noting the texture was far from decent.
“Oh, God, I feel ridiculous!” she exclaimed.
“I think you look adorable.”
“Well of course you do, but I think I look God awful.” Sunset rolled over-top Starlight and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Starlight asked.
“Are you kidding? I don’t know about you, but I’mfixing my hair.”
“Hurry back,” she said. She loved being with Sunset, and loved her personality. Sunset was the greatest person she’d ever met, and she wouldn’t trade their love away for all of the riches in the world. Her heart sank, however, when she thought back to who she was when they met. Starlight pushed her face into her pillow, thinking of a time when she felt proud and strong. Now, she only felt depressed. Sure, Sunset made everyday worth living and she was happy to have found her, but still it wasn’t the same. She longed for true happiness.
* * *
Starlight sat in the dim light of the kitchen, staring blankly at the wall. Even now when the townspeople had forgiven her, she still felt sorrowful. Every day, for the past year, she sat there feeling the guilt take hold.
“Starlight? What are you doing in the dark?” Sunset walked in, taking a seat across from her.
“I’m just… thinking,” said Starlight.
“I know what you’re thinking about,” She hesitated to continue. Everytime they talked about this, it ended poorly. Either Starlight got too upset to talk, or Sunset would be too frustrated to try to console her. “You shouldn’t dread, Star, it’s over. The past is in the past, stay here with me… in the present.”
Sunset placed a hand over Starlight’s own. The sweet gesture went unnoticed, as Starlight still showed no sign of her embrace. Sunset decided then, that she was going to save her girlfriend. She was going to do everything possible to make sure Starlight could finally let go of her past.
“Starlight, do you remember what you told me when we first met?”
“Sunset, please don’t,” she said. Starlight and Sunset have had this conversation a thousand times before.
“You told me never to live in regret, never dwell on the past.”
“That was… before. Things are different now.” she said. She wasn’t necessarily wrong, either. She said those words when she’d been proud of her work; now she was sickened by it.
“You’re right, things are different now, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy!” Sunset was fed up with her, but that wasn’t enough to make her give up.
“I-I just don’t know… It was my fault. All of it,” Starlight began to weep.
“Star, don’t cry,” she began, “You know I love you, right?”
Sunset gently moved over to Starlight’s side of the table, placing a hand on her face. Starlight lovingly pushed into her embrace, while wiping tears from her eyes.
“Why do you care so much?” she asked.
Sunset gave her a very confused look. “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since we first fell in love.”
Starlight let out a weary sigh, “Ok. I’ll try not to blame myself so much. It’s just so difficult, you know? Those people…” Starlight had been gripping Sunset’s hand very tightly at this point. Everytime they talked about the lives that were lost in order to gain equality, it was always a tense conversation.
“Try not to think about it. Hey, how about we go out for dinner tonight, huh? My treat,” she said.
“Sounds… nice,”
* * *
Starlight was lost for a very long time, trapped in a cocoon of her own guilt. Because of this, she couldn’t live her life to the fullest. However, with the help of Sunset, she’s begun to forgive herself. Even though Starlight is still suffering the pain of loss, her soul still burns brightly, and inextinguishable.
