I'm Not Crazy

by Lord Midnight

Rating: teen
Tags: Nightmare Moon, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6090

Coyote is a brony who was sent to Equestria by the Author Aurora. His dark past and bright future colide as he deals with the last thing he ever thought he'd find, love.

Coyote is a human, mostly. He shares his body with the soul of a demon. Over the years, he has had many adventures and finally got sick of the constant fighting and exploring. After deciding to spend a life as a normal human, he winds up discovering the most addictive thing in the world; ponies. Now a human with a unique power has come to him with an offer. He gets to go to Equestria, she gets to write his story and post it to increase her ever growing popularity. He agrees in a heartbeat and sets out to enjoy a new adventure. How will the ponies react to a whole new ancient incendiary evil unleashed on their world intent on making friends and playing games with the continuum?

This story is part of, and the origin of the Aurora Verse

Published 2015-03-20 11:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-20 11:00:01 UTC

I'm Absolutely Insane

“Alright everyone! Time for a double from the crowd favorite Coyote! He’s going to be singing some Rob Zombie for us after he sings one of his brony songs. This one is called Spirit of Chaos. Coyote, get up here and sing for your shots!”

The crowd yells as the tall singer stands and knocks back a shot. He’s wearing black jeans and a heavy black hoodie. Sweeping back his hood, he shakes his long raven hair, unleashing his signature howl. Several people in the crowd howl back. When he grabs the mic, the crowd goes silent, hoping this new one isn’t as bad as some they’ve had to put up with. Everyone loves Coyote. He’s funny, nice and an amazing singer; not to mention the best bouncer the bar has. Also, he's modest. Not.

However, he’s still regarded as a bit of a weirdo by the majority of bar-goers. Seriously, even the couple of closet bronies at the bar think he’s weird, and it’s not just because he can get onstage and go straight from "Proud To Be a Brony" to "Destroy Everything" in ten seconds flat. Coyote is known for his insanity, whether it’s the brutality he can display or the absolute randomness he has. Not even he can deny he only has a couple of screws loose. The beat starts, and as Coyote starts to sing the song, the crowd cheers; this is actually a good one. Several people even start dancing to it. Coyote surveys the bar, looking for interesting reactions. He ends with an insane laugh that sends shivers down the spines of everyone who has seen the true form of that laugh.

“Alright everyone! Thanks for bearing with me on that one. Now, for what I know you’ve been waiting for… Living Dead Girl! You know though, I once had this thing with a chick who loved to-"

“Coyote!” The DJ cuts him off.

“Right! Spin that shit, DJ!”

This time, the dance floor in front of the karaoke stage is flooded with dancers. A couple of girls walk up the stairs and dance with him. No one will ever know how he can manage to keep the words flowing perfectly with so many ‘distractions’ around him. The theory that he was gay was shot to hell after his first week living in the flat above the bar. After the song is done, he unleashes an unearthly howl again as he hops down from the stage. He says bye to his only real friend Velvet as she’s leaving, and starts to head back to his table.

A guy dressed like a biker blocks his way. “What kind of a man likes to watch a show about talking magical ponies. Are you a fairy?”

The crowd goes quiet and backs away from the idiot making fun of the bar’s resident psychopath. Coyote grabs a pencil from a nearby table and points its tip at the biker, “Shazam!” Coyote looks at the pencil in mock confusion. “Sorry, nope. Tried turning you into a princess, didn’t work. Maybe I need more glitter?”

The biker blinks confused for a moment. “Are you an idiot? No, I was asking if you're a fruit bowl. Only a fruit bowl would like ponies.”

“Can’t say that I am, I’m a human, sort of. Well somewhat at least. It’s complicated. I’m pretty sweet and people love my juices so maybe?”

“Are you just fucking with me faggot?”

The crowd leaps back at the use of Coyote’s trigger word. On the door to the bar is a sign with the rules of the bar. #1 is that the use of the word faggot is strictly forbidden. Coyote’s entire demeanor changes. The relaxed slouch and somewhat glazed look in his previously brown eyes disappear as his eyes flash red.

Coyote releases a hell-sent laugh as he drives his hand into the bikers throat, choke slamming him onto the ground. His free hand drives downward into the idiot's diaphragm as he drops his knee onto the biker’s shin. A muffled groan escapes the unconscious victim as Coyote stands up with his hands in his hair and a panicked look on his face. Panic flashes to lust. “Hehe I could kill you so easily, little human.”

“No, I need to get control. Back off, you’re not in charge here.”

“Hehe, Don’t deny it, Coyote. You want to kill him.”

A feral growl escaped his lips as he shakes his head, “Alabaster, get the fuck back in your box and shut the fuck up or I’m coming in there and kicking your ass.”

He smiles and throws the downed opponent over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. After depositing him with the rest of the trash, he goes back inside only to find someone at his usually empty table. Well, usually empty except for Velvet, anyway. She is short with long golden hair and wearing a slim white dress.

“Greetings, Coyote. I am Aurora. Would you like to go for a short walk with me? I want to speak to you in private.” Her voice is quiet, but somehow easily heard over the din of the bar. Coyote nods and gestures for her to take the lead and follows her outside. They walk next to each other quietly until the bar is out of earshot. “Coyote, you were hard to track down, even with the stars guiding me to you. I am curious why the stars led me to you. Of everypony I’ve met, you don’t seem the type they usually take me too. If anything, you seem crazy.”

Coyote grins. This chick is interesting. “I’m not crazy. I’m abso-fucken-lutly insane. So what’s up, anyways?”

“I’m a special kind of author. I like to make my OCs from real people. It puts a little extra soul into the story, after all.” She giggles at the joke. “Tell me: if somepony offered you a chance, would you go to Equestria, unable to ever leave?”

“In a heartbeat.”

She pulls out a notebook and pen.

“What race would you want to be?”

“Is human an option?”

She pauses and stares up at the sky, “No. The stars say it has to be a pony race.”

“Unicorn and earth pony perfect dihybrid. Keep my long black mane with a blue coat.”

“Interesting. When would you want to show up? Bear in mind that there will be limiters that prevent you from abusing your knowledge.”

“I want to arrive in time to learn to use my magic well enough to have a brawl with Discord. I know I won’t win but come on, fighting the real Discord would be epic. Why are you luring me towards that ally anyways?”

She stutters for a moment, “Coyote. What exactly is going to happen to you tonight?”

“You're gonna lure me into an ally and send me to Equestria, separating me forever from everyone I’ve ever known all for the sole purpose of you getting a good story.”

We turn into the alley as Aurora is still sputtering. “Why?” she spits out.

He cocks his head sideways with a smile, “I’m afraid you're going to have to be more specific.”

“Why do you know that? Why are you going along with it? Why are you so calm about this?”

“Hey, you tell me. The stars led you to me for a reason, right? What do you even know about me? Every day is the exact same thing. I wake up, eat cereal and eggs, play around on my computer, go downstairs, and keep an eye on everything at the bar. On weekends, I get wasted and sing karaoke. My life is nothing but booze, fighting and MLP. It used to be so interesting, adventures and fun. Sure, I got hurt a lot and lost my humanity, but what can you expect? I want to have an interesting life again. I actually have one request. Find Velvet Dash and send her in after me if she wants. It won’t be nearly as much fun without my best friend.”

She stares at the sky again, “It seems I am allowed up to three in this world. Alright, so shall we begin?”

Coyote barely nods when she grabs him and kisses him. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them he stares at her in shock. “Are you sending… oh.” He takes in the sudden change of scenery. He’s in a white walled hallway and Aurora is fading out of existence.

A voice that sounds a lot like Aurora’s plays over a soundsystem, “Please continue forward as we begin the process. First stop, ponification.”

“Does this count as breaking the fourth wall? I’m technically talking to my author right now, right? Anyways, onwards to insanity!” He takes off at a brisk pace down the hallway. He reaches a room with a complex looking machine with a display on it. “It is already programmed, just step inside.”

He shrugs and walks into the box as it closes behind him. “You sure like your plot devices, don’t cha? Wouldn’t it be more interesting to do something like AARRGH-” He cuts off from the intense pain of ponification. Don’t question your author.

Stumbling out of the pod, a large deep blue unicorn with a messy black mane and tail looks around. “Still not as bad as that one time I -redacted for ratings-”

The speaker system sounds, “Coyote, this is supposed to be teen rated! Nothing like that! Stars, this isn’t a clopfic!”

He gets a disturbing expression on his face. “Good luck with that. Assuming we started the prologue in the right spot, I’ve already beaten someone half to death. Make it mature, just to be on the safe side. So I can shoot magics now?”

He stares off into space for a moment and his hooves catch on fire. Attempting to lift them both to look at them he falls flat on his face. He spaces out again and this time wind starts to spin around the room. “A little help here? I can use my demon powers but can’t figure out the whole magic thing. Oh wait, lets see…” This time his horn glows and a bolt of amber light burst from his horn striking a wall and causing it to melt. Behind it is a black abyss of nothingness.

“Lets move to phase two, shall we? The hyperbolic time chamber!”

“Let me guess another plot device so I can learn magic without it taking years of practice to learn the basic spells of a unicorn? Whatever, let's do it.”

Following the hallway to a glowing door, he trots in, revealing a large room with a grass floor and-

“Whatever, just get to the timeskip already, Gods!” Coyote yells right before he trips and falls head over hooves through the door. Five minutes or for him several years later he emerges with a happy look.

“This whole bad writing and plot device thing goes away after I get into Equestria, right?”

“ARGH! Fine! hHere.”

Coyote completes his business in the prologue dimension and disappears in a flash of light.

Coyote POV

I reappear in a dark forest surrounded by the sound of snoring and growling. Looking around, I feel a surge of annoyance at my author’s last dick move as I take in the sight of a sleeping pack of timberwolves.

Let’s just 'nope' the fuck out of here, I think as I focus my unicorn magic. My blink spell teleports me to the outer edge of the napping wolves. However, the noise wakes them up.

“Nope.” Zap. “Nope.” Zap. “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!” Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap. I take off at full gallop, screaming the same word and punctuating it with a teleport that allows me to gain ground on the pursuing wolves. Eventually, I escape the pack and continue galloping while screaming and teleporting. Suddenly, a thought crosses my mind and I stop and facehoof. “Well, that was silly." I glance back at my flank, remembering my cutie mark with the form of a flaming sword. “My special talent is fire. I’m running from wood. What has my life become? I need to get back in gear, this whole pretending to be a normal human thing made me go soft. Then again, if I hadn’t gone soft, I wouldn’t love ponies. Or would I?”

I look behind me, debating on going back to try and take on the wolves to redeem my extreme cowardice. Looking back the way I was going, I shrug, continuing on through the forest and hoping for an exit. After an hour in the woods, I finally emerge into an apple orchard. My eyes light up at the sight. Either I know exactly where I am, or I am more lost than I thought. Scanning the orchard, half the trees are harvested. I notice one shaking in the distance and the apples fall out of it. This episode? But this means that I have to manage not kicking Gilda’s flank between her ears. I have to deal with the parasprites! I facehoof again and trot over to see a very exhausted Applejack.

Let's speed this process up.

Walking next to her, I say, “And that’s why I think you should get some help from your friends.”

She looks at me, startled. I continue with a look of annoyance. “You forgot who I was again, didn’t you? Do you even remember any of this conversation?”

She looks like she's racking her mind. “Ah don’t need any help. Ah can handle this just fine,” looking irritated.

“Fine, just tell me my name and I’ll agree with you.”

Her eyes dart back and forth.

“Okay, how about this? I just got here and don’t have anywhere to crash and need a job. How about we help each other out a bit?”

I’m bigger than her, easily a head taller not counting my horn. She shakes her head a few times, “Who are you again?”

I dramatically facehoof. “I’m Coyote Harbinger. Coyote for short.. I just came here from another world. Still following? Good. I showed up in that forest surrounded by timberwolves. I saw you struggling to harvest this entire orchard yourself and you told me about your brother getting hurt. We argued a bit. I had to tell you my name and all this again. Then you kinda sat there with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Then I asked if you needed another hoof around the farm. You asked why you would, and I explained. Then I realized you still had no clue who I was and yeah, it’s been bad. What do you remember now?”

She looks confused and studies my face. Her eyes close as she’s staring at me. I wait a moment for them to open. A stallion even bigger than me walks over, slowly limping.

I keep my voice quiet and let my southern drawl enter it. “Big Mac, Ah’m guessing?”

“Ayup.”

“Ahm Coyote. I wish I could say this was the longest and least productive conversation Ah’ve had in a while but Ah used ta be a bouncer at a bar, so Ah’m used to it. I still can’t tell if she’s interested.”

His eyes narrow, “Interested in what?”

“Ah just got here. Ah've got no place to crash tonight and need a job. Ah noticed she was struggling to manage the farm without y'all an Ah have some amount of experience workin' farms. Ah offered to be a spare hoof around the farm during applebuck season. Then she fell asleep again. I've told her my name a few times now, let's see if she remembers it when she wakes up.”

She stirs and her eyes shoot open, “Who are you again?”

“Nnope.” Big Mac sums up the answer with a single word and an amused smile. “Yer hired if ya can handle it.”

I smile. “Ah’ll do my best, boss. But Ah recommend AJ take a nap and not worry about that award ceremony until after she’s in her right state of mind.”

Big Mac does a double take, “She did that yesterday. Ah’ll take my sis for a nap. Just load the apples onto these wagons for now an Ah’ll be out to show you the ropes around here.”

I nod and turn to give the tree behind me a stout kick. I’m happy and surprised when a good half of the apples fall out. I kick it again and almost all of them are out. One more solid kick finishes the tree and I levitate the baskets over to the wagon. Big Mac helps Applejack back to the house shaking his head. I’ve cleared twelve more trees by the time he gets back. A light sweat is beginning to form by now. This is gonna be a long week and I'm going to get my exercise.

Big Mac shakes his head again when he comes back and sees me applebucking.

“Alright, what in blue blazes do y'all keep shakin’ yer head at?”

He looks at me stoically. “Yer a unicorn apple buckin like a proper earth pony, instead of just grabbin' the apples with yer magic. Ah didn’t even know unicorns could do that.”

I smile at him. “Ah’m a dihybrid. So Ah am a proper earth pony. Besides, Ah’m still working on complex levitation of multiple small objects without burnin' em.” I gesture to my cutie mark.

He takes a step back and looks at my cutie mark, “Yer special talent is fire?”

“An' fightin'.” He teaches me the rest of applebucking and leaves me to it, promising a place in a spare room, dinner and some bits when I’m done with the day's work. I land a solid kick on the next tree. This time they all fall out with the first thump, and I pump a hoof in celebration. I’m getting the hang of this. I hear a gasp behind me and see the rest of the mane six behind me. Pinkie is hovering in the air mid-gasp. She takes off at max speed.

“Whelp, that was somethin’. If y'all wanna talk to Applejack, she’s in the house sleepin'. Big Mac is up recoverin', an Granny is somewhere I suppose.”

Twilight and the others look surprised. Dash looks annoyed. “How in the hay did you convince her to accept help?”

“Big Mac hired me, so not much convincin’ to it. Erm.. 'scuse me a sec.” I shake my head to dislodge the accent. “Anyways, Applejack passed out and with me here to handle the WORK," -thud-, "Big Mac took her to the house for a NAP," -thud-, "I hope she doesn’t always act like this.”

Twilight is watching me work with a strange, almost sad look. When she sees me floating the baskets over to the cart, she looks surprised then annoyed. “Let me guess. Big Mac doesn’t trust magic with the farm work?”

“Contrary, actually. I have problems with overly complex levitation. Things get a little bit… well, completely engulfed in flames.” I reply with a sheepish grin.

She is clearly shocked, “Pyromancy is an incredibly difficult school of magic, and you do it on accident?”

I gesture a hoof at my cutie mark and manifest two swords of flame. They take a surprised step back at the sight. “My special talents are pyromancy, aeromancy and kicking flank. So what was up with the pink one anyways? Is she really shy?” I smirk knowing exactly what’s going on, but playing the part of not having a clue.

Twilight looks confused for a moment. “The pink one? Oh that was Pinkie Pie. My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“I’m Rarity,” She is watching me work and seems a little annoyed. Probably either because I'm filthy or because my mane and coat color choices were unsightly. How should I know? I'm colorblind.

“I’m Rainbow Dash! Fastest flyer in Equestria!” She hovers when she says this and does a hyperspeed circle around me to prove her point.

I look at Fluttershy, who is hiding behind Twilight. I pick up an apple in my levitation and focus on it creating a baked apple. Floating it over to her she smells the scent of baked apple and steps out in front of Twilight to grab it.

“I’m Coyote, it’s nice to meet you..?”

Noticing I'm addressing her, she falls on her haunches and looks away, “...”

Do I pretend I could hear that or try and get her to say it clearly? “Whenever you feel like it, you can tell me your name. I know I’m a scary little monster,” I say gently and a little sadly.

She looks at me with panicked wide eyes, “Oh gosh, no. I’m sorry. My name is Fluttershy. You're not a monster. Even if you are big, and have intense eyes like a predator, and fire like…" she squeaks, "dragon!” Looking suddenly terrified of me again, she darts off into the sky. I sigh and grab the cart, pushing it to the barn as the others follow me.

“So, what are you in Ponyville for?” Twilight is trying to respark the conversation that fizzled at the failed attempt to get Fluttershy to warm up to me.

“No idea, I just came to this world. Got dropped in the middle of the Everfree, smack dab in a timber wolf den. I made a wish for an interesting life where I could actually have fun and make friends. Now, I’m here.”

“You traveled across the multiverse?” She looks interested.

“Omniverse, actually. I come from a non parallel world where even the laws of physics are different. I wasn’t even a pony before. Sorry, but I’m not going into too much detail about a lot of things until I talk to Celestia and Luna.”

A look of annoyance flits across the three ponies' faces. “Oh, right. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Anyways, I’ve got a lot of forbidden knowledge in my head and a lot of what I have to say should be restricted. I feel bad for anypony who tries to read my mind.”

Twilight looks confused, and I continue holding my voice in a spooky tone. “For example; Soon will come a day when a friend of Loyalty comes to Ponyville. Not all will be as it seems, and friends divided will be inevitable. Loyalty will choose between time and Laughter and light will fade.”

They look at me worried. Dash gets angry and shakes a hoof at me. “What was that about me? What are you saying, huh?”

I smile. “Don’t worry, Dash. I’ll make sure it works out better than it was supposed to. I can’t say anything about the future, but I can change it with the strength of my heart and the power of my will.”

“Well, you're an interesting one, ain’t ya? What happened to that accent?” Applejack has shown up behind me, looking a ton better. Did she recover completely with a 30 minute nap?

“When I’m talking to somepony with an accent, mine tends to slip out. I’ve lived a lot of places and have several accents that I've picked up. You’re looking better, AJ. So I take it you remember my name now?”

She nods and joins me in applebucking. “Coyo, you sure got the hang of this fast. Now enough yappin, we got an orchard to harvest.”

I smirk, “Nopony ever called me that but Velvet.”

She doesn’t respond as we work the orchard, and soon the sun starts to fall in the sky. Applejack hollers to me, “Coyote, git yer flank in here.”

I trot back to the barn and leave the apples in their respective barrels. She looks a little annoyed when I make it to the house. “We done already? Can’t say I mind, my hooves feel like they're on fire!” To punctuate this, I lift my right forehoof up and let it catch on fire. Big Mac laughs, but nopony else does. Seeing the looks of shock and the weird looks Big mac is getting, I put out my hoof. “My special talent is fire. It was a joke, I forgot that only Big Mac remembers that. Anyways I have to admit, I’m not used to the end of the day being so early.”

They gets surprised looks from around the table. “Early? It’s nighttime!” Applejack says with raised eyebrows.

“Ah’m used to workin' on the farm from sunrise till dew. Not to mention my last job ended at 3 in the mornin'.”

“But that only leaves 'round six to eight hours of sleep.”

I nod and sit at the table, “Ayup, a real farmer only needs four.”

Dinner is served and it is incredible. Surprisingly, hay burgers and hay fries are a lot tastier than they sound and the apple pie for dessert is absolutely incredible. “This pie is simply divine. It’s the best pie I’ve ever had the fortune of tasting!”

Granny thanks me, but Applejack looked surprised. “Ya'll sounded like Rarity for a moment there.”

“What can I say? I’m a stallion of the omniverse, I’ve picked up a few accents.” I say with a smirk.

“The what now?” Big Mac looks confused.

Surprisingly, Granny is the one who answers, “The omniverse is the collection of all the multiverses. It means he isn’t from around here, or this world. Actually, he ain’t even from a world like ours.”

I beam at her, “Granny I had no idea you knew omniverse theory. That’s awesome!”

She smiles at me, “It’s not like you know much about me really.”

I slip my voice into an Irish accent with a devilish grin, “Ah don't know aboot that one, gran. 'Tis a vast existence, and Ah know more than you'd think." My voice returns to normal. "I even know the ultimate fate of this world and what’s going to happen this Nightmare Night. Now I’ve created a butterfly effect, and as time goes on, my existence will alter reality and time is always a shifting thing anyways. So I can’t be as certain of the small things, but the big things are unmoving events in history.”

This announcement went over like a rock tied to a black matter balloon. Granny nods sagely, “Ah suspect you have some limits to how much your knowledge can interfere? What was your world like?”

“Bad. The inhabitants of my world will destroy themselves within a couple decades. I saw too much of the darkness and am jaded on this subject, but I only can name one person from my world worth saving. It’s up to her to come, but I suspect she will.”

They press me for more details about my world and my family, but I don’t answer them. Finally, Applejack asks a question I least expect: “So, who do Ah marry?”

I choke on the cider I was swallowing, “ACK! Ever heard of causality, AJ? Anyways, I have no idea, nor would I say if I did. But I have to admit, it was tempting to say Rainbow Dash or Rarity, just to watch your reaction.”

Her eyes go wide as her face contorts in rage, “Ah ain’t no fillyfooler!”

I smirk, “Like Ah said, it was just a joke. Find out who your destiny is on your own. Besides, I’m still trying to figure out what Equestria I’m in. Ah’ll have some questions to ask later to figure it out.”

“Now's as good a time as any, sonny,” Granny says with a smile.

I shake my head, “Not with the little one in the room.” They send her off to bed and I nod. “Alrighty, are ponies monogamous or polygamous?”

Applejack looks offended, “We are monogamous, what kind of question is that?”

“Not all Equestrias are. Some have this complicated herd structure thing. Is Scootaloo an orphan?”

“Yes, how do you know Scootaloo?”

“Omniverse and stuff, is there something socially wrong with being, as you put it, a fillyfooler?”

“What in tarnation?” Applejack is actually looking annoyed by this point.

“So it’s one of them where you have a temper problem. Let me explain the multiverse to you. There is an infinite amount of possibilities and realities, Applejack. There are even worlds parallel to this where everypony is gender swapped. There’s even several worlds where Pinkie is a mass murderer who bakes ponies into cupcakes.” I give her an evil smile, “There is even a reality where you and Rarity form a herd with a male version of Rainbow Dash named Spectrum Bolt and lay the egg that Spike comes from, which gets sent through time in a magical accident.” She scratches her head at this one, too confused to be angry. “Now, please answer the question.”

“Ah don’t reckon there's anythin' wrong with being a fillyfooler, Ah just ain’t one. They can’t get married an Ah intend to keep the Apple family tree spreadin'.”

“Alright, one more question. Is the ail pony's name Ditzy Doo or Derpy Hooves?”

“Who, Derpy? Her name is Ditzy Doo, but most folks call her Derpy. Ah think it’s a bit mean of them.”

“Alrighty, bonus question. Know somepony named Lyra?”

“Yeah, she’s a bit of a crazy one. Obsessed with anthropology and studyin' humans.”

“Got it. I’m in one of those Equestrias. Good to know.”

“If’n yer all set, it’s time for this granny to get some shut eye.” Granny leads me to a guest room and hands me a bag with 12 bits in it. I lay in the bed but despite the comfort, I can’t sleep. I walk outside silently, and sit staring at the moon. I can’t believe I’m actually here. I feel a pang of loneliness. A dark pony shape passes over the moon. Huh, must be a thestral, or is it not one of those Equestrias? I wave hello at the shape and it notices me. Turning and barreling down on me, I come to a quick realization of exactly who is coming. She lands, her long starry mane and tail flowing beautifully. I sense enormous power from her as she tucks in her wings and holds her horned head proudly.

“Greetings, Princess Luna, Bringer of the Moon. Please do not use the Canterlot voice. These hardworking farm ponies need lots of sleep during this season,” I say with a steep bow. Rising, I give her a smile. I can’t believe I’m actually meeting her!

“Greetings!” her voice still a shout.

I interrupt her, “Think stealth, m’lady.”

This time, her voice is quiet, yet still clear and commanding. “Why art thou here on the farm, staring onto the moon?”

Oh yeah, this is the pre-Nightmare Night Luna, “I’m not used to sleeping as early as ponies do. Besides, I’ve never seen a night like this. The absolute clarity of the sky is incredible.”

Her eyes become suspicious and her horn glows. I’m picked up in her aura, and I feel a strange needling sensation over my body. She tosses me back and I roll into a ready stance, “Speak, what art thou? What is that evil within thou’s heart?”

She is standing in a combat ready stance with her horn lit. The aura of extreme power coalesces and bears down on me. I can’t help but feel a twinge of desire at her display. A look of confusion passes over her face as she looks at my calm expression, “I am Coyote Harbinger. I am from a different world. Don’t read my mind, I possess forbidden knowledge that could crack the multiverse. Long story short? I wished to be sent to a world where I could be happy and make friends. Now I’m here. The evil inside is a scar from a battle I fought long ago in my world. I faced a mighty demon, and had no choice but to seal it in the only way I possessed, within myself.”

“Forbidden knowledge?” she asks, releasing her magic but still looking suspicious.

I sit on my haunches gazing up at the moon, “What state is Discord’s statue in?” I ask, quietly enjoying the gasp she makes.

“How does thou know of this? His prison was weakened by our return.”

“Bet you're not looking forward to it. Last time, even after you got the elements from the Tree of Harmony, he still stole your sister's tail. Albeit, the look on her face was kinda funny. Don’t give me that look, you are still the element of laughter, Luna. This time the world’s fate rests in the capable hooves of six young mares. I can’t tell you much about the future.” I drop my gaze and stare into her awestruck eyes as a small smile forms on my face, “But maybe we could discuss our future.”

She takes a step back and glares at me, “Art thou actually hitting on our royal self?”

I stand up and keep my calm gaze locked with her enraged one, “I prefer to call it taking a chance and trying to ask you to be my special somepony, but I suppose you can call it that. I believe that it’s far better to regret never having had a chance than it is to regret never knowing. Since I have asked you before we got to know each other better, we can still be friends without it being awkward.”

She loses her enraged expression and her look turns soft. “We shall see whether thou can be a good friend. Perhaps we can see each other as more. Thou art interesting and handsome, but we still question thou’s sincerity and strength.”

“So, how about a bet?” She looks interested, so I continue. “I’m going to go a round or ten with Ol’ Mix-and-match. If I can win, will you give me a chance? Just one date. You can decide whether we have another one.”

She snorts, “Thou and Discord? If thou can even survive a fight with him I shall indeed acknowledge your strength. However, we shall warn thee. Our sister will not approve, and thou will have to prove thyself to her as well.”

I smile broadly, “Wonderful! For now, if you're not busy, perhaps you could use some company? I know I could.”

We sit under the moon in silence for a few minutes. Unknown to me at the time, we are seen by a pair of eager little eyes. We speak about many things, she finds my display of fire magic interesting, and she teaches me some very advanced magical theory that will allow me to strengthen my innate power. It’s called cutie channeling, and it strengthens any magic based on your special talents immensely. She makes me swear not to tell anypony else ever, as it is the magical secret that allows her and her sister to control the celestial bodies.

The topics we cover are widespread. I feel relaxed and lay down next to her with my head on my hooves, eventually dozing off.

Author's Note

Author's Note:
So I decided to release a story without my editor looking it over, honestly do you guys really want her to have anything else distracting her from Another Wolfs Moon? It's 15 chapters behind right now. Anyways, if you know an editor who would like to help me out with this please drop me a link so I can get in touch.

Excuse me, you son of a blerp? You're not getting away with posting an unedited chapter. Actually, I was in the middle of editing chapter 2 when you so blatantly told me you posted this without me. So, I cancelled your publish request and edited it. Jerk. Dost thou dare ask another to edit thou work? Shunnnnnn..

I haven't done something aimed at comedy in a while, sorry if the comedy tag is a lie and I'm as funny as a dry sponge (I don't get the original phrase, wet sponges are fun. Have you ever checked a wet sponge at someone? It's like a reusable water balloon.)

Alright have a nice day and as always, Pinkie is watching you.

Editor's Note:
Pssshh.. He only wishes he were as suave as he came across in the beginning. Have you forgotten, Lord Farquad? (+50 points to anyone who gets the reference!) It is myself that possesses the talent of song. Mister "Look at me, I can do fire and fighting and singing and -redacted for spoiler-." You're lucky you get away with your Gary Stu characters. ;)