It was high noon in Canterlot, and in an obscure room of the royal palace, Princess Luna slept. She was protected only by two of her bat-winged guards at the entrance door, not that anyone would dare try to attack her.
She was not aware when a small tile from the bottom of the floor at the base of her bed slipped away, and a tiny intruder made its way into her royal chambers. Nor did she notice the tiny invader skillfully jump onto her royal bed without so much as ruffling the blankets, take the most valuable treasure in the room, and swiftly retreat back under the hole and move the tile back into place, removing any trace of the break-in.
Several hours later, one of her guards noted the golden glow on the horizon and opened the heavy double doors to remind the princess that it was time for her to raise the moon. The heavy creak of the double doors rang throughout the hallway and broke Luna's nap, causing the moon princess to sit up in her bed and rub her eyes. As she did, the guard notced something off about Luna.
Luna sensed the guard's confusion and, after a heavy yawn, tilted her head slightly to the side. “Black Boot, your eyes break troth. What is the matter?”
By now, Black Boot had realized what was wrong and pointed towards Princess Luna's head.
“Your majesty, when did you stop wearing your crown to bed?” he asked. Unlike Princess Celestia, Luna still had not dropped the habit, much to the chagrin of the maid and much to the delight of Canterlot's pillow-maker.
Luna was offended, and her face contorted into a frown. “Never!” she shouted defensively, "It is tradition to always wear the symbols of office! We would never...” she trailed off as she began patting her head with her hooves to confirm that the crown was there and only finding hair. Her eyes doubled in size, and she jumped out of bed to look into a grand mirror on the other size of the room. There, her fears were realized as she saw only her flowing hair and, upon it, a missing crown.
Luna gritted her teeth, and her eyes began to glow pure white with power. The room grew colder and darker, and an otherworldly mist floated throughout the entire chamber.
Black Boot took a few steps back and made one last effort to stop the incoming hurricane. “Your Majesty? It probably just rolled off your h—”
“I HAVE BEEN ROOOOOOOOOOOOBBED!”
The entire mountain that Canterlot was situated upon shook. The mirror, oddly enough, was not shattered under the force of her voice. Obliterated would have been a much better term, and when Luna was done screaming, most of the furniture in the room was either overturned or in splinters.
Even though Black Boot was pretty sure he was now deaf, he still tried to talk the princess out of her rage. It usually fell to Celestia to reason with her much more passionate sister, but since she had left Canterlot earlier that morning for a visit to Manehattan...
“Your Highness!” he shouted over the ringing in his ears, “If we could just look around, I'm sure—”
Luna stopped him mid-sentence by turning around and gazing upon him with manic determination in her radiant eyes.
“COME, BLACK BOOT, AND BRING LEATHER WING WITH YOU. WE SHALL FIND THIS ACCURSED ROBBER,” Luna commanded with her royal voice.
“But—”
“AND WHEN WE CATCH HIM, NO DOOM SHALL BE FAIR ENOUGH!”
Leather Wing, having learned to tune out Luna's powerful voice much better than Black Boot, peeked his head around the opened double doors only when he heard his name.
“Wait, what happened now?”
“Okay everybody, time for bed,” Fluttershy said as she blew out a candle. The various animals within Fluttershy's cottage skittered into their homes for a good night's rest. Angel was reading a book and was very annoyed that his reading light had been extinguished. Even though the book was as large as he was, he still managed to lower it and glared at Fluttershy, who smiled.
“That means you too, Angel.”
Angel kept the stare up for second before he sighed and closed the book, setting it on the floor. He knew he couldn't take Fluttershy in a straight-up staring contest, and even if he didn't show it, he was actually quite tired. Just as he was hopping over to his bed and Fluttershy began to walk upstairs, a flurry of tiny desperate knocks assaulted the door to the cottage.
“Ah!” Fluttershy jumped a meter high and instantly sank low to the floor. She shivered there for a second before gathering up the courage to answer. “W—who is it?” No answer. It was dark now, and no sane pony would be out at this hour, especially so close to the Everfree Forest.
Another series of knocks came against the door, even more furious than the last. Fluttershy looked at Angel, who said nothing and snuggled himself tighter into his bed.
Slowly, very slowly, Fluttershy crawled towards the door as the knocks became louder and faster. By the time she reached it, the knocking had almost become a hum. She stood there a moment longer before opening the door only a crack, to see who was outside. When she did, a white blur screamed past her legs, startling her and causing her to slam the door.
“Oh my!” she exclaimed as she began looking all around the room to see where the blur had gone, and having no luck, took the candle she had put out only a few minutes ago and re-lit it, making rounds in her small cottage as she held the candle tray in her mouth.
Angel followed her, partly for moral support and mostly because the racket had rendered him wide awake, something he made very apparent by angrily stomping his fuzzy feet behind the yellow pegasus.
Once around the room produced no results, and she began to make her way back to her bedroom to search there. Just as she had placed her first hoof on the staircase, a very loud and very clear throat clearing sounded behind her.
Every hair on Fluttershy's back stood on end, and with pure terror she turned her head to no doubt see the hundred rows of teeth and glowing red eyes of the monster that was about to eat her.
Instead, she found a small white bunny slightly larger than Angel standing in the middle of the room, arms folded. In fact, he looked exactly like Angel, save three important details. The first was the carrot that hung in his mouth, fat end out so it appeared as if he was smoking it. The second was his tiny black vest, which seemed to have little pockets on each side, to store even tinier belongings. The third was his left eye, which possessed a long scar going down the middle, covered by an eye patch.
As Fluttershy remained silent and dumbfounded at the nature of this new rabbit, Angel slowly hopped over to the grizzled bunny.
What happened next defied Fluttershy's comprehension. Angel, looking shocked, rapidly and with purposeful punctuation, tapped his foot in what appeared to be Morse code in the direction of the one-eyed lagomorph, who in turn replied with a slower but no less meaningful series of thumps and taps with his own foot. This went back and forward for a while, until Fluttershy felt the need to interject.
“Angel?” she asked timidly as he was in the middle of another Morse sentence. His ears perked and he stopped, looking at Fluttershy almost as if he forgot she was there. “Do you know him?”
Angel nodded and hopped towards Fluttershy and began a serious of pantomimes. He lifted his paw.
“First word...,” Fluttershy said, now intent on finding out Angel's relation to this warlike cottontail.
Angel pointed towards his counterpart.
“Bunny?” Fluttershy answered. Angel blinked once and then pinched the brow of his pink nose with his paw, and pointed towards the other rabbit several more times.
“Um. He?” Fluttershy guessed again. Angel nodded, and then pointed towards himself. Fluttershy began to catch on. “You?” Angel nodded again, moving on to a clock imitation that he had performed to Fluttershy once before.
“Time!” she said. Angel put his paws close together to tell her she was close and shifted into another charade. He stooped over and began walking with a shambling gait, sucking in his own mouth to give the impression that he had no teeth, and held one out paw, clutching an imaginary cane.
Fluttershy thought for a second. “Old?” she asked. Angel, in response, stooped even lower and his movements became even shakier. “Older?” she corrected, and Angel instantly broke out of his act and nodded, moving on to the fourth word.
He looked off and tapped his foot, thinking of how to convey the next word. After giving it some thought, something on a nearby desk caught his attention. He ran towards it and quickly climbed it, grabbing a picture frame that had been set upon it. Almost as quickly he ran back, setting it down in front of Fluttershy.
It was a picture of all her friends, plus Shining Armor and Cadence, taken at the royal wedding. Angel pointed towards Shining Armor, and then to Twilight Sparkle.
“BBFF?” she asked. Angel to give her an annoyed grimace. Fluttershy thought about it a second more. “Oh!” she exclaimed, now understanding the meaning of his connection between the two ponies, “Brother! Is it brother?” Angel nodded, and ran behind Fluttershy to put the picture back in place. As he did, Fluttershy began to string the words together.
“He—You—Older—Brother,” she mumbled. She gasped at her revelation. As Angel came back from setting the picture, Fluttershy translated the meaning: “He's your older brother?”
Angel smiled and jumped in the air only to be stopped when his brother grabbed his leg and forcibly set him back down on the floor. He rubbed his bottom but otherwise did nothing to avenge the injustice.
Fluttershy leaned down to Angel.“Angel Bunny? I'm happy that your brother's visiting, but—” She looked at Angel's brother, who shifted the carrot to the other side of his mouth. “Why is he visiting now, and so late?”
As soon as the question escaped her mouth, a bolt of lighting crashed outside very close by. The entire cottage rocked and Fluttershy nearly jumped out of her fur. Angel looked back at his older sibling, who shook his head as if he was disappointed.
That lightning bolt was strange; there weren't any scheduled thunderstorms for the next month. A second bolt struck outside, and Fluttershy walked up to the window to take a peek as a third etched across the sky. Against the brilliant flash, Fluttershy was sure she could make out three ponies. One looked slightly bigger than the other two and appeared to be moving much more erratically.
Another lighting flash came, and she caught a much better glimpse of the three ponies. Two were bat-winged ponies in strange black armor. In front of them was—it couldn't be. In front of them was Princess Luna, who had one hoof on her forehead and was surveying the ground, whipping her head at wildly different angles as if she was desperately searching for something.
Suddenly the moon princess changed direction and much sooner than Fluttershy expected, the princess and her two guards were directly over her house. While she couldn't see them, she could hear them.
“Your Majesty,” one voice said, “the thief couldn't have made it this far.”
“Yeah,” said the other, “we didn't even check any of the pawn shops in Canterlot.”
“SILENCE!” Luna ordered, “THE THIEF IS NEAR. WE CAN FEEL IT. LEATHER WING, BLACK HOOF, BOTH OF YE WILL SCOUR THIS HALF OF THE SHIRE, AND WE SHALL TAKE THE OTHER. THE STATE SHALL NOT BE MADE A FOOL-BORNE BY SOME VULGAR MALEFACTOR!" and with a mighty whoosh the princess was off.
“So, Black Boot, where should we start?” one of the guards asked, oblivious to their eavesdroppers.
“Hm. How about the edge of the forest? Criminals like to hide there sometimes, and they never go farther in.” Black Boot responded.
“Sounds like a plan.” Leather Wing replied, and two more whooshes sounded off as Fluttershy was left staring at the ceiling.
“Oh my,” she muttered. Having become so engrossed in listening to the exchange between Luna and her guards, she had almost forgotten about the two rabbits still in her room, and glanced towards them. It appeared that the older brother was now walking around, surveying the house, with Angel following him. Not wanting to be a poor host, she walked up to the older bunny with a smile.
“Mr. Rabbit?” she asked, and Angel's brother turned to her. He didn't seem angry, but still gave her a glance that rivaled The Stare. “Well, it's good that you're here and all, but I don't think I ever learned your name.”
The rabbit began to dig in one of his side pockets, and pulled out an almost microscopic pencil and paper. He scribbled something and handed it to Fluttershy, who had to put the note on the floor and almost place her eyeball on it to make out the tiny writing.
“Your name is...Cherub?” she said, and looked up to him. He nodded. She smiled in some hopes of getting anything other than a passive scowl from him. “Oh, I think that's a beautiful name!”
Cherub lowered his eyebrows, made an irritated grunt, and resumed his study of Fluttershy's house. Fluttershy now walked behind him, wondering if this cruel-looking rabbit had anything to do with Luna's sudden appearance.
“Um, Mr. Cherub?” she asked, and he quickly spun around with clenched paws, his lone eye slightly twitching.
“Oh, I just wanted to know why you're here and all. I mean, Angel never told me he had any siblings.”
Cherub continued to stare. Even so, Fluttershy gulped and found the strength to ask. “Er, did you, and I don't mean to imply anything, but—the princess, earlier. Did you have anything to do with that?”
Cherub then turned to Angel. Not finding an answer with his brother, he switched the carrot back to the other side of his mouth, and started digging for something behind his back. A second later he found it, and pulled out a small black crown, one Fluttershy recognized as Princess Luna's.
“Oh no!” she shouted, “You didn't steal that, did you?”
Cherub gave no response and put the crown away. Angel looked just as shocked as Fluttershy did, and began a rapid fire of worried coded thumps. Eventually Angel's foot became tired, and he had to rest a moment. When he did, Cherub seemed to give a very short reply, tapping his foot only a few times.
Fluttershy began pacing. “Oh no. If you stole the crown, and if you're here, Princess Luna will come here, and she'll find you, and—” Fluttershy began running scenarios through her head, and each one ended with her either going to jail for harboring a fugitive or meeting her fate at the hooves of a raging lunar goddess. In the distance, she heard a frustrated scream, followed by another bolt of lightning.
“You're not really going to stay here, are you?” she asked Cherub, who had pulled out a tiny piece of chalk and was sketching something on her cottage floor.
He worked with amazing pace, and in a few quick strokes he was finished. Fluttershy stood over him to look at his drawing, which appeared to be a map. On the top was a stylized drawing of Canterlot, and above it was a shining crown which had been circled, obviously the crown he had stolen. There was then a line going to what seemed to be a drawing of Fillydelphia, although the city and route to there had been scribbled out. Instead, a second line to Ponyville had been drawn, with a cartoon version of Angel above it, which was also circled.
“So you were going to escape to Fillydelphia, but thought your brother's home would be safer?” she questioned. Cherub, once again, gave no answer and rubbed the drawing out with his foot. Once he did, he yawned, and began making his way toward Angel's nook.
“I'm sorry,” she explained, “I like animals. I really do. But if they find you here they'll think I helped you and—”
Her words fell on deaf ears, as Cherub had already taken Angel's bed as his and fallen asleep, leaving his brother without any place of his own. She looked at Angel, who made an exasperated gesture towards Cherub, asking Fluttershy to do something about his most sacred space being annexed.
She picked up Angel and put him on her back. “You can sleep on my bed, Angel. I guess one night wouldn't hurt. He is family, after all.”
With a defeated sigh, she walked back upstairs, trying as best she could to ignore the lightning outside.
Fluttershy awoke to what sounded like the apocalypse happening downstairs. She leaped out of bed, a thousand scenarios going through her head of what was happening. Was the house collapsing? Celestia forbid, did a predator from the Everfree somehow get inside her home? Angel had been thrown off the bed and had little choice but to stay right behind her.
She stopped when she hit the bottom stair. There, in the middle of the room, were two of Luna's guard, unconscious and hogtied together. Cherub was standing on top, dusting off his paws. Angel squeaked; Fluttershy wasn't sure if it was in horror or anger.
"Oh no!" Fluttershy cried, "What did you do!?"
"The best chaos-ing I've seen in a while!"
Fluttershy jumped. Sitting on the couch on the other side of the room was Discord, with 3D glasses and a bag of popcorn. He tosses a kernel towards his mouth, missing. Without missing a beat his snapped his claw and teleported next to Fluttershy.
"Discord!" Fluttershy scolded, "Remember that talk we had about breaking into somepony's house?"
The spirit of chaos laughed. "Oh, Fluttershy, you haven't seen this guy in action! He's a walking disaster area!"
Cherub was unenthused with Discord's praise, having already walked back over to Angel's bed and gone back to sleep.
"What did he do to those two poor guards?"
With another snap, Discord disappeared. He emerged a second later carrying a movie projector, which he set to hover in the middle of the room. He hit it once, and the reels started to turn.
A black-and-white recollection of events played before them, with Discord providing the narration. It began with a sleeping Discord in a makeshift hammock on the edge of the Everfree.
"I was getting my beauty sleep when I was rudely interrupted by a freak thunderstorm."
A flash of light surrounded the sleeping Discord, who jumped out of his hammock and hit the ground below. He sat back up rubbing a large knot on his head, looking at the sky. He looked up to see Princess Luna circling the skies, lightning clouds and howling gales surrounding her.
"Princess Luna was steamed! I hadn't seen her that mad in, ever!"
The movie cut back to black-and-white Discord, who was now stroking his chin.
"I thought to myself, whoever could make Luna this mad was a master at his craft."
The movie cut to Luna's guards walking up the path to Fluttershy's cottage. Discord floated above and behind them, making stupid faces at the oblivious ponies.
"So, I tailed her guards to see how this would turn out. And when they got the door—"
One of the guards lifted a hoof to knock, only for the door to fly open. The guards both leaned in to the darkness of the cabin. A second later, Cherub rocketed out of the darkness, delivering a series of bicycle kicks to the guard in front. The pony collapsed and Cherub spun around in mid-air to headbutt the second guard, who went down as quickly as the first.
Cherub landed and dragged them both inside and tied them together with a piece of string from one of his tiny pockets.
The movie projector caught on fire and exploded in a poof of magic, ceasing the film. "And that brings us up to speed!"
Angel tapped his foot several times with his arms folded.
Discord raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'he got the brawn, but I got the good looks?'"
"He—Cherub is Angel's brother."
"Well, that explains the resemblance."
Discord teleported himself on top of the defeated guards.
"And if you don't mind me saying, Angel—"
With a wave, Discord pulled Cherub out of bed and into his hand. Cherub's bloodshot eye opened. He held up his head and in a look of utter contempt, reared back a paw.
"Mr. Cherub here got the good looks, too."
Cherub hit Discord straight in the jaw, causing his entire body the shake from the impact. The thud from the blow echoed through the entire house and an eerie silence followed.
Discord turned his neck and laughed. "Ha! You punch like a g—"
His pupils began to roll inside his eyeballs like a slot machine. His left eye stopped on a 'K', and his right on a 'O'. He fell limp, hitting the floor with a thud, tongue rolled out of his mouth.
The out-cold Discord still clutched Cherub in his grasp, who was currently attempting to free himself.
Angel was trying his hardest not to laugh himself to death and remembered that Fluttershy had just seen the whole event transpire. He turned around expecting Fluttershy to either be working up The Stare or cowering in the corner, but instead saw the pegasus was frozen in shock, mouth agape.
He jumped up onto Fluttershy's head and waved his paw in front of her face for a reaction. Nothing. He looked back up to see his brother in the process of freeing himself from Discord's grip.
A hard knock came at the door. Fluttershy snapped out of her paralysis, shaking her head.
"Who is it?" she asked on reflex.
A regal voice answered. "Fluttershy? Friend of Twilight? If it would please you, We would like to inquire something of you for a moment."
Fluttershy looked back down to the beat-up guards, with Discord splayed out on top of them. The draconequus' grasp was firm; Cherub was still struggling. If Luna saw that and realized Cherub stole her crown, and she was harboring him...
She wasn't feeling up to the task of meeting her fate at the hooves of a raging lunar goddess, so she opted to just not let Luna see the inside of her house. They could talk outside, right?
Luna waited for Fluttershy to open the door. This had been the first time since her crown was stolen that she'd been in a state of relative calm and she was finally able to reflect on her thoughts. Up until that point, she had only reflected on bringing the perpetrator to gruesome justice, but as her blood began to cool, she thought that perhaps she might be slightly lenient of the thief. Maybe only thirty for forty years in the dungeon when they were caught.
The door creaked open slightly and the princess could see Fluttershy's eyes in the slit. "Princess Luna? Um, what are you doing out so late?"
"As you can see by our head's naked status, our crown is missing; stolen. We suspect that the thief may be lurking around the edges of the Everfree."
Fluttershy's eyes shifted. "Oh, how—horrible!"
"Indeed. Have you seen anything queer? Any bandits or roving pawn brokers?"
"Nope! I'll be sure to let you know!"
One of the unconscious guards groaned, loudly.
"What was that? It sounded like Leather Wing."
"Oh, just some sleeping badgers. They snore really loud, you know."
Luna narrowed her eyes. "...May We come inside?"
"Well, you see, badgers really need their sleep and—"
Luna didn't wait for a reply before her horn glowed and an aura of magic opened the heavy door. Fluttershy ducked out of the way as Luna stepped inside, hunkering down for whatever Luna would do to her.
"Discord," Luna hissed, "We should have known."
Fluttershy took in a breath of air to interject, but Luna just held up a hoof.
"No need to explain, citizen," she said. "Obviously Discord retreated here because he believed that you would offer him some kind of protection, and my two brave guards sacrificed themselves to defeat him."
"Meeefeellfunrrmgghh..." Discord mumbled.
Luna looked back at Fluttershy, pointing as Discord. "See? The trickster admits it. And that hare he holds in his grasp. An innocent victim of his machinations."
At that moment, Cherub wrestled himself free from Discord.
The events after seemed to play in slow motion. Cherub flew through the air, limbs waving wildly. He hit the ground with a thud, bouncing on the floor. His carrot dropped out of his mouth and rolled off into a corner.
The crown fell off of Cherub's person and landed in front of Luna.
The princess looked at rabbit, then back at the crown, then at the rabbit again. The pieces clicked and the cottage began to snap and crack under the princess' magical pressure.
"You." Luna growled. Sparks filled her eyes and they went white, her mane taking on an almost otherwordly darkness. Cherub took a step back, his eyes going from Luna to the crown.
Luna bellowed and dove at Cherub in a blind fury. He deftly dodged the princess's tackle and jumped off her head, landing behind her and snatching up the crown. Luna was so consumed with anger that she stumbled and fell trying to turn around, which only made her even more enraged.
With surprising speed Cherub bounded down the pathway and towards the Everfree Forest, crown held above his head. The princess screamed and took flight as she cleared the doorway, launching magical bolts of lightning that seared wherever they hit, Cherub deftly dodging each one.
Fluttershy and Angel ran to the open door to see Luna and Cherub disappearing into the flora of the Everfree, the white explosions that could be seen over the treetops indicating that the alicorn was still giving chase.
"Angel, do you have any other siblings I should know about?"
Princess Luna stomped around the Everfree Forest, having lost track of her prey. Still, she knew he had to be within earshot.
“IF YOU RESIGN NOW,” she stated with the full authority of her voice, “WE SHALL BE MERCIFUL AND DEGRADE YOUR PUNISHMENT TO DEATH!”
As Luna ranted, she took little notice of her own surroundings. When she walked in front of one particular tree, Cherub let go of the branch he had been holding back, which whipped forward and slapped Luna in the face. Luna let forth a barrage of magic where Cherub had been a split second ago, and the tree exploded, sending wood pulp everywhere. Cherub landed on Luna's head and stomped it a few times before hopping off and sprinting away, Luna close behind.
Cherub's luck finally ran out when he was chased to the edge of a cliff, with a raging river many hundreds of feet below. He was still clutching the crown as he turned around to see the toothy grin of Luna.
“YOU HAVE NOT A TRICK LEFT, WEE THIEF.”
Luna took one step forward, and Cherub one step back. He looked over the edge of the cliff, and having no more options, closed his eyes and jumped into the ravine. Luna watched his fall and splash into the current and did not see him resurface. She stood there for a moment, her power slowly subsiding and her eyes returning to normal.
“Thou wanted our crown, and now thy hast it.” she said coldly before walking away.
Fluttershy felt horrible when she saw Luna emerge from the Everfree Forest without Cherub. Luna seemed much less angry now, almost placid. The pegasus tried to come up with a million different explanations as to why Cherub had been with her.
“Didst thou know the hare carried our crown?” she asked.
Fluttershy averted her eyes. “Well, not at first. He just sort of barged in and wouldn't leave.”
“We see. And what of our guards? Did you assist in their ruination?”
“No, he knocked them out himself. Discord, too.”
“Hmmmm.”
Luna picked up the guards and Discord with her magic, carrying them outside. As she prepared to fly away, he gave a backwards glace towards Fluttershy. “We will forgive your apparent brotherhood with the furry wastrel if you do not mention this business to our sister. She does love to lecture us on our impatience.”
Luna then flew away with both guards on her back, and just like that Fluttershy was off the hook.
Princess Celestia was busy sorting through the mail from various mayors and ponies of importance when she found a rather unusual piece of postage: a very small, slightly damp envelope. She set the others aside and opened it, only barely able to make out the cramped, smeared writing.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I hate you. You told me that when I stole Luna's crown, the new one would have already arrived for her birthday before she woke up and I could do whatever I wanted with the old one.
WELL GUESS WHAT. IT DIDN'T. I HAD TO SLEEP LIKE AN ANIMAL IN MY BROTHER'S DISGUSTING HOUSE AND YOUR SISTER FOUND ME ANYWAY AND ALMOST KILLED ME.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS THERE ARE IN THE RIVERS OF THE EVERFREE THAT WANT TO EAT YOU? A LOT.
Anyway, I don't think I can show my face around Canterlot for a while, at least when your sister's there. All the same, awaiting your next assignment.
Your humble servant, Cherub.
P.S. I need a new carrot
Celestia smiled at her spymaster's unceasing loyalty, and at the same time made a mental note to never again be cheap on shipping.
