The Adventures of Cross Dark: Multiverse

by Matoal

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 1459

The adventures of jerk pegasus Cross Dark as he travels through time and space, screwing with anypony he meets.

Side/sequel to Don't Eat the Mushroom and In Need of Repair, but you don't need to read those to get this. If you can get this that is.

It's been a long time since the Second Demon, Dark bothered to cause mayhem and chaos. He misses the time he was evil and could get away with things like death and destruction (He still can, but he's reverted to the side of good, or at least as good as he could be so it's not as fun anymore).

To remedy this, Dark decides to travel to other worlds and screw with the ponies he meets.

To put it simple, this story is about an OC, who travels dimensions and screwing with reality in his own twisted ways.

Rated T for language, and Dark being an sexist racist jerk.

[size=0.5em]Art by me[/size]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-09 13:50:04 UTC

Introduction; Dark in a little village

A tall black pegasus smiled as saw a small village in the distance. He had green eyes and was incredibly thin to the point where his ribs were showing. He coughed and started beating his chest. He coughed up a crumpled up sheet of paper. He picked it up, straightened it out and read through it. "Equestria #435. Twilight Sparkle unavailable. Help this village. Lethal force not allowed." He frowned and shoved the paper back in his mouth. "That sucks." He complained as he chewed. "I thought the point of a vacation was to unwind. Instead I get more work. I wanted to to hell and hang with the succubi." He sighed and walked up to to the village.  "This better not suck."

"Welcome!" All the ponies said to to the pegasus when he entered the village. The further in he went, the more annoying he felt it was getting. He tried his best to ignore them all, but he couldn't when he saw those creepy smiling faces and all of them having the same cutie mark. He stopped and looked around. "Who's in charge here?" As if on cue, the door to the house at the end of the road opened, revealing a a pink mare with a purple mane.

"Welcome!" She said happily, causing the pegasus to grind his sharp teeth together from hearing that word again. "I'm so pleased to have you here. My name is Starlight Glimmer." She said walking up to him.

The pegasus cleared his throat and replied, "And my name is Cross Dark. Second of the Four Kings in my homeland."

Starlight's smile widened. "Oh, a king. We don't get many of those around here."

Dark shrugged. "It's no big deal. At least not as far as I could see."

"So," Starlight started, "how did you hear of our little village?"

Dark inwardly groaned and tried to resist the urge to eat the mare in front of him out of fear her happiness might be contagious. "My mother suggested I go on vacation, and after wandering around for a few days, I found this place. In fact, she kinda wanted me to find this place specifically."

"Well, however you found us, we're happy to have you. We're happy to have anypony who wants to experience true friendship for the first time."

Dark shuddered and tried not to vomit. "Sorry, but I'm not really into friendship. I mean, I have friends, but I'm not a believer of that 'friendship is magic' schtick. And these ponies. There's something about them that I can't put a hoof on."

Starlight waved her hoof, showing off the village. "That's what's unique about our village. Around here, we don't flaunt our special talents, because we don't have any."

Dark smiled for the first time since entering the village. "So you all have the equal cutie mark to symbolize that. That makes sense." He looked around at the ponies surrounding them. "So everypony here's the same. Nopony's better than the other."

Starlight nodded. "Of course. That's the only way true friendship can blossom. If you're better than anypony else at something, that eventually leads to jealousy. And that can break up your friendship. But if you're the same, then you have no reason to be jealous of them in the first place."

Dark yawned, making sure to keep his mouth covered with his hoof. "I like that. This sounds like a nice vacation spot if the locals are so friendly. Do you mind if I hang out here a while."

Starllight got close to Dark, and while he enjoyed contact from mares, she unsettled him. "Of course not. Please enjoy your stay. I'm sure you'll come to love it just as much as we do. Double Diamond, please help our guest with anything he'll need."

A white earth pony walked up to Dark and said, "Of course." Dark looked into Double Diamonds eyes. 'This stallion is so fucking gay.' he thought to himself.

As Starlight walked away, her smile took on a more sinister turn."A king. If he were to join our village, then all of Equestria could see how great true equality is."

Dark looked at Starlight while she walked away and grinned. 'A cute mare.' He thought. 'If she were to join my other mares...' He frowned. 'I'd probably end up sleeping on the couch again.'

Dark sat outside a bakery. While he walked through around, more ponies were smiling and welcoming him, which angered him more and more every time he heard that word. He sat outside a bakery, hoping that some food would help him cool down. "These ponies are freaking scary." He said to himself. " He looked at the building surrounding him and frowned. Each one was exactly the same. A mare approached Dark. He rose an eyebrow as he looked her over. Unlike the other mares in the village, she didn't unnerve him. Of course to Dark, that usually leads to something uncomfortable.

"Welcome." She said. And there it was. "My name is Sugar Belle. What can I get you? We have muffins."

Dark chuckled and asked, "Am I being punked? Only muffins? I guess I'll take three." Sugar Belle nodded and walked inside. Dark sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Way to go, work. Send me to the creepiest part of the universe." He muttered. He smiled ad licked his lips. "I'll be happy to get back home and spend time with-" Dark cut himself off when Sugar Belle put a plate of muffins in front of him. He grinned nd grabbed one. When he took a bite, his eyes widened. He slowly stopped chewing and swallowed. He stared wide eyed at the muffin in front of him, causing Sugar Belle to frown.

"I know." She said. "I'm not a good baker." She smiled again. "At least not better than anypony else in the village."

Dark laughed and shook his head. "You're still better than me." This got a smile out of Sugar Belle.  "I can't cook worth hell. That's why I usually eat out of garbage cans. Better than what I cook." And that got her to try to not gag. Dark shrugged and looked at her. "So tell me this. If I gave up my cutie mark like you, how would that be better?" He looked downat his cutie mark, a broken mirror. "You'd still be a better baker than me. And I have various physical, mental, and emotional illnesses. How would that be equal if I'm handicapped and you're not?" Sugar Belle frowned and looked away. Dark stood up and pet her head. "A little bit of thought." He looked out the corner of his eye and noticed double Diamond staring at him. "Now, if you'll excuse me." He started walking to Double Diamond, who waved.

"Welcome. Is there anything I can help you with?" Diamond asked with what Dark decided to call the smile of a thousand creeps.

Dark shook his head. "No." He grinned and started gently stroking Diamond's cheek. "But maybe I can help you." He said in a sultry voice. Before Diamond could even take in what was going on, Dark brought his hoof down hard against Diamond's. There was a loud cracking sound, and Diamond was on the ground screaming as he held his now broken foreleg. All the ponies in the village gasped and ran to surround the two, Dark glared down at Diamond and spit on him. "No homo." He looked around at the shocked ponies and laughed. "What? Isn't there a doctor? Oh right. No special talents, nopony to specialize in helping him out." He shrugged and grinned. "Equality sucks, doesn't it."

"What's going on here?" Starlight asked walking to the front of the crowd. She gasped when she saw Diamond on the ground, his foreleg bending the wrong way.

Dark smiled and waved to her. "Welcome." He said cheerfully. "I don't like the feeling of having gay stalkers. And I was bored. Also I'm angry that my vacation had turned into work."

Starlight stared at Diamond for a few moments, letting what Dark said sink in. She glared at him. "We let you in our little village, accept you as a guest, and even invite you to join, and you break his leg?!" She screamed.

Dark shook his head. "Not only that, but I was thinking of taking that Sugar Belle back to my cave. She's a good cook, and she's adorable." He narrowed his eyes and grinned. "More than you. Were's your fucking equality now, bitch?" He frowned and looked around. "Now I'm hungry again." He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings and didn't notice Starlight pulling out a two pronged staff.