Pony Kombat

“Our first Kombatant will be Mr. Armor,” Sunset Shimmer announced. Shining Armor tried to look cool for Cadence, but Cadence just turned away.

“That’s right, that’s right!” Shining Armor bragged. “Who’s it gonna be?” He looked around at the other Kombatants.

“Spike!” Sunset Shimmer said. The audience began to clap. From the top of a nearby roof, Spike, a pony-sized dragon who stood on his back feet, appeared and jumped in front of Shining Armor, which was a far distance.

“Nice stunt,” Shining Armor commented, clearly impressed. “Who’s your agent?”

“Begin!” Sunset Shimmer yelled out. Shining Armor was ready.

“All right!” he exclaimed. “It’s show time!” Shining Armor and Spike got into a fighting position and began to fight. Shining Armor started things off quickly with some fast punches and kicks. Spike immediately retaliated with some hits of his own. But Shining Armor quickly overpowered Spike and knocked him to the ground, and Spike didn’t get up.

“He got owned!” Shining Armor cried out. “That’s it! Ha-ha! Oh yeah. I am so pretty.” Twilight Sparkle shook her head in disgust. Shining Armor pointed at other Kombatants and bragged.

“And I’m taking you down, I’m taking you down, I’m taking you out, I’m taking you out,” then he pointed at Cadence. “And I’m taking you out for dinner.” Then he chuckled. But Cadence just groaned with disgust.

“Now for your second challenge Mr. Armor,” Sunset Shimmer announced. “Zecora!” Zecora, a Changeling Kombatant with pointed teeth, jumped down from the same platform Sunset Shimmer’s throne was sitting on, again an impressive jump.

“Ok,” Shining Armor said. “Nice makeup, but is it really necessary?” As he said this, Zecora revealed two huge blades rested in her sides. Shining Armor was in amazement.

“They will taste your flesh!” Zecora taunted, and got into a ready position. Shining Armor did the same, and the fight began. At first, Shining Armor had trouble avoiding Zecora’s blades. But after switching up strategies and giving a little gift from his legs to Zecora’s gut, he knocked Zecora to the ground and won the fight.

“Man, I love those blades!” Shining Armor said, amazed. “My producer has got to meet you. We’re doing Pony Scissorfists, and…” But he was once again interrupted.

“Congratulations Mr. Armor,” Sunset Shimmer said. “Now finish her!”

“Finish her?” Shining Armor asked surprised. “Yeah right.”

“Kill her!” Sunset Shimmer wanted to see some blood spilled. Shining Armor looked around the courtyard at the other Kombatants. They were all looking at him, some slowly shaking their heads.

“Whoa,” Shining Armor said. “Whoa, whoa, wait a second. I’m not gonna kill anypony.” Sunset Shimmer was clearly not happy with this decision.

“Very well,” she said. Then she stood up. “The tournament will resume at dawn.” Then she and all of the other Kombatants walked out of the courtyard.

“What, that’s it?” Shining Armor questioned. “Really?” He was surprised how short that had lasted. “Now where’d that mare go?” Celestia and Twilight Sparkle walked up to Shining Armor.

“You fought well,” Celestia said.

“Thanks,” Shining Armor replied. Then he noticed Celestia’s straw hat. “Nice hat.” Twilight Sparkle took offense of this and confronted Shining Armor.

“You should be more respectful of Princess Celestia,” she said. “She is the protector of Equestria, and the Princess of Thunder.”

“Look, I don’t know what kind of roleplaying you ponies are into,” Shining Armor said. “But count me out.” Twilight Sparkle took even more offense from this.

“This tournament is more than a chance for personal glory.” She growled. “We are fighting for the very survival of Equestria!” Shining Armor was confused.

“What are you talking about?” he wondered.

“Your last opponent was Changeling,” Celestia informed. “She was born with those blades.” Shining Armor didn’t believe this.

“Yeah,” he said in defiance. “Those things are real.” Celestia continued.

“She represents Tartarus,” she said. “If you had lost, the Empress, Nightmare Moon, would have come one step closer from physically absorbing our world into hers.” But Shining Armor still didn’t believe Celestia.

“Tartarus,” he mocked. “Right, right.” Twilight Sparkle was just about fed up with Shining Armor.

“The Elder Gods created the Pony Kombat tournament to give Equestria a chance to defend itself,” Celestia tried to explain. “But if we lose this time, Nightmare Moon will conquer all.” Shining Armor ended Celestia’s sentence with “Da-da-daaa!” like someone in a movie had just explained something that was really bad.

“Look girls,” he explained. “I’m an actor. I save the world for the cameras. If this ‘Empress,’ is really a threat, call the military. Me? I’ve got a date with a mare. Ciao!” As Shining Armor walked away, Twilight Sparkle looked disgusted.

“What do you see in him?” she asked Celestia.

“He is a hero Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia answered. “Though he may not yet know it.” Twilight Sparkle felt as if this were extremely untrue. Was Celestia lying?

~~~

On one of the many bridges of the island’s spiked pit, Cadence was talking to her evacuation helicopter pilot.

“We know you want a signal for evac,” she said, her voice crackling with static. “But there’s no island.”

“I’m standing on it,” Cadence argued. “Just lock onto my wrist-com.”

“Ok,” the pilot agreed. “What is your current status?”

“They have Big Mac,” Cadence replied. “And if I don’t fight in this crazy tournament, they’ll kill him. I’m going to try to…” Shining Armor interrupted her.

“Need help?” he asked. “I specialize in rescuing ponies in distress.” Cadence sighed.

“You again,” she muttered. “Look, I’ve got serious problems here. I’m in no mood to be hit on by some movie star.”

“Come on,” Shining Armor said. “A pony like you shouldn’t be wandering around this freak show alone.” Cadence ignored him and walked in the direction Shining Armor had come from. Shining Armor grabbed her shoulder.

“Look,” he said. “I can’t let you run loose without an escort.” Cadence shrugged him off and kicked him in the chest. Then she kicked him in the face, sending him falling onto his back.

“I don’t need an escort!” Cadence said in anger. “And I’m sure as hell not your mare!” She got into a fighting position and Shining Armor, after he got up, did the same. Shining Armor and Cadence traded blows on the narrow bridge. Multiple times both of the fighters nearly fell of the edge. After a short battle, Shining Armor knocked Cadence to the ground.

“Ha-ha!” he said. “Not bad for a…” he paused. “…mare. Look, sorry about that.” Shining Armor reached out his hoof to help Cadence up, but Cadence slapped it away.

“I don’t need your help,” she raged.

“Fine,” Shining Armor said. “Have it your way. I’ll just leave you to your problems.”

“Good idea,” said a voice from behind Shining Armor. It was Vinyl. Vinyl picked up Shining Armor and threw him over the side of the bridge.

“Now that he’s softened you up,” Vinyl evilly sneered. “It’s my turn.” She walked up to Cadence.

“Not stallion enough for a fair fight?” Cadence asked.

“I don’t do fair,” Vinyl replied. Her mechanical eye was glowing with a red light. Shining Armor heard the voices. Somehow, he had miraculously grabbed a spike sticking out of the bridge’s side. He tried to pull himself back up, but he slipped and nearly fell to his death in the bloody pit.

“…couldn’t have done it without ya,” Vinyl sneered.

“S.F. is on the way,” Cadence said. “You won’t get far.”

“Oh I got a knack for survival,” Vinyl denied. “You on the other hoof, are gonna die here.” Right as she said that, Shining Armor leaped back onto the bridge.

“Step away from the mare,” he ordered. Vinyl gave him a sour look.

“Fans think my moves are all wirework and special effects,” Shining Armor said. “Truth is, I am the special effects.” Shining Armor and Vinyl engaged fighting positions and duked it out. Vinyl immediately tried throwing knives at Shining Armor, but Shining Armor easily avoided them. After that, it was all downhill for Vinyl. Shining Armor delivered numerous punches across Vinyl’s face, gave her some kicks to the gut, and finally hit her three times in the gut so hard that her pelvis cracked. Vinyl could not get up after that.

“Throw that on your…teacup…shrimp,” Shining Armor taunted, not very well.

“Thanks,” Cadence said.

“No problem,” Shining Armor replied. “Who is that mare anyway?” he reached out his hoof, but then remembering what Cadence had done earlier, pulled it back. But thinking that Shining Armor didn’t seem to be that bad of a stallion, Cadence reached her hoof out to let Shining Armor help her up.

“Her name’s Vinyl,” she said as Shining Armor helped her up. “She was an informant in our Black Stallion investigation. Big time arms dealers. Turns out she was their leader, giving us the runaround. A lot of our guys got killed because of her.”

“So that’s not a costume?” Shining Armor asked surprised. “You’re actual military?”

“Special Forces,” Cadence answered.

“Get out!” Shining Armor exclaimed. “So you know about this threat to the world stuff, right? Celestia called in the cavalry.”

“Celestia?” Cadence asked. “No idea who you’re talking about.” She turned around to find Vinyl gone.

“Damn!” she muttered.

“She couldn’t have gotten very far,” Shining Armor assured.

“She’ll have to wait,” Cadence said. “I appreciate your help Armor.”

“Shining Armor,” Shining Armor politely corrected.

“But right now I’ve got things to take care of,” Cadence said. “My C.O. is locked up on this island somewhere. I have to find him.” Then she left. Shining Armor grinned. He liked this mare’s no quit attitude.