Softer than he looks

by I_Am_Iron_Ore

Rating: teen
Tags: Big Macintosh, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 1791

You pet Big Mac.

You have been in Equestria for a year now. You decide to reminisce about your first encounter with the ponies who inhabit this world.

Published 2015-03-26 01:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-26 01:40:03 UTC

Soft

Softer than he looks

By I_Am_Iron_Ore

So you’ve been in Equestria for about a year now. When you first arrived, you acted like any other human would in a land of colorful talking equines with ass tattoos; You freaked the fuck out. Then came the stages of acceptance. Stage 1- Denial. Stage 2- Hysteria. Stage 3- Depression. Stage 4- Acceptance. It might have taken a good year, but you’ve finally embraced your new life. Now you never really liked many of these ponies, but you were a quirky guy. The first thought that came to your mind when you came here was ‘Can I pet that?’. So you go back to that memory, to the day you arrived.

You awake in a field. Opening your eyes was hard, everything was so bright and colorful it hurt. When you stood, the ground under you was soft. You were wearing your usual ensemble, Jeans, sneakers, t-shirt. The air was nice too. Alot warmer than you remember it to be. You start off in one direction, hoping to find someone to talk to.

You end up walking for about an hour before you see an apple orchard. It looked like people were recently here, considering the buckets full of apples underneath the trees.

“Hello?” You shout. “Anybody out here?”

You hear the sound of someone… or something, approaching you from behind. You spin around on your heels and stand to face what appears to be a work horse….. You think. It resembled a work horse, it kinda looked like one, too. There were a couple of differences though.

For starters, you were pretty sure it was a he. Second, He was a bit shorter than most horses, You were about a good foot taller than him. He had big green eyes too. Unnaturally big. He wasn’t normal horse colors, either- He was red with a dark blond mane. He had an odd picture of half of a green apple on his flanks too. To complete his look, he wore a large wooden yolk around his neck.

You do the logical thing and reach out your hand to let him smell you.

“Hi there buddy. I won’t hurt you.” You say in a soft and calming voice.

The Horse tilts his head a little but leans in and give your hand a quick sniff. Thinking he’s ok with you, you decide to pet him. You step a little closer and begin stroking his neck. He backs up and give you an odd look, but lets you continue when you move in for a second time. He tenses a little, but soon relaxes. Wow…. he is soft. He kinda feels like velvet, but warmer. It doesn't feel like any other horse hair you've felt before.

You soon find yourself entranced with gently rubbing your hand up and down his neck. You give him a couple pats and start reaching up a little to begin petting his mane. It feels a little different, but still silky soft to the touch. You switch to your right hand and scratch behind his ears. Its really soft back there. Soft like rabbit’s fur. Really soft. He closes his eyes and…. Smiles? Is he smiling? He lets out a small snort, his breath warm on your skin. You can smell him now. He smells like apples and dirt. Nothing like the stinky horses you've been in contact with before. This does not seem like the average horse.

He leans in and gently rests his head across your shoulder.

"Awwww what a sweetheart." You tease.

Hold on. Did you just say that? You're both guys here, and what you just said was a little fruity. Quick! Say something manly to cover for it!

"Pretty strong too." You add, deepening your voice a tad.

The petting session continues for a good hour, with the horse eventually laying down and you sitting next to him and stroking down his back. After another ten minutes, he lets out a little groan of satisfaction and rolls onto his belly. You can clearly see his whole underside now. Yep, your assumption was correct. Its a boy horse. You turn back to his belly and start rubbing it slowly. He lets out a sigh and lets his head fall back onto the grass below him. His tummy is alot softer than his neck. You stroke back and forth and decide to begin gently scratching. He looks drunk in happiness. You massage his abdomen and really feel the muscles underneath- This horse is jacked.

As you continue, you lift your other hand and begin petting his mane again. You gently run your fingers through it and scratch his scalp. He groans again and seems to smile wider.

“You are really soft. Do you use conditioner?” You joke.

The horse nods.

“Eeyup.”

…

Did you hear that correctly? Did he just talk? You stop scratching and look at his muzzle.

“D-Did you just speak?” You ask quietly.

“Eeyup.”

Your eyes shrink.

“Say something else.” You ask.

“Apples.” He drawls. He sounds southern. The shock settles in.

“Whats your name?” You ask. He gets up

“Big Macintosh.” He says proudly. You begin to shake, trying to recall taking any drugs in the past week. Wait- you don't do drugs. You don't even know where to get any. The black market is not a place you know much about. You shake your head a bit.

"How long have you been able to talk?" You question him.

"Since ah was a colt." He grunts.

"Where's your owner?" You ask.

He looks at you quizzically.

"Ah Ain't owned by nopony." He says defensively.

"Nopony? You mean nobody, right?"

"Nobody? No. Nopony. Either Everypony, Somepony, or Nopony."

"Where is your owner?"

"Ah don't got no owner!"

"Then Who owns this farm?" You shoot back.

"Mah family!" He booms. You're confused.

"But you're a horse! Horses can't do taxes!"

He looks angry now.

"Yer obviously not from around here pardner. So let me fill ya in. We are Ponies. We CAN do taxes, and we CAN support our farm just fine! We don't need no help from any hairless monkeys like you!"

Oh! Oh! NOW you are pissed. You grab him by one of the metal prongs sticking out of his yolk and bring his muzzle close to your face.

"Listen here asshole. I am FAR from a damn monkey. I am human and not from around these parts so PARDON ME if I don't know Jack Schitt about this place. Give me a break and don't be such a dick about it!"

You can see the anger boil over in his eyes as he headbutts you, causing you to stumble backwards.

"GET OFF MAH FARM!" He shouts, charging you again. This time you're ready though, and you side step him and stick a leg out, tripping him and making him fall over.

He lands flat on his stomach and groans, But stands quickly, rears up and bucks you with his hind legs.

HOLY SHIT! Was that a horse or a freight train? You could feel a couple snaps in your rib cage as you're flung backwards. You land with a painful thud and shout out in pain. Every time you breath in it feels like a thousand knives to the chest. You can feel your breathing shallow and hear a voice in the distance.

"What in tarnation are you doing mac???"

You black out.

******

You gasp for breath and open your eyes. You're in a small hospital bed with bandages all across your body. There isn't as much pain when you breath now, and you can see a group of horses- uh, Ponies. There is a white one wearing a nurses cap and holding a clipboard. She's talking to four others. They all hear you move and face you, all of them wearing guilty smiles. Nurse pony face walks up to you and speaks.

"I understand you speak our language?" She asks. You nod, and she looks down to her clipboard.

"Well, thats good to hear. Now it will be easier to explain to you that you have 3 broken ribs and a mild concussion. You're lucky you even survived that hit though."

Your eyes go small. You attempt to gasp, but pain racks your body and you end up letting a pained groan escape.

"It's best you stay here and rest. You need to let your body heal." The nurse warns you. You sigh and lay back down. The nurse checks you over one last time and heads to the door.

After she leaves, you focus your attention on the other four ponies. There's a little yellow midget one with a cartoonishly large red bow in her mane. The one next to her is bigger and orange, with freckles and blond hair and a stetson hat. She reminded you of the pony version of a girl you once dated. The lime green one next to her was a wrinkly old fart, and she shook even when she stood still. All three of them were staring at the fourth, a familiar, taller, red pony with a worried and guilty expression on his face. Big Macintosh, The pony who put you here.

The three other ponies give him one last look and leave the two of you.

Big Mac lowers his head and looks away from you.

"Ahm... sorry Ah kicked ya." He mumbles. You scowl at him.

"I feel like shit." You say bluntly. He flattens his ears and flinches.

"Ah am really sorry. Ah just lost mah tempers all." He scuffs his a hoof against the floor.

"Is there anything Ah can do to to make it up to ya?"

You can hear his voice quaver. He really is sorry. You're usually able to tell if someone's serious or not by the look on their face and the tone of voice they use. This guy felt really bad about what he did. Plus he seemed really nice before the argument...

An Idea pops into your head and you smile.

"I will forgive you, but you have to let me do something to you."

Big Macs eyes go small. He closes his eyes and lowers his head, as if he's waiting for you to get up, walk over and hit him.

"Can I pet you again?"

He opens his eyes.

"Huh?"

You repeat what you said and watch as a small smile spreads across his face. He trots over and genty lays his head next to you. You begin running your fingers through his silky mane and hear him sigh out a single word in response to your request.

"Eeyup."

Author's Note

I got bored in Business Math. Wrote this.