The (Mis)Adventures of a Mob in Equestria
It was a normal day on the outskirts of Ponyville. The sun was shining, the animals were happy, a large gray block was sitting in the middle of Fluttershy’s cottage, and the owner of said cottage was under her bed, quaking like… something that shakes a lot.
Yep. A perfectly normal day, except for the perfectly square stone in the cottage. It didn’t do much, just sit there, blockily. Eventually, a somewhat apprehensive buttery-yellow Pegasus nosed her way out from under her bed, descended her well-oiled stairs, instinctively avoiding the bird, mammal, and reptilian huts scattered about the place, and hid behind her couch, peeking her eyes over the cusp of the cushions.
Her quarry had not moved in all that time, not even acknowledged the small pastel horse and the clear idea that it had violated her (somewhat) personal space, not the other way around. Eventually, Fluttershy eased her way around her couch and came nose-to-rock with the cube.
“H-Hello?” she asked in that quiet way that could induce multiple instantaneous heart attacks in any sapient being. The cube remained unimpressed.
Fluttershy treated it like she would any other animal, believing it to be one. “Come now, don’t be shy. My name is Fluttershy. What’s yours?”
The rock stayed complacent, bringing about a rising anger in the usually calm pony. No animal had ever misbehaved around her! She lifted a hoof, and rested it on top of the block.
“Listen, I don’t want to have to do this, but I can’t be friends with you in a one-way conversation relationship. So, I will ask one more time. My name is Fluttershy. Do you have a name?”
Unmoved by the stirring speech of the quiet horse, the stone stood still, cold as, well, a rock.
“Alright, you asked for it,” Fluttershy snorted. Mustering her best impression of her friend, Fluttershy shrieked, “HERE COMES TOM!” and threw the block through the first-story window.
Upon contact with the ground, the block immediately vanished, replaced by a small wriggling gray bug-like thing. “Ohmigosh! I’m sorry!” Fluttershy darted over to the thing, coddling it in her hooves. The thing gave a small chirrup in response.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were in there! Well, I guess I did a little, or else I wouldn’t have tried to befriend you. Do you have a name?”
Chhr.
“Silver, huh? That’s cute, you wittle buggy thing you! If I may ask, what are you? I’ve never seen an egg like that before.”
Skre.
“A… silverfish? I’m afraid I’ve never heard of a—”
Chir!
“Oh, are you hungry? Give me one second.” Setting the silverfish down gently, Fluttershy darted back into her house, returning moments later with a full picnic basket. Throwing down a checkered blanket, she set out a smorgasbord of food, ranging from simple crackers to slabs of meat. Silver nosed around the food, sniffing each offering, but rejecting every one. Suddenly, with a joy-filled chirp!, it bounded off the blanket and over to a small rock.
“Oh, that’s Boulder. Pinkie Pie’s sister Maud asked me to take care of him while—wait, what are you doing? Silver, no!” Swooping over, she patted Silver’s back, forcing the object from its throat. “No! No eating the other animals!” The strangely blocky silverfish looked at her with big sad eyes. “You eat rocks? Hmm… I think I know someplace you can eat all the rocks you want. It's called the Castle of the Two Sisters...”
“In other news, Ponyville today came under attack by a giant swarm of gray bugs, eating everything in sight. Local ponies described is as a ‘horror’ and ‘like a wingless wave of parasprites.’ Researchers are unsure where this swarm came from, but sources confirm it originated from somewhere in the Everfree Forest. Now let’s go to Sweetie Belle with the weather. How’s it looking, Swe—”
“Aw, no fair! Ah wanna do the weather!”
“Apple Bloom, we’ve gone over this already. I do the main news, Sweetie does the weather, and you have sports.”
“I think all of you are wasting your time.”
The three fillies glanced out of their large cardboard box at their audience: Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and a few other foals. Diamond Tiara is looking at them snootily, her nose in the air so high, everypony’s surprised a fly hasn’t buzzed in there by now.
“I’ve never heard of a news reporter pony before!”
Scootaloo grunted at the pink pony. “Pinkie Pie says it’s a big thing in other parts of the world.”
Suddenly, Sweetie Belle points out of the box, falling on her face in the process. “Ow. Hey, what’s that?”
Every head turns to see a tide of gray, wriggling wormy things flooding out of the Everfree, a pink-maned Pegasus hot on its tail. As it entered the town, screams of “The horror!” and the sound of fainting ponies could be heard. Every head turned back to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, still in their box. Scootaloo glanced around sheepishly.
“We got our tip from Pinkie Pie.”
Three hours, half a village, more than a million bits in damage, and one Harmony blast later, only one silverfish remains, caged in front of Twilight’s somehow still standing library. Fluttershy is giving many apologies for the animal’s behavior.
“I’m so so so sorry everypony. How was I supposed to know eating rocks made Silver multiply? Please don’t banish me. Or throw me in a dungeon. Or—”
“Fluttershy,” Twilight looked at her friend, exasperated. “We’re not mad at you, just a little confused. How could anypony let this happen twice? In any case, we now have a ravenous rock eater to take care of. It’s obvious it can’t stay here. Any suggestions?”
“Did you say rock eater?” A monotone voice broke through the murmuring of the crowd. The gathered ponies immediately parted to admit Maud Pie. In an instant, the hyperbolic hyperactive hypersugar factory known as Pinkie Pie was all over her sister.
“Maud! How was your trip did you make new friends how’s mom and dad and Marble and Limestone and the farm and the rocks and the farmhouse and that old pony down the way and—” a grey hoof across the muzzle silenced the confectioner.
“I just came to pick up Boulder. Now I hear you found a rocky silverfish. I’ll take him off your hooves.”
“R-really?” Flustered, Twilight sputters out, “Why would you want something like this?”
“I live on a rock farm. I like rocks. However, sometimes our rock fields go bad. It takes a lot of ponypower to clear the bad rocks out and retill the soil. Some of the higher-end rock farms have trained silverfish to clear the fields. Now we can play on the same level.”
“But eating rocks makes it multiply out of control!”
Maud picks up the cage, staring at Silver with extreme disinterest. Silver strains against the bars, locks eyes with the grey pony, then shrinks down in defeat. “I do not think that will be a problem. We have… means of dealing with an out of control herd. Thank you Fluttershy, for taking care of Boulder for me.” With that, the bland mare turns and exits the scene. With nothing else to hold their attention the gathered townsponies disperse.
Twilight stands in the middle of the street, one hoof in the air, jaw hanging loose. “What… What just happened?”
Pinkie rocks back and forth on her hooves. “Maud came back from her trip, picked up Boulder, and got the farm a new pet! Now I just have to wait for…”
Two months later…
“Maud’s letter!” Pinkie bursts into Sugarcube Corner, proudly waving a parchment through the air.
“That’s what you were waiting for? You shut up for two whole months to say that?” Twilight sets down her pastry.
“Of course not, silly! It was just a scene transition!” Before Twilight could react, Pinkie tears open the letter and reads it.
“Uh, okay… so what does it say?”
“Let’s see… the farm is doing great… families got more free time… Silver is doing awesomely… won first prize in this year’s Most Fashionable Silverfish competition…”
Twilight does a spit-take. “Wait, those exist?”
“…And they’re gonna be visiting soon! Isn’t that great?” Pinkie’s brow furrows. “Wait, something’s not right. This ending is too perfect.” Her body is suddenly wracked by a series of twinges, twitches, pulls, and yoinks. Everypony in the store dives for cover.
“What does that mean?”
“I didn’t know a pony’s head could spin like that?”
“Did somepony leave the oven on?”
Just as suddenly, a small brown thing pops up in the middle of the shop. It turns to Twilight, showing two small beady eyes and a big red nose.
“Diglett-dee!” it pops back down its hole. Shouts of “The horror!” and the sounds of fainting ponies echoes through the open windows. Fluttershy sheepishly pokes her head in through the door.
“Um… I found a new friend. Turns out he had some friends, who had some friends, who had some friends…”
