The Train Family

by QueenOfTheSilence

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Sex
Length: 6342

From their coming out, to their wedding, to their first little foal, this is the three part saga of Mr. and Mrs. Herbert the Train

For Applejack, it was love at first sight. She saw him and she knew he would be hers, even if others tried to stop her or lock her away. This is the story of Herbert the Train and his wife Applejack, from coming out with their relationship, to their wedding, to the birth and raising of their abom...I mean foal, Appletrain and all the trials and tribulations they face as a family and as individuals.

The following is extremely inspired off of Friendship is Witchcraft Episode 9 and is not to be taken seriously. This was written for the lols. The first three chapters were originally separate one shots which have been removed and reupload as part of this story.

Published 2015-03-21 11:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-21 11:40:02 UTC

The Coming Out

She grinned in excitement as she gently moved down the stairs, trying her best to not make a sound. Despite feeling guilty that she was going to see him again after promising her brother she wouldn't, AppleJack knew that nothing could keep her away from her beloved. She was practically jumping with joy at the thought of seeing her lover again, so eager to press kisses to his face and for the night ahead. This was to be the night that they finally took their relationship to the next level. Intercourse. While she wasn't by any means a virgin, she was more than eager to give herself up to her lover, to feel him wrapped around her, to make love to the guy that had stolen her heart.

Like a ninja, AppleJack moved down the last few feet of stairs and cautiously made her way into the kitchen. Through the window in the back door she could see that Luna's moon had reached it's peak. She took a look at the clock above the stove to check the time. 2:00 AM. The orange pony winced. She was nearly an hour late, but that wasn't surprising because she had to wait till she was absolutely sure that nopony would discover her sneaking out. Especially her brother. Quietly she tiptoed over to the back door of the farm house and quietly unlocked the door, wincing slightly as the old lock creaked as it turned. She nudge the door open with a hoof and allowed it to open up halfway before stepping out.

Once outside, AppleJack briefly paused to breathe in the cool country air. She quickly pulled the door closed behind her. Normally she would lock the door, however since she had lost the key to the back door it probably wasn't a good idea to lock her only way back in. Unless of course she wanted to climb the tree next to Apple Bloom's window and sneak in that way. But then she would surely be caught.

She walked slowly away from the farm, ducking behind trees and anything she could find while glancing back at the house to make sure nopony was coming after her. Once she was a decent amount of distance away, she broke into a gallop, heading towards the rendezvous point where she would meet her lover. Tonight was surely to be a great night, that AppleJack was certain.

-

By the time AppleJack made it to the train station, the rendezvous point, she was pretty much sweating. The station and her house were both situated opposite of each other, with the actual town of Ponyville situated in the middle. Needless to say, with being extra cautious in order to make sure she wasn't caught, it took her over an hour to get to station. By the time she arrived, her lover was already there. He glared silently at her, obviously annoyed with having to be held up.

“Look, Sugarcube I know! But Big Mac was giving me a hella' hard time. Every time I thought that stallion was asleep I heard him moving about in his room!” said AppleJack. The thing she hated most was the fact that she possibly ruined their special night. She could tell from the way he had cleaned himself up, that he had been just as excited for this night as she had been. His gaze softened. AppleJack smiled at him and approached him. He tried to look annoyed, but AppleJack could tell that he wasn't that angry. She placed a kiss on his head and sighed contently as she felt his body press against hers.

“So, should we get started?” asked the mare suggestively, running her hoof up and down her companions face. The twinkle in his eyes was all she needed.

-

AppleJack panted heavily as she laid on top of her coltfriend. She couldn't believe that she had sex in the train yard, of all places! Yet her beloved had his fetishes and had all but demanded that they do so. Despite her initial rejections, she eventually caved. It was a wild night, filled with so much ecstasy and love. But, like all things, it had to come to an end. Luna was lowering her moon and Celestia was beginning to raise the sun. As the sun began to peak over the horizon, AppleJack knew she had to leave while she still had a small window of time to return home without anypony knowing how she spent her night. Both her brother and her granny usually got up around this time, but they did occasionally sleep in. She just prayed to Celestia that this was one of those mornings.

She kissed her lover and pulled away from him, climbing off his long, sexy body. Her beloved gave her a silent, understanding look. They both knew that they had went overtime with their frenzied lovemaking. Giving her what appeared to be a wink, both individuals returned to their normal lives.

AppleJack all but ran home, running past farmers like herself who were setting up their market stalls and other early rising ponies. Most ponies thought nothing of it as the mare had a tendency to run from place to place instead of walking and most of them saw her up at this time of day. Still, some did find it odd that she wasn't setting up her stall like usual. Perhaps Big Mac was in charge of the stall today? That would explain why it wasn't up yet, the Apple family was usually the first to set up. Shrugging it off, the ponies went back to their business.

-

AppleJack burst through the back door of her farmhouse, near ready to collapse from exhaustion from running all the way home and from her recent “activities”. Instead of finding an empty kitchen, or a kitchen with her brother and granny sitting at the table, ready to tear her a new one, she found both them and her friends. They all sat around the table, looking at her with worried glances. Little Apple Bloom who was usually also still asleep at this time was also seated.

“Uh, well. Well call me Sally....What are you gals all doin' here? And why is 'Bloom up? Isn't today a Saturday? Shouldn't you still be in bed?” AppleJack was by no means stupid. She had a good idea where this was going to go however she was hoping she was wrong as she stood awkwardly, locking eyes with her brother.

“Your brother pretty much burst into our houses and asked that we come. He said that you needed help, though he didn't say what” answered Twilight, looking both worried and tired. AppleJack gritted her teeth and gave her brother a look.

“I don't need help from nopony! I am just fine! 'Mac is just making up nonsense! Y'all can go home and back to bed.” her friends looked at her unconvinced and both confused as they had no idea what Big Macintosh thought AppleJack needed help with.

“By Celestia's sagging tits! Tell them, damn it! About your warped relationship with that....bastard!” The group, minus Apple Bloom who was confused and AppleJack, all gasped. Out of all of them, they never expected the orange earth pony farmer to be having a secret relationship with somepony!

“Are you in an abusive relationship, I know all about this! I read about it in Fifty Shades of Neigh!” said Princess Twilight Sparkle, concerned for her friend. Noticed, her friends all rolled their eyes.

“Wait, does that mean somepony is hurtin' big sis'? I don't want anypony to hurt you!” Apple Bloom ran over to her sister and hugged her around the neck, standing on her back hooves. AppleJack sighed and hugged her sister back.

“I ain't being abused by nopony! Mr. Overprotective here just doesn't approve of my relationship because it ain't up to his standards!” snarled AppleJack, pushing her sister away from her and moving toward the table where her family sat.

“Standards? Standards? Your relationship ain't normal! It's far from normal, it's just plain damn disgusting is what it is!” replied Granny Smith, shaking her cane at her granddaughter.

“You just don't understand! What we have is real Granny! He loves me, I love him! We're gonna elope! He's a good guy!” screamed AppleJack. Twilight stood up from where she was sitting and made her way over to her friend.

“Look, AppleJack we are here for you. If you say that he's a good guy, then we believe you. But, I want to meet him, as do all of we. I want to see for my own eyes that he's a good stallion, that he's treating you right. Can we meet him?” asked the alicorn, pleadingly.

AppleJack opened her mouth to object before quickly shutting it. They were going to find out eventually. Both her friends, Ponyville citizens and her sister. She had been putting off introducing her lover to her friends for months. The only reason her brother and granny knew was because they had followed her one night when she left to meet him. “Fine! But don't you go and run him off!”

-

The group of six ponies, five adults and one teen followed behind the orange farm pony as she swiftly made her way to where her lover was surely at. After all she knew that his job, despite how hectic it was, did not have work till the late afternoon. He was most likely at home, napping probably.

By the time they reached their destination, many of the ponies behind her were confused. “Why are we at the train station?” asked Rainbow Dash.

AppleJack bit her lip and sighed. Quietly she made her way over to where a train was sitting on the tracks next to the station. She lovingly placed a hoof on it's cold, hard metal body and turned towards her friends. “This here is Herbert, the train. He's my coltfriend”

The Wedding

Today was the day. After a year in a mental institution and six months of “therapy”, Applejack was ready to propose to her beloved. In the beginning, when she was released from the hospital her friends and family had did everything they could to keep her and Herbert the train separated. They even got Princess Celestia and Luna to try and intervene. Eventually though they gave up, and honestly watching Applejack make out with a train kind of ruined their appetites. Since she wasn't really doing any harm, other than mentally harming anyone who happened to witness her making love to the train, they let her be. Really the only one who still put up a fight over the matter was the Ponyville Conductor.

It had been hard finding a ring for him that fit. Actually it had been impossible. So she instead settled for a small diamond ring with a gold band that she was going to tie to his hull with a silk scarf. It was going to be perfect. They'd get married, She'd move in with Herbert and then they'd have a few train-pony babies. Yes, it would be absolutely perfect.

AppleJack trudged along the roads of Ponyville, headed towards her destination. She was well aware of the looks of disgust and the whispering she received. Half of Ponyville though she was an insane, sick freak and the other half though she was doing this all for attention. Either way it didn't matter, she loved Herbert and he loved her. As she approached the train station she could see Herbert resting quietly on the track. Obviously he was getting ready for work. Hebert’s job was a hectic one that often had him away from Ponyville. He delivered both ponies and cargo to all over Equestria. All about ponies were standing in line, getting ready to board him.

Herbert gave AppleJack a look of affection and tooted his horn. As AppleJack approached him, the conductor became aware of her existence. Even though they were still yards apart she could see the expression on his face. “Howdy Sharp Whistle! Here to take Herbert away for another trip?” she asked as she stood next to the train and spoke upwards to the open train window where the conductor was. Sharp Whistle, an elder earth pony stallion with a gray crew cut mane style and a soft blue coat, said nothing. He just looked at her with a expression that basically meant: Whatever it is you're up to, you sick freak, just get it over with. AppleJack nodded and gestured towards Herbert.

“Can I get a moment alone?” Sharp Whistle merely stared at her for a moment and then gestured towards the crowd of ponies, silently signaling that even if he left they still wouldn't be alone. The orange mare sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. She'd rather do this in private, but buck it. She wasn't ashamed of her relationship. She placed a hoof on the train.

“I understand you're working Sugarcube but I need to ask you something very important. Applejack rubbed the hull of the train affectionately and then pulled away. Reaching into her saddle bags, she pulled out a small box. She got down on one knee and opened the box, revealing the ring. Herbert’s eyes, or rather headlights, twinkled and widened in surprise and happiness. Behind her, AppleJack could hear Sharp Whistle voicing his disapproval.

“SERIOUSLY? YOU’RE GOING TO PROPOSE? TO AN INANIMATE OBJECT? A TRAIN, TO BE PRECISE? FUCK MY LIFE, WHAT HAS EQUESTRIA COME TO? FUCK THIS SHIT, I QUIT!” Applejack paid no attention to the screaming stallion, her focus was on her beloved.

“Herbert, we've known each other for a long time now. We've made love numerous times and been on many amazing dates….Herbert will you marry me?” The train silently agreed, excited and jumping for joy. “Oh Herbert!” Applejack threw herself at the train and began passionately kissing him. Behind him passengers puked and run away from the sight. After a few minutes of kissing Applejack pulled away. “Now, we both know how my friends and family feel and the princesses but I say say we go and try to get the whole town involved, or at least my friends. What do you think?” Herbert agreed. Obviously it was the best course of action.

“I’ll see if I can’t rope the girls in. I gotta go, but I’ll be back. Meet me here at 7:00 PM, okay Sugarcube?” Applejack waved to Herbert as she dashed away, but not before she tied the ring to his hull. With a grin on her face, she made her way to Carousel Boutique. She may usually hate frou-frou stuff but tonight was going to be special and she needed a special dress.

-

“So let me get this straight. You need a wedding dress, tonight, along with bridesmaids outfits, for your wedding? And you’re marrying a train. Correct?” Applejack nodded in response. Rarity sighed and massaged her temples with her hooves. “You do realize how much I disapprove of your relationship with the train right? And there is also the fact that it’s 3:00 PM. I can't make six dresses in four hours.” Stated the unicorn mare, pulling a bottle of whiskey out of one of her desk drawers. Applejack frowned and let out a small whine.

“So what am I supposed to do then?” asked the orange pony. Rarity waved her off. “I don't know, wear your gala or bridesmaid dress? You know the one from Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding?” Applejack sighed dejectedly before her eyes came upon a dress situated in the corner of Rarity’s workroom.

“What about that dress?” Rarity glanced over her shoulder and froze at the sight of the dress, The dress Applejack was talking about happened to be a paper bag that Sweetie Belle had put on her mannequin. Did her friend hate her that much that she would willingly wear something so horrendous? Still…..

“Three hundred bits” said Rarity, turning back to her friend and holding out her hoof. Applejack grinned and threw open her saddle bags and removed a giant bag of bits from it.

“This is money was supposed to be used to buy Apple Bloom braces but this is more important!” She tossed the bag at Rarity, who was smiling at the sight of the bits.

“Good choice darling. I'll wrap it up. Don't worry about bridesmaid dresses, I’m sure our Gala dresses will do just fine ” A few minutes later, with a happy nod towards her friend, AppleJack left Carousel Boutique, now with a wedding dress in hoof.

Getting the rest of her friends to agree to the plan had actually not been hard....Well there may have been some threats and bribes but still! After Rarity, Applejack had made her way to Princess Twilight Sparkle's Friendship Castle (Which you can buy for only $29.99!) and convinced the local princess to officiate the wedding. Needless to say, Twilight was more than happy to help her friend. Well actually she only agreed after Applejack threatened to tear her wings off, but that didn't matter After agreeing on a reasonable price of two thousand bits for Twilight's services, the mare left.

After that was a quick trip to Fluttershy's place. She found the pegasus in her house making out with Discord. At first Discord was pissed for being interrupted however after he learned about Applejack's and Herbert the train's relationship, he couldn't stop laughing. In fact he nearly peed himself. Once Applejack had promised not to say anything to Twilight and the others, Fluttershy agreed to the plan of providing music for the wedding. But only if Applejack forked over her soul. Something about using it to resurrect the great and powerful Smooze. She agreed of course, after all what did she really need her soul for anyway? To get into heaven? Pff, it probably wasn't that great to begin with.

The last two, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, were also quite easy to persuade. Dash had pretty much agreed instantly. All it had taken was the promise that she would get every single drop of cider from next year's cider season and in return she would do a Sonic Rainboom for the wedding. Pinkie Pie's payment in exchange for inviting the guests and providing refreshments had been quite simple. The deed to Sweet Apple Acres. Since she was planning on moving in with Herbert, forking over the deed was quite easy. Applejack grinned as she left Sugarcube corner and headed home to get ready, it didn't matter that she sold the farm, or that Apple Bloom wouldn't be getting braces for her hideously crocked teeth, or that she sold her soul to the devil or that more than half of her friends had extorted her, all that matter was that she was getting married.

The wedding was simple, very simple. Since they only had about four hours, the mane six plus Spike decided just to stand and set up a few tables for the food. Most of Ponyville had shown up, mostly to watch the most disturbing event since Celestia and Discord did shots off of Tierk's chest while Luna got it on with Queen Chrysalis under some tables. Disturbing night that was. The girls sans Twilight acted as her bridesmaids while the Cutiemark Crusaders acted as the flower girls. Anyway, the ceremony was quite short and sweet. Both the bride and the groom exchanged vows. Well, more like Applejack exchanged vows and everypony stared as she interpreted what Herbert's “glances” meant. At the end of it all most ponies were crying, mostly because they were that disgusted and disturbed.

Twilight stood tall as she glanced between Applejack and the train. Holding her book aloft in her magic she awkwardly proclaimed: “You may now kiss the bride! Or rather the groom....” That was all the farm pony needed. She launched herself at the train and began making out with him. Needless to say most people left because they were too sick to eat any of the refreshments Pinkie Pie had put out. Once everyone had dispersed and the newlyweds were alone, they stood together looking at the stars. They were married now, realized Applejack. And she couldn't wait for the next phase of her life.

The Foal

“What do you mean I can’t have any babies with my husband?” asked Applejack as she crossed her front hooves and slouched in the doctor’s office chair she was sitting in. Doctor Stable, a yellow coated unicorn with brown hair sighed and took off his glasses to rub his eyes. He was far too drunk, old and tired to deal with this shit, yet here he was because he needed money to pay alimony to that stupid, whore of an ex-wife.

“It is literally impossible Ms…. Fine, Mrs. Herbert, for a train and a pony to make babies. Genetics don't work that way.” Said Doctor Stable, putting down his clip board and putting his glasses back on. Applejack whined underneath her breath and pouted.

“But what about the Ca-Don’t bring up the Cakes, the reason they had a unicorn and a Pegasus was because they had unicorn and pegasus genetics in their blood which surfaced. Besides, trains do not have genetics! The Cakes do! Which allowed them to have children. TRAINS ARE INANIMATE OBJECTS USED TO TRANSPORT PEOPLE!” interjected the doctor, screaming and flailing his front hooves around to make his point.

“Is there no magic that can help me?” asked Applejack, her lip beginning to tremble and her eyes widening, glistening with tears.

“I don’t know! Ask Zecora or something! Maybe she has a potion that can help you!” With that, Doctor Stable kicked Applejack out of his office and back into the waiting room. Once alone he opened the door to his medical cabinet and removed a large bottle of whiskey and a bag of cocaine from behind some bottles of rubbing alcohol. “I hate Tuesdays!”
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Applejack slowly made her way into the dense and dark forest known as the Everfree. She detested this place with a passion but unfortunately, Zecora decided to live in the Everfree forest. Maybe it was due to all the rare creatures and plants around her, or because when she first moved to town they (the town’s folks) burned down her house, situated near town hall and told her to go live in the forest. As she walked she made sure to watch for Poison Joke, a magical plant that liked to play pranks on its victims. Applejack shuddered as she remembered the last time she stepped in the stuff.

Eventually, she found herself outside of Zecora’s door. Inside loud chanting could be heard and the smell of potions being brewed filled the air. Applejack walked up to the door and knocked on it three times. The door almost immediately opened, revealing an annoyed Zecora. “Zecora, I need a potion that can allow me to have a baby with Herbert!” There was a long, awkward pause where Zecora just stared at Applejack. She stared, stared and stared some more. The orange mare found it rather unnerving and rather creepy. Eventually the zebra spoke, in a slow, enrapturing voice which for the first time ever, did not speak in rhyme.

“Go fuck yourself; I don’t have time for your stupidity.” With that, the zebra slammed the door on Applejack, causing the frame to rattle from the vibrations. Applejack pouted for a few minutes and sniffled a bit before leaving. As she did, she tried to think of other ponies that could help her out. Twilight? Nah, she was probably busy doing water sports with Rainbow Dash. Really she had no idea why those two girls liked canoing and swimming so much. Pinkie Pie? After all, the girl was a gypsy. But then again, Pinkie Pie was annoying and she really didn’t want her to use her dark magic or to go on about how she needed to make a portal to resurrect her parents. Rarity? No, because she would just laugh or talk about her post-dramatic-dress-disorder and about the War; Besides, that girl was worthless.

Applejack paused and reminisced briefly at the war. It had been a brutal one, but in the end, she had succeeded in winning the war and massacring the enemy troops. So what if it was “inhumane” to slaughter all their enemies even after they surrendered? She had done what she needed to do in order to protect the Apple family and their farm. Besides, Ponyville didn’t care. The mayor had personally annulled her war crimes and she was once again an upstanding member of society, but now with a bunch of medals above her door to remind family and visitors of what she did for Equestria.

Anyway, Fluttershy? No, that girl was either doing a bunny bonfire or making out with Discor….DISCORD! That was it! If anyone could help her make a baby with Herbert it was sure to be Discord! Applejack ran back to Ponyville, not bothering to watch out for any mysterious magical plants or Timberwolves. By the time she got back, the sun was setting and sweat was pouring down her brow and body. She rushed up to Fluttershy’s door and rapidly knocked on the door. No doubt Discord was over at Fluttershy’s, he lived there and he was usually at home or with Fluttershy. A few minutes passed before the top part of the door to Fluttershy’s cottage opened, revealing the mare herself.

“Is Discord here? I need him to help me!” exclaimed Applejack, waving her hooves around like a mad pony. Fluttershy hesitantly opened the bottom part of the door and gestured to the kitchen. Fluttershy followed after Applejack as she ran into the kitchen, where Discord was making cucumber sandwiches.

“Oh, hello Applejack” said Discord, absently minded dusting off her bright pink apron with duckies and kittens on it and turning away from the food he was making.
“I need you to help me make a baby with Herbert! I went to the doc’ but he said I can’t have no babies with Herb ‘cause he’s a train! I want a baby with Herbert, so use your strange, weird magic!” demanded Applejack.

Discord just looked at her. He stared and stared and stared. He stayed that way for a good while before finally speaking. “Only if I can have your seat in the friendship castle” stated the draconequus, summoning a glass of chocolate milk and gulping it all down in a matter of seconds.

“DEAL!” said Applejack, reaching out to shake hooves, or rather hooves and claws with the creature. He took her hoof and shook it before snapping his fingers. Nothing happened which made the farm pony look at him questionably.

“What? You can’t expect an instant baby! I made you pregnant with your….husband’s genetics, it takes time! Now that’s not to say your kid will survive, chances are it won’t but if it does….damn. It’ll be an even bigger side-show freak then me!” explained Discord, laughing.

“You sure I’m preggers?” asked Applejack. Discord nodded his head and ushered her out of the kitchen with his paw.

“Yes but it may take time to show up on pregnancy tests. Wait about a month or three and then go to the doctor or pee on one of those sticks.” With that Discord went back to making cucumber sandwiches.

Applejack bit her lip as she stared at wall in front of her. After waking up these last few weeks sick and moody she decided to take herself to the doctor to see if Discord’s magic had worked. It had been a little bit over three months since she had gone to him for help. Doctor Stable was in another room, gathering her tests. As she waited on the cold, sterile table of the medical examination room she couldn't help but worry. What if it hadn’t work? What if it did and then she lost the baby? What if it decided to become a drug addict or an alcoholic when it grew up?

*Creak!*

The door to the room opened and in stepped Doctor Stable, who had a look of disbelief on his face. “Your pregnancy test came back, you’re pregnant. I’m not sure how the hell you did it, you sick freak. The ultrasound we took earlier also shows that you do in fact have an oddly shaped fetus which kind looks like it has…..well a miniature caboose attached to it.” Said the drunk doctor, pointing to a ultra sound that was on the monitor on the wall next to the mare.

Applejack grinned and hopped off the table and ran over to Doctor Stable, shaking his hoof enthusiastically. “I can't believe it worked! Me and Herbert are gonna’ have us a baby!” The mare gasped, realizing she forgot about her husband. Oh well, he probably wasn't too mad that she went in to the Doctor’s by herself to see the test results. Besides he couldn't fit inside the hospital and Doctor Stable refused to make a house call. With a grin on her face, Applejack ran out the door, throwing thanks over her shoulder as she did. Doctor Stable growled and rolled his eyes and started to reach into his medicine cabinet when he realized something.

“FUCKING BITCH, SKIPPED OUT ON THE MEDICAL BILL!”

Thankfully, Herbert did forgive her. In fact when he found out they were expecting, he was over the moon though he said this with his glances. The fourth month of pregnancy was a bit hard for Applejack, she was beginning to show and was starting to eat strange things like gasoline and chunks of coal covered in chocolate.
She also started developing weird desires to move around in circles shouting, “Choo-Choo!” By the seventh month she was eating nothing but coal and gasoline and had hot glued a wheel to each of her legs. By the eleventh month, the month she was due she was spending most of her days just sitting in the middle of train tracks as a “train.” By the time she gave birth, her skin was starting to turn hard and kind of like metal.

The birth was painful, Applejack screamed a lot. She refused to have the baby in the hospital; her husband couldn't fit in the hospital and she wanted him there. So they had him at their home, the Ponyville train station. After Applejack traded Sweet Apple Acres, the family decided to move and take over the Ponyville train station, making it their home. It was odd for visitors and residents alike. The birth was hard, it last a little bit over nine hours and Applejack was quite delirious through the pregnancy. Thankfully though, her friends and family were there to help her out, even though most of them were there just because they wanted to see what her kid would like. Train? Pony? The answer was both.

At first glance the little foal looked fine. Big dewy eyes, a soft tuft of dark gray hair and bright green eyes along with a light silvery coat. It had a normal pony upper torso and face with two hooves that waved around as the baby giggled and played with its mother’s hair. However upon further examination, it revealed that instead of a lower torso the baby had instead a train caboose as its lower body. It was THE greatest freak show since Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus decided to reproduce to make a child capable of breaking people’s ear drums by just looking at someone.

Rainbow Dash glanced at her honorary niece or nephew and scrunched up her muzzle as she looked at the child. “Wait if it has a caboose and no lower torso, then is it a boy or a girl?” asked the cyan colored Pegasus.

“It don't matter Sugarcube, whether it’s a boy, girl or genderless. This foal is ours, though referring to it as it instead of her or him is gonna’ be mighty weird.” Spoke the tired looking new mother as she sat with her foal.

“Now then, what are you going to call this little….thing?” asked Nurse Redheart, who had come to the Apple Family home to help the new mother give birth. Applejack paused for a second and then slowly got off from where she was sitting and made her way outside, walking on three hooves while one of her front ones held her foal. She stepped outside onto the train station platform to where her husband was. They shared a few glances and smiles between them. Her friends and family gathered behind her and watched as she silently talked to her husband. After twenty minutes Applejack finally spoke.

“Apple Train!! Our foal’s name is Apple Train!”

The Criminal

Note: The next few chapters will have Applejack and Herbert but I decided to introduce Appletrain by herself in her own chapter.

Appletrain hated Math. Appletrain hated English. Appletrain pretty much hated every school subject. Why? Because it was pointless in her mind. Appletrain, who was only ten years old, already had her mind set on being a train like her father. Well she was a train, half of one actually, but she wanted to carry cargo and passengers all over Equestria in her caboose even if she could barely only fit something the size of a cat inside of it. Appletrain stopped briefly and wondered if the start of this fic could be considered sexual and there for illegal as she was a young foal however she dismissed it, as she remembered she did not in fact have any...err parts. Or technically a gender, however the Author was clearly too lazy to change the words: She, Her, to it or whatever.

Anyway, Appletrain knew she did not need math to be a train. Her father didn't know math, not did he know science or anything else really. That's why, as she stood in front of her desk and stared blankly into space, she was annoyed as she had just been forced to finish an entire page of math problems. After school. She had also been forced to stay another half an hour as a result of having not completed her homework. Again.

“Can I go now Ms. Cherilee?” asked the young abomination, to her teacher who was the only person left in the school house, since the other foals had went home over an hour ago. Cherilee glances up from her students work that she had been grading and motioned for the young hybrid to come forward.

“Do you know why I kept you after school?” asked the middle aged school teacher, taking of her dark red glasses and setting them down on her desk so she could rub her eyes with her hooves.

“Because I didn't do my homework?” replied Appletrain, half asking, half stating. Cherilee shook her head.

“Nah because I need you to take this pile of “books” over to Super Waifu Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle's Castle and I'm just too lazy to do it myself. Plus you got that thing going on back there...so...yeah.”

“I don't remember books looking like a dozen bags of white powder....”

Three Hours Later

“Do you know why we arrested you, little filly?” The light shone bright in Appletrain's eyes, as she sat behind a large, metal desk, her hooves handcuffed to either sides of the table. Across from her sat an old, male, balding Unicorn who was wearing what was clearly a City Guard uniform.

“Because I was carrying Cocaine in my caboose?” guessed Appletrain. The stallion shook his head and sighed dramatically.

“The coke? Nah, we don't care about that. How about the fact that you were carrying around some Kinder Surprise eggs in your caboose?” stated the stallion, reaching to his side and revealing a bag of what appeared to be egg shaped objects which were covered in foil and read: Kinder Surprises! On the front.”

“I got arrested over the treats my mom put into my bag for a snack? Seriously? Not the drug money? Or the fact that I was an accessory to murder by burning that body for Twilight? Because of some stupid chocolate eggs?!?!?” screamed Appletrain, slamming her hooves down on the table.

“Not just Chocolate Eggs! These things contain a mini toy inside that little foals can choke on and they're illegal here in the United States!” screamed the stallion back.

“FML......Wait, this is Equestria!” stated Appletrain, who was now confused.

“This is an American show though” replied the stallion, looking at the young mare in disgust. “You're going straight off to prison, we aren't going to bother going to trial with you, the judge has already approved a twenty to life prison conviction for you. And it's not Juvenile Detention either. You get to go to adult jail. Because thats where disgusting child abusers like you deserve to go!”

-

Appletrain was sent to the edge of Equestria, to it's most secure and highest level prison. When she arrived, the guards who had already read over her file looked at her in disgust and immediately placed her in a cell with one of the most violent criminals in the prison. The cell was small with a bunk bed, a toilet and a nightstand table. On the top bunk was an older mare who was covered in scars and was twirling a shiv between her hooves. She glanced at Appletrain and gave her a once over.

“What are you in for?” asked Appletrain as she looked around the cell for some sort of escape.

“Murdering half a dozen people, for no real reason other than sadistic pleasure. You?”

“.....I was caught with Kinder Surprise eggs. You know the chocolate eggs in foil that have a toy inside?”

“....You're one disgusting fucking little kid. Absolutely disgusting. You're the scum of the earth kid, scum. Nobody could commit a crime worse.”

Appletrain hated her life.