Twilight Sparkle: Grand Galloping Gamer

by Blank Slate

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Shining Armor, Main 6, Princess Luna
Length: 17934

Twilight Sparkle and friends fall victim to the latest gaming craze to hit Equestria.

"I've seen them all die right in front of me. Friends cut down in a hail of fire before my eyes. My own brother, sliced open in an attempt to save my friends a few more seconds of life. Princess Luna stabbed straight through her lungs. Ponies I could barely call acquaintances blown to pieces.They're gone. I'm all alone. There's no one left but me, the new girl, to finally track down and kill the stallion that murdered all my closest friends..."
"Twilight, I think you're taking these video games a bit too seriously..."

Published 2012-05-15 15:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-15 15:14:01 UTC

Firing Range

Firing Range

A violent story by Blank Slate.
All character rights reserved by their owners. All rights to game concept of Halo copyrighted to Bungie.

It had been four months since that day. Four months spent becoming part of Equestria's top-ranked fighting team. Four months spent in front of her own personal television set. Four months of a flashback that concluded as a message blipped onto her screen, written in cyan text.

[Player AGENT RAINBOOM signed in]

Rainbow Dash's voice cut in over the blip noise. "Hey, Twilight! I guess that if you're on, you've got the Twi-Fi up again?"
"Rainbow, why don't you stop using that name? I called it the 'Disconnected Fidelity' charm."
"Yeah, that's boring. Twilight's Disconnected Fidelity. Twi-Fi. It fits."
"But any unicorn can do this spell; the game came with the instructions!"
"I still think we oughta name it after you."
"You know, I can disconnect you at any second. I cast the spell, I make the rules."
"Fine, fine, I'll stop naming awesome stuff after you. Hey, I just messaged the others, they oughta be on soon."

The very second she said that, another message appeared on Twilight's screen, this one written in pale yellow script.

[Player STEALTH BOMBER signed in]

"Umm, hello? Anypony there?"
"Fluttershy? Oh, good, you made it!"
"Well, I don't really have much else to do, so I figured I may as well blow some ponies up."
Rainbow was still not used to Fluttershy's love of Haylo. The pacifistic animal lover had initially been sickened by the warning labels, to say nothing of her discovery of the multipony objectives. But then, in one game, she found it. A small blue ball rotating lightly in its place. She had asked Twilight what it was, but the studious unicorn had no clue, and instead settled for the manual's description. "It says here that's a Cloaking Spell Field. It turns you invisible for a small time. Wow, wish I'd found that before..."

And now, Fluttershy's alter-ego, Stealth Bomber, was the bane of all snipers. Her skill with the auxiliary explosive spells while cloaked was infamous. And if not up close lobbing explosive spells into the fray, her long-distance aim with the Magic Missile spell was more than sufficient. She had, in two weeks of playing, racked up more explosive-spell-based kills than Twilight and Rainbow put together had in four. "It's really not that important, Rainbow. You know I can't play this game right unless nopony can see me," she would always say, but her records showed quite the opposite. In fact, the only one in the group with a higher kill ratio was...

[Player BALLOONATIC signed in] flared across the screen in bright pink.

"Oh, sweet Celestia... It's my turn to be against her, isn't it?" Rainbow spoke into the microphone. As if on cue, a high-pitched voice filled with entirely too much happiness shrieked into the headsets of all three ponies, attracting much more attention than was called for. "Aaahh! Oh. My. Gosh. Girls, it's been, like, foreveeeer since we played this! I mean, eight whole hours without my Haylo fix? I can't believe I'm even still sane!"
That's debatable, Twilight murmured to herself. Rainbow and Fluttershy spoke in unison. "Hello, Pinkie." The party pony in question already had her controller suckered onto her hooves, and was jabbering wildly into her mic. "Hey girls! I'm so excited for practice today, and Dashie? You bet you're on Twilight's team today! You always play on my team, and if you never play with Twilight, we'll lose the harmony we have when we get split up an' have to blow ponies up in squads!"
"Pinkie Pie, we always split into sets of three. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity cover us, and you, AJ and I always go hunting up front. It's how we always play."

Pinkie blew a raspberry over the magical airwaves. "Yeah, but what if you get zapped in a two-minute respawn game? We'd be left without a decoy, and AJ hates fighting from a distance!"
"Yeah, I know she is. Gah, why is she so dead set on using her hooves for every kill anyway? I mean, there's a reason for the Bird's Eye spell, right? And to top it off, she even wonders why she has the worst kill/killed ratio of us!"
"Uh, sugarcube? Ah can hear every word yer sayin'."

Rainbow Dash's heart stopped momentarily. She had failed to see the lettering at the top of the screen, reading [Player BLACKJACK signed in] in pale orange. "Oh... hey..."
The farmer jiggled her headset a bit more comfortably before responding. "Yeah, hey. Listen, Ah don't really mind y'all talkin' about mah playin' style, but leave mah records out of it. So what if Ah'm usually the most killed? Does it really matter?"
"I guess not. Sorry about that, AJ."
"Not a problem, just take more care when- Ah, there's little miss fussbudget."

[Player GLORIOUS signed in] Was lit in bright white on each pony's screen, and a cultured voice suppressed a yawn. "Good afternoon girls. Sorry I couldn't sign in earlier, I had a big order to fulfill, and I'm somewhat tuckered out from the effort. I'm afraid I'll only stay awake for training today." Twilight's gamer grin slowly grew. All six members of the team were there now. Sniper Rarity. Decoy Dash. Support Gunner Twilight. War Machine Pinkie. Assassin Applejack. Demolition Expert Fluttershy. Time to commence the game.

"Alright girls," she spoke into her microphone, "today, I'd like to see us split into pairs. We'll be playing VIP mode, and the endzone's gonna be behind me. Pinkie, you're with me. Applejack, you and Fluttershy are our close quarters specialists, so see if you can get past us while Rarity and Rainbow cover you."
"What?" The cyan pegasus yelled. "I don't do cover work, remember? I have the worst aim of all of us!"
Rarity took a sip of some drink before adding her piece. "Exactly why we're training. If Pinkie is our best fighter, and you can cover Applejack and Fluttershy from her, then we'll know you've improved."
"Besides that, Ah'm just dying to see how well you complete yer mission knowin' that it's just gonna improve mah record." Applejack gloated. Rainbow sighed, getting into her comfy position. "Fine, I'll go along with this, but really, AJ, don't count on this working out too well..."

A few clicks from the control sticks and a map was chosen, a game was selected, and a countdown commenced. Five seconds elapsed until the male narrator's voice spoke up again.

Very Important Pony.

Six unicorns appeared on six seperate screens. Twilight was delighted, as usual, to see her character now no longer the gruff looking stallion from her first day of play, and instead a slender, armored mare. A purple starburst adorned both flanks, and the lilac body plates were accompanied by a deep purple faceplate. She looked at the five others around her. One unicorn, bright blue in appearance, was jumping up and down impatiently, waiting for orders. Next to it was a bright white mare in the slenderest armor choices available. The orange unicorn beside her, by contrast, had the bulkiest, sturdiest looking suit on, despite it having no functionality. Lastly was a pink and yellow pair, totally identical excluding colouring and of course the balloons and butterflies stamped on their respective flanks. Everypony tested their controls a bit before turning to face Twilight's avatar, Laser Lilac. Twilight adopted a more serious tone, their little pre-game tradition, before issuing her commands.

"Glorious, Rainboom, each of you find a long-distance spell and get up on that hilltop there." A stream of bright green balls of light hit the side of a far off hill, adorned with plenty of rocky cover. Although the top of the hill was wide open, the lower sides made excellent sniper nests. "There's a Bird's Eye up there for one of you, and on this map, there's a fifty-fifty chance of a Magic Missile appearing over near Green Base, near the auto-turret. Dodge it, and the book is yours.

"Blackjack, Bomber, I want you to start over at the sniper den with them. There's a short, clean trench with little cover to the right of the peak, or down on the left is a long, sheltered one. Or, if you think you can dodge mine and Balloonatic's magic, you could charge right at us. As clean as Glorious' aim might be, there's still two targets, and leaving one alive might be a mistake."
"Hey," a cyan speaker replaced the lavender one on everypony's screen, "I may be a lousy shot, but I'm still not that bad! I can probably get you both before she lines up a shot!"
"Good attitude, Rainboom. Balloonatic, grab any spell you want and head to Orange Base, near the VIP point. I'll get some Ear-Piercers and find you, okay?"
"Roger!" came the reply. Lilac turned and faced each pony in the group individually. "Alright then, Elemental Forces, move out!"

The ponies split up into four directions, with Blackjack, Glorious, and Stealth Bomber heading toward the hill Lilac had shot at earlier. Agent Rainboom, being the greatest of the team's decoys, ran for the supposed Missile spell, immediately encountering heavy streams of rapid spellfire. Balloonatic had totally vanished from anypony's screen, but they knew well enough not to question her methods. This left Lilac to run toward the bottom corners of the map to find her own weapons, picking up caches of hidden pamphlets along the way.

"Ah'm in position, C'mander Lilac. Glorious got herself a Bird's Eye, and Ah'm set up with a Concussion Pulse. How d'you want us goin' about this?"
"Wait for Bomber to get her equipment, then take either of the trenches below. I can't see Balloonatic anywhere, but I can see Rainboom headed your way. No clue what she's armed with." It turned out to be, of all things, the infamous Hyper Beam book. Her horn glowed an ominous black, with tendrils of red fading from it. She ducked behind a sheet of rock next to Blackjack before climbing up next to the sniper in white. "Hey, Glorious, think this'll work for long distance?"
"Good heavens! Where did you find that?"
"This map has a hollowed out rock behind the auto-turrets. You'll get hurt going there, but the Hyper Beam's always there!"
"Well, you'll have to show me once we're done with practice, alright? Oh, Pinkie- er, Balloonatic's set up near Orange Base, keep a bead on her while I scout around for Lilac."

Twilight, in the guise of Lilac, had to restrain herself from shouting into her mic. "Girls! We haven't started fighting yet! The best way to succeed is to prepare your spells first, remember? I'll say when we actually start. Balloonatic, you heard them, right?"
"Yuh-huh!"
"Good, then keep under cover. Rainboom's gonna put a hole through you if you stay in one place."

Eventually, Laser Lilac had gathered a small army's worth of spell-pamphlets and her beloved Ear-Piercers, charging up the steps that lead to Orange Base. She activated a private conversation between herself and Balloonatic. "Alright, I dropped a PA-Mine spell on the stairs as I climbed. Any smart pony's going to shoot that thing apart from a distance, so I'll need you to monitor where the attack comes from. Glorious will be the one to shoot it down if Rainboom's carrying a Hyper Beam. What spells have you got?" Balloonatic had all her favourites on hand, and made a clear show of it. "I got jelly-bombs, a Party-Piercer, and a Crystal spell!" Her horn glowed pink and a volley of gems passed right over Lilac's helmet. "Hey, watch out where you cast those things!"
"Whoops, sorry!"
"It's fine, just practice caution. Now, have you got anything for long-range?"
"Mmm... not really, Commander."
"It's fine, but now, Glorious is going to be harder to tackle. Now, Blackjack and Bomber, on the other hoof, should be easy. Blackjack loves an open fight, so expect her to come around on your left. She'll follow the exposed trench, so you can try to bomb her out. Bomber will doubtlessly take the sheltered path. As much as I wanna surprise her at that corner there, I'll need to back you up in case one of them slips by. Have any tertiary spells?"

"Oh, yeah! I picked up a Super-Jump Pad back there!"
"Good, let's trade places. As soon as Bomber slips that fourth wall there, I want that Pad sliding under her hooves. I'll take her down while she's in the air, got it?"
"Got it!" Lilac switched the private chat to open. "Alright, ladies, everyone in position?"
"Yup!"
"Yes!"
"Eeyup."
"Roger!"
"Same here."
In the real world, Twilight blew out her candles, darkening her room and making the television seem brighter. "Game on!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Blackjack and Bomber decided not to split up at all. Both ran down the covered trench, Bomber hiding just behind the bulkier unicorn. In Lilac's zoomed-in perspective, only the orange mare could be seen. She fired off a few needles from her horn, forming a straight line across Blackjack's path. Unperturbed, the juggernaut continued running, dropping into a crouch simultaneously with Bomber as they dashed behind a wall. There were several light clinking noises as more needles bounced off the stone surface they hid under, followed by a wave of pink crystals popping up above. Blackjack activated her private chat with Stealth Bomber. "Hoo-wee, that was close! Glad she started out with warnin' shots! You really think she can't see you behind me?"
"Oh, certainly. Your brother and I tested it out with Vinyl Scratch, and she couldn't spot me either."
"Hold on- Big Macintosh plays?"
"Yes, lots of ponies we know do. I'll introduce you to them after practice. Eep!"

One of Lilac's auxiliary spells detonated near their cover, jarring the two into action. "Right, you stay here, Ah'll run the other way. Ain't nopony besides me that knows yer back here, so Ah'll go lead Lilac and Balloonatic's fire off yer hide. When you wanna move ahead, git Rainboom to open up that Hyper Beam on 'em. The distraction oughta get you time to run behind more cover. Ready?" The pale yellow mare's horn glowed white, extending a forked blade of white light. "Let's do this! ...If that's okay with you..."

While the close-quarters duo discussed tactics, Agent Rainboom and Glorious were arguing back and forth over who would shoot Balloonatic.
"C'mon, princess! I'm the one who has something to prove here!"
"Your spell's charge is too precious to waste unless she stands still, and we both know that won't happen." Far off, near the Orange Base, the pink unicorn in question kept bouncing in figure-eights, as if to prove Glorious' point. "Why not take down Lilac instead? She's a much easier target."
"Because, she's only third best of all of us! If I take down Balloonatic, I'll get more respect!"
"I think that should only be done if we're in the middle of a real game, not a simple training exercise. Even if your scores improve, it'll only be against us, not against those ruffians that play and devote their lives to this game."

Rainboom pointed her horn at Glorious' purple faceplate, the red and black light on the tip growing larger as she prepared the spell. "Here's how it's gonna work: You never miss, so you take down Lilac. I'm awesome, and have the best magic, so I get Balloonatic. If you refuse, I blast you. I mean, she's what, number four on the All-Equestrian boards? I'm number thirteen! If I take her down, I'll be legendary, so let me do it, alright?"

Glorious jumped at the last second as the spell, which Rainboom forgot she had been charging, vaporized the space the white mare previously occupied. Her character stepped closer to Rainboom, and the red button on Rarity's controller clicked in. She kicked Rainbow's avatar upside the head, depleting her forcefield. "Watch where you aim that thing, you loose-cannon lout! You nearly shot your own ally!"
"Heh-heh, sorry..."
'I should hope you are! Now, I can see Lilac's armor from here. I'll take her out right now if it means you'll focus on the game, not being number one on some silly statistics board."
"Rainboom, Glorious, once again, you forgot to check who's listening."

In reality, both Rarity and Rainbow gasped, with the white unicorn instinctively pressing the button inside the right stalk. A thin beam of orange light escaped her horn, nearly grazing Lilac's right back leg as she dodged behind cover. "Next time, girls, try private communications! Now, Balloonatic!" Two cameras turned to the point Pinkie's character had been bouncing at. She wasn't there. The two snipers knew that she was least dangerous when visible. They turned slowly, knowing the fate that faced them. Two jelly-bombs stuck to the faceplates of either unicorn as a third one, dressed in bright pink armor, hopped nimbly over and dropped down the side of the hill rapidly.
"Happy trails, girls!"

Blue light flashed everywhere, and two armored corpses sailed in different directions. Two more notches on the butt of Pinkie Pie's party cannon. She giggled, and ran back to Orange Base, skirting the side of the open trench from behind. There was nopony in it. Her mind twigged on the only valid explanation, and she ran off to her nest at the foot of the massive orange building.

The private chat icon blipped onto Twilight's screen. She pressed the appropriate button, regretting her decision immediately. "TWILIGHT! Er, I mean, COMMANDER LILAC! Nopony's in the big open trench over there, and you know what that means?"
"I can guess! Sneak attack!" She spun in place, pushing down on both stalk-buttons and firing a double spray of metal spikes clean through Stealth Bomber, who had been preparing an auxiliary spell from behind. One of Lilac's needles hit the ball of cyan light on the end of Bomber's bladed horn, detonating the jelly-bomb just before it could be fired. Fluttershy had no chance of survival. She set the controller down, shrugged, and took the explosion in stride. Applejack, however, would not be so easily rebuked. She had stayed hidden in the trench, but with respawns disabled, the only way she could win would be to take down two of her three most skilled friends. She sighed, and broke cover.

More metal spikes whizzed over head, one or two biting into Blackjack's forcefield. She continued her charge, the gray light on her horn building and building until she stepped close enough. Her entire shield bar was now drained, but this was her only chance. There was a massive woosh! as Blackjack released her spell. Gravity took its toll on Laser Lilac, propelling her deceased form into the sky. In the real world, Twilight groaned, but saw the silver lining in this situation. It was now a one-on-one deathmatch. Pinkie Pie's home turf.

"Oh, Blackjack? Where are you?" Balloonatic paced around the VIP zone, pointing her crystal-coated horn in an odd direction every once in a while. She was certain the orange mare would poke her helmet over a rocky outcrop eventually, opening herself to a firestorm of pink jewelled death. Eventually, her curious nature got the best of her, and she made her way down into the covered trench. There was the smoking crater where Stealth Bomber had detonated. Further on, she saw a row of metal spikes. But no Blackjack. Not a single solitary speck of orange to be seen. She frowned, and pointed her character back up to the VIP zone when an explosion rocked the screen. Blackjack's corpse bounced off a wall, killed by the pressure-activated mine Lilac had set up on the stairs in the opposite trench. Balloonatic hopped up and down in her joy.

"Yay, Applejack's dead! I win, I win!" As confirmation, the six friends' screens all darkened, showing a scoreboard of who had done what. The narrator's voice chimed in. "Player four wins." On Pinkie Pie's personal television, a blinking light showed her her own national scorecard. Her profile picture immediately went up a space, knocking a random green pony down to fourth place. Pinkie could hardly hold her excitement. "Ohmigosh! I'm number three now! I have the third best score in all of EQUESTRIA!!"

Her friends all applauded by clapping their hooves, offering encouragement. "Way to go, Pinkie!"
"Just two more ta go, then yer on top! Get 'er done, Balloonatic!"
"Um, I know it's kinda your thing and all, but I think we should have a party, if that's okay..."
"Fluttershy, you're a genius! I'm gonna go throw us a party!"
Twilight unintentionally brought the hammer of buzzkilling down. "Well, we should probably celebrate once you get to the top."

An awkward silence followed this comment. Everypony just sat there, unsure of what to say next. The tension forced Twilight to regain ground as quickly as she could. "Er, not that it'll be difficult for you. It'll just warrant an even bigger party once you're the best of the best, right? Only two ponies against the most feared six-mare team imaginable. What're their profile names? I wanna organize a match between us and them."

A scoreboard appeared on Twilight's screen, detailing everypony in the top two-hundred on a kill/killed ratio. Her own lavender avatar rested comfortably at spot number eight. Rainbow was, as she had said, number thirteen. Fluttershy, in a further contrast from her personality, held spot six safely. Fluttershy, as the highest ranked of the six beside Pinkie, read the top five out loud. "Number five, a stallion named Aegis. Four, who just got dethroned, another stallion, this one named Bubble Beat. Three is Balloonatic, and number two is a mare- I think it's Princess Luna!" She moved her control stalk onto the picture, clicking the button. Sure enough, a navy-suited mare with heavy leg armor and a black splotch on her rear, accented by a small white moon, showed up on the screen, under the incredibly fitting name NightMare Moon. The kill/killed ratio was a ridiculous 8313/0. The stuff of nightmares. Twilight let out a low whistle. "Girls, she's going to be tough to beat..."

Rainbow's voice came in loud and clear to everypony. "Holy hay! Look at the number-one player!" Everypony clicked out of their menus, opening the scoreboard up. At the very top was a picture of a pure black stallion in light armor, the very image of terror. Even the faceplate had been changed to black. The cutie mark on the side of the armor was either not there at all, or the same colour as his armor. At the top of the profile, two words were lit in gold text. Split Screen. He was, to put it bluntly, untouchable. Zero deaths on field. No damage ever taken. Besides Pinkie Pie and Luna, he was the only player with no deaths. But it was his kill count that was to be feared. 9826/0.

"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" Pinkie screamed into her headphones. Her own was a rather impressive 8106/0, but she was a whopping one-thousand seven hundred kills behind. "Twilight, Fluttershy, you have to help me kill some ponies, fast! Let's join a game, and you rush them to me. I'll burn them when they get close by!"
"Now, hold on there, Pinkie," Applejack called into her mic. "Don't rush this, just find some new players to go against and get a few easy kills."
"Applejack, I don't think that's exactly sporting, is it?" Rarity shuddered at the thought. "Taking down the weak and inexperienced will get her nothing. I say she should gather up a weaker team and challenge us! We won't hold a grudge, the other players will get some good training, and Pinkie gets more practice and kills. She's already proven she can beat any of us, so we can't train with her. This Aegis fellow, now he sounds like a good competitor. Maybe you should team up with him and rally a horde to fight Split Screen?"

Twilight found one flaw in the logic. "Wait, wait, who'll organize them? Pinkie can't organize the laces on her snowboots!"
"You're just saying that so you can be team leader, aren't you?"
"No, Rainbow, I'm not. We always win in team fights because we each know what we're supposed to be doing. If there's nopony in charge, Pinkie's team will get destroyed!"
"An' how exactly do you know this, Twi?"
"Shining Armor is Aegis. He's led an entire ten-pony team against somepony he called 'the crack-shot colt.' Everypony got killed in five minutes, and only ten spells were fired. Split Screen, I'm guessing, is him. Look at his hit/miss ratio."

Once again, they each opened up the scorecard. Split Screen had never missed a shot. The chilling thing was his amount of spells fired. Nine-thousand, eight-hundred and twenty six. Every spell he'd ever cast killed somepony. "See, girls? Even my brother, who's better than most of us, got killed in one shot, along with another nine players. We can't compete against Split Screen by ourselves, or with some ragtag group of gamers. We need the best team we can muster to fight him." Nopony heard her. They were all transfixed by his record. "He never misses!?" Rainbow cried. "He won a one-on-ten match in only ten spells? Who is this guy?"

Twilight clicked on the "biography" button on her screen. Split Screen's personal details popped up.

Age: N/A
Gender: Male
Location: N/A
Breed: N/A
Coat: N/A
Mane/Tail Colours: N/A
Currently Feeling: Unrivalled
Cutie Mark: N/A
Interests: Haylo
About: I am Split Screen, destroyer of worlds. Come one, come all, play against me alone or in groups, and see what futility truly is.
Online: Yes.

"Well, he's an awfully... reclusive stallion, no?" Rarity clicked her hooves together uncomfortably.
"Geez, he's awfully sure of himself, huh?" Rainbow tried to suppress the jealousy she felt for his rank.
"More like full o' himself," Applejack remarked.
"Oh, my... I bet he plays like a dragon..." Fluttershy whimpered.
"Even Shining Armor and his nine best soldiers couldn't stop him, apparently..." Twilight shook her head. They'd need all fifteen of the sixteen player slots available to stand a chance against Split Screen.
"I know! Let's get a whole bunch of ponies together and stomp this guy!" Pinkie was smiling once more. "It'll be like a big old Pinkie Party! Only, not a party, more like a war against a super-accurate death-dealing pony soldier, but still! Let's get all the gamers in town to pitch in and finally tear this guy apart!"

Fluttershy liked this idea. "Pinkie? I know a few good gamers in town we should try. Applejack, can you ask Big Macintosh if he'll try? And Twilight, see if you can get your brother to help, too. With all the right ponies for support, Pinkie might be the first pony to ever beat this nasty Split Screen! I'll send word out to my other friends, and we'll see who's best for the job." Twilight had to agree, Fluttershy's method was surely their best hope. "Well, Pinkie, we've got some work to do if you wanna be gamer number one, huh?"
"Yeah! Wait, what are you gonna do?"
"Me? I'm going to lead the greatest virtual fighting force Equestria has ever known!"

To be continued...

Roll Call

Roll Call

A buoyant story by Blank Slate.
All character rights reserved by their owners. All rights to game concept of Halo copyrighted to Bungie.

Nestled comfortably in her beanbag chair, Twilight read through her friend's reports, having Spike chart down any details he would assume she would find relevant. "Big Macintosh. Player name Thor. Rank eighty-six of top two-hundred. Master with explosives and close-quarters combat, but simply refuses to use cover. He's a good fighter, but a bit of a liability. Next is Shining Armor, player name Aegis. Rank five of two-hundred. He and I play alike, but he's better at dodging attacks. He always forgets he has auxiliary and tertiary spells, though. Good support crew member, but not guard duty. Third, Doctor Whooves. Player name Bluebox. Rank thirty of two hundred. He's the best of anypony with taking down forcefields and throwing auxiliary spells, but almost useless when it comes to stealth. Good assault squad member.

"Continuing, we have Vinyl Scratch, player name Soundwave, rank twenty-eight of two hundred. Perfect assault squad pony, specializes in accurate shots with fast-firing spells. Knows when to use tertiary spells like the Super-Jump Pad or the PA-Mine. Useful anywhere on the field. Next is... Spike, you play Haylo?" The small dragon looked up from the scroll he was taking notes on. "Yeah, why? Everyone plays it. My player name is Inferno, and I don't think I'm ranked." Twilight checked her virtual scoreboard. The name "Inferno" appeared at slot one hundred and forty-four. Of any player, the hefty looking green unicorn in the profile picture had the most kills with fire-based weaponry. Surprised, Spike wrote his own name down on the list, writing beside it, "Suppressing fire specialist."

"Huh. I didn't expect you to be the type of dragon to play video games."
"Well, I need something to do with that TV you bought me."
"THANK YOU! Finally, somepony says it right!"
"What?"
"Umm... nothing. By the way, you're only six years old, right?"
"Yeah, I am."
"How'd you buy a copy of Haylo?"

The dragon smirked, brushing his spines back. "It's all part of my draconic charm." In his head, he went back to the day he first received the wonderful game. It had taken four hours of playing dress-up with Rarity to convince her he could handle the violent game, and he had sworn her to utter secrecy about his method of acquisition.
"Charm. Right. Anyways, you don't seem to be traumatized by explosive bleeding unicorns, so I'll let you keep playing."
"Thanks, Twilight. Now, who's next?"

Twilight consulted Fluttershy's list of gaming ponies. She got to the very last of the six names that had been recommended. "Closing the list off at a clean dozen fighters, we have Princess Luna, player name NightMare Moon. Ranked the second best of the top two hundred. Has been damaged once, by a mistimed auxiliary spell bouncing when it shouldn't have. Never been killed. No specialty, equally skilled with every spell available. She and Pinkie are what our hopes rest on. Hey, Spike, anyone find out who Bubble Beat is?"
"Yeah, that's Soarin', of the Wonderbolts. I wrote him a letter, but he said the Wonderbolts are in heavy training starting tomorrow, so he can't make it to our training and fighting days. I also sent a match request to Split Screen. That guy has a scary voice... Anyhoo, he said he'd be available everyday, starting at noon and going to ten at night. He's also free all day Sunday."

Twilight magically rolled her scroll up, satisfied with the crew she had assembled. "Alright then, we have our team and our time. Starting tomorrow, we'll have our tactics." She then pressed the massive button on the XBUCKS controller, stirring the machine into life. She went through the process of signing in and selecting Haylo from the various menus, shifting in her bean-filled seat. As soon as the choral music began, a chime rang in her ears and a mail notification appeared in the upper right corner of her screen. She moved her cursor onto it and opened it, being greeted by a wall of text of frightening size. She read through it and, in her naturally obsessive way, trimmed it down to its core contents. "Twilight, it's Rainbow. Big Mac is okay with the idea. The Doctor and Scratch are online too, busy training with Rarity and me. No clue where your brother has gone to. Letter sent to Canterlot for Princess Luna. Ill be on later, K?"

She could hardly resist the urge to write a response to Rainbow about the missing apostrophe in the word "I'll," but instead settled for a simple "Okay." She sent the message and promptly received a second. She opened this one again, happy to see the sender had some sense of how to write a letter.

"To Laser Lilac
From Bluebox

Greetings, Lilac. I've heard from Stealth Bomber that we're planning an assault on the infamous Split Screen, correct? My services were requested, and I'd gladly participate. If you wish for me to fight alongside you, magically connect my console with yours, please. Wireless resonance number 013RR76H83. Ms. Vinyl Scratch and I are already connected, so inviting one brings the other along. Eager to hear from you quickly,
Doctor Whooves (Bluebox)"
"Spike, check off Doctor Whooves and Vinyl Scratch. They're definitely with us."
"Bluebox and Soundwave, got it!"

Twilight opened the reply feature on her mailbox and went about the task of writing a response to the Doctor, but was cut off by another mail notification. Groaning, she selected this one, too.

"Twilight? It's Shining Armor. I managed to get Her Highness on our side for the invasion, but she wants that spot as much as your friend does. She obviously won't betray you, but do expect a deathmatch the second one of them kills Split Screen. Needless to say, I'm on board with the idea, but can't play past seven. Princess Luna's demand for her participation was that I join her side of the guard, and seven is when I start work. Apologies,
Shining Armor."

"Spike, that's Shining and Luna down as supportive. Put a note near the Princess' name, small script of course, that says 'Keep away from Pinkie Pie.'" He quickly scrawled the information down on his scroll before looking up to Twilight. "These two have some kind of grudge match?"
"No, the Princess just wants that spot too, and she and Pinkie can't both be number one. So, do you have your own XBUCKS?"
"Yeah."
"How'd you afford it?"
"You know those wages you never pay me? I took them from our profits."
"Hey! You can't just steal from a public building like that!"
"Why not? You haven't paid me in the three years since we got here, so I took what I thought was mine."

Twilight ignored him, focusing her magic on a large wooden statue of a horse's head. The bulky ornament floated over to her, rotating in the air so the mane was pointed across the room from her. She depressed a hidden panel on the bottom, which fell in and produced a large sack of gold coins, which she began to count out. "Two... Four... Six- You took four hundred bits!?"
"Hey, that's definitely less than adequate pay for three years of work, so no complaining. Besides, I'm helping you with Split Screen, right? I can't do that without my XBUCKS."

She thought on this for a second. "Well... we do need help... Aw, fine, you can keep the thing, but you're going to help us!" The small dragon saluted, rolling up the scroll and heading to wherever in the great tree of a library it was that he stored his TV and console. Done with any mail or baby dragons with money problems, she snuggled up more comfortably in her chair and activated multipony, extending her willpower through all of the Ponyville/Canterlot area. Ten XBUCKS consoles lit up in response. Everypony she requested signed in at the same time, to the exclusion of Big Macintosh, who had to wait for his sister to sign in on their single screen. She opened up the Battlefield Design menu and selected her favourite map, allowing everyone else time to get signed in to the Twi-Fi networ-

"Great, Rainbow, now you've got me doing it!" Before she could continue, ten blipping noises interrupted her, quickly follwed by one last one. [Players AGENT RAINBOOM, SOUNDWAVE, AEGIS, STEALTH BOMBER, BALLOONATIC, BLUEBOX, GLORIOUS, NIGHTMARE MOON, BLACKJACK, and INFERNO signed in]
[Player THOR signed in]

Ten voices chimed in her headset, "Hi!" Twilight looked up at the counters on her screen. One dozen skilled players, all in the top two hundred of all Equestria, all under her command. It was organizational euphoria! "Alright, everypony," she began, "I'm Laser Lilac. I'm going to be supreme commander over these training and practice days that we have ahead of us. I have no doubts whatsoever that a lot of you are more skilled than I am in combat, but I'm team leader of the most feared fighting squad known to Haylo. Elemental Forces?"

Five speaker icons lit up on everypony's screen. Five female voices all said "Yes?"
"Each of you find someone to pair up with and work alongside. Against somepony with the aim of Split Screen, we can't afford to leave our rears unguarded. I'll work with Aegis." Her five closest friends each took their time, considering their playing styles and who sounded like the best match.
"Alright. Do you have your combat buddy?"
A light green speaker appeared, and she could hear struggling. "Hold on, I'm still trying to get my claws into this... There we go!"
Now, the twelve icons formed into sets of two, each pair a different colour from the one above. Balloonatic and NightMare Moon's team was purple. Inferno and Glorious got brown, with much protest in a shrill voice. Blackjack and Thor got the red team. She and Aegis were on the white side. Soundwave and Rainboom were both happy with getting blue, leaving Bluebox and Stealth Bomber with the gold team.

"Everypony ready? I've enabled it so only I can modify terrain and spellbooks, so ask me if you need anything. Any deaths or damage incurred here will not affect scores, but neither will kills." The two ponies on the purple team groaned. "Sorry, ladies, but this is the only way to ensure that you're both still able to compete with Split Screen." A navy chat icon appeared on everypony's screen.
"Hold on! It seems to us that regardless of whomever strikes down Split Screen that we would be in first place! Our kill count is still superior to that of Balloonatic."
"Exactly," Lilac opened up her scoreboard, "So once this is all said and done, we'll all leave, and you two and Split Screen will be free to duke it out among yourselves. Eventually, somepony's going to get thwomped, and then we'll have a clear indication of who's the number one Haylo player in Equestria. Now, does this seem fair to everypony?"
"Eeyup."
"Good, then let's get started!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Twelve unicorns of differing sizes appeared in a circle, each standing next to one wearing the same colour. The two white unicorns stepped forward, with the taller one speaking first. "Alright, everypony, here's how we should start: Lilac here is the commander of the field, so she'll be in hover mode above the field. Send her a request if you need spell books, pamphlets, or tertiary scrolls. I myself will be monitoring the situation from the ground. and maybe lobbing a few surprise exercises your way.

"Split Screen is a master of long-range combat, the best I've ever seen. He will not miss. Stay under cover at all times, preferably with your flank to a wall so he can't get behind you. Puppy-guard any location with a Magic Missile, Hyper Beam, and most importantly, a Bird's Eye. That's his signature spellbook. There's two that are guaranteed on this map, one over on the high cliff in the east, one under the purple machines in the south. I expect full pairs guarding these books from both ends. Now, since spellbooks can respawn, a good idea would be to have one pony collect it and keep collecting it, so as to keep it fully charged and to make sure Split Screen doesn't collect it. I'm not sure how he behaves up close, so go nowhere without having your rear watched. We need to make these habits if we're to stand a chance against Split Screen."

A tan speaker appeared on all screens save the Doctor's. "Erm, everypony, I know he seems difficult, but this kind of training just doesn't seem justified. This is a game, not a boot camp."
"And yet, Bluebox, you still want to dethrone him, right?"
"Right, but I'd prefer it to be fun, not a mission. I just don't see the importance of this."
"The importance? We need to train and be the absolute best we can be to even stand a chance against Split Screen!"
"Yes, Aegis, I'm well aware of that. I'm also aware that we're playing a video game. A game. I mean, if this were a game of hopscotch, I don't think we'd be training all that much-"

Twilight decided to break the argument up. "Doctor, Shining, we don't need this kind of arguing! Let's just split into our groups and practice. Rarirty, er, Glorious! Take Inferno with you and grab a pair of Bird's Eye spells. Let's have everypony work on dodging sniping attacks. Rainboom and Soundwave, you attempt to blast them away with your own long-range spells. This is to develop sniping and countersniping routines. Bird's Eyes leave a thin trail of orange light leading to the caster. Follow that trail when you see it. Doubtless, Split Screen will move the second he fires, so look around wherever the beam starts at. Got it?"

Two female voices spoke as one. "Got it!"
"Great. Balloonatic, NightMare, you're our best hope. If anypony should practice dodging Bird's Eyes, it's you two. If you can weave around Glorious and Inferno's attacks, we'll know you can probably get past anything Split Screen throws at you. Everypony ready?" A chorus of "Yes!" met her ears. "Right, now let's do it! Game on!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spike aimed down the metaphorical barrel of his character's deep brown horn, pointing his equipped spell right on a black eighth-note on a mare's flank. With a single click of the button, her entire forcefield was depleted, and a private chat icon appeared on her screen.
"Soundwave, you have to stay behind cover if you're going for distance!"
"Look, scaly, I always charge in spells blazing. Sniping ain't really my thing."
"That might explain why you're the only player who's been damaged so far."
Vinyl had to admit, Spike had a point. As much as she wished she could charge his and Glorious' position, she had her orders. After ducking behind a rock, she zoomed in on the direction the beam came from. A brown helmet was poking over the tip of a stone barrier, just visible enough to warrant an instant-kill. She fired, and Spike's avatar flopped to the dirt. Spike shut down the private chat in response.

"Wow, you are good! Glory, now!" Glorious' character leapt over the rock, firing a beam of orange light right into Soundwave's faceplate without even bothering to aim. The DJ behind the controller was flabbergasted. "Bu... wh-... How'd you do that?"
"Attention to detail, darling. I saw where you fired from and cast my own spell there. Sniping isn't really that difficult if you know what to look for. Oh, there's Lilac."
"Good work, team! All four of you, NightMare and Balloonatic are in the centre of the field, near the trees. I wanna see a laser-storm out there." Once Spike had respawned, he collected the spellbook (heavily guarded by Laser Horn wielding apple farmers) and went to his nest. Rainboom, Soundwave, and Glorious were all waiting for him.
"Hey, Soundwave, how'd you get here so fast?"
"Lucky respawn. Now, let's shred those two!"

Luna and Pinkie's characters were in tatters. Not one of the dozen beams of light that fell near them had hit their heads, but their forcefields had depleted nearly to nothingness. In Canterlot Castle, Luna wiped her brow with the side of a foreleg. "Balloonatic, it seems to us they are slowing down. Wait, on your left!" Balloonatic jumped straight up, dodging an almost literal bullet that sailed clean under her, smacking into the side of NightMare and completely breaking her forcefield. She turned to the bouncing purple mare, her own horn glowing bright red as a spell charged. "WE DID NOT MEAN GET US ZAPPED!" The Hyper Beam discharged, but Balloonatic dodged this one too, bucking NightMare and giving her her first death. "Pbhhht! That was for trying to kill your own teammate!"

In the real world, lightning swirled around Luna as she did her best to control her anger. Dark clouds flashed, threatening to demolish half of her tower. As soon as she respawned, she picked up a Primal Shout book and went to find Balloonatic. She was stopped in a corridor, a shortcut she made frequent use of, by a pair of bulky red ponies with white blades emanating from their horns.
"State yer business," said Blackjack.
"We are trying to get back to our post, as designated by Laser Lilac."
"Thor, story checks out?"
After a minute in "private" chat, Big Macintosh turned to his sister, seated on the couch with him. "Eeyup."
"We really need another teevee, don't we?"
"Eeyup."
"Alright then, NightMare, you can go through."

The two red soldiers stepped to either side of the corridor, allowing the purple one to walk through past a floating orange tome.
"We believe you two are entirely too engrossed with your roles as guards."
"An' we believe y'all need to head back to school an' learn which pronoun goes where."
Thor's speaker lit up red, but the only sound was his snickering.

After firing another failed spell at the bouncing purple mare, Rainboom gave up. Her character trotted off to the side, hunting for the loaction of a spell she knew well enough. After much searching, a Magic Missile book was located and promptly collected, before being turned on Pinkie's hopping avatar.
"No more quiet and subtle- It's blasting time!"
Massive spheres of olive light made their way toward Balloonatic, who hopped nimbly out of the way of the first seven. The eighth and very last one, however, collided neatly with the rock she stood on, blasting her back a few paces.
"Ooh, good shot, Agent! You almost turned me into a-"
Before she could say whatever it was her character could have resembled, a shaft of orange light from Glorious' horn passed right through her helmet. Instead of the usual grunt of pain and ragdoll flopping, bright confetti burst from the wreckage of Balloonatic's head, with a sm all cheer from what sounded like a party of foals.

"Whoa, Balloonatic, what was that!?"
"Silly Lilac, didn't you play story mode?"
"There's a story mode? Did anypony else know about this?"
Pinkie was surprised by the simultaneous "No" from every other member of their group. "You mean you guys have only played multipony mode? But you miss all the great stuff like the little surprise skulls!"
"Skulls?"
"Yeah, like the things we constantly try to put explosive magic through! There's a whole bunch in the story mode! None of them besides the one I use has any point in multipony mode, and this one doesn't do anything important."
"What does it do, Balloonatic?"
"Anytime somepony gets a headshot on me, I explode with confetti and cheering for everyone!"
Aegis activated his chat. "Will it actually help us?"
"I guess so, but there's a problem. It'll damage things near me, so it can only help if Split Screen blasts me when I'm right next to him. Anypony have a plan to get me close to him?"

Twilight removed her hooves from her controller. "Leave that to me. We've had enough practice for the day, we'll try something new out tomorrow. Everypony, get yourself some rest. I think I know how we can stop Split Screen!" Her horn flared, bringing scrolls of parchment and quills flying as she traced the game map. Sniper nests, spellbook spawn points... this can't fail!

To be continued...

First Contact

First Contact

A strategic story by Blank Slate.
All character rights reserved by their owners. All rights to game concept of Halo copyrighted to Bungie.

Two more days of training passed by, with Twilight's new tactics being implemented. Glorious, as the team's best sniper, had volunteered to play as Split Screen for these demonstrations, and had been subsequently killed by each of the other eleven players multiple times. The strategy was simple, but never failed.

A three-way pincer attack. Stealth Bomber and Balloonatic would hide at the beginning of a match while Inferno, Bluebox, and Glorious collected long-range spells and formed a triangle in the sniper's nest at the centre. Blackjack, Aegis, and Thor would then guard the respawn points for any ranged spell with Concussion Pulses and Laser Horns. Acting as suppressing fire, NightMare, Lilac, and Soundwave would gather rapid-fire spells and lead the march on Split Screen's last ID'd location, with Rainboom drawing his fire in case of returned spellcasting. It was a brilliantly assembled plan, with an almost guaranteed victory. Split Screen would either be shredded by the assault squad, blown up by Balloonatic and Bomber, or cut through by the sniping trio. The only difficulty was finding Split Screen, but with twelve radar-charm equipped ponies across the map, he would certainly be spotted.

Six hours to go until the match began.
Three hours to go.
Sixty minutes to go.
Fifteen minutes.
Five minutes.
Five seconds.
The match began, interestingly, with diplomacy.

Slayer.

Thirteen unicorns stood on a lone cliff. Twelve faced one, a stallion in the lightest of armor painted the darkest of colours. His back was to the cliffside, and the mob made an impassable wall. A group of three white unicorns, Soundwave, Glorious, and Aegis, all had their horns pointed at his faceplate, but a lilac mare came in front of them.

"Split Screen."
The stallion in question gave a barking laugh into his headset. A black speaker appeared on everypony's screen and a menacingly deep, creaky voice began speaking. "Commander Laser Lilac, team leader of the Elemental Forces and also of your newest little alliance. I see your green friend there gave you my offer?"
"Yes. We wouldn't be here if we didn't agree to this fight. Tell me, do you honestly believe you can beat all twelve of us when this little truce times out?"
"I know I can. I'm the best player there is."
Blackjack stepped forward to Lilac's side. "Y'know, somepony with yer kinda skill oughta lead a team, not do everything alone."

"Applejack the farmer, no? You have pride issues too, so tell me- If you were the absolute best farmer in your family, and the others slowed you down, would you accept their workloads on the grounds that it would make the farm more efficient? It would surely mean more stress on you, but it would fill that pride to new heights. Would you repeat your little Applebucking Season escapade and prove you're the best, even at a cost to yourself?"

Applejack and Big Macintosh were at a loss for words.

"That is what I do. I have no need of teammates, as they are a liability. Spell-shields, that's all they're for. I do not miss. I do not die. By being alone, I have become the one-stallion team that can beat any opposition. The truce ends in five minutes, my little ponies. I recommend you prepare."
A tertiary spell, the Solar Flare, burst onto everypony's screen as Split Screen leapt from the cliff face, landing neatly on a rock just a few centimetres short of the damaging-fall zone. The white unicorns above reflexively sprayed Rapid-fire Round spellfire everywhere in the blinding light, but not a single green blast struck the vanishing stallion. Once the Flare had dissipated, Lilac turned and rallied her troops. "Now, what have we learned by analyzing what Split Screen said?"

Soundwave's chat icon appeared on their screens. "That all he cares about is himself?"
"That he knows exactly what he's doing?" offered Bluebox.
"That he knows who Ah am?" said Blackjack.
"Correct! All correct! He has no compassion or teamwork, so we can beat him with group attacks like the pincer plan. He can't snipe on all sides. Furthermore, we know he fights honourably, and his skills are not boasts. He can do anything in this game, and he knows it, so he's letting us arm ourselves as a challenge. Thus, we can't underestimate him. Finally, he's smart. He psyched out Blackjack, who normally can't be rattled by an earthquake. He's going to expect a method like ours, so be careful. Let's gather our spells, and get into position for the triple-pincer. Move out!"

Balloonatic's speaker appeared on everypony's screen, save Split Screen, and she took a deep breath.

"Oh, laser beams are flying past,
and all our friends are dying fast!
It's a dozen-to-one, it's not a fair fight,
But it's probably us who'll have to say go-"

"Pinkie! This is no time for a song!"
"Sorry, Commander!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Bluebox, how long has it been since the truce started?"
"Uh, thirteen minutes, forty-eight seconds, Commander."
Lilac looked at her squads. The snipers were safely nestled in various shelters. The two other hoof-soldiers brought their Ear-Piercers and Heat Rays to bear. The stealthy pair was safely hidden, wherever they were. Agent Rainboom was ready to break cover and draw fire. The guards were already monitoring the two orange books for any disturbances. All eyes were on Bluebox.

"Six... five... four... three... two... one... GO GO GO!"
The truce ended, and everypony took one pace forwards before Lilac keeled over, her skull pierced through by a ray of orange. Aegis heard the death, and quickly took over.
"Glorious, counter-fire!" A trio of blasts of light shot toward the origin of the fatal spell, a perfect row of death frying the general area that had just been Split Screen's shelter. In the real world, Twilight smirked, and set her controller on the floor. All had gone exactly as she had planned. Chop off the serpent's head, and the body will die, huh? You'll find we're no snake, Split Screen; I hate snakes. I was prepared for this.

Aegis, the second in command of the whole affair, began turning left and right, anxious to spot the stallion in black. His radar-charm was a swarm of blue crosses, with three moving to where their target had fired from. "Rainboom, take control of the grounders. Blackjack, Thor, any sign of Split Screen?"
"Nnnope."
"Good. Glorious, enemy in sight?"
"No, not yet. I thought I saw him just past that rock- there!"

Two beams of light flashed behind Split Screen as he ran, leaping over a rock and ducking a wave of Ear-Piercer fire. He hadn't expected a dual attack, but this wasn't the same as being unprepared for it. He looked through his equipment. One Bird's Eye, missing one charge. Two pamphlets of every type except fireballs. One Super-Jump Pad scroll. All he needed for the new move he'd developed. He jumped above the rock and deployed his trap as another wave of spikes passed overhead. All eyes were on him; nopony noticed the Jump-Pad scroll enscribed on the floor in front of the rock.

Good a time as any to try this out, he thought, casting one of the pamphlets into the Pad's area of effect. A jelly-bomb spell launched high into the sky, aimed to sail over the heads of the snipers. From her end, Glorious could see the genius plan failing. "Hold, everypony, he aimed it wrong! Split Screen missed!" The stallion in black laughed at her cheer, aiming his horn on the centre of the jelly-bomb as it began to approach them. A beam of light struck through the gooey magical mass, detonating it as it passed between the triad of snipers, blowing them from their respective perches and crushing them on the rocks far, far below.

Soundwave had seen the whole thing unfold. "Oh, snap! He shot an auxiliary in the flippin' air to blow it up, and knock them into death-by-falling territory! Guys, we are seriously outclassed here! I-I'm gettin' out"
"Hold on there, Soundwave! What happened?"
"Aegis, you didn't see it? Bluebox, Inferno, and Glorious just got tanked with one shot! Split Screen threw a jelly-bomb into a Jump Pad, and the thing went flyin'! Then, he shot it! He totally zapped the thing as it sailed over the sniper's heads and holy hay he's right in FRONT OF ME!" Soundwave tried to move, but she was too absorbed in the game to even twitch. Split Screen drew closer, stepping over the silently killed body of NightMare and brandishing a Laser Horn. Aegis could see her panicking from his small guard station.

"SOUNDWAVE, FIRE!"
Vinyl reflexively slammed her hooved into both sockets, firing metal spikes straight at the black monster. He jumped over the spray, swerving lightly to land beside her and run her through. In the real world, Shining Armor facehoofed twice. The snipers and now all the stormtroopers were gone. The stealth force, Rainboom, and the guards were all that remained.

"Hey, where is Rainboom?" Aegis quickly opened a private chat with her, and regretted it. "He's going to find me he's going to find me he's going to find me..."
"Agent Rainboom, focus! I see the stealth troops near you. Run right and weave around the cliff. No sniper can make that shot. While you do that, I'll lead Bomber and Balloonatic around- I can see Split Screen from here, but I can't make the shot." He leapt from the window of his station, ducking behind a rock and watching Split Screen's movements. The darker stallion stood absolutely stock-still, making Aegis wish he had taken the spellbook with him. Without warning, Split Screen jumped back as an auxiliary fireball passed under him, making its way into the side of a stone. Dual-cast Heat Rays landed all around him, the distinctive indigo flares forming patterns around him. Criss-cross. Figure of eight. A lightning bolt. No matter what array of energy assaulted him, Split Screen always ducked or hopped through unscathed. Eventually, Rainboom's spells ran out of power, and nopony had the range to take him down. Unless...

"Blackjack, got a bead on him?"
"Sure do, taking 'im out now."
Another beam of orange light burst from the bulky-suited unicorn's horn, aimed straight for the head of Split Screen, who ducked at the right time. Rainboom had stepped back to throw an auxiliary, and Split Screen didn't have time to aim in the craggy cliff, instead opting for ducking the projectile. Completely by chance, he dodged the beam, which settled for Rainboom's head instead of his own, killing her instantly. Once again, Applejack and Big Macintosh were speechless.

"Er..."
"Wow..."
"Sorry there, Dash..."

Split Screen turned, impressed that a shot nearly struck him. His decrepit voice was more horrifying now that there was cheer in it. "Well done, my country bumpkins, well done! You nearly had me on a platter there! When I kill you, I'll make sure to do it in a fun way, a way fitting for apples..."
"An' what's that?"
Another Jump-Pad, picked up from who-knows-where, hit the ground, launching Split Screen's auxiliary fireball plucked from somepony's corpse straight in the aperture Blackjack had fired from. The condensed magic filled the tiny room with fire and brimstone, melting the shields and armor of the two occupants.

"Roasting!"

A pink speaker appeared on his screen, and laughter filled his headset. "Heeheehee! That was funny, 'cause, 'cause... roasted apples! Hahaha!"
"Yes, Balloonatic, I'm sure they understood the irony. Now, where are you?"
"I can't tell you that, silly! If I tell you, you'll come find us and put holes in our heads!"
"Well... I suppose that's true. What about you, Stealth Bomber? Or you, Aegis? I know you're behind me. I've been watching you since you jumped from your post."
The white unicorn froze in his tracks. He was almost close enough to run Split Screen through, but the fact that he was aware of it shattered Aegis' plans.

He knows! I could step forward and slash him, but he'll probably dodge and headshot me! Or, or maybe he has traps set up around himself, so he can't be snuck up on! Maybe... "Captain Shining Armor, it's so unlike you to freeze up in a sticky situation. I have an idea; why not have an honourable duel? You and me, Laser Horns, now? The sound effects tell me you have one, and I always keep one as my reserve spell. Shall we?"

The black stallion spun in place, a forked blade of white light springing from his horn. Aegis leapt back, drawing his own spell onto the point of his horn. White and Black walked around in a circle, each mimicking the moves of the other. One jumped left; his counterpart jumped right. I can block his swings well enough... maybe the girls will get the picture and attack from behind? Shining Armor was sweating in the real world. This match was of epic proportions, the perfect way to finish off his foe. Deciding to risk it, he stepped forward and swung. Split Screen sidestepped, still not attacking. The energy on his horn hummed with every step as Aegis slashed and cut at him. Not one strike landed on the stallion in black, however. The duo continued the dance around the field, every thrust, lunge, and chop narrowly avoided. Split Screen timed his next move perfectly, jumping back and alighting on a rock.

"Excellent work there, Aegis. I see you deserve your spot on the list, as you are the first player I've ever killed who took more than one attack."
"What?"
Aegis' horn fell once more, dodged again by Split Screen, who quickly got behind him and tapped his controller's red button. Aegis' entire forcefield depleted from the kick, jarring his camera. As his view shook, Aegis got a good view of the corner of the arena. In the corner under his spell name, he saw a pink blur flash behind a rock, followed by a pale yellow unicorn laden with explosive spells. Shining Armor smirked. At least I distracted him, he thought, as the camera changed to a view of his character being slashed nearly open. A crackling bass voice came on the magical airwaves to his headset, and his alone.
"As I said, two attacks. Let's hope those two on the cliff there aren't so lucky."
Shining Armor groaned.

Balloonatic was worried. The current statistics showed that all ten of her allies beyond Stealth Bomber were dead, and as usual, respawns were disabled. She turned to her butter-coloured companion.
"Fluttershy? If we don't make it out of this alive..."
"Yes, Pinkie? Uh, Balloonatic, sorry..."
"I just want you to know..."
"Yes?"
"I'm the one who broke your birdhouse at the Arbor Day party."

Stealth Bomber was stunned by the sheer irrelevance of the comment. Indeed, so stunned she almost missed the fireball coming from the corner. Thinking quickly, she bucked Pinkie's avatar over the edge of the cliff face they stood on. Stealth Bomber was immolated immediately, but Balloonatic escaped only slightly harmed. Split Screen stood on top of the burning unicorn, laughing into his microphone. "My, my, how perfect! The element of Kindness sacrifices herself just to buy her friend a few more seconds of virtual life! Who else would do that? Balloonatic, I'm so touched by this, I'm going to give you fifteen seconds to attack me however you wish, no spells returned."

Balloonatic sprang from her crouch, her head poking up over the rock she had slid behind. "Really? That's awful nice of you! Be right up there!"
"How delightful..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The fifteen seconds had broken into five minutes as each player anulled the agreement, settling instead for scrambling for spells to use. Each had a full array of spells, pamphlets, and tertiary scrolls, and a massively open plateau was chosen as their battleground. Much as he had done with Aegis, Split Screen trotted in a circle, with Balloonatic copying his moves. Their equipment choices were radically different than what they typically used. Split Screen swayed side to side, the tip of his horn radiating red and black light indicative of the Hyper Beam. For a reserve, he could always fall back on the Laser Horn. Balloonatic, less concerned with how her stats would look, had gone with an old tactic, combining the Heat Ray with the Ear-Piercer for the perfect damaging device, but she had plenty of other tricks up her gauntlet.

Split Screen was the first to strike as the second duel commenced, leaping to the edge of the plateau and charging the Hyper Beam. The pony behind the controller was sweating. If this shot didn't connect, there would no longer be a 100% accuracy record, in addition to losing the all-important one-hit, one-kill record to Aegis. Balloonatic saw the beam charging and opened fire, sending indigo beams and metal slivers foward in a hurricane of death. Split Screen dropped to the side and ran headlong in a circle, Balloonatic's projectiles always scraping the point he was just ahead of. One or two came so close to the thin armor he thought they'd hit. With Balloonatic on the offensive, Split Screen performed his best dodges and swerves, avoiding the hail of irradiated steel that threatened to consume him. Soon enough, Pinkie's energy bars both read empty. Split Screen gave a mocking laugh.

"Tired already, sugar fiend? Then just stand still so I can end this!" His horn began glowing as the Hyper Beam charged, and Balloonatic's spells were drained. "Plan B time!"
"What?"
The Hyper Beam rocketed forward, straight into the path of Pinkie's jelly-bomb. Both unicorns were caught with the fringe of the explosion, but the beam had dissipated upon contact with the explosive. Split Screen and Balloonatic skidded back, each missing one quarter of their shields.

"You! You ruined my record! I swear, yours will be the most undignif- Oh, hay..."
Ballonatic's horn shimmered with olive light as she ran up to Split Screen, whose spell was still recharging. "See ya later!" Pinkie yelled into her headset as the Magic Missile launched at near point-blank range.

A pink unicorn corpse blew off the side of the plateau, and the wreckage of Split Screen's last-second Deployable Shield sputtered sparks. But he was alive. Balloonatic's suicide attack had failed, and although Split Screen was, for the first time, unshielded, his ace-in-the-hole had worked. The explosive shot had destroyed the shield the second it appeared, but enough force had been absorbed by it to render it nonlethal. He laughed as the final scores appeared, showing every member of Lilac's brigaid killed; one, even, by friendly fire. Although his one-hit-kills and times-unharmed counters were now 99%, Split Screen was delighted to see that Balloonatic's jelly-bomb was a valid target, keeping his accuracy at a level 100%.

"That was close. Balloonatic, we really must have another fight like that. Bring along Aegis, NightMare, and Laser Lilac next time. The four of you versus me. I think that's the only appropriate challenge. Weren't so many of your friends just... liabilities?" The chat turned to open mode. "Lilac, I'm impressed. You likely knew I'd kill you first, and had your strategy hinge on it, right?"

There was no response, as Twilight had left her game running while fixing a snack. Split Screen continued regardless. "Silence, Ms. Sparkle? Very well. Aegis, you and NightMare are listening, right?"
"Yes, we are. We can't get out of the menu until everyone stops chatting."
"Good; a captive audience. You four against me for our next game, alright?"
"We accept! Thou shall face wrath unparalleled for our defeat!"
"Oh, spare me. You four versus me, two days from now, one o'clock p.m. Best get practicing."

[Player SPLIT SCREEN signed out]

To be concluded...

Final Boss

Final Boss

A nutritious story by Blank Slate.
All character rights reserved by their owners. All rights to game concept of Halo copyrighted to Bungie.

It was Monday. A plain and simple Monday. A Monday nopony would forget. Five unicorns stood on the same clifftop as they had before. Navy, white, purple, pink, black; the colours of some demented rainbow. Lilac's troop once again had Split Screen boxed in against the sheer face of the cliff, but he was not worried. The others held to their truce.

"So, Laser Lilac..." The croaking voice began, "How do you intend to beat me? I know now what each of you is capable of. Shall we go in duels, two-on-one? Will you all just blast me from this cliff? Under the current rules, you each get one life, same as me, correct?"
"Correct"
"You'll wish you had more, Lilac."
"How sure of yourself are you?"
"I'm positively positive that I could kill each of you twice before you can finish me once. It's a veritable one-on-four fight right now. I've beaten you with worse odds against me."
Aegis' chat icon appeared on their screens. "Twiley, Split Screen, can we just get on with it? I mean, I like the dramatic meeting between the generals as much as the next guy, but really, aren't we just here to zap each other?"

The two commanders stopped talking. A stern female voice took over. "Indeed, this game must not be delayed any further, lest we grow further bored and leave!" Split Screen gave his signature barking laugh. "Are you really bored, Your Highness? Or are you scared? I walked right into your faceplate and slashed you. And you just stood there and accepted it. Soundwave did much the same, but at least she had the guts to continue fight-"

Split Screen was knocked from the cliff onto the same rock as before by NightMare's auxiliary spell. A derisive laugh met her as she leapt down to fight him, hoof-to-hoof. "Really? You break a truce because you're scared? Let's see how you do without your teammates failing to watch your rear."

Lilac stepped in front of her other two comrades, barring them from joining NightMare. "Sorry, guys, but she has to do this alone. We can kill Split Screen after. Hey, I've got an idea... Make sure Split Screen and Luna keep fighting, and take her place if you need to. I'll go track down some good killer spells."
"Roger."
"Yes, ma'am."

Aegis and Balloonatic stood on the cliffside, watching NightMare Moon's attacks fail. Every Rapid-fire Round was dodged with Split Screen's unnatural grace, and every lull in the spellstorm punctualized by a buck to the faceplate, destroying the navy mare's shield but never killing. In the dark tower of Canterlot Castle, Luna's wrath once more manifested as dark clouds, booming thunder at volumes that shook the headset clean off Shining Armor. Resetting it, he glanced over his shoulder to the trembling ceiling. "Yeesh, she'd better not kill me, or she's playing alone next time. Obviously."

Laser Lilac had run off to the northern corners of the map, well-known breeding grounds for prime spellbooks. Glancing down from a high perch, she took note of what she saw. Caches of pamphlets under an overhang to the side. Two indigo spell tomes hovering in place near a crashed purple flying machine. Nothing of any value to anypony. Twilight complained to nopony in particular and dashed off to another vantage point, dropping a lavender speaker onto Aegis' screen.

"Hey, Shiny, how's she holding up?"
"It's awful, Commander. Split Screen's playing off of NightMare's gamer rage. I swear, he's laughing his head off! Every spell she fires, he just hops out of the way and kicks her again. He's, he's just toying with her... She's the second greatest gamer in Equestria, and he's using her as a plaything. I think the Doctor was right, maybe we are getting overworked about a game." Twilight adjusted her mic to speak, but whatever she was about to say was drowned out by Balloonatic.
"Commander! Yellow book, on your six!"

Lilac spun in a neat half-circle. Sure enough, the yellow book floated on a precarious ledge. The lavender mare immediately ran for it, knowing the advantage it would hold. The Unmentionable spell- A high capacity, long-range, pony-tracking, overpowered explosive with immense anti-shield properties. Even Split Screen couldn't stand a chance against a direct blast from this, the mother of all things destructive. In the real world, Twilight had to suppress an urge to squeak with joy at how Celestia herself seemed to be giving her the golden ticket necessary to take down the black stallion.

Over on the opposite end of the field, NightMare was up to her final gambit. All spells were drained. All auxiliaries were already thrown. She had no tertiary spells in reserve. As Split Screen's horn grew into the infamous forked shape of the Laser Horn spell, she threw her wildcard. Split Screen's entire shield went down as NightMare died, slashed through mid-kick. Split Screen threw a Jump-Pad scroll beneath himself, rocketing him into the air as a hail of spellfire struck the position he had occupied not half a second earlier.

Split Screen's controlling pony let out a sigh of relief, one everypony besides Luna could hear. "Balloonatic, Aegis, what happened?"
"Lilac, NightMare's down, but we have S.S. on the run! We've struck him a few times, and his shield's totally gone. We're gonna win this thing!" A tink noise followed Shining Armor's comment, the unmistakable sound of a fireball pamphlet bouncing off a flat surface. A second later, all was fire as the auxiliary detonated, scathing Aegis and Balloonatic as they passed and damaging their shields. With both screens on fire, neither saw the shaft of orange light erupting from the black stallion's horn. The Bird's Eye fired, striking Balloonatic right in the middle of the blue balloon on her rear. Her shield crumpled, she fired off a few more Critical Crystal rounds and a jelly-bomb for good measure.

When their shields replenished and the virtual inferno had calmed, there were no corpses, nor any sign of the stallion in black.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Spike, what's going on?"
"Look!"
The remaining seven fighters of Lilac's former regiment all crowded around Spike's TV. The small dragonling had found a way of watching all that happened from a third-person angle above Lilac's right pauldron. The lavender mare was dashing around from cover to cover, constantly making her way up to higher ground before zooming in for a second, scouting, and moving on to a new post. Rainbow Dash had no idea what was happening.

"What's that featherbrained egghead think she's doing? Split Screen's over near Aegis and Balloonatic, and- Can we stop using our tags when we're not playing?"
Six ponies and a dragon nodded consent. "Thanks. Now, what's happening? Why isn't she tracking Split Screen down with the others?" Spike reached for a bag of marshmallows hidden inside his favourite chair, slowly roasting them for the others to enjoy. "Twilight got herself an Unmnetionable, and now, she's trying to snipe Split Screen with it!" The seven equines each raised a hoof in support, cheering her username inspiringly. "Laser! Lilac! Laser! Lilac!"

Downstairs, Twilight shrugged off her headset. "Would you all please stop that!? I'm trying to- How'd you even get in here!? Spike!" A hatch put in the ceiling next to a collapsible ladder opened up. "Yeah?"
"You let ponies in without even asking me!"
"They're your fans! Well, they were cheering for Pinkie Pie when I brought them up, but nevermind that."
Twilight began an eloquent rebuttal when her game blipped the familiar blip of a chat screen. The speaker was the colour of moonless midnight.

"Commander Lilac, you shouldn't leave your avatar unattended for even a second against a master like myself." She panicked, immediately jabbing at her controller and escaping Split Screen's spell with only a half-damaged shield. The creaking voice cut into her newly remounted headphones, "Next time, you'll get no warnings. Now, keep your head in the game." The chat cut off and Twilight's shield began re-energizing. The studious mare shook her head and doubled her focus, moving in zigzags to confuse any would-be assassins. She weaved around trees, slithered over stones, and hopped over the broken machinery present on every map until she saw it.

Atop a nigh unscalable cliff was a pillbox-style gunnery, perfectly hidden from view unless you knew where to look. Glancing around for the intimidating equine in the black armor, she began her arduous trek to sniping heaven.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Balloonatic's crystal spell was beginning to anger Split Screen. Every few seconds, one of the pink projectiles would thud into the forcefield that invisibly cloaked his armor, keeping it from refilling. Currently, the bar was only half-full, and Aegis' pursuit made standing and fighting an invalid option. Split Screen's player sighed dejectedly. All he wanted was a fun match without anypony believing they could kill him. Was that too much to ask? The left control stalk swivelled in place and a Bird's Eye was fired after only a split second of aiming, catching Aegis on the bottom of a hoof.

His aim is slipping... Aegis thought as he continued corralling Split Screen around Balloonatic's upraised position. The pink pony spun around, following Split Screen with a barrage of the deadly pink crystals, dying for the chance to watch him detonate. An auxiliary fireball was launched her way as she released the firing button, grazing the side of her helmet and reducing her shields to fifteen percent. Split Screen knew she had taken damage from the attack, quickly plotting out his scheme.

Three things occurred at once. Split Screen stopped his running, turning to face Balloonatic regardless of the crystals approaching his faceplate and the white stallion charging from behind. His horn began glowing orange, and the very tip of a beam of light began to shoot forth. And, unexpected to the dueling duo, Aegis had chosen that moment to leap and run Split Screen through. The orange blast connected with the white unicorn's skull, slaying him in mid-leap. His corpse, already bleeding, was desecrated further as it fell in the path of Balloonatic's salvo. Both surviving ponies gasped at Aegis' unfortunate timing.

"Wow! Tough break there, Pinkie; I nearly gave you the honour of dying by my hooves! Looks like the captain there got first dibs."
"Ugh, would you just be quiet and play? You're like a big bragging braggy-pants; you don't have a team because they can't stand your bragging, not because you're too good!" This struck a hidden nerve with Split Screen, who unloaded three more spells at Balloonatic, each missing widely. "You shut up! I am Split Screen, the most excellent equine gamer to ever touch a controller! They couldn't handle their jealousy at my raw skill! I've never been killed, I never fail, and I never miss!" The irony of the situation dawned on Split Screen's player, and his croaking voice quieted some. "Oh... hay..."

Pinkie Pie was laughing in the real world as the deadliest sniper missed humiliatingly. "Nuh-uh! You just missed me three times! Whoop!" She barely crouched in time to dodge the next beam, angering Split Screen further. "Run, you pink airhead, run!" Split Screen leapt up to her position, his horn switching from orange to white light, a forked blade appearing with an electric crashing noise. Pinkie took the hint and sped away, the ground behind her flaring up with auxilary spells of every variety.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Laser Lilac slipped off the nearly invisible ledge for a third time. She'd heard of this place before, even been killed from it twice, but she had no idea of how the pony snipers made their way into the pillbox at the top of the mountain. She'd scaled the craggy faces of the cliff, ascended the hidden ladder, and even traversed a series of wafer-thin girders to get to the forty-five degree ledge. Each time she jumped, her unicorn avatar would slide back down, but she persevered. Upon the surmounting of this obstacle, she immediately came under auto-turret fire. "Oh, come on!" She shouted, to nopony in particular, before running under the crystal obelisk.

With nopony in the crystalline turret's aiming field, its spells stopped firing and the device whirred to a calm, giving Twilight the freedom to skulk over to the pillbox. She swapped spells to the classic Rapid-fire Round, spraying the floor with flashes of green light. Sure enough, three PA-Mine spells exploded, traps doubtlessly laid by the saturnine sniper. Satisfied with her work, Twilight took a position at the concrete bunker's aiming slot, zooming in on the warring unicorns below.

Laser Horn spells clashed as Baloonatic and Split Screen battled their bout. Every thrust was met with a parry, every blow riposted by the other's humming horn. The deflective nature of a Laser Horn fight kept both ponies at full forcefield strength, but in truth, each would have scored a century of kills by this point. The pink mare swept past a poorly timed swipe from Split Screen's horn, kicking him upside the head and leaping to the side opposite Twilight's position. A tiny lavender triangle notified Balloonatic where her C.O. was perched, giving her an idea for a perfect takedown, not to mention a dramatic conclusion to the brief but exciting battle.

"C'mon, Splitty! Surely one little baker isn't that hard for the best gamer in Equestria!" Split Screen was furious now, brandishing his horn and charging with a menacing cry towards Balloonatic. Pinkie giggled, opening the chat menu as the black stallion rushed her. "Commander Lilac? Put 'im down!"

Split Screen, however, was no fool. The pink speaker had appeared on his screen too, warning him of a sneak attack. He considered his positioning on his mental map. He was on the western valley's peak, not too far from the river. There were three good sniper nests around, but two were down by the river a good eighty metres below. This left the pillbox. Split Screen knew he couldn't dodge an attack from such a point with a mere jump.

What happened next was spoken of by Haylo players for months afterward.

The lightly armored stallion continued his charge, derailing Pinkie's plan, which called for him to turn and dodge Lilac's attack, exposing himself to a thrust from the pink mare's horn. Instead, he kept running, throwing a plain explosive pamphlet underneath the shocked pony's hooves. Split Screen leapt above her, the resultingexplosion catapulting both himself and Balloonatic's mangled body into the air, where the surviving battler took a shot in a quadrillion.

Without aiming, he spun in the air and fired off his third-to-last Bird's Eye round before closing his eyes as Twilight's seeking Unmentionable cast approached.

Twilight was pleased with herself. Although she was all alone in killing Split Screen, she had done it. The overpowered ball of yellow light was on its way to Split Screen's face, and the airborne stallion had no way to d-
"BOOM HEADSHOT!"
A ray of orange light ran clean through Lilac's head and out into the back wall of the pillbox. With the last of her team dead, the game concluded fifteen milliseconds before Split Screen was destroyed. Barking laughter boomed into her headset; with the game officially over before the fatal blast blew the stallion apart, the kill did not count. Split Screen's kill total was still, by the rules, absolutely zero. The final scores appeared on everypony's screen, showing Split Screen victorious with his out-of-left-field explosive-jumping no-scoper headshot. Twilight shrugged and took a calm breath, activating a chat with Split Screen.

"I'M GOING TO BURN YOUR FAMILY TO DEATH FOR THAT, YOU MOTHERBUCKING PIECE OF GARBAGE!"
Split Screen just laughed, the last sound he heard from Twilight being that of an XBUCKS console flying through a television set.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two miles away, Split Screen's player rest the controller on the floor. A wistful sigh in the same croaking voice. A crick of the neck, a flick of the hooves before more hoarse laughter. The grand finale, it was true, had terrified Split Screen, but somehow, the spell made its mark. Another peal of barking laughter. Split Screen's very first death, totally cancelled by fifteen milliseconds of luck. The record remained as being totally smudge free. And the four most skilled ponies, to the exclusion of Bubble Beat A.K.A. Soarin', were thoroughly routed. The creaking laugh resounded around the house once more, slowly fading from a wizened bass tone to a girlish giggle. A lone hoof landed on a set of lips in thought.

"Whoopsie! Poison Joke must be wearin' off!"
Derpy Hooves took another of her favourite blue flower from a box by her side, eating one of the petals. Her slightly slowed, filly-like speech pattern became that of a grizzled old stallion due to the toxin running through her larynx. Her giggle became a haunting, croaking bark as she turned herself back towards her XBUCKS. The two televisions set at either side of the room lined up perfectly with her off-centre eyes, leading to her trademark tag.

"Hey, ponies, know what time it is?" She chanted to herself before joining a random group forming for a multipony game.
"It's Slayer time!"

FIN

Read First: A Note from Blank Slate

'Allo there everypony, just here to give you some tips for reading my mess of a story a bit better. Mostly, I'll just clarify the names a bit.

Twilight Sparkle is Laser Lilac.
Rainbow Dash is Agent Rainboom.
Rarity is Glorious.
Applejack is Blackjack.
Doctor Whooves is Bluebox.
Vinyl Scratch is Soundwave.
Pinkie Pie is Balloonatic.
NightMare (Yes, one word) Moon is Luna
Spike is Inferno.
Fluttershy is Stealth Bomber
Shining Armor is Aegis.
Big Macintosh is Thor.

Knowing these names will make reading easier for ya. Thank you kindly for reading.

Plug In

Plug In

A strange story by Blank Slate

All character rights reserved, of course, by Hasbro, Lauren Faust, likely, and Bungie for the excellent voice that says “Slayer” when you play Halo. That is just so nice to hear every once in a while. If you find any errors, it would be nice if you put them in the comments. Er, onto the story.

[Player LASER LILAC signed in]
In bright purple letters, the message blipped onto Twilight Sparkle’s screen, a small noise playing in her earphones. The normally studious unicorn had to repress an urge to laugh at the irony of her situation. The most thoroughly dedicated student in Equestrian history now spent her research time plopped in a beanbag chair, a white oblong of plastic across her lower legs. A hoof stroked down the side of the smooth device, touching the four shiny coloured buttons affectionately. The two cupped sticks, perfectly formed for a mare’s hooves to fit into, seemed to jiggle lightly in their sockets at her touch, as if to say to her, “Toggle us! Toggle us!” Across the centre of the device, a massive pink X was encased in a silver circle, broadcasting to the world exactly what it was and who had made it.

The XBUCKS 360. The most wonderful machine she had ever amused herself with. Infused with the magic of billionaire unicorn Gilded Gates, a master of electrical magic theory, the smooth white box had capabilities she wouldn’t have believed existed. She still remembered how she had been introduced to the rectangular deity that was the XBUCKS four months earlier.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“C’mon, Twilight, give the thing a try!”
Rainbow Dash had the most pleading look she could muster in her eyes, her wings drooping as Twilight turned the offer down once more. “I’m sorry, Rainbow, but I can’t. I’m too busy with my studies on pandimensional communication techniques to play any games.” The cyan pegasus waved the white plastic tray in her friend’s face. “But, but look at it! This controller is awesome! See, ya put it on your legs like this,” she fluttered on to her hooves, then dropped on her flank, setting the tray-shaped device across her legs. “And then, you put your hooves in these little cups- they say the left one usually moves you, an’ the right one changes how you see.”
“Rainbow, how’s it going to move my piece for me if it doesn’t touch anything?”
“No, Twilight, it’s not that kind of a game. They’re called video games.”

Twilight looked to her, confused. “Video games? The next evolution of board games, I assume?” Rainbow’s eyes were sparkling as she gushed, “Next evolution? They’re millions of light-years ahead of board games!”
“Rainbow, a light-year is a measurement of distance, not time.”
“See, that’s the egghead thinking that keeps you stuck on board games. Look, you put the XBUCKS near another new thingy called a ‘teevee’ and put these little wires in the back of it. Ya turn ‘em both on by pressing the little buttons, and magic makes the teevee light up with all kinds of stuff, depending on what game you put in the XBUCKS.”
Twilight facehoofed, shaking her head and brushing her mane from her eyes. “Rainbow, how are you supposed to put a game board into that thing?”
“No, featherbrain! See, the games are on these little silvery circles, sorta like a Frisbee. Besides, this isn't the XBUCKS, it's just the thingy you control it with. I already bought the teevee and the XBUCKS, and now I just bought a game they say is gonna be epic! You have gotta see me try it out!”
“What’s the game called?”
“Haylo.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Twilight felt the familiar warmth as her magic enwreathed her hooves and formed into pads at the bottom. Trembling, she set a hoof onto the fluffy clouds Rainbow Dash called home. She never doubted her magic, but she had had Rarity’s help the first time she tried the Cloud-Walking Charm, and wasn’t sure she could pull it off solo. Delighted that the vaporous water held her weight, the lavender unicorn leapt from her balloon. The clouds bounced under her before settling into a semisolid path towards the three-story citadel.
“Welcome to- pause, for dramatic effect- the DashCave!
“Really, Rainbow? I mean, you built it nicely, but I don't think your house needs a name..."
“What? It’s awesome, and so am I- therefore, the name is justified. Now let’s get started!” The eager athlete turned her key in the fluffy white door, opening it wide. Inside, all Twilight could see was more cloud, the lack of outlines preventing her from seeing if the room was furnished or not. Everything was pure white and wispy, except for a big black box in the corner, with a smaller white box beside it, already plugged in.

This was Twilight’s first chance to see the machine up close. A slightly off-white rectangle of plastic, with transparent sections forming a ring within a ring. Probably for magical lights and sounds, Twilight thought. As she inspected the machine, Rainbow opened her shopping bag, pulling out a transparent pink box with absurdly detailed art on the cover. It showed two unicorns in mechanical looking armor under an ashy sunset. Overhead, massive lumps of metal swerved and zoomed. In the background, more unicorns pointed up to a hilltop, where stood the single largest unicorn Rainbow ever thought she’d see somepony draw. His armor was green, his face hidden by a sheet of orange reflective glass. Even the horn was coated in green metal, giving no clues whatsoever to the appearance of the massive stallion inside the suit.
Done with her investigation, Twilight looked over the cover artwork. “Wow, a-are they robots or something?”
“No, I don’t think so. It’s called ‘power armor,’ some kinda weird magical armor that’s heavier than stone but twice as strong. It runs on the wearer’s magic, so you have to play the game as a unicorn. Now, fluff up a chair and we can play!” Rainbow pulled at the floor, yanking a large tuft of cloud from it and sculpting it into a throne. Twilight did mostly the same, substituting the enormous seat for a simple pillow, albeit a very large one.

“Alrighty, I think I’m ready. So, how do you play?” One of the white oblongs Rainbow had bought fell into Twilight’s hooves. “Alright, ya put these little cups on your front hooves, and use them to steer yourself. Hit these buttons with your back right leg to do different stuff, depending on what the game says.” She opened the instruction manual, scanning the controls. “Alright, there’s little buttons inside those cups. The right one says ‘use magic’ and the left is ‘zoom.’” Twilight nodded her understanding, and Rainbow Dash held the pink X on her controller down. The XBUCKS console’s clear portions glowed pink in response, and the black box above, the teevee device Rainbow had mentioned, clicked into life. A hidden compartment on the white box opened up, allowing Rainbow to pop the Frisbee-like disc of silver in. After a few seconds, the word “VIDEO” disappeared from the television's screen, instead replaced by a silver ball whooshing across the screen before coming to a halt, a pink X flared across it. Beneath the sphere, the phrase “Marecrosoft XBUCKS 360” faded onto the screen. Rainbow squealed with anticipation.

Somber choral music started up, a row of tenor stallions chanting together. In almost lifelike detail, the pony from the cover art, High Command, stood tall, his faceplate reflecting the sights of beams of light flaring across the sky. Rainbow and Twilight oohed and ahhed at the display before suctioning the controllers onto their front hooves. Rainbow pulled her left leg back, and the word ‘multipony’ lit up in response. She selected a few options faster than Twilight could read them, and laid back. “I dunno how we really play this game, it just said to use magic on other players until you or your team win. Oh, look! It’s gonna start!”

The screen went from dark to light, showing two unicorns in lavender and cyan suits of the same power armor High Command wore. In the top left corner of each of their halves of the screen, "Rapid-fire Round," a combat spell Twilight knew well, was lit in pale green. Suddenly, a stallion called out from the screen in a voice that sent chills down their spines and sped their heartbeats up.

Slayer.

To be continued…

Slayer

Slayer

A peculiar story by Blank Slate.
All character rights reserved by their owners. All rights to game concept of Halo copyrighted to Bungie.

One lavender hoof pulled the left stick back. The realistic purple-suited unicorn on the screen took a step back. Twilight pulled on the right stick. The view shifted to the right slightly, allowing her a view down her avatar's side. It looked exactly like High Command, but in a soft shade of purple. As much as she liked it, there were some issues she had with her depiction.

"Rainbow, why am I a stallion?"
"Eh, sorry, Twi. I'm not really sure how you change that stuff. The advertisements all said you can change colours and shapes and even get your cutie mark printed on your armor. Let's figure it out after we do... whatever it is ponies do in this game."

Rainbow pushed the left stick towards the TV, or teevee as she prefered, and her character broke into a run. "Alrighty, I got my movin' down. Left, right, easy. Now, right stick thingy to use magic, right?"
"I think so."
Rainbow pushed the small gray button hidden in the controller's right stalk. Her character's horn lit up the same pale green as the spell's name and fired a single ball of light forward at a blistering speed. Next to the portion of Rainbow's HUD that held her currently equipped spell, a pale green meter in the shape of a book lost a small portion of its colour. "Whoa, awesome! Twilight, did you see that?"
"Yeah, I did. It looks just like the Rapid-fire Round spell I learned in school."
"What's it do?"
"It's a weak spell, but it's the most basic combat magic anypony knows. The caster fires pebble-like magic toward the target, causing minimal damage, but a held stream can be devastating to a pony. I'm guessing all our abilities are going to be based off real magic, then." Twilight barely managed to suppress her smile as she imagined what other magic would be in this game.

"So, it's more effective if you keep it going?" Twilight nodded. Rainbow clicked the small button again, holding it down a few seconds longer than before. Her avatar's horn glowed again, and a dozen green projectiles shot forth in the space of a second. "Haha, yeah! This is great! Oh man, I hope there's more spells to find!" Twilight had to admit, the game was great so far, and they had only just discovered the basic mechanics of it. Twilight's avatar now moved exactly as she wanted it to.. She spun her left hoof clockwise. The armored unicorn spun in place. Easy-peasy. A glimmer of light reflected off the red coloured button as she shifted in her fluffy chair. Curious as to their intended functions, she tapped her right back leg against one of the coloured buttons. Her character sprang up a good two feet. "Ooh, Rainbow, press the green button to jump!"
"I saw. What do the others do?"
While Rainbow's character ran around willy-nilly, spraying magical gunfire across every available surface, Twilight tapped each button in order. "Green makes you jump, the red one makes you kick in front of you, the blue doesn't do anything, and the yellow one seems to do nothing as well. Hey, try to find me!"

Adapting quickly to the controls, Twilight tilted her camera upward, following the pinpoint reticule up to a cloud. She then depressed the right stalk in, firing a constant rush of green missiles upward. On Rainbow's half of the screen, a jagged line of green light shot skyward a short distance away. "Ok, keep doing that, and I'll try to make it over there." Jumping a few times for practice, Rainbow moved her virtual self over to the lilac armored pony. It was easier than she thought. The pegasus' unicorn character bounced around Twilight's a few times, taunting her.

"Hah, made it in three seconds flat! C'mon, let's see if you can catch me!" Still firing, Twilight turned her camera down to face Rainbow's avatar and run after her, unintentionally pointing the spell straight at her friend's faceplate. Rainbow's half of the screen became a maelstrom of green light, warning beeps, and flaring red light as a bar that appeared on the screen drained itself rapidly. She had no time to react before the stallion on the screen groaned and keeled over, dead as a doornail. Twilight pushed her controller away from herself, horrified.

"Oh, sweet Celestia, I just killed somepony..."

Rainbow's jaw had dropped the second her avatar died, and she turned to Twilight. "Wait, we're supposed to kill each other!? What kind of game is this!?" The real Twilight's horn glowed magenta, and the container for the game levitated to her side. She read over all the details she could, stopping at a white box in the corner. She read it aloud. "Warning, this game is rated M for Mares and Stallions. Contains excessive violence, gore, and coarse language. Do not sell to or permit anypony under the age of eighteen to play this game. Rainbow, I think this is a war game!"

Before Rainbow could respond, a timer began beeping and counting down. After four seconds, the cyan stallion regenerated in a new location. "Awwwww YEAH! Back from the dead to take names and kick flanks! Oh, hey, check that out!" Slightly to the left of her character's view, a navy-coloured book hovered and rotated, radiating light. The cover bore a picture of a duck in a crosshair. Twilight wrested the manual from the pink box, opening it to a section marked "Hooves Up Display." She began skimming it, finding it full of semi-obvious information. Turning a few pages, she found what she was searching for. "Okay, here's the section on magic. Let's see... Okay. See that book in the corner of your screen?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
"It says the book will lose its colour as you use your magic, eventually emptying and rendering the spell useless. 'Take books from the open world or from the bodies of your foes to replenish your energy.' It even has a guide showing what the different spells look like and do. That blue one there is the Primal Shout spell. 'A powerful, medium-high-cost spell that shreds nearby enemies to ribbons. At range, deals less damage than hurtful words. Penetrates defenses equally.' Here, pick it up, and try to find me again."

Rainbow obliged, running her character over the floating tome. The avatar's horn now shimmered with deep blue light, and the colour of the book in the upper corner of her screen switched to navy. Beside it, the legend 'Primal Shout' appeared in the same hue. It took Rainbow little time to find Twilight again, this time keeping her distance. "Alright, let's try it out. Cast the spell at my pony from there, and we'll see how it works."

Rainbow snickered and opened fire. BOOM! Her character shouted, and small rays of navy light spread across her screen. Two hit Twilight, causing her health bar, as she now knew it was, to appear and decrease by eight percent. "Aww... Is that all it can do?"
"No, it says the closer you are to the target you wish to hit, the greater damage it will take. Step closer and try again." Rainbow's avatar trotted closer, almost to contact distance, and shouted again. Four seconds later, Twilight's deceased avatar flopped back to the earth it had been forcefully catapulted from, blood spattering the ground as it landed. The two friends stared at the screen.

"Hey... Twi?"
"Yeah?"
"I think it's right about getting closer and being stronger."
"Me too."
"Yeah... Geez, that was messy. What other spells have we got to play with?"

Twilight focused her magic on the manual, copying the 'Spellbook' page's information into a hologramatic projection five times the size of the original. Rainbow's eyes scanned through the selection of different magical artillery.

Green book- Rapid-fire Round. The most basic spell. Fires fast, but pales at range. Useless against forcefields, brutal to armor. Start matches with this automatically.
Blue book- Primal Shout. A powerful, medium-high-cost spell that shreds nearby enemies to ribbons. At range, deals less damage than hurtful words. Penetrates defenses equally.
Orange book- Bird's Eye. An immensely powerful, super-accurate spell used for long-distance strikes. Eats up energy like none of your business, but if aimed at the head guarantees a kill. Does not fire quickly whatsoever, pointless at melee distance.
Black book- Fire Breath. Keep a constant stream of flames on a target to set them alight, causing damage over time. Low cost-per-use, but diminshes quickly as spell is eneffective unless held down. Minimal range.
Red book- Hyper Beam. The most expensive spell of all. Fire a red-hot rail of death in a perfectly straight line across any kind of distance. Guaranteed kill on contact. Will only work five times before draining reserves. Must rest after use.
Pink book- Critical Crystals. Pink crystals pierce the opponent's armor and forcefield at low damage to both. Massive use due to low cost. Additionally, if the opponent receives enough crystals in a row, their magical resonance overloads, detonating the poor pony like a firecracker at a birthday party. Good range, minor tracking capabilities.
Purple book- The Ear-Piercer. Similar to Rapid-fire Round, but stronger, with a slightly higher cost. Can be dual-cast if picked up twice. Alone, useless to forcefields. Combined, conjured metal spikes demolish all in your immediate path. Weakens at range, but still somewhat useful.
Gray book- Concussion Pulse. A melee-range spell which uses gravity against the opponent, crushing them and flinging them skyward. Low use capacity due to high strength. Crumples armor, weak against forcefields.
White book- Laser Horn. Run enemies through in style with a blade of light from your horn. Eats up energy, but effective against forcefields and armor equally.
Olive book- Magic Missile. Does exactly as it sounds like. Good tracking capabilities. Strong against forcefields, fatal against armor. Cuts through energy in only eight casts.
Indigo book- Heat Ray. The anti-forcefield equivalent to the Ear-Piercer. Can be dual-cast to annihilate forcefields and break through armor. Highest cost of any non-magic-of-mass-destruction spell.
Yellow book- The Unmentionable. Low energy cost blast of magic with minor tracking capabilities. Immense damage and explosion, essentially fatal unless dodged. Pierces forcefields and armor equally. Rarely appears in multipony. If seen, grab immediately and conquer the field.

Rainbow whistled at the selection, impressed with the absurd amount of power these spells contained. Twilight recognized all the spells, even those with new names. "Ear-Piercer? Unmentionable? Who comes up with these names?"
"Somepony awesome, that's who! Oh man, we need to play more! I wanna see what kinda mayhem we can get up to!"
"Hold on, Rainbow, there's auxiliary spells, too. They come in little pamphlets, it seems. 'Press the Right Rectangle on the controller to fire an auxiliary spell at an arc. Pamphlets are single-use spellbooks containing auxiliary spells. The four types are standard explosive, jelly-bombs, Party-Piercers, and fireballs.' It says the explosives just explode, the jelly-bombs stick to things, the Piercers explode spikes everywhere and stick to things, and the fireballs are just fireballs. Yeesh, you think they gave us enough killing power?"
"One way to find out!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Four hours later, the two mares struggled to keep their eyes open. The scoreboard that appeared after every kill left them nearly matched at 432-415, in Twilight's favour. Despite the unusual amount of fun she was having blasting holes into her friend, she could feel her magic beginning to slip away. "Rainbow? Can we pick this up tomorrow? If I stay any longer on these nice fluffy clouds," she yawned, scratching her stomach uncharacteristically, "I'm going to be a splatter across the ground tomorrow morning. That okay?"

Rainbow was nestled into her cloud throne, pulling the arm over herself like a blanket. "Yuh-huh. Turn the teevee off before you go, please. I bought the game, so it's fair." Twilight couldn't argue with this, and stepped over to the overly-warm XBUCKS. She set a hoof onto the top surface, gently pressing down on the nearly invisible on/off button. Making sure Rainbow was asleep, she looked to the machine.

"You and me? We're gonna be best friends."

To be continued