Clean Slates

by Blind Gardener

Rating: everyone
Tags: Shining Armor, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 3934

A prequel to Empty Pages. The forgetful filly Twilight is a difficult child to adapt to. Babysitters come and go, until one proves capable of handling her.

Twilight is an astonishing child, with both talent and genius. However, she has her own special problems. Problems involving memory and ponies. This makes her quite a handful for foalsitters.

Enter Princess Foalsitting services! Guaranteed skill and quality, for those little problem children! But is Twilight too much for a genuine princess to handle?

Caution: Adorbs Abound.

Published 2015-03-26 05:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-22 03:06:50 UTC

Chapter: 1 No means no

Sunset Sapphire shut the sack of silver slowly. She glanced at the predatory pair of parents, remembering a parable. The shark's smile is quite sharp, and it shows them pearly white. She looked back down at the sack. It was quite a lot of money.

To her credit, it did not take her long to make her decision. She banged the bag back on the bench while shaking her head vehemently. Her magic wobbling wildly.

"I won't do it." she shakily stated directly into their accusatory eyes "Not for this amount. Not for any amount."

They glanced aside at one another, then turned imploringly back to her. The husband loosened his lips to lie. She cut him off.

"NO! No means no!" She stomped her hooves in a way she felt made her look dramatic. In truth, it made her look like a petulant child.

A defeated look flashed across the stallion's face, but the wife clearly was not ready to give up yet. She inflated with a deep breath in order to let loose some airy persiflage. Little miss Sapphire cut her off too.

"I will not foalsit for your broken beast." She slammed her hooves down once more.

The wife's face quickly darkened as though crossed by her own personal thundercloud, and the husband's became as stoically dispassionate as a granite wall. Sunset failed to notice the sparks flashing between their horns.

Rather than take the hint, Miss Sapphire continued on, her voice raising in pitch and hysteria as she hit her stride. "That major menace is a danger to herself. She is a danger to others. She is not cute. She is not normal. If she ever gets a cutie mark, it will probably signal the end of the world! She needs to be locked away from society somewhere suitable to helping her special needs! Preferably somewhere far, far away where they keep creepy creatures, like her, chained!"

Sunset finally noticed frightful look being given to her by the wife, and the studied indifference of the husband that heartily hinted 'if my wife tries to murder you, I will not stop her, and will tell the authorities that I saw nothing.'

She glanced around for witnesses, but her little show had driven away the throng, not drawn it. With a hard swallow, she pirouetted on her hooves and scrambled as fast as she could to get away from the raging duo.

The two parents stared after Sunset Sapphire, Nightlight looking glum, and Twilight Velvet seething. After a few moments frozen in tableau Nightlight reached over and gently touched a hoof to his wife's back. A flash of static leapt from her body into his hoof, causing him to pull back involuntarily. He cautiously reached forwards again and began to rub the rock hard muscles locking his wife's flanks solid.

"Well," Nightlight said with a sedate click of his tongue. "That didn't work."

Twilight Velvet hoofed him hard in the flank, earning her a reprimanding glare. She glared back defiantly, before deflating. She sucked at her teeth "Sorry."

"Apology accepted." Nightlight said comfortingly. He gave her a gentle touch on the shoulder. She toppled weakly against him.

"Walk me home dear." Velvet sighed, affectionatly nibbling at her husband's neck.

"Anything my little Velvet Pie, but I am not a deer." Nightlight remarked smartly, while tapping his chest athoratativly.

"I know you're trying to cheer me up with that little joke, but I am not in the mood. It made me more upset." Velvet responded, ears as flat as her voice.

"Sorry." Nightlight whickered, nibbling his wife apologetically behind the ears.

"Apology accepted." Velvet graciously granted, letting her ears and body relax.

Author's Note

Written in NotePad, originally.

Sunset Sapphire is a pinkish-orange unicorn. Her cutie mark is a set of dominoes.

Sunset Shores is a pinkish orange earth pony. Her cutie mark is a bamboo umbrella.

Sunset Showers is a pinkish orange Pegasus. Her cutie mark is the pink Floyd 'dark-side' album cover, but with a raindrop instead of a prism.

I should not write author's notes.

Chapter: 2 Clean Mission Statement

Shining Armour had a mission! Bouncing for joy, Toy sword in mouth, he marched eagerly through the streets waving it at nearby shopkeepers and other rapscallions. Abruptly, His marching lost some of it's eagerness. He was passing Long Laugh's Candy Carafe. He loved that store, the candies therein, and Long Laugh's jackalopery.

Still, he took some flyers from the wall as he passed for "Perfect Princess Foalsitting". It could possibly help with his mission. After one more glance through the windows full of hard candies, he continued his march.

He continued past the store selling genuine reproduction guard weapons from the second pony-dragon war. He skirted the fountain full of overweight ducks that he liked to feed.

He stopped at the playground though to ask the women and men who were corralling their own younger siblings if they were interested in helping him with his. The answers were generally negative. Twilight, for all that she was so small, had a ferocious reputation.

His marching continued past Rose Tarsal's narrow apartment, squeezed between her father's greengrocery and her mother's blacksmithing shop. How the whole family fit in there was beyond Shining's imagination, he and Twilight had a hard enough time sharing one hallway out of their rooms. Rose shared her small room with several sisters.

He paused, had he seen Rose Tarsal in the window? He marched back to Rose Tarsal's place, and knocked on the door. As expected, a scrawny male griffon with thick tin rimmed glasses, gentle silver edged olive feathers and greying fur answered. "Hello Mr Tarsal. Is Rose there?" He asked politely.

Mr Tarsal blinked his wateringly blue eyes indulgently at the little foal. "Why yes, Shining, she is."

He backed out of the small entryway to get enough room to turn around, then he disappeared into the narrow apartment, nimbly threading his feline body past the furniture and nicknacks. Shining waited outside politely. A shrill voice shouting "Shiny!" emerged from the tiny apartment, followed by a cavalcade of sounds, most of which Shining Armour recognised.

First, craning his ears, Shining heard the distinct sound of Rose scrambling up the walls to get over her father in the narrow halls. Then he the sound of her accidentally spreading her wings and knocking something over, causing him to wince and shake his head. Finally he heard the expected sound of her tripping over something, and thudding against the closed door. With a grimace he stepped back from the door to prevent Rose from smacking him in the face with it, as she had done many times in the past.

The door opened, and a scruffy little griffon griflet tumbled out and into a disheveled heap. "Shiny!" She cooed eagerly. Her fur was a dusty shade of rose, and her feathers a deeper shade with the silver edges she inherited from her father.

Chuckling softly, Shining Armour bent down to preen at the bundle of fuz, straightening her feathers for her. She swiped playfully at him with her claws, leaving a light score across his belly. "Quiddit"

Eyes watering slightly, he snorted, and poked her belly with a hoof, right in the ticklish spot. "Make me" he taunted.

She executed a perfect pounce from prone, leaping for his throat, but he had already moved it out of the way and shouldered her back into the dirt, his magic ensorceling itself around his sword. She snapped out a wing, catching his forleg and sending him into a stumble, but his floating sword intercepted her lunge, slamming against her throat and sending her into a coughing fit. He charged her, biting her throat as she coughed. She rolled on her belly in submission, but when he let his guard down she revealed it to be false, grabbing his withers and dragging him down into the dirt with her, the vicious play fighting devolving into a wrestling match.

Author's Note

Long Laugh is a Jackalope. He's has a brown body, with a grey splotch on his face, long grey rabbit ears that dangle near his knees, no cutie mark, and a set of four point elk horns, and an 'anchor' style beard. In personality he's sorta Pinkie Pie/Willy Wonka but without the magical reality warping powers and more old man smell. Makes great candy. Thinks he's great with kids. He isn't.

I invented him for this scene and don't actually plan to re-use him. I probably will anyway. I imagine him as wearing lame fake bumblebee antenna and a bad Hawaiian shirt. He might look a little like smxsonic. Sorry dudebro.

Chapter: 3 Shot in the dark (Re-written entirely jul 2 2015)

Twilight Velvet cautiously eyed Shining Armour's shrinking uncertain grin. Beside him Rose puffed herself out with pride and enthusiasm. Velvet couldn't tell if Shining was trying to get out of work by presenting his friend as a possible babysitter, if Rose had seized upon the idea without any explanation and caught Shining up in her enthusiasm, if he honestly thought Rose was up to it but was worried how his mother would react to this. If it was the last possibility, that was worrisome. It implied that Shining thought Velvet either didn't trust him, or was racist against gryphons. Neither were impressions she wanted to leave upon her son, but the second option was also a danger as it could negatively impact her son's relationship with this friend of his. She needed more information.

She took a deep breath to calm herself, expanding her barrel greatly. Both of the youth had the grace to flinch slightly at her casual dominance display. "Miss Tarsal, have you undertaken a risk-benefit analysis using the proper factors?'

"Um... what?" Rose asked uncertainly. She wasn't entirely sure what Shining's mom had said. She'd never heard his mom talk like this before, though from Shining's lack of reaction to the complicated statement, she must talk like this all the time when she wasn't entertaining Shining's friends. Rose quickly realized two things.

One, Shining's mom wasn't who Rose had thought she was. This was normal, most parents behaved differently around their foal's friends than around other people. (Compart themselves differently, Velvet would have pointed out dryly had she been able to hear Rose's thoughts).

This lead directly, and more worryingly to two. Twilight Velvet was not thinking of Rose as her son's friend right now.

"Have you undertaken a risk-benefit analysis using the proper factors?" Velvet repeated. The look of incomprehension on Rose's face told Velvet the problem was not difficulty hearing. She rephrased. "Have you determined whether or not this posting is a beneficial option for you vis-a-vis the loses threatened by this action, the rewards you are anticipating, the potential success/failure states and the probability of each based on your capabilities and the special conditions these circumstances impose?"

Rose flattened her ear tufts against her head and swallowed nervously. Then she noticed what she was doing. No. Twilight Velvet might be a powerful woman, but Rose refused to be intimidated. She carefully re-puffed her chest feathers and settled herself. "I'm going to be honest with you Missus V. I think I know what most of those individual words mean, but they don't make sense to me strung together in a sentence like that."

Twilight Velvet paused a moment, ducking her chin almost imperceptibly while sighing at a similar threshold. She was impressed by the girl's willingness to stand up for herself in a way that was almost polite. However, Rose's lack of education was clear and present."Right. Are you sure you're able to babysit my daughter, and have you considered what may happen if something goes poorly. Also, what skills do you bring to the table and how much compensation do you want for your servi-... How much money do you want and why do you think you should be the one to babysit my daughter?"

Rose thought a moment, taking her time to form her answer. "I'm a middle griflet, so I've done my fair share of sitting. I'm not a complete stranger, so Twilight's less likely to take poorly to me. Also, I'm not prone to freaking out at surprises. I'm expecting 50 bits an hour? That's negotiable, but I have heard that she's rough to handle."

"And have you considered the harm it might cause your relationship with my son should anything go wrong?" Velvet enunciated carefully, trying to wrap her tongue around a simpler form of conversation.

"It... shouldn't? If it doesn't work out, I'll get help and won't ask to do it again." Rose said "I'd never let something go wrong enough to actually hurt her."

Twilight Velvet was more worried about Twilight Sparkle frightening Rose away from associating with Shining, but didn't say so. "You've been briefed on her special circumstances?" Velvet pressured slightly, giving Rose a solid glare.

"Yes." Rose said with an exaggerated nod. "Beastly powerful with magic, generally friendly."

"That's not really a full briefing on what to expect." Velvet frowned. "She will burst into flame when upset, and likes to teleport. Other than that expect strangeness."

"And what do I do when she catches fire?" Rose asked carefully.

"Douse her, we keep buckets of water for that." Velvet responded.

"Alright. I think I can handle this." Rose nodded.

"Very well. See you tomorrow, at 4:00. We'll be back by 10." Velvet finalized.

In the corner of her eyes, she saw Shining Armour let out a breath he was holding in.

Rose had arrived on time, and well groomed, her feathers smoothed down sharply. The door opened revealing Twilight Velvet, Shining Armour, and Night Light in the entry hall. Velvet was garbed within a flowing midnight purple gown, Night Light was wearing a simple brown jacket and vest, Shining had donned a formal black saddle, blue bowtie with white collar and matching cuffs. He fidgeted and tugged at the straps and cuffs.

They had exchanged fairly simple greetings, with none of the wrestling Rose normally visited upon Shining, though she desperately wanted to. Instead she simply gave him a hug hello, squeezing tighter than was strictly necessary to cover her urge. Then Twilight Velvet had guided Rose into the room where Twilight Sparkle was playing with blocks.

Actually, saying she was playing with blocks was understating the situation. Twilight Sparkle had produced a small city of blocks, though they were arranged in an oddly haphazard looking fashion. Stacked on one another, forming chaotic bridges and patterns across the floor. At the moment she was coloring them in scribbly patterns of fractal complexity with a collection of wax pencils held in her mouth, and a look of stolid determination.

They had discussed contingency plans, who to contact in case of emergencies, the location of the cookies intended for Twilight's good behavior, and then the family had left, leaving Rose alone with Twilight.

"Hello, stinker." Rose kneeled into a pouncing position so that her face was close to Twilight's. She eyed Twilight's blocks carefully. "Whatcha building?"

Twilight stared back into Rose's eye with a profound lack of interest in the world beyond her blocks. Then she turned back to the blocks.

Rose scowled slightly. "Hello? Gryphon speaking here?" She knocked on the floor with a knuckle. "Knock knock, anybody home?"

A thread lifted from the carpet and wrapped itself around Rose's beak. "Shhhhh" Twilight murmured, then returned to her blocks with intense concentration. The string hadn't tied itself, and the pressure of it wasn't great, but it had startled Rose into silence. She was used to foals being somewhat rude, but this little filly really took the cake.

"So... that's the way it's going to be then?" Rose demanded, stomping the floor. While unintentional, the stomp caused some of the blocks to fall from their precarious perches.

Twilight watched the blocks tumble and fall with limpid eyes, then turned to glare at Rose. "Bad." Twilight told Rose.

"Oh yeah? I'll show you bad! Gwrar!" Rose grabbed for the filly, clutching her in one talon and tickling her with the other.

"Glehehehe!" Twilight squirmed and shook trying to get away, scattering blocks across the room. Suddenly, the foal vanished from Rose's grip with a pop.

Rose blinked hawkishly, pupils narrowing to points as she searched for the errant foal. "Where are you?" She whistled. "Come out come out wherever you are!"

A giggling came from the ceiling, followed by a torrent of milk, drenching Rose's feathers.

"Ach. Pthbbb. I'll get you you little stinker!" Rose shouted, blundering into a table and upturning it onto a small grey doll.

Twilight's pupils shrunk to pinpoints and she burst into flame. "'Marty Pant!" Twilight shouted as she charged the Gryphon.

Six hours later when the Twilight Velvet, Night Light and Shining Armour returned, they found the house in shamble. Scorch marks, water marks, upholstry torn up by claws. In the center of the mess a pink colored gryphon, purplish unicorn foal, and grey stuffed doll were curled in a napping ball.

Twilight Velvet took in the scene carefully, her eye twitching as she surveyed the damage. There was Auntie Mab's priceless, and tasteless, lamp shattered. Her favorite sitting table was now so much kindling. They would certainly need new carpeting. And worst of all, tattered pages from books were scattered around the room.

"Well, at least they got along well?" Shining ventured.

Velvet shot him a glare.

"I.I.I mean, that's more than any other babysitter has managed."

Velvet continued to glare. Night Light gently poked Rose awake. "Shh." he said simply handing her a coin pouch. "Get out before things get shouty."

"Mmm... what? Oh... ohkay..." Rose muzzily tried to blunder out of the room, bumping into Twilight Velvet, who whirled on the griphon with a snarl. "YOU!"

Night Light facehoofed, then began quietly humming to himself, cleaning up the room and trying to mend what he could with mending spells.

"Of all the irresponsible, inconsiderate!" Twilight Velvet began, her head sliding between Shining and Rose rapidly, as though she could not determine at whom she was angrier. Flickers of blue fire danced around her mane and eyes.

Twilight Sparkle stirred in her sleep. "Fuzzy pink..." She murmured.

Velvet shot a glare at her sleeping daughter, then grabbed Shining and Rose by the ears in her magic, and began to drag the struggling youth out into the garden.

Night Light watched them go, tsking softly. He quietly picked Twilight and Smarty Pants up, carried them to their room, and tucked them into the bed, reinforcing the soundproofing spells on the house as he did so. A reasonable precaution, as the lights slowly came on in neighboring houses in a slow spread, like a malicious ring of mushrooms supplanting one of Night Light's gardens.

"Best of luck son." He quietly told no one, as he returned to fixing up the damage done by one playful and over-eager griflet and one equally over energetic filly.

Author's Note

Thank you Merriek for helping inspire me to rewrite. Original chapter 3 now in slash and burn folder.

My gryphonic naming theme is "Metals" by the way. Rose is named after Rose-gold. I realize that MLP uses 'all gryphon names start with G', but I did not pick up on that, instead taking "Gilda" to be from "Gilded". Didn't remember Gustav.

Chapter: 4 Office Hours

I knew the two were in trouble the moment they waltzed in through my door. As open minded as Canterlot Ponies claim to be, no one comes to my office unless they're in trouble. That's why I'm the premiere babysitter here: Tough cases welcome.

My office is a amusing affair. The door was set with rose glass, frosted with heart symbols. I had ordered my name printed on it in a respectable font: comic sans. The carpet was thick and rich as a lover's mane. Hidden throughout the office, by a cavalcade of young clients, was a veritable avalanche of toys. In the midst of these warm surroundings I sat like a spider with a ready grin, a cup full of pens, and a game of narrating to myself in a husky voice.

The couple hesitated outside the door like the lingering odour of roses after hearts and hooves day, a clear sign of nerves. “Honey, are you sure about this?” the stallion asked his wife.

“It’s not like she can cause any more damage than Rose did” The wife responded outside the door.

“Rose can at least handle Twilight. That’s better than most babysitters” The stallion responded with a sigh “Even if they did destroy our sitting room.”

I strutted, grinning, towards the door and pushed it gently open with my muzzle, so that they could see my horn but not my wings yet. I love the look on pony’s faces when they first realize that I’m an alicorn.

“Hello, I couldn’t help but hear you two arguing outside my door. Would you care to come in?” I asked in honeyed tones, baiting the trap for the surprise soon to come, my wings tucked close to my side.

They were normal , as far as canterlot ponies go. They looked ragged, as if they’ve been through tartarus and back.

I waggled my flank as I strutted back to my desk, and the two followed closely. Then I casually fluffed my wings while I settled on the desk. The look on their faces was priceless. The mare’s eyes went as wide as a lemur’s and the stallion’s jaw dropped so much he reminded me of a largemouth bass.

I giggled heartily “Welcome to Perfect Princess Babysitting, I’m Mi Amore Cadenza!!” I cheered. “But you can call me Cadance. Do you have any questions?”

“But… huh… those wings?” the stallion managed, his eyes darting back and forth between my face and my wings.

I glanced comically towards my rump, pretending not to notice, then gave him an equally confused looking glance.

“You… have wings!” He exclaimed.

“Oh these tatty old things?” I asked fanning them “Yeah, they’re pretty convenient.” I winked playfully at his somewhat more composed wife.

“Wait,” His wife exclaimed, “Aren’t you Princess Celestia’s niece?”

“Now, Now, no need to bring up politics,” I say coyly. I must admit, the mare won some points with me. Not many ponies knew that auntie adopted another princess yet.

“Why are you babysitting?” The wife asked

“To spend the time." I responded with a casual shrug. "But enough about me, let's talk about you." I dislike speaking of my sordid past. I did not have the happiest of foaldoms, but foalsitting was more than just a way of giving back to the community, it was fun.

The two gave me a confused look, like they were uncertain what to expect. They were so tense! I slinked around the table, and began to rub the mare's back gently with my hooves. "Just... relax, and tell me about it." I reiterated carefully, placing another hoof on her husband's flank "You're here because you're having babysitting problems. I might be an Alicorn, but I am not a goddess. You have to communicate with me so I can understand what is going on."

"Well" the husband began "I'm Night Light, this is Twilight Velvet, and our problems are like this..."

Author's Note

First post in a while, there were some difficulties initially, so while it posted, it thought it had been posted on the 30th of may >.<