Big Mac's Crazy Daisy Day

by One Terrible Writer

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy
Length: 3974

Big Mac vs Daisy and a daisy

"Stay away from the Flower Girls." That's what Applejack always told Big Mac, but the lure of a night in Daisy's bed was just too strong to resist. Too late he realises his mistake, and now his Little Mac is in danger! Can Caramel help him? Can Doctor Whooves? Can Twilight?

You won't believe what Daisy can do with a daisy!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-12 18:34:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“Stay away from the Flower Girls.” That was what Applejack had told him time and time again. “They ain’t no good Mac, you stay well clear of them, understand!” Almost every week without fail she had given him that lecture, and every week he had nodded and smiled at his little sister. Big Mac understood what she meant. He understood only too well. He indulged her whims; every time she had come out with that tirade he had promised to stay away from Rose, stay away from Lily, and especially stay away from Daisy.

Frankly, it just made the whole thing more enticing.

“Harder!” Big Mac moaned out, Daisy crying beneath his weight as he slammed his hips into her once more.  His hooves gripped her pink flank as hard as he could manage as he plunged his length into her sweet body again and again, driving her face down into her bed, savouring the orgasmic delight.

“Take me Big Mac, more, more!” Big Mac grunted, his huge balls slapping against her behind as her inner walls tightened around him. He had only popped his head in to ask for help minding his apple cart; the crazy mare had all but leapt upon him the moment they were alone. Stay away from the Flower Girls. The words echoed around Big Mac’s head, but Daisy had laid it out on a plate for him, she was just too enticing.

“Oh yes Big Mac! Oh yes!” He was not one for words, but the vigour with which Daisy had taken to his body had knocked even the barest utterance out of him. She writhed and squirmed underneath, that delicious green mane bobbing back and forth, her beautiful coat rippling as they fucked, the sound of her moaning and the squelching of bodily fluids was music to his ears. Despite being on top, he was powerless, unable to stop pistoning in and out of her, caught in her vaginal clutches.

“I’ve got a better idea!” With one surprisingly strong motion, Daisy twisted, rolling Big Mac onto his back and swivelling on his cock so that she was now riding atop him, still impaled on his member. “I’ve always had my eye on you, you know!” she smiled, looking down on him, her eyes gleaming in a strange manner as she reached a hoof back to fondle his balls. As he lay beneath the writhing Daisy, Big Mac remembered another wise adage at the back of his mind: never stick your dick in anything crazy. He shook off any doubts – Daisy seemed nice enough.

“I’m going to smash your nuts with a brick!” Daisy cried out suddenly, snatching up a large chunk of masonry from her bedside table. Big Mac’s eyes bulged in panic and he tried to haul her off, but he couldn’t get any leverage; she was impaled tightly on his cock, seemingly enjoying the thrashing and squirming as Big Mac attempted to extradite himself. She raised the brick…

…And brought it crashing down onto a pile of walnuts also lying on the table. Big Mac’s head flopped back onto the pillow with a moan of relief as Daisy continued to ride his rock hard cock. “Oh, you’re good at bucking when you’re flustered!” she smiled down sultrily, grinding her hips down hard. “Maybe you’ll be even more entertaining if I devour your plums!”

“No!” Big Mac finally managed to choke out a word as Daisy reached behind herself to grope his balls again, rocking his body back and forth to throw her off but simply resulting in driving his cock deeper and faster into the maniacal mare. She let out a shuddering moan and with her other hoof, grabbed a plum from her table and popped it into her mouth.

“You should have seen your face!” she murmured down to him, stroking one juice-covered hoof over his panting face. “I can stop you know, if you’ve had enough…” She slowly pulled her body off Big Mac’s cock with a wet slurping sound. He stifled a moan as cool air hit his rock hard erection, which continued to throb in front of his eyes, now unsatisfied.

“N-no… it’s okay…” he whimpered, heart racing as he almost begged her to climb back onto his member. “Ah don’t mind, it’s good!”

“I’m glad…” Daisy stroked a hoof up and down the length of Big Mac’s slick cock, causing him to whine out piteously. “I like your Little Mac, Big Mac…” She tilted her head slightly, placing a hoof on his chest. It was a slight pressure, but after the previous exertion, it was enough to hold him down. Besides, his mind was consumed by one thing and one thing only – to get Daisy’s incredible body back on his cock.

“Have you ever heard of 'sounding'?” Daisy leaned forward to whisper in Big Mac’s ear. “It’s when you put a rod in a stallion’s cock. It’s supposed to be amazing.” Big Mac’s eyes bulged open and he started to rise, but Daisy’s hoof pushed him down onto the bed again. She hopped onto his stomach, straddling him with her forelegs as she twisted to look down upon his cock which ached with need at every touch of her blessed hooves. “Do you want me to suck you off, Big Mac?”

Big Mac could only weakly nod. “E-yup!” he croaked out, trembling with anticipation.

“….Actually I want to stick a daisy in your cock!” Daisy exclaimed, plucking a long stemmed daisy from out of her mane and in one smooth stroke, plunged the stem into the hole in the tip of Big Mac’s member.

“Aiee!” Big Mac rocked hard, squirming, his eyes watering in shock and agony as he felt the cool stem of the flower sliding down his urethra until it ran almost the full length – a strange, foreign, painful experience that sent shockwaves through his body. “Y’ crazy mare!”

Daisy hung onto his frame with her strong hind legs, taking an almost perverse pleasure in his panic. “Hee!” she giggled like a little filly as his shuddering subsided, and she slid off him, stroking his cock up and down, which throbbed to an almost unimaginable degree. “Look at that, how swollen it is! I’ve always wanted to do this, isn’t it sexy?”

Big Mac tilted his head down. Daisy was nuzzling his cock, from which a single daisy head could be seen sprouting out of the top. “G-get it out!” he whimpered as several scratchy pangs of pain shot down the centre of his cock. “T-that ain’t funny Daisy! T-this is over!”

“Spoil sport! I thought you were fun!” Daisy narrowed her eyes at Big Mac and holding some of the petals in her mouth gave a small tug. The daisy did not move, but the slight judder sent flashes of white hot agony down his raging erection.

“Get it out! Get it out!” Big Mac kicked out and fell off the bed, rolling around on the floor as the pain in his member threatened to overwhelm him. He dared to look down, and saw that it was even redder and more swollen than usual. He reached out a hoof to touch the daisy and recoiled as even the brush of his hoof against it sent waves of pain into him.

“Huh, it’s stuck!” Daisy looked down dispassionately at Big Mac. “Might want to get that seen to. Hey!” Her eyes opened wide again. “I wonder if you can still cum? Want to stick it back in me?” She opened her legs invitingly, but Big Mac had already clambered to his feet and was limping out of the door for dear life.

Stay away from the Flower Girls. Oh, how he wished he’d listened!

***

“Caramel, Caramel, open up!”

Caramel frowned at the frantic hammering that was coming from his front door. “Big Mac?” he called out, unsure. “Is that you?” He looked around the mess that was his front room, quickly racing around to clean up some of the more undesirable objects lying about. Why was Big Mac visiting him now? At this hour? His heart started to flutter with wild thoughts as he patted down his hair. “Coming!”

“Now! Hurry, ah can’t wait!” Big Mac’s voice sounded desperate, full of desire even. Caramel licked his lips, and at the last minute remembered to hide the photo album which was full of pictures of that handsome red stallion. Could this finally be the moment he had dreamed of?

“Mac!” Caramel threw open the door to be greeted by a sweaty, flustered Big Mac who immediately pushed past him into the sitting room, looking around shakily. “Come in…” Caramel called out after his friend as he closed the door. “Is this a social call?”

“Caramel!” Big Mac lunged for Caramel, placing his forehooves onto the smaller pony’s shoulders. “Ah know ah can count on you. Ah’ve got a little… problem…” He looked down.

Caramel looked down too, and could have almost fainted. Hanging between Big Mac’s legs was the biggest erection Caramel had ever seen. It was almost painfully huge, invitingly twitching in his direction and topped off by a single daisy head at the tip, an obviously romantic gesture on the part of the hunky red pony. “Oh Big Mac!” he looked into his friends eyes, feeling a special twinkle as long suppressed feelings came to the boil. “I have the same ‘problem’ too!”

“What?” Big Mac recoiled. “A crazy mare stuck a daisy in your cock an’ you can’t get it out either?”

“Oh.” Caramel’s world shattered instantly and he sunk to his haunches. “N-no. Yes. No. Kinda. A long time ago, whatever!” He looked closer at Big Mac’s member and noticed just how swollen it was – the daisy wasn’t some sort of romantic finishing touch as he had first imagined, but was instead planted deep into his friend’s cock. “Uh, just how deep does it go?”

“Ah don’t know!” Big Mac’s voice was slightly tinged with panic as he looked at Caramel with pleading eyes. “Ah think it’s the whole way, but ah can’t get it out! It hurts so much!”

Caramel hesitantly reached out a hoof to prod at a petal, and Big Mac let out a scream. He snatched his hoof away and pondered, eye-level now with the huge daisy-filled cock. “I see…” he muttered. “A daisy stem is covered with millions of fine hairs, all pointing in one direction. It will slide in fine, but if you try to take it out, the hairs all dig in to the sensitive… flesh, and…” He grimaced. Big Mac grimaced back.

“Get it out! Get it out!” Big Mac whimpered. “Ah can’t go home like this! And no, ah can’t go to the hospital, Nurse Redheart is a friend o’ Applejack’s, she’ll tell her and then she’ll know ah was foolin’ about with one of the Flower Girls! Ah’ll never live it down!”

“Your secret’s safe with me…” Caramel patted the side of Big Mac’s cock in a friendly gesture. “Wait, I’ve got an idea! All we need to do is get the daisy stem nice and wet, that should weaken the hairs and let us pull it out!”

“Wha? Y’mean you want me to do a whizz?” Big Mac pulled a face. “Ah don’t feel like going though… ah don’t think ah could!”

“No, no…” Caramel blushed slightly. “I mean, if you came, Mac. It would uh…. get the stem nice and wet.” He drew himself up to his full height, approximating a brave, rugged pose. “And as your friend, it is my duty to help you, no matter the situation! I know you’d do the same for me…” he trailed off slightly, adding a quiet “please” to the end.

“Y-you’d do that for me?” Big Mac looked upon Caramel with untold admiration. “Ah don’t know what to say Caramel, to debase yourself in such a way!” He frowned slightly. “But why are you puttin’ on those stockings?”

Caramel finished struggling into a pair of fishnet stockings that he had plucked from under a sofa cushion. “I just do, okay!” he barked back as he slunk underneath Big Mac’s belly. “Now, just let me do my thing…”  Taking great care, he started to stroke his hooves along the throbbing cock.

Big Mac gave a whimper at Caramel’s touch. “Y-you’re such a good friend!” he choked out, drawing in a sharp breath as he felt the stalk shift inside his cock. “Ah’ll just imagine it’s a mare, ah won’t tell anyone…” He trailed off, almost falling to his knees as Caramel’s tongue ran along his shaft. Caramel was dedicated!

“It’s okay Big Mac, I don’t mind!” Caramel started to carefully lick around the tip of Big Mac’s cock, taking care not to touch the daisy that protruded from the end. One hoof started to fondle his balls, the other stroking along the shaft as he carried on tasting and licking. It was everything he’d ever dreamed off, albeit marred by a strange feminine taste that could only be the residue from that harlot Daisy.

“Mmmpf, Caramel!” Big Mac leaned a hoof against the wall as he gritted his teeth. Caramel’s tongue was expertly running over and around his shaft – he was still suitably aroused from his incomplete sexual encounter with Daisy, and this was tipping him over the edge. Once more praisng his friend for his selfless act of friendship, Big Mac felt his knees buckling. “Ah’m gonna cum…” he moaned out as he felt a familiar pressure build, and then…

Blam. He topped onto his side in a blaze of agony as instead of blissful relief he felt as if his prostate had been stabbed, a terrible, painful pressure in the base of his cock. The only thing he could do was scream and writhe on the ground as he felt a small dribble of warm liquid escape from the tip of his cock.

“I-it’s not blood!” Caramel called out, looking down at Big Mac’s crotch in horror. “H-honest! Just don’t look!”

Big Mac gritted his teeth hard, his vision blurring. “Ah… ah think ah’m dyin’!” he whimpered, gulping constantly at the increased pressure within his member. “Ah hell… ah hell…”

That was the last thing Big Mac could remember before he passed out.

***

“Wake up! Wake up!” Big Mac’s eyes flickered open as another splash of water hit him in the face. He was sprawled across Caramel’s couch; the stabbing pain in his crotch had dulled to a mere thud, but looking down he still saw that his cock was fully erect, even more painfully swollen than before, that daisy still poking mockingly from the tip.

Caramel stood over Big Mac, his hair rumpled as he looked down in concern. “Oh thank Celestia you’re awake, I was so worried!” he breathed, patting Big Mac shoulder gently. “I’ve called a friend, he’s a doctor, he might be able to help.”

“No! Ah don’t want to go to hospital!” Big Mac tried to struggle upwards, but the stabbing pain returned and he collapsed back onto the sofa. “Ah can’t have anypony knowin' about this!”

“Don’t worry, I don’t work at the hospital!” A chestnut brown pony loomed into Big Mac’s vision, a sparkle in his eyes as he looked over Big Mac’s body. “Doctor Whooves is the name, pleasure to meet you! My my, what a pickle!” He prodded a hoof down at Big Mac’s cock, which jerked again, causing a whimper to escape Big Mac’s lips. “Right Big Mac, I’ve got an idea. I fondle your balls and lick your cock and  when you cum…”

“No no, we already tried that.” Carmel gave a frown. “It just made it worse.”

“Oh. Damn.” Whooves’ face fell. “I’ve got no idea then. Perhaps if I just stroke his balls a bit…” He reached out a hoof towards Mac’s scrotum, when a red hoof slapped him away.

“Wait one minute!” Big Mac looked at Whooves with a stern glare. “If you’re a doctor, why don’t you work at the hospital! Ah don’t think you’re a real doctor at all!”

“Well that depends on your definition of ‘doctor’.” Doctor Whooves rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion at the ridiculous question he’d been asked. “If you define a doctor as ‘a pony who has spent their life studying medicine and is fully qualified in treating all manner of injuries and illness’, then no, I am not a doctor.” Big Mac started to speak, but Whooves shushed him. “However, if you define a doctor as ‘a pony who says he is a doctor in order to fondle somepony’s balls’ then yes, I am a doctor!”

Big Mac tried to formulate a response, but the logic was, to his mind, impeccable. “Jus’ get it out of these!”

“Fine!” Doctor Whooves cracked his forehooves together as he looked between Caramel and Big Mac, leaning in closer to stare at the daisy. “What if I give it a sharp tug?”

“NO!” Big Mac and Caramel shouted in unison.

Whooves shrugged. “Fine…” he murmured, placing one hoof on the engorged cock shaft, the other poking at the daisy head, resulting in another round of whimpers from Big Mac. “I see. You can’t pull it out because of the fine hairs on it. But you can push it in. Hang on; I’ve got an idea….” With a deft flick of his spare hoof, he snapped off the head of the daisy, leaving just the stalk barely poking out of the end. He then started to push the stalk further into the shaft until it vanished from view.

Whooves stared at Big Mac’s cock. “Well, I’m out of ideas now!” he chirped. “At least it looks better. Another job well done for Doctor Whooves!”

“B-but that’s worse!” Big Mac could barely whimper, squirming at the discomfort of the stalk now firmly embedded in his shaft. “How’m ah supposed to get it out if ah can’t even touch it? That daisy head was the only thing keepin’ it from slipping further into me! Now ah can’t even pull it out if ah wanted to.”

“Oh yes, that.” Whooves pursed his lips. “Have you thought about seeing a doctor?”

Before Big Mac could slap Whooves, Caramel raised a hoof. “I think there might be one pony who can help, Big Mac. The cleverest pony of all. I’m sure she won’t mind helping…”

***

Twilight Sparkle looked between Caramel and Doctor Whooves, and the large red stallion they had carried in to the library. “So let me get this straight…” she began again in annoyance. “It’s the middle of the night, and you two come crashing into my house carrying Big Mac, who has an enormous erection, and I shouldn’t call the police because…?”

“No no,” Doctor Whooves’ eyes widened in panic. “It’s not like that Twilight. Big Mac needs your help, that’s all!” Big Mac groaned slightly, slumped in the forehooves of his two companions.

Twilight’s eyes were once more drawn to Big Mac’s massive cock. “I see…” she muttered. “Now, I have a panic button here somewhere…” She started to edge away towards her worktable.

“It’s a daisy!” Caramel called out. “He’s got a daisy stuck down his cock and he can’t get it out because if you pull it then the little hairs on it will shred his cock to bits and cause a horrible bloody mess. But now the head of the flower is broken off and the stem’s vanished down the hole! And he doesn’t want to go to hospital because Applejack will find out and he’ll never live it down!”

Twilight’s expression turned from one of horror to curiosity as she trotted over to Big Mac, staring at his member with an analytical eye. “Wow!” she gasped. “But… how did you get a daisy down th-”

“Ah fell on it!” Big Mac snapped suddenly, his head lifting up to glare at Twilight. “Now before the whole o’ Ponyville knows, is there any way of gettin’ it out? Please Twilight? You’re my last hope!”

Twilight blushed at the attention. “Yes, I am pretty clever…” she called back as she trotted over to a table covered in books and scientific equipment. “Really Big Mac, you should have come to me first. I’m sure you can… repay me.” She gave a wink and shuffled through a few scrolls. “Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll stimulate your member, causing you to cu-”

Caramel cut her off with a shake of the head. “We tried the wanking thing,” he sighed. “It just made it worse.”

Twilight gave a huff as she turned back to scan through her books. “I guess I could try to cut a hole at the base and…” she looked up at the horrified faces of the three stallions before her and quickly flicked through the books pages. “Heh. Okay, not that then. Oh, I know!” Her horn started to glow, a magical purple aura surrounding a glass stirring rod that had been laying in a bowl, which lifted into the air before her.

“Now Big Mac, this is what I’ll do…” She looked at Big Mac, then his two friends, drawing the rod closer to Big Mac’s swollen cock. “I’m going to use this rod to gently stretch your urethra and hopefully make enough room for the stem to come out without it cutting into you. This will hurt, but not for long. Got it?”

Big Mac nodded slowly, a pained expression on his face. “B-but its glass!” he whispered. “What if it breaks?”

“Nothing else will be smooth enough,” Twilight replied, casting a small aura of magic to hold Big Mac’s cock in place as she talked. “And it won’t break, not unless you suddenly move, so keep still! We’ll get this out, and Applejack will never know, and you can go home with your head held high. And your other head… not held high.”

Caramel and Doctor Whooves instantly looked away as Twilight carefully pushed the end of the rod into Big Mac’s cock. Big Mac started to whimper, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his teeth as the cool rod started to slide deeper.

“There we go… there we go…” Twilight muttered soothingly as the rod pushed its way down Big Mac’s shaft until it was fully buried inside his cock. “Now I’m going to start to wiggle it about to make room, this will take all my concentration, so be quiet.” Twilight felt beads of sweat prick on her forehead as her horn glowed with light, keeping the rod in careful control.

“HOWDY Y’ALL HAVE YOU SEEN MAH BROTHER?” Applejack flung open the door and bounded into Twilight’s house. Twilight let out a squeak, and Big Mac suddenly twisted in panic at the sight of his sister.

The glass rod shattered.

***

Big Mac lay back on the bed with a happy sigh. It had been three months since the incident. It had cost him a humiliating hospital trip, an agonising recovery, and never being able to look his sister in the eye again. Still, the doctors assured him that his ‘Little Mac’ was back to full health now, and he had learnt his lesson. He would never go near that crazy Daisy again.

“Mmm you have a lovely cock, Big Mac.” Big Mac smiled as two hooves gently stroked his raging member. His ‘Little Mac’ was well overdue for a test run to celebrate being back in working order, and as luck would have it, he had found a sexy and willing mare. One who wasn’t Dasiy. One who was sure to give him the sexual experience he deserved.

“Tell me Big Mac…” Rose smirked as she straddled Big Mac’s stomach, pulling a rose from her mane. “…Have you ever heard of 'sounding'?”