Rarity Has Puu On Her Face
The heat of a late spring day bore down on the lethargic students of Canterlot High. It was the second week of May; the pressure of final exams loomed large and weighed heavily on the minds of the students, as did the thrill of the upcoming senior prom, the anticipation of summer, a mere seven weeks away, and the crushing reminder that those last seven weeks of school promised to drag on terribly.
Sunset Shimmer set her tray on the cafeteria table and sat down. She looked at the line; most of her friends were just now loading up their trays. She decided to wait for at least three of her friends before she started eating.
Rainbow Dash joined her less than a minute later. "Ugh, what a morning," she moaned. "That dork Mr. Doodle took away my phone." She picked up her sloppy joe and took a huge bite.
Sunset shrugged. "Well...you should know better than to text in Doodle's class," she said. "He can be a real pain in the—"
"Hey girls!" Pinkie said brightly, plopping down next to Rainbow. She reached into her hair and pulled out a bright blue phone with a colorful lightning bolt on the back. "Here you go, Dashie!"
Rainbow blinked, taking her phone from Pinkie. "How'd you...?"
"Mr. Doodle owed me a favor," Pinkie said. She opened a packet of thousand island dressing and spread it over her grilled chicken salad. "You really shouldn't have been playing Cupcake Factory Quest in class, you know."
Rainbow groaned. "Can I help it if Cranky Doodle Dipwad is the most boringest teacher in the world?" She used a potato chip to scoop up some spilled sloppy joe meat.
"Eh, he's not that bad," Pinkie said.
Rarity walked up to the table, her tray laden with fruits, vegetables, and sugary confections. She sat down, tossed her hair primly, and sprinkled salad oil on her Caesar salad.
Sunset stopped in the middle of taking a bite of her quesadilla and stared at Rarity, eyes wide. "Uhh...Rarity?"
Rainbow took a look at Rarity and nearly spat sloppy joe all over the table. "What the heck?!"
Rarity looked at her friends, tilting her head quizzically.
Pinkie Pie blinked repeatedly. "Wow," she said. "Rarity. That's...a new look for you."
Rarity sported a large, round red gem on her forehead.
More importantly, her nose and eyelashes were gone, and her face had transformed into a silly, smiling Neighponese anime cat...rabbit...thing.
"Pupupuu," Rarity said.
"Uh...huh," Sunset replied. She looked at Rainbow, then at Pinkie. The other girls shrugged.
Fluttershy joined her friends, sitting down next to Sunset. "Hello girls," she said. She looked at Rarity, blinked, shook her head, and blinked again. "Umm..."
"Puu?" Rarity asked politely.
"Oh...no thank you, I get enough of that at home," Fluttershy said. "How...did you get your face to do that? Oh, is this some kind of new pony magic thing?"
"I don't know what it is," Sunset said. "But it's creepy."
"Pupupupuu, pupuu," Rarity said crossly...and yet her face remained fixed in that strange, obscenely happy expression.
"Umm...Rarity? Have...have you looked in a mirror today?" Fluttershy asked gently. Even as she said so, she reached into her purse and pulled out her compact, which she handed to Rarity.
Rarity took the compact, opened it, and looked in the mirror. She recoiled in shock. "PUU?!" she shrieked. Heads began to turn in her direction. She dropped the compact on the table and ran her hands all over her face. "Pupupuu, pupupupupu...! Pu puu pu puu puu pu puu pupuu, puu pu PUU! PUU! PUPUPUU! PUU!"
"What's Rarity puuin' about now?" Applejack asked as she walked up to the table and sat down on Sunset's other side. She took one look at Rarity and burst out laughing. "Oh...mah...gawd," she said. "R-rarity...yer face..."
"Pu PUU, pupupuu," Rarity said.
"Naw, it don't look like poo, it's...it's kinda cute," Applejack said, snickering.
"Puu pu," Rarity said.
"Oooh, Rarity puued a dirty puu," Pinkie said with a teasing grin.
"This...this kind of thing doesn't just happen," Sunset said. "I need to write to Princess Twilight, see if there's some kind of...of magic leak from Equestria or something..."
"Puu, puu pu, pupuu," Rarity said. "Puu pu pupuupupuu."
"Uhh...yeah, we'll get right on that," Rainbow said.
Fluttershy coughed. "She said, 'yes, please do, darling. This is ridiculous.'"
Rarity nodded repeatedly.
"You speak puu?" Pinkie asked, blinking.
"I speak Rarity," Fluttershy said with a smile.
A dozen phones beeped in unison. The girls looked around; a crowd of students had materialized out of nowhere and were taking pictures of Rarity. She puued in fright and threw her arms over her face. "Puu PUU pu puu!" she cried.
"Rarity? What's going on?" Sweetie Belle asked as she walked over to the girls' table. "Why's every...body...wow."
"Hey, whut's goin' on?" Apple Bloom asked as she walked up beside her. Her eyes bugged out. "Uhh..."
Scootaloo joined them. She took one look at Rarity and fell to the ground laughing. "Heheheheh...nice makeover...hahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle complained.
"Pu puu pu pupuu," Rarity moaned, burying her ridiculously silly face in her hands.
"Oh, don't worry, Rarity," Fluttershy said. "I'm sure we'll all get used to the new you..."
"Pu puu pu puu puu," Rarity said.
"Yes, I...I can see how you might want your face back," Fluttershy said. "And I'm sure we'll figure out how to fix this..."
"Hey guys! What's up?" Twilight Sparkle asked as she randomly walked up to the table.
"Oh, hey Twilight! I was just about to write you," Sunset said. "We've got a little problem."
"Oh no...! What is it, dark magic? More villains from Equestria?"
"Rarity's face," Applejack said.
Rarity looked up. "Puu," she said.
Twilight blinked. "Whoa. Wow. Umm..." She stared at Rarity. "Wow." She reached out and grabbed Rarity's cheeks, stretching them as wide as they'd go. Rarity's face stretched out, widening the comical expression she now wore.
"PupuPUU!" Rarity shouted.
Twilight let go of Rarity's cheeks. "Well I'm stumped," she said. "Also, your face smells like a marshmallow."
"Really?" Pinkie said. She leaned over and licked Rarity's cheek. "Aww...bummer! She just tastes like puu."
"PUPUU!"
"So...no idea how we can fix this?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight shrugged.
"You mean there's really nothing we can do?" Fluttershy asked.
"Get some graham crackers and chocolate?" Twilight suggested. "Seriously, I got nothing."
Rarity crossed her arms. "Pu pu PUU pu pupupuu!"
"We know you're not a marshmallow, Rarity," Fluttershy said patiently.
"Well...umm...bye!" Twilight said.
The girls looked around at one another.
"So...Rarity's stuck with puu face...forever?" Pinkie wondered.
"Sure looks that way," Sunset said.
Rarity sighed and started eating her salad.
A few days later, she was abducted by three Neighponese girls and was never seen again.
But that's another story...
Author's Note
I dunno what to say...
The other day, I had an idea to photoshop Mokona's face onto Rarity, just for grins. I wasn't even gonna do a Pony Fail for this.
So...I dunno. This just...happened. Yeah.
