Author's Note
My first chapter of something I've been wanting to start writing for ages. It is a bit on the short side mainly due to me feeling insecure in my writing, so, I would be very grateful for comments on how the writing feels, flows.. or if it is just unreadable. So.. yeah, be honest and don't worry about wounding my pride!
Anyhoof, have a read, and I hope you'll like what you see!
The wake up.
The reality, or the lack of one, just at the edge of perception, outside of understanding, reason, and logic. The moment of imperceptible clarity right as consciousness takes it's leave, allowing dreams to take the scene of reality. Every moment of every day I thought of this, tried to make sense of it, hoping, praying, the answers becoming apparent with the next time...
I woke up yet again.
“No...” I croaked, feeling the dreams slipping away from my mind, within moments reduced to nothing more than a void where I was certain something should have been.
With a resigned sigh I decided to get up already thinking of theories, work, and making myself exhausted to the point that sleep would come to me whether I wanted it to or not, so as I could continue.. 'to grasp at straws' my traitorous mind added.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, and froze. The Pinkie Pie poster, stuck on my ceiling, that had always been the last thing that I allowed myself to see before closing my eyes prior to sleep, as well as greeted me as I woke up, was not there. In it's stead, a canopy of dark leaves framing a star-filled night sky greeted me. Quickly I sat up, finally registering that my hands were pushing me up from silky grass.
“Eeubwu...” was all I managed, as my mind tried to cope with the influx of sensations, accompanied by the information, realizations, speculations, as well as a mountain of questions and answers that sprang to life and died in mere instants, yet numbers uncountable.
“Hyper-lucidity..?” I finally asked myself, having subdued the torrent of thoughts in my mind to a mere hail.
“No..” came a sudden, and very unexpected reply, “and yes.”
I turned my head so fast to look at who gave the unexpected answer, I felt my neck crack, but forgot all about it as soon as I had laid my eyes upon her.
“Greetings, fellow dream traveler,” She offered with a small bow of her head, “and welcome to the dream-realm of Equus.”
“I.. but.. just...” I lowered my head and held up my hands gesturing that I need a moment.
'THINK! Deep breath. Calm. Think. Yay..~ This can't be real. This IS real. This must be a dream. It must not! Luna! Dream. Can't be awake. Can't be real. Can't not be real.....' thoughts in my mind fought an unwinnable battle, frying my brain and disrupting any coherence I weakly tried to build up. 'Luna.. Luna.. Luna..!' I finally raised my head and looked at her. Yes, there she was, looking puzzled, looking.. oh, so, wonderfully real..!
“I..” I attempted again, but could manage no more as I found a lump in my throat choking anything I could attempt to say, and I broke. Tears welled up on their own accord, and I dropped to my hands and knees, unable to do anything but to cry, to cry all the joys and sorrows, all the hopes, dreams, and impossibilities. A heartbeat, a dozen, a million, I have no idea how long I cried, my mind a jumble of emotions, yet none daring to come forth in face of the hysterical tears of years of hopes, unmendable dreams, and self-damnation. More tears, a seemingly unending torrent poured forth, my mind still reeling, when a touch, a gentle nuzzle, ripped me from the abyss of emotions, and made me look up.
Luna. Right in front of me. Luna looking at me with concern and a touch of sadness in her eyes. Luna...
My body seemed to act on it's own as I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around her neck, and pulled her into a death-grip of a hug, the only coherent thought pushing to the top of the boiling ocean of emotions, 'must..not..let..go..!'
A fleeting moment of tenseness passed her body, and soon I felt her chin resting on my back, followed by a quiet, calming whisper, “Shh.. the nightmares won't get you...”
I.. broke further. No longer was I thinking, or even attempting to think, I was just a thing that cried. Both mere moments an untold eons might have passed, as I held on to Luna, the combined joys and sorrows of everything hitting me at once.. as I held on to Luna, as she didn't let me go, her soft fur taking every last tear I shed. As I held on to Luna, and finally felt the tears begin to dry.
A few deep breaths later I finally managed to gather up the strength to push myself back a little and look Luna in the eyes.
“I-.. I'm sorry for this.” I rasped, finally feeling thoughts begin to form in a semblance of order.
“There is no need to apologize,” Luna replied softly, her eyes warm, welcoming, accepting, “I feel the anguish you had pent up inside you. T'was something that needed to be let out, and I am happy that I was able to offer such a service to you.”
“I...” I began, feeling my worries arise along with a legion of questions and doubts, “is this real, or a dream?”
“'Tis the realm of dreams.” A hint of puzzlement found it's way upon the divine's features, “Are you not a dream traveler? How doth..” She shook her head quickly before picking up her trail of thoughts again, “how have you found yourself within this realm without knowing what it is?”
“I...” I paused again, trying to find an explanation, as well as beginning to hate the long pauses after my I's, “I attempted, have been, rather, attempting to find the point of absolute objectivity within the border of dream and reality.” I shook my head again, questions meandering along the forefront of my thoughts, each pushing, vying for attention, before one suddenly lunged to the top: “A-.. are you truly Luna? The goddess of the night, Luna?”
A moment's hesitation, and a raised eyebrow preceded the answer; “'Tis indeed I, Luna. How does one such as yourself know of Us-.. me?”
A long moment passed as I tried to gather my wits to begin explaining something that was just a jumble of theories, ideas, and hopes mashed together in an act of desperation to reach the realm of my dreams. Taking a deep breath the words finally lined up, and I began, “There are.. more worlds than this one. And, since you mentioned that this is the dream realm of Equus, I gather that you knew that already?”
Receiving a nod in affirmation, I continued, “So my reasoning is that there are more worlds that one can imagine, thusly, there should be any world imaginable somewhere out there. And... having lost all hope, love, and want for my own world, I sought to find a way to one which I've.. read about in works of fiction, a world I feel I could truly call a place where I belong.”
“I think I understand,” Luna began slowly as a thoughtful expression settled over her features, “'Tis something best asked Starswirl, if he was still around that is... But, during our many talks we shared, similar ideas were discussed, and I can see... but dreams as a medium for such a feat?” She paused, arranging the information to her liking, “My realm is a pathway to..” Her prismatic blue eyes shimmering, “Wait till mine sister hears of this!”
Meanwhile I sat back, feeling remnants of my energy draining away by every second, my mind once again filling with the mist of over-saturation. “Luna..” I tried weakly, an arm, weighing more than the moon trying to reach out to her, “Luna....” my voice now the echo of a whisper as my eyes slowly close, straining to keep gazing at the excited alicorn.
'Luna...' echoes of thoughts half-formed swimming through my slipping conciseness as sleep claimed me.