The Other Worst Possible Thing
Rarity had barely recovered from the near ruination that had come from the previous week. As it had turned out, Sweetie Belle had not been tramping around with some stallion as the elder sister had thought, and thank Celestia for that. Had that been the case, Rarity would have had to pack up everything out of embarrassment and move her shop to some third world country where nopony knew who they were, and start all over again. And she simply did not have time for that.
Sweetie Belle, however, was still grounded for... well, Rarity would think of a reason eventually, or at least something more substantial than scaring the beejesus out of her. As an elder sister, Rarity didn't technically have legitimate grounding powers, but Sweetie Belle had gone along with it, more out of love for her sister and guilt for causing the whole thing in the first place.
So all in all, everything had turned out perfectly, and nopony's reputation had been ruined. Which was all well and good. But had Rarity known what was coming up and what was about to unfold, she probably would have moved to that third world country anyway.
Rainbow Dash was having a perfectly spectacular day. It was well into mid-afternoon and she'd completed two of her three daily naps without being interrupted. Her most recent nap had been on a cloud, and the cloud had floated near enough Carousel Boutique that the pegasus jumped down to the ground, intent on giving her unicorn friend and fellow Element Carrier a visit. Rainbow rarely entered the Boutique without a reason, it was FAR too nauseatingly frilly for her taste, but hey. Friends made sacrifices for other friends.
She pushed the door open and the bell jingled overhead.
"Yo, Rarity?" Rainbow called. There was no answer. "I didn't come to buy anything, just wanted to see how you were-" she paused. Dim voices came from the back room. Rainbow Dash let herself around the counter into the back, trodding slowly in case Rarity might be in trouble or something, in which case somepony was about to get a bashin' from the dashin'... Dash... or something. Eh, she'd work on it. She perked and ear and placed it up against the door.
"Yes I KNOW, darling, believe me, it's simply awful. I can't explain what a bind this puts me in. And how in Equestria am I supposed to tell my family or even my friends about this? I am RARITY, the pony of perfection, and if word was to get out that I had an STD, why, it just simply wouldn't do. These things are contagious, you know, and before you know it I'd wind up giving it to all of my friends! How could I ever show my face around here again?"
Eyes bulging, poor Rainbow Dash stumbled backwards, cheeks bulging like a greedy squirrel as she tried to contain her shocked laughter. This was absolutely awful, in a terribly hilarious sort of way. Why, perfect Rarity with an STD? It surely meant had been sleeping around with at least one pony, presumably a stallion. And there were only so many stallions in Ponyville, after all. Unless she'd gotten it in Canterlot... oh, this was too much.
Rainbow stumbled back outside into the sunshine, squinting in the sudden light, compared to the dark of the back room of the Boutique. She had to be very careful about this. If this knowledge was to get into the wrong hooves, Rarity's life could be ruined. Naturally, the only logical solution was to tell all her friends. That would contain the knowledge, and prevent them from finding out from the wrong source. It was the natural course of action.
"She what?!" Twilight asked. The other five were gathered in a small circle at the library, looks of disbelief on the faces of the others. "Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure you heard correctly?"
"Yeah, totally," Rainbow said. "I didn't want to believe it either. But I'm telling you, that's what she said!"
"That poor mare," Applejack sighed. "Whatever are we gonna do for her?"
"Nothing," Twilight said. "We're going to do nothing. It's obvious she doesn't want anypony knowing about this, and it's our duty as her friends to respect her privacy until she decides to tell us. All we can do is be nice to her. Don't any of you let on that you know!"
The other four nodded, and one by one, five hooves were extended forward and placed in a circle.
"For Rarity," Twilight said.
"For Rarity," the others agreed.
This all was going on over the course of the afternoon, around the exact same time that Rarity herself was leaving Carousel Boutique, and locking up for the evening. She was humming quietly to herself, in that distant manner of one who was singing out loud without being entirely aware of it.
"Hm hm hm hm, hm hm hm hmmmmmm... let's finish our holiday cheer..." she muttered, locking the door and turning around so quickly that she very nearly ran over Fluttershy, who was standing behind her. Rarity gave a yelp, and Fluttershy squeaked in surprise.
"You really must learn to announce your presence, darling," Rarity said. "You'll take years off my life doing that."
"I just came by to ask you to dinner," Fluttershy said quietly. "We don't do enough together, and if there was anything you wanted to talk about, we could. You know you can tell me anything, Rarity." she smiled faintly.
"Yes," Rarity said slowly, almost suspiciously. "Yes, dear, I know."
"Wonderful, so I'll see you at the Haystack Cafe at six." Fluttershy slinked away before Rarity could protest. She shook her head in curious wonder, beginning to head back to her house and running headfirst into Twilight and Rainbow Dash as she turned the corner.
"Agh! Again!" Rarity wailed. "Are you all intent on killing me this afternoon?"
"Twilight and I are going to a play this evening," Rainbow said. "Would you like to come?"
"Oh, I wish I could, but I don't have much time left."
"What?! It's that bad?!" Rainbow looked thunderstruck, and Twilight kicked her.
"...What?" Rarity asked. "...No, I'm apparently having dinner with Fluttershy tonight. I just need to run home and get a few things, that's all. Another time, perhaps." She smiled faintly, and resumed on her way, now very much on alert for any more friends intent on running her over.
Rarity returned home without incident, her heart pounding from paranoia, and entered into her home only to be met with with a burst of fanfare and streamers. She didn't even so much as flinch this time.
"Of course," she muttered, at this point only wanting very much to be left alone.
'GET WELL SOON' was slung up in the air across a banner, and Pinkie was sitting on the table next to a bowl of fruit punch.
"What..." Rarity was beyond confused at this point. "What is going on?! Why is everyone treating me like I'm sick and dying?!" she exclaimed.
"Uh... cause you are sick?" Pinkie asked, frowning. "It's okay, Rarity. We know. I'm not supposed to tell that I know or let you know that I know, because Twilight said no, but I'm no good at keeping secrets, and by telling you that we know you know, then none of us have to feel guilty about knowing, you know?"
Rarity's eye twitched. ""Know what?!"
Pinkie jumped down and looked both ways as if for traffic, then leaned forward and whispered in Rarity's ear. "About your STD."
At this point, things began to click into place, and Rarity felt the ground drop out from under her, and a wave of paranoid nausea sweep through her stomach. "What." She said finally.
"It's okay! Rainbow Dash heard you talking earlier. She told us you have an STD, and we're all here to support you as your friends!"
A darkening storm cloud had been appearing over Rarity's head during all this, flashing with lightning and booming with thunder as the unicorn's complexion darkened.
"I did get an STD," Rarity said slowly, through gritted teeth. "A SAVE THE DATE. One of my dearest childhood friends is getting married, and I've been invited, only the ceremony is taking place on the exact same weekend as one of Canterlot's most prestigious fashion centered conventions. Who knows about this?!"
"Everyone," Pinkie said cheerfully. Then her eyebrows narrowed. "Oooooooooh, wait, so you're not-"
"NO!" Rarity screamed, with such force that Pinkie actually slid backwards a few inches, as if the ground was covered in ice. "Excuse me... I have something to take care of."
Rarity turned around and raced out the door, which Pinkie stuck her head out of. "You're still coming back for your get well soon party, right?!"
Rainbow Dash and Twilight were making their way back through town, feeling rather proud of themselves. "I think that went pretty well, don't you?" Twilight asked.
"Sure, I-" the pegasus began.
"RAINBOW DASH!"
Rainbow turned slowly, just in time to see a purple and white blur slam into her body and tackle her off the street at a thousand miles an hour.
