When There Are No Other Fish in the Sea

by kudzuhaiku

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Original Character, Adventure, Shining Armor, Princess Celestia
Length: 8557

A story about the whole 'fish out of water' experience, taken to the logical extreme.

Riptide, a glider sea pony, is tasked to to travel to the mainland and find Princess Celestia on behalf of the sea ponies, who fear their possible extinction. Once on land, he'll have to travel the tiny land of Equestria, make his way to Canterlot, (just a few hours from the coast, or so he's been told) and deal with the local wildlife, terrifying pony gobbling monsters like possums and hedgehogs. (Which Riptide imagines to be some kind of porcine-plant based horror.)

Selected because Celestia sent a message requesting a pony that needs to make friends, Riptide suffers from crippling social anxiety disorder. He carries with him the hope of the sea ponies.

Published 2015-03-23 01:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-13 14:27:48 UTC

Chapter 1

It wasn’t every day that one was summoned to see the governor. The very idea terrified Riptide. He was more than content to stay in his little nook, minding his own business, and doing his job. Riptide, an archivist by trade, organised notes into actual volumes of information, wrote bibliographies, appendixes, and cross reference footnotes. The job was very boring; nothing exciting ever happened, and Riptide liked it that way.

Riptide felt that nothing exciting ever needed to happen. His tail twitched and his fins quivered as he swam through the strong sweeping current towards the large coral tower that was city hall. Riptide, a glider sea pony, could swim through the strongest currents with ease with the large wing like fins that grew from his back. Beneath him, on the seafloor, the coral sea ponies swam along the ground, using their front legs to move themselves along the bottom, minding the sea beds, growing food, and growing new coral for their city.

City hall was a tall twisted building, curving and bulbous, one of the largest buildings here in the small town of Fathom. It was said to be from the time of long night, over a thousand years old, from when the sun did not shine down from the surface of the water. With a flick of his tail, Riptide shot through the doors of city hall, which opened at his approach.

As he moved down the hall, the doors closed behind Riptide and he marveled for a moment at sea shaper magic, something that always left him feeling a sense of awe. The sea shapers had coral like growths spiraling out of their foreheads and Riptide wished that he had been born a sea shaper. It would have made his job a lot easier. His large fins were enough to get the job done, but magic would have offered him a cushy life.

A cushy life was a boring life, and Riptide wanted a boring life. Already, he was feeling apprehensive. Other sea ponies swam past him, their tails swishing, their front legs paddling or pulling them along the floor. Other sea ponies meant excitement. Loud voices. Other sea ponies meant sea pony on sea pony interaction.

Riptide shuddered, not liking this. Hugging the wall, Riptide wiggled past the long line of sea ponies lined up to see the mayor of Fathom. Riptide did not like the mayor. He was a hugger. He would swim right up to ponies he did not even know, wrap his forelegs around them, and squeeze them. A stream of bubbles shot out of Riptide’s gills as he let out a heaving breath, feeling panicked and tense.

Taking a left, Riptide swam off down an almost deserted hallway, spreading out his glider fins so he could hurry up and get this over with. He had no idea why the governor wanted to see him. Already, Riptide was missing his office. Paper was a precious resource down here. It was enchanted, magical to the highest degree, and working with it was a great privilege. Answering the governor’s summons was time spent away from working with precious paper and books.

There was no line in front of the governor’s door. The governor’s secretary, a sea shaper that was a vibrant shade of yellow with green stripes and frilly orange fins, waved. Riptide wanted to turn around and swim away. He began to gnaw his lip.

“You look nervous… I assure you, nothing is wrong. The governor said he would see you the moment you arrived. Please, go in and speak with him. And do calm down.” The sea shaper had a deep voice and he smiled, trying to put Riptide at ease.

Whimpering, Riptide pushed the door open.

The governor was a large fat sea shaper that was an eye burning shade of orange. His fins, bright red with blue streaks, rippled in the water. He was pacing around his desk when Riptide entered and he stopped when he saw Riptide.

“Hullo… been expecting you… Riptide, right?”

Rubbing his front legs together, Riptide nodded but said nothing.

“You’re a quiet sort, or so I’ve been told,” the governor said. “Name is Squall, but you can call me Stormy… everypony else does. I ain’t no formal sort, I’m well liked ’cause of that I am. My fellow sea ponies say I’m approachable, so I am.” Squall, called Stormy, gestured to a chair.

In the room, with the doors shut, there was very little current so things could settle down upon flat surfaces. Riptide looked at the chair, then at the governor, and then back at the chair. With a flick of his glider fins, he shot across the room and planted himself in a chair.

“We have ourselves a problem Riptide… are you aware of what that problem is?” Stormy asked, settling into his own chair and looking at Riptide as he did so. “It’s a real brain buster of a problem, and I’ve been told that you could help me.”

“I don’t even know what the problem is.” Riptide’s voice came out as a shrill gurgling squeak and more bubbles shot out from his gills than his mouth. He was talking through his gills again… the very thing his school teacher had told him not to do every day when he was younger. Riptide whimpered, feeling awful for what he had just done.

“You mean, you haven’t noticed?” Stormy asked.

“No sir… I notice very little… I stay in my office, I do my job, and then I go home. I never cause trouble, never cause a stir, and I am a very responsible sea pony,” Riptide replied.

The governor laughed, a belly shaking guffaw that caused the water around him to ripple and the items on his desk rattled. “You’re that sort. Perfect.”

“Perfect sir? I still don’t understand.” Sitting in his chair, Riptide rubbed his front legs together, ruffling the fins protruding from his front limbs.

“Tell me… have you ever stopped to have a good look at a nice sea mare?” the governor asked, his face becoming serious once more. “Ever thought of settling down?”

Riptide did not look at sea mares. The idea of talking to one of them made him nervous. The very idea of settling down with one made him feel queasy. He had tried talking to one, once, she had rolled her eyes and ignored him. Just thinking about the rejection made Riptide feel very small and insecure. “Sir, I am very respectful of the fairer sex and I mind my manners. I am content to be a bachelour.”

“Ugh, blimey, you have it bad, mate,” Stormy said, shaking his head. “Not even aware of the problem… the problem is, there are far too few females left. Depending on who you ask, there is one sea pony mare for every five to eleven sea pony stallions. Our scientists are alarmed by these numbers. We’ve contacted our cousins on the land and asked them for help.”

“I don’t see how this affects me, I don’t wish to be married,” Riptide said in a faint squeak, more bubbles exiting his gills.

“You knob! There are more sea ponies in the sea than just you… there are fears that we are dying out!” Stormy’s voice was an angry gurgle that filled the room.

Riptide cringed in his chair.

“We contacted our land dwelling cousins. Princess Celestia said to send a pony that needed to make friends and that she would help us. After much discussion, your boss suggested you, saying that you needed to make friends more than anypony he knows. He also said that you were smart. You’re good at data collection, whatever the bloody wreck that is. We figure if this Princess Celestia is going to help us sort this out, she’s going to need a fellow to help her research stuff. She’s said to be real smart, that one. Bright as the sun they say.” Stormy chuckled at his own joke and banged a front leg upon his desk.

“I just assemble the already existing data into a readable form… I’m not a researcher, there has been a mistake,” Riptide said in reply, waving his front legs in front of him in an effort to ward off the responsibility being foisted upon him.

“You’re going—”

“I’ve never been to the surface. Ever! Look, I know I am a sea glider, but I never go to the surface and go gliding… I just mind my business down here. I don’t want to go up there. Up there is scary!” Riptide closed his eyes and shook his head. “No no no…”

“You’re going to the surface. You’re going to find us a solution. And if this Princess Celestia has her way, you’ll make a friend or two. Sounds like you need one,” Stormy said.

“No…”

“Orders from King Leo, King of Auquastria.”

“Oh bother.” Riptide slumped down in defeat, his tail laying limp along the floor.

“Oh bother… oh bother… look here you whiny sot, you have a chance to save us all. I’m part of the camp that believes we are dying off and I’m in no bloody mood to go extinct any time soon,” Stormy said, shaking the fin on the end of his right foreleg at Riptide. His expression softened and he dropped his foreleg upon his desk. “Look, you were selected. Make the most of it. You have tonight to get your head together and then you will be leaving for the surface tomorrow. You’ll need to swim east. There is a city with the name Vanhoover. You will go ashore there and make your way inland—”

“How do I go ashore? I’ll drown!” Riptide said.

Stormy snorted, sending a stream of bubbles shooting out his nose. “Word has it, if we go on on dry land, we’ll turn into ponies. You can’t drown. You can breathe air you silly twit!”

Realising that he was running out of excuses, Riptide’s head drooped down and he stared at the floor. Giving up, he decided to listen.

“After making your way to Vanhoover, you will need to make your way inland. Princess Celestia lives in a city called Canterlot that is located in the middle of Equestria. Equestria is a very small place compared to our ocean. From what I saw of the map, it shouldn’t be more than a few hours journey. A half a day at most. So once you are ashore, find a way to Canterlot.”

Confused, Riptide shook his head. “How do I know where to go? How do I get there?”

“Perhaps you should make a few friends,” Stormy suggested.

Oh this is dreadful, Riptide thought to himself. He looked at the governor, unaware of the pleading expression upon his face. “There are things on the land that eat ponies.”

“There are things in the sea that eat ponies… besides… there is nothing on the land that eats ponies. They have a very safe kingdom, or so I am told. They have big cities and a large population. So the whole ‘there are things that eat ponies’ is just a myth, so I reckon… a story to scare foals. Now a shark… or a mega shark… or even a kraken, those ain’t no stories, oh no. Those is real and my uncle was eaten by a kraken,” Stormy replied. His eyes narrowed. “You’re afraid of every bloody thing there is, ain't you?”

“Yes sir, I am, and I find it is a very healthy attitude. If I just stay in my office, do my job, and then go right home, I’ll never be eaten by a kraken and I’ll have the satisfaction of living to a ripe old age.” After speaking, Riptide realised this whole trip could interfere with his plans. He could be eaten by something… something in the sea perhaps… or some dreadful monstrosity lurking on the land. On land, there were terrifying monsters with horrible sounding names. Like possums. Hedgehogs, which Riptide imagined to be some porcine-plant based horror. Beavers. Riptide shuddered. A land dwelling creature with big teeth and a giant flat tail that was perfect for spanking the backsides of creatures that lived in the water. To death… He had read about it in a research paper.

“Well, good luck… on your way out, my secretary will give you your instruction packet. Read over it tonight. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I’ll be meeting you by the sunrise community garden. You’ll be fine…”

Riptide gulped, fearing that his life was now measured in hours.

Author's Note

I wrote this on a lark... it was an idea that wouldn't go away.

Lemme know what you think and tell me if you spot a typo.

Chapter 2

With the morning came an unnerving sense of calm. After an almost sleepless night, Riptide faced with the morning with a resigned acceptance. Today, he would face the surface world. Today, he would see Equestria. Today, he would swim past sharks, octopi, and kraken.

Today, he might even face seagulls. Riptide wasn’t sure if the giant birds who ate sea ponies existed, but he was going to find out. Today, he was going to be a glider sea pony.

Riptide left his apartment and closed the door behind him, leaving his apartment behind. Also left behind was his information packet, something Riptide failed to think about as he departed. With a flap of his wing-like fins, Riptide shot away from the domed roof of the building where he lived and headed towards the sunrise community garden.

When Riptide approached the sunrise community garden, he knew something was wrong. There was no sign of Squall, the sea shaper also known as Stormy. There was a couple, a coral sea pony stallion and a sea shaper mare. Riptide watched them as they slowly drifted around the large glowing spire of magical coral. In the morning, the spire of coral glowed at the bottom, a bright rosy glow that filled the entire city with light somehow. Riptide had no idea how it worked. As the day progressed, the glow rose up the spire, until around noon, where the glow reached the point. After the noon had passed, the glow would travel down the spire, until it last reached the bottom again. When it went dark, it was nighttime.

The small park at the bottom that circled around the base was known as the sunrise community garden and it was a quiet place of rest and relaxation in the city of Fathom.

“Riptide?”

With a flick of his fins, Riptide turned about. He saw a glider approaching. A stranger. Coming closer. His long tail twisted and curled around itself as he steeled his nerves.

“Riptide… I am a courier sent by Squall. He was at a party last night and he ate something that did not agree with him. He is quite ill. I have instructions for you. You are to continue upon your mission. I was also told to wish you luck… so good luck… I guess.”

Having trouble believing what he was hearing, Riptide snorted out an angry stream of bubbles. “I am supposed to go off and play the hero and I don’t even get a proper sending off?”

The courier shrugged.

“This is unbelievable!” Riptide’s tail unfurled and whipped about in the water. It was rare for him to feel angry, but he was feeling anger now.

“We do what we are meant to do. Each to their own ability, each of us does their job, each of us fulfills their purpose, and if everypony does what they are supposed to do, we continue to survive. You expect too much. This is a job like any other. We live a precarious existence. If you will excuse me, I have other messages to deliver,” the courier said as he turned and went swimming off, his large fins slicing through the water with ease.

Looking all around him, Riptide came to the slow conclusion that everything depended upon him and him alone now. There was a distinct feeling of being alone. Riptide was a pony that was used to being alone, but this was the first time that being alone bothered him. There was no one to turn to, no one to ask for advice, there was nopony at all, period. He turned and looked at the couple enjoying the morning, feeling an odd sense of longing.

There was nopony to say goodbye to. There would be nopony to welcome him back.

Near the edge of town, Riptide paused. The current was stronger here. Ahead of him was the open sea. East of him was Vanhoover. There was a trench, a reef, a ridge, and then a place called The Narrows. Many ships had crashed into the rocks and had sunk in The Narrows. The information packet said that there were things called lighthouses now in The Narrows and no ships had sunk in a long time.

A whale went swimming past. It was easy to see that it was injured. There were visible bites along the tail. It had come to Fathom for help, to seek refuge and healing. Riptide shuddered. Anything that could bite a whale’s tail could chomp him down in one gulp.

As Riptide watched, a lone glider swam straight up, no doubt heading for the surface. Some gliders went topside, to swim in the sun, and glide just above the surface of the water. Nopony stopped him. Gliders were free to come and go. Only the sea shapers and the coral sea ponies were stopped, a measure for their own safety.

Letting out a nervous laugh, Riptide tried to comfort himself. “Well… I am off to find my porpoise.” He shook his head. “Riptide, that was awful. Maybe this is why you have no friends.”

Spreading his fins wide, Riptide left the city of Fathom behind him as he set off to find the city of the land ponies, Vanhoover. The stronger currents took him, they swirled around the city, and while he was fearful for a moment, he found that he could swim through them with little effort. His fins wanted to slice through the water. A strange new feeling overtook him as he headed into the open ocean.

Vanhoover was but a short distance away and Riptide knew that he could reach the city by late afternoon, if the information packet could be believed. The ocean around him was dim. Only a little light came down from the surface far above. Seaweed was all around him, an entire forest under the sea. On the jagged rocks protruding up from the seaweed there were all manner of mollusks and sea life.

Riptide went from outcropping to outcropping, trying to watch the water around him for things that would find him to be a delicious meal. He watched the fish, knowing that they would be the first indicator of something wrong.

For a moment, Riptide wondered how he knew which direction was east. He had no answer. He just knew.

Ahead of him was an open area with no rocky outcroppings, just the waving strands of seaweed, swaying back and forth in the current. He dove low, swimming just above the tops of the broad green plants. His only means of protection were his front legs. He could kick with them he supposed, he had heard stories. Gliders were powerful kickers. The only things Riptide had ever kicked were stuck doors, cabinets, and drawers that refused to open.

Surprised by his own speed, Riptide had no idea that he was capable of swimming as fast as he was. He was moving. A giant oarfish swam past, going in the other direction. It was scary looking, but seemed to have no interest in stopping.

More rocks ahead. The current was stronger here. Riptide wasn’t sure, but it seemed as though the light from above was a little brighter. The seaweed became became clumps, clusters, and the bare seafloor was visible in places.

Wedged in between the rocks was a sunken ship. Riptide, filled with curiosity, wanted to have himself a look, but he wasn’t sure if there was time. He paused, looking ahead in the direction he needed to go, and then he looked at the ship.

This was an adventure after all.

With a flick of his tail, he changed direction and headed for the ship. It was not wood, like ships were said to be made of, but metal. It was rusting. Riptide had no idea what had caused the ship to sink. Anemones grew along the wreck. Wild coral grew along one side.

Riptide had never seen a ship before, but he had seen pictures. Swimming along one side, Riptide examined the rusting hulk of the ship. It was long and had some sort of building built along what Riptide assumed to be the top. It has sunk to the bottom and landed upon its side.

The front end, or at least Riptide believed it to be the front end, was pointed. It came to an edge. The rear end was somewhat squared. Swimming along the front, he spotted what he thought were letters. The letters were odd, strange, but also familiar. They looked like an old language that Riptide could not recall the name of. Being an archivist, he had experience with old languages, alphabets, and words. Reaching out a front leg, he tried to wipe away some debris and then waited for the water to clear.

Bermuda Buster.

Together, the words meant nothing to Riptide. Bust meant to break. The letters were odd and the formation of a word that he understood might have been coincidental. Below the words, there was a large triangle.

How curious. Whoever had the ship also used shapes as a means of communication.

That made sense. Shapes and mathematical concepts would be the same anywhere you went, or so Riptide believed. He swam along the side, moving towards the large building that came up from the ship’s main body. There was a window with no glass beside a window that still had some broken glass. It was easy for Riptide to slip through the window. Inside, there were things, objects, stuff strewn along the wall that was now the floor. Faint light from above made everything somewhat visible.

Riptide had no idea what any of this stuff was.

Something caught Riptide’s eye. Bones. Laying in the silt, bones protruded. They were covered in something odd, something that Riptide had never seen before, he did not know the name. It was flexible and crusted over with sand. A strange skull was visible. The lower jaw was gone, at least Riptide assumed it had a lower jaw. The skull itself was bulbous, strange in shape, almost round. It had two small eye sockets.

It was a grim reminder of his own mortality.

Feeling melancholy, Riptide decided it was time to go. He slipped out the window and resumed his trek, thinking about how much better it was to be alive, something he had never given much thought to before. Riptide had always just sort of existed, going from day to day with no real thought about why or what his purpose was. His assignment mark was a book, a rare and precious thing here in the depths. He had never questioned his place in life. When his mark appeared, he transitioned from being in school to being an apprentice without a second thought. He never refused or begged for something else, like he had seen others do.

The only thing that Riptide ever contemplated upon throughout his adult life was the fact that he was a glider with a book assignment mark. He was the only glider he knew in the archivist wing. All of the rest were sea shapers. He was good at his job and he worked hard, so there was no complaints from the others.

Riptide existed. For a moment, as he swam, he wondered if his coworkers even realised he was gone. He never left his office to socialise, seeing it as a waste of time. He was there to work, to be productive, to get things done. It had always irritated him to hear the others laughing and carrying on when there was work to be done. Riptide had to work hard. He didn’t have shaper magic. He had to do everything the hard way.

Or did he?

He asked himself this question as he swam. He could have asked for help. For assistance of some kind. No longer focused on books, on reports, on data collection, Riptide’s mind was free to wander, and he did not like the questions that appeared inside of his mind.

He did not like doubting himself and everything he had worked for.

Swimming between two large jutting rocks that seemed to almost stretch up to the surface above him, Riptide realised two things.

The first was that the feeling of the water against him had changed. The water was not so difficult to swim though. Which meant the water was getting shallower and that he was getting closer to the surface.

The second was that he had wasted his entire life up to this point.

Author's Note

There might be a reference here.

If only the typos would go there and never return.

Chapter 3

The water was different. Riptide could not say how or why the water was different, but it felt wrong somehow. It felt unpleasant on his skin, making him feel dirty. Waterlogged paper drifted through the current, settling down to the seafloor. Riptide, seeing the paper, felt depressed. Such a precious commodity, paper, and it was out here with other bits of floating debris.

The sunlight was strong here, the water above him was a bright shade of blue-green. The water here was not very deep. Feeling a great deal of excitement, Riptide saw his first ever boat overhead, cutting through the water effortlessly, doing whatever it was that boats did.

His trip, so far uneventful, was about to change. Riptide knew he was close to the city of Vanhoover. The sea floor was littered with stuff; ships, junk, things that Riptide did not recognise. The current here was heavy, harsh, almost violent. It wanted to push Riptide back out to sea, but Riptide’s glider fins made short work of the current. Any coral sea pony or sea shaper would have been swept away though, and Riptide understood why a glider sea pony had been selected for this task.

With a sweep of his gliding fins, Riptide pushed onwards.

Feeling very small and frightened, Riptide realised that he had reached the end of the world. The end of his world anyway. Beneath him was coarse gritty sand. Above him blue water… and something he could not make out. The water was shallow, too shallow, there was no cover, nowhere to hide, nowhere else to go.

Ahead of him, there was only dry land.

Darting through the shallows, Riptide came a little closer, moving into shallower water. He wondered if the change would hurt. Sea ponies had legs; they were still ponies, more or less, at least from what he understood about the stories.

He hoped that there were no seagulls.

Certain that his heart was going to explode within his barrel, Riptide pulled himself along the bottom with his front legs, and then his head broke through the surface for the very first time.

Blinded, Riptide could see nothing. He heard things though. He had heard them underwater, but up above, the noise was almost deafening. The air stunk, it was overpowering. Riptide’s nose, used to collecting faint scents held in the water, was not prepared for the olfactory onslaught he experienced.

The air stung his nostrils and his throat. It was dry, harsh, strange. For an odd moment, it felt as though Riptide could not breathe. He struggled to draw breath, wishing there was wet water to fill his lungs. The pain was indescribable, but Riptide compared it to being like having electric eels swim around inside of his lungs.

Bit by bit, Riptide’s vision came back to him. There was a city all around him, tall stone and metal buildings. Glass. Black air came from some of the buildings. Riptide tried to take all of this in, not knowing what anything was.

And then Riptide made the mistake of looking up.

Above him was an endless expanse of nothingness, an infinite stretch of blue and a big burning ball of fire that was the sun. Screaming, panicked, Riptide experienced the horrifying sensation that he would fall up, that he would go tumbling through the endless blue expanse, and perhaps be burned in the fires of the sun.

His lungs filled with the strange burning air and Riptide screamed once more, all of his terror manifesting into one keening wail. Looking up, he felt dizzy, vertigo overtook him, there was nothing up there to keep one from falling away from the world. No water to swim though.

For Riptide, there was no way to stop screaming. Overcome with vertigo, terrified, it was all too much for Riptide to handle. In an act of mercy, his mind shut down and Riptide fainted.

Something felt wrong with his body. Riptide, too afraid to open his eyes, remained still. He was laying on something soft. Something was covering him, he felt warm. It took several long moments before his groggy mind registered that he had two hind legs now. His mouth felt dry, almost as though it was full of sand and not water. His throat hurt.

“I think he’s coming around.”

Hearing the voice, Riptide panicked.

“We mean you no harm friend… you’re not the first sea pony I’ve met.”

Riptide opened his eyes. It was dark. Dim. It was hard to see.

“I’m betting that seeing that big open sky for the first time was scary. It’s okay though. You’re in, well, you're in jail but you’re not in trouble so please stay calm.”

Jail. Riptide knew what that was. Fathom had a jail. But he was not in trouble. What was he doing in a jail? Something tickled his sides. The tickle was almost too much to bear in his current state.

“Kinda funny, a pegasus pony afraid of the sky. Your kind has been under those waves for a long time. Feeling thirsty friend?”

Blinking, Riptide didn’t know what thirsty was. He heard quiet whispering and a thump.

“Ow, keep your wings to yourself! I forgot!”

There was a pause, a moment of silence, and Riptide focused on breathing dry air.

“Thirsty… I bet your throat feels dry. Up here, you have to drink stuff otherwise, you’ll dry up and get sick. We have some strawberry-cherry-carrot juice… it is real nice. Cold and refreshing.”

“Can’t see.” Riptide’s voice was an unfamiliar croak. He didn’t recognise himself.

“We have the lights down low so your eyes can have a rest. I think they got dazzled seeing the sun for the first time. You shouldn't stare at the sun, it will hurt you.”

The lights became a little brighter and there was a click. Riptide heard something clattering. The sound echoed in his ears.

“Everything is gonna sound funny, probably because there is no water. This is gonna sound strange, but I’ve met a lot of your kind. Sometimes, the fishers pull them up in nets by accident, it isn’t intentional, but they get hurt and we help them. I’m usually called in to deal with the situation. My name is Officer Combs… Curry Combs. And my companion here is Officer Murdlow. Just Murdlow. And no, his mother didn’t know what she was thinking naming her poor cub Murdlow.”

Riptide heard laughter, soft laughter. He heard something come closer. His eyes, having trouble focusing, saw two figures. He struggled to make them out. One was smaller, one was larger. The larger one looked funny. There was something off about the larger one.

The larger one had a beak. A beak. Like an octopus.

Riptide screamed in terror and rolled on whatever he was laying upon, trying to hide, to cover himself, his guts churning with fear.

“We’re not going to hurt you… we know this is a lot to take in all at once… hush friend, you’re safe.”

With his eyes squeezed shut, Riptide swallowed, trying to get the burning sensation in his throat to subside. “Are you a seagull?”

There was laughter.

“Shut up Combs, this ain’t funny, you know the sea ponies tell horror stories about seagulls and how they eat up ponies.”

“Sorry Murdy.”

“I’m no seagull. I’m a griffon. I don’t eat ponies.”

“Well I should hope not. I married you, you big lug. If you’ve been eating ponies then you have some explaining to do. Spill your secrets bub! Spill your secrets because I have ways of making you talk!”

Riptide felt very confused. He opened his eyes. Something was being held close to his face. He smelled something that made his dry mouth water. The big creature that called itself a griffon was holding it in his claws.

“There is a straw sticking out. Just wrap your lips around the straw and suck… you’ll figure it out. Go on, have a drink. You’ll feel better.”

Lifting his head, Riptide looked up at the big griffon and then at the pony by his side. She had no wings and there was no horn. She was like the coral sea ponies.

“Murdlow here is very gentle. I know he looks big and scary, his kind are called ‘hunter griffons’ but they don’t hunt ponies. Well, under most circumstances. Sometimes we get a tricky lawbreaker or big time trouble and Murdlow here has to go after them and deal with it. He’s the police officer other police officers call when there is trouble.”

Wrapping his lips around the straw, Riptide never took his eyes off of the pair. He did as suggested, sucking, and his mouth was flooded with liquid… and overwhelming taste. He had no idea what he was drinking, but it was without a doubt the greatest thing he had ever tasted. It was sweet, it was sour, it was cold.

“I married Murdlow because he was so gentle. He saved me. I found myself in a tight spot and Murdlow swooped in to help a fellow officer in trouble. He snatched me up and got me out of there. I bit off more than I could chew with some thugs and was outnumbered.”

Riptide continued to drink. The cold liquid felt good on his throat.

“So what made you beach yourself? Was it an accident? Did you go exploring and get lost? Were you being curious?” Officer Combs asked.

“You’ll have to forgive Officer Combs… she’s a chatterbox. But she’s also the nicest pony you will ever meet,” Murdlow said as he watched Riptide gulp down juice.

“I can’t help how I am. I turned out like Pinkie Pie—”

“Yes… one drop of Pie blood is enough to ruin a pony.” Murdlow turned and looked at the bright pink mare beside him.

“Ooooh… you… you just wait. You’ll get yours!” Her lower lip protruding, Curry Combs fumed as she glared at the big griffon beside her. One hind hoof began to tap on the floor and her ears pinned back against her head as her lip curled back into a sneer.

“Baby, I’ve been getting mine every single day since I snatched you up and flew away with you,” Murdlow replied. The griffon rolled his eyes and then looked at Riptide. “So why did you beach yourself?”

Pulling his lips away from the straw, Riptide took a deep breath. He felt a lot better. He licked his lips, he could still taste whatever it was that he had been drinking, and took another deep breath. It was easier to breathe now.

“I was sent on a mission. I’m supposed to travel to Canterlot and meet with Princess Celestia.” Riptide has trouble dealing with how strange his voice sounded. He wrapped his lips back around the straw and continued drinking.

“Oh my, that sounds important. Murdy, we should help him. Canterlot is a long ways away. He might be a pegasus, but I don’t think he’ll be flying any time soon. He’s gonna have trouble walking just like all the others.” Bouncing in place, Curry Combs looked at the Murdlow with a hopeful expression.

“Friend, do you have a name?” Murdlow asked.

Once more, Riptide pulled his lips from the straw. He swallowed, cleared his throat, and felt a peculiar sensation in his stomach. “My name is Riptide.”

“Riptide. Nice enough name. Glad to meet you Riptide—”

“I have a new friend, his name is Riptide! This is the best day ever!” Curry Combs began pronking around the cell, her tail swishing as she bounced.

A feathery crest on the top of the griffon’s head raised, and Riptide saw Murdlow blink. The big griffon shook his head. Riptide realised the glass was now empty.

“They warned me… I mean, everypony warned me… she’s a Pie, they said. It can’t be that bad I said… and here I am… and there she is.” Murdlow extended a wing and pointed at Curry Combs, who was still pronking around the cell. “It wasn’t that bad… it was worse.”

“I have a great idea! We should use the emergency funds and put Riptide on a train. He’ll be in Canterlot in no time, he can rest and be safe. We’ll send word ahead that he is coming and everything will turn out just fine!” Curry Combs, pleased with her own idea, stopped pronking around and came to a standstill. “I wonder if Riptide is hungry? We should feed him. Get with the program Murdy, we have to do our jobs! We don’t want to look like incompetents!”

Author's Note

And so begins a grand adventure.

Good luck sorting out all of the puzzle pieces!

Lemme know if you find a tpyo.

Chapter 4

The surface world was a place full of wonder. Drinks were sweet. Food was sweet. Food was made with flavour in mind, and there were things to eat other than seaweed or marine plants.

Feeling full, Riptide sat back in his chair and looked around the room. The walls were covered in papers. Some of the papers had pictures, others had words on them, he had no idea what any of the papers were for, but the surfacers seemed to love to flaunt their paper.

Riptide let out a whinny, which startled him. He was still unused to the sounds that his body tended to make on its own. He had feathers now, and wings, and hind legs, and a tail with a whole bunch of fine silver-blue hairs that flowed down from it.

Murdlow and Curry Combs were in the other room, talking about something, and Riptide heard only bits and pieces of their conversation. Lifting up a hind leg, he stared down at it, missing his tail but appreciating his new legs.

Learning how to walk with them was tricky, but he had taken a few steps to the table on his own after some help from Murdlow. The air was dry, there was no water all around him to hold his body up, and it took effort to even sit up. Already, Riptide was feeling kind of tired from the effort of walking to the table, sitting up, and eating. Even holding up one’s head took effort here on the surface, there was no buoyancy for assistance.

Officer Combs burst through the door and looked at Riptide, grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t freak out or anything, but I am going to introduce you to a new friend. His name is Officer Watch… Pocket Watch. He’s a diamond dog and he’s super nice. He’s big, but he’s kind, even if he does smell a little funny after it rains when he’s wet.”

Watching the door, Riptide saw a large bipedal creature step into the doorway. It waved. Riptide had seen nothing like it, he had no frame of reference. It was big and had claws. Its face was wrinkled, drooping, big teeth were visible.

“Hello.” Riptide tried to sound as polite as possible.

“Hi.” Officer Watch’s tail began to wag behind him. It was long, bushy, and spotted. “I can’t stay for long, as I am expected in other places, but Curry Combs insisted that I meet you because you need friends.”

“He does!” Curry Combs bounced around the diamond dog, beaming, her mane bobbing as she pronked.

“Anyhow, I have the train tickets you will need. The evening trains were all booked. You’ll be traveling on the Solar Express, it leaves Vanhoover just after dawn. It goes to Canterlot with no stops on the way, following a nice scenic route,” Pocket Watch said.

“He’s a watch dog? Get it? It works on so many levels! He’s on the city watch, he’s a watch dog, he watches for trouble!” Curry Combs bounced back and forth in front of the diamond dog, her tail twitching and her hooves clattering on the floor.

“I broke my father’s heart. He wanted me to work in the family watch business… we make fine watches and timepieces. After our shop got robbed when I was just a pup, I’ve had me a keen nose for justice. Combs here just can’t stop laughing about me being a watch dog.” Pocket Watch sighed and looked down at Curry Combs as she bounced.

“I don’t know what I was expecting… I was told that Equestria was a nation of ponies.” Riptide, feeling a little confused and more than a little exhausted leaned forward on the table to support his weight upon his front legs, which were folded before him.

“Oh we’re integrated now. We’re a nation of everybodies. It is better that way. I mean, how else was I going to find the love of my life, my big moody Murdy Birdy?” Curry Combs froze mid-pronk, hanging in the air for a moment before coming down and landing on her hooves with a thud.

“I need to be going. It was nice meeting you. Good luck on your trip,” Officer Watch said in a voice that was more of a low rumble.

“We need to figure out what to do with Riptide for the night,” Murdlow said from the other room.

“We’ll take him home with us of course,” Curry Combs said. “We have a nice apartment. Only one bedroom, but we have a nice sofa you can sleep on and I know for certain it will be better than the cot in the cell.” The pink mare watched as the diamond dog departed, and for a moment, she seemed sad that he was leaving. “Goodbye Officer Watch. Stay safe!”

“See ya later,” Officer Watch replied.

“Yay… I’ll get to see him tomorrow… I have something to look forward to!” Overcome with happiness, Curry Combs bounced in place a few times.

“Ready?” Murdlow asked, his talons on the door handle.

Riptide nodded. He looked at Curry Combs right beside him.

“Okay,” Murdow said, pushing open the door.

Stepping forward, almost falling, Riptide walked through the door with Curry Combs at his side. The city was filled with sound, bright colours, smells, and…

Sky.

Looking up, Riptide let out a wail of fear, his knees wobbled, and he felt his guts clench up. His heart began thudding in his chest. Leaping, his legs still uncertain of this strange new world, Riptide landed on Murdlow and clung to the big griffon, wrapping his forelegs around the big griffon’s neck.

Murdlow stood there, rolling his eyes as a very frightened pegasus clung to him, shivering and trembling.

“Murdy! Murdy Birdy! You have a new best friend! Extra squeezy pegasus hugs are the best sorts of hugs!” Curry Combs began bouncing around Murdlow. “I’m jealous… I didn’t get a hug… this isn’t fair!”

Still shrieking, Riptide redoubled his grip on Murdlow, fearing that he would fall upwards, towards the sky, into the now orange with sunset void that stretched out in all directions above him.

Saying nothing, Murdlow backed himself through the door, taking Riptide with him. Once inside, he waited for Curry Combs and then shut the door. He took a deep breath, summoning his patience, he was living with a Pie after all, so patience was something he had in spades, and waited for Riptide to realise it was okay.

“You’re silly,” Curry Combs said in a voice filled with bubbly laughter, not making it clear who was silly.

“How do we get him home?” Murdlow asked of his wife. He watched as Curry Combs shrugged while somehow standing on her front legs and using her hind legs for shrugging. For a moment, he marveled that he knew that she was shrugging, and then realised he had lived with a Pie descendent for too long.

Feeling unsettled, he began peeling the petrified pegasus off of him, mindful of his claws, with gentle effort he got Riptide to let go.

“We need a hat!” Curry Combs bounced from her front legs to her hind legs, stood up, and booped Murdlow on the beak.

“What is a hat going to do?” Murdlow asked, regretting and fearing the answer.

“A hat will keep Riptide from looking up. We’ll get something stylish, something with a big wide brim… and then… I dunno… that is where my idea ends,” Curry Combs replied.

Murdlow nodded. Curry Combs’ idea had a shocking amount of logic and made sense, which scared him somewhere deep inside.

“A hat?” Riptide asked.

“A hat will make everything all better!” Curry Combs promised.

“It will?” Riptide drew in a shuddering breath and looked at Murdlow. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what came over me—oooof!”

Taken by surprise, Riptide found himself being crushed by Curry Combs. She was squeezing him, making it difficult to breathe, and he saw stars in his vision.

“I want my extra squeezy pegasus hug! It isn’t fair that Murdy Birdy got one! Gimme gimme gimme!” Curry Combs demanded as she wrapped her forelegs around Riptide’s neck and applied her earth pony strength to express her friendship.

“Curry, he can’t breathe and he’s turning purple,” Murdlow said, offering a warning.

“Oh.” Curry Combs let go. “I guess I gave you the extra squeezy pegasus hug. I wonder how I did that?” The mare looked perplexed and blinked a few times as she tried to figure it out. “I’m not a pegasus. I’m going to go hat shopping, I’ll be back just a bit! I have a new superpower… I can do super extra squeezy pegasus hugs!”

Opening the door, Curry Combs went pronking off to look for a hat.

As Murdlow was closing the door behind the pronking pink pony, he heard her say, “Check this out, I have a new superpower!” He then heard a grunt and a panicked cry for help.

Murdlow shoved the door shut with a click.

“She’s… something,” Riptide said, hoping he would not offend.

“I love her more than anything in the world, but there are moments where I ask myself what was I thinking… anyhow, I think the hat might help. Try not to look up. Just try to look down, at the ground. The sun is setting, it will be dark soon. The walk home is not a long one, but you are still getting your legs. It is warm out, and I have no doubt that Curry will want to stop for ice cream on the way home, so you’re in for a treat. Welcome to Equestria, Riptide, watch out for Pie family descendents.”

“It seems to be working, Murdy Birdy,” Curry Combs said as she pulled Riptide along.

“You pushed the hat down over his eyes. He’s blind.” Murdlow, walking behind Riptide, gave the pegasus a gentle nudge to keep him going in the right direction.

“This is a trust building exercise… just like we have on training days!” Curry Combs squealed. “How ya holding up? Feeling scared?”

“A little… I can’t see,” Riptide replied.

“Let me fix the hat for you.” Reaching out his talons, Murdlow made ready to fix Riptide’s hat.

“No! I don’t want to see!” Riptide said, his panic causing him to stumble. He fell forward and felt something soft against him, pushing him backwards and setting up upright.

“I gotcha.” Curry Combs patted Riptide and continued to walk forwards backwards. Her backside seemed to know where it was going and it was important to keep an eye on Riptide. “Your cutie mark is a book.”

“Cutie mark?” Riptide asked from beneath his hat.

“Cutie mark. I have no idea why ponies call it that,” Curry Combs replied.

“We call it an assignment mark. What you have determines the job you are assigned. I’m an archivist.” Riptide continued walking forward, hoping that he wouldn’t fall.

“I have a flaming ice cube… it showed up after a really hot plateful of apple, mango, and chili pepper curry… it was really good too… served over rice that smelled just like popcorn. It was so hot that I had trouble breathing and I thought I was going to die as I laid on the floor and saw a tunnel of light. And then I started to go down that tunnel but I think my great how ever many great grandmother Pinkie Pie was there because I met a pink mare and she hugged me and squeezed me and kissed me and told me I was special and that I was too special to be here so she kicked in me in my plot and booted me out of the tunnel of light and told me that there was a grumpy griffon that I had to go cheer up… she didn’t apologise for kicking me in my hiney, but that’s okay it’s never healthy to carry a grudge. I ate every bite! So nummy!”

Riptide made a mental note to avoid curry at all costs.

“I wonder what sort of job I would get with a flaming ice cube where you come from?”

Riptide, almost stumbling again, felt himself being righted. “I don’t know.”

“I never did find a grumpy griffon. Only Murdlow. He’s been so much happier since he met me,” Curry Combs said in a confused voice.

Riptide, his eyes covered by the hat, did not see Murdlow’s feathers fluff out in exasperation, nor did he see the griffon rolling his eyes.

“Oh what the hay… my booty has betrayed me… it was supposed to take us home but here we are at the ice cream shop… why would you do this to me booty? Aren’t you pudgy enough from all the ice cream we eat? I would have Murdlow punish you later, but we have a guest staying with us tonight… traitorous booty, you’ll get yours!”

Riptide heard a loud sigh and guessed it came from the griffon beside him.

Author's Note

Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich left behind quite a legacy...