Shining Armor's Platonic Love

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Random, Shining Armor, Sex
Length: 932

Shining Armor is a stallion of the law, as such he obeys the law without question. One such law forbids alicorns to have sex with lesser ponies or beings. Naturally, Cadence is rather upset.

Shining Armor is a stallion of the law, as such he obeys the law without question. One such law forbids alicorns to have sex with lesser ponies or beings. Naturally, Cadence is rather upset.

Published 2015-03-24 01:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-24 01:40:02 UTC

It's the law, my wife

Princess Cadance and Shining Armor were on their honeymoon, in the far away land known as Sandyponelands. On a beautiful tropical island, the two were sat next to one another on a simple pink towel at a beach as they watched the sun slowly set over the horizon… well at least Cadence did.

The Alicorn Princess of love turned to her newlywed husband, who was too busy reading a newspaper known as the ‘Canterlot Times’.

"Honey, do you want to do the horizontal monster mash together?" she said sensually, as she looked at him with bedroom eyes.

Shining lowered his newspaper to look at his wife with a raised eyebrow, he looked somewhat annoyed.

"Huh?" he said in confusion.

Cadance sighed with a hoof over her forehead. "Do you want to have sex?" she said, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"Hmmm..." he rubbed his chin thoughtfully."Nope!"

She gasped in shock with a hoof over her mouth.

"Why not?!" she shouted.

"Because--

"Look Shining, I know you hurt me last time--

"It's not that!"

"Then what is it? Are you gay? Are you into sex change ma--

"No!"

"Then what?" she yelled.

Shining sighed deeply, before looking into his wife angry eyes.

"It's against the law.'

"What!? Where did you ever hear that?"

Shining flashed his horn to summon forth a huge, brown leather bound book on his lap. Cadance glanced at the title of the book, which was 'The Big Book of Equestrian Laws'.

Shining opened the book onto a specific page, that was not even a quarter way through it.

"On page three hundred and ninety four, this book of laws says while alicorns can marry whoever they want, they still are forbidden to have sex with lesser ponies or beings."

"WHAT?! What kind of law is that?!"

"I'm sorry, but it's the law, my wife!"

Cadance stood up, then lit up her horn, which caused a pink magical aura to surround the book, followed by her throwing the book over the horizon out to sea.

"HEY! he shouted angrily as he jumped onto his hooves. "Whatcha do that for?!"

"Because fuck your book! Now, come here and fuck me!"

Cadance stepped toward him, as she gritted her teeth.

"No! I am a law abiding stallion."

"No! I need you to fuck me!"

"Can't you be happy with just platonic love?"

"No! I want to feel your physical love inside me!"

"But I'm inferior!"

"You have a freakishly large penis, you are far from inferior!"

"Even so, you're an Alicorn! I'm a mere unicorn!"

Tears began to form in Cadance’s eyes. "Shining, what has happened to you? You love fucking me!"

Shining mane suddenly stood up on edge. "I-I--- This-was-fun! Bye!"

Suddenly there was a huge explosion of green smoke, which caused Cadance to cough.

When the smoke finally cleared, it revealed Shining was gone.

"Shining…. where are you?" her voice, was weak and broken.

Cadance sat down on her rump, tears fell freely down her cheek. Just before she could ponder on possibly driving her husband away, a familiar, though angry voice called out to her. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" he shouted angrily.

"What do mean you were--- her eyes widen in shock. "Oh, fuck! He was a Changeling!"

"Who was a--

"There was a Changeling pretending to be you! And he said you would not fuck me! You’ll fuck me, right?!" she shouted.

"Uh, of course! But, where is the Changeling?"

"Never mind that! Will you fuck me, despite the fact it’s against the law to fuck me?!"

"Oh, that law was written by some evil red and black tyrant alicorn that ruled Equestria with an iron hoof ten thousand years ago. I think his name was Lord Darknessmarkness Narkness Blurness or something."

"Oh. Shall we look for the Changeling?"

"Later." his massive penis came out. "Me, want sex now!" he said in his best cavepony impression.

"YES!" she shouted excitedly.

Suddenly there was a huge explosion of black smoke, which caused Cadance and Shining to cough. When the smoke died down, it revealed a huge red and black alicorn with glowing red eyes glaring at them angrily.

"Stop!" he shouted in a deep evil voice. "Cadance you shall have sex with me, not this inferior pony!"

"Who the fuck are you?!" she screamed.

"I am Lord Darknessmarkness Narkness Blurness! I have returned to rule the world. Cadance you are my waifu! All the alicorn mares are my waifu! I have the biggest penis in all Equus! I am the most powerful and best alicorn! I am superior to everypony! I am unstoppable! All shall love me! I shall marry all the alicorns and they will love me! I am master at sexy times! I am best pony! My penis is the strongest penis there is, I am lord of the penises! I hate everyone! I want to fuck all the alicorns mares! Bow down and worship me! I am super duper sexy! I shall cum all over you! I will cum all over everypony! My cum shall rule them all! I shall cum inside all the alicorns! All will love me! For no pony is better than-- -- Shining trotted forward to punch him in the jaw with such force he was sent hurtling out to space into the sun and thus was melted.

"Uhh.... how did I do that?" he said, rather confused.

"The power of love?"

"Yeah, maybe that was it."

In the distance, a faint green glow could be seen in a bush.

The End