Making Foals, with SCIENCE! and magic

Chapters

Theories concocted, experiments begin
Subject one, element of gullability
Subject two, Chemical Bravo
Interlude How to raise a foal part 1
Interlude How to raise a Foal part 2
Subject 3 part 1 First Contact
Subject 3 part 2, Doppleganger chase mambo
Interlude How to raise a Foal part 3 Who shall win?
Rest, Relax and Reinforcements
Peaceful mornings and bubbles

Theories concocted, experiments begin

Special thanks to kiwipoo and Chrono for their amazing help.

At first it seemed nothing was happening. Several centuries worth of trial and error, and when they finally make some progress, nothing happens. The medical lab continued on sending reels of scans and readings into the observation room their scratching along with the other machines created the only background to the growing awkward silence.The small space was made smaller by the machines which beeped and chimed their nonsense tune, casting multicolored lights around thewhite walled room as well as the giant two-way mirror, it’s gleaming surface reflecting both the lights and the four ponies inside. The teal unicorn at the center looked around and knew something was wrong. What had we done wrong, the equipment is functioning and the spell should have worked.

Then from one of the machines came a bright flash, and the blinding light shrank and compressed, almost moving like water as it formed a whirlpool of green light. Something at the center of it moved, and with it so did the vortex, positioning itself above the now unconscious unicorn. The once pristine white walls of the medical lab began to crack as pulses of power came from it, threatening to make them buckle. The four ponies inside, however, were in no condition to do anything about it. Despite the waves of pressure crashing equipment into the walls, the ponies were being drawn inward to the eye of the storm. Sparks flew and shards of glass and circuitry embedded themselves into the wall. The growing vortex within the room glowed brighter as the ponies inside became weaker, but soon it wasn’t just the ponies inside being drained. Behind the mirror of the observation room the princesses and several others felt the effects.

Despite her knees growing too weak to hold herself up Twilight Sparkle tried to cast a spell to shield all those in the observation room, but as the spell formed it’s essence was torn away and absorbed into the growing mass. Her reservoir of magic was slipping even faster, the more she tried to resist the more it flowed out of her.

“Princess, what’s happening?” She gasped, while trying to concentrate enough to form another shield.

Even the few times had Princess Celestia felt such fear and unknowing, nothing in before had prepared the princess for this moment. She looked over to her sister. She, like the others could barely muster the strength to stand. The swirling mass of the vortex seemed to suck everything they had, everypony, even the earth ponies Braeburn and Beaker seemed to be barely maintaining consciousness. She tried to join forces with Twilight to make a barrier but it was futile, whatever this thing was it just took their magic away faster than it could form.

Beaker just silently cursed himself for his mistake, and hoped that his boss was okay. The last he saw was her motionless body at the center of the phenomenon. “Please be okay….” He said through gritted teeth before fading into unconsciousness.

Several days earlier:

For centuries, the scientists of the Equestrian Advanced Science and Magic Research facility has been trying to answer one elusive question: “How the hay do we make an Alicorn?” She turned and asked her assistant, causing her lab coat to catch on her chair, popping off one of its buttons. This drew even further frustration to the teal unicorn, whose eyes were bloodshot from the overuse of coffee over sleep.

“Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…” before her yellow earth pony assistant could finish the teal scientist stuffed her hoof in his mouth.

“That’s exactly the problem, we have two mommies and no daddies,” she said as she removed her glasses and started to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes with her free hoof. The familiarity of their little routine brought little comfort.

“Maybe one of them could turn into a colt…” he mumbled past her hoof.
The doctor turned her bloodshot eyes towards her assistant removing her hoof from his mouth while giving him a glare he had slowly become accustomed to.

“Ok, one that wouldn’t work, two gross, three they're sisters so double gross, and four I told you stop reading those clop stories, they are rotting what little brain you have left.”

“Well, how about we just splice together unicorn and Pegasus DNA?” he queried. He knew exactly where this conversation was going, just like it did many times before, whenever she had a mental block. Acting as a sounding board for his boss wasn’t all that bad though, it allowed him to get some work done as well as comfort her in a way, although he did not enjoy the verbal abuse.

“Been tried, and you either end up with a unicorn or pegasus, plus it takes a lot of paperwork to make sure they end up with good families which costs a lot of bits. We can’t afford any more failures” she sighed leaning back in her chair, silently thinking about her cousin who also sat like her back home. "Maybe it’s genetic?" She thought.

“Unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies mate with each other all the time but still end up with one of the three, sometimes they aren’t even the same as their parent’s because their great, great grandfather was a unicorn or something” she continued. Even her own family was given a surprise from that. In a family of all unicorns, her uncle almost left her aunt when she gave birth to a earth pony. Thankfully a family tree and a quick lecture from their doctor cleared that up before lawyers and divorce papers became involved.

She thought back to the last few years since she became the head of the program, and thought of the hundreds that came before her, exhausting almost every possibility both magical and scientific. What is it we are doing wrong?

Beaker looked up from the centrifuge he was fiddling with and said, “Too bad you couldn’t have three parents; then you really could be anything.” A small spark from the finicky device singed his hoof, making him recoil. “Although it would be weird to have two dads and a mom, or two moms and a dad, or three moms, or even three dads. Man, magical conception makes it really confusing nowadays.”

“Wait, what did you say?” asked the unicorn. The new line threw her off, but more importantly her mind clicked as a new thought lit up.

“What? Too bad that you can’t have three parents?” her assistant replied. At this his bosses expression turned from one of frustration to of deep thought, as her eyes stared intently at the hooves propping her face up.

“No the other… wait, yes that part and also the magic conception thing,” she said as her mind raced. Magic surrounded a seemingly random selection of books, causing each to fly off and take a place floating in front of her.

“Okay, we know that magical conception works similarly to regular conception in that the child is made up of equal parts of both parent’s but that the gender is predetermined if it’s a same sex couple, you know two males make a male and so on and so on,” she stated, quoting from one of the textbooks in front of her.

Pulling out one of the large test tubes from the centrifuge, Beaker popped the top off, and drank the contents. “Sure,” he said, wiping dark foam from his muzzle.

“So if we can just set up a new spell that will do the same job as the regular conception spell but for three and use an earth, unicorn, and pegasus pony we might just be able to throw enough of a monkey wrench into the works that at least something interesting will come out,” Her assistant started to slowly back away as it became painfully obvious that she had gone off the deep end.

As the moon began to set and the sun was being slowly raised the teal scientist woke up with the bitter taste of old coffee and keyboard imprints all over her face. She smacked her lips trying to remove the offending flavor, when she realized that she did more than rest her eyes. “Wait, what time is it? Ohh no! I gotta give my report to Princess Luna before she falls asleep for the day.”

Normally she would have given her report to Celestia, but after Luna’s return all of the research departments moved under her control. Dr. Heartstrings did not mind, she rarely saw Celestia when she controlled things, and nothing seemed to change with Luna.

“Ooooh! I bet she is going to be excited, soon she is going to have a new brother or sister!”

The teal unicorn quickly trotted the short distance between the university and the castle, only occasionally getting lost in the labyrinthine hallways. After a few dead ends, she found her way to Luna’s night court, ready to give her report, before being cut off by the royal guard. Presenting her papers the guard gave a curt nod to her and to the royal announcer. The announcer quickly went into the court, leaving the doctor and the guard, waiting patiently.

Inside the announcer told Luna of the visitor, and with a sigh Luna agreed to the meeting, sending the announcer back out to retrieve the scientist.

Luna was desperately tired, and wanted nothing better than to get to bed and get good day’s sleep. The last few weeks were a blur of paperwork and project summaries, and despite Celestia’s pleading, Luna tried to catch up to them all right away. Despite this manic game of catching up to a thousand years of scientific and magical research she had yet to even truly skim one of the biggest ones. Even with her thirst of knowledge the mountain of papers, charts, and other files was intimidating. She only glanced warily at the first few pages hoping it would be enough.

Unfortunately for her, the head of that program decided now was a good time to give a report and was on her way now. What was it about again? She knew it had something to do with genetics, but the program was really old; it even existed before the discovery of the pony genome, so it couldn’t be something simple. Maybe it was something about why ponies come in all sorts of colors, that was something that always interested her, or maybe if genetics has something to do with cutie marks. That would interest those “Cutie Mark Crusaders”, although it would probably go over their heads. Before she could further speculate the scientist in question was escorted into the courtroom.

“Hello ummm?” she seemed familiar but she couldn’t quite place her.

Despite the few times she met with Princess Celestia, the teal pony could not help but lightly shuffle her hooves in anxiety on meeting Luna for the first time. “Dr. Heartstrings your majesty."

“You wouldn’t happen to be related to Lyra Heartstrings?” Luna said thinking back to the wonderful musician that played during her return.

“She’s my cousin. Yes, I get that a lot. We both have a way of sticking out of the crowd,” she replied, hoping the small talk would calm her down.

Luna didn’t really understand what she meant by this but was becoming more and more impatient to find out what this pony was here for so she could get to sleep. She cleared her throat to hurry the teal scientist along.

“Ohhh! Yes, umm, I am happy to report that we have made a little headway into the breeding program,” She said as she looked expectantly at the princess. “Hmmn? I wonder what she is thinking.”

Luna couldn’t help but choke a little bit. "Was there some sort of population problem she wasn’t aware of?" she thought.

Dr. Heartstrings took the gasp as a need for clarification.

“Well, it’s not so much as a breakthrough but a theory, a good theory mind you, on how to circumnavigate the problems we had in the past.” Her nervousness lightened as she thought of her wonderful plan, and how happy it would make the lunar princess.

This response did little to clear the many possible scenarios that were now circling Luna’s mind. Had fertility rates plummeted over the last few centuries? Was this the reason there were so few males? Is there some kind of prevalent birth defect? She knew that the program had the 3rd largest budget of all the research programs. Only the space program and applied medicine received more, one for the sheer size of the infrastructure needed and the other because it was so vital.

“So what theory have you come up with?” Luna didn’t wish to admit to be so oblivious to a possible civilization crushing problem, hoping the explanation might tell her what she needed to know.

“Well, as you know the program started almost 700 years ago by your sister, back then we relied exclusively on magic. But in the last century or so we started to approach the problem from a scientific angle. Well, with some help with magic where technology hasn’t advanced enough. In that time we have had almost 2,300 failures. But don’t worry they all ended up in loving homes and lived happy lives, actually one of them happened to be my great, great, great grandfather” She said as her chest swelled with pride. She looked on to the princess and noticed her look of apprehension, maybe she shouldn’t of told her about all of the failures?

The sheer strain of the confusion was almost too much to bear. How could you breed so many ponies and be considered a failing, so that scratches the under population theory. Maybe they failed to make a pony resistant to a certain disease or birth defect; no would they really allow a pony that failed an experiment like that breed? Is this a military program and they were trying to create a super soldier? I think I read something about a Captain Equestria. Ohh crap! She’s staring!

“So what is different about this new method?” she quickly asked hoping the solution would answer her question.

“Well, we are going to make use of a conception spell that’s been modified for three ponies….” She began to explain, before being introduced to the traditional Canterlot volume.

“CONC--EPtion-- thhh--- three ponies?” she stuttered loudly. Stained glass windows quivered in their moors at her booming yet distraught voice.

Dr. Heartstrings was forced back, hitting the gigantic door of the courtroom. The sudden boom not only knocked the wind from her lungs but also left a noticeable ring in her ears. Not wanting to seem unprofessional she walked back up to the throne, and continued, “Ahem! A conception spell is a spell that works a lot like regular breeding, but is for pony couples that normally couldn’t breed with each other. You know like if there is some kind of injury, or same sex couples,” Dr. Heartstrings was glad she thoroughly read up on the subject before hoof. It would be terrible if she had forgotten due to a silly thing like being blasted by a monarch.

“But, -- but why three ponies?!” Luna barely hoarsely shouted.

Heartstrings kept her guard up and wrapped her arms around her head in case of another vocal onslaught. “Well, we need a pegasus and a unicorn for the desired traits, and we believe that the latent magic or qualities of earth ponies will catalyze the whole thing.”

Sleep was now the last thing on the moon princess’s mind. Her imagination could no longer even come up with an explanation. She was going to have to just go ahead and admit she had no idea what was going on.

“So, do you want a brother or a sister?” Dr. Heartstrings said beaming.

Luna’s body wasn’t sure whether to shriek, gasp or faint.
Thump… I guess the latter.

A few hours later:

“Luna… Luna are you okay?” The sun regent lovingly if uncomfortably hovered over her sister.

“Ohhh Celly we had the weirdest dream, some Dr. was rambling about experiments, and said something about brothers and sisters,” she said reverting to old mannerisms.

“I know” Celestia showed the slightest bit of a blush.

“Wait how did you know, did you read my mind while I was dreaming.”

She was now alert enough to take in her surroundings and remember the more modern speech. She appeared to be in Celestia’s room, she would sometimes sneak into her room and lay with her sister during dusk, so they could spend some time together before breakfast. Celestia even after a year of splitting the royal duties with her sister still suffered from a millennium of overwork and slept every night. With each passing day and with the efficient help and support of Luna, the sun monarch slowly regained her vitality.

Luna’s attention turned back to her sister as Celestia said, “No I didn’t read your mind; it’s just that it really happened.”

“What happened? Nothing happened, it was all just a weird, dream!” Luna half heartily denied.

Celestia bent down and gently nuzzled the frantic moon princess. “Ms. Heartstrings’ little announcement, it was real, apparently she came up with a way to make us a new sibling,” Celestia playfully continued to nuzzle her sister as she said this.

For a second Luna looked almost as pale as her sister before turning back to hear royal indigo with a noticeable blush.

“I think I owe you a little explanation don’t I?”

The still stunned look of Luna was all the answer Celestia needed. She lightly coughed into her hoof, ready to tell her story; one that she hoped to never tell Luna.

“Well soon after you were banished, a soothsayer told the prophecy of your return. She said it would be exactly 1,000 years before you would return, and even then you would still be corrupted by Nightmare moon, but it was a chance to get you back and I promised myself to wait and endure until that day." Celestia looked out the window at the rising sun, a forlorn look in stark contrast to the vibrant colors of the morning sky. She continued with a faraway look, a tear slowly rolling down her cheek, "But after 300 years of seeing friends come and go without anyone I could trust to still be there in a blink of times eye.”

Tears were no longer slowly flowing, but began to create a downpour, her eyes no longer the peaceful pool Luna was used to but instead were replaced by seas of emotion; she clutched Luna in a loving embrace.

“I was so lonely, my own grandchildren where only paintings in museums, just as vulnerable to the passage of time as any other pony. So I asked the Magical University to start a project, I got them anything they needed, I even started trading routes with kingdoms on the other side of the world to get them any materials they might need. I drained almost the entire royal treasury at one point when I thought they were getting close. All of this so I could have somepony to be with, to make the passage of time a little more bearable.”

Luna remembered the paintings of the royal family, she knew of them as they were brought to her attention by the all too real Prince Blueblood. Having never known any of them she had no real feelings, especially since many were so distantly related to her at this point that it was virtually nonresistant except in title. Now though, the fact they were real and they meant something to her sister struck her deeply.

Luna looked at her sister in a new light, she was just as beautiful as she was a thousand years ago, but in the way she held herself you could see the signs of time. Luna herself lived that same time but she slept through much of it, only occasionally looking at the Equestria above her from her prison and even then she had Nightmare Moon to company her even if she was a magical split personality.

“As time went by I found other ways to comfort myself, playing tricks, making all of the guards look the same so I can pretend they are the same guards that have long since passed. I always held hope that I would soon have a new sibling, maybe an entire family to welcome you home with.” Celestia laughed a little while even Luna smiled a little at this notion, even if she was a bit miffed at the thought of being replaced.

“The centuries started to tick down, but as they did I became lonelier, even when I knew that it would only be another 50 years I just let the program go on, partially from hope and at least publicly for its benefits to modern medicine.” Then she turned away from her sister, shame and remorse written on her face.

“Then I met Twilight, she reminded me so much of you that I spent every moment I could with her under the guise of teaching her. She helped me forget about the whole thing and I just let it continue, with no real point in shutting it down, it was beneficial but unlikely to ever succeed in its original goal.”

“Then you returned and thankfully the Elements in full strength were able to free you instead of banishing you again. I at this point completely forgot about it until recently, when Ms. Heartstrings told you about her current theory.”
Celestia couldn’t bear to look at her sister, all of the sadness, regret, and shame mixing together. She knew it was better to come out and tell the truth though, especially since the doctor would eventually explain things in full, that and the project was available to anypony in public records and Luna would seek them out eventually. She just hoped Luna would be able to forgive her.

“Lu Lu, now that your back what do you think? Do you want to shut it down” Celestia asked, lying side by side with her sister.

“No,” Luna replied, short and decisively.

Celestia looked at her, seeing the look of determination in Luna’s face.

“Really?” Celestia asked.

Celestia was not only surprised in her answer but in how Luna now held her tighter than ever, still loving her despite her many mistakes.

“It would be nice to be a big sister, plus I don’t want to let… wait let me check.” Luna pulled an abacus out of thin air. She flicked the beads, the rhythmic clacking filling the room until it was interrupted by a small gasp from Luna. “To waste approximately 12 BILLION BITS!!!, Not including inflation, and all of the setup involved” She said.

“Wow, I never really tried to add it all up before, but that really isn’t much for a program that’s 700 years old,” Celestia replied, taping her chin in contemplation.

“That’s for the last 200,” Luna said, nonplussed.

“OOoooooh! I guess I got a little carried away.”

“I can’t wait to meet my little brother!”

“Or sister Lu Lu,” Celestia said, bumping gently against her sister.

“No brother, and that’s final!” Luna crossed her front legs over her chest in mock defiance.

“Ok, little brother,” Celestia threw a sheepish grin at her adorable sister.

They gently hugged once more and went together for a long overdue breakfast, throwing possible names back and forth. After breakfast Luna returned to the courtroom to find the teal unicorn still standing, exactly where she left her.

"I am so glad you’re alright Princess Luna, were you sick?" asked Dr. Heartstrings, who was still was a little confused on why the princess of the night passed out in the middle of her report, secretly hoping it was because she was so happy about the progress being made.

"I am quite alright, I just haven't been sleeping enough, trying to get caught up with all of the changes made, and I am sorry I really had no idea what it was your program did" Luna said, her earlier determination waning somewhat.

Dr. Heartstrings suddenly felt a huge lump in her chest. Her mind was reeling at this. She didn't know... does that mean she doesn't even care? Maybe she is going to pull the plug; I'm going to live on the streets. Wait I won't survive without this job I don't have anyone to take me in like Lyra does, wait Lyra she could... no I couldn't impose they have a foal of their own on the way.

"So when can you get started" Luna said. She could tell something was distressing the teal unicorn.

"Wait what? You want to actually go through with it Your Majesty?" Heartstrings asked, confusion quickly giving way to excitement.

"Yes as soon as possible, and by the way I would like the foal to be a colt, if that's not too much"

The teal scientist felt the lump in her chest disappear. Yes now I don't have to worry about becoming a hobo with a PhD. “Well we still have to set everything up and procure some test subjects and find somepony willing to carry the foal to term, and we will also need some DNA sample from you and your sister but we can almost guarantee the gender”

“Wait I thought that we were going to use 3 ponies for this? Why would you need my DNA?”

“The plan is to take a few genes from you and Princess Celestia and add it to a virus, the virus then randomly injects the traits into the embryo giving it some of you and your sister's traits, like maybe eye or coat color, since we aren't entirely sure what does what yet we are kind of winging it."

After a few more minutes of explaining the process in greater detail Luna bid farewell to Dr. Heartstrings to get a few more hours sleep before sunset.

Back at the EASM dept., Beaker, Dr. Heartstrings' yellow earth pony assistant was cleaning everything up and readying his invention for the experiment. It took him 3 years and more than a few electrical shocks but it was finally ready for the big leagues. He decided on his own that modifying the conception spell alone for three ponies wouldn't work especially if they wanted to combine it with the Princesses' DNA. Now to just sneak this into the medical ward and install it among the hundred other doodads so it doesn't draw suspicion.

"Cue the sneaking music" "Dun dun da na dun da na dun" He quickly snuck "Is that even a word?" through the empty hallway, past the nonexistent guards, picked the unlocked door, all completely silent save for his poorly tuned theme music... "NA NA NAAAAAaaaaa"

After finishing installing the device into the side of a, a, well he wasn't entirely sure what it was, half the gizmo's in here do the exact same thing so it doesn't really matter.

Congratulating himself on another covert job well done he decided to reward himself. "Dr. Ninja is in need of tacos"
Returning from his successful mission and procuring his meal, he was confronted by his teacher and taskmaster.

"Alright Beaker, we need to round up some test subjects, remember we are going for a colt so we are going to need 3 male ponies." The teal scientist pulled off her lab coat and donned a khaki jacket and safari hat, quickly checking the mirror to note how awesome she looked.

The mirror being an entirely inanimate object said nothing, but if it could it would have said something along these lines "I must be some kind of sexy beast, cause all the fillies be checking me out, like all the time." Thankfully the mirror was entirely without conscience thought because there was already too much ego in the room already with the teal unicorn's waggling eyebrow at her own reflection.

"Get out the volunteer bat, and welcome net we are going hunting!" She said snapping back from her vanity.

As beaker was pulling out said bat from the closet of other "Incentives", he paused and spat it out. "What about a filly to actually give birth?"

"Ohh I will be the one to carry, so we don't have to worry" She said calmly, as different weapons and tools floated into her own personal bag.

"Well that's nice it would be a pain to drag four...." "Wait what?!?"

Due to Beaker's years of experimenting and being experimented on he knew from time to time his brain would go funny and make him see and hear all sorts of crazy things, like the time he thought he saw a weird, red, bipedal creature come out of nowhere and steal his taco yesterday. He really wanted that taco too, he thought stifling a tear.

He did a double take, hoping that he heard her wrong. "Ummm did you say you would do it?"

"Yes is there a problem with that?" She asked.

"No but umm. Why would you do it, I mean isn't that a little bit much? What if it doesn't work, you would have gone through all of that work for nothing" he said further shrinking from the now obviously mad mare.

With that the kind doctor used her magic to pull out the "Unruly assistant," cattle prod and give him a good shock. The room filled with the smell of singed hair, as the yellow earth pony shot up into the ceiling from the sudden electrical attack.

"Well unlike you I have complete faith in my theory, and when we succeed I will cement my place in science as the LITERAL mother of a new science and a GOD!" Her pupils shrank as her toothy grin grew and let out a menacing laugh that rang around the room. Lightning and thunder struck outside the laboratory, too bad there were no windows, outside a few ponies looked up at the cloudless sky and wondered what the hay was going on. "Now come on Beaker, Mommy needs some test subjects!" She said as she trotted out of the lab, carefully carrying a small arsenal of weapons herself,

"Coming Ma’am" he said as he picked up a golf bag filled with his various incentives needed for this venture.

Subject one, element of gullability

The strange pair made their way through Canterlot, one with single minded determination to find some viable test subjects, the other with an equally determined focus on replacing his lost taco. Living in Canterlot for years did little to take way from its majestic beauty. The white marble columns and spires, gold trim and intricate carvings and patterns made each building a work of art. Beaker still occasionally had to stop and just enjoy the view, and although Dr. Heartstrings was tempted to join him; she kept her focus on searching for prey. Thankfully this need to stare at the scenery was completely irresistible to newcomers and tourists, who always made for the easiest prey.

The teal safari pony quickly spotted such a pony, and a good specimen to boot. His cowpony hat and vest standing in stark contrast to the generally less sensible clothing of the locals, at least the ones who wore anything at all.

"Well I'll be, they don't have nuthin’ like this in Appleoosa," said the somewhat charming country pony. The simple colt kept stopping to admire the local scenery and greet everypony he met. He didn't really have anywhere in particular to be, his business shipping the new breed of apples to the local restaurants was finished and he had a until the next day to catch his train.

"You know, this city is mighty fine to visit but it don't beat some nice country hospitality," he silently mused to himself. They ac

Deciding to stop for some lunch he took at seat at a local cafe that didn't look too expensive. "Ummm uhhh let's see, Garçon ici, si vous plait," Braeburn said in an authentic Parisian accent.

"Wait did the country bumpkin just speak perfect Prench?" she thought realizing that not only was he a healthy looking colt but was also maybe a little brighter then he let off.

"Quick, Beaker, we have to get closer, this may be the perfect candidate" she whispered to her assistant as they both snuck into the local foliage sans theme music.

It wasn’t just the doctor who was surprised by the cowponies taste for language, but displaying complete professionalism the waiter switched to his native language.
"Bonjour Monsieur comment peut je vous aider aujoird hui?" the fairly snooty waiter asked.

Sticking an ear as far out of the topiary as she dared she tried to follow the conversation

"Ok now I'm getting confused, my Prench is a little rusty," she thought.

"Juste un peu de café et pain d'avoine s'il vous plaît," Breaburn replied, politely.

"Ok something about about coffee and oat bread, I guess he is taking his order," pondered the doctor.

"Merci, monsuir il etre juste une minute," replied the snooty waiter.

As the snooty waiter left to get the colts order, Breaburn let out a little whistle, he lowered his guard, breathing in the fresh air mixed with the smell of coffee and pastry. Enjoying the change of pace from his desert home he sat back and breathed deeply and tried to enjoy the bustling metropolises' variety of sounds. He tipped his hat to cover his eyes a spell, while waiting for his order.

Heartstrings saw him resting, his breathing became shallow and rhythmic as one would when napping. This is perfect, just a quick jolt and he won’t regain consciousness for hours. Plenty of time to secure him in the lab. She wrapped her magic around one of the devices in the golf bag, ready to extend the vested pony’s nap, when a yellow hoof gently tapped her shoulder.

Her assistant leaned close and whispered "Hey he looks like a pretty reasonable guy, maybe, just maybe, this is a theory mind you, we can get him to just volunteer, without force" emphasizing the last few words.

"You’re just saying that so you don't have to drag him back to the lab aren't you?" she retorted.

"Well yes, but it doesn't mean it won't work," he nervously replied.

Hmmm maybe he has a point, plus that means I could scout for another subject while he escorts the cowpony to the lab she thought.

"Okay just remember if you fail I won't let you use the centrifuge to mix your chocolate milk anymore," she stated.

This ultimatum caused him to pale a little as he thought "But it gives it the most creamy delicious drink ever, a spoon would never cut it again after the heavenly drinks I got from the Centro 3000". Then with a look of sheer determination he swore to her, "I will get him, by any means necessary."

"Okay then, you get him and I will go ahead and look for our next subject. Remember what will happen if you fail," and with that the teal unicorn hopped out of the shrubbery to begin her search.

"Okay Beaker, you can do this, remember your training," he psyched himself while recalling that first fateful day.

3 years ago, at the Equestrian Advanced Science and Magic Research dept, or EASMR:

The yellow earth pony had recently graduated and, ready to earn his doctorate, trotted into the research lab, happy to have earned an internship at all let alone one under the personal supervision of Princess Celestia herself.
As he looked around the room with it's state of the art equipment, most of which was invented by this same department he spotted his new boss. She was sitting back in a custom made chair in what clearly looked like an uncomfortable position for anypony, drinking coffee and giving him an equally appraising look through her half closed eyes slowly draining her coffee.

"So your my new assistant?" she apparently was less than thrilled with him, or severely disappointed in her coffee.

"Ah yes, my name is Beaker and I have to say it is an honor to meet you Dr. Heartstrings." it really was an honor, she had given lectures at his school before and every time she did something exploded, and his teachers thanked her for the honor of doing it, so she must be brilliant.

"Okay, newbie let's just get to your training, this," she pointed at the contraption next to her, "is a centrifuge, you will be spending most of your time staring at it," she then pointed at the refrigerator "That is where we keep samples and such, try not to eat anything in there, I like to disguise my food as samples and disguise samples as packed lunches to keep the janitors from messing with my food," she then pointed at his flank "and last thing you really need to know is when gathering test subjects aim for the cutie mark, its an easy target.".

Present Shrubbery outside Prench cafe:

"Okay I will try talking to him and then rely on my training," and with that he got up and walked to the cowpony now halfway through his light lunch.

Braeburn spotted the fellow yellow pony as he exited the bush with a certain lack of grace, falling face first into the ground, with his bag soon joining him. With the heavy bag now stuck on his head, the orange maned pony attempted to use his hind legs to pull himself out. Braeburn drained the last of the strong Aribica blend, before going to assist the odd pony.

"Here let me get that for you," he said before grabbing the golf bag, his neck straining slightly from the surprising weighty sack. With the weight removed Beaker shook his head attempting to remove the feeling that his head was somehow flattened into a pancake. Obviously it wasn't. I mean, who could survive their head being flattened?

"Thank you again sir. Hmmmn? That hat you are wearing, are you from around here?" Beaker asked, trying his best to sound posh, but nonthreatening. Good job Beaker. Lower his guard by letting him talk about himself, he thought.

"Oh just a little place called appPPLLLEEOOOOSAA!" He said with his trademark style.

"So are you here for long?"

"Well not very long, I got to wait for the train delivering my next shipment of apples coming tomorrow, so plenty of time to enjoy the sites a bit," he was happy to see someone be warm and friendly.

"Oh, that's plenty of time, I was kind of wondering if you could help me out with a little problem, I am conducting a study and it should take only a few hours, and I can pay you 100 bits for your time, you would be doing me a HUGE favor," he really hoped the tan earth pony was as friendly as he looked.

"Oh I would be glad to help, plus not every day I get a hundred bits, so what is it exactly you need help with" as he said this he left his bits with a generous tip for the waiter and walked with his new friend.

"It's just a medical thing, we just need to ask you a few questions and maybe take a blood sample and stuff," he said, telling the truth, just not the whole truth, but it appeared the cowpony was pretty quick to trust.

"I just need to grab my bag and then we can head to the university," and with this he procured his golf bag from his hiding place.

"What's all of that there for?" he said pointing at the array of obvious weapons in the bag.

"Oh. Just in case you didn't decide to come with me," Beaker said in a joking matter.

"Hahaha, you are such a kidder," he gave the yellow pony a kind hearted slap on the back. "I like you already, by the way the names Braeburn, what's yours?"

"Beaker, nice to meet you."

And with that they made their way to the University, only pausing along the way when Beaker thought he heard his boss causing her normal level of chaos.

Subject two, Chemical Bravo

Once again we find our beloved teal scientist attempting to blend into the background of Canterlot in her khaki safari outfit. She was searching high, she was searching low, high, and low, but she just could not find any good test subjects. She was tempted to go to the local bar or the local "Chip and ClydsDales" to hopefully find a male pegasus or unicorn that was either too drunk or desperate to say no, then she spotted him.

He was a well muscled brown pegasus stallion, built far heavier then what should feasibly be able to fly, even with magic. Although he seemed like a perfectly healthy specimen, there was something about him that just seemed odd. Well he was wearing sunglasses, a black t-shirt and .... blue jeans? She could understand the shirt, even if it's a bit out of fashion, but it's been decades since she has seen any pony wear jeans, probably because buttoning them is next to impossible without ending up in a compromising position. The jeans made it impossible to view his cutie mark, although for all the effort putting those things on it wouldn't be any wonder if he got his mark for just being able to wear them.

"Hey pretty momma, how would you like to go for a ride?" the odd pegasus propositioned an auburn unicorn, who stuck her nose in the air and quickly trotted away.

"How rude!" she huffed. As she passed by she performed a little bit of magic, dropping the temperature of the obnoxious pegasus by 1/5th.

"So C~~ccc~old!" he said turning from brown to a unhealthy blue, "Call me!" he yelled after her, undeterred despite his failure to woo her.

The stallion sat down and began to ponder his situation, for some reason looking at him do this summoned up an image of two mis-matched gears grinding together.

"Oh, right, I need to find the little purple dude and find out where I am...
What was his name again..." he paused and attempted to increase his concentration by squinting and pushing his eyebrows together. "Dark light, Night shine, umm, Twilight sparkle no that sounds like a girls name and I'm pretty sure it was a dude."
As he pondered he ran his forehoof through his mane....

Wait! How did I not notice his mane? It's like a big yellow triangular shaped block of wood resting on his head! "How much hair gel does somepony need to do that?" She realized she said this out loud which gained the attention of the strange pony.

"Hey fine thing I couldn't help notice you where checking me out, I normally don't date ponies but seeing as I am one it wouldn't hurt to try, ohh! and I got wings." with this he turned his back to her and started to flex his wings, the muscles popped so much that his shirt ripped clean off of his back.

Obviously this pony was crazy and a little stupid but would probably be very easy to trick into going with her. At this rate we won’t even need the tranquilizers... too bad.

"Oh my, you are a strong pony aren't you, you know I could really use your help with something. Could you carry my bag and walk with me back to my place?" She gave her best seductive pout, which wasn't all that good but more then enough for the dope in front of her.

"Anything for you, pretty lady." she blushed a little at this, unused to being flirted with.

She reached back with her teeth and took off her khaki messenger bag filled with her own set of tools and gave it to the strange pony, as she did so she noticed him wearing a new shirt, completely free of holes or rips. Wait, where did he get... never mind.

Being ever so polite the strange pony took the bag and began to rifle through it, remembering he hasn't eaten since he went to Pop's diner. "Oooh what this a candy bar, don't mind if I do."

Dr. Heartstrings looked up and saw him about to take a bite out of the business end of a taser, and before she could say or do anything, it was already too late.

Lighting up with a neon light, he bounced from building to building, his electric escapades were soon cut off when he crashed back into the ground leaving a small smoking crater, "BZWEAADAAAGAGAGGGG, wow, now I remember his name was.... dusk shine zzzzzZZzzzzzzz,' he said, coughing up a bit of smoke before passing out.

"Great. Now I have to drag him back, and I don't even get the enjoyment of zapping somepony myself," with that she grabbed up her bag and threw the welcome net over him and tried and drag him through the streets. The bulky pegasus proved to be too heavy to carry, for either magic or muscles, her strained efforts only moving the behemoth only a few inches before she was stopped by a pair of pegasi Royal guards.

"Halt, state your business" they said in perfect unison. Between the white coats and identical golden armor, they were indistinguishable from each other.

She spat out the end of the net and gave the two the kind of glare that a manticore would give to something between it and its next meal. She breathed in to recover from the physical labor and allow herself to collect her thoughts.

"I am here on orders from Princess Celestia and Princess Luna and I need to get this pony back to my lab. Here are my credentials." she said flatly, her look one more of disdain then the fear of a lawbreaking mare. This unsettled the two guards, both unused to anypony being so rude to them.

She reached into her pocket magically, pulled out her paperwork and gave it to the guards. As they read through them, they began to get a little nervous. The glare only got more intense and annoyed at them, by the time they read to the part with Princess Celestia's royal seal the glare had turned almost lethal.

"Oh! Sorry Miss, I mean Doctor we didn't know such a high member of the royal staff would be out her on such business, is there any way we could be of help?" Said the one to the left.

Now they were tripping over themselves to try and not offend her, and hopefully get out of the situation as quickly as possible.

"Could you take this pony to my lab for me? Ask for Beaker. He will know what to do with him," she said, a coy smile trailing her lips.

One of them went ahead and grabbed the end of the net, while the other bowed and apologised again. Dragging the heavy, unconscious pony, the two strained their legs as well as wings. Despite the heavy load the two went off with extreme haste, trying their best to be out of her view as quickly as possible.

She trotted off, glad to not only be rid of the guards, but also for not having to bust her flank dragging the unconscious stooge back and now that she thought about it, she now had the rest of the day to just find one more pony before the experiment could begin.

"Now all I need is a unicorn," she said, her enthusiasm for the hunt burning bright once more.

Interlude How to raise a foal part 1

If you like this story you should check out my new series "Monster Sitting"

Now a quick break from subject hunting to show you what Celestia and Luna are doing to prepare for the new prince

After all of the shock from the previous night, princess Luna slept soundly, if only through sheer exhaustion. Hours passed as she slept, but as the sun slowly crept over her eyes, she woke violently, her hooves striking outward. Calming down she nestled into the warm covers of her massive bed, not wanting to leave its embrace. Lying there she kept wondering if she had made a mistake by letting things go so far. It was too late now. Slowly she rose from her bed, silken sheets slowly flowing off of her to reveal her ethereal mane and tail beneath.

"I wonder if he will have hair like me or Celestia?" she mused to herself, walking over the ebony tiles of to her bathroom. The empty room magnified the lone pony’s hoofsteps, leaving her with thoughts of smaller hoofs racing across the same room someday.

Gazing at herself in the mirror, she stared and day dreamed herself playing with a little foal like the one she met during nightmare night. A smile crossed her lips and putting her at ease.

"Wait, it's just not playing and running through fields, what about feeding, washing, and what if he gets sick?" she inwardly chastised herself, realizing she knew absolutely nothing about raising a foal.

"Celestia would probably know, but... She was so terrible about teasing me since I returned with teaching me things, she never even bothered to warn me about how speech has changed in the last THOUSAND YEARS!" Accidently slipping into old habits, she yelled, alerting her assistant to check on her.

"Did you call for me, your Majesty?" said the bespectacled grey unicorn. Book Cover looked for all intents to be a no nonsense pony, from her black mane tied up, not letting a single hair stay out of place, to her immaculately white blouse, but all of this belied her true nature. She was trained specifically by Celestia to use any means necessary to keep the other staff on their hooves, including replacing the normally demure maid outfits with some more racy ones thanks to a miss Velvet. That one went well with the visiting dignitaries and even led to a few relationships among the staff.

"No, Book Cover, but maybe you can help me, do you know anything about children?" she half pleaded to her assistant.

Book Cover was mildly shocked, but looked over her boss and saw that she was authentically worried, her expression softened somewhat from the no-nonsense look she usually favored. She thought back to her own foalhood remembering her own mother telling her to not mess around so much and be serious, her father being a standup comedian teaching her pranks and jokes, this mix lead to her serious exterior and fun loving interior. She had no siblings, she never really had to foalsit for money growing up, and she had no children of her own. The closest thing to she had was chastising her father when he went a little too far in his own silliness. So she had little she could really advise the night princess on.

Book Cover decided to be honest. "I don't really know much about foals or children in general, but I believe that there are books on the subject, and I think there are ponies that can teach you, if you want I can schedule such a pony to come by this afternoon." She hoped that this would cheer up the Lunar Regent. This apparently did, at the mere mention of books she immediately perked up.

"You go do that," she then paused dramatically and declared "I Will Be in the LIBRARY, tally HOOOO!" and with that she flew by so fast a few strands of Book Cover's bun stuck out in defiance. Hair posing some intelligence is occasionally able to shout situational appropriate phrases and advice, unfortunately for everypony involved hair is much too quite for anypony to hear so their advice is largely unheard.

Book Cover, glad to see her Princess excited and chipper, began to ponder who would be the perfect pony to teach Luna about children. She pulled out Celestia's little black book of blackmail, bribes, bad business, and bounties and found the perfect teacher. She was friendly, charming according to the heart marks and apparently owed Celestia a huge favor for stealing Celestia's pet and causing a stampede.

15 minutes later, at an arbor based institute of literary excellence. (translation) library in a tree.

"And that's why transmogrification spells are different from morphic spells, Spike," the purple, prodigal, pony student explained to an equally purple, but perplexed, dragon.

"Ya, ya, Twi, it's not like, Blaragagaggghh!" Before Spike could finish the statement that would have earned him another lecture, he had a bout of intestinal distress in the form of a scroll.

"Yay! it's a letter from Princess Celestia. Maybe she will approve of the large Hadron collider I want to build in the basement," she eagerly went for the scroll, but before she could, her assistant blocked her with his claw.

"Wait. It says it's for Fluttershy. Great. Apparently my body is the mail service for all of Ponyville" Spike sighed as he spotted a cross eyed pegasus stare angrily at him and to the plant to his right simultaneously.

"Yew TERK MEAH JERB!" cried the grey pegasus.

"He took yer Jerb?" shouted a random bystander outside the library.

She began to use her front hooves to express her mixture of anger and confusion. Pointing to him and waving them about in a frantic matter akin to an angry Air traffic control pony.

"HeTERKMERJERBBBB!" she replied

"TEkherJERB!" the bystander shouted back in unison with a whole group of blue collar ponies.

"MEEEH JERBBBHERRR TOOook!" She continued.

"Uhhh sorry I'll try not to do it again?" he said wasn't unsure how to calm her down.

The Blonde maned pony smiled and said "Okey dokey," and then drew a serious expression "I'm keeping my eye on you," and with this she flew away, all the while one eye was kept on him.

Twilight, having long since lost patience with the entire ordeal, picked up the scroll along with her saddle bags.

"I'll go ahead and drop this off at Fluttershy's cottage, I need to pick some things up at Zecora's anyhow, try not to burn anything down while I am gone" She then trotted out the door before slamming it with her magic.

"What did I do now?" Spike sighed as he began to read one of the library’s few comics.

"Man, one of these days I gotta get my own place" he sighed again; before getting comfortable to finish reading.

Back at the Castle:

The co-rulers of Equestria where walking down the hallway, the taller white monarch was weary from a long day and currently annoyed at the smaller night princess, who was floating several books around her.

"I already know how to raise a child, I've done it myself a few hundred years ago," said the miffed older princess.

"Well, things have changed since then. Believe me, I should know, and besides, it would fun to go to class together. We never had to go to school when we where foals, and it wouldn't be the same if I was the only one in there," as she said this she playfully bumped into her grumpy sister, drawing only a small glare and a grunt from her.

"Alright, if it will get you off of my back I'll do it, but don't expect me to let you cheat off me, after all, I am an expert," the Sun monarch joked, returning her sister's bump.

Luna looked aghast at the accusation of cheating. "You know I would never cheat, this is serious" she cried.

"Oh Lu Lu, I was just joking. I'm sorry, I forget sometimes you have a hard time telling when I'm joking," Celestia said, remembering the first few days of Luna's return, all the times she playfully ordered someone to the dungeon, everypony laughed but Luna thought that she and everypony else had become unmerciful barbarians since she left. Then there was the time that she told Luna that she sent her favorite toy to the moon while it was getting repaired, even her royal guards gave her an evil look for pulling that one on Lu Lu.

They continued their walk together before being interrupted by Book Cover, her bun once again the paradigm of order, no longer free to wave about and dispense unheard helpful advice. She gave a little cough to get their full attention.
The grey pony's expression became so serious it appeared to be chiseled from stone, this perfect poker face was unreadable save for Celestia, who has been around long enough and knew Book Cover well enough to see she was up to something.

"Well, I figured on both of you attending the class, more for a refresher on Celestia's part so I arranged an appropriate room and seating arrangement. I also have taken the liberty of clearing both of your schedules for the rest of today, so there should be no interruptions. So if you two will please follow me, the instructor I arranged should be arriving shortly," As Book Cover said this she led the two to the prepared classroom.

As she led them Celestia noticed something poking out of Book Cover's pocket. A small black book, but not just any black book, her own black book.

What are you up to? thought Celestia.

"Well here we are, your Majesties" Book Cover said as she opened the doors.

Luna gave a small squeal of delight while Celestia thought.

You're kidding... you're kidding right?

Interlude How to raise a Foal part 2

"You're kidding, your kidding right?" Celestia could not believe it, the room was set up like a grade school classroom complete with two small desks set in the center of the room.

In stark contrast to her sister Luna, who squealed with delight. "Now it's just like real school, this is going to be so much fun.".

Celestia dragged her hooves to her minuscule desk, while Luna skipped and even whistled on her way to hers. As Luna sat down, the seat gave a little squeak, altogether the lunar princess was well within it's weight capacity but as Celestia began to sit down the chair gave a much louder protest to this royal flank. The two waited, the silence in the faux classroom only occasionally punctuated by Luna's giggles and Celestia's grunts as she tried to get comfortable. The chair remained silent, quietly enduring it's burden knowing that another outburst may lead to banishment or a one way trip to the incinerator.

"Celly, do you know who is going to teach us?"

"Teaching you my dear, I am just here for emotional support" and then under her breath,"and to find out what Book Cover is up to,". I taught her the art of the prank too well, she is the joke equivalent to Twilight, thorough and unparallelled in knowledge of her given subject, not including herself and a certain pink earth pony.

The door to the classroom opened slightly, a pony slowly and cautiously entered the room. "Ummm hello. eep!" came a demure yellow pegasus, her pink hair doing it's best to hide her obviously frightened face.

Fluttershy was unfortunately caught between a rock and a hard place, on one hoof she was still frightened of Luna and of Celestia, on the other she was ordered by Celestia herself to not only teach them but to also treat them both as regular ponies, on the third hoof she still owed Celestia for not getting mad about taking Philomeena without permission, and then on the fourth hoof she had to do a good job or the poor new foal might not get the care it needs. With that fourth hoof heavy on her mind she steeled herself for the task at hand.

"I was told by Ms. Cover that you both needed to learn about early foalhood care," the statement almost sounded like a question coming from the meek pegasus.

"It is Luna that needs some teaching, I myself am quite well versed in caring for children." Celestia was having an ever growing disdain for the tiny wooden frame and for the entire situation, neither of which offered her any form of comfort, despite all of her fidgeting.

"OK then, but I will still ask you some questions, so you can teach your sister by example of course," Fluttershy knew it was better to play along with Celestia then to outright fight her on the issue. I wonder why she asked me to treat her like a student, just to deny it in front of Luna? Is she ashamed she needs lessons?

"That is acceptable. Luna, make sure to take good notes," Celestia said. If ever arrogance needed a mascot then it need not look further.

"Well first of all did you two decide whether to pick a name now or see if there is a cutie flash?" Fluttershy asked.

A puzzled look adorned Luna's face.
"Cutie flash?" Luna asked.

"Ohh! right, you have been gone when we finally figured this out. Let's see, about 30% of the time when a foal is born, their future cutie mark will appear for a brief few seconds, it has become an unofficial tradition to sometimes name the foal after their future special talent," Celestia explained.

Fluttershy then began to add "But it happens so quickly that sometimes even when it does happen everypony misses it, and some ponies will stick with family names or want to keep it a surprise."

Luna furiously scribbled notes, her eagerness to learn and her determination to do well was unbearably cute. With her cheeks giving her an almost pout, as her tongue just barely leaving her lips.

"Well if he get's a cutie flash then I guess we will name him after it, but if he doesn't his name will be Artemis," Luna grinned at the name, it was the name of her favorite constellation.

"No, it will be Solaris," Celestia chided.

"Artemis!" Luna refused to give in to her sister.

"You got to choose the gender so I get to choose the name!" Celestia also wouldn't budge on the issue.

"Alright how about we make this interesting Celly, whoever answers the most questions right gets to pick the name."

"Oh it is On!" Celestia's jaw clenched, her teeth on edge. (Author's note: apparently this line has to be in every fanfic, it's law I guess)

The two turned their fiery gazes from each other to their poor teacher. Fluttershy let out another little squeak.
Remember Fluttershy: it's for the foal, it's for the foal, you have to be brave, if they don't learn from you they might end up like Twilight, cooking without supervision, Fluttershy shivered slightly at this thought.

"I'll keep score," said a hyperactive pink party pony.

"Pinkie? How did you get here?" Fluttershy asked.

"I was in the carriage that you came in silly, you were too busy freaking out to notice. How did you think I got here, jumping through chapters or something?" responded Pinky Pie.

"Well, uhh I guess, umm I don't understand, let's just get started." "So first question: when a foal is teething and is getting fussy what do you do?"

Celestia raised her hoof, "Oooh you dip your hoof in brandy and let it suck, calms them right down."

Fluttershy 's jaw dropped, "What are you, insane? You never give a little foal alcohol!"

Luna remembered one of the books she read earlier, ‘Fifty facts and Fallacies about Foalhood’, and realized the answer.
"Oooh! You take a piece of frozen tangerine and have them suck on it, and take care they don't swallow the whole thing."

Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief, happy to know one of them could be trusted with a foal. "That's right Luna, although you can use other fruits as well as long as they are low on citric acids because they can upset the foals poor tummy."

Luna beamed and began to gloat.
"That's right Celly, looks like your not all that," Luna crossed her forelegs in front of her to imitate the singers on tv, "Boyyy!"

Celestia paused in shock and thought, Note to self: Take away Luna's tv privileges, and record her the next time she pulls that and blackmail her for all eternity.

"Oooh! It looks like this is gonna get good," chimed Pinkie Pie.

Subject 3 part 1 First Contact

Dusk Shine always felt funny after a cross dimensional jump, even using stored magic and with the aid of his new device it left him feeling weak and disoriented. Thankfully the spell worked almost perfectly and he only had to detour through two or three other dimensions, one had him laid over for a full hour before sending him to his destination. It was a funny universe one of it's inhabitants was a yellow haired behemoth that kept calling him "talking horsey" despite all the times he clearly said his name.

1 hour ago Pop's Diner:

Johnny Bravo was enjoying a strawberry milkshake, sporting a fresh black eye beneath his trademark shades. The diner was completely empty with Pop's being in the back making a fresh batch of meatloaf. He laid back into the red vinyl booth of the retro style restaurant, contemplating deep thoughts.

"Mmmmm! Meatloaf," he said flinging his head back as drool slowly descended from his mouth. Before he could further ruminate on the finer aspects of bread shaped meat dishes, a flash of light and a loud crack filled the room.

"Carl, this better not be another one of your geeky science majiggers," he angrily protested while reflexively protecting his hair from the possible threat to his follicles.

The bright flash would have blinded him without his sunglasses, which allowed him to quickly spot a small purple horse at the center of disturbance, it's hind end had what appeared to be a tattoo.

"Man! Momma won't let me get a tattoo and here's a horse with one,I never get to have any fun."

The strange creature turned to Bravo before looking at a small device strapped to his hoof. "Aggh two layovers in a row, and this one is for a whole hour, Twilight is going to be ticked if I am tardy for our study group!"

Johnny could only stare blankly his mind slowly coming to grips with the sight before him.

"Wait, sorry. I am being rude, and after all I did popped into your Universe uninvited, my name is Dusk Shine," the purple pony claimed.

One of Johny's eyebrows arched, his mind racing to comprehend this turn of events, giving him only one course of action. Here he was, greeting a being from not just from another world but from another universe; true first contact in every sense. He knew then the monumental task before him but he continued undaunted, quickly shrinking the distance of the two beings. Two so different on the outside but perhaps on the inside they are filled with the same fears, same desires, the same loneliness that can only be filled by just knowing that they are not alone in the infinity of existence. The distance between the two now only a matter of inches, large purple eyes staring into their owner's own reflection cast by Bravo's sunglasses, both continued to stare unsure of the others motivations.

Slowly Bravo reached out his hand, a single digit slowly extending, finally resting at the tip of Dusk's muzzle. Before Dusk could open his mouth to protest, Bravo spoke.

"Talking horsey" he said.

"No, it's Dusk."

"Horsey."

"No, repeat after me Duu ssskk SHhhhh iiiiinnnnee."

Bravo in perfect imitation of Dusk's mannerisms responded,
"TAaaa lllkkiiinggg Horr sssseey."

"Dusk Shine," he responded as fast as he could.

"Horsey," Bravo repeated equally fast.

This went on until the timer on Dusk's wrist counted down to zero, in which a familiar white light began to surround Dusk.He let out a sigh of relief to finally be back on his way to his destination.

"Ohh thank Solaris, I'll finally be out of here" Dusk groaned.

Unfortunately Dusk did not notice that a few stray strands of magic had grabbed a hold of the annoying pest in front of him, dragging the strange creature on his inter-dimensional journey.

In the infinite void between world's before being drug into Dusk Shine's destination Bravo had one last thought, profound in it's simplicity.

"Woah, it's really big in here!"

Present Canterlot:

Another bright flash finally brought Dusk to his goal or at least close enough, his plan was to reach the library on Canterlot, but he knew that the new device he used for the spell might throw off his aim and timing a bit until he worked out the bugs. It also beat arriving completely exhausted instead of the temporary exhaustion that came from these jumps. Before he made his way to the library he decided to check out the local paper like he and Twilight always do on these little trips to see if there where any major differences in how the world was running in their two universes.

He trotted up to a paper vendor and tossed some bits to the old mare running it.

"Hmmm, wait, this parasprite attack is exactly like the one that happened at home. But that was days ago," he whispered to himself.

He checked the date and noticed it was indeed from two days ago.

"Mam this seems to be an old newspaper, could I get today's?"

"What are you talking about? that is today's paper you idjit!" the crotchety mare replied.

"Ohh no oh no, somehow I ended up here too early. Oh no, what will I do now?" he whispered to himself, completely unaware of the teal unicorn slowly creeping up on him.

Subject 3 part 2, Doppleganger chase mambo

Okay, Dusk Shine let’s make a list and see where it went terribly wrong, thought Dusk

Twilight and I set up a study schedule where I visit her at the end of each month and she visits me at the beginning of each month unless there are scheduling conflicts, in which case we use the mirror to cancel the visit.

Nothing wrong with that one, it’s always nice to have somepony that can keep up with me. Plus we can study two subjects at the same time and then explain them to each other perfectly.

The spell to travel between our worlds takes a lot of magic and leaves the user drained for a couple days.

This was bad, especially if we wanted to practice spells with each other; one of us being completely incapacitated in terms of magic is never a good thing.

So I invented a device that I could put a little magic in each day and since there are only two worlds I want to go to, Twilight’s and mine, it was easier to hard-wire for two coordinates. I also decided I would test it on this trip.

For the most part it worked OK; there are many bugs, including the layovers in other dimensions but for it was an interesting experience, with the exception of the buffoon.

Apparently by going through multiple dimensions I somehow went back in time two days, which means Twilight is still in her Ponyville.

Which means no pony is expecting me, which really wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for item five.

“SOME LUNATIC IS SHOOTING AT ME!!!!!” Dusk yelled out loud.

Moments after Dusk's arrival he walked to a newsstand, and thankfully moved a few inches as a dart went buzzing past him hitting the cranky newspony next to him.

“You crazy HOODLUM watch whacha doizzzzZZZZzzzzz,” the newspony said before passing out in her stall.

Instinct took over as Dusk whinnied before running as fast as his legs could take him. Another dart whizzed by, after which Dusk threw up a magical shield. Inside Dusk’s mind his crisis center was working overtime, trying to think of an escape from this situation.

Inside Dusk’s mind:

“Number One, do we know who is firing on us yet?” said a bald grey pony, his maroon uniform showing his strong build.

The bridge he was standing on was a gleaming testament to technology and design, filled with several ponies and other species working at their stations, each with an important job to do, all of them skilled and well-seasoned. Number one, a bearded stallion, trotted briskly to his seat by the captain, ready to do his duty.

“No, we do not, remember: we are in an alternate dimension, so even if we did know them we would only know their alternate self,” replied Number One.

“What course of action do you suggest?” said the Captain

Then an earth pony with an unnatural looking coat of gleaming white and golden eyes turned to the captain.

“If I might make a suggestion, Captain: at this time we are currently at full impulse speed, and with our shields up we do not have the energy or processing power to do much else,” said the unnatural looking pony.

“That sounded more like an assessment then a suggestion, Commander Data,” replied the captain while Number one gave the pony a questioning look.

“I just wanted to make sure you were informed before I voiced my plan. I suggest we make use of the terrain, to block off the line of fire between us and our pursuer, then we hide as best we can, allowing us the few seconds necessary to teleport, and as the saying goes: get them off our tails.”

A Buffalo with a strange wrinkled forehead working behind the Captain began to say, “That will be useless if we remained within their sensor range, and from the look of that ship’s exterior, it’s built for pursuing its prey. I say that we stay and fight.”

Data, undeterred, responded “While I agree with Worf’s assessment of the enemy ship, we are simply unprepared in terms of offensive measures, seeing as we have and still are on a research mission.”

The captain rested his head on his hoof, listened to both sides and pondered the situation; he looked up at the main viewing screen and could see they were running low on power.

“This ship is not built for long distance, let alone at our current speed. We should max at Trot 5.4 at the most, but we are currently going at Trot 6” he thought.

“Helm take us through the alley way, if this universe is like our own then there should be a small passage to a courtyard where we can go three different ways. Geordi, when we get into the courtyard prepare a hologram for the left and forward passage and we will go to the right,” The captain ordered with conviction.

A dark brown pony with a visor over his eyes turned to the captain in response to his name.

“Captain, we will have to drop shields to prepare the holograms,” Geordi responded.

“If we drop them the instant we enter the alleyway we should be outside her firing arc for 2.6 seconds, enough time to prepare,” responded Data flatly.

“Make it so,” said the Captain.

Out in the Real world:

Dusk was starting to get winded but he had a plan to get away from this crazy pony. He darted into a dark alley way he used as a shortcut to Pony Jane’s doughnuts and took down his shield and began to focus the magic in his horn to form some holograms. He had only seconds to form the magic properly, one mistake and the holograms would be recognized.

“Okay, I’m in the courtyard. Gotta release the spell the instant before she pokes her head through the alleyway. Okay, now!” he thought as he released the magic and darted to the right.

“The illusion will last about a minute running in random directions, which should be enough time to get far enough to teleport a few times out of range of her senses; hopefully she doesn’t know how to sense a teleport spell, so one should do, but just in case I’ll do three.”

As he made his way to the next hiding spot that he can breathe and teleport, he heard a familiar buzz as a dart flew by nicking his cheek drawing a few drops of blood.

“You think some illusions are going to stop me? Mine is the will that will create a god, with you I will create a double helix, a ladder to the heavens themselves, I am Diana Heartstrings, PhD and I will not be denied!”

On top of the wall behind him he saw her; a silhouette, her eyes glowing, and the glow of her magic swirling around her tranq gun was popping and crackling. She had lost her hat in the chase, allowing her teal mane to sway in the breeze; she was both frightening and beautiful, like a lioness right before the kill. Dusk was frozen, the madness and the ferocity of his pursuer locked his legs, but he could still act.

“Fire all weapons!!!” shouted The Captain

Still locked in place, the magic was drawn from his entire body, swelling into his horn as he released blast after blast, decimating the wall that the hinter was standing on. Quickly she jumped down and fired her gun, as the dart flew through the air it was incinerated by one of the blasts. When she reached the ground she quickly aimed and fired again, this time only releasing a small click.

“Celestia damn it,” she spat

Diana released her magic, dropping the gun and started to rush her prey, going in for close range combat.
Dusk was no longer frozen and started to fire multiple small blasts at once allowing him to use less energy but also to increase his firing spread. Unfortunately, the madmare quickly crossed the gap between them, coming in close with her horn. She sliced upward with her horn, the magic surrounding it buzzing like a saw, narrowly missing Dusk’s face as it cut off a few strands of hair.

Dusk had little time to contemplate his near-death, and instead focused all of his power into her horn. His magic touched hers that under normal circumstances would have been intimate but instead was painful; the buzzing magic cut into his first wave, but was soon overwhelmed. Dusk began to push deeper, ignoring the phantom pain; wave after wave of magic from the powerful sorcerer overwhelmed the Doctor’s own. Then Dusk saw it in his mind’s eye, like a pane of glass, or more like a lens that focuses the magic under the mind’s direction. Normally he would never consider this, or at least have a better plan.

Well, she will recover. I think, he thought before he forced his magic once more and cracked the glass.

With that the teal unicorn gasped in pain before passing out, slumped over in the street. For a minute Dusk could do nothing, the buzz of adrenaline made his pangs of guilt on what he just done feel all the more confusing and disquieting. Timidly he reached his magic back to the unconscious pony; looking into her mind and was relieved to see the cracks already mending.

“At that rate you should be able to use magic in just a day or two,” he said.

He knew he couldn’t leave her like this and even if he was heartless enough to leave her weak and defenseless, she was a danger to others. He needed to find some guards; she could then recover in one of their cells safely away from normal ponies.

Dusk went out into the open street and saw three guards at the doughnut shop. He silently mused to himself about how the cute Jane from his universe was a well built stallion in this universe, whom he would not want to get into a tussle with here.

The shop owner spotted the disheveled Dusk and chalked up his messiness for pulling another all-nighter. “Ohh hey Dusk, where’s Twilight? I never see you here without her,” said Joe.

“I’m here a little early for our rendezvous. Also, I have business with these guards so if you’ll excuse me,” Dusk replied shakily, drawing concern from Joe.

One of the guards turned around at this and gave the purple unicorn a quick look over and saw that he had one hell of a night.

“What seems to be the problem?” he said.

“Some crazy mare has been chasing me through the streets, attacking me ever since I arrived in Canterlot,” Dusk replied, his exhaustion making his word’s tremble.

“She cornered me over there and we had a fight. I managed to knock her out, I think she is alright but she is dangerous she had a dart gun of some kind,” his words began to crack under his emotion.

“Shooter, you stay with the poor fella while we check it out,” He said as him and his fellow officer got up to check out the alley.

Shooter leaned over and gave a comforting hoof to the trembling Dusk. Joe, seeing his distress and hearing the whole thing, came over with a pot of coffee and poured him a cup while mumbling that it was on the house.

“Its okay. Don’t worry, you’re safe now, no ponies going to hurt you” Shooter gave the warmest smile he could muster to the distressed colt.

Dusk calmed down a bit and leaned down to drink the coffee, either too tired or distressed to muster the magic to pick it up properly. Dusk started to clear his mind and start to think I am safe now, just calm down and rest.... He soon realized that his hoofs were shaking from all of the stress, and he could barely keep himself up. It's over now. I just need to get a hotel room and I can sleep until Twilight shows up. Yeah, that's a good plan, he thought.

“Looks like Kite and Ballistae are done checking out your assailant,” Shooter said, spotting his compatriots leaving the alley.
Then Dusk heard something that made his blood freeze, it was the guard that he originally talked to.

“SEIZE HIM!!!”

Shooter didn’t need to grab Dusk; the poor boy simply passed out and slumped over, knocking his coffee off the table.

Interlude How to raise a Foal part 3 Who shall win?

"Hello everypony and welcome back, this is Pinkamena Diane Pie and for our listeners at home just tuning in we have the competition of a lifetime. In one corner we have our favorite to win, you've known her since the dawn of time, Princess Celestia!!!" said Pinkie, bedecked in a tweed jacket, glasses, and a bristle mustache behind a old time radio mic.
Polite applause built up to a deafening roar in support of the solar monarch who politely waved before realizing there was no pony there.

With a twitch of her new found mustache, Pinkie continued.

"And in the other corner we have - excuse the pun - the dark horse contender..." at this the invisible crowd gave a laudable groan of contempt with Luna giving a noticeable blush behind a sheepish grin. "... The regent of the night, the mare who put the mare in Nightmare and current spokespony of Spock's Socks, Princesss LUUuuunnaaa!"

With this the crowd went straight to a deafening roar and wild stomping in beat with a chant "LUNA LUNA LUNA...."
Luna's blush deepened, who unlike her sister enthusiastically waved and blew air kisses across the mostly empty classroom.

"The current score is 3 to 2 in favor of Princess Luna. So how do you think she was able do do this Twilight?" Pinkie said as she turned to a familiar purple unicorn.

"Pinkie, how did I get here?" she asked.

"Well these things always need two commentators otherwise its Boring with a capital B just like it was earlier in the sentence. Besides, you were planning on going to Canterlot soon anyways," replied Pinkie.

"Wait, how did you know I was going to Canterlot?" Twilight questioned.

"Well you always go to Canterlot to use the University’s library when you study with Dusky Wusky," she said making sure to emphasize the last part in the most seductive voice she could muster.

"Pinkie, it's not like that, we are like siblings, and we just like to study together," Twilight defended.

"Well you still need to help me with commentary," Pinkie stated, undeterred.

"Fine... from what I've seen, Luna has up to date information from the latest experts on foalcare, which is good, except to her it is all theory and no practice, while Celestia is relying on her experiences from a few hundred years ago and what time she has spent with each generation of the royal family. So she has solid experience, but with each generation it seems she has had less hoofs on experience and thus has become severely out of date."

"There you have it folks, Book smarts versus Street smarts, Newschool vs Oldschool, we will see which one wins in Foal Fact Fight Federation 1," shouted the pastel sports announcer.

"Alright let us turn to our judge Fluttershy to find out the next challenge," as Pinkie said this a spotlight moved from her to a silky, pink tail. The pony it was attached to was hiding behind a curtain, whimpering at the sudden attention. Cautiously she poked her head out from the curtain, and noticed the room was indeed still relatively empty. Sighing in relief she regained her composure and went to a bag that Book Cover had provided for the lesson.

"Umm, Ms. Cover gave me a few things we might need for the lesson, umm. I think we can use these and see which pony can do it faster.. if that's okay," she said.

Out from the bag she pulled out two matching foal dolls, just like the ones that children play with, complete with diapers. She walked over to the Princesses tables and placed the dolls with the same level of care as she would real foals. She then went back to the bag and grabbed all of the other things needed such as fresh diapers and baby powder. When she placed the bottle of powder a small amount poofed up onto her nose.

"AAAAAchooooo!" she sneezed barely audibly.

"Awwwwww!" cooed the nonexistent audience.

"Eeep!" squealed Fluttershy, as she retook residence behind the curtain.

"Well, folks, it looks like a physical challenge, and knowing how these things go... well, let's just wait and see. Twilight, since our judge is currently having a bout of stage fright, how about you lead us off."

"OK, Princesses, are you ready?" announced Twilight.

Electricity seemed to be sparking between their eyes, each attempting to stare the other down.

"Ready," they said in unison.

"Go!" Twilight shrieked into her mic, quickly blushing at her outburst.

Over at her desk, Luna was working diligently, going step by step, but she kept pausing, thinking about how best to proceed. The original diaper was clean but as she prepared the new diaper a terrible odor filled her nostrils.

"Ohh, good heavens what is that foul smell?" Luna said as she turned to her sister's table.

Celestia, unlike her sister, worked quickly with practiced precision, and when the doll proceeded to perform an all to real bowl movement, she didn't even bat an eyelash and continued to clean the faux foal with care.

As Luna was still astonished at the doll's all too accurate bodily functions, she failed to notice her doll's own surprise. Luna, not paying attention felt a warm wetness hit her cheek and in a truly amateur move she turned towards her doll with her mouth and eyes open.

"Oooh, now that's one shower that won't get you clean, Princess," Pinkie chimed.

"Pinkie, that is disgusting. Princess, are you okay?" Twilight asked, concerned.

After a few seconds of spitting and redirecting the flow of the doll with magic Luna responded, "We are fine Twilight, tis’ just a temporary setback," as she said this, somehow a second stream shot her directly in the eye.

"Hey Twi, don't look away. You're going to have to learn this as well, since you're going to be an aunt," urged Pinkie.

"For the last time Pinkie: I am not in any way shape or form related to Celestia or Luna. I am not their sister, I am not one of their daughters, I am not some long lost offshoot of the royal family!" Twilight ranted, finishing with a frustrated look, her heavy breathing boring down on the fuchsia source of her growing migraine.

"I know that silly willy," Pinkie off hoofedly replied, shrugging off the frustrated purple unicorn.

"But, then... what? Ugh, never mind," Twilight huffed crossing, her hooves over her chest.

During the announcer’s little tirade, Luna was having some more difficulty of her own.

"Foul creature! Ye shall pay for thine insolence, you ungrateful whelp!"

Celestia, having finished her doll, sat there, bemused at her sister's distress.
"Here, sister just let me show you," Celestia said as she walked over, quickly ending the torrent and cleaned up the doll. After the doll was cleaned and fresh, Celestia pulled several wipes from the bag and cleaned off her frustrated sister.

As Celestia wiped up the offending liquid, she noticed the fresh tears streaming down Luna's newly cleaned cheek, "I failed, I'm going to be a terrible sister."

"Don't worry Lu Lu. You will do great, no pony ever figures these things out right away," Celestia comforted her and gave her a hug.

"Alright, thank you Celly, I feel better now. Can we keep going?" she said as she returned her sister's hug.

"As you wish," Celestia said as she continued to comfort Luna.

The rest of the competition continued with little incident, aside from when Celestia blew up her baby monitor and Luna modified hers to give the child's vitals.

"Well Twi, what's the tally?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight was lying down on the announcing desk, Luna's baby monitor beeping in time with her vitals. She slowly shifted, revealing a missing eyebrow from Celestia's fiasco.

"Ugh, I think..." she started before passing out.

"What about you Fluttershy?" Pinkie pleaded to her timid friend.

Pinkie looked toward the curtain that she was hiding behind but spotted neither hide nor hair of the kind pegasus.

"I'm up here," the soft voice said from the chandelier. "From what I saw, it looks like they both are good in their own ways, I think it should be a tie... if that's okay," she continued.

"A tie! We can't have a tie. Ooooh! That means we can have a super, de-duper lightning round, Sqeeeee!" the bubbly pony sang as she dove head first into the bag looking for something to use for the lightning round.

"That will not be necessary, I believe that me and my sister agree that a tie will do just fine, isn't that right Luna?" she said turning towards her sister.

Luna nodded in approval. "I agree. Clearly between the two of us we can do a fine job raising the foal, and we can just find a name that we can both agree on," she replied.

Pinkie was a little disappointed as she put down the hard helmets with blenders attached to the top, but quickly cheered back up.

"Ooooh you should name him Bob." She said.

"Bob?" said Luna

"Bob?" questioned Celestia.

"Bob?" whispered Fluttershy.

"Excelsior?" blurped Twilight.

At that they all burst out laughing, all of the tension of the long day melting away in the music, like merriment of their laughter.

Rest, Relax and Reinforcements

Diana returned to the University, only occasionally relying on Kite to keep her steady. She reluctantly went to her living quarters instead of the lab. Every bone ached in her body, with the worst of the pain focused squarely on her forehead. After a bit of convincing and assuring she would get some rest, she was finally rid of her escort. She needed to let Beaker know she was in no condition to continue the experiment for at least a day or two but she could barely walk another step.

It's not that late, there should be an evening class ending in a few minutes she thought as she limped towards her desk.

She tried to marshal her magic into the pen, but found her efforts only brought back her splitting headache, with only a half hearted wiggle of the utensil to show for it. Forced to pick up the pen with her mouth she slowly set to her work, vague recollections of the last time she had to use her mouth or hoof for such a task. After a few strenuous minutes she finished her note to Beaker as well as a letter to her mentor, she groaned as she raised herself and made her way back to the door.

"Didn't think my room was this big. Must make it to door! Must get note to Beaker before he does something stupid!" she gasped each word as she slowly made her way to the door. After a few minutes of fumbling the doorknob with her hooves she was greeted with an empty hallway.

"Must still be a few more minutes until evening classes end, I'll just sit back and rest for a while," she said.

She leaned back against her door, her short mane just barely covering her eyes against the harsh electric light of the hallway. After only a few seconds, she fell asleep, occasionally waking at the odd noise or cool breeze on coat, wet with a slight sweat. Before long her restless sleep calmed to a deeper one, the odd image and scene flitting through her subconscious.

She found herself working at a counter, diligently chopping vegetables and dropping them into a warming stew pot. The house was strangely familiar but none that she ever saw in real life, it was her dream home, someplace simple to escape from her work. She loved her work, but sometimes even something you love can hang on you like a heavy chain.

It's been a while since I've had this dream. I wonder if this time the beans are ripe. Whenever she had this dream the season always changed with so suit her mood, often showing her just the right atmosphere to calm her down. Outside she was greeted with a glorious autumn sunset; the pinks and blues mixing with oranges and greens, like Celestia's mane gently rocking her solar, ward to sleep. Looks like they aren't quite ready yet, they would have been great in the stew. She half-knew that she would wake up before she could finish the dinner, it was always preparing the meal that brought the most joy.

"Mommy? Where are you?" came a small and scared voice from inside.

"Wait I'm always alone in these dreams," she said before once again forgetting she was dreaming.

Nervously, she re-entered her home, her hooves giving an unnaturally loud clop with each step on the cobblestone floor. She peered back into the kitchen and there in the middle of the dining room was a small foal, quietly sobbing with hooves shielding it's head as it lay on the floor. Forgetting her earlier trepidation, she quickly scooped up the child in her hooves and gently calmed it down, the same way her mother did when she was scared.

"Mommy, I was scared."

"Shhhh, it's okay," She said as she gently rocked the upset foal.

"What's wrong? You can tell me," she reassured.

"I had a bad dream: you were gone forever, and... and I couldn't follow you. You left, you didn't want to leave, but you had to, and I couldn't follow..." as the foal said this she looked down and saw him, her whole world bundled up in a single pony and he was crying.

"It's okay baby, I will always be there for you, even if I'm not really there," she said as she held him tight, shedding some tears of her own.

"Are you okay Mommy?" he said sniffling back the last of his tears, trying to be strong for her.

"Are you okay?" he said again.

"Are you okay Professor Heartstrings?"

With just a small pause, Dr. Heartstrings remembered exactly where she was. Her dream already fading from memory, but the emotions remained. Without the memories they felt out of place and quickly lost their power over her; they slowly sank to the bottom of her heart, out of thought and covered up.

"I'm fine, just need some more rest. Could you do me a favor and deliver this to the research department? Make sure it gets to Dr. Beaker and tell him to follow the instructions and to have this letter delivered in the morning," She addressed the young student.

The student huffed a little bit at the sudden extra errand she had to run, but a mix of fear of failure and need to suck up to the professor kept any complaints at bay.

"Yes, right away, professor. I will see you next week in class," she said as she took the letters and made her way down the hallway.

"No you won't, I'll be a little bit busy," she knowingly whispered to herself as she got up and leaned against the wall making her way back to her room and back to sleep.

I wonder if I will continue my dream. It was sad but I liked it, whatever it was, she thought as she quickly fell once again into deep slumber.

Meanwhile, back in the laboratory Beaker had his hoofs full with keeping the three test subjects at bay. Thankfully one kept his mouth busy eating all of his replacement tacos he got with Braeburn, who himself was losing patience with being cooped up for so long. The third one, a purple unicorn, kept waking up, looking around the room and spotting Johnny, Braeburn, or some of the equipment, mumble something, and then pass out again.

A few minutes ago one of the student's from the Biology class he sometimes assisted in dropped off a note and letter, but he was too busy at the time to read them. With a quick glance he looked over the note addressed to him and his bright orange mane stood straight up before wilting.

"I have to keep them occupied for a few days!"

Peaceful mornings and bubbles

Ditzy Doo got up at 5 am as she did every day, gave her little muffin a kiss on the cheek before having her second favorite kind of muffin for breakfast. She found these quite mornings very peaceful before the chaos that being a mailmare usually brought, even if she was the one that caused it. Giving her hoof a quick lick to get the last crumbs of her breakfast before making her way to the basement to check if any of her hobbies were disturbed overnight. It all seemed fine, some of the older devices seemed to be collecting dust since she didn't have as much time to work with them these days.
When she climbed back up to the living room she found the scarf Dinky made for her last winter and a note taped to a thermos.

She must have woken up earlier to make me coffee she thought, a smile bringing warmth and cheer to the grey pegasus.

She reached down, grabbed the note with her teeth and set it on the table, carefully focusing her eyes to read the small and lovely writing of her daughter.

"I love you Mommy, have a good day and don't get hurt, love Dinky," it said with little hearts surrounding a picture of the two.

As she flew out she took a quick look back at the house she has been living in, made into a home with her daughter and her best friend Carrot top,she then continued to lazily fly to the center of Ponyville, taking in the brisk Autumn air.

She laughed as she thought, I wouldn't trade this life for the world, even if I don't always get to do what I want.

She knew she could take one of her shortcuts to get to the post office quickly but she preferred to start slow in the mornings, plus the shortcuts are easier to spot in the light.

Finally making her way to the office she began her day by sorting letters and setting aside priority packages. She took advantage of her eye problem by looking at two letters at once, quickly breezing through the enormous stack of letters to the citizens of Ponyville and organizing the letters from Ponyville to the proper cities. She always gave a little smile at the lone letter to Appleloosa that graced her desk. It was from one of her favorite customers, the country mare that always sets aside an apple muffin for her even when she had no mail to send. Normally she wouldn't deliver a single letter all that way personally, but it was worth it and extra long trips sometimes caused interesting side effects. Plus it was only once a month so it wasn't too much trouble.

Before setting out she went to a small contraption in the corner of the office and turned it on, a small hum emanated from it as it came to life, a small motes of dust, burned bright orange in the morning sun as they slowly orbited the rounded end of the device.

Taking all of the letters for the south-east side of town, she settled her saddle bags over her haunches and trotted out of the doorway, greeted by the now fully awakened sun. With the brilliant rays of light peaking over the sleepy village, she looked for the tell tale signs of her shortcuts.

Okay, one over there, and another intersecting at that angle means that it should end over by the watering hole if I hit it right, she thought, doing a barrel roll that should have made her collide with the house in front of her.

The south-east side of town had many of the early risers of Ponyville, which meant lots of happy greetings to the cross eyed pegasus. She kept her smile all through the early morning, occasionally waving, crossing her eyes further before seeming to collide with another building.

Mrs. Cake going for her morning run always gave a start whenever she did this and trotted to where she once again expected to see the poor dear rubbing her head after the crash. Sometimes she was there, grumbling about bubbles, but most of the time Mrs. Cake found nopony around. Once again she found herself staring at an empty alley where the blonde pegasus should have been. She knew Ditzy could not have gone unscathed, so she promised herself that she would give the poor girl an extra treat when she came by Sugercube corner.

Back at the post office Ditzy was pouring herself some of the coffee from the thermos her daughter prepared, savoring the bittersweet taste of the cinnamon accented brew. Before setting out for the next corner she waited for the Priority Mail pony, since Ponyville wasn't a big town they never got their priority mail early enough to go before her early rounds. Thankfully most of them are to the business district like Carousel Boutique or Sugercube corner and they weren't until her afternoon routes so it didn't cause as much backtracking. She finally finished draining the last of her coffee by the time the baby blue, pegasus arrived and gave her a very small bundle of letters and a single package.

"See ya tomorrow Derpy," the young colt said before flying off.

Ditzy blushed a little, a mix of embarrassment and nostalgia flooded over her. Derpy was a nickname she wasn't always so fond of which she got back in her University days. She made better than average grades but always managed to have the time to be a class clown, while most ponies worried about figuring out the gravitational pull of two equal masses in the presence of a third greater mass directly in the middle, she worried about how to throw a paper airplane from below her desk and hit the professor in the back of the head. The classes were not so easy that she didn't need to pay attention, she just found such distractions helped her mental process, sometimes she would shout out random words to clear her head enough to figure out a particularly hard problem, much to the chagrin of her fellow students and the proctors.

Quickly downing a mid-morning muffin she sorted through the small stack of letters. There were the usual ones, special order from Hoity Toity, she rolled her eyes at his idea of priority mail even Rarity complained that they were "much ado about nothing," as she would say. At the bottom of the stack was a letter addressed to herself from the University she studied and worked at before moving to Ponyville. Stuffing it into her personal saddle bag she went on with her work and set out again.

OK, that one is no good. Maybe this one... no, that will take me too far no matter what angle I use, she thought, constantly scanning the area looking very intense for a pony apparently staring at empty air.

She skewed her eyes further until a big grin plastered her face, finding exactly what she was looking for. She then flew straight into the well at the center of town.

This one is going to be close, she thought, before spitting out chicken feathers.

The owners of said feathers freaked out and squawked at the intruder, forcing her out of the same narrow exit she was trying to get through anyway. She popped out of the small opening before turning around facing the coop.

"Thanks for helping me get out of there," she smiled and gave a warm wave at the foul mooded fowls.

Said poultry gave angry squawks and rude gestures with their wings at the friendly pegasus. Ditzy either failed to see or chose to ignore the distressed chickens and skipped along to the cottage of the bird's owner.

"I brought you a letter," she cheerily sang as she knocked on the door.

With no answer she placed the letter through the slot, wondering where the fellow pegasus went. She continued flying onward trying to see if a shortcut would appear which would take her to final long distance destination, Sweet Apple Acres. She soon spotted the familiar streaks of light seeming to reflect off of nothing led her eyes to a bubble she could only see out of the corner of her eyes. Within the surface of the bubble were a myriad design of shapes and colors, each pattern giving her an idea of how far and what direction they would lead. Finding a suitable pattern she figured out her trajectory to approach the bubble to hit it in the sweet spot so as not to burst the fragile anomaly.

Unfortunately this one was near a tree. She never had luck with ones near trees, but it looked like it was the only one suitable nearby, and she wanted to be done in time to wave to Dinky during her lunch at school.

She performed a wide yaw and thanked Celestia that this one would only need a simple flight to hit it. In a few seconds she was flying high over an expanse of delicious looking apples hanging temptingly on the trees. The bubble took her to the other side of the orchard opposite of the farmhouse but it was still much faster then flying from the edge of the Everfree. checking the position of the sun she could tell that she was actually a good hour early.

"One of the bubbles must have been a bit wibbley, wobbly on the time," she mused to herself.

She swooped down with her usual level of grace and walked over to the apple themed mailbox, with a familiar orange pony next to it setting a fresh muffin on top of it.

"Hi Applejack!" Ditzy beamed.

Startled, the applefarmer nearly knocked over the treat off the mailbox.

"Oh hey, Ditzy, din't see you there, yer usually not here for a while," Applejack’s southern twang make each word sound sweet and caring.

"Uhh? you know me: speedy, friendly and," Ditzy started.

"Ahn reliable, I know. That's why I give ya a treat specially since you get mah letters to Braeburn lickety split, I don't know how ya do it, whenever somepony else does yer job it takes a good month to hear back, but sumhow yew manage to get it through in two days," she said almost forming the compliment into a question.

"Ohh, it's just like any other job you got your experienced ponies and your new guys who need to learn the ropes," she said trying to pass off the discrepancy as a simple thing.

"What do ropes have to do with anything? Do ya have to round up the parcels?" she joked.

Ditzy chuckled while Applejack gave her a good natured tussle of her corn yellow main.

"If ya see Braeburn ask him how his trip to Canterlot was... On second thought: don't otherwise you'll be stuck there until the rooster crows," she shouted as Ditzy flew off.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, she gave Dinky her wave at school, got an extra treat at Sugercube corner, saw Rarity be a drama queen as she opened the letter from Hoity Toity and yell how it was the worst possible thing before pulling out a chase lounge chair.

Finally she made it back home where Carrot top prepared some soup and told her about her day. Carrot Top was always a good listener, and was patient with her sudden outbursts.

Remembering the letter, she reached into her saddlebag and opened it. After a few moments of trying to read the small writing, Carrot top popped her reading glasses on her head. Now able to read better, she skimmed through it occasional muttering as she went through.

"Carrot Top, umm? Do you want to come with me to Canterlot for a few days, and maybe help watch Dinky while we're there?"

Carrot top choked a little bit on her soup, giving a few coughs before catching her breath. "Why are you going to Canterlot?" she inquired.

"One of my old friends needs some help and I promised Dinky that I would let her come with me the next time I visited the University," Ditzy said giving Carrot a puppy dog look, just like the one Dinky gave her when she made the request.

Carrot had a hard time believing the simple mailmare graduated from the top University of Canterlot. But then again, some of the projects that Ditzy actually finished downstairs were impressive... at least the ones that didn't blow up.

"Fine, the main harvest is already in and the only thing in the fields are the potatoes. They won't be ready till spring. Just give me a few hours to pack and to make sure you bring something other then Muffins," snorting out the last word due to the memory of their last trip together.

"Whufft?" Ditzy replied with a suitcase handle in mouth, the suitcase having been halfway filled with said pastry.

Carrot Top facehooved as she set out to get ready, deciding to pack Dinky’s bag with essentials but making sure to leave plenty of room for the tiny unicorn to fit whatever she wanted to bring along as well.

"Something tells me this is going to be a long trip," the orange maned pony sighed as she moved the her own suitcase out of the closet.

Back in Canterlot:

"OK Kite, you watch Braeburn, Ballistae you watch Johnny, and Shooter you're pretty friendly with Dusk so you watch him, remember they can go anywhere they want in Canterlot as long as they stay in the city and get back here in the evening," said a different orange maned pony.

Beaker figured it would be a lot easier to just let them get their energy out there then to be cooped up in a lab full of delicate instruments. This thought, on the other hoof, didn't sit well with the three royal guards.

The big one with the siege engine cutie mark was the first to object. "Hey we aren't a bunch of foal sitters, why do we gotta do this?"

Beaker pulled a set of papers out of his lab-coat pocket with his teeth and set them down where the guards could see. "Because I said so and according to these papers, the pecking order goes like this: The Princesses, My boss, Me, The Centrifuge, My Taco, The Dirt, the worms, the bacteria that live the previously stated dirt, and then you. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the Princesses, or Mr. Centrifuge, but he is busy making me some chocolate milk and actually being useful," Beaker ranted.

Although the three guards really wanted to teach him a lesson, the papers checked out and none them wanted to be busted down a rank for going against direct orders.

"Fine. At least we just have to play tour guide for a day or two" said Shooter, who actually wanted the opportunity to make it up tor the purple unicorn he freaked out. The poor guy really went through the ringer and it wasn't his fault his attacker just happened to be cozy with Celestia.

"Besides, what's the worst that can happen?" he said before realizing he had just doomed them all.