My Kingdom of Rubble

Goddamn, I need a nap.

As Ozzy traversed the train back to the caboose, his thoughts were drawn to the event which he had allowed to occur. Being seen as a thief would be troublesome enough, but a rapist? That was never a positive for ones' reputation. As he contemplated on how to not only keep Pinkie from telling her tale but as well as how to spin the story if it did read public ears, Ozzy opened the door to the car where he left his companion. Chrysalis had awoken, and was happily chewing on the remnants of Yeti meat. Ozzy stepped in, and shut the door behind him.

"Ozzy, I was worried as to where you had run off to. What happened?" After she had finished chewing, Chrysalis greeted him in a rather cheery manner, unusual to her normal demeanor. Ozzy, for his part, silently trudged over to the makeshift chair which he had assembled from spare luggage. Even from this distance, Chrysalis could tell that the man was deep in thought on some matter or another. Not knowing how else to make the man talk, she levitated a scrap of meat over to him, which Ozzy accepted without a word.

Are we going to tell her?

Maybe. I have to do some information digging.

"Chrysalis, what's the usual punishment for crimes around here?" He asked, looking to the Changeling. Chrysalis was caught off guard from the sudden question, and grew weary as to why that question had been asked in the first place. "Why do you ask, Ozzy?" He took a bite of meat, looking out toward the rising sun on the horizon. "I'm just curious. We're both thieves, and I want to know what kind of trouble we may get in to."

Seemingly satisfied with his question, but repulsed just in the slightest as he spoke with his mouth full, Chrysalis thought back to her days of Queendom. All of the laws which she enacted, all of the laws that were already in place. "I cannot speak for Equestria, but in the Hive, petty crimes such as thievery or assault were subject to three to five years in prison. For the more serious ones, it all depends on the crime." She wanted more information, though. This line of questioning intrigued her.

"Did you have a specific crime in mind? Something I should know about, perhaps?" Her voice took on a more threatening tone, just in the slightest. Noting the change in octave, Ozzy continued. "Well, you said the 'more serious' ones. I'm assuming that covers murder or rape?" Chrysalis' eyes widened, her alarm growing. "Yes, just like those. Now tell me this: did you commit one of those crimes aboard this train?"

We're going to have to tell her now. She's suspicious of us.

Taking a deep breath, Ozzy hung his head. "Maybe the second one." Chrysalis dropped the meat which she held in her magic, unbelieving of what she was hearing. "You mean... To tell me... That you RAPED somepony aboard this train?" She waited for a response. When she received none, she continued. "After chastising me about stealing, you go and pull something like this?" As a growing sense of anger began to swell inside her, Ozzy just kept his head down.

Chrysalis stood from her makeshift bed and began pacing. "I cannot believe this. I'm starting to believe that I would be better off on my own." At that, Ozzy snapped his head up to glare at Chrysalis. "Oh, I'm sorry Miss 'I'm-about-two-seconds-away-from-dying-of-hunger-in-the-middle-of-a-fucking-snowstorm'. I didn't realize that you had the situation so well under control!" Spinning around to glare at the man, Chrysalis began marching toward him. "I would have been fine! Do you know what they do to rapists in Equestria!? The last one had been turned into a stone statue in the middle of that Sun Bitches' courtyard!"

Chrysalis came to a halt about a foot away from Ozzy. Unwilling to take this abuse lying down, Ozzy stood. "You think I don't know how bad this will be? The most I can hope for is that my threat to the pony will work!" He turned and walked toward where Spike was laying. As he stared down at him, Chrysalis retorted. "What threat? What did you tell her? In fact, WHAT HAPPENED?" She bellowed, her voice carrying throughout the cabin.

Ozzy slowly turned back to the Changeling. "Alright. Long story short: this pink pony caught me in one of the empty cabins, we exchanged words... Something happened, I raped her, then threatened her. Told her that if she ever said anything, I would make it worse for her. Also left her with quite a few injuries." Chrysalis sat on the floor, bringing one of her hooves to massage her temple. She did not say anything for a few moments, and Ozzy awaited the further scolding that he would surely receive.

Before she could continue, however, there was a stirring emanating from the other side of the cabin. The other inhabitant was apparently coming to. Not taking any chances, Ozzy withdrew his machete from his holster, holding it directly in front of the dragons' face. As Spike yawned and pushed himself off from the ground, he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision. As he finished, he was met with the tip of a very sharp machete, and the wielder appeared to be the same alien from that crazy dream that he had.

"Mornin', Sunshine." Ozzy said with a grin.

Spike could have sworn that his heart stopped momentarily. As the alien stood there with that blade to his nose, the former leader of the Changelings walked up directly behind him. Hoping that this was yet another crazy dream, Spike was rewarded with the feeling of levitation by magic.

Holding him up against the wall, Chrysalis walked past Ozzy to stand eye to eye with Spike. Looking directly into his eyes, Chrysalis spoke. "Good morning, tiny dragon. Did you sleep well?" Joviality present in her voice, Spike was on the verge of hyperventilating. To not only be at the mercy of this strange alien, but the Changeling queen herself. Spike cursed his desires to be away from the group of ponies that he called family.

Spike audibly gulped, mustering up enough courage to speak.

"Please don't hurt me." Ozzy chuckled at this, switching the machete in favor of Blood Nap. "Please? What a gentleman." Ozzy turned around, walking towards the center of the cabin. From here, Spike noticed what the alien was wearing, the long brown duster with what appeared to be a bull painted on the back. Before Spike could continue his examination, Ozzy spun around, hurling the knife toward the dragon. His life flashing before his eyes, Spike gasped just as the knife embedded itself into the wall an inch away from his face.

Shit, nice throw.

Danke, man.

Chrysalis flinched as she felt the knife pass just by her. However, she would not let the dragon know that she had been startled as well. Not releasing her magical grip, she leaned toward him. "If you play nice, we will not be forced to do anything rash." Ozzy stepped up behind her. "Like skin you alive and eat you for lunch." He finished with a grin. All Spike could do is quiver in fear, their threats keeping him from crying out.

Ozzy reached over to the wall, plucking Blood Nap and waving the knife in Spikes' face. "Now, answer some questions, keep quiet, and most importantly: don't even think about telling anyone about us." Chrysalis purposely licked her lips, eyeing the dragon in an act of starvation. Spike nodded, and watched the two with caution. Walking away, Chrysalis levitated Spike over to another upturned bag of luggage.

So, shake him down and make sure he stays quiet?

That's the plan.

As he was set down, Spike looked around at the now scavenged cabin of which he had been residing in. Upturned bags, looted carry-ons, as well as a few bags made of some other type of material. Looking down, he noticed that he was seated atop Rarity's expansive make-up case, a notion which he felt slightly depressed at. Looking back toward the pair, he found that Ozzy was now seated directly in front of him, with Chrysalis circling him the entire time.

Silence filled the cabin, only broken by the sound of Chrysalis' hooves as she walked. Not knowing where else to start, Spike spoke. "A-alright. What do you want to know?" More silence. Ozzy had not blinked once since he had sat down, something that gave Spike an uneasy feeling. "Before we get started, I want you to know: I know who you are, Spike. Don't think of screwing me over, because I know everything about you."

Spike was confused. He had just met them, how could they know who he was. Spike nervously chuckled. "I'm nopony important, uuuhhh... Who are you?" Without warning, Ozzy brought down his broad machete right next Spike, narrowly avoiding him. The blade had cut clean through the handle of the case. Spike jumped, and stared at the alien in shock.

"You can call me the Courier." He answered, pulling the machete back to rest on his lap.

"I am Chrysalis, dragon. You may have heard of me," She said, ceasing her vulture-circle and resting atop another myriad of discarded luggage. Spike sat there, a flurry of emotions playing in his mind. "A-alright. Anyway, Courier, I'm nopony important. I'm just an assistant to Twilight." Spike twiddled his thumbs, the pauses between their speaking unnerving him. "I see. Would you consider yourself a normal dragon, Spike?" Ozzy asked, a heavy tone of 'this is a trick question' lacing his voice.

Spike laughed nervously. "I-I mean, I'm as normal as the next dragon." Ozzy stuck the machete on the floor, twisting it to create a mark in the wood. "Are you? Do normal dragons have delusions of grandeur, as well as a superiority complex?" Ozzy said. At that, Spike began to sweat. He grabbed at the edges of the case which he sat upon, heat rising in his face.

Gotcha.

"W-why would you s-say that?" Spike stammered. Ozzy reached into his duster pocket, pulling out Spikes' journal. Upon seeing it, Spike felt his heart drop. He knew that they had read it. They knew everything. "I would say that this would cause you some problems if this got out. Wouldn't you agree?" Ozzy smirked.

Spike lunged forward in an attempt to snatch the journal away, but felt magic wrap around his tail, keeping him just out of reach of the journal. He panicked, crying out. "Please! You can't tell Twilight and the others! They'll never see me the same again!" As Spike unsuccessfully grasped for the journal, Ozzy set the book down next to him. "We won't. I just wanted you to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Do you?"

Spike let his shoulders droop, defeat prominent on his face. "Yeah. I'll play along." His voice carried with it a sense of dread, clear that he had been outdone by the duo. Chrysalis yanked his tail back so that he was sitting properly atop the luggage. "Very well, Spike. Now, I have questions. First, what is the punishment for rape in Equestria?" Ozzy's eyes never wavered, and Spike could not be more confused.

Very blunt.

"W-well, that doesn't happen very often. The last pony to do something like that was turned to stone, and that was before I was born." Spike looked at the Courier with fear in his eyes. "Did you... Do that?" Ozzy brought the machete down on Spikes' other side, making him jump once again. "I didn't. I was merely curious." Ozzy pulled the machete back. As he did so, Ozzy reached for a small black carry-on bag, and stuck it between the scales on Spikes' head. "Keep that there or I'm throwing you off."

Spike could not decide if he was confused, afraid, or both. The only thing he was certain of, though, is that he wished for this encounter to come to an end. Ozzy continued, "Now, how is the Equestrian government set up? What are the armed forces like? Are there any rising political tensions?"

This was a topic that Spike was interested in. "Well, there are two rulers, Princess Celestia and Luna. They control the sun and the moon, bringing them up everyday. The armed forces, I'm not so sure on. I know that seeing as how they are aligned with the Crystal Empire, that nearly doubled their soldier output. As for the political tensions, maybe. Seeing as how you read my journal, you'll know that there was a Minotaur ambassador in Canterlot recently."

As Spike spoke, Ozzy could tell that Spike may make for a potential ally. Weak and fearful as he may be, he blended in, and could come across valuable information that Ozzy could not. Spike went on, "I talked with Twilight about that, too. Something about an escaped slave looking to start a new life in Equestria. Princess Celestia doesn't seem to know about it, though."

Ozzy contemplated the news. Slavery could brew political tension. Political tension could mean allies, plus a paycheck. "Alright, Spike. Is there any major form of defense that Equestria possesses?" Ozzy spoke, confidence in the idea of swaying the dragon building inside of him. "Well, there are the Elements of Harmony, that's the big thing." Ozzy held up his hand. "What specifically are those? I've heard of them, but what do they do?" Spike looked between him and Chrysalis, remembering the stories that he had heard.

"Well, they're these six artifacts that an basically stop anything. They're basically conduits for what makes friendship great, I guess. Generosity, magic, kindness, laughter, honesty and loyalty. All Twilight and her friends have to do is use these and they can beat almost anything." As Spike paused, Chrysalis laughed under her breath. Remembering just how much of a nuisance they were, she was uncertain of their power. This confirmed how much it benefitted her to steal those in her invasion.

Ozzy laughed. "Great, so they have a literal ace in the hole. The beat-all. Anything else?" He asked after his short bout of mirthless laughter. "I mean, all of the Alicorns are really powerful and strong. The guard is just there for show, really. The real strength is with Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight. Although, those Night Guards are tough." Spike could feel himself open up more as he spoke. Whether it was due to the fact that the Courier may kill him, or because he was beginning to envision his own ideas was uncertain.

The gears in Ozzy's head were turning.

Should the worst come to pass, we'll have to get rid of those Elements. After that, just wipe out this royal bloodline.

Easier said than done, but I do enjoy some political drama.

Silence dominated the cabin, as it bounced and rocked along the tracks. Ozzy seemed to be deep in thought, and Spike looked to Chrysalis with an award glance. She responded by bearing her fangs, making the dragon return his gaze to the Courier. After a long moment, Ozzy spoke. "Alright. One last question, and then you can go. Would you be interested in potentially gathering more information for me?" Ozzy raised his left eyebrow, a smirk adorning his face.

Spike's confusion never stopped. The Courier first threatens him, then asks Spike to work with him? Was this alien mad? Whatever the case, that would mean that Spike would be aligning himself with a war criminal and a psychotic alien. The odds of this turning out well were slim to none. "Why should I?" A sliver of confidence entering him, Spike stared at Ozzy awaiting a reply.

Ozzy responded by slashing the carry-on case atop Spike's head straight in half. If Spike needed to go to the bathroom beforehand, he would have surely ruined Rarity's makeup case. Ozzy sat there, that same smirk still present. "Well, for one, I'm always looking to get paid. If you help, you get a cut. Secondly, I know that you working with me would upset your little group of friends, and you would enjoy that." Ozzy threw the machete on the ground, sticking it straight through the floorboard. "Apart from that, what would you want to happen should you join me?"

I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what the hell you're thinking AND I'M FUCKING IN HERE!

Spike sat there contemplating his options. Before he could say anything, however, Ozzy cut him off. "Also, you can turn down my offer. Just remember: if you tell anyone about any of this, I will tie you to a cactus and let the vultures peck away at you until you die." Ozzy finished with a grin. If there was any reason to NOT work with the Courier, that was it.

However... Spike felt something when he looked at him. Something that told Spike that this creature would alter Equestria in some way, for better or for worse. It was a foreboding feeling, but Spike was drawn to it nonetheless. Betraying his friends, though, that was what worried him. He didn't care for them as much anymore, but they were the closest friends that he had. Plus, his life may be put in danger. There was the possibility that Spike could not escape from this situation alive.

Ironically, that made Spike feel... Alive.

Adventure alongside an ousted Queen and a dangerous alien? Roaming Equestria in search of riches and plunder? How could Spike NOT take that? With trepidation in his voice, Spike responded. "You've got yourself a deal! So, where are we going? The Badlands? The Edge?" Upon hearing his enthusiasm, Ozzy laughed. "You, uh, don't listen very well, do you? You're an information gatherer. You stay put and relay important info to me, and I use it to my advantage." Hearing the Courier's words, Spike visibly deflated.

Sighing, Spike responded. "Alright, but another thing: you said that whatever I want to happen out of this, you'll make happen, right?" Ozzy nodded at the dragons' words. "Well, two things: first, at some point, I want to come along with you when you go do something. Second, I don't want any of my friends hurt... Maybe Rainbow Dash, but we'll see what happens." Ozzy leaned back into his makeshift chair, staring at the dragon.

"You got yourself a deal, Spike." He finished with a grin on his face.

Spike nodded, a sense of uncertainty and foreboding in his bones, but he relished the feeling. "Awesome! Now, what can I do first?" He asked, imagining all sorts of daring missions to wherever they were headed. "Well, first, we need to find an effective way to communicate without anyone knowing about it. Any ideas?" Spike's face lit up instantly. "Well, I have Dragon Fire which I can use to send letters to and from somewhere. The only thing is sending them back. Usually, it takes some spell from either Twilight or another Alicorn."

Upon hearing this, Chrysalis, who had zoned out some time ago, perked up. "If you are talking about what I think you are talking about, then I may be able to replicate the spell. If you send the letters to me, then I will be able to respond back." Upon hearing this, Ozzy nodded in satisfaction. "Alright, that'll work. I want to test this out though, Spike. Ready for a field test?"

After a half an hour of failed attempts, Chrysalis and Spike were able to successfully send a letter across the cabin to the other. Pleased with their success, Ozzy removed the slashed carry-on bag from Spike's head. "Alright, Spike. You said it doesn't matter how far away we are from each other, this will work?" Spike looked back to the Courier. "It should. It works from Ponyville to Canterlot, so I don't see why not. I'll also give you some of the parchment required for Dragon Fire to work." Spike handed a set of light-brown parchment over to the Courier, who slid them into his duster pocket.

"Hell yeah. Alright, we got our plan. Any questions?" After a brief silence, Ozzy nodded again. "Good. How far are we to Appleloosa?" Looking out a nearby window, Ozzy was surprised to see that the wintery tundra had transformed into a harsh desert environment. "We're nearly there, I think. Once we see the town, that's when Chrysalis and I make our ex-fill. Spike, you get back up front and pretend that this never happened." Spike half heartedly saluted, but not before his journal was tossed back to him. The Courier's grin was replaced by a stoic frown, his eyes portraying the sense of urgency.

"We're in this together, guys. Don't fuck it up." His voice was monotone, no emotion escaping from it. Spike saluted, walking to the entrance of the car. As he left, Chrysalis and Ozzy positioned themselves on the very edge of the train platform. Leaning over the railing, Ozzy could see an Old-Western styled town growing in the distance. As the wind rushed past his face, he reached back into his pocket to extract his sunglasses. Putting them on, he smirked.

Yeeeaaaah.

Shut up, you fuckin' nerd.

Frowning, Ozzy turned back to Chrysalis. "Ready?" He shouted over the rushing wind. She nodded, and they leapt from the train onto the hard ground.  Curling into a ball to lessen the impact, the duo came to a halt as the train sped away. Panting from the adrenaline rush, Chrysalis looked toward Ozzy. "That rock... Formation... Looks decent... Enough." Ozzy looked back to her. "It's as good a plan as any."

Before they could begin their walk, however, a strange bang was heard coming from the train tracks. Looking toward the town, the duo was stunned to see the engine car toppled over onto its side. Cheers and whoops could be heard from further down, and Ozzy was unsure of what was happening. "How popular is banditry here, anyway?" He asked, hoping for a decent answer. "Not very. A few roving gangs here and there, but nothing too serious. They would not be able to pull something like that off, though." Chrysalis responded, her words rushed and slightly worried.

This just got a whole lot more interesting. Go check it out.

As Ozzy began walking toward a nearby mountain range, Chrysalis fell into line next to him. "What do we do if our newest agent is set upon by bandits?" Looking up to the man, his smirk only grew as he continued walking. "Well, we go in after him. Saving him along with the pony that I just raped and her friends? I aim for nothing other than befuddlement."

Chrysalis only stared at the man. "I am still upset with you for that. It is bad enough that I am branded a war criminal, but the team of a war criminal and a rapist? This will not look good in the event that we are caught." Ozzy said nothing at this, opting for walking in silence. His thoughts, however, drifted to his newest assistant aboard the train.

He better be ok.

So, the dragon is on our side now.

It appears so.

Why do you think he joined up so readily?

No idea. All I do know is that he'll help.

He better. Also, love how you conned the kid into working with us. Think he'll be pissed if he finds out that you went back on your deal before you even made it?

Maybe, but as long as the pink one keeps quiet, I'm in good shape. If not, well... We'll see what happens.

Exodus? We'll have to elope. I don't feel like being turned into a stone statue.

First off, it's only Chrysalis and I, so it won't be an exodus. Secondly, I'm not marrying a goddamn bug.

Come oooooon. I know that you were catching glimpses of her ass.

Go to hell.