My Kingdom of Rubble

I suppose I should tell you where I come from, and how it came to be.

My world has been around for billions of years. There hasn't always been humans there, but we came along soon enough. Thousands of years passed by relatively peacefully, but that changed. From my scrounging of pre-war knowledge, and from some first hand accounts, I've managed to get a general idea of what happened.

There were three countries: the United States of America, China, and the Soviet Union. China and the Soviet Union were allies, and hated America. Each of these three countries had nuclear missiles, weapons capable of leveling entire cities in one blast. On one fateful day, October 23rd, 2077, each of these countries bathed the world in nuclear fire. Men and women were burning alive on the surface, effectively killing most of the worlds population.

Those that did survive did so in these underground bunkers called 'Vaults'. After the missiles stopped firing and people left the vaults, they started rebuilding society. From small towns to sprawling cities, people formed governments and laws, most of them being 'Don't cause trouble or we'll kill you.' Unfortunately with the pre-war society collapsing came lawless bandits and horrible monstrosities to roam the Wasteland. People killing other people just for sport or for scraps of food, going so far as to kill children.

Well, that's when I came into the picture. My parents came from some vault in California and decided to become farmers. I grew up with a gun in my hand, as well as a stupid fucking rake. They made me rake crops that were essentially dirt. THEY MADE ME RAKE FUCKING DIRT. Regardless, I was an only child, and I wanted to get away from the farm.

My wish came true, unfortunately, when I went for a walk one day. Something must have happened there, because when I got back, my parents had turned into... Monsters. I should explain that when a human encounters radiation (which is part of what makes nuclear weapons so dangerous) and are unlucky enough to not just shrivel up and die, they become 'ghouls'. Most ghouls are still able to reason, but if their minds are lost to the radiation, they turn into feral ghouls. These ones just attack anything they see, except other ghouls.

Well, imagine my surprise when I come home from a walk to find that my parents had turned into feral ghouls. After they chased me up into the loft of our barn, I was out of options. So... I picked up a gun...

Aaawww, my favorite part of the story.

And I shot them. Both of them. Repeatedly. In the face.

After that, I ran. I did't know where I was going, and I didn't care. That was until I ended up in the Hub, a huge city that seemed to be unscathed after the Great War. I was nine years old, and I picked up a job with a caravan. A nine year old caravanner, barely making any money apart from what he picked out of other peoples pockets.

After I had done that for a few years, these people called the New California Republic hired me to take a package to this place called the Divide. This place showed potential, a real chance for America to rise from its fiery grave. That was... Until I showed up. Dormant nuclear missiles had been residing in the Divide, and I just happened to come along (unknowingly) with the launch codes to activate them. So, I get pretty close to this place, when everything just falls apart. The missiles start going off, people are dying left and right, and I got the hell out of there while I could. Two people survived the Divide: Me, and Ulysses, but we'll get to him later.

After that whole debacle, I wandered the country for a while. That was right about when the NCR and Caesar's Legion started tearing at each other, I think. By the way, Caesar's Legion is this army made up of conquered tribes that this one man, Caesar, brought under his rule. Well, he and the NCR started going at it, all while lonely little me was wandering what was left after America. Not having a lot of people to talk to, I started hearing... Someone else.

Oh yeah, here I come!

This other person helped me out in quite a lot of situations, but is still an asshole.

Well, at least I'm honest about being an asshole.

More time passed, and so did my twenty fifth birthday. At that point, I was a little tired of wandering, and wanted to settle down. I went back to the Hub and was offered a job. The company that hired me was named the Mojave Express, and the job seemed simple enough: head to the city of New Vegas with a package, drop it off, and get payed. Maybe play the slots in Vegas while I was there.

Well, I'm a few miles away from the city when I get ambushed by this pack of assholes, all led by this weasel of a man named Benny. After telling me that 'The game was rigged from the start', he shoots me in the head and buried me in a shallow grave. He leaves, and a Securitron, (a robot produced by this company before the war) digs me out and takes me to this doctor in the town nearby. This doctor, Doc Mitchell, pulls the bullet out and saves my life.

So, a few days pass and I'm up on my feet again. I get my bearings, get my Pip-Boy, and start doing all of this menial shit for everyone around town. Then these guys show up, the Powder Gangers. They start throwing threats around, saying that they're going to kill everyone, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I managed to talk them out of it, while still managing to keep this town, Goodsprings, happy with me. I start working with them, I start making connections amongst people. I was making a name for myself.

After I start aligning myself, getting buddy buddy with all of these groups in the Mojave, I manage to track Benny to the Strip. There, I met Mr. House, the man who single-handedly financed and rebuilt the Strip. He tells me about what that package was, and how it would benefit me and everyone else. It was called the Platinum Chip, and it would basically upgrade the army of Securitrons that House used to defend the Strip. Well, Benny apparently wanted to use the chip and turn all of the Securitrons on House, seizing New Vegas for himself.

Benny made two crucial errors: he didn't make sure that I was dead, and worse, he fucked with the wrong man. I cornered him in his little penthouse, only to be attacked by his goddamn bodyguards. He escapes, only to be captured by those same guys from before, Caesar's Legion. Well, while I'm investigating his penthouse after I killed his guys, I came across the man with the plan, Yes Man. He proposed that I use the chip to activate the Securitron army underneath this hill called Fortification Hill, and that I should kill House.

After I put a bullet between Houses' eyes, Yes Man plugged himself into the system and took over. He controlled the Securitrons, and I happened to rewire his programming a little after I found out that he could potentially turn into a harsh dictator that would kill me at the first chance he got. I obviously couldn't let that happen. Then I get a message that Caesar himself, the leader of that giant army I mentioned, wanted to speak with me. So I head to his fort, (which just happened to be Fortification Hill) and we chatted.

I had Benny crucified, and I got the chip back. I then used that chip to activate the Securitron army under the fort, and had that under my belt. Then I decided that I would win Hoover Dam (this huge power supply for the city of New Vegas) for Caesar, but under one condition: he had to turn his army around. No more mass murders, no more innocent deaths, a complete one eighty in reputation. Reluctantly agreeing, I set about doing that.

So, my situation so far: I have a majority of the tribes and major power players in the Wasteland in my pocket, plus siding with Caesar and having his army side with me. Add to that that I had taken a trip into Utah and recruited these two other tribes, along with this absolute badass, Joshua Graham. His other friend, Daniel, didn't agree with what I was doing, and tried to stop me. Let me tell you: getting in my way is horrible for your health.

After a few more excursions in some of the lesser known areas of the wastes, including an abandoned casino, a pre-war science facility that could greatly help people in the Wasteland, and returning to the Divide. That was by far the hardest journey of my life. I must have killed off half of the population that was left in the Divide. Finally, I come across the other man that had survived the destruction of the Divide, Ulysses. A man who spoke in riddles and metaphors, but had more wisdom than most of the wasteland combined.

Ulysses was under order by Caesar to use the remaining missiles at the Divide to bomb the Long 15, a military outpost used by the NCR to supply and reinforce their position in the Mojave. I saw the way the NCR was running things, and though I agreed with some of their policies, I just thought that they had to go. I answered for my crimes with Ulysses, letting him launch the nukes. Looking back, the world didn't need more nuclear fire, but it would help me out greatly in the long run.

I talked with Ulysses. He told me that he felt a sense of dread wherever I went, and that I would be the cause for more pain and suffering for more innocent people. That was when he compared me to that ancient king. This king, who challenged those far greater than he was, who ruled his kingdom with an iron fist, was remembered throughout the centuries.

Ozymandias. I will never forget that name as long as I live.

I return to the Mojave, and am given a special order by Caesar: kill the president of the NCR who would be making a guest appearance at Hoover Dam. Simple, right? Fucking no, far from it. I get there and there is security out the wazoo. Every mountain range, building, corner and door is guarded by the NCR elite. I, on the other hand, decided to take a more... Explosive approach. Sneaking past security, I managed to rig the stage he would talk on with C4 (a very powerful explosive). Then the waiting began.

His vertibird (this pre-war plane-ish type aircraft) flew in, and he comes strolling down this walkway like the cock of the walk. Proud and superior, not even realizing that he is moments away from his own demise. He gets up on the stage and starts talking, and talking, and talking, and holy shit I thought he would never shut up. After a few minutes, I hit the button to trigger the explosives.

Then... Nothing. No explosion, no random limbs, nothing. That's when I felt Goat come out to play.

Oh God, I love this part.

I blacked out. I didn't know what was happening, and I don't think I want to. I came to about maybe an hour later, and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE there was dead. Throats slashed, heads off, limbs missing. It got the job done, to say the least.

After that, the big moment comes: the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. Absolute chaos, let me tell you. Gunfire, bombs, slashing, screaming, crying. I'm doing my thing, killing as many NCR bastards as I could, essentially handing the Dam to Caesar on a silver plate. I killed the NCR general  and tossed him over the Dam, and man did it feel good to hear him screaming all the way down.

So Caesar moves on New Vegas, but is met with quite a different reception: where he should have met cowering citizens, he met the fiercest electronic army that money could buy. During the Second Battle, I had sent power to the bunker underneath Fortification Hill, waking up the Securitron army and unlocking their advanced load out. Needless to say that Caesar is stunned.

I escort him into the Lucky 38 (that's the Casino that I claimed from Mr. House), and I made him a deal: hand over the reigns of the Legion to me, or I would wipe them out. He, of course, was one hundred percent against it, claiming that I was a fool and would be crushed under his might. I proved him wrong though.

I told him how I had aligned myself with not only the Brotherhood of Steel (this knightly order of technology-hoarders), the local Super Mutants (giant monsters who had been affected by this specific type of virus called FEV), the Powder Gangers, Boomers, Great Khans, Sorrows and Dead Horses, Joshua Graham, the Securitrons, etcetera etcetera. Caesar and his eighty six conquered tribes wouldn't stand a chance, and I made sure of that.

He knew he was beat. I could see it in his eyes, that passion slowly fading away. He calls in his attack dog, Legate Lanius, and gives him the news: The Courier, Ozzy, me, is now in command of the Legion, and Lanius must swear his fealty to me by order of Caesar himself. Lanius, despite his prior convictions, agrees. Now add one of the most brutal warriors in the Wasteland to my repertoire of resources, and you have yourself a pretty decent army.

Lanius leaves the room, and Caesar does something really stupid: he pulls a knife on me and attempts to kill me. Remember when I said that opposing me is never good for ones health? I lost it, and decided to make an example of this son of a bitch. I kill him, cut him open, climb out to one of the spires of the Lucky 38, and hang him by his lower intestine on the end of it. Speaking of which, the human lower intestine is twenty one feet in length, more than enough to hang the bastard with.

After that, I formed the First Committee of New Vegas. I started trading with other cities, other towns, increasing my revenue. I wanted to reopen the Lucky 38, start hopefully repairing the city and getting some goddamn clean water into the pipes. Not to mention creating a decent sewer network. After a while, everything just fell into place. I purged the Mojave of most of the NCR, and started my campaign to reclaim California from those damn bureaucrats.

You going to tell her about the message you received? From Cass?

I should also mention that I wasn't alone for some of my adventures in the desert. I made a few friends here and there, but they didn't agree with my style of making the Mojave safer. They left me, and I don't blame them for the most part. Then I had my runner, Vulpes, tell me about this location in an area to the north of us, I investigate it, and unfortunately activate something that should have stayed silent for a little while longer.

Then I ended up here. Face down in the middle of a blizzard. That's me for the most part, Chrysalis.

Hey, asshole. You still didn't tell her about the message.

I never will.