My Kingdom of Rubble

by The Cook

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Tragedy, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Dark
Length: 42313

I took my kingdom from those who sought to own and destroy it. Now, under m-OUR control, it is more prosperous than ever.

I saw what was happening to this place. I saw how it was decaying around me. While everyone else was focused on Hoover Dam, I was making plays of my own. I had to abandon my moral code, align myself with a mad ruler, and betray him. I took New Vegas from the robotic hands of Mr. House. I pushed out the NCR from the Mojave. I hung Caesar from the Lucky 38's roof for the whole city to see.

My name is Ozzy, and I'm the goddamn king.

Hello, everyone. This is my first story, and I know it may not be the best, but I thought it was worth the time it took to write it. Fallout: New Vegas/MLP crossover. A big thank you to Margenal over on DeviantArt for letting me use his piece for my cover art. Give his page a look, he does a lot of Fallout pieces which I absolutely love the style of. All rights go to Bethesda and Hasbro. I did make some creative changes to a little bit of the Fallout: New Vegas storyline. Also, I will be adding trigger warnings as the story progresses. Let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for reading!

WARNING: Rape.

- The Cook

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-04 03:30:02 UTC

Lonely Road

The Committee that held the city of New Vegas together consisted of Marjorie and Mortimer from the White Glove Society, Swank and Tommy Torini from the Chairmen, Cachino from the Omertas, Yes Man, who was appointed the bookkeeper and accountant for New Vegas, The King and Pacer from the Kings, Francine and James Garret from the Atomic Wrangler, Julia Farkas and Ignacio Rivas from the Follower's of the Apocalypse, and Elder McNamara and Paladin Hardin from the Brotherhood of Steel. Though some of the members may still hold hostile views of other ambassadors, this Committee runs like a well-oiled machine, ensuring that the city of New Vegas and the surrounding areas of the Mojave Wasteland are relatively safe and prosperous.

After the Second Battle of Hoover Dam, Ozzy began negotiating with these factions in the hopes that they may band together to not only sustain the Mojave, but to bring order to the hellish wasteland. Remembering all of the good deeds that Ozzy had done for them, but also recalling that Ozzy joined the ranks of the Legion, they at first denied his request. It was at this point that Ozzy revealed his grand plan to these individuals, who were swept away by how creative and devious this strategy was. Although they were weary of the Courier and his plans, they agreed. Thus, the First Committee of New Vegas had been formed.

That was six years ago. In that time, the Committee fulfilled its purpose ten fold. Trade routes had been opened with neighboring areas, nests of the deadliest creatures that the Wasteland had to offer had been cleared out and secured, and relations within the committee, though tense at times, had improved immensely. As successful as the Committee had become, they all recognized that Ozzy was the leader of this coalition, and most of what they had accomplished would not be possible without him.

Needless to say that when Ozzy broke the news that he would be leaving them for a time, their reaction was less than pleasant.

What started as the usual business reports and troop movement soon descended into frantic yelling and screaming at Ozzy, from most of the members from the Committee. Questions varied from 'Are you out of your mind?' to 'What the hell are we going to do? This place will burn without you here!' All of these questions were answered in a calm fashion, convincing the members that what Ozzy would hopefully find at this Enclave base would do great things for the Mojave, such as strengthening its defensive capabilities to selling the objects for a hefty sum of caps.

Despite having mixed emotions concerning the Courier's absence, the Committee assured Ozzy that the city and its surrounding area was in good hands. They adjourned in the high hopes that New Vegas would sustain itself in the Courier's absence, and Ozzy felt a little better knowing that New Vegas wouldn't fall into complete anarchy whilst he was away.

Equipped with his battle gear that consisted of a unique semi automatic rifle called 'This Machine' strapped to the left side of his back, a broad machete strapped to the right side of his back, an intricately detailed revolver named Mysterious Magnum lying in his right hip holster, an intimidating blue bowie knife given the name Blood Nap on his left holster, a backup 12.7 MM pistol strapped to his right leg, numerous hand grenades across his torso, a nice little straight razor christened 'Figaro' hidden inside his left boot for close and personal affairs, and all the ammunition he could ask for. His outfit consisted of a set of elite riot gear that Ozzy pried off a corpse in The Divide, but with the long trench coat replaced with the Courier's Duster, the proud emblem of the Legion bull emblazoned on the back. On his head, Ozzy wore the First Recon beret that a certain friend of his gave to him as a gift, and a pair aviator glasses nestled on his face to protect his eyes from the harsh Mojave sun.

Now eight days into his journey to Oregon, with the mild sun directly overhead, the Courier reflected on that day in the meeting room. Had he made the right decision in leaving his city in the hands of his competent Committee, but whose members could possibly overthrow his government and plunge New Vegas into a downward spiral of death and destruction? He did not know the answer to that, but if Ozzy had to put his money on anything, it was that the government he established could sustain itself for a little while without his presence.

Plus, I've got the Securitrons programmed to unload on anyone who might challenge my rule. It'll be ok.

Bullshit. You won't have a city to come back to.

Ozzy felt that same sharp pain in his head whenever He spoke. Whenever Ozzy thought that the situation was hopeless, whenever he knew that he was outgunned or outnumbered and had no possible way of winning, he always had one ace up his sleeve. Something that nobody, not Caesar, not President Kimball, not half of the Legion, NCR, Nightkin, not anyone, would count on.

Goat. His other half.

Where Ozzy was a rational thinker, a clever tactician, and a generally calm person, Goat was the polar opposite of that. Whereas Ozzy preferred to dispatch his enemies from a reasonable distance using the signature This Machine and Mysterious Magnum, Goat preferred to dismember his enemies while watching the light drain from their eyes using the broad machete and Blood Nap. When Ozzy left the corpses of his foes to rot and decay in the Wasteland, Goat preferred to send messages to would-be thugs, raiders, and general undesirables by disemboweling, decapitating, and disfiguring the bodies of his fresh kills, leaving their bodies on display in horrific displays of cruelty and inhumanness.

When Ozzy feels that he is not going to make it, Goat comes out to play in a blur of blood and gore, stunning all those who would dare stand against him. After Goat is finished creating modern art with the corpses of his foes, Ozzy comes back in a dazed stupor, praying that Goat did not take the life of someone who did not bring it upon themselves. For a majority of the time, Ozzy is the one in control, but rarely, very rarely, Goat will make an appearance in regular conversation. After profusely apologizing to all of those involved, Ozzy feels humiliated at losing control like that, a situation which has arisen more than is warranted.

Pushing those memories back, Ozzy continued to casually stroll across the battered road which he now found himself upon. Getting lost in ones thoughts out in the middle of the Wasteland is a dangerous activity, one that Ozzy chastised himself for. He lost track of how long he had been walking that day, after making camp at a small outpost of friendly caravaneers the night before. Pulling up his Pip-Boy and scrolling over to the map, he saw that he had plenty of more miles to traverse before reaching the city limits of his objective.

Boardman. The name of the city struck Ozzy as somewhat odd, but nothing more unusual than most of the town names in the Old World. Researching through pre-war books, Ozzy discovered that the military station, dubbed Umatilla Army Depot, had once been an Enclave outpost whose goal was to preserve and create new forms of weaponry for warfare. What those types of weapons were remained a mystery to only the personnel of the outpost, and a few more prominent members of the Enclave. Although he questioned the members of the Remnants as to what secrets Umatilla contained, none of them had ever traveled that far north. Disappointed by this news, the Courier was grateful for what little information he came by.

That was when Ozzy realized he had let himself drift into his own thoughts again. Lightly smacking the side of his head, criticizing himself for being so careless, he saw movement from behind a nearby demolished van. Without hesitation, Ozzy pulled the Mysterious Magnum from his hip, aiming it towards the wreckage. Standing stock still, Ozzy quickly assessed what could have made that movement. It wasn't attacking him, but it seemed as though it was either waiting for him to leave, or preparing to engage the Courier.

The sound of a bullet colliding with the door of a parked car sent Ozzy flying behind cover. It seemed as though he had walked into an ambush without even giving it a second thought. Once again mentally scolding himself for his own idiocy, he leaned out from behind the burnt car he was taking cover behind. He quickly counted five hostiles about thirty feet away from his position, one wielding a rifle while the others either had rusty machetes or tire irons, and wearing clothing that looked like it had been pulled out of a dumpster. Realizing that this was just a rag-tag group of wasteland raiders, Ozzy quickly formulated a plan.

Ozzy sprinted towards the edge of the highway, while laying down suppressive fire towards the sniper. Most rounds collided with either concrete or vehicle doors, but one lucky round managed to blow off one of the raiders fingers, forcing the man to drop his weapon and hold his hand in agony. After the Courier returned fire, the sniper peeked over the car he had taken cover behind, noticing a distinct lack of a man down the road.

Realizing that his next meal had eluded him, for the time being, the sniper stood up along with the rest of the raiders and shouted at the rest of his band. "Alright, this fucker still has to be nearby. If you find him, shout out. If you don't I'll kill you and eat you myself. Now G-!" Before the man could finish his order, a bullet had impacted his skull, sending bits of brain matter out of his head and his body falling limply onto the ground. The raiders around him began to panic, realizing that they may be in over their heads.

"Fuck this, I'm going home!" One turned around and began running towards the open Oregon wilderness, only to be stopped by two rounds impacting his back, sending the man sprawling on the ground. Seeing this, the other raiders threw down their weapons and raised their hands above their heads, praying that their quarry would have mercy on them. Seeing this from his position, Ozzy slung his rifle on his back, and began walking towards the group, while quickly drawing Blood Nap and the Mysterious Magnum from their holsters.

The raider whose finger was now absent from his hand was the first to see the Courier marching towards them, an absence of all emotion present on his face. As he drew closer, the raider cried out. "Listen, man, we were just hungry! We didn't mean for it to go do-" the man was silenced as his throat was sliced open by the bowie knife, blood gushing forth from his neck. As he fell to his knees, he put his hands to his throat in a futile attempt to save his own life. Sadly, it was not enough, and his life ended as images of the Courier flashed before his eyes.

Three down, two to go. Ozzy said to himself while deciding wether or not to waste precious ammunition on these degenerates. As he neared the last two, he stopped just shy of them, pointing the magnum at one and the knife at the other. He scrutinized them, their faces displaying a look of dread that showed how weak-willed they were. Upon seeing this, Ozzy put away his weapons, and adorned his classic salesmen grin.

"Gentleman! You needn't worry, for I am your friend!" He said, which caused the two raiders to trade a nervous look. "Now, don't mistake my intentions: I yearn to kill you both in the most brutal ways I can imagine. As luck would have it, though, you two can help me spread the peace and prosperity that my home town knows and is grateful for. Do you want to know how?" One of the bandits spoke up upon hearing this. "H-how would we do that?" His wavering words indicating that he was terrified of what the man could be intending. "Oh, don't worry." An unsettling grin adorned his face. "You'll both love what I have planned for you."

Ozzy stared at the exhibition he had created for the two bandits. Normally, Goat would be the one that would perform grotesque acts upon his enemies, but Ozzy felt the need to make an example of these two. Specifically, of how they needed to learn that the Courier was one person you were to never oppose.

The two bandits hung from a tree on the side of the road, their hands securely tied over their heads, ensuring that they would not be escaping anytime soon. Their weapons had been confiscated, and their clothing had been done away with, exposing their naked bodies to the harsh conditions. The Courier did not want their suffering to end, however, so he coated their bodies in the freshly extracted meat of their allies. Ozzy hoped that this would attract nearby predators in the area, and their deaths would be chalked up to just more raider antics.

Of course, Ozzy did not want them to die without an audience. With that in mind, he propped up the bodies of their fallen comrades in plain sight of the two, forever reminding them that their friends are, in fact, deceased. Plus, Ozzy felt that they needed to feel the others skin caressing theirs, so with the leftover rope that he found at their encampment, he tied their feet together so they could die being best friends forever.

Upon finishing his inspection of his work, Ozzy spoke to the duo. "Gentlemen, this is where we part ways. You better pray that a passing caravan finds you before a Yao-guai does, or you won't live to see tomorrow." He walked over to the corpse of the now deceased rifle-wielding bandit, adjusting his head so that his lifeless eyes stared directly at the dangling pair. "With that, I bid you adieu." He began walking down the road, until one of the raiders spoke up. "Wait! You can't leave us like this. Please!" The fear in his voice was prevalent, to say the least. Ozzy stopped, willing to hear them out. The other raider chimed in, anger lacing his words,  "Fuck that! If I ever get my hands on you again, I swear to God that I will tear you limb from limb!"

Threat after threat the raider spat at the Courier, and each threat diminished their chances of being rescued. Ozzy turned to the pair, his face a deadpan glare showing just how little he cared for the two men and their predicament. "See, I was just thinking about how this may be too cruel, even for me, but your threats just hardened my resolve." He turned and began walking back down the highway. "Adios, gentlemen." As the noises of pleading and death threats faded into the distance, Ozzy heard a new sound add to the cacophony of sound. A growl, a roar, followed by the screams of the men and the sound of their flesh being torn apart and devoured, made Ozzy feel his lips curl into a wicked smile.

That's one less band of raiders to terrorize caravans. He thought, the screams and growls no longer within hearing range.

I'm overjoyed that you're returning to your baser, crueler instincts.

This brought a frown to Ozzy's face, not wanting to be reminded of this flaw in his character. I know, but no one saw me do it. It may as well have never happened. Hopping over yet another destroyed car, Ozzy continued his mental argument with his worse half.

Oh, perfect. Hide behind peace treaties and false promises, then stab your enemy in the back! You're worse than Lanius, I swear.

That brought a grimace to Ozzy's face. I am nothing like that brute, you understand? I actually try to negotiate with my enemies first. He just kills everything he sees! Plus, I'm ten times smarter than that dipshit could ever hope to be. Spotting a destroyed sign overhead, Ozzy stopped to read it.

BOARDMAN: 100 MILES

PENDELTON: 70 MILES

Sighing, Ozzy continued along the road, hoping to find some decent shelter for the night.

Yeah, you keep thinking that. See how well that works out.

With that final sentiment, Ozzy continued on, just as the sky overhead began to darken.

Umatilla

Rain. Not what Ozzy was used to in the desert, but it was a nice change of pace from the normal weather.

He reached the city about an hour before midnight, much to his dismay. Surviving in the Wasteland taught him one valuable thing: nighttime is when all the predators come out to play. Of course, Ozzy was more than capable of handling most of what nature had to offer, but that didn't stop him from feeling anxious. As an added bonus, anything he would kill would be cooked and eaten, seeing as how the Courier had not nourished himself since his little scuffle with the bandits, he was famished.

The city of Boardman may as well have been any other city before the war, what with its usual name, the varied storefronts and government buildings,  the out of the way suburban neighborhoods with the white picket fences. After the war, however, the Enclave had made this city a more permanent outpost, utilizing the Army depot to the east for their operations, and the city as housing for soldiers and scientists alike. That all changed when the Enclave was forced eastward, towards DC. Most of the personnel were evacuated, but a majority of their technology was left behind. Why the NCR or Brotherhood did not swoop in and scavenge as much as they could was lost on Ozzy, but he was more than happy to put it to use himself.

With these thoughts, Ozzy poked the fireplace in the hopes that it would stay ablaze. He had taken refuge in a small townhouse, not too far from the main city. Ozzy never did enjoy his nighttime missions, as he was more preferable to the sun illuminating his targets for him. That is, Ozzy was not scared of the dark, he just preferred the daytime. After entering the house, Ozzy used old paper, destroyed books, and anything else to illuminate the room with a warm glow.

Taking another bite out of the cooked crow that happened to make its nest in that house, Ozzy stared into the fireplace with a blank expression. After he had boarded up, locked, and placed tripwire alarms on all of the doors and windows, an old way of signaling danger utilizing old cookware, Ozzy ruminated on his journey thus far. Sure, the punishment he brought upon the raiders may have been too cruel, but it would work both ways for him. Not only would passing caravans be that much safer, but any other raiders in the area would receive the message loud and clear.

Having nothing else to occupy his time, Ozzy began inspecting his weapons. Blood Nap was becoming a little dull around the edge, and the blade seemed to be coming loose from the bolster. Taking the whetstone out of his rear pocket, he grabbed hold of the blade in his left hand with the whetstone in his right, and began dragging the blade across the stone. The sound of metal being sharpened was somehow therapeutic to Ozzy, but remained focused on his current task.

After sharpening the blade and applying some extra-strenght glue to the bolster, Ozzy inspected the rest of his gear to find that everything else was in excellent working condition, all while taking bites of his cooked crow. After he extinguished the fire, he found a dirty, stained couch to sleep on. Better than the floor. As he sat down on the couch, he removed his sunglasses and beret and set them on the coffee table directly in front of the couch. Laying down, with the Mysterious Magnum in his left hand and his finger inches away from the trigger, Ozzy drifted off to a fitful slumber.

Gunfire. Blood. Broken bones. Screaming.

"We trusted you!"

"How the hell could you side with them, you monster!?"

Bullet bounces off of a nearby rock. They won't understand. Radiation rising.

They're past negotiating! Let ME handle this!

"You're going to die like the snake you are!"

They won't see the big picture. Shotgun fires, misses. Super Sledge swings, misses, cracks the rock.

"You are not getting away!"

"We trusted you!"

I'm going to gut them! Let me off the fucking chain so I can dismember the bastards!

Running. Bullet hits the ground inches away. Trip. Super Sledge comes down on hand. Fingers broken.

"You were against us this whole time!"

"I hate you!"

Radiation still rising.

Bullets.

Broken promises.

Anger.

Death.

Please, no more.

MY TIME TO SHINE!

Ozzy's eyes shot open. He didn't move, but that dream always shook him more than anything. That was the only dream that ever brought Ozzy close to crying. Sighing, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, picking away at the crust that formed during the night. The sun's rays were entering the home through the boarded up windows, barely illuminating the room. Ozzy pulled up his Pip-Boy to check the time, showing that it was 7:36 AM. Standing up, he adorned his sunglasses and beret, and walked over to the fireplace to see the ashes of last nights fire. Seeing that the fire was completely out, and realizing that it wouldn't matter if the house burned down or not but still wanted to check, Ozzy meandered over to the front door of the home.

Peeking out the eye-hole and seeing that he was completely alone, Ozzy began pulling off the boards which he had used to barricade the door. Three planks and twelve rusty nails later, Ozzy opened the door and stepped outside, taking in a deep breath of morning air. Ozzy began picturing himself in 1950's America, stepping outside into the crisp air as the mailman passed by, saying something along the lines of, "Hi-diddly-hi, neighbor!" At least, that's how Ozzy thought everyone talked before the Great War.

Securing his gear while taking a mental tally of all of his supplies, Ozzy stepped down from the front porch and began walking east. Using his Pip-Boy map, Ozzy hoped to reach the base in a somewhat reasonable time. He wanted to return to New Vegas by the beginning of next week, and he felt displeased with himself at his poor time management. Staving those thoughts off, Ozzy continued walking, paying closer attention to his surroundings.

The city, for the most part, was completely abandoned. Ozzy had yet to find another living soul ever since he set foot in Oregon. The only living beings he came across were giant, mutated rats, and those were easily disposed of after they attempted to attack him. Coming across an Enclave checkpoint, Ozzy stopped and began searching through some of their leftover crates.

A wall made of a strange alloy with walkways leading up to it, three skeletons wearing Enclave power armor, one skeleton wearing an officers outfit, and about five crates are what composed this checkpoint. The power armor, as much as they would be worth, would only be a detriment to Ozzy for what he would consider a low-payout. The weapons they carried were the standard issue laser rifles which a majority of these types of factions used, much like the Brotherhood.

As Ozzy approached the corpse of the officer, he noticed that he was clutching what appeared to be an holotape close to his chest. Bending down and prying the charred bones away, Ozzy held the tape up and scanned it with his Pip-Boy. A new note was added, with the title reading 'This is unreal'. Curious, Ozzy played the tape. In a rushed voice, the man on the tape was desperately attempting to relay information, but was apparently extremely astounded by his own genius.

"Hello, my name is George Estrada, and I am the head scientist at the Umatilla Army Depot in Boardman, Oregon. I work for the Enclave, and this is by far my greatest achievement! This needs to be recorded so that this day may forever be cemented in the history books! I'll be a hero to all of mankind! I'll-" His voice was cut off by a second man.

"Hey, uuuhhh, Georgie, you wanna tell the thing what you actually did?" Estrada continued. "Ah, yes! For the first time in recorded history, my team and I have successfully constructed a-" The tape ended in static. Ozzy stood there, processing this new information. Well, he was really excited about something, that's pretty evident.

This just got more interesting. Get a move on, man! Time's wasting!

With that thought, Ozzy hopped over the corpse of the fallen officer, and continued on his way.

The sign was straight to the point. In big, bold letters reading "UMATILLA ARMY DEPOT", Ozzy felt a sense of foreboding encroaching on him. Walking past the sign to encounter a rusted fence, he kicked it down and hopped over the destroyed barrier to now find himself with a wide expanse of land, dotted with bunkers and destroyed warehouses. Recalling the report that this very specific bunker he was looking for was hidden underneath the warehouse labeled EG-14, Ozzy pulled out his spare binoculars and began scanning the area.

Opened missile hatches, destroyed vehicles, burnt corpses, and rodents of all sizes roamed the area. Most of the buildings had the Enclave symbol emblazoned on it, but there was one that did not. Focusing in on one specific building, Ozzy noticed that there were no identifying marks anywhere to be seen on it like the others. There was only one serial number, atop the archway door: EG-14. Nice. Putting his binoculars away, Ozzy unholstered the Mysterious Magnum in case any wayward rat had a death wish.

The building itself appeared the same as the rest on the inside. Crates of MRE's were stored along the back wall, offices and cubicles encompassed the administrative floor, the main floor had discarded reports and letters, the break room even had cups of coffee still sitting on the table. All of this showed that whoever was inhabiting this building at the time had to leave in a hurry. What interested Ozzy the most, though, was a peculiar electronics box that controlled the power to the warehouse. All of the handles and buttons were labeled, except for one. A faded green button, with the paint chipping off, was separated from the rest of the control switch. Gut instinct led Ozzy to push that button, praying that it wouldn't trigger anything dangerous.

Gears whirred in different locations of the warehouse, and a red light began flashing inside of the main area. A panel, built into the rest of the floor, slid open to reveal a set of stairs leading to God only knows. Incandescent lights lit up the dark stairwell, as Ozzy peered down into it. Alright. Let's do this. Ozzy circled around to the beginning of the stairs, and began his descent. That familiar feeling of dread returned to him, but he pushed it back. He came too far to turn back now.

Deeper and deeper the stairwell went. Ozzy calculated that he must have been climbing stairs for the past five minutes, staving the feeling of claustrophobia from entering his mind. As he delved deeper into the Earth, the radiation in the stairway began to climb. This concerned the Courier, but he pressed on.

Upon reaching the bottom, Ozzy came across an open door, no doubt left open by the scout who had been here previously. That, or someone else had searched this establishment and picked everything clean. If that was the case, the Courier would have to kill someone. Stepping past the door, Ozzy found himself in a dark, circular room. Making his way over to a nearby light switch, he flicked the switch on, the gentle hum of lights brightening the room. Wires and control panels of all sorts lined the walls, all feeding into a giant... Machine. The scout was right, Ozzy had never seen something like this.

The machine, incredibly technologically advanced in its nature, was oval shaped, and was about ten feet tall by four feet wide. Transparent coils ran along the majority of it, as did a number of circuits. Some of the machine was coated in a stainless-steel metal, more than likely protecting the more vulnerable parts. Three spires, also coated in the same material and standing at seven feet, appeared as though they were aimed directly at the machine. Just beneath their points, translucent orbs appeared to be centered in hollowed out portions of the spires.

Decaying corpses, some with their flesh still somewhat intact, littered the ground. Most of these wore white lab coats, while two or three were wearing power armor. Just at the base of the machine, a man lay clutching another holotape to his chest.

Walking over to the man, whose face was relatively intact, Ozzy examined the man for a moment. His hair was jet black, with a trimmed mustache that showed it had been falling off. His skin was darker, indicating that he was of Hispanic descent. His eyes were glazed over, showing that he was fully aware of his own demise. On his lab coat, there was a name tag with the Enclave logo in the bottom right-hand corner. It read:

Head Scientist

       George Estrada

"Well, Mr. Estrada, we meet at last." Ozzy spoke to the corpse. Gently moving Estrada's arms away from the holodisk, Ozzy listened to the note. It was Estrada's voice, but unlike the last log, George condition had worsened significantly. The sound of multiple individuals coughing and vomiting can be heard. "This is Head Scientist George Estr- *cough, cough* Estrada. I was stationed at Umatilla Army Depot in Boardman, Oregon. I worked for those Enclave bastards, who left us down here to die. *cough, cough, panting* This device, it's an inter-dimensional portal. A marvel that I created, but did not perfect... Apparently, when used, the portal emits a huge burst of radiation, effectively poisoning everyone within the general vicinity." A THUD is heard in the background. "There goes another one of my colleagues... Damnit. We tested it out, then they locked us down here! *cough* They radioed down that our sacrifice would not be in vain. Fuckin' assholes... I wish I could make it out of here to kill every one of them!"

At this point, George's voice had grown hoarse from the poisoning. "As one last 'Fuck you' to the Enclave, I have the portal prepped and ready for another go. We have no idea where it leads, but we wanted to find out so badly. This next test, though, will emit such a high level of radiation that anything within a miles radius will be poisoned. *cough, wheeze*" Ozzy stood up and turned his head to the control panel. "If anyone finds this, and you're dumb enough to kill yourself like that, all you have to do... Is press the big red button on the dashboard... That's it." Estrada sounds close to his death in the log, taking his last few breaths. "*wheeze* Good luck, and God Bless these... United... States." The log ends.

Ozzy stood there, a flurry of thoughts flooding his head.

This is amazing! A goddamn portal to another universe! I have to secure this place for future endeavors.

As he began walking out of the room, Ozzy felt himself stop.

I don't think so, you fuck.

He felt himself turn around, confused by his own actions.

What're you doing? This place could be immensely advantageous to us!

Foot by foot, step by step, Ozzy was forced towards the giant dashboard, the tantalizing red button square in the center.

I'm going to do to us what should've happened at Hoover Dam.

Ozzy had no control over his actions. He fell against the giant dashboard, panting.

You'll kill us both, dammit! Stop this!

His hand reached out toward the button.

I don't care at this point. I WANT to die.

Millimeters away his hand stood trembling over the button. "No, goddamnit!" Ozzy was speaking out loud at this point.

I'm done giving a shit about what YOU want. This ends here!

Ozzy witnessed his hand being raised. "No!"

YES!

Higher, higher his hand went, the more he pleaded with his inner self. "Jesus Christ, stop!"

NEVER! This is it!

In one fluid motion, Ozzy's hand came careening towards the button, pressing it down with such force that it almost dented the dashboard. Everything that happened next was too fast too witness. Ozzy attempted to run for the door, but the door slammed shut. Lights began flashing, an alarm was blaring over the loudspeakers. A recorded voice came in over the alarm.

"WARNING: LETHAL RADIATION SPIKE IMMINENT. ALL PERSONNEL EVACUATE."

The warning continued over and over, overflowing Ozzy's senses. He'd been in worse situations, obviously, but that didn't mean he enjoyed being on the precipice of death. The gentle hum of the electronics turned into mad whirring from all of the machinery and gadgetry, a light emanating from the portals' center. The orbs house within the spires began to glow, first as a gentle candle, then as bright as a searchlight.

Everything was coming down. Sparks flew from the machines, the ground started shaking, stumbling Ozzy and forcing him to grab onto one of the spires, which had grown increasingly hot in the past few seconds. If he had not been wearing gloves, Ozzy was certain that he would have burned himself. Searching for any way out of the bunker, but realizing that it would be a futile effort, Ozzy evaluated his options. Only one ended with him potentially still living.

I see bad moon rising! I see trouble on the way!

Ozzy groaned, "Not really the time right now, asshole!" That was when a bright glow emanated from the portal. A light so bright that Ozzy had to cover his eyes, even with his sunglasses on. Steeling himself, and praying that whatever was on the other side was capable of reason, he ran straight for it, screaming.

"GAH, FUCK IT!" He roared, his body being enveloped by the white light. As soon as the portal closed, a bright green orb surface from the base of the portal. It expanded, and kept expanding until it exploded in a spectacular light show of deadly radio-activeness. Every rodent, every human being within one mile of the explosion, was now turning over and vomiting everything they ate out, followed shortly by death.

Ozzy closed his eyes, not knowing what was happening, where he was, or what would happen to him. Please, God, let me live. It was at that moment that a face materialized directly in front of him, a wild grin upon its face. His eyes were ablaze with passion and anger, which seemed to be focused directly on the Courier.

Face to face at last. See you on the other side.

Darkness.

Dinner for Two

Jesus Christ, this is sad.

After what felt like hours of walking, Chrysalis led Ozzy back to a cave in the middle of a mountain range, one which she used as a home. She claimed that she engaged in a battle to the death with one of this area's most dangerous creatures, a snow Yeti, just to make this her home. Of course, it was still just a cave in the middle of a mountain range that barely staved off the cold. Damp, with lots of sharp icicles hanging from the roof, ready to impale some unfortunate soul who happened to be standing underneath.

The cave had an attempt at interior decorating, with several poorly-prepared pelts lining the wall, all of which had every ounce of meat carved out of them. The incessant sound of water dripping somewhere deeper in the cave was a bittersweet circumstance, as the sound of water constantly dripping would drive someone mad, but the formation of several naturally-filtered puddles and pools of clean water were a bonus.

Several mementos also lined the walls, such as a musty crown hung from one of the natural formations in the rocks.

Definitely a queen. Couldn't let go of the crown.

The crown, now broken and cracked, appeared as though it were made from some cheap metal, something that would suit a prize from a cereal box, not something that would sit upon the heads of royalty. There was a tiny hole formed in the center of the cave, sticks and rocks surrounding it. Obviously used as a makeshift fire pit for cooking game.

A picture frame, made from a material akin to beeswax, sat near a torn mattress lying on the floor one corner of the cave. The picture depicted Chrysalis, healthy and lively, while wearing a magnificently long cape, sitting in a queenly pose. She was wearing the crown that hung from the cave wall, except that it appeared more polished and regal, giving off the air of royalty. If that wasn't bad enough, a creature that appeared to be some sort of cave worm slithered out of one of the many tears in the mattress, leaving a trail of transparent goop. Grimacing at the sight, Ozzy turned his attention back toward his cave hostess.

Chrysalis, for her part, was beginning to feel her anxiety decrease around this 'Ozzy'. Even if he tried to kill her, she knew she wouldn't stand a chance against it. Her malnourishment taking too much of a toll on her form, Ozzy would steamroll her within seconds. Accepting her fate, the most she could do is attempt to be a decent hostess and hope that she appeases him.

Walking towards the fire pit, she realized just how little she had. Of course general pride was at stake, as appearing as a bad hostess would not only damage her dignity, but may very well cost her her life. "I apologize for not having any food, currently. I am... having an unlucky streak with hunting game." Her vision fixated on the fire pit so as to avoid the judgmental eyes of Ozzy. "It's alright. If I had any food to share, I would gladly do so."

Guessing she likes meat.

You don't say? What gave that away, the animal carcasses?

Ignoring his other half, Ozzy took a seat close to the unlit pit. "If you couldn't tell, I do not have many guests." She rested on all fours opposite of Ozzy, the only light originating from the mouth of the cave. "I apologize for the state of my home." She spoke, making a point to not meet the gaze of Ozzy for fear of him making a meal out of her. Ozzy looked at Chrysalis, while an idea was forming in his head. "I'll tell you what: you took me in. Maybe I'll have better luck hunting." Without a moments hesitation, Ozzy stood up and began walking towards to entrance to the cave.

Chrysalis barely had time to speak to him before he ran out the opening.

I hope he brings back a plump fox.

Thaaaaat's right. Just a little closer.

Moments after he exited the cave, Ozzy began working. With the blizzard still raging around him, he began learning the patterns of the animals and beasts around him. Normally he would use 'This Machine' for the job of hunting, but not wanting to scare away a potential meal led him to use the broad machete.

After he had picked up a trail that showed a small fox was in the area, and deciding that that was the best place to start, Ozzy began tracking it. After catching up to the evasive fox, Ozzy found himself resting behind a grouping of rocks leading into yet another field of snow. Machete in hand, Ozzy spied the fox about five yards away from him. Preparing himself for the takedown, Ozzy placed his free hand on the smooth surface of the formation and tensed his legs.

That was before an ear-piercing roar was heard near his position. The fox, no doubt having heard the roar, sprinted off into the wintery abyss. Ozzy sat there, a grin forming on his face.

That. That thing is what I'm eating.

You're going to need the rifle for whatever that was.

Ozzy slung the machete onto his back, replacing it for 'This Machine'. Surveying his surroundings, his eyes found the source of the roar. Eight feet tall, a four-armed beast walked out from behind another nearby snow mound. The white fur covering its entire body did nothing to hide its form to the keen spectator. Horns poking out of its temples, curving downwards in a circular motion increased its intimidation factor, as did the razor-sharp claws that adorned its three-fingered hands. Its skin color appeared to be a paler gray, offset by the singular yellow eye in the middle of its face. A row of pointed teeth sat in the mouth of the beast, a testament to its killing prowess.

As the Yeti surveyed the snow, its eye settled on the brown, armored figure that was the Courier. Letting out a low-pitched growl, followed by a forceful roar, the Yeti began charging the rock formation which Ozzy sat behind

This is going to be fun.

Let's do this!

Letting out his own battlecry, Ozzy trained the rifle on the beasts head, and fired.

Chrysalis sat there, contemplating what just happened.

He just left. Like that!

She was befuddled, to say the least. This creature, who no less than an hour ago had nearly killed her, was now fetching her food.

This must be some sort of trick. That 'Ozzy' will never return and probably perish out in the snow.

Although, deep down... Chrysalis wanted this alien, this 'Ozzy' to return. If he could fool the mistress of the hunt then she was, then surely he had to be a capable hunter himself.

In the meantime, I should most likely get a fire going. This is the first time I have had a guest in... I cannot even remember how long.

With that, Chrysalis began scrounging up as much dry firewood as she possibly could. The wood she has was gathered from trains passing through the frozen north, of which she... 'Borrowed' for the time being. Alright, she stole them, but it was to sustain what little sanity she had left. Gathering up as much as she could, she set them in the center of the pit and attempted to light them.

Yes. 'Lighting' them.

Being drained of magic, she was forced with two options: sit there and strike rocks together, or completely exhaust herself and inflict potential bodily harm to herself. Being the impatient mare that she was, Chrysalis chose the latter. Standing to her full height and leveling her horn towards the wood, she conjured up as much magic as she could from her very being. Exert, pant. Exert, pant. This went on for minutes, until she exerted herself to the point where she could barely breathe.

This is it. This is the one.

With every fiber of magic that she had left, she channeled all of it directly towards the fire. Clenching her eyes, she began to feel very tired and nearly passed out. That was until she heard the gentle ember spark into existence, directly on one of the pieces of wood. Gasping at her success, she knelt down and began to lightly blow on the ember, willing it to grow in size and warmth. After a few seconds, the ember grew into a gentle flame, then into a sufficient fire. Placing the log alongside the others, she fed the fire with other splinters of wood, hoping that it would remain burning.

The fire burned in a bright, warming glow. Her body began to thaw, a feeling which she had forgotten of how amazing it felt. Gazing at the fire, her thoughts returned to Ozzy, recalling his goal of securing dinner for the pair of them.

I hope he is succeeding.

"That's what you get, you fuzzy prick!"

Fuck yeah!

As the beast lay bleeding in the snow, Ozzy realized just how dangerous this species truly was. After two clips of the normal .308 rounds had seemingly no effect on the Yeti, he switched to his spare hollow-points. After those didn't work, Ozzy attempted to slice up the competition, only to find that the skin of the best required at least five strong swings from his machete to even open a wound.

All of that Ozzy learned while the beast was attempting to remove his head from his body. Being tossed, punched and slammed against rocks more than a few times by those incredibly muscular four arms demonstrated that only those who knew the anatomy of the beast could succeed. Add to that the occasions when the Yeti nearly impaled him on those horns of his, this beast was akin to a Deathclaw in more ways than one.

Only after Ozzy shoved a live grenade down the beasts' throat did it submit. The blast took off the lower half of his jaw, allowing Ozzy to stab the beast directly through his mouth, up into the brain. After the Yeti drew its final breath, Ozzy celebrated on his most recent kill, adding that to his overall count.

Plus, this one is on an alien planet. I need to start a new roster for that.

Satisfied with the hefty meal he acquired, Ozzy heaved the carcass of the Yeti onto his back, and began trekking back through the snow.

Fuck, which way was the cave again?

"I'm back!" Ozzy called into the cave, hearing his voice resonate against the walls. "And I've got a nice goddamn meal with me!"

Chrysalis, who had dozed off by the fire waiting for Ozzy to return, was astounded by what he was carrying. There, draped across his back, was one of the most hostile creatures to ever roam the frozen north. At a loss for words, Chrysalis jogged towards the man, bombarding him with a myriad of questions. "How did you best a snow Yeti? Where did you find it? Were there anymore with it?" All of these questions implied that she had not expected Ozzy to make it back with such a prize.

"First, no, there were no more with it." He dropped the body near the pit. "Second, it found me while I was hunting a fox. Lastly, I tossed a grenade down its throat and stabbed it straight through the brain." Ozzy plopped down onto the ground near the fire, the heat immediately warming his body. Chrysalis, still in awe, inspected the corpse of the beast, finding that its jaw was indeed removed, and that a single stab wound on the roof of the mouth was the killing blow.

She stood there, a flurry of emotions invading her thoughts. "Why did you do this?" Ozzy turned his head to see Chrysalis, who was still fixated on the Yeti. "Why did you so nearly embrace death?" She turned, a quizzical look upon her face. Ozzy pondered that for a moment, then shrugged. "I did it because you were hungry, I was hungry, and I wanted to kill something. Sound good?"

This response only heightened her confusion. "To clarify: you nearly kill me, then you willingly share food with me, that food being one of if not THE deadliest creature in this region." Ozzy stared blankly at her.

She's making it sound like that's a problem.

A lot of people tend to not trust someone who almost murdered them with no rhyme or reason.

"Yeah, that seems to be it."  Ozzy stood and neared the corpse, unsheathing Blood Nap from his hip. Slowly but surely, he cut out a hefty portion of the beasts' mid-section, stuck it on the edge of his knife, and set it near the fire. Chrysalis, for her part, was more confused than ever. Without any other options, Chrysalis moved closer to the fire, never letting Ozzy out of her sight. "I have never met someone like you. You are a peculiar one, to say the least." Ozzy looked at her, a smirk forming on his face. "I take that as a compliment. Also, I feel as though I should properly introduce myself." He held out his right hand, Chrysalis recoiling slightly at the action.

"My name is Oswald Slava Acerbi, but I prefer to go by Ozzy or the Courier. I am the head of the First Committee of New Vegas." Chrysalis pondered his name, as well as the outstretched appendage. Staring blankly at it, Ozzy continued. "You're supposed to shake my hand." With that, Chrysalis held up her hoof and moved it toward his 'hand'. Once her hoof was in reach, Ozzy gave it a gentle handshake, or hoof-hand shake as it were. Chrysalis was just perplexed by this Ozzy, or Oswald, or whatever his name is.

"Very well. I am Queen Chrysalis, former leader of the Changeling Hive." Ozzy smiled at that. "Sounds like you were ousted. Care to expand on that?" Chrysalis for her part was not so keen to revisit the events which led her to her current political and housing status. "I do not care to share the whole story, but I will tell you this: I attempted something, I failed, and certain members of my hive staged a coup and overthrew me. They then banished me to this wretched place."

The Courier nodded, reaching to test the meat that had been cooking. "I'm sorry. That sounds rough." After feeling that the meat was not quite done, Ozzy returned his gaze to Chrysalis. "You don't seem like that bad of an... Individual. What were you trying to accomplish?" Chrysalis looked away from Ozzy, towards the fire. "I will not reveal that information. It is too damning." She look backed to him. "What about you? You are a leader of sorts as well?"

Ozzy shrugged, looking back towards the meat. "I suppose. I'm head of a committee who is in charge of a small, but prosperous sovereign nation." Seeing that she was expecting more, Ozzy continued. "Listen, my story is long and complicated, and I doubt you want to hear the entire thing. Plus... I did some things that I'm not proud of." Chrysalis smiled at that. "I understand that. How about a compromise? I will tell you my tale, minus the sections that I choose to keep to myself, and you will do the same. Sound fair?"

Ozzy, being the gentleman that he is, agreed. "Fair enough. A meal and a story? I can dig it." Reaching towards the meat and finding it decently warm, he removed it from the knife, cut it in half, and handed one half to Chrysalis, who gladly accepted.

"Very well. I will start." Chrysalis said, before taking a generous bite from the warm meat.

Once Queen, Always Queen

I am a Changeling.

My people have survived throughout the millennia, from when our first ancestors were nothing more than larvae. Our primary nourishment is love, mainly from one pony to another. If we sustain extended periods of time without love, we wither away and die. We survived out in the inhospitable Badlands to the south, where the sun touches past the fuming yellow clouds. Of course we had been persecuted for most of our species existence, but we made do. After all, when the threat of poisonous air is a constant risk, why would any sane do-gooder travel into the harsh ruins to eradicate us, effectively committing genocide?

I was a queen for as long as I could remember. My mother died while giving birth to me, and my father was found to be a traitor, embezzling money from our government to further his own agenda. After he had been fed to Meshaba, (that is the greatest volcano in the region), they crowned me queen at the age of seven. I was in no way prepared for what was to come.

I was thrust into a world that I barely comprehended. Laws upon bills upon grants ensured that there would be stacks of paperwork that were as tall as me. Everything that I did was criticized by everyone, whether I tripped and fell in front of an assembly, with their laughter echoing throughout the chamber, or signed in a law that regulated commerce, effectively condemning the free market of the hive?

The government officials were no better. A 'government that was intended to stand united' my rear end. Every single day there was another official who attempted to seize control through trickery and deceit, and several more that attempted through brute force. I cannot recall every time that a blade has whisked past my head, but I can recall the cries of the thrower. "Death to the Queen! Long live (insert name of generic government party here)."

In short, it was chaos. The condition of the Hive seemed to worsen even further when we suffered decreased traffic in caravans passing through our stretch of Tartarus. Of course, when I said every 'sane' do-gooder, you had your fair share of 'insane' travelers. We traded with them, explained our situation. Then, when negotiations inevitably failed, we apprehended them and extracted their love by force. After that, no travelers came through. We grew desperate. We were in a bad state, and we needed a plan.

That was when one Changeling came to me behind closed doors. I had heard his name before, as he was a government official, but we had never had any personal business dealings. I vaguely recall seeing his face throughout the crowds of Changelings when an assembly was called. From what I could tell, this official was as shrewd and cunning as they made them, stepping over everything and everypony in his path to do so.

Ersatz. That snake.

Ersatz came to me with a plan to 'Save the hive!' and 'Acquire all the love we could ever hope for!' I should have taken his words with a grain of salt, but I was enraptured by his plan. It seemed too perfect to fail, and he believed that it was fool-proof. I should have stopped there and then, found a better way to acquire the nourishment which we so desperately needed.

Ersatz's plan was this: infiltrate a city which held copious amounts of love, swindle our way past the security, then have the Hive invade in force. We had a perfect target selected, one which we discovered held more love than most cities combined, double that due to a wedding that was supposed to take place there between a darling bride and a handsome groom. Our scouts told tales of feeling the love from their positions outside of the city, it was so strong.

Something happened, though. One of our couriers had been intercepted by the city guard, carrying our plan with it. The city went on high alert, a shield was raised, the patrols were doubled. Our operatives in the city exhausted themselves from constantly activating their camouflage.

By the way, we can disguise ourselves in the form of any pony we choose. One of the few perks of being an oversized bug.

Regardless, we were at a loss. It appeared that the operation would have to be called off. Once again, though, Ersatz came through. Using his intellect, he devised a plan where the bride-to-be would be kidnapped and done away with. Who would be taking her place, you ask?

Me. I was to walk down the aisle, proclaim my love for the fool, then call in the Hive.

We infiltrated the city in the night, through these abandoned gem mines. A suitable prison, we decided, for the loving bride. After we had maneuvered our way through the castle, incapacitating any guards we came across, all till we came across this sweet pony's room. Disguising ourselves as room service, and after acquiring a covered entree plate, we knocked on her door and she allowed us in without incident. The ingénue was quite taken aback when we shoved a gag in her mouth and tied her up, throwing her on the plate and rolling her out of the room.

After I had memorized every detail of her sweet, innocent face, my team extracted her down into the abandoned mines, ensuring that she would be dealt with after our operation had ended. That was when my job began. I had to become the pleasant bride with the dulcet voice, and with my superb acting and manipulation, I had a majority of the staff, guards, even the monarchs of that city and the very husband fooled.

I suppose the cat is out of the bag. I was attacking Canterlot, which is the capital of a country called Equestria. The country is run by a dual-monarchy, sisters, Princess Celestia and Luna. One controls the sun, one controls the moon, if you could not gather that from there names. Your befuddled face tells me that you are confused, so I will explain the science behind all of that after my story. It's really not that hard once you get past the initial shock.

Anyway, I had most of the city fooled. What little of my old personality bled through was chalked up to 'pre-marital fear' or something of the sort. This entire operation WOULD have succeeded with flying colors, I WOULD have conquered Canterlot, Equestria, and the Sisters had it not been for that little purple bitch.

Twilight Sparkle. Celestia's star pupil, or something along those lines.

Apparently, the bride (who was named Cadance), cared for the little vixen when she was younger. Knowing Twilight through her brother, Shining Armor, (who was the groom and captain of the guard who HAPPENED TO CONTROL THE VERY SHIELD WHICH KEPT MY FORCES AT BAY), Twilight grew up with Cadance, knowing her personality and mindset inside and out. As well of an analyzer as I am, I could not rise to the level which years and years of friendship would do for getting to know someone. Twilight was the only one out of her friends, her brother, and the city who knew that something was amiss.

She tried convincing her friends that I was an imposter, but they wouldn't believe her. Then, she apparently witnessed me warping the mind of her dimwitted brother, and called me out in public for it. Of course my superb acting proved to be superior to her testimony, as everypony abandoned her, blamed her for ruining the training ceremony, and effectively killed her spirit. After that, she fell to the ground and begged for my forgiveness, stating that she was sure something was wrong with me.

In hindsight, I could have accepted her apology, go back to the plan, and caught her completely off guard at the wedding, potentially winning the battle. Something in that moment, though, just made me want to end her. I exposed myself, showing that I was an imposter, scaring the living daylights out of her, and whisked her away down to the very gem mines that the bride was being held. Also, looking back, we should have found better guards than brainwashed bridesmaids.

After that, the operation seemed to be going off without a hitch. The groom and captain of the guard was under my control, my forces intercepted their most effective weapon, (these things called the Elements of Harmony, some poppycock about the 'Magic of Friendship'), and the only pony who was even remotely suspicious was locked up underneath the city. The only thing left to accomplish was attend the wedding, spring the trap, and harvest all the love we could.

Well, the big moment comes. The captain of the guard is all dressed up in his uniform, I am wearing the dress meant for that she-devil, and everyone has let their guard down. Halfway through the ceremony, the door bursts open, and who is it? The minx of the bride and that insufferable goody-four-hooves. They come storming in, bringing the entire ruse down around me. I decided, 'Well, the plan is in the open. I may as well strike fear into the hearts of these ponies.'

I reveal my true form, only for the Sun monarch herself to attempt at apprehending me. Of course, I bested her without breaking a sweat, but that was when Twilight and her friends escaped the ceremony room and ran for the Elements. That was when my Hive came down like a hammer, smashing the shield that protected their cesspit of a city, allowing my people to drain the love straight from them. It was poetic beauty, witnessing the swarm rain from the sky.

Well, a squad of Changelings apprehended these matrons of justice, escorting them back to the throne room. After giving some spiel about how 'I will be defeated' and 'Friendship will overcome', that bitch of a bride decides to try and break the spell I used on that oaf of a husband. She uses the power of looooove to free his mind, and they blast myself and my swarm straight out of the city! For Faust's sake, that spell took me years to master, and she unwinds it like it was nothing?! I'd have her head on a pike if I could!

Anyway, after my humiliating defeat, the swarm and I retreated back to the Hive. Upon my arrival, I am met with a unanimous decision to usurp me, even more so now due to my failure in Canterlot. The majority of the government wanted to see me hanged, a testament to the consequence of failure within the Hive. Then, that wretched back-stabber Ersatz claims that he 'has a better idea'. His idea? Banish me out to the far north, here, where I am horribly alone and underprepared to survive in such conditions.

'But Chrysalis, can you not just leave? Why stay in this putrid region filled with creatures that could kill me without exerting too much force?' I have attempted before to escape, find a new home for myself, only to be intercepted by Changeling patrols, time after time. I also cannot escape due to the word of mouth from the events of the wedding. All of Equestria and the surrounding countries know my name, and would sooner turn me in than accept me as a refugee.

Ozzy, as I sit here and tell my tale, I assure you that I will escape. I will retake my hive.

And I will impale that traitor Ersatz on my very horn. I swear it.

Royal Struggle

The pair sat there in silence, Ozzy soaking in the tale. "So, you feed off of the physical manifestation of love, attempted to lay siege to a very loving city, failed, and were cast out from your hive? That's the gist of it?" He finished, taking another bite of the meat which he had served himself. "That is my tale in its entirety. I may only look to the past and realize what other tactics I may have used, where I went wrong, etc." She looked toward the fire, a somber look adorning her face.

"That sounds like a tough situation. You have my sympathy for the state of which you find yourself in now," Ozzy said. Chrysalis looked to him. "Thank you. Of course, I have only myself to blame for not recognizing the threat that Ersatz posed. It was my misstep that cause the failure." She averted her gaze. "I should not have been blinded by my desperation to be a fair ruler. I should have cast that turncoat out as soon as I saw him enter my chambers." Her eyes glazed over, reflecting on her mistakes.

"You can't blame yourself for what you couldn't possibly see coming." She looked back at him. "I mean, sure, declaring war on someone was not something that I would have done, and the banditry was a little uncalled for, but you work with what you have from the inside. Why couldn't you feed off of each other?" Ozzy said, earning a glare from Chrysalis. "If we were to feed off of one another, it would have been a pointless endeavor. It would be an endless cycle of sucking the life force from one another, something that we could not afford to do."

Ozzy pondered this. "So you needed a giant source of love that continued to replenish its stock, something that, as far as I know, doesn't exist." Chrysalis nodded in agreement. "Precisely. The closest conduit of infinite love would be the very bride that I replaced, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." She finished, her voice taking on a mocking tone. Ozzy, constantly evaluating the options, pressed further. "Then why did you not attempt to strike a deal with the princess in secret? Did you attempt that before going to war?"

Chrysalis felt anger beginning to boil inside of her. "As a matter of fact, we did at one point attempt to establish a connection with the princess. Being scared out of her wits once our agents dropped their camouflage, she threatened to call the guard if we did not vacate her premises immediately." Her voice became more hostile as she spoke. "Again, our past reputation of bandits and cutthroats once again bit us in the backside. She had heard tales of caravans coming under attack in the middle of the desert by our squads, something that I could not control." She emphasized the last part of her sentence, hoping to drive the point home.

Ozzy, for his part, would not relent. "Well it sounds as though your government was nothing but a bunch of bandits, even more so when you went along with Ersatz's plan! 'Sure, let's just invade another country and steal all of their love! That'll go over well!'" He finished with a roll of his eyes, while Chrysalis' were beginning to blaze in anger. "I was young, I was fooled!" She stood up to her full height. "I had no idea what I was doing as queen, alright?! I'd like to see you attempt to rule a kingdom when the only thing on your pre-pubescent mind was how nice of an ass the bodyguard had!" She stood inches from Ozzy's face. "How dare you sit there and judge me! What gives you the right to trivialize my rule as queen? Who do you think you are?!"

Her voice echoed throughout the cave. For a few moments, the only sounds were the crackle of the fire, Chrysalis' panting, and the wind howling outside.

Ozzy stared at her. His eyes, once calm and neutral, now gave the sense of 'calm before the storm'. Staring into the man's eyes, Chrysalis began to feel a cold chill run down her spine, not caused by the chilly cave. After a minute of pure silence and glaring, Ozzy set his meal back towards the fire, and spoke. "Where I come from, there were no true leaders." Ozzy stood, walking toward a nearby wall of the cave. "They had the power of a nation at their fingertips, yet did not know how to wield it. None of them did, especially those who attempted to extend their rule by beating others into submission, so that men who held themselves in higher regard would stand against them."

He ran his hand along the smooth rock. "Their arrogance and hubris transformed a once great nation into a smoldering crater. Even after my world essentially killed itself, men rose from the ashes, claiming power where there was none. One thing I have learned from history and personal experience is that great kingdoms come from morale. If you do not believe in your rule, why should anyone else? Convincing your citizens that the enemy is born from the devil himself, and that you are the knight in shining armor, is what conquers."

He looked back at Chrysalis. " 'Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.' A man born hundreds of years before me said that, and he was right. These idiots had no idea, nor the right to be running a nation. I have spent years convincing the people of my nation that I was not the enemy, but their friend. Then, I spent even longer convincing them that MY enemy was THEIR enemy." Pacing back and forth, he continued. "Factions of men bearing different flags, morals and ideals have fought, died, and been reborn time and time again. The phrase 'History repeats itself' holds more merit than most realize."

Chrysalis was confused by his words. "Well, what qualified YOU to become a ruler?" Ozzy let out a chuckle at that. "What qualifies any man to be greater than the other? From all of the historical texts that I have recovered, my rule is similar to an ancient king. The man who informed me of this, however, did not divulge the ending to me." Ozzy sat back down by the fire. He turned towards the Changeling. "You think that I analyze your rule without merit? You question who I am?" His gaze turned icy as he leaned over, now close enough so that she felt his breath on her nose. "You want to know who I am?" His eyes frigid with unfeeling. "I am THE goddamn king. The one who greater men fear, the one who forces weaker men into submission." Chrysalis backed away from the man as he continued.

"I AM king. Never forget that."

The anger which Chrysalis felt moments ago dissipated into fear. This man, who was an enigma to speak to, gave her reason to pause. Surely, he was not the most mentally stable individual, but she sensed something greater, something more sinister. As he returned to his position near the fire, Chrysalis swallowed, her throat becoming dry during Ozzy's proclamation.

"Very well, Ozzy. I have told you my tale, now I believe it is your turn." Chrysalis shifted her body so that she was directly facing the Courier.

"Fair enough, I'll tell you. I'll warn you, though, it's a long one."

Make sure to include the part about your friends.

Fuck you.

From the Sand

I suppose I should tell you where I come from, and how it came to be.

My world has been around for billions of years. There hasn't always been humans there, but we came along soon enough. Thousands of years passed by relatively peacefully, but that changed. From my scrounging of pre-war knowledge, and from some first hand accounts, I've managed to get a general idea of what happened.

There were three countries: the United States of America, China, and the Soviet Union. China and the Soviet Union were allies, and hated America. Each of these three countries had nuclear missiles, weapons capable of leveling entire cities in one blast. On one fateful day, October 23rd, 2077, each of these countries bathed the world in nuclear fire. Men and women were burning alive on the surface, effectively killing most of the worlds population.

Those that did survive did so in these underground bunkers called 'Vaults'. After the missiles stopped firing and people left the vaults, they started rebuilding society. From small towns to sprawling cities, people formed governments and laws, most of them being 'Don't cause trouble or we'll kill you.' Unfortunately with the pre-war society collapsing came lawless bandits and horrible monstrosities to roam the Wasteland. People killing other people just for sport or for scraps of food, going so far as to kill children.

Well, that's when I came into the picture. My parents came from some vault in California and decided to become farmers. I grew up with a gun in my hand, as well as a stupid fucking rake. They made me rake crops that were essentially dirt. THEY MADE ME RAKE FUCKING DIRT. Regardless, I was an only child, and I wanted to get away from the farm.

My wish came true, unfortunately, when I went for a walk one day. Something must have happened there, because when I got back, my parents had turned into... Monsters. I should explain that when a human encounters radiation (which is part of what makes nuclear weapons so dangerous) and are unlucky enough to not just shrivel up and die, they become 'ghouls'. Most ghouls are still able to reason, but if their minds are lost to the radiation, they turn into feral ghouls. These ones just attack anything they see, except other ghouls.

Well, imagine my surprise when I come home from a walk to find that my parents had turned into feral ghouls. After they chased me up into the loft of our barn, I was out of options. So... I picked up a gun...

Aaawww, my favorite part of the story.

And I shot them. Both of them. Repeatedly. In the face.

After that, I ran. I did't know where I was going, and I didn't care. That was until I ended up in the Hub, a huge city that seemed to be unscathed after the Great War. I was nine years old, and I picked up a job with a caravan. A nine year old caravanner, barely making any money apart from what he picked out of other peoples pockets.

After I had done that for a few years, these people called the New California Republic hired me to take a package to this place called the Divide. This place showed potential, a real chance for America to rise from its fiery grave. That was... Until I showed up. Dormant nuclear missiles had been residing in the Divide, and I just happened to come along (unknowingly) with the launch codes to activate them. So, I get pretty close to this place, when everything just falls apart. The missiles start going off, people are dying left and right, and I got the hell out of there while I could. Two people survived the Divide: Me, and Ulysses, but we'll get to him later.

After that whole debacle, I wandered the country for a while. That was right about when the NCR and Caesar's Legion started tearing at each other, I think. By the way, Caesar's Legion is this army made up of conquered tribes that this one man, Caesar, brought under his rule. Well, he and the NCR started going at it, all while lonely little me was wandering what was left after America. Not having a lot of people to talk to, I started hearing... Someone else.

Oh yeah, here I come!

This other person helped me out in quite a lot of situations, but is still an asshole.

Well, at least I'm honest about being an asshole.

More time passed, and so did my twenty fifth birthday. At that point, I was a little tired of wandering, and wanted to settle down. I went back to the Hub and was offered a job. The company that hired me was named the Mojave Express, and the job seemed simple enough: head to the city of New Vegas with a package, drop it off, and get payed. Maybe play the slots in Vegas while I was there.

Well, I'm a few miles away from the city when I get ambushed by this pack of assholes, all led by this weasel of a man named Benny. After telling me that 'The game was rigged from the start', he shoots me in the head and buried me in a shallow grave. He leaves, and a Securitron, (a robot produced by this company before the war) digs me out and takes me to this doctor in the town nearby. This doctor, Doc Mitchell, pulls the bullet out and saves my life.

So, a few days pass and I'm up on my feet again. I get my bearings, get my Pip-Boy, and start doing all of this menial shit for everyone around town. Then these guys show up, the Powder Gangers. They start throwing threats around, saying that they're going to kill everyone, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I managed to talk them out of it, while still managing to keep this town, Goodsprings, happy with me. I start working with them, I start making connections amongst people. I was making a name for myself.

After I start aligning myself, getting buddy buddy with all of these groups in the Mojave, I manage to track Benny to the Strip. There, I met Mr. House, the man who single-handedly financed and rebuilt the Strip. He tells me about what that package was, and how it would benefit me and everyone else. It was called the Platinum Chip, and it would basically upgrade the army of Securitrons that House used to defend the Strip. Well, Benny apparently wanted to use the chip and turn all of the Securitrons on House, seizing New Vegas for himself.

Benny made two crucial errors: he didn't make sure that I was dead, and worse, he fucked with the wrong man. I cornered him in his little penthouse, only to be attacked by his goddamn bodyguards. He escapes, only to be captured by those same guys from before, Caesar's Legion. Well, while I'm investigating his penthouse after I killed his guys, I came across the man with the plan, Yes Man. He proposed that I use the chip to activate the Securitron army underneath this hill called Fortification Hill, and that I should kill House.

After I put a bullet between Houses' eyes, Yes Man plugged himself into the system and took over. He controlled the Securitrons, and I happened to rewire his programming a little after I found out that he could potentially turn into a harsh dictator that would kill me at the first chance he got. I obviously couldn't let that happen. Then I get a message that Caesar himself, the leader of that giant army I mentioned, wanted to speak with me. So I head to his fort, (which just happened to be Fortification Hill) and we chatted.

I had Benny crucified, and I got the chip back. I then used that chip to activate the Securitron army under the fort, and had that under my belt. Then I decided that I would win Hoover Dam (this huge power supply for the city of New Vegas) for Caesar, but under one condition: he had to turn his army around. No more mass murders, no more innocent deaths, a complete one eighty in reputation. Reluctantly agreeing, I set about doing that.

So, my situation so far: I have a majority of the tribes and major power players in the Wasteland in my pocket, plus siding with Caesar and having his army side with me. Add to that that I had taken a trip into Utah and recruited these two other tribes, along with this absolute badass, Joshua Graham. His other friend, Daniel, didn't agree with what I was doing, and tried to stop me. Let me tell you: getting in my way is horrible for your health.

After a few more excursions in some of the lesser known areas of the wastes, including an abandoned casino, a pre-war science facility that could greatly help people in the Wasteland, and returning to the Divide. That was by far the hardest journey of my life. I must have killed off half of the population that was left in the Divide. Finally, I come across the other man that had survived the destruction of the Divide, Ulysses. A man who spoke in riddles and metaphors, but had more wisdom than most of the wasteland combined.

Ulysses was under order by Caesar to use the remaining missiles at the Divide to bomb the Long 15, a military outpost used by the NCR to supply and reinforce their position in the Mojave. I saw the way the NCR was running things, and though I agreed with some of their policies, I just thought that they had to go. I answered for my crimes with Ulysses, letting him launch the nukes. Looking back, the world didn't need more nuclear fire, but it would help me out greatly in the long run.

I talked with Ulysses. He told me that he felt a sense of dread wherever I went, and that I would be the cause for more pain and suffering for more innocent people. That was when he compared me to that ancient king. This king, who challenged those far greater than he was, who ruled his kingdom with an iron fist, was remembered throughout the centuries.

Ozymandias. I will never forget that name as long as I live.

I return to the Mojave, and am given a special order by Caesar: kill the president of the NCR who would be making a guest appearance at Hoover Dam. Simple, right? Fucking no, far from it. I get there and there is security out the wazoo. Every mountain range, building, corner and door is guarded by the NCR elite. I, on the other hand, decided to take a more... Explosive approach. Sneaking past security, I managed to rig the stage he would talk on with C4 (a very powerful explosive). Then the waiting began.

His vertibird (this pre-war plane-ish type aircraft) flew in, and he comes strolling down this walkway like the cock of the walk. Proud and superior, not even realizing that he is moments away from his own demise. He gets up on the stage and starts talking, and talking, and talking, and holy shit I thought he would never shut up. After a few minutes, I hit the button to trigger the explosives.

Then... Nothing. No explosion, no random limbs, nothing. That's when I felt Goat come out to play.

Oh God, I love this part.

I blacked out. I didn't know what was happening, and I don't think I want to. I came to about maybe an hour later, and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE there was dead. Throats slashed, heads off, limbs missing. It got the job done, to say the least.

After that, the big moment comes: the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. Absolute chaos, let me tell you. Gunfire, bombs, slashing, screaming, crying. I'm doing my thing, killing as many NCR bastards as I could, essentially handing the Dam to Caesar on a silver plate. I killed the NCR general  and tossed him over the Dam, and man did it feel good to hear him screaming all the way down.

So Caesar moves on New Vegas, but is met with quite a different reception: where he should have met cowering citizens, he met the fiercest electronic army that money could buy. During the Second Battle, I had sent power to the bunker underneath Fortification Hill, waking up the Securitron army and unlocking their advanced load out. Needless to say that Caesar is stunned.

I escort him into the Lucky 38 (that's the Casino that I claimed from Mr. House), and I made him a deal: hand over the reigns of the Legion to me, or I would wipe them out. He, of course, was one hundred percent against it, claiming that I was a fool and would be crushed under his might. I proved him wrong though.

I told him how I had aligned myself with not only the Brotherhood of Steel (this knightly order of technology-hoarders), the local Super Mutants (giant monsters who had been affected by this specific type of virus called FEV), the Powder Gangers, Boomers, Great Khans, Sorrows and Dead Horses, Joshua Graham, the Securitrons, etcetera etcetera. Caesar and his eighty six conquered tribes wouldn't stand a chance, and I made sure of that.

He knew he was beat. I could see it in his eyes, that passion slowly fading away. He calls in his attack dog, Legate Lanius, and gives him the news: The Courier, Ozzy, me, is now in command of the Legion, and Lanius must swear his fealty to me by order of Caesar himself. Lanius, despite his prior convictions, agrees. Now add one of the most brutal warriors in the Wasteland to my repertoire of resources, and you have yourself a pretty decent army.

Lanius leaves the room, and Caesar does something really stupid: he pulls a knife on me and attempts to kill me. Remember when I said that opposing me is never good for ones health? I lost it, and decided to make an example of this son of a bitch. I kill him, cut him open, climb out to one of the spires of the Lucky 38, and hang him by his lower intestine on the end of it. Speaking of which, the human lower intestine is twenty one feet in length, more than enough to hang the bastard with.

After that, I formed the First Committee of New Vegas. I started trading with other cities, other towns, increasing my revenue. I wanted to reopen the Lucky 38, start hopefully repairing the city and getting some goddamn clean water into the pipes. Not to mention creating a decent sewer network. After a while, everything just fell into place. I purged the Mojave of most of the NCR, and started my campaign to reclaim California from those damn bureaucrats.

You going to tell her about the message you received? From Cass?

I should also mention that I wasn't alone for some of my adventures in the desert. I made a few friends here and there, but they didn't agree with my style of making the Mojave safer. They left me, and I don't blame them for the most part. Then I had my runner, Vulpes, tell me about this location in an area to the north of us, I investigate it, and unfortunately activate something that should have stayed silent for a little while longer.

Then I ended up here. Face down in the middle of a blizzard. That's me for the most part, Chrysalis.

Hey, asshole. You still didn't tell her about the message.

I never will.

Motives

The pair sat there in silence, the only sound being the crackling of the fire in front of them. Chrysalis for her part was hanging on every word the Courier spoke, analyzing the strategies and mindset of the man sitting before him. How one being could manipulate, threaten, and kill his way into power to such a degree was enough to send the queen reeling.

"Your story is a unique one, Ozzy, I will tell you that." Ozzy looked toward her, tiredness prevalent on his features. "I do have one question, though." Ozzy was curious. He was sure that he recanted a pretty basic overview of his life. "You do all of these things in the name of consolidating power for yourself. What gave you this drive to lord over your kingdom?"

He pondered that. As far back as he could remember, he had always yearned for a superior position of power. "To be completely honest, Chrysalis, I can't tell you that. I've wanted to live this kind of life for most of my life." He looked back toward the fire. "I can, however, tell you what reignited my passion for seeing some semblance of justice done in my world."

The queen was intrigued. "Do tell." Her tone showed that she was enjoying hearing the Courier's tales, and were it not for the subject matter, Ozzy would be a great deal more exuberant about sharing his story. "There was this boy that I met at a trading post. He was a little weird, but that's the norm for the Wasteland." Ozzy let out a half-hearted chuckle. "Anyway, this kid. I never knew his real name, but he called himself 'The Forecaster'."

Chrysalis tilted her head in confusion. "Forecaster? Comparable to a weather pony, yes?" Ozzy smirked. "Kind of. Let me explain: this kid, this little orphan, suffered from these migraines. He wore this headgear on his head that he called his 'medicine'. What happened was that when he took off his medicine, he would start speaking about events, places, people, all in a very fortune teller-esque fashion. He sold these thoughts for caps, and that's how he made his living."

Chrysalis made a silent 'oh' with her mouth, understanding the situation more clearly. "So, this child was essentially just a fortune teller?" Ozzy pointed at her. "Correct. I met him, and I guess we just hit it off. He was pretty cool once you got to know him." Ozzy scanned the walls of the cave, looking away from the queen. "I felt bad for him, and believe me, I am the farthest thing from empathetic. Something about this kid, though. I just wanted to take him back with me. Give him a home, you know. That way he wouldn't have to live out in the middle of the goddamn desert."

Chrysalis slowly nodded. "You felt a greater sense of attachment to the child. Did you offer to take him in?" She adjusted her position on the floor. "I did, eventually. I asked him if he wanted to come back to Vegas with me, but every time that I did, he refused. That didn't stop me from visiting him a lot, though." Ozzy picked up Blood Nap, twirling it on the ground. "What happened to the child?" Chrysalis asked.

That's when Ozzy's visage took on a more sullen expression. Memories and emotions stirred within the Courier, but he internally reminded himself to keep his emotions in check. "I went back one day. After Hoover Dam part two. The place was deserted, that apparently being one of the main routes used by the NCR to carry their wounded away from the battle." Ozzy grimaced, a familiar anger burning inside of him. "For some God-awful reason, the NCR decided that whoever they came across was an enemy. It didn't matter what they looked like, or even if they offered help. Everyone who they encountered was shot on sight."

Chrysalis frowned at this. Murdering innocent civilians without a somewhat reasonable cause? That was a cowardly tactic in most people's books. Ozzy continued, his voicing gradually increasing in decibel. "And I have no idea why, but they decided, 'Hey! This kid who poses absolutely no threat to us is cowering in a box, what should we do with him?'" Ozzy threw his hands up, pointing to objects that only he could see. "'Why not hang him from a nearby street pole, upside down, and see who could hit where while they're blindfolded?'" He stood up. Chrysalis slowly inched away from the man.

"He was a fuckin' kid, for God's sake! I found him with thirteen bullet holes in him! I could tell that he was still breathing until that last one penetrated his skull!" Ozzy began pacing, waving his arms, pointing at random objects. He turned to Chrysalis, his eyes akin to a crazed mans. "I'll tell you this, Chrysalis. I may regret a great number of things that I have done, but when I went scouting and found their temporary base camp to treat the wounded, I was in my right mind when I put all of them down like the dogs they were!"

His voice echoed throughout the cave. Chrysalis, for her part, was left staring at the man as he panted, his rage-filled rant seeming to be over. Calmly, Ozzy sat back down in front of the fire, biting into another heap of yeti meat. "As I said before, I cannot tell you when my power-hungriness took hold within my psyche, but that incident is when I said to myself, 'I need to be on some form of throne. I won't settle for anything else.'"

Chrysalis sat their, allowing the man to tear into the meal. She mentally noted that his claims of being unpredictable held merit, as did the fact that the hypocrisy radiating off of him was stifling. "I can see how such an event would lead to the righteous actions which you carried out." Ozzy looked at her, his eyes mostly devoid of emotion. "However, and this is but a trivial matter, but what are 'caps'?"

Ozzy nodded. "Ah. Caps are the form of currency used in the Wasteland. People tried to use the old form, but it was pointless after a time." He continued to devour the meat. Chrysalis adjusted herself, and awkward silence working its way into the air. The only sounds left were the fire, Ozzy eating, and the storm outside. Upon realizing how long they had been talking, Chrysalis felt a food coma coming on. "Indeed. Well, with that, I think I shall lie down for a short time. A nap sounds absolutely delightful right about now." She stood, making her way over to the rotted mattress.

"Ozzy." She called.

He turned to look at her. Her voice barely came out as a whisper when she spoke. "I would like to thank you again for the meal. I could not have done that myself in my current state. I appreciate it very much." Ozzy's eyebrows lifted. "Yeah, no problem, Chrysalis. I'll save some for the trip." At that, she turned around. "Hold on a moment, what trip? Where are we going?" Ozzy laughed at that. "You think I'm going to spend my time in this place in a damp cave? Fuck that. We leave when you wake up, pack lightly and only what you need."

Chrysalis was put off by his demanding tone. "Wait just a minute, who are you to tell me to what to do?" He looked back at her. "You mean to tell me you WANT to stay here? In this shitty, depressing place?" Chrysalis was about to respond, but realized that traveling with him would be a better change of pace than what she was currently experiencing. One thought still nagged at her, though.

"Why would you want to take me with you? I am a war criminal, and certainly not the best companion. Ponies would shun you for even acknowledging me." Ozzy shook his head, swallowing another bite of meat. "Listen, Chrysalis: I like you. You're not so bad to hang around, and you're the first sentient being that I've come across out here." Chrysalis furrowed her brow at the Courier. "Also, I can't leave you here in good conscience. I think you learned from your crimes, and even if you haven't, I don't give a shit."

Chrysalis stood there, rooted to her spot on the floor. To say she was surprised would be an understatement. How this man, this alien, that she met this very day, could let her accompany him on his travels while fully aware of her past transgressions absolutely baffled her. "Ozzy, to say that I have met someone quite like you would be a blatant lie. You truly are an odd individual." She turned, making her way back to the mattress. Ozzy used two fingers to give a half-hearted salute. "Anytime, man. I aim to confuse."

Chrysalis lie there, her mind racing on the events of the day. How she went from a starving, depressed wreck to a nourished, dare she say jovial queen astounded her. As she began to drift off to sleep, she whispered in a voice that only she could hear.

"Thank you for giving me a second chance."

You really think that this is a good idea?

I like her. Besides, if she's as powerful as she claims she is, she'll pack a helluva punch in a firefight.

You heard her, though. She's a branded war criminal. What do you think that's going to say about us?

Since when have you started caring about what people thought of us?

Very true.

You're right, though. If I want to give these ponies the ole' razzle-dazzle, then I'm going to have to paint myself as the good guy, and that will be a greater challenge with her by my side.

... Razzle-dazzle?

Ah, fuck you.

Through the Storm

"You're going to pay for what you did!"

They never stopped shouting.

"Just line her up against a wall and kill her!"

A cacophony of voices, all screaming for blood.

"She isn't fit to be queen!"

It wasn't even her plan.

"I have the perfect punishment for her."

His eyes. His damned eyes. That smile, too. The visage of a schemer.

The voices hushed when he spoke, holding their breath.

"Exile her. Far to the north."

Riotous applause. Cheers. Laughter. Mocking her.

"I always liked you, Chrysalis."

"Come on, Chrysalis. Time to move."

Chrysalis tossed and turned on her destroyed mattress, this being the first time that she had a decent nap in the past year. She turned away from the man, who gently prodded her with the tip of his boot. She groaned, a sleepy "Five more minutes" escaping her. As she lay there, the man had a bored expression upon his face, obviously not caring for her post-nap antics. Continuing to gently kick her, she swung a hoof in his general direction. "Obey your queen and let me sleep."

"You are no queen of mine, but if we're going to get the hell out of this arctic shit-box, then we have to move," Ozzy spoke. Growing tired of her unwillingness to move, he bent over to grab one of her hooves. Lifting her up by her front hoof to where she was dangling mere inches from the ground, she wriggled in his grasp. "Stop, alright, I will get up!" Ozzy let his grip go, letting the queen fall to the floor, she shook herself awake. "Why must you disturb me? That was the most fulfilling nap I have had in months!" Rubbing her drowsy eyes as she spoke, she yearned to return to her poorly-maintained bed.

"Like I said, we're leaving. Gather up whatever personal possessions you wish, and say goodbye to this dump." He turned, giving the cave-turned-home a final inspection. "I've already gathered up as much of the Yeti meat as I can carry. That should last us until we find civilization." As he spoke, Chrysalis began to collect her things at a sluggish pace. Her crown, the picture, she could never let those go. She would not allow the decaying treasures of her glory days evaporate into nothingness in this dark cavern.

"Would you mind telling me exactly where we are heading? The nearest civilization would be the Crystal Empire, and I have attempted to infiltrate their city with... Little success." She pondered where she would carry her personal belongings, until Ozzy tossed a makeshift nap-sack towards her. The sack, she determined, was crudely fashioned from the skin of the deceased snow Yeti, something that she found only mildly unsettling.

"Well, seeing as how you're more acquainted with this area than I am, I was going to leave the 'where' part up to you. Where do you think we should head?" Ozzy awaited her answer, but was met with only a confused gawk. "What do you mean, 'where do I want to go'? I thought you had a plan." She stared at him incredulously, as he returned her fierce gaze. "I mean exactly what I said. You know more about this area than I do, and seeing as how you won't be accepted into this Crystal Empire, that means we have to leave this place. So I ask again, where do you want to go?"

Chrysalis was unsure of how to respond. Her first thoughts were to return to her hive and reclaim her throne, but her current physical condition would ensure that she would be obliterated. With memories of her home came the feeling of warmth and heat on her shell, and she settled with anywhere that had a desert climate. "I would appreciate heading to a more thawed-out area than this. Maybe where the Buffalo roam? What was that pony settlement, Appleloosa?" She pondered, hoping that Ozzy would agree with those terms.

"I agree with the warmer territory. Appleloosa it is," He said with a smirk, hiking up another Yeti skin bag over his shoulder. "Any idea how to get there without freezing to death?" He marched toward the mouth of the cave, noting that the storm had died down from its past aggression, but would still be a challenge to traverse. After pondering there options, Chrysalis spoke a single word:

"Trains."

Ozzy looked back at the Changeling, awaiting further elaboration. "The trains that deliver passengers and produce to the Crystal Empire from Appleloosa pass through a jewel formation that is not far from here. We prepare ourselves near the tracks, then as the train approaches, we leap onto one of the cars." A slight smile formed on her face, the idea appearing more and more doable the more that she envisioned it. "The back cars are normally where the passengers luggage is held. If we board there, then the only ponies passing through would be the ones running the locomotive, and that would just require hiding amongst the boxes and carts so as not to be spotted."

Ozzy nodded, the plan sounding as sound as they come. "Alright, I like it. Lead the way, Your Majesty." He gave a mock bow, allowing Chrysalis to walk past. As she did, she turned back toward the cave that had served as her home. With one final sigh, she turned and marched into the cold, Ozzy close behind.

Happy to be leaving that piss-hole of an abode.

Tell me about it. Hopefully wherever we end up has a decent bed.

So we're going to be boarding a train? Just like those old cowboy bandits?

Appears so. I trust Chrysalis, but I won't mind if I have to plug a couple of ponies.

You do that a lot, y'know?

Do what?

I mean you go back and forth between 'Oh, I want to be seen as the good guy!' and 'I don't give a fuck who I kill!'

But isn't that what makes an imperishable dynasty? I want to be a friend to the people, but at the same time, I will butcher them for so much as looking at me wrong.

And you call me a psychopath. You're just a hypocritical piece of shit.

Takes one to know one, jackass.

The sky had turned a dark gray by the time the pair had reached the jewel formation. The storm, whose blistering winds had penetrated them to their very core, had thankfully died down to a light breeze, as well as the snow now being reduced one or two snowflakes at a time. With night nearing, Ozzy and Chrysalis were growing weary as to what may lurk in the snow when the sun descends into the horizon, more-so now that they had abandoned their living arrangements.

To make matters worse, Chrysalis relayed a crucial detail of information concerning Snow Yetis to Ozzy. That information being that although the majority of the Yeti population hunted alone, some banded together and hunted in packs. With that in mind, Ozzy continued to scan around the corners of their current position, rifle gripped firmly in his hands. If a pack of Yetis were to set upon them, he would ensure that he would die kicking, screaming, and covered in one of the beasts' internal organs.

The pair had been sitting in their secured position, an elevated depression in the formation of the giant red jewels, for the past three hours, desperately awaiting the rumbling of an engine in the distance. The sounds that had reached them, however, had been that of roars of various beasts. Predators on the hunt were now reigning across the landscape, tearing at not only each other, but the poor creatures who had been foolish enough to venture out into the approaching night. Checking both ways down the tracks for what seemed like the twentieth time, Ozzy turned back to Chrysalis.

"How often did you say the trains come by? Every few hours or so?" His voice barely above a whisper, so as not to alarm any nearby predators. "That is what the norm seems to be, yes." She leaned back into the jewels, closely inspecting if the formation would be worth anything. "We've been here for almost four hours, and I have yet to see a goddamn train." Ozzy leaned back over the edge, checking for any signs of unnatural movement in the distance.

"Well, I apologize for not memorizing the schedule of the International Locomotive Industry!" She hissed at him, the sound of a Yeti chasing down some unlucky prey in the distance reminding her just how tense the situation was. She hoped that they would not meet the same fate. "It's alright. I just don't want to have to spend the night here. I haven't slept since I wound up in this place." He rubbed his face, momentarily taking his hand away from his rifle. The idea of staying awake through the night whilst surrounded by a plethora of lethal animals did not sit well with the Courier... At least, not again.

As the usual sounds of animals tearing at each other continued, a shrill whistle broke through the cacophonous bluster, followed by the fast rumbling of mechanized wheels blazing through their course. It was distant, but it gave every creature, including the pair nestled into the jewel formation, a moment of pause. Through many years, the animals in the frozen north had learned one thing: the giant, loud machines carried a bounty of screaming, delicious fresh food. The catch was boarding the giant machines and obtaining said food.

Across that frozen plain, innumerable Yetis and other northern predators charged at the train. Claws upon snow, teeth brought to bare, and anyone onboard that train would become an easy meal. That did not come to pass, though, as something peculiar began to take shape: a forcefield, purple and shimmering against the snow, surrounded the train from the inside out. The animals became curious, but did not halt their stampede.

As one starving Yeti charged toward the forcefield, however, he received an unpleasant surprise in the form of electricity charging through his bones. As he was struck, the Yeti was sent flying back towards the embankment of snow he leapt from. Undeterred, the Yetis' kin continually charged into the train in the hopes of knocking it loose from the track, sending it and the passengers inside into the snow.

Yeti after Yeti was sent flying into the snow, all of them still cringing from the electro-shock attack. After regaining their balance, the smart ones decided that the meal that awaited them aboard the locomotive was not worthy of their efforts, and scampered back into the wilderness. The foolhardy ones, however, attempted to give chase to the train once more, only for them to fall face first back into the snow. Their muscles were too frayed from the shock that they were unable to match the speed of the train, and went sulking back to their caves.

This forcefield worried Ozzy. If they even came close to that forcefield, they would more than likely be sent crashing onto the jagged formations. Added to the fact that the voltage used to incapacitate the Yetis would more than likely be fatal to him, Ozzy had little time to concoct a plan to board the train.

That was when he thought of it. Hopefully, she would be able to perform this feat, as their lives depended on it. Turning to Chrysalis, Ozzy spoke. "How good can you perform magic?" He asked, not caring for whispering as the train continued to draw closer. "Normally, I am capable of performing feats of magic that would rival the Sisters of Equestria. In my current state, however, I am unsure of how well I would fare." She looked away from Ozzy. "Why do you ask?"

Ozzy looked back to the train. Time was against them. "If you could either short out that forcefield just long enough for us to hop on the train, or create a forcefield around us to protect us from the electricity, we'd be in business." The rumbling grew closer. The pair would miss their chance if they lingered any longer. "I suppose the former would work. The caster of the forcefield aboard the train could potentially notice us, though." The train entered the jewel formation.

Now or never. Do it.

"Aw, fuck it! I'd rather deal with a pissed off passenger than spend the night out here!"

The next events occurred within seconds of each other. In one moment, Ozzy and Chrysalis were standing atop a rock depression with the train in sight. The next, Ozzy turned to see Chrysalis light up her horn, followed by a green glow surrounding them. A strange tingling feeling enveloped him, followed by the hard impact of landing atop a train car. The current from the purple forcefield was negated by the energy from Chrysalis' field, unable to conduct the current.

Their botched landing almost sent Ozzy over the edge, but Chrysalis was fast enough to reach her hoof out and catch him, saving him from injury or even death. Slowly crawling toward the back of the car, Ozzy let himself down onto the connecting platform. After Chrysalis was down, Ozzy opened the door to the caboose, hand on his hip just in case any pony needed silencing.

As he opened the door, there was a commotion inside. Boxes toppled, luggage came crashing to the floor, and something was scurrying about inside the cabin. Opening the door enough so that he could fit his head in, Ozzy peeked around to see who or what had caused the disturbance. He unsheathed Blood Nap, mentally steeling himself for whatever is ahead. As he scanned the room, he removed his sunglasses to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

Another stowaway, perhaps?

A minute passed before Ozzy fully opened the door, utilizing the glow from Chrysalis' forcefield to catch the stowaway. As the car bounced about on the tracks, the pair stepped into the cabin, intent on catching the culprit. Ozzy shut the door behind them, the car apparently being sound-proofed as the silence was now deafening.

Chrysalis stepped forward, dropping the forcefield she had been casting, her eyes adjusting immediately to the dim atmosphere. Ozzy, however, had a more difficult time as he tiptoed past box after box, weary of startling whomever would be residing in there. The sound of their breathing perforated the quiet, neither of them daring to speak until they had found the other passenger. If they had been discovered as soon as they had boarded, their chances of success would rely on finding the witness.

Around boxes, in the rafters, under unused seats. Ozzy and Chrysalis had checked everywhere, anxiety creeping into them as the thought of the third passenger escaping and alerting the conductor invaded their thoughts. Ozzy was about to call it quits, until he heard something hit the ground directly to his left.

Looking down, he saw what appeared to be water hit the wooden floor. The droplet had dissipated into the plank, but Ozzy knew exactly where this culprit was hiding. Craning his head towards the ceiling, he found two oval eyes with green iris' staring right back at him. Whatever was hiding on the ceiling was panicking, if the erratic twitching of its tail was anything to go by. Ozzy, for his part, was not amused.

"Hey, Chrysalis. I found it," He called out, his voice breaking the silence.

Chrysalis, who was rummaging through a rather expansive makeup case, walked over to the Courier. He pointed toward the ceiling, indicating where this third passenger was hiding. As she looked up, finding those same round eyes staring back, the creature nearly lost its grip on the ceiling, but managed to catch itself before falling to the floor. Chrysalis was tempted to laugh at how foolish the creature looked, but settled instead for an uninterested stare.

Ozzy stood on his toes, reaching for the mystery passenger. Grabbing it by its tail, and using some force, Ozzy managed to pull the creature down, now holding it upside down in his grasp. Now with a decent view of it, the creature appeared close to a fire gecko, minus the dull color scheme. Ozzy noted that the color scheme it did portray, composed of purple and green, had no other advantages other than that of a potential sociability factor. Lifting it up to eye level, Ozzy spoke in a low tone, one which sent shivers down the other creatures young spine. "Alright. Who are you?"

Seconds passed, and the lizard did nothing. No words, no blinks, barely any breathing. Obviously, it was petrified of the odd duo, but even more so when this gigantic ape tore him down from the ceiling. Truly paralyzed with fear, the tiny purple lizard felt his head begin to swim, shortly before passing out. Ozzy groaned, gently laying the lizard down to the floor.

Good fuckin' job, you. You scared the poor thing to death!

Not the time right now, asshole.

Chrysalis stared at the lizard, who now lay unconscious on the floor. "You realize that this may have just escalated into a hostage situation, right?" She looked to him, a frown growing on her face. Ozzy gently kicked the lizard, irritated at the fact that everything that inhabited this world was apparently so easily frightened. As Ozzy kicked the lizard, a small book fell from an invisible pocket on the creatures body.

How the hell does that thing have built-in pockets?

Reaching down, Ozzy picked up the book and began inspecting it. The title struck him as a little childish, but estimating from the size of the lizard and its features, he determined that this was more than likely an infant, if not a toddler.

Chrysalis peered over to view the book. "What is this? Some sort of journal of this tiny salamander?" Ozzy quickly flipped through the book, glancing over the entries and words. "You wouldn't be wrong. This book is this little thing's journal," He replied, curiosity slowly forming within the both of them. "What does it say on the front? What is his name?" Ozzy flipped back to the cover, quickly reading the cover.

"The Journal of Spike the Dragon."

Dragon. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

So, we're now holding this 'dragon' hostage.

No, we're not. We're simply not allowing it to escape from this cabin until we reach our destination, and after that, we're going to coerce him into keeping our activities a secret.

Did I tell you that you make no fucking sense? First, it's "Let's be good guys!" followed by "I'll kill 'em all!" now followed by a goddamn hostage situation! You're supposed to be this brilliant strategist, and then you have no plan whatsoever! How did you manage to bring not only the Mojave, but THE FUCKING LEGION to heel when this is how you act?!

I have an answer for you.

Believe me, I would looooooove to hear it!

If I don't know what the hell I'm doing, then my enemies can't possibly anticipate my actions.

... You really are insane.

Tell me about it.

The Dragons' Words

The only movement emanating from the cabin was the bouncing of the car as it sped along the track, and the pacing of Chrysalis in between toppled luggage containers. Ozzy, for his part, was resting between two hefty luggage cases, both making for comfortable make-shift pillows. After this 'Spike' had passed out, Ozzy had been contemplating reading through the journal. In the event that the dragon would awake, he would surely be upset that the alien that had scared him beyond belief was reading through his most private thoughts.

Chrysalis had set to work robbing the passengers of the train for any valuables they may have been carrying. It would make them look bad if someone happen to traverse to the final car, of course, but having even a minuscule amount of bits for any supplies would surely be worth it. Bits, exquisite pieces of jewelry, watches, gold, anything the Changeling could abscond with once they disembarked from the train. Ozzy was no stranger to theft, but the thought of not only being viewed as a thief, let alone a hostile alien, would surely make matters more complicated if the pair was caught.

Their loot was transferred to one of the spare Yeti skin bags that Ozzy was carrying. The jingle of stolen goods was enthralling to Chrysalis, but also reminded her that in order to do anything with these goods, she would have to hunt down a decent fence. Stolen valuables could not be sold to decent shop keepers, as she was certain.

Spike, still out cold, was propped up against the back wall in clear sight. If he happened to awake before the train reached Appleloosa, then the duo would have to use... Other means to keep the dragon quiet. Ozzy was more keen on convincing the dragon to stay quiet, as his so called 'plan' of being a peaceful alien was falling to pieces around him. Showing up to a new planet and murdering one of the inhabitants, plus theft, would no doubt harm his reputation.

After another hour of being aboard the train, the pair had devoured what was left of the Yeti meat. Once their meal had ended, Ozzy was still left with the prospect of reading through the journal. Normally, this would not be a problem for the Courier, as any information was viewed as good information, but should the dragon discover that he had read through the book, it would not end well.

That was when Ozzy reached a conclusion: he was fucked either way.

You might as well do it. You could always lie to him if he asks.

True. Plus, if there's anything good in here, I could blackmail him with it.

Beautiful. You have your moments when you really live up to your reputation.

With that thought, Ozzy flipped open to the first page, and began reading.

Journal,

Alright, this is a little weird for me. Twilight bought me this journal as a birthday present. She said that it would be a good way to center my thoughts and practice on my writing. I suppose I can't argue with that. I've just never had anything to really record my thoughts in. I don't know how often I will be writing, but I guess any writing is good.

Oh, I should also introduce myself. My name is Spike, and I am nine years old. I live with my big sister, Twilight, in the library in Ponyville, Equestria. We grew up together in Canterlot (the capitol of Equestria), and moved to Ponyville when Princess Celestia (who is Twilight's mentor) told her that she needed to stop being anti-social and go make friends. When we did, we met all of these really nice ponies, minus one of them who I really cannot stand at all *cough cough* Rainbow Dash *cough*.

After we show up, Twilight goes on this huge adventure to save Princess Celestia when her younger sister, Princess Luna, shows up and kidnaps her. Then Twilight goes on another adventure, and then another adventure, and then ANOTHER ADVENTURE. All while I'm stuck here in the library, dusting books.

I have some friends, thankfully. When I'm not organizing the library, I hang out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom, as well as some others. They're all really nice, though they can be a tad annoying at times. The one pony I try to hang around with the most is one of Twilight's friends, Rarity. She is one of the most beautiful ponies that I have ever met, and she is by far the nicest. I like the rest of them, too, but I like Rarity just a little more.

I can't think of anything else to write right now, so I guess I'll end it here. I don't know if I should name this journal as that kinda seems like a mare-ish thing to do, so I may just keep it at Journal. I hope that works.

Spike

Journal,

I haven't written in here in a very long time, and believe me, I have a lot to write about. First and foremost:

I messed up. I messed up really bad.

It was my birthday recently. Everypony got me gifts, all of which I was extremely grateful for. But then something started happening. I started getting bigger, the more things I took from ponies. It didn't even matter what it was, I just kept getting bigger and bigger. Twilight took me to a doctor, although I can't really remember what he said. Those next few hours were kind of a blur to me. I do remember this, though: I got really big, and started wrecking everything. The Wonderbolts were called in, and if I wasn't the cause of the problem, I'd be very excited.

That wasn't the case, though. They were called in to stop me, and I apparently trapped them on a mountanside. I was out of control. I was a giant, greedy monster. I almost hurt ponies. I almost hurt Twilight.

I almost hurt Rarity.

Oh Faust, I almost hurt her. If I had, I don't think I would be able to look the rest of them in the eye. I can barely look at Twilight without feeling incredibly guilty. She's told me before that it's ok and that I didn't realize what I was doing, but I still feel horrible about it. Half of the town is destroyed, and it's all because of me.

Worse than that, I think Rarity realized how I feel about her. The only problem with that is that she shot me down. After everything I've done for her, all of the hours that I've put in to help her, every menial little task. I've done so much for her, and she can't even bother to return my love? I feel horrible. I feel so many things when I think like that. Worst of all, I feel angry towards her, which I really don't want to do.

But I can't help but think about it. It seemed as though she knew beforehand what she was going to say, like she planned it out. That begs the question: had she known this entire time? Have I just been cheap labor to her?

Has she just been using me?

I hope that that isn't the case. I don't want to know what I'd do if that was the truth. I'd hope that I'm actually her friend, and that I mattered to her more than just a gem-detector and ponnequin.

Apart from that, a bunch of other stuff has happened. I'll give a brief overview of what's happened: the library got a new owl assistant, we attended the Grand Galloping Gala, an ancient God of Chaos was awoke, but Twilight and her friends defeated him, and... That's all I can think of right now. Huh. I kinda feel a little better after that.

Alright, I'm out. Later.

Spike

Journal,

I am happy right where I'm at.

Again, it's been a while since I've written in you, mainly because I store you in my basket and forget about you for a few months. I have a lot to write about, as per the usual. First off, teenage dragons are a bunch of jerks. The Great Dragon Migration was a few days ago, and I wanted to be with my people, but Twilight and her friends wouldn't allow it. I went anyway, then found out that those dragons are just mean and jerks.

That's when I realized: I like Ponyville. I like Twilight, her friends, my friends, and everyone else. Still can't stand Rainbow Dash, though. Sure, I may act cordial toward her, but just her bravado and her voice and her face and her stupidity I swear to Faust that I want nothing more than to just watch her burn alive.

Okay, that was dark of me. But every time that she opens her mouth, it's just about how awesome she is or how stupid or dorky something else is or whatever. She really is insufferable to me, and I'm so close to losing it with her.

Again, a lot of stuff has happened. I think that I'm starting to get over my little crush on Rarity. She may be beautiful and elegant, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't reciprocate my love and uses me only as a pin cushion. I don't really feel like writing about all of it, to be honest. I'm writing about the here and now. My feelings, my thoughts, my journal. AND IF ANYONE READS THIS, I SWEAR TO FAUST THAT I WILL DESTROY YOU.

I'm kidding on the destroying part. I will be very upset, though.

Alright, I think I'm about done. Later.

Spike

Journal,

I am the coolest dragon right now.

I SAVED THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE. Me! Spike, the dragon who's only good for keeping the library in top shape! I DID SOMETHING FOR ONCE! Granted, Twilight and those other ones did most of the work, but WHO'S THE BEST? Who's the best?

I'll give you a hint: he's PETITE, not SHORT, purple, and green. Out of guesses?

It's ME!

Oh, yeah, and a wedding happened and some other stuff I don't even CARE right now! I'm a hero in that empire! Not Twilight or Rarity or that Rainbow cunt Rainbow Dash! If Twilight didn't need me at the library because she can't uphold that place to save her life, I think I'd move to the Crystal Empire. I'm a celebrity there, foal! I feel SO GOOD right now!

That's it for me, Journal. I'll see you later!

Spike, the Greatest Dragon in Equestria

Journal,

I would like to correct my last journal entry. I am not the greatest dragon in Equestria. Far from it.

I AM THE GREATEST DRAGON TO EVER EXIST PERIOD.

Saving the Equestrian Games. Saving Twilight and those other peons in the comic book. SAVING PONYVILLE FROM THE MAD DESIGNER. Oh, I am so great. Seriously, Twilight and her stupid wings can't even compare. I should have more statues built of me, WHERE'S MY RECOGNITION FOR MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS. No, it's only reserved for these idiots that do menial things. Every single one of them pales in comparison to me.

Of course, I can't let them realize it. No, to them I'm still little Spike with the cutest little chubby cheeks. Faust, that was embarrassing. I can't let anyone find this. I play the part so well of the helpless little baby dragon, and this is the only damning piece of evidence that could get me in serious trouble. I can't stand any of these other ponies, but I don't want to be exiled. I don't want to lose Twilight. I can't lose these ponies.

Intolerable as they are, they are family. At least, some of them.

Still hate Rainbow Dash.

The more I read past entries, the more I realize how much I've changed. I went from being a loving little dragon to... This. I'm still a little dragon, unfortunately, but I just... Hate ponies. I didn't think that I was capable of hating anything. Now, though... I just hate a lot of things. Rainbow Dash and everything about her, Pinkie Pie and her overabundance of energy, Applejack and her stupid accent, and Rarity. How she used me.

I even hate how Twilight has left me by the wayside. She goes off onto all of these adventures, and I'm stuck here. Alone. Though, I have been talking a lot with Scootaloo lately. She is one of the more tolerable ponies, apart from the rest. She still has her drawbacks, but she does treat me nicely.

Plus... She is kinda cute. Alright, I did not just write that. Who am I kidding, I did. Whatever.

That's about it, too. Later, Journal.

Spike

As Ozzy sat there reading the journal, his view of the tiny dragon began to change. What was once viewed as a harmless little vermin was now a harmless little vermin with some major abandonment and superiority issues. This was perfect for blackmail, though. Spike even states that he would be cast out should this come to light. The question was whether or not Ozzy could use this dragon to his advantage.

As Ozzy contemplated his options, Chrysalis came and sat next to him atop a rounded luggage piece. She had the feeling that the Courier was reasoning out his options, and she was curious to know. "Have you found anything of worth in that book?" She adjusted herself, waiting for an answer. Ozzy snapped back to reality upon hearing her voice. "Hell yeah. This dragon has some serious issues, and this would be perfect if he decided to try and oust us." Ozzy looked back to the dragon, and found that he had slid from his upright position to now laying flat on the floor.

"This kid could even help us. We could try and convince him to work with us, and if he refuses, then we turn to blackmail."

There's the crafty bastard that I know and love.

Chrysalis slowly nodded in agreement with his plan. "That depends on whether or not he awakens before we reach Appleloosa. Regardless, I support that idea." She laid flat across the luggage, turning away from Ozzy. "Now, this has been an exhausting day, and I need my rest. Goodnight, Ozzy."

"Yeah, goodnight," He half-heartedly responded. Soon, quiet snores emanated from the Changeling, and Ozzy was alone with his thoughts.

There still looks to be quite some pages left. Care to read some more?

Absolutely.

With that, Ozzy continued reading.

Journal,

Well, one good thing came out of Twilight being a princess. We got some sweet new digs, after our old library had been blown up. Eh, that place was old anyway. But back to the point, this new castle that we're in is basically a giant gem tree. I'm not saying that I tried to eat it, but... My jaw hurts.

Anyway, Twilight and her friends went and had another big adventure AGAIN. Leaving me here AGAIN. Alone. This place gets kind of creepy at night. Apart from that, I've been spending a lot of time with Scootaloo lately. I know the one time I wrote in here that I was in denial about her being cute, but I'm willing to admit it now: I like Scootaloo. I think that she's cute and pretty and when she laughs it makes me feel really good.

Also, some weird stuff has been happening lately, and this is something that I've talked to Twilight about and she says I'm just growing up. The other day, I woke up and... Spike Jr. was sticking straight out. I didn't know what was happening, but I asked Twilight and she said that it was natural. I'm 'just becoming an adult', which is fantastic, but I didn't know things started happening with my... Thing. I don't even know a good name for it. Spike Jr.? Sounds a little juvenile. The actual term for it, 'penis', sounds a little dumb. I'll report on that later.

The weird thing is that it not only does that in the morning, but also when I sometimes think about Scootaloo. Mainly the other day when she dropped something underneath a table, and she turned around to pick it up, and bent over. I saw EVERYTHING, and it very nearly stuck out right there. The even weirder thing, though, was that it almost happens around a lot of other ponies. Fluttershy, Mayor Mare, Celestia... Even Twilight. I don't know, I think of them doing things to me and vice versa and then them doing things to themselves and each other.

Speaking of Spike Jr., I'm looking at him right now. Even writing about it makes it hard. I wonder... If I wanted to do things with other ponies, does it only have to be with one pony? Is it legal to do things with more than one? The Royal Sisters, Fluttershy and Twilight...

Faust, I'm getting off track. I have some more interesting news. Twilight has gone to Canterlot to see Princess Celestia, and some important Minotaur ambassador will apparently be there. I think I'll ask Twilight what's going on when she gets back. Apart from that, I'm out of stuff to talk about. Later, Journal.

Spike

Journal,

Well, I heard a word that describes a penis very well, and I think I'll use it from now on. 'Dick'. Blunt, to the point. I like it. Enough of that, more news. Twilight came back from Canterlot, though she wouldn't give anything up on what happened with the Minotaur ambassador, only saying that it was 'very serious'. Dammit, I need a better way of finding out information.

That's another thing I noticed about myself: I feel like I've gone from 'I'm the best' to 'I want to win'. I'm not reveling in myself as much as I used to, though I still feel pretty cocky about myself sometimes. Puberty, maybe? I don't know. What I do know is that Twilight, her friends, and I are headed to the Crystal Empire. Twilight said that Celestia also told her that a vacation may help her out mentally, as well as give me an excuse to get away from this damned castle.

We leave tomorrow morning. I can't wait to return to the kingdom where I'm heralded as a hero. Also, I'm feeling particularly daring for some reason. I want to try something, anything new. Something dangerous and edgy. I'll report back on that.

I'm out.

Spike

Journal,

The whole dangerous thing paid off, but I paid the price. On our way to the Crystal Empire, I decided to try some stunts on top of the train car. I almost fell off, but Twilight caught me. I don't think I've heard her scold me that much since we lived back in Canterlot. She was pissed, mainly because when I almost fell, one of those snow Yetis almost ate me. As if, I could take one of those things on!

Twilight and the others don't think so, though. They all said they were either disappointed in me or furious with me. I'm surprised, to be honest. You'd think that at least one of them would notice that I'm a little twisted in the head. Either that, or I really am that good of a thespian. Regardless, we made it to the Crystal Empire without any problems. I just want to relax and potentially sign a few autographs from my adoring fans. I will report back after we leave.

Spike

Journal,

Interesting news. Twilight did some digging on snow Yetis and their habits. Apparently, even though she was meant to be relaxing on this vacation, she managed to find out why so many of them have been seen in this frozen area. From official reports with the Empire, and some first hand accounts from travelers who have gone hoof-to-claw with one of these bad stallions, the snow Yetis are naturally attracted to Dragon eggs. Why are so many of them popping up then, when the population has apparently tripled in the past few months?

More and more dragons have set up shop in these parts. Thus, the eggs are attracting the Yetis. The more eggs they eat, the more their mating increases. The more their mating increases, the more deadly Yetis there are wandering around the frozen wasteland. Why the dragons have gone from their volcanic homeland to this tundra is beyond me. All I know is that the problem is getting so bad that the guards at the Empire have been working around the clock to keep the Yetis out.

My guess for the dragons, though, is that something is happening back in The Edge. Dragons don't pick up and move at the drop of a hat. They've been there since Jevrath claimed the Maroon Precipice however many years ago. They could be refugees from a civil war, or just looking to expand their territory. Either way, they're causing problems, and I want to find out what's going on.

We're coming up on my favorite part of the train ride back. This gigantic jewel formation in the middle of this deep freeze. The conductor warned all of us about this, saying that the Yetis get extremely aggressive when they see trains. Twilight said she'll protect the train with some forcefield. I hope I'll get to see these things zap like a bug on a fly trap, but knowing Twilight, she'll only wound the Yetis, not kill them. Forget this, I'm going to the back. I've had my fill of happy talk with these ponies. I need to brood.

I made it to the back, although I'm not sure what's happening. The forcefield went up, but I think I felt something hit the train. I hope one of those things didn't get o-

The entry ended there, apparently ending when Ozzy began to open the door.

This kid is our potential ticket in.

Ozzy looked back to Spike, who had seemingly drifted off into a more peaceful slumber. Should the worst come to pass and Ozzy being forced to use intimidation to achieve his goals, this would be the means to do it. Everything written within the journal was just another wound that could potentially be opened upon the young Dragon.

That is, of course, if the Drake did not play nice. Should he even wake up before Ozzy and Chrysalis exited from the train, he would just store those secrets away for when they could be used at a later date. For now, though, Ozzy knew that they still had quite a long journey ahead of them. He wished desperately for some shut eye, but should Spike awaken from his apparent comatose state, Ozzy would want to be there to greet him, along with Blood Nap.

With that, Ozzy settled in to watch the landscape fly past the windows, eager to return to the desert climate which he was acclimated to.

I have a question.

Shoot.

It's been a while since you got on the train. Don't you think if someone was paying attention with that forcefield, they would've investigated all of the cars? Who's to say they're not coming for you right now?

... Fuck.

A Different Monster

The train ride had been taking longer than expected.

Ozzy was unable to guess how many hours it had been, although those hours were spent in a semi-peaceful state of blankly staring at the changing landscapes. Once that wore off, Ozzy unsheathed Blood Nap from his hip, and engaged in a rousing game of Five Finger Fillet. Once Ozzy expertly avoided hitting all of his fingers, but barely scratched his pinkie (he had always had trouble toward the end), he decided to rummage through the parcels and luggage of the passengers.

Chrysalis was still out cold atop the rounded suitcase she had unceremoniously fallen asleep on, and Spike was occasionally twitching from his spot against the wall in the cabin. The only movement from within was caused by the Courier, who was at work attempting to garner more information from letters, addresses, as well as personal possessions. One such item which Ozzy had taken a liking to was an incredibly ornate silver letter opener, with the words 'My Star Pupil' etched into the handle. Along the handle lay several sapphires, all of which gave the impression that the owner of the letter opener was incredibly well-off.

With his past thoughts of how being viewed as a thief would be a detriment to him coming to mind, Ozzy went against his more wholesome nature and slid the letter opener into a pocket on the inside of his duster.

I am literally drowning in your hypocrisy.

With that possession claimed as his, another thought occurred to Ozzy, one which gave him pause.

Why hasn't anyone gone to check the rest of the cars?

Looking towards the door, Ozzy imagined the scenario of a security detail surrounding the train car, forcing him and his companion into a holding cell. Ozzy was not a fan of being taken prisoner, as his experience in the Sierra Madre reminded him. Moving deftly toward the car door, he looked through the window in an attempt to catch any patrolling conductor off guard. Fortunately, the connecting platform was void of life, and Ozzy set to open the door and inspect the rest of the train.

As most of the cars either carried more luggage or random assortments of sleeping ponies, all of which were unaware of the Courier, who crept throughout the shadows, never once making a sound other than light breathing. It was not until Ozzy reached a locked door that he came to a halt. Peeking through the glass, he could see a wall directly in front of him, appearing to be a divider wall.

The sound of the engine as well as the howling winds would render listening through the door impossible. However, if Ozzy could manage to abscond into the car without detection, perhaps he would make off with some valuable information. Having no other options, he picked the lock on the door and slid the door open as quietly as he could. Thankfully, the inhabitants of the car did not seem to notice the roaring winds, apparently more focused on a heated discussion between them.

The layout of the car seemed to fulfill Ozzy's purpose well enough. Walls partitioned off most of the car, as the beds and entrance were separated by a divider wall, seemingly for the purpose of preserving heat within the car. Opposite of the entrance area was an ornate mirror, held by a golden gilded frame. Upon further inspection, the entire car appeared to be designed for an occupant who could afford to buy a luxury car, if the elegant designs and furniture were any indication.

Returning his focus to the conversation, Ozzy peeked around the divider wall. Huddled around an old-fashioned oil lamp lay six ponies, all of whom were frantically whispering to one another. The dark atmosphere hid most of their features, but the light from the lamp shone their faces against the darkness. Two had their backs to him, two only had their profiles on display from Ozzy's position, and the other two were facing directly toward Ozzy.

Their faces all portrayed a sense of urgency, although Ozzy took a moment to study them. The two that had their back to him both apparently had long hair, one shade pink and the other a dull blonde. The blonde one, oddly enough, was wearing a Stetson cowboy hat.

Nice hat, Calamity Jane. Who died and made her Pest of the West?

The two whose profiles were facing Ozzy were polar opposites, in his opinion. One had a long, purple mane, her fur color was a sheer alabaster white, and she also possessed a horn. Ozzy deduced that this was an average unicorn. The other could only be described as the living incarnation of the color pink. Hair, fur, everything. Ozzy was not used to such a bright color palette from one living organism. The final two, once again of an opposing color scheme, seemed to be staring at the other with an aggravated glare. The pony on the right was a light cyan color, and possessed every color of the rainbow for her hair, as well as purple eyes.

Insert generic gay joke here.

The pony on the left had a a vivid purple for her fur color, her hair appeared to be a darker violet with a pink streak splitting it, and also possessed a horn. A nice mix of diversity, so it seems.

Focusing his hearing on their conversation, what was being said could only be described as hushed and worried panicking. That was silenced, however, as the purple unicorn spoke.

"Everypony, listen to me! We can't just go barging through the rest of the train, waking up everypony else in the process!" Her tone implied that she was the apparent leader of this little group. The cyan one spoke up.

"If somethin' is on the back of the train, we need to go back their and kick it off! If we don't do anything, we're all in danger! What if one of those Yetis hopped on the back?"

One with a heavy southern accent, a good guess would be that it would be the one wearing the stetson, spoke.

"Twilight, ah'm surprised that you don't wanna go back there. Last time ah checked, Spike was fixing ta be by his lonesome. What if whatever is back there is putting him at risk?" Twilight frowned, thinking of her number one assistant. "I know that he's back there, but we need time to mount a proper defense. Besides, if it was a Yeti, wouldn't we have heard the screams of all of the other passengers? I say we wait until we reach the next stop, then surround that car."

A timid voice spoke up, one that was barely above a whisper. Ozzy had to lean in just to hear what this other pony was saying.

"Twilight, I just want Spike to be okay. He's not able to look after himself just yet. We should at least go back and make sure that he's alright." Nodding and agreeing humming followed the voice. The alabaster pony voiced her opinion.

"I agree that we wait until we reach the next stop to professionally handle whatever is aboard the train, but I also do fear for the safety of Spikey-Wikey. Maybe just one of us could sneak back there and bring him up here."

Her voice had an old-money accent. She sounded as one of those holier-than-thou types that irked Ozzy to no end. Twilight looked toward the group. "Alright. I'll go back there and check up on him." Just as she was about to stand, the pink one who had been silent until this point bounced from her position and spoke.

"No, Twilight! I got this one! I'll make sure Spike is okay, while the rest of you stay nice and cozy up here!"

Definitely full of energy, that one. Ozzy could only assume that she was the Pinkie Pie that Spike wrote about in his journal. Twilight looked to Pinkie, letting her shoulders droop. "Are you sure? I don't mind going back there, Pinkie." Pinkie, for her part, was still bouncing in place. "Of course, Twilight! I'll be in and out in a jiffy!" With that, Pinkie disappeared into a fine cloud of confetti and dirt. As the rest of the group stared at where the pink pony once bounced, Ozzy decided that it was time for him to return to the caboose.

Past the slumbering ponies and random assortment of luggage, Ozzy barely made a sound. Moving through another pony-less car, he turned back to ensure that he was not being followed. Finding that he was, he continued to the rear of the train. It took everything in his willpower not to jump in amazement at what he saw. Standing before him in the center of the car was the pink pony herself. She stood there glaring at Ozzy, her only movement being keeping herself stable as the train jostled.

Ozzy's hand crept toward his hip, his full intention being to put a bullet in this pony's head. He reached, but stopped when she spoke.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

They stared, Ozzy not being a stranger to intense showdowns, pitting one's will against the others. "Why not?" His tone was calm, yet his eyes never left her. "If you shoot me, that'll alert everyone on the train. Plus, you'll be branded a murderer, and you won't last a second against my friends if you kill me."

Just kill her and toss her off the side of the train. What's one more body to the pile?

Pinkie had a point, though. Ozzy knew that his best bet would be to win her over using his charming demeanor.

Yeah, that's a fucking riot.

Fuck you.

Attempting to comply, Ozzy brought his hands to rest hanging at his sides. "Alright, you've got my attention. What do you want?" The pony did not blink once. Her gaze showed that this situation needed her full attention, and she would not leave until it was resolved. "I want to make sure that Spike is okay. I know that you're back there with him. I don't know you, and I'd like to think that we could be friends, but I will make this perfectly clear," She slowly started walking toward him. "If you hurt him in any way, shape or form," She stopped directly in front of him, "I will not hesitate to do very unkind things to you. Got that?" She punctuated with a hard hoof jab into his leg.

Ozzy, for his part, knew that he would be screwed if she decided to turn on him. He was in an incredibly unfavorable situation, and he knew that the only way to resolve it would be to be calm. "Alright, pony,"

"My name is Pinkie." She cut him off, her voice resembling a growl.

"Pinkie," he knelt down so that he was at eye level with her. "It appears that we have a mutual destruction agreement between us." Seeing her puzzled look, Ozzy explained. "You're right. You don't know me. You don't know what I can do. I promise you this," He leaned toward her. "As long as you don't say a word about my presence here, I will not slaughter your kin."

Pinkie stared at the man in befuddlement. "That's not what I meant. I'll tell everypony if you hurt him." Ozzy laughed, adding to the pony's growing fear. "You don't get it, do you? If you tell everyone that I'm here, I'll have no choice but to kill all of you." There was a glint in his eyes, one that was unsettling to Pinkie. "Y-you couldn't do that. My friends, the Princesses, everypony will be against you. You won't stand a chance." Her voice began wavering, uncertain of her odds of success. Bringing his hand up, Pinkie was startled upon feeling a sharp blade at her throat. She stared into his eyes, feeling her will grow weaker.

They stayed there, one frozen from her mounting fear, the other to drive his point home. Ozzy slowly dragged the blade across Pinkie's throat, making her wince. Pinkie could feel the tension in the car increase, forcing her to mentally prepare an escape plan. A grin formed on Ozzy's face, reminding Pinkie of her 'Pinkamena' incident. She was used to smiles, be it happy or forced, but this smile was unsettling. This smile was born from a sadistic creature, one who thoroughly enjoyed his profession. Ozzy felt something rising within him, something that he had not felt in quite some time.

Silence permeated the air, only interrupted by Pinkie's unintentional gasps of surprise every time the blade made contact with her skin. "You think I haven't had to kill an entire nation? I've killed one, conquered another, and am in the process of conquering a third. A land with ponies under my thumb would be interesting." His voice grew calmer, with a hint of joviality. Pinkie knew that he was enjoying this. She couldn't just let him walk all over her.

She wouldn't.

"Listen, you. I-"

"You can call me the Courier." He cut her off.

She continued. "Alright, Courier. You may be big and scary, but I won't let you hurt my friends. I wo-" She was cut off as Ozzy tackled her onto the ground. Pinkie did her best to kick and bite where she could, but she was no match for the well-trained survivor. They wrestled for control, but ultimately ended with Ozzy on top of Pinkie. He held the blade to her throat, but Pinkie noticed something different about this Courier.

His eyes were wider, and resembled a feral animal. His breathing was rapid, shallow. His left eye twitched, as well as his whole upper torso. The sly grin transformed into a manic smile. What was the most startling, however, was the change in his voice.

"Did you really think you could just walk out?"

Have at it.

Loud. Growling. Sneering.

Absolutely terrifying.

The Courier stood, grabbing Pinkie by the tail. He swung her from her position on the floor to against a wall. Pinkie could have sworn that she had broken several ribs from that. From there, he smashed her on the floor again. She was certain that she had a concussion at that point. After she made impact, he grabbed her by the back of the head, marching toward one of the windows as he did. Once he reached it, he slammed her face-first into the glass. Cold air mixed with broken glass nearly knocked Pinkie out, but she unfortunately stayed conscious.

The Courier threw her to the ground, watching her writhe in agony. Blood dripped from her face, and she was more than certain that she had several hospital-worthy injuries.

"You know, I normally take a backseat on these kinds of things... However, I really just wanted to let off some steam."

Before Pinkie could reflexively curl into a ball, the Courier sprinted forward and swung his boot toward the pony. As his boot made solid connection with her jaw, Pinkie splayed out across the floor, pain coursing through her body. Hoping beyond hope that he would have mercy on her, the Courier landed on top of her, spreading her limbs apart. Pinkie could tell that this encounter was heading towards a place that she never wanted to visit.

"I'm assuming by my actions as well as 'letting off steam', you know what's about to happen, right?"

Pinkie could barely acknowledge the Courier, as she was too focused on the agony that played throughout her body. Surprised that she was still conscious, the Courier slid his hand down toward his pants zipper. Hearing the zipper only increased the misery within Pinkie, as she was completely defenseless against him. Leaning down, Goat whispered in her ear.

"Bite the pillow, Pinkie. I'm going in dry."

Dizziness. That was an unusual thing for Ozzy to feel.

As Ozzy came to, all of the events within the train car came rushing back. Strangely enough, he did not have the usual sense of sympathy that accompanied one of Goats' tirades. He found himself lying on the floor of the car, blinking in an attempt to clear his vision. Slowly getting to his feet, Ozzy found Pinkie lying on the ground as well. To say she had seen better days would be an understatement. Walking over to her, he performed a quick inspection of her well being.

Broken jaw, what felt to be five broken ribs, gashes across her face... Blood stained in between her legs.

Fuck.

Like it? I made it all by myself.

Pinkie would need a few months in the hospital to recover from this trauma. The psychological scars, however, may never heal.

Just how I like my women: unwilling, and leaving them mentally scarred for life.

Knowing that the odds of Goat fabricating a cover story are slim, Ozzy attempted to wake the unconscious pony. With a few light slaps to the face, the pony began to stir. As she shook her head to clear her vision, her eyes focused on Ozzy. She began hyperventilating, a familiar sense of dread filling her being. Quickly devising a plan, Ozzy spoke. "Do you want it to be worse?" His question made Pinkie shake her head in panic. "Then listen to me: you got back there, you found a Yeti, beat it, tossed it off and made sure that Spike is ok." He ran his left hand over her battered stomach. "You also got the shit kicked out of you. Sound fair?" To add insult to injury, Ozzy flashed her his showman smile, adding to the horror of the situation.

"M-monster." Pinkie whispered, blood seeping from her mouth.

As she said this, Ozzy brought down Blood Nap straight through her hoof, easily slicing through her skin and bone. Pinkie cried out in pain, followed by whimpering sniffles. "Do. We. Have. A. Deal?" Ozzy punctuated every word by twisting the blade in her hoof, as Pinkie squirmed on the floor.

"Y-yes! We have a deal!" Her voice trailed off into sobbing. Ozzy placed his free hand on her hoof, and pulled Blood Nap from her limb. He stood, beginning to march for the door. Before he reached it, through her racking sobs, Pinkie spoke. "What are you? Why were there two of you?" The fur underneath her eyes was stained with blood and tears. Without turning back, Ozzy answered.

"I'm the Courier. Never forget that."

With that, Ozzy exited the car, leaving Pinkie to walk back to her friends with her injuries and shattered spirit.

That got pretty heated back there.

Yeah, it did. How did it feel?

Felt good to be let off of my chain, for once. We should do that more often.

I don't think so. I'm surprised I let you go like that, to be honest.

Alright. Well, you'll potentially not only be labeled as a thief or murderer, now. You can add rapist to that list! Yay!

Yeah. Great. There goes my plan of being seen as the good guy.

Ah, but it's so much more fun to be a villain. You get a cape! Come on. Chicks dig the cape.

Shut up.

Also, doesn't it seem weird how she knew what your gun was?

... She did. I had never seen her before, yet she knew that I was able to kill her from that distance.

Something tells me that she knows more than she lets on. Keep an eye on her.

Can do.

Opportunities

Goddamn, I need a nap.

As Ozzy traversed the train back to the caboose, his thoughts were drawn to the event which he had allowed to occur. Being seen as a thief would be troublesome enough, but a rapist? That was never a positive for ones' reputation. As he contemplated on how to not only keep Pinkie from telling her tale but as well as how to spin the story if it did read public ears, Ozzy opened the door to the car where he left his companion. Chrysalis had awoken, and was happily chewing on the remnants of Yeti meat. Ozzy stepped in, and shut the door behind him.

"Ozzy, I was worried as to where you had run off to. What happened?" After she had finished chewing, Chrysalis greeted him in a rather cheery manner, unusual to her normal demeanor. Ozzy, for his part, silently trudged over to the makeshift chair which he had assembled from spare luggage. Even from this distance, Chrysalis could tell that the man was deep in thought on some matter or another. Not knowing how else to make the man talk, she levitated a scrap of meat over to him, which Ozzy accepted without a word.

Are we going to tell her?

Maybe. I have to do some information digging.

"Chrysalis, what's the usual punishment for crimes around here?" He asked, looking to the Changeling. Chrysalis was caught off guard from the sudden question, and grew weary as to why that question had been asked in the first place. "Why do you ask, Ozzy?" He took a bite of meat, looking out toward the rising sun on the horizon. "I'm just curious. We're both thieves, and I want to know what kind of trouble we may get in to."

Seemingly satisfied with his question, but repulsed just in the slightest as he spoke with his mouth full, Chrysalis thought back to her days of Queendom. All of the laws which she enacted, all of the laws that were already in place. "I cannot speak for Equestria, but in the Hive, petty crimes such as thievery or assault were subject to three to five years in prison. For the more serious ones, it all depends on the crime." She wanted more information, though. This line of questioning intrigued her.

"Did you have a specific crime in mind? Something I should know about, perhaps?" Her voice took on a more threatening tone, just in the slightest. Noting the change in octave, Ozzy continued. "Well, you said the 'more serious' ones. I'm assuming that covers murder or rape?" Chrysalis' eyes widened, her alarm growing. "Yes, just like those. Now tell me this: did you commit one of those crimes aboard this train?"

We're going to have to tell her now. She's suspicious of us.

Taking a deep breath, Ozzy hung his head. "Maybe the second one." Chrysalis dropped the meat which she held in her magic, unbelieving of what she was hearing. "You mean... To tell me... That you RAPED somepony aboard this train?" She waited for a response. When she received none, she continued. "After chastising me about stealing, you go and pull something like this?" As a growing sense of anger began to swell inside her, Ozzy just kept his head down.

Chrysalis stood from her makeshift bed and began pacing. "I cannot believe this. I'm starting to believe that I would be better off on my own." At that, Ozzy snapped his head up to glare at Chrysalis. "Oh, I'm sorry Miss 'I'm-about-two-seconds-away-from-dying-of-hunger-in-the-middle-of-a-fucking-snowstorm'. I didn't realize that you had the situation so well under control!" Spinning around to glare at the man, Chrysalis began marching toward him. "I would have been fine! Do you know what they do to rapists in Equestria!? The last one had been turned into a stone statue in the middle of that Sun Bitches' courtyard!"

Chrysalis came to a halt about a foot away from Ozzy. Unwilling to take this abuse lying down, Ozzy stood. "You think I don't know how bad this will be? The most I can hope for is that my threat to the pony will work!" He turned and walked toward where Spike was laying. As he stared down at him, Chrysalis retorted. "What threat? What did you tell her? In fact, WHAT HAPPENED?" She bellowed, her voice carrying throughout the cabin.

Ozzy slowly turned back to the Changeling. "Alright. Long story short: this pink pony caught me in one of the empty cabins, we exchanged words... Something happened, I raped her, then threatened her. Told her that if she ever said anything, I would make it worse for her. Also left her with quite a few injuries." Chrysalis sat on the floor, bringing one of her hooves to massage her temple. She did not say anything for a few moments, and Ozzy awaited the further scolding that he would surely receive.

Before she could continue, however, there was a stirring emanating from the other side of the cabin. The other inhabitant was apparently coming to. Not taking any chances, Ozzy withdrew his machete from his holster, holding it directly in front of the dragons' face. As Spike yawned and pushed himself off from the ground, he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision. As he finished, he was met with the tip of a very sharp machete, and the wielder appeared to be the same alien from that crazy dream that he had.

"Mornin', Sunshine." Ozzy said with a grin.

Spike could have sworn that his heart stopped momentarily. As the alien stood there with that blade to his nose, the former leader of the Changelings walked up directly behind him. Hoping that this was yet another crazy dream, Spike was rewarded with the feeling of levitation by magic.

Holding him up against the wall, Chrysalis walked past Ozzy to stand eye to eye with Spike. Looking directly into his eyes, Chrysalis spoke. "Good morning, tiny dragon. Did you sleep well?" Joviality present in her voice, Spike was on the verge of hyperventilating. To not only be at the mercy of this strange alien, but the Changeling queen herself. Spike cursed his desires to be away from the group of ponies that he called family.

Spike audibly gulped, mustering up enough courage to speak.

"Please don't hurt me." Ozzy chuckled at this, switching the machete in favor of Blood Nap. "Please? What a gentleman." Ozzy turned around, walking towards the center of the cabin. From here, Spike noticed what the alien was wearing, the long brown duster with what appeared to be a bull painted on the back. Before Spike could continue his examination, Ozzy spun around, hurling the knife toward the dragon. His life flashing before his eyes, Spike gasped just as the knife embedded itself into the wall an inch away from his face.

Shit, nice throw.

Danke, man.

Chrysalis flinched as she felt the knife pass just by her. However, she would not let the dragon know that she had been startled as well. Not releasing her magical grip, she leaned toward him. "If you play nice, we will not be forced to do anything rash." Ozzy stepped up behind her. "Like skin you alive and eat you for lunch." He finished with a grin. All Spike could do is quiver in fear, their threats keeping him from crying out.

Ozzy reached over to the wall, plucking Blood Nap and waving the knife in Spikes' face. "Now, answer some questions, keep quiet, and most importantly: don't even think about telling anyone about us." Chrysalis purposely licked her lips, eyeing the dragon in an act of starvation. Spike nodded, and watched the two with caution. Walking away, Chrysalis levitated Spike over to another upturned bag of luggage.

So, shake him down and make sure he stays quiet?

That's the plan.

As he was set down, Spike looked around at the now scavenged cabin of which he had been residing in. Upturned bags, looted carry-ons, as well as a few bags made of some other type of material. Looking down, he noticed that he was seated atop Rarity's expansive make-up case, a notion which he felt slightly depressed at. Looking back toward the pair, he found that Ozzy was now seated directly in front of him, with Chrysalis circling him the entire time.

Silence filled the cabin, only broken by the sound of Chrysalis' hooves as she walked. Not knowing where else to start, Spike spoke. "A-alright. What do you want to know?" More silence. Ozzy had not blinked once since he had sat down, something that gave Spike an uneasy feeling. "Before we get started, I want you to know: I know who you are, Spike. Don't think of screwing me over, because I know everything about you."

Spike was confused. He had just met them, how could they know who he was. Spike nervously chuckled. "I'm nopony important, uuuhhh... Who are you?" Without warning, Ozzy brought down his broad machete right next Spike, narrowly avoiding him. The blade had cut clean through the handle of the case. Spike jumped, and stared at the alien in shock.

"You can call me the Courier." He answered, pulling the machete back to rest on his lap.

"I am Chrysalis, dragon. You may have heard of me," She said, ceasing her vulture-circle and resting atop another myriad of discarded luggage. Spike sat there, a flurry of emotions playing in his mind. "A-alright. Anyway, Courier, I'm nopony important. I'm just an assistant to Twilight." Spike twiddled his thumbs, the pauses between their speaking unnerving him. "I see. Would you consider yourself a normal dragon, Spike?" Ozzy asked, a heavy tone of 'this is a trick question' lacing his voice.

Spike laughed nervously. "I-I mean, I'm as normal as the next dragon." Ozzy stuck the machete on the floor, twisting it to create a mark in the wood. "Are you? Do normal dragons have delusions of grandeur, as well as a superiority complex?" Ozzy said. At that, Spike began to sweat. He grabbed at the edges of the case which he sat upon, heat rising in his face.

Gotcha.

"W-why would you s-say that?" Spike stammered. Ozzy reached into his duster pocket, pulling out Spikes' journal. Upon seeing it, Spike felt his heart drop. He knew that they had read it. They knew everything. "I would say that this would cause you some problems if this got out. Wouldn't you agree?" Ozzy smirked.

Spike lunged forward in an attempt to snatch the journal away, but felt magic wrap around his tail, keeping him just out of reach of the journal. He panicked, crying out. "Please! You can't tell Twilight and the others! They'll never see me the same again!" As Spike unsuccessfully grasped for the journal, Ozzy set the book down next to him. "We won't. I just wanted you to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Do you?"

Spike let his shoulders droop, defeat prominent on his face. "Yeah. I'll play along." His voice carried with it a sense of dread, clear that he had been outdone by the duo. Chrysalis yanked his tail back so that he was sitting properly atop the luggage. "Very well, Spike. Now, I have questions. First, what is the punishment for rape in Equestria?" Ozzy's eyes never wavered, and Spike could not be more confused.

Very blunt.

"W-well, that doesn't happen very often. The last pony to do something like that was turned to stone, and that was before I was born." Spike looked at the Courier with fear in his eyes. "Did you... Do that?" Ozzy brought the machete down on Spikes' other side, making him jump once again. "I didn't. I was merely curious." Ozzy pulled the machete back. As he did so, Ozzy reached for a small black carry-on bag, and stuck it between the scales on Spikes' head. "Keep that there or I'm throwing you off."

Spike could not decide if he was confused, afraid, or both. The only thing he was certain of, though, is that he wished for this encounter to come to an end. Ozzy continued, "Now, how is the Equestrian government set up? What are the armed forces like? Are there any rising political tensions?"

This was a topic that Spike was interested in. "Well, there are two rulers, Princess Celestia and Luna. They control the sun and the moon, bringing them up everyday. The armed forces, I'm not so sure on. I know that seeing as how they are aligned with the Crystal Empire, that nearly doubled their soldier output. As for the political tensions, maybe. Seeing as how you read my journal, you'll know that there was a Minotaur ambassador in Canterlot recently."

As Spike spoke, Ozzy could tell that Spike may make for a potential ally. Weak and fearful as he may be, he blended in, and could come across valuable information that Ozzy could not. Spike went on, "I talked with Twilight about that, too. Something about an escaped slave looking to start a new life in Equestria. Princess Celestia doesn't seem to know about it, though."

Ozzy contemplated the news. Slavery could brew political tension. Political tension could mean allies, plus a paycheck. "Alright, Spike. Is there any major form of defense that Equestria possesses?" Ozzy spoke, confidence in the idea of swaying the dragon building inside of him. "Well, there are the Elements of Harmony, that's the big thing." Ozzy held up his hand. "What specifically are those? I've heard of them, but what do they do?" Spike looked between him and Chrysalis, remembering the stories that he had heard.

"Well, they're these six artifacts that an basically stop anything. They're basically conduits for what makes friendship great, I guess. Generosity, magic, kindness, laughter, honesty and loyalty. All Twilight and her friends have to do is use these and they can beat almost anything." As Spike paused, Chrysalis laughed under her breath. Remembering just how much of a nuisance they were, she was uncertain of their power. This confirmed how much it benefitted her to steal those in her invasion.

Ozzy laughed. "Great, so they have a literal ace in the hole. The beat-all. Anything else?" He asked after his short bout of mirthless laughter. "I mean, all of the Alicorns are really powerful and strong. The guard is just there for show, really. The real strength is with Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight. Although, those Night Guards are tough." Spike could feel himself open up more as he spoke. Whether it was due to the fact that the Courier may kill him, or because he was beginning to envision his own ideas was uncertain.

The gears in Ozzy's head were turning.

Should the worst come to pass, we'll have to get rid of those Elements. After that, just wipe out this royal bloodline.

Easier said than done, but I do enjoy some political drama.

Silence dominated the cabin, as it bounced and rocked along the tracks. Ozzy seemed to be deep in thought, and Spike looked to Chrysalis with an award glance. She responded by bearing her fangs, making the dragon return his gaze to the Courier. After a long moment, Ozzy spoke. "Alright. One last question, and then you can go. Would you be interested in potentially gathering more information for me?" Ozzy raised his left eyebrow, a smirk adorning his face.

Spike's confusion never stopped. The Courier first threatens him, then asks Spike to work with him? Was this alien mad? Whatever the case, that would mean that Spike would be aligning himself with a war criminal and a psychotic alien. The odds of this turning out well were slim to none. "Why should I?" A sliver of confidence entering him, Spike stared at Ozzy awaiting a reply.

Ozzy responded by slashing the carry-on case atop Spike's head straight in half. If Spike needed to go to the bathroom beforehand, he would have surely ruined Rarity's makeup case. Ozzy sat there, that same smirk still present. "Well, for one, I'm always looking to get paid. If you help, you get a cut. Secondly, I know that you working with me would upset your little group of friends, and you would enjoy that." Ozzy threw the machete on the ground, sticking it straight through the floorboard. "Apart from that, what would you want to happen should you join me?"

I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what the hell you're thinking AND I'M FUCKING IN HERE!

Spike sat there contemplating his options. Before he could say anything, however, Ozzy cut him off. "Also, you can turn down my offer. Just remember: if you tell anyone about any of this, I will tie you to a cactus and let the vultures peck away at you until you die." Ozzy finished with a grin. If there was any reason to NOT work with the Courier, that was it.

However... Spike felt something when he looked at him. Something that told Spike that this creature would alter Equestria in some way, for better or for worse. It was a foreboding feeling, but Spike was drawn to it nonetheless. Betraying his friends, though, that was what worried him. He didn't care for them as much anymore, but they were the closest friends that he had. Plus, his life may be put in danger. There was the possibility that Spike could not escape from this situation alive.

Ironically, that made Spike feel... Alive.

Adventure alongside an ousted Queen and a dangerous alien? Roaming Equestria in search of riches and plunder? How could Spike NOT take that? With trepidation in his voice, Spike responded. "You've got yourself a deal! So, where are we going? The Badlands? The Edge?" Upon hearing his enthusiasm, Ozzy laughed. "You, uh, don't listen very well, do you? You're an information gatherer. You stay put and relay important info to me, and I use it to my advantage." Hearing the Courier's words, Spike visibly deflated.

Sighing, Spike responded. "Alright, but another thing: you said that whatever I want to happen out of this, you'll make happen, right?" Ozzy nodded at the dragons' words. "Well, two things: first, at some point, I want to come along with you when you go do something. Second, I don't want any of my friends hurt... Maybe Rainbow Dash, but we'll see what happens." Ozzy leaned back into his makeshift chair, staring at the dragon.

"You got yourself a deal, Spike." He finished with a grin on his face.

Spike nodded, a sense of uncertainty and foreboding in his bones, but he relished the feeling. "Awesome! Now, what can I do first?" He asked, imagining all sorts of daring missions to wherever they were headed. "Well, first, we need to find an effective way to communicate without anyone knowing about it. Any ideas?" Spike's face lit up instantly. "Well, I have Dragon Fire which I can use to send letters to and from somewhere. The only thing is sending them back. Usually, it takes some spell from either Twilight or another Alicorn."

Upon hearing this, Chrysalis, who had zoned out some time ago, perked up. "If you are talking about what I think you are talking about, then I may be able to replicate the spell. If you send the letters to me, then I will be able to respond back." Upon hearing this, Ozzy nodded in satisfaction. "Alright, that'll work. I want to test this out though, Spike. Ready for a field test?"

After a half an hour of failed attempts, Chrysalis and Spike were able to successfully send a letter across the cabin to the other. Pleased with their success, Ozzy removed the slashed carry-on bag from Spike's head. "Alright, Spike. You said it doesn't matter how far away we are from each other, this will work?" Spike looked back to the Courier. "It should. It works from Ponyville to Canterlot, so I don't see why not. I'll also give you some of the parchment required for Dragon Fire to work." Spike handed a set of light-brown parchment over to the Courier, who slid them into his duster pocket.

"Hell yeah. Alright, we got our plan. Any questions?" After a brief silence, Ozzy nodded again. "Good. How far are we to Appleloosa?" Looking out a nearby window, Ozzy was surprised to see that the wintery tundra had transformed into a harsh desert environment. "We're nearly there, I think. Once we see the town, that's when Chrysalis and I make our ex-fill. Spike, you get back up front and pretend that this never happened." Spike half heartedly saluted, but not before his journal was tossed back to him. The Courier's grin was replaced by a stoic frown, his eyes portraying the sense of urgency.

"We're in this together, guys. Don't fuck it up." His voice was monotone, no emotion escaping from it. Spike saluted, walking to the entrance of the car. As he left, Chrysalis and Ozzy positioned themselves on the very edge of the train platform. Leaning over the railing, Ozzy could see an Old-Western styled town growing in the distance. As the wind rushed past his face, he reached back into his pocket to extract his sunglasses. Putting them on, he smirked.

Yeeeaaaah.

Shut up, you fuckin' nerd.

Frowning, Ozzy turned back to Chrysalis. "Ready?" He shouted over the rushing wind. She nodded, and they leapt from the train onto the hard ground.  Curling into a ball to lessen the impact, the duo came to a halt as the train sped away. Panting from the adrenaline rush, Chrysalis looked toward Ozzy. "That rock... Formation... Looks decent... Enough." Ozzy looked back to her. "It's as good a plan as any."

Before they could begin their walk, however, a strange bang was heard coming from the train tracks. Looking toward the town, the duo was stunned to see the engine car toppled over onto its side. Cheers and whoops could be heard from further down, and Ozzy was unsure of what was happening. "How popular is banditry here, anyway?" He asked, hoping for a decent answer. "Not very. A few roving gangs here and there, but nothing too serious. They would not be able to pull something like that off, though." Chrysalis responded, her words rushed and slightly worried.

This just got a whole lot more interesting. Go check it out.

As Ozzy began walking toward a nearby mountain range, Chrysalis fell into line next to him. "What do we do if our newest agent is set upon by bandits?" Looking up to the man, his smirk only grew as he continued walking. "Well, we go in after him. Saving him along with the pony that I just raped and her friends? I aim for nothing other than befuddlement."

Chrysalis only stared at the man. "I am still upset with you for that. It is bad enough that I am branded a war criminal, but the team of a war criminal and a rapist? This will not look good in the event that we are caught." Ozzy said nothing at this, opting for walking in silence. His thoughts, however, drifted to his newest assistant aboard the train.

He better be ok.

So, the dragon is on our side now.

It appears so.

Why do you think he joined up so readily?

No idea. All I do know is that he'll help.

He better. Also, love how you conned the kid into working with us. Think he'll be pissed if he finds out that you went back on your deal before you even made it?

Maybe, but as long as the pink one keeps quiet, I'm in good shape. If not, well... We'll see what happens.

Exodus? We'll have to elope. I don't feel like being turned into a stone statue.

First off, it's only Chrysalis and I, so it won't be an exodus. Secondly, I'm not marrying a goddamn bug.

Come oooooon. I know that you were catching glimpses of her ass.

Go to hell.

A Winning Smile

That town looked a lot closer than I thought.

What should have been a five minute walk turned into a twenty minute saunter, as Ozzy had underestimated the distance of his position from the town. Passing by cacti and dead shrubs, a cacophony of sounds began to grow. First and foremost was the sound of ponies screaming, crying, and wailing for some unknown reason. Secondly came the snarling, but slightly more intelligent. Lastly came the shouts of someone or something yelling at the ponies. From the general array of the situation, it appeared whomever had attacked the train was attempting to corral the ponies to the train tracks near the town.

Remember Nipton? I'm getting that kind of vibe from this.

Well, that can't happen just as as I turn up. Time to be the hero.

Ozzy quickened his pace as Chrysalis attempted to catch up. Approaching undetected, the pair took cover behind a small building to survey the situation from a better angle. From where he stood, Ozzy could see that the attackers turned out to be dog-like creatures that stood on two legs. Carrying spears and wearing dull-looking armor comprised of gray shoulder pads, chest-piece and helmet, they shoved ponies around, hitting them upside the head when one did not move quickly enough or one talked back. "Diamond Dogs," Chrysalis said. "I have heard of them. They normally stay underground in mines, only coming out to trade. Why this band has decided to attack Appleloosa is beyond me."

As she spoke, the Dogs moved the ponies to the tracks. They separated the parents from the children, and as the parents were pushed back by the guards, the children were shackled into heavy chains and marched into lines. The parents shouted at the guards to release them, which only gained them a blunt blow to the side of the head. As the crowd was controlled, one Dog climbed atop the awning of the train station, preparing to address the mass of cowering ponies.

This Dog stood about a foot taller than the rest, which led Ozzy to believe that he was the leader of the raiding party. In addition to the armor his comrades wore, minus the helmet, this Dog wore a red cape draped over his left shoulder. The Dog's shoulder pads were encrusted with a variety of fine gems. His ears pointed directly into the air, and were pierced at the very tip with silver earrings. His left eye was glazed over by a layer of white, rendering him unable to see out of it. On his hip, he carried a small dagger as well as a crudely fashioned sword, seemingly made out of sharpened stone.

That thing couldn't cut through butter.

The leader Dog paced atop the awning, scanning over the fearful ponies. He smirked, finally addressing the crowd.

"Greetings, ponies of Appleloosa! My name is Lobo, and we come in peace!" His voice was scratchy, as though he had gargled with acid. "We do not wish to harm anymore of you! We simply wish to take the gems that you possess, as well as make slaves of your children!" At that, many of the citizens shouted at the Lobo, to which he replied with a grin.

As the crowd grew unruly, Ozzy and Chrysalis formed a plan of attack. "It appears as though only a full-frontal assault is our only option," Chrysalis said, leaning out to analyze the street. "Not quite. If one of us draws their attention while the other sneaks behind the train station, we could kill the lot of them quick and easy," Ozzy said as he craned his head to gain a better view. "If we approach it like that, who will walk the road and beguile them into a false sense of security?" Chrysalis asked.

Ozzy looked to her with a smirk. "I feel as though a new alien species will draw their attention pretty well. Plus, you can be pretty effective at range with that horn of yours." The crowd was pushing back against the Dogs in an attempt to reclaim their children. "Fair enough. I will signal you when I am in position. Try not to attack them until then." Chrysalis began to skulk away, but not before being stopped by Ozzy who grabbed her by the shoulder. "Don't hurt any of the ponies. We're the good guys, alright?" Chrysalis nodded in understanding. "You should heed your own words, Courier." Ozzy frowned as Chrysalis turned to reach her position.

Well, buddy ol' boy, shall I do the talking?

Not quite. I think I'll use some of your techniques, though, if you don't mind.

Oh, nooooo, please. Be my guest.

With that, Ozzy straightened up against the wall. Taking a deep breath and replacing his frown with a winning smile, he stepped out from behind the building. Straightening his weapons as he walked, Ozzy began to casually stroll down the main road of the town. Passing by the town hall, the Sheriff's office, with the sheriff who was conveniently missing from the action, as well as an assortment of other storefronts, Ozzy found that the town had that charming western frontier vibe to it.

Kind of reminds me of Primm.

It does, doesn't it?

Ozzy let out a light chuckle. He flashed back to chatting with Ruby Nash on the street corner outside the Vikki and Vance. As he continued to observe the town, the crowd of ponies and Dogs gradually grew quieter, with their gazes turning to the creature strolling down the street. By the time Ozzy neared the crowd, it had grown dead silent. Ozzy, now realizing he was the center of attention, stopped as well.

Thus began a silence for the ages. Ozzy stared, followed by the crowd staring, followed by the wind kicking up dirt, followed by even more staring. Lobo was the first to react, slowly grabbing the handle of his sword. He unsheathed it, walked to the edge of the awning, and jumped down. Slowly, he and the rest of the Dogs moved from containing the crowd to surrounding Ozzy, who smirked at the attempt to encircle him. As the Dogs moved, the ponies slowly crept away from the circle, instead taking cover behind barrels and inside buildings. The parents picked up their children and carried them away as well.

Once the street had cleared, which is what Ozzy had been waiting for, Lobo decided that even though this creature was new and foreign, it was worth robbing it. "What do we have here, hmm?" The Dog said, eyeing Ozzy for any valuables. "I have never seen anything quite like you. Anything on you that will make me prosper?" Lobo brought his sword forward, lifting the bottom of Ozzy's duster.

He fucking touched the jacket. He must die now.

We wait for Chrysalis to get into position. I want to try to take this guy alive.

But the rest are expendable, right?

Oh, no question.

Good.

The Dogs surrounding him were laughing, smirking, and sneering at Ozzy. They scanned him for anything that might be valuable, or for the fact that he may make a decent meal. Lobo attempted to fake Ozzy out by pretending to rush him, though Ozzy stood resolute. This only served to annoy the Dog. "You know, this is a dangerous place for a new species. It appears as though luck is not on your side." Lobo spit at the ground near Ozzy's feet, though Ozzy did not move an inch. Just as the dogs began to tighten the circle, Ozzy spied a light atop the train station, emanating from a long black horn.

Oh, you mutts are going down.

I counted twenty-three, not counting Lobo. There may be more, so watch your six. Let's do this.

A Dog to Ozzy's left decided to try and pry 'This Machine' from Ozzy' back. Just as his arm was about to grab the stock, his hand was cut off faster than he could blink. Pain coursed through his arm, but was quickly ended by his throat being slashed open. Tumbling to the ground with blood spurting from his neck, the remaining Dogs either gasped or felt their breath be stolen from their lungs. Ozzy stood with his back to them, machete in hand. He reached for Blood-Nap, machete in the left hand, knife in the right. He turned to them, blood marks adorning his face, and a small smile slowly gracing his lips.

Twenty-two.

Lobo was about to speak, but was cut off as Ozzy slashed through another dog, cutting open his chest.

Twenty-one.

Another Dog lunged with his spear, Ozzy dodging to the left and bringing his foot down on the Dogs knee. The sound of bones crunching followed by the howl of the Dog snapped the others out of their fear-induced stupor. A slightly smaller one came charging at him, though Ozzy was quick to slice the spear rod in half, followed by sticking the short blade in between his eyes.

Twenty.

One more jumped on Ozzy's back as another tried to stab Ozzy with his spear. Spinning around, Ozzy had the Dog on his back catch the spear in his spine, quickly ending his life. As that Dog fell off, Ozzy threw him onto the other, forcing him to the ground. Ozzy rushed him, bring the machete blade down through his skull.

Nineteen and eighteen.

Sheathing Blood-Nap, Ozzy reached for the Mysterious Magnum. Three more dogs attempted to rush him, though Ozzy's fingers glided across his Pip-Boy. Before the three could react, three bullets had entered each of their skulls, with one entering through the eye. As their limp bodies fell to the ground, Ozzy ducked, narrowly avoiding a stone axe to the head. As the Dog tried to right himself after the swing, Ozzy plunged the machete into his stomach, hunching over the axe-wielding dog. Before he hit the ground, Ozzy stuck the barrel of the Magnum to the back of his head and pulled the trigger, a loud bang followed by brain matter falling to the ground.

Seventeen through fourteen.

As the dog who had his leg broken attempted to limp away, a blast of green energy from the station rooftop turned him to ash. With that, ten of the canine raiding party diverged from attacking Ozzy to charging the train station. Blast after green blast was hurled at the advancing Dogs, gaining a wicked smile from Chrysalis.

Thirteen.

Grabbing a barrel from a nearby store-front, a Dog hurled it directly at Ozzy. Hitting the deck with great speed, the barrel crashed into the dirt on the street. Getting back on his feet, the same dog ran forward, short knife in hand. Lunging at the Courier from the side, Ozzy hooked his right arm at the dogs elbow, with his left arm underneath the dogs arm. Gracefully redirecting the direction of the weapon, the Dogs eyes grew wide as his own blade was stuck through his throat. Ozzy brought his leg forward, kicking the dog square in the chest, sending him flying backward.

Twelve, and DUCK.

Ozzy crouched, avoiding another Dog that was sent flying from the train station roof. The dog skidded along the road, howling the entire way. His journey was cut short, though, as a .44 magnum round entered his heart and left him dead in the street.

Eleven.

Sheathing the Magnum and his machete, Ozzy reached for his rifle. Aiming toward the train station, he counted that Chrysalis had about four more to contend with. As one was about to pounce her from the side, Ozzy fired the rifle, sending the Dog sprawling across the rooftop. Before he could turn around, however, a Dog with a stone mace smashed him directly on the side of the head, sending Ozzy to the ground. The Dog was about to bring the mace down to finish the job, but was stopped as a blast of green energy left a gaping hole in his stomach. Dropping the mace while doubling over in pain, Ozzy stood. Grabbing This Machine by the hand guards, Ozzy swung the butt of the rifle in a full golf-arc toward the forehead of the dog. As the rifle connected with a sickening crack, the Dog was sprawled on his back, stuck somewhere between dying and dead.

Ten. Plus the however many so that Chrysalis killed, looks like she only has one left.

Seeing a green aura above the train station, a loud popping sound followed by the head of a Dog rolling down the street signified that Chrysalis had handled herself well.

And that's that. Now to find General Lassie.

Lobo, whilst the fight was raging on, had attempted to flee with several would-be slave children in tow. Dragging them by the chains around their necks, he was about to exit the town and escape into the desert. As he passed by a wood pile, a shot bounced off of a nearby rock, stopping him in his tracks. Slowly turning around to find the same creature who had killed his Dogs wielding a long stick, though holding it as one would hold a crossbow.

Lobo held his sword above the head of a little baby-blue unicorn in chains. The Dog eyed the Courier with lethal intent, though the Courier only smiled. Lobo was confused, to say the least. "Don't you care if this filly dies!?" Lobo shouted at the Courier. "You hero types are always concerned about casualties!" The Dog pulled on the chain, forcing the little filly to stand on her hind legs. As Lobo was distracted, Chrysalis, who had taken to flanking the Dog, pulled the other children away from him. Ozzy watched as the other children were led away, refocusing his gaze on the Dog.

Those two are out of the way. Now we just have to worry about the little one he has.

The filly's bright purple eyes shimmered with tears. She felt lightheaded from being choked by the chain around her neck. Why this Diamond Dog was hurting her in the first place, she was unable to comprehend. She was able to understand that whatever the creature that was talking to the Diamond Dog was, he was trying to keep her safe. She wanted to feel safe right now.

Another jerk from Lobo on the chain made the filly cough, almost on the verge of passing out from lack of oxygen or fear. The Dog eyed the girl as though she were just a slab of meat. He looked back to the Courier. "If you don't let me go free, I will kill the little pony." Lobo glided his sword across the filly's head, a whimper escaping her lips. Lobo was so enamored by the sight of his blade on her head that he failed to notice the carapace-covered interceptor flanking him from the right.

Without warning, Chrysalis fired a green bolt of magic directly at Lobo's hand, knocking the sword free. As Lobo yelped in pain, Chrysalis charged forward with her head down, her horn aimed directly at the Dog's knee. With great speed, Chrysalis' horn tore right through Lobo's leg, forcing him to cry out at the burning sensation. The filly, seeing her opportunity to run, dashed away from the Dog who held her captive, heading straight back for the town.

He's wounded! Get his canine ass!

Lobo attempted to right himself, but was cut short as the butt of a rifle smashed into his jaw, blurring his vision. The Dog fell onto his back, and spied his sword lying almost within arms reach. Before he could grab it, however, a boot came crashing down on his elbow sending a wave of pain through his body. Lobo looked to see the face of whatever this thing was, but was interrupted with another bash of the rifle butt, effectively knocking him unconscious.

As Ozzy stood over him, watching the wound on the Dog's leg drip blood, he turned back to see Chrysalis observing the unconscious Dog as well. "At least we took this one alive. We may have a harder time explaining the corpses in the street to the townsfolk," Chrysalis said, as Ozzy walked over to the pile of spare wood. "What are you doing?" She asked, as Ozzy found two sturdy logs. "I'm going to leave the dog in a position that sets an example, and that he cannot escape from." Ozzy laid out the logs in a cross pattern. "What form of imprisonment is this?" Chrysalis asked, curiosity growing.

"Crucifixion." He answered.

Your Legion-ness is coming out. I like it.

After Lobo was dealt with, Ozzy and Chrysalis began walking back to the rustic town. Before they reached it, however, they noticed several things. The first and foremost was that a dark blue chariot with an impressive emblem was parked outside of the train station, close to the toppled engine car. The second being that ponies with rather leathery bat wings were hauling corpses away, either by levitating them with magic, or using their brawn. The gored bodies were being laid out in a straight line, from shortest to tallest.

The third was the elated cries of the parents to see their little children once more. The cries were drowned out, though, by the furious shouting of a mob of the Appleoosan ponies, who sounded appalled at the reaction time of this division of the pony military.

"Where were you guys?!"

"We could have been killed!"

"You're lucky that thing showed up and saved us!"

"What if it had killed us, too?! We don't even know what it is!"

As the shouting took a turn regarding him, Ozzy thought it best to take cover behind a nearby building, with Chrysalis following suit. "Well, they do not sound very happy," Chrysalis observed, earning a single laugh from Ozzy. "Not really. Wonder what took these guys so long. Who are they, again?" He asked, turning to the Changeling. "They are the Ebony Nights, if I am correct. They are a special division of the Lunar Guard." Ozzy stared into the desert, weighing his options.

Don't look now, but we're not alone behind this building.

Ozzy leaned back into the building, cracking his neck in an effort to discreetly scan the area. By doing so, he barely made out the form of another, slightly larger pony atop the building which they were hiding behind. From what he could see, the pony was a dark blue, almost violet color, with what looked like both a horn and wings.

Another Alicorn. Awesome.

Ozzy leaned closer to Chrysalis, his voice growing hushed. "Stay calm. Someone is back here with us." Chrysalis quickly scanned the area in an attempt to find the other pony, but her effort was in vain. "Where is this other one?" She asked, hoping for a reasonable response. Her answer, however, came from directly above them.

"I believe that would be me." The pony said. At that, Ozzy and Chrysalis snapped their heads up to see the grinning blue Alicorn. Ozzy reached for the Magnum, but was stopped as a blast of blue magic sent his hand whipping around, as well as his entire body, successfully disorientating him for a moment. Chrysalis fired her own magic, just as the other pony vanished in a cloud of thick, blue smoke. Chrysalis spun around, immediately looking for any potential hiding spots that the other pony may be waiting to ambush her from.

She was stopped, however, as another spear of blue magic paralyzed her, her body falling over with the grace of a stone statue. Ozzy, now regaining feeling in his hand, managed to draw the Magnum from its holster. As the blue Alicorn crept out from behind the side of the building, Ozzy aimed the Magnum directly between her eyes.

She's good, that's for sure. This may be that Princess Luna that Spike was talking about.

Probably. Time to be the nice guy.

They stood there, their attention never wavering. Luna stood about a foot and a half shorter than Ozzy, her frown only growing deeper whilst she stared at the alien. Ozzy's face, however, did not portray any emotion at all, as he had practiced for years. Chrysalis, meanwhile, twitched idly from her position on the ground, her eyes darting between the Courier and the Princess of the Night. Finally, after finding a suitable subject to discuss, Ozzy spoke. "How long will my companion be frozen?" He asked.

Luna let out a light chuckle. "Long enough for my soldiers to detain her. She is a war criminal, after all." She glared down at Chrysalis, who still remained on the ground. "I can't let you do that. She's a friend of mine." His voice was even, though with a hint of irritation. Ozzy pulled back the hammer of the Magnum. As he did so, Luna spoke once more. "After seeing what you have done with that to those Diamond Dogs, I highly recommend that you refrain from killing me." Her voice become more authoritative as she spoke.

"Why shouldn't I?" Ozzy asked. Luna let out a more hearty chuckle at that. "Not only am I nearly immortal, but you would wage war against the very nation of Equestria." She walked closer to Ozzy. "And I can assure you," she was about a foot away from him. "You do not want that." Ozzy, for his part, was doing his utmost to refrain from bursting out laughing.

They really don't get it, do they?

Not really.

Ozzy holstered the Magnum. "Very well, pony," Luna interrupted, "You may address me as Princess Luna." Ozzy began after being so rudely interrupted. "... Princess Luna. If you want me to behave, then let's make a deal. Chrysalis has repented from her crimes against Equestria, this I can vouch for. As for myself, I feel as though an alliance between your country and mine would be a great boon to us all." He knelt down so as to be eye-level with the princess. "What do you say?" He asked, smiling as he did.

Before he could react, Luna brought her rear hoof directly into Ozzy's nose, sending him flying backward.

HOLY SHIT, that was cool!

Piss off.

Ozzy jumped from his laying position back onto his feet, this time drawing Blood Nap. Luna spoke, slowly growing more irritated. "Firstly, I do not make deals with enemies of the state. Secondly, you threaten me, then ask for my friendship?" Luna spat at the ground near Ozzy. "Nary a chance." Luna readied her horn for another volley of magic, but stopped in her tracks when Ozzy responded.

"What if I said I could help you out with your Minotaur problem?" He said, a small smirk showing on his face. Luna froze, unsure of how the alien knew of the political affairs of her country. "What Minotaur problem? What nonsense do you speak?" Ozzy twirled Blood Nap by the hilt, readying himself should the worst come to pass. "I know that there is an escaped slave seeking refuge in Equestria. I can either return him to his masters without you having to get involved, or I can reason with the owners to see if they would free him." Luna sauntered to the left, looking out toward the expansive desert.

"You make it sound as though we are harboring this slave. What makes you think that the Minotaurs are not mistaken?" Her voice lost its edge, growing more calm as she spoke. "Honestly?" He sheathed his knife. "I don't know either way. What I do know is that this sounds like a job that would be better handled by someone outside of the Equestrian government." He slowly approached her side. "I excel at such matters." He ended with a sly smile.

I would not be surprised if she decided to kill you instead.

The wind howled for a brief moment, just long enough to throw sand into the gale. Luna sighed, closing her eyes as she did. "We have hired mercenaries in the past to deal with some... Less than reputable matters. However, signing on the Changeling Queen who attacked Canterlot would cause too much of an uproar." She gazed out across the sand, Ozzy following suit. "Who said anyone would have to know? She can throw up a cloak when we're in mixed company."

Luna looked back to the Changeling, still lying on the ground, frozen. Turning to look at the alien, she began to view the scars, both large and small, adorning this alien's face. "You say to hire you, meaning you demand compensation for your work. What would your price be?" She asked. Ozzy put his hand to his chin, silently stroking his beard. He began pacing from his position besides the princess to the wide expanse of the desert. Finally, he spoke.

"I want a full pardon for Chrysalis. She's done her time out in the frozen north." Luna's eyes bulged, shocked by what she had heard. "You cannot be serious?!" Her voice grew exasperated. "Half of Canterlot would see her hang, as well as my sister! What makes you so worth our time that we would grant such an arrangement?!" She glared at the alien, flabbergasted by his demands. Spinning on his heels, Ozzy replied. "You are talking to one of the most accomplished agents on my home planet. You will not find anyone on this planet," He motion to the sky, "Nor anywhere else that will fit my qualifications."

It's rare that I get to see you become a true showman.

It feels soooooooo good.

Luna pondered the Courier's deal. This alien massacred twenty or so Diamond Dogs, yet claims he is an ally. At the very most, this would be a great scientific discovery. An alien from a completely different world, and is willing to cooperate? As well as solve a delicate political matter? As she was contemplating her options, Luna had a revelation:

She was screwed either way.

Either let them roam free, detain them and have to explain why she is holding an alien creature in the dungeons, or bring them on and have to explain why she has brought on such odd soldiers to resolve the issue. "Very well. I will not immediately grant a full pardon for the Changeling, but she may earn one should she aid you in this endeavor." She began walking out to the main road. As she did, her horn lit up in a bright flash of blue magic, which enveloped Chrysalis as well.

Once the flash evaporated, Chrysalis immediately rose to her feet, coughing and sputtering. Her eyes flamed with anger directed at the Night Princess, though she was stopped when Ozzy rushed to put a hand on her shoulder. She looked back at her companion, her anger threatening to boil over at any point. Ozzy shook his head, hoping that despite everything, they could be amicable about being accepted as outside help.

As the pair began following Luna, the Princesses' horn lit up once more, this time enveloping Ozzy and Chrysalis in a cloud of blue smoke. The pair was startled, and grew even more confused when the smoke cleared, yet could not see each other, or themselves for that matter. Before they could protest, Luna spoke. "Tis best for the population of Appleloosa to think that you have been detained and brought in for questioning. You will move as quietly as possible to my carriage whilst I assure the ponies that the situation has been handled. Are we clear?"

The pair almost nodded, but realized that that would be a fruitless effort. A quiet 'yes' was heard, and Luna nodded in content. "Very well. Once I address the crowd, take that as your cue to move to my carriage. I have also notified the guards to look the other way and prevent other ponies from seeing you." She craned her neck around the building to view the borderline-riotous crowd. "Move quickly, and I will see you both in my carriage."

With that, Luna flew into the air, circling the small town with a birds' eye view. Ozzy and Chrysalis watched the Princess land on top of a saloon opposite the building where they had met. Before the duo could move, a booming voice was heard across the street.

"Citizens of Appleloosa!"

The crowd immediately turned to find the source of the noise, and was startled to see the actual Princess of the Night, on top of the most popular salt lick in town.

"We apologize for our late arrival! Our forces were pre-occupied stopping the main force near the mountains!"

The crowd murmured with fear, shocked at the news they had heard.

"You heard right! This was but a fraction of what would have attacked your town, would we not have intervened! Hundreds of Diamond Dogs have been detained and brought forth for trial!"

The crowd's mood turned from furious at the night guard to semi-grateful, though remnants of anger still lingered. Their focus was so devoted to the Princess that they failed to notice the hoof and foot prints making their way toward the carriage. Ozzy, once they reached the carriage, found small letters inscribed on one side of the carriage, carved in regal, ornate lettering.

Fitting.

As the pair hid themselves aboard the carriage, Luna finished addressing the cowponies.

"I swear to you all, that this untimely arrival of our forces will never occur again! Thank you, my ponies!"

The ponies cheered, though some still appeared less than pleased. Luna beat her wings to take to the sky, landing a short distance away from the carriage. She stopped to give instructions to an Ebony Night on what to do with the bodies. After he saluted in understanding, Princess Luna boarded her carriage, giving the ponies pulling it permission to ascend.

Now in the privacy of her carriage, Luna's horn sparkled with light, forcing the cloak that hid the alien and the Changeling to become visible once more. They sat in silence for a moment before Ozzy addressed the princess. "So... What's th-" He was stopped as Luna held up a hoof. "First, I want your name, your occupation, and where you have come from. Only then will I relinquish the details of your potential assignment." She stared at him expectedly, before shifting her eyes to Chrysalis. "I already know of you, Changeling. You are only here for the sole purpose that he is a new species that has taken a liking to you."

A little harsh, isn't she?

Can't blame her, to be honest.

Chrysalis subtly deflated at those words, yet resigned to staring out the window at the passing landscape. Luna stared back at Ozzy, who was returning her stare with a slight smirk on his face. This caught Luna off guard, for she blinked and returned her head to its normal position. "Well, might as well give you the gist of it. My name is Ozzy, I am a lot of things, really, though I guess my main profession would be Courier. I come from a little planet called Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy," He leaned back into the plush seating. "Lately, I've been running my own nation, so I guess I can add 'Mayor' to my resumé. Also, I am a human. Homo Sapien, to be exact," He finished with a broad smile.

Luna, for as well of a judge of character as she thought herself to be, could not for the life of her make heads nor tails of this... Human. Her stare bore into him, yet she could not decipher just what his true intentions were. However, she had already traveled too deep down the rabbit hole. She was out of options.

After a moment of hesitation, she spoke. "Very well. Ozzy, I will be bringing you on as an information gatherer. The Minotaurs have accused Equestria of harboring an escaped slave, yet we have accepted no pony into our country under such pretenses. My sister, Celestia, has stated that Equestria is a free nation, though, and would grant asylum to any slaves looking for a new life." The carriage rocked against the wind outside as she spoke.

"What would happen, should a slave come to us seeking refuge, is that Celestia will contact the owner and offer to purchase the slave from them, effectively freeing them. This time, however, a slave may have absconded into Equestria without us even knowing of it. This in and of itself would be an extremely difficult task." Ozzy nodded along to the Princesses' words, already hatching a plan. Luna continued. "Now, we have already questioned the legal Minotaurs residing within our borders, and their stories are legitimate. Your job would be to find any Minotaur that has eluded our naturalization process, as well as managed to stay off the political record. Are you able and willing to perform such a task?"

Ozzy sat there, contemplating Luna's words.

What have we got to lose? You did say that you wanted to help.

I said I wanted a paycheck. If I help people along the way, then that's just a bonus.

After a long moment of silence, Ozzy responded. "Just to be clear: I find your missing Minotaur, and you grant Chrysalis a complete pardon of her crimes." Luna sighed at that. "I will see what I can do in that regard. Many ponies would lose faith in us if we let her off the hook so willingly." Ozzy shifted his gaze to the bored looking Changeling, still gazing out of the window. Looking back to the princess, he spoke. "At the very least, I want you to seclude her somewhere where she is still away from the general population, but won't be unfairly pitted against the elements, fighting to survive on a daily basis."

Luna looked to the distraught Changeling, malice still in her eyes. "Very well. Somewhere in the mountains outside of Canterlot, under constant guard from the Night Guard. My sisters' soldiers would not stand a chance should she decide to attack us again." At those words, Chrysalis turned to Luna. "I was under beguilement at the time. I was not thinking clearly," She finished, dejected. Luna continued. "Whatever the reason, that will be my terms. Fair?" She held out her hoof, yet Ozzy was unsure of how to respond.

Bro-fist. She doesn't have hands.

No shit, Sherlock.

Curling his hand into a fist, Ozzy met his knuckles with the bottom of Luna's hoof. Concluding with a soft *clack*, Ozzy and Luna settled down to their relaxing positions. "Also, maybe you could help me figure out how to get home? I kind of need to get back to where I'm needed most," Ozzy said. "I understand, and we will discuss the specifics of that once we reach Canterlot. For now, I wish to rest. We have a long ride ahead of us."

Luna leaned back into the seat, her eyes slightly drooping. Ozzy, in need of a rest himself, followed suit. Chrysalis, finding no other option worthy of her time, slowly drifted off to sleep as well.

Soon, only the sound of soft breathing came from within the cabin.

Pssst. Hey.

What? I want to take a fucking nap, let me sleep.

You will, I just have one question: why was she so willing to trust you?

What do you mean?

This seems to be a theme with the people, or ponies, that you meet here. You fight them, then become friends with them five minutes later. Doesn't that strike you as odd?

A little, yeah.

Just be on your toes. This place is starting to get on my nerves.

Roger.

View from the Top

To any normal passerby on The Strip, it seemed that the city was the same as usual. The harsh, Mojave sun was setting over the horizon, the soldiers came stumbling out of the casinos after spending their entire paychecks on liquor and slot machines, the Securitrons wheeled around the streets just waiting for the moment that someone decided to cause trouble, and the whores outside of Gomorrah danced to the pleasure of both men and women alike.

Yes, to anyone without a trained eye, today seemed to be business as usual.

Of course, no one seemed to notice or care for the presence of the modest gentleman walking up the stairs towards the Lucky 38 casino with a manilla folder in his right hand.

As the man approached the door, the Securitron took note of the man, down to the smallest detail. His face bore a look that showed that this man could blend into a crowd, or could lead that crowd into battle at the drop of a hat. His brown eyes and hair were hardly distinguishable to anyone who did not know who he was. The brown suit and hat which he wore was common amongst the gamblers and bystanders of The Strip, fabricating a guise that he was a nobody.

Except he was different in so many ways. This man has burned entire communities at the stake, all in the name of a tyrant. He has charged into battle against NCR rangers, sometimes with nothing more than a machete. As he approached the Securitron, he raised his left hand and held up his pointer and middle finger, forming a "V". The Securitron's programming recognized the symbol, and spoke with a monotone voice.

"IDENTIFIED: INCULTA, VULPES. ACCESS GRANTED. WELCOME TO THE LUCKY 38."

The doors behind the Securitron slid open with the sound of metal forcibly grinding against itself. Vulpes moved passed the sentry, still clutching the manilla folder firmly in his hand. The sound of construction greeted his ears, as he took note of the renovation that was occurring inside the Lucky 38. Securitrons, hired workers, and even an Eyebot or two could be seen repairing or dismantling one of the many components that complete the casino. It was no secret to the majority of The Strip that the Courier wanted to re-open the renowned casino. With the addition of a fourth casino on the strip, the revenue gained from it would be exponential, and the Courier knew this would be a boon for him.

Working his way past the ongoing construction, Vulpes hit the button to summon the elevator. With a pleasant tone, the elevator doors opened, and he stepped inside. He knew that at this time of day, the Courier would more than likely be unwinding with a drink. Vulpes hit the button for the cocktail lounge, and the elevator doors closed behind him.

Vulpes took a moment to reflect on the contents of the folder. Of course, he was under the threat of execution should he discuss the contents of the folder with anyone except the Courier or his trusted associates, but that didn't stop him from imagining what the Courier's reaction to the contents would be. How would the man react with the news that his plan was working better than he had hoped? This is the man that, seven years after the Second Battle of Hoover Dam, has transformed New Vegas into a shining beacon of promise in the Wastes. Seven years, the now revered Courier worked meticulously to ensure that New Vegas was a sovereign nation in the Wasteland. Through cunning, negotiation, and a fair amount of violence, the Courier was recognized as the Hero of New Vegas, a title which he humbly accepted.

Regardless, this was the Courier that was in question. A man who built his reputation off of being unpredictable. Anyone who personally worked with this man knew that if there was one irrefutable fact about him, it is that the thoughts and inner workings of the Courier were an absolute enigma.

That, as many people came to realize, was just how he liked it.

The DING of the elevator shook Vulpes out of his rumination, and the door of the elevator opened. As he stepped out, he was still astounded by the view that the cocktail lounge boasted of. Few had ever seen this level of the Lucky 38 from the inside, and Vulpes silently counted himself lucky to be amongst those who had. With that thought, he set out to locate the Courier hidden amid the couches and throw pillows.

As he worked his way around the bar once, twice, and a third time, Vulpes finally gave in and admitted that he had no clue where the Courier had gone. Giving up and heading towards the bar, he took notice of a single abandoned drink: a small shot glass with what smelled like whiskey inside. Vulpes knew that the Courier was one to indulge himself when he saw fit, but never one to abandon perfectly good alcohol. As he contemplated this, a figure stood up from behind one of the couches and tiptoed his way over to the confused runner.

Vulpes barely had time to register the sound of quiet footsteps before he felt the cold barrel of a gun on the back of his head. This was not the first time that Vulpes was in this situation, but it still put him on edge. He knew that the Courier was known for being paranoid, but this was just a little much.

"You realize that I am not here to kill you, don't you, Courier?" Vulpes spoke, enunciating every word and syllable in a proper yet calming tone.

"I know, but I'm just testing you. You're getting slow, Inculta. Three years ago, you'd have the gun in my face and I'd be on the floor," The Courier said, pulling back the gun from the other mans head. "And you know I like to go by Ozzy." His voice was monotone, and gave away no emotion when he spoke. Vulpes turned around to get a better look at the man. Now facing him, Vulpes saw that the Courier had not changed in the slightest from when they last met.

Ozzy, more commonly known as The Courier, stood at an impressive six feet and three inches tall, towering above a majority of the citizens of the Mojave. His face was marked with three scars, one on the left side of his face starting at the temple, curving away from his eye, and ending at the top of his chin. The second one started near the middle of his forehead and ended near his hairline. The third scar intersected with the second one, starting at the top of his hairline, and coming down to end on his right cheek, forming an obtuse angle between the two. His brown eyes showed that he was a very passionate person, feeling the extremes of any emotion when he allowed himself to or was bombarded with an overwhelming amount of pressure and emotions.

His hair was auburn red and of medium length, slicked back on his head to show that he possessed semblance of style. He was slightly unshaven, letting just the beginning of a full beard creep out from his jawline. His skin, for as much time as he spent under the harsh sun, was slightly paler than most who ventured into the wastes. The slight impression of muscle under his suit exhibited that should negotiations of any kind fail, he would be prepared for a fight. This fascinated most people, but then again, Ozzy was a commodity residing in the wasteland.

Everything about Ozzy was just a slight deviation from the norm. Where most adventurers wore some type of armor, Ozzy wore an old world suit for most business affairs. Where most people have some notion of feeling and emotion, Ozzy was unfeeling and calculating. This proved to be his greatest weapon against most of his adversaries. Ozzy knew how to manipulate a situation to not only assure his victory, but to completely drain the morale and hope from the opposing side.

The stories and rumors surrounding the man were also captivating. Stories of one man marching into a Deathclaw-infested Quarry Junction and completely purging it so that workers could resume the duties. Rumors of a single man facing hordes of Super Mutants and feral ghouls, all with a manic grin upon his face. Stories of that same man who, when faced with less than pleasing odds, would turn into a fury of death and destruction, most distinguishable by the difference in voice and mannerisms.

It goes without saying in the Mojave that there were many reasons that Ozzy was in the position of power that he currently held.

Putting his thoughts aside, Vulpes brought forth the matter which brought him back to New Vegas. "Well, you'll want to look at this. Reports from the front lines in California." He stated, a small inkling of pride seeping into his voice. He held out the manilla folder towards Ozzy, who set his firearm down on a nearby table. He opened the folder to begin inspecting the plethora of papers, a myriad of battle reports, plans, casualty lists, and statements on how the NCR would be exterminated by the end of the year.

"Good. Now, has Lanius been behaving himself out there? No more crucifixions and mass burnings?" Ozzy said, waiting for Vulpes' response. Vulpes slightly lowered his head in a bout of shame, and spoke. "We had one incident concerning a small town of NCR citizens who refused to surrender, despite our constant explaining of how their situation would improve should they become citizens of New Vegas. The Legate grew impatient and ordered his men to torch everything. Everyone who did not die in the fire, the Legate decapitated and left their heads on fence posts. There were no survivors."

Upon hearing this, Ozzy's face fell to display his disappointment. He sauntered toward the bar and took his shot glass in his hand. "Vulpes, remind me how I'm supposed to convince everyone that the NCR are the bad guys when Lanius keeps making himself out to be one?" Ozzy downed the whiskey in one shot, then set the glass back down on the bar. "I mean, we've been at war with California for, what, almost two years? I sent Lanius to crush the bastards while I've built this place into the crown jewel of the Mojave that it is today. I can't keep turning people against the NCR, then have my army be a bunch of marauding psychopaths!" Ozzy extended his arms outwards, as if expecting an answer from Vulpes. After receiving none, Ozzy let his arms fall back to his sides.

Ozzy rubbed his forehead. "Vulpes, I like you. You're my best scout and message runner, but I need you to try and control the Legate. He really is nothing more than a dog that I let off the leash, but you have to be the one to speak sense to him. Think you can do that?" He stared at Vulpes, waiting for the man to conjure up some form of response. "I will try, but I make no promises. This is what you get for not listening to me and killing him," Vulpes replied.

Ozzy shrugged. "Fair enough. Anything else?" Ozzy refilled his shot glass, then sauntered towards one of the large couches, with Vulpes a few steps behind him. "We received word from one of the other scouts, this one from Oregon. Apparently, he uncovered a large bunker underneath a warehouse named EG-14 that bears the Enclave symbol. Inside, he found many advanced weapons and gadgets, the likes of which we have never even seen." The two men sat down on separate couches, a table separating them.  "I would suggest sending a squad of the Brotherhood out there to garner more information." Vulpes looked out the large window, towards the Long 15. Thoughts of his turbulent journey to the oasis city in the desert entered his mind, but left as quickly as they came.

Ozzy contemplated this news. "That won't work. I've sent the Brotherhood to strengthen Lanius's defenses, and I've got the tribes up north fighting all of those other savages." Vulpes looked at the Courier with confusion. "What tribe? The Kahns?" Ozzy turned his gaze toward Vulpes, setting his glass down on the table in front of him. "Let me explain.  The Brotherhood is a no-go, and when I say 'tribes'," Ozzy lifted his hands to make air quotations, "I mean the Powder Gangers, the Kahns, the Dead Horses, the Sorrows, and whoever else swore fealty to me. That entire group is being led by big Papa Kahn himself, under my order. I mean, fight fire with fire, right? Fight raiders and tribals WITH raiders and tribals." Ozzy leaned back into his couch, letting that information sink in to the former Frumentarii.

"How did you manage to convince the tribes from Utah to join your ranks?" Vulpes questioned, growing increasingly more curious with the details of the Courier's plan. "Well, after I saved their asses from the White Legs, I called in a favor with your favorite boy, Joshua Graham." Ozzy picked up his glass, swirling the drink around in his hand. "After explaining the situation to him, he agreed, but his holier-than-thou counterpart wouldn't allow it." Ozzy drank the contents of the glass in one heartfelt gulp. He shook his head to clear the blurriness from his vision. "Well, how did you persuade this pious imbecile?" Vulpes asked, waiting for the Courier to answer.

Images of violence, smells of gunpowder, and the sound of a human skull being crushed with a rock flashed through Ozzy's mind, reminding him just how he achieved his goal. He liked Daniel, but the poor fool got in his way, and that is unhealthy for anyone. "I managed to show him the error of his ways." Ozzy let those words hang in the air, letting Vulpes' imagination fill in the blanks. "Regardless, if we are short handed to investigate this bunker, then we will have to put that on the back burner of our priorities," Vulpes stated.

Ozzy stood from the couch and walked toward the window. "I mean, I don't see why I could't go myself. I've been cooped up in here for too long. I think some fresh, irradiated air will do me good." Vulpes stood from the couch and walked next to Ozzy, reflecting on this plan. "Who would handle affairs here while you are away? This city cannot run itself." Vulpes looked to Ozzy to see the face of callous command that Ozzy wore well. "The committee can handle things while I'm away. They've proven themselves before, I just need to explain what's happening." Vulpes nodded at these words, returning his gaze to the desert.

"Very well. I'm sure you will make the right decision. If that is all you need of me, I shall rest here for a few hours, then make my way back to the battlefield." Vulpes turned and walked toward the elevator.

"Vulpes." Ozzy called, still facing the window.

Vulpes stopped in his tracks and faced the Courier. "Tell Lanius that if I hear about anything else that might damage our reputation," a devilish grin appeared on Ozzy's face, "I"ll tie him to a cactus and leave him in the desert. I assure him." At this, Vulpes nodded, then headed back towards the elevator. After leaving the room, Ozzy reflected on the current status of his growing nation.

I should give him some time off. Lord knows that he's earned it. Ozzy turned toward the table and set his glass down. How the hell did Caesar manage to control that brute Lanius?

You know I could. Let ME talk to him. I'll make that pseudo-macho man squeal.

A sharp pain formed in the Courier's head at hearing those words. Ozzy lowered his head, driving away those thoughts. He couldn't let Him cloud his judgement. He had a goal, and he would not let his inner demons dissuade him from accomplishing it.

Tomorrow, he would set out for Oregon.

Frozen Wasteland

Cold.

I'm a desert guy, I can't stand the cold, damnit.

The sound of a heavy wind deafened the Courier, who slowly came to his senses. From what he could determine in his current position, he was laying face-down in something that was soft and frigid. Gently moving his limbs and body, the Courier found that the only injury he sustained was what felt like a bruise on his left arm. Why did he have a cut on his arm in the first place? For that matter, why the hell was he cold? What was he laying in?

Where the hell am I?

The new world, Laddy boyo. Get up or freeze to death.

Placing his hand underneath him, Ozzy lifted himself up to discover just what was happening. He didn't even need to open his eyes to tell him that whatever he was staring at was blinding, but he did so anyway. Upon opening them, he was disorientated when he saw a vast field of what appeared to be snow. The sky above him was an oppressing gray, and he could barely see ten feet in front of him. Shaking his head to clear his vision, Ozzy slowly stood up and surveyed his surroundings.

Snow. Miles upon miles of snow. Grimacing, Ozzy brought up his Pip-Boy and scrolled to the map. There was nothing, not even a defining landmark.

Goddamnit.

Letting his arm drop to his side, he felt his hand brush against the Mysterious Magnum. Remembering to check his equipment, Ozzy started feeling around his person to ensure that all of his weaponry was still there. 'This Machine', check. Magnum, check. 'Blood Nap', check. Everything else, good to go.

At least I'm not unarmed.

Out of options, Ozzy picked a direction and started walking.

I mean, maybe I'll run into someone who can point me towards civilization. If I don't have to kill them that is.

Everything within the frozen north blended in seamlessly. Billions of years of adaptation and evolution have given its denizens the ability to blend in with their surroundings. From the monstrous snow Yeti to the tiny Arctic Crab, everything was either able to blend into the harsh snow or naturally become a part of it.

Well, most things.

The intimidating figure hid behind a snow bank, a white fox in its sights. The figure, one tall, dark, carapace-covered changeling, was at a huge disadvantage from the other predators in the area. Her black horn poked out from amongst the snowbanks, her wings buzzed incessantly when she tried to swoop down on an unsuspecting meal, and her grimy blue hair did nothing to camouflage her being. Plus, she was absolutely fed up with snow being caught in her skin.

That's right. Stay right there.

Chrysalis thought to herself as the fox continued to prance and play in the snow with its mate. It had been two days since Chrysalis had a decent meal that wasn't based from crabs or snails. Her stomach growled, reminding her of her lack of nourishment. Normally, she would just zap the pair of them, frying them then and there, but being as malnourished as she was, she could not muster up the magical capability of doing so. Thus, she was forced to hunt the old-fashioned way. Of course, there was drinking water as far as the eye could see, but not a morsel of food in sight, at least for her.

Oh, suuuuuure, She thought, If a Yeti becomes hungry, he can devour the entire population of foxes, but when I want something, I have to spend days hunting it!

She adjusted herself, preparing to pounce over the mound of snow, ensnaring the naive pair of foxes. She was so close, and they were right there.

It's perfect. Nothing is going to keep me from my next meal!

Just as she was about to pounce, a high pitch noise followed by a blinding light materialized a few yards away. The event startled the foxes, who sprinted away back to their home. Chrysalis, who was absolutely livid at losing her next meal, screamed to the sky in a vain attempt to bring back her prey.

"GGGGAAAAAAHHHHH CURSE MY LUCK!"

Dropping back to the ground, panting, she decided to make her way over to the noise to investigate. Crawling up towards where she assumed the noise came from, Chrysalis barely peeked her head above the snow bank. What she saw, though, was beyond her comprehension. Laying there in the snow, was what looked like a giant ape, minus the fur. It seemed as though it was clothed, wearing something that didn't match its head color and a long, brown coat. She could make out what appeared to be a symbol on the back of the coat, but through the thick blizzard, she was unable to decipher what it was.

At that moment, the creature stirred on the ground. It appeared as though it was wearing armor of sorts, though the style and alloy it was composed of was a mystery. Attached to the creature in several places were what appeared to be metal... Sticks? There was one on the creatures back that she concluded was a sword of sorts, the blade being stained brown in several places. When Chrysalis saw the creatures face, she was surprised to see sunglasses. At least, that was her guess, some forms of sunglasses being in style in certain parts of Equus.

The creature began to right himself, various groans and moans coming from it. Now standing at its full height, it was even taller than Chrysalis, a fact that sent a chill down her spine. Just as this alien was about to look her way, she ducked down behind the snow bank, hoping that it was capable of civility. Quietly, she peered back over the snow bank, only to see the creature walking away from her.

Should I go after it? It could kill me... Then again, it may make a decent meal.

Using her honed hunting skills, she silently followed the creature, confident in her abilities to remain undetected, even to the most experienced hunter.

Whatever is following me is terrible at hunting.

It took all of about thirty seconds for Ozzy to determine that he was being followed. Even with the sounds of the blizzard circling around him, the sound of the loud, forceful footsteps warned him to watch his six.

Alright, if it's an animal, I'll kill it and cook it. If it's a person, I'll kindly ask for directions... Or kill them. Either one works.

That's right. Give into the resentment.

Shut up.

Continuing his march into the storm, Ozzy waited for the opportune time to throw this tail. Seeing his chance with a rather large snowbank, Ozzy picked up his speed and circled around the snow mound. Now on the opposite side, Ozzy climbed to the top of the mound and crouched down.

You're going to get it, whatever you are.

He unsheathed Blood Nap from his hip, and held it in his left hand.

Come to Daddy.

Shoot! Where did he go? Chrysalis asked herself, the creature now out of her sight.

From this distance, she was able to see that he ducked behind a peculiarly large snow mound, but his current position was unknown.

What if he heard me? Wait, impossible, I am a skilled huntress! There was no way that he heard me! She convinced herself.

Silently moving towards the snow mound, she peered around the other side, only to find that the creature had vanished. She made one, two, three passes around the mound, yet there was no sign of the creature.

Damnit! It got away!

She stomped her hoof into the snow. "Dammit!" She shouted, her voice almost muted by the storm. That was when she felt something fall on top of her. Hard.

As the stalkers back was turned, Ozzy made his move. Bowie knife in hand, he leapt down from the mound, directly onto the creatures back. A grunt of pain could be heard from, what Ozzy assumed was, a her. They toppled to the ground, Ozzy being directly on top of her, blade in one hand while the other was holding her head to the side, exposing her throat. The creature, immediately realizing the position she was in, began to hyperventilate. Her eyes widened upon feeling the blade pressed against her throat. She began twisting and turning her body in a vain attempt to throw Ozzy off of her.

Ozzy, not to be fooled by the beings fearful state, kept her pinned to the ground, blade firmly held in place. First contact with a new race or not, this thing could have tried to kill him. The thing beneath him kept making noises, pleading for its life, Ozzy guessed. He wanted to say something, but this was something that all of his experiences never prepared him for. Floating brains were one thing, but weird horse-bug things were a completely different story.

Fuck it, I'll wing it, Ozzy thought.

Unsure of how to proceed, he went off of the closest thing he knew about dealing with a people that may not speak his language.

"He-llo. Can you un-der-stand me?" He finished with a wide smile, one which apparently did nothing to calm the creatures nerves.

You're going to die, and this thing is going to kill you.

Chrysalis was panicking, unsure of how to save herself from this creature. The blade which she felt against her throat could slice open her neck at the flick of a hoof, and she would bleed out in the middle of a frozen wasteland. At this point, she wanted to speak to the being, but when she tried to speak, only rushed quivers of words came out.

Chrysalis yearned for a lot of things in that moment. She wanted her belly to be full. She wanted to be back in her hive. She wanted her invasion of that wretched city of Canterlot to succeed. She wanted to be warm and away from this monster who was preparing to end her life.

Just as she was about to black out from fear, the creature made noises which resembled words.

"He-llo. Can you un-der-stand me?"

The language was foreign to her, which heightened her fear even more. Was that a threat, a friendly hello? She may never know. Against all of her inhibitions and training, she did something that brought her back to her younger days, which she loathed to revisit. Feeling the warm liquid rush down her leg turned her face bright red, realizing how humiliating it felt to wet oneself as an adult. As if that wasn't torturous enough, she couldn't help but close her eyes as sobs began to rack her body.

Goddamnit, the thing pissed on my leg! Ozzy thought to himself.

Feeling the tepid liquid rush down his shin made him grimace. To top that off, it started crying.

I'd like you to kill this thing solely because it's fuckin' annoying.

I mean, if it's this scared of me, maybe I should just let it go.

You mean to tell me that NOW you have a heart? NOW you have a conscience?! Fuck off.

Pulling back the blade from the creatures throat, Ozzy heard its breathing return to a deep pant, not the hyperventilating it was a few moments ago. Still keeping her head to the ground, Ozzy knew that he would have to communicate with this thing to gain some direction, and more than likely apologize.

God bless the Think Tank. Ozzy thought to himself as he lowered his Pip-Boy towards the creatures mouth.

A remarkable addition to the Rob-Co Pip-Boy, created by the ingenious Think Tank of Big Mt., not to mention a small amount of aid from Dr. Mobius, was the TLK2ME1000-TRANSLATORMOGRIFIER™. The TLK2ME1000-TRANSLATORMOGRIFIER™, as coined by Dr. Klein, scans the DNA sample of a foreign race or being, and inputs their genetic code into the Pip-Boy, making it readable and even speakable to the owner of the Pip-Boy.

The only awkward part about the translator, however, is coming across a willing subject. In this case, she wasn't very willing, but it would be beneficial to the both of them. With his Pip-Boy directly in front of the creatures mouth, he brought the scanner towards her lips, which only made the creature more nervous. Ozzy, not knowing how else to console a creature that he was just about to murder, quietly shushed her, drawing out the syllable in the hopes of calming her down.

With her mouth barely opened, Ozzy scanned the trail of saliva that was dripping down from her tongue. Upon collecting the data, a new note was added into the notes section of the Pip-Boy. Scrolling over to that section of the Pip-Boy, the note was titled:

RACE: Changeling

FORM: Equine

PLANET OF ORIGIN: Equus

Changeling? Weird name.

With the new information stored on his Pip-Boy, Ozzy tried reading some lines from the notes, having to shout over the wind.

"CAN. YOU. UN-DER-STAND. ME?"

What was once an overwhelming sense of fear inside Chrysalis quickly manifested into confusion, with just the tiniest inkling of hope. The creature not only did not cut her throat open, but instead held a device up to her mouth, followed by the odd tingling sensation resonating from her tongue. Then, in perfect Equestrian, it spoke. Asking if she could understand it, which she could not believe that she did.

Soon, that once small iota of hope began to grow, to the point where she imagined that she could befriend this creature. The only thing that stopped her from getting carried away with that sentiment, though, was her realistic and justified skepticism. Sure, it spoke to her, and she could understand, but would it still try to eat her? To KILL her? To call in an invasion force that could decimate the entire planet of Equus?

There was only one way to find out. Her voice shaking, with nervousness still evident in her voice, and with her foremost concern in the front of her mind, her voice amplified over the storm.

"YES. P-PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME."

Alright, that's good. Now to decipher whether or not she's friendly.

Skepticism when meeting a new race is to be expected, and now was no different. If the Changeling was going try and kill him, Ozzy would like to put it down without a fight, not giving it the chance to actually best him. Looking back at his notes, Ozzy quickly formulated his next sentence, shouting. "ARE YOU FRIENDLY?" His tone indicating that he would kill her as quickly as he would let her up. "I AM. ARE YOU?" The creature said, focusing her eyes on Ozzy, or as much as she could from half of her head being buried in snow. "I AM FRIENDLY. I WILL LET YOU UP, BUT IF YOU TRY TO ATTACK ME, YOU WILL FAIL AND I WILL MURDER YOU."

Nice and gently, now. No sudden moves, The pair thought, trying to read the others body language.

Ozzy, being the cold-blooded bastard that he was showed none, and Ozzy was not familiar enough with the species that he could pick up on their patterns. Regardless, Ozzy slowly moved his hand away from Chrysalis' head, stood up, and took a few cautionary steps back. Still not completely trusting it, Ozzy kept his hand on his magnum, anticipating any form of attack that she could muster. Chrysalis, realizing that she was now free to move, slowly rose to all fours, the pain in her back from the aliens fall making her wince. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turned to face the being, seeing that he kept his hand on one of the strange sticks.

Minutes passed, and the pair stood there sizing each other up as the wind and snow blurred around them. Chrysalis, now with a better view of the alien, could pick out small details about his person. If the masculine voice was not enough to point to it being a male, the facial hair and large muscles were. The facial hair was red, strange for an alien creature, as she had assumed that most aliens would look... Not like he did.

Ozzy, for the most part, was astonished that this thing even had the energy to move. It looked as though it had not eaten in days, the visible ribcage being the main culprit. It was definitely an insect race, the tattered wings and carapace giving that away. Her tail was the same color as the hair on her head, and her total height was surprising. Ozzy realized that he stood just about a foot taller than her, give or take a few inches.

Realizing that they had just been standing there staring at each other, Ozzy was the first one to speak. "I'M SORRY FOR ALMOST KILLING YOU."

Might as well get that out of the way.

Praying that his apology would be accepted, as this was the first sentient being he had come across in this 'New World', he was eager to what it had to say. "YOU ARE LUCKY THAT I AM NOT IN FIGHTING CONDITION. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE DEAD." Her irritated look showed that she was still embarrassed at her natural reactions, but was at least trying to be civil. "I'M SURE I WOULD BE."

Name. Introduce yourself.

"MY NAME IS OZZY. WHAT IS YOURS?" Her eyes widened at his name, but decided to take the friendly route.

"I AM QUEEN CHRYSALIS, LEADER OF- uuuhh, THE FORMER LEADER OF THE CHANGELING HIVE." Her voice began proud as she spoke, but her inflection fell as she finished. She stared at 'Ozzy', waiting for a response.

First thing I come across, and it's an overthrown leader.

This'll be interesting. Time to turn on the charm.

"WELL, CHRYSALIS, DO YOU HAVE ANYWHERE WHERE WE MIGHT ESCAPE THIS STORM? I AM NOT A FAN OF WINTER CONDITIONS." Plus, the constant shouting was tiring his voice. "AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT KILL ME, I WILL TAKE YOU TO MY TEMPORARY REFUGE." She hollered back, anxious at the idea of inviting this alien into her temporary establishment. "I WOULD VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THAT, AND YOU HAVE MY WORD. LEAD THE WAY."

With that, Chrysalis began marching in the completely opposite direction that Ozzy had been walking.

I'll have to ask her how the hell she knows where she's going. I can't see shit.

She looks like she'd taste like boatfly meat.

Jesus Christ, shut up.

As the pair walked seemingly deeper into the storm, Chrysalis had one thought running through her head:

Please, do not make me regret this decision.

- Update On Story -

I want to explain something.