A Shitty Kind of Love

by DickDastardly

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Trixie, Comedy, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3683

Twilight finds out that Trixie needs something more to consummate their relationship. Turns out it's shit.

Twilight finds out that Trixie needs something more to consummate their relationship. Turns out it's shit.

(All characters depicted are 21 or older)

Published 2015-03-24 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-24 16:50:02 UTC

A Shitty Kind of Love

“Oh yes, do that again with your tongue, the Great and Powerful Trixie demands it!”

Twilight dug in eagerly with her muzzle, licking and nibbling at Trixie’s sex, caressing the unicorn’s clit with her nose, working the noises out of her one at a time. They had grown quite close since Trixie’s “redemption,” and ever since she had first offered herself to Twilight, their evenings together had been sleepless and satisfying.

“How about a little more alicorn magic, hmm?” Twilight’s horn glowed, a cloud of soft purple vapor appearing and then condensing and contracting into the shape of an equine shaft. Twilight leaned back and let it sink gently into Trixie, sending the unicorn moaning and writhing on their shared bed.

“Oh yes Twilight! Fuck me harder, fuck me more with your magical cock!”

Twilight leaned back and focused, moving the shaft back and forth inside of Trixie’s slit, the purple magical object now glistening with the unicorn’s juices. She closed her eyes and focused, making the shaft grow in size and extend backward, mirroring itself until it became a double-ended dildo. She pushed the far end into herself, panting as she felt filled with the size and sensation. Trixie had always been a bit of a size queen, and Twilight was now firmly converted to the advantages that size can provide. She fucked herself hard, using her magic to make the shaft twitch and pulsate inside of her like a real cock.

“Yes, more, Trixie loves this!” For her part, Trixie pushed down eagerly, now manipulating the double-ended dildo on her own, using her hips and legs to thrust it into Twilight and fuck her with it. She had grown to love her role as a power bottom, feigning protest as Twilight ravished her and hiding her delight at each lick, kiss or caress. No one could fuck her like Twilight, and she enjoyed herself immensely, although it was clear that Twilight was the one getting the most out of it.

“Take my big fat magical cock deep in your filthy unicorn cunt, you whore!” Twilight bore down with her magical cock, bending it and getting over Trixie. She now used her weight and the push of her haunches to force the cock into Trixie’s eager snatch, making the unicorn mewl and moan in delight. “How’s it feel to have a Princess’s magical shaft inside of you?”

“Please be kind to Trixie, Princess!” She feigned hurt at the insults, but really the dirty language just drove her on, the humiliation and insults turning her sex into a leaking faucet. She loved it when Twilight got aggressive like this, putting her down and putting her under the princess. There was just one thing missing, and after three months, she was dangerously close to bringing it up.

“Slut mares like you don’t deserve kindness!” It had taken Twilight awhile to get used to the verbal abuse, but it was always in good fun – no worse than when Rainbow Dash called her an “egghead” or Rarity made some slight about fashion. Really her words meant the opposite, as she cared deeply about Trixie at this point, and equally deeply about the connections they shared in the bedroom. No one had brought Twilight as much sexual satisfaction as Trixie, and every new game that Trixie came up with or new sex act she wanted to perform ended, without fail, in Twilight loving the unicorn all the more. She could hardly ask for a better lover! “Oh Celestia, I’m cumming!”

Twilight closed her eyes and let her orgasm overtake her, her whole body shivering as she came. The distraction disrupted her magic, causing her ethereal dildo to dissipate back into nothingness, but she was much too happy to worry about that. Her love-juices coated Trixie’s crotch, making the unicorn moan and turn away her head. As she blushed red, Twilight held her face in her hooves and kissed Trixie, her tongue pushing into the mare’s mouth.

Trixie returned the kiss, closing her eyes and kissing the princess back. This was always her favorite part, when she tasted Twilight after the kiss. She could taste and feel the Princess’s love for her, the way in which she unquestioningly tried out every kinky, perverted act that Trixie asked, and the way she always made Trixie happy. But she rarely, if ever managed to get Trixie to cum. And now, safe in the warm, loving embrace of afterglow, Trixie felt brave enough to speak up about it. “Trixie has something to say to the Princess…”

“What is it?” Twilight groaned and rolled over onto her back, her tongue lolling out as she felt herself overcome with desire and satisfaction. This was the best part of fucking Trixie, those minutes or even hours afterward where every part of her felt tingly and happy. It was better than any sort of drug, any kind of food, even better than reading – to a point, anyway. There were some things that only reading could solve, after all!

“Trixie...Trixie wants her princess to do something new with her, but she’s afraid the Princess won’t want to do it.” She gulped. “Or worse, that the Princess will hate her for asking…” Trixie turned her head and tapped her hooves together, somehow blushing an even brighter shade of red than she had during sex.

Twilight sighed, holding Trixie’s hoof and smiling. “Trixie, haven’t I always been open to your new games, your new ways of fooling around? I’ve learned so much with you, and you’ve helped me see a whole side of myself I never even knew I was missing out on.” She kissed Trixie on the cheek, then hugged her close. “I’m always up for anything that makes my Great and Sexy marefriend smile. Remember that time you showed up with the whips and chains? Or how about when you asked me to put vegetable shortening all over my hoof and shove it up your-”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need reminding!” She sighed, remembering back to all those fun little “experiments” that she had dutifully put Twilight through. She had hoped it would never come to this, that somehow one of those little kinks would grow into a big one, eclipsing what she had hoped she never really needed. But after three months without a true orgasm, she had begun to give up hope, and slowly resign herself to the necessity of scratching that itch. She just hoped Twilight would be understanding and receptive. “Trixie needs to confess something.”

Twilight moved between Trixie’s legs, kissing the unicorn’s stomach and then gently caressing and nibbling at each of her small, delicate mare-tits. “Is it her sexiness? Her amazing little cunny that’s the best thing a Princess could ever ask to play with? Maybe that her cute little titties need a good suckling?”

“It’s not that…” Trixie whined, not wanting Twilight to stop what she was doing, but still needing to get these words said before the moment passed. “Trixie...The great and powerful Trixie is…”

Twilight dug her nose into Trixie’s wet, puffy sex. “The sexiest mare I’ve ever met?”

“...A coprophile!” Trixie blushed bright red and pulled a pillow over her face, embarrassed to even have said it aloud. She’d done the research, dug up the most clinical and boring-sounding name for it that she could find, but deep down she knew what she really was – a shitmare, the kind of pony who could only really grind her gears with some big hot dollops of “chocolate.”

“A carpophile? You mean you’re into fish?” Twilight leaned back a bit, trying to push the pillow off of Trixie’s face. “Look if you mean you’d like me to introduce you to some seaponies, I know a few seamares down at the Equestrian Royal Docks who-”

“Not carpophile, coprophile – as in the ancient Equestrian word for ‘shit’. The Great and Powerful Trixie is a shitmare! She can’t get her rocks off without shit being involved!” Trixie buried her face all the harder, curling up her legs and tail, denying her intimate parts to Twilight’s advances. She knew it had to end here. Twilight would be disgusted and would throw her out, just like all the mares before her. Things always went this way for Trixie. She’d meet a mare that made her happy in every way but one, and when that one way came up, it would be back to the road and off to a new town. Ideally one that didn’t have a lot of gossip with the one she just left. Ex-fillyfriends tended to be rather cruel in spreading rumors.

“I...See…” Twilight sat down on her haunches, thinking it over a little. She found herself not as disgusted or repelled as she had thought she would be, but she didn’t see herself as immediately keen on the idea either. Poop, shit, road apples, horse nuggets, call it what you would, it was something that Twilight had pretty much consigned to the privacy of the bathroom all her life, and other than the occasional frank conversation with her doctor, it never came up. Excepting the occasional shitty prank from Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie. Who else would leave a bag of flaming dog crap at the entrance to her house? “Well I um...There’s worse things I suppose. You could be into vore, that’s not something anypony can actually do, or at least shouldn’t.”

“You hate Trixie now, don’t you?” Trixie emerged from her pillow only to roll over and bury her face in it. “Trixie will pack up her things and leave. She is sorry for who she is, but she can’t change it, even though she has tried very hard these past three months, to do everything she could think of so that she could stay the Princess’s favorite little playmate.”

“Trixie, I don’t hate you.” Twilight ran her hoof up and down Trixie’s back, then moved in for a hug. “I just...That’s not the sort of thing I’ve ever considered. I mean, I don’t even know what all is involved in that kind of stuff. I’ve heard rumors, but I learned a long time ago, that Rainbow Dash’s sexual rumors aren’t exactly to be trusted. I mean one time I asked her what a ‘Rusty Venture’ was and whoo-boy, she had me going for a good ten, fifteen minutes.”

“It means that the Great and Powerful Trixie loves to be shat on, that she loves the warm, gross feeling of hot horse manure all over her body and even in her pretty little mouth.” Trixie’s words were somewhat muffled by the pillow, but she came out loud and clear. “Trixie hates this about herself, and hoped she could get off with the Princess if she just tried enough things. But nothing has worked, and she can’t take it anymore! Trixie knows where she can go for such things, and which mares in the red light district are both willing and discrete.” Trixie moved to leave the bed, putting two of her hooves on the ground.

“Trixie, wait.” Twilight grabbed ahold of her closer fetlock, holding her to the bed. “Look, this isn’t something I’ve ever considered being ‘in to’, but neither was a lot of the other stuff we tried. Stuff I love, even. You know how much I love putting on a magical cock and fucking you senseless, don’t you? Or how much I enjoy it when you eat out my tailhole?” Twilight smirked. “Your willingness to do that one makes a lot more sense now, I suppose.”

Trixie sniffed, wiping a tear away from her eye. “What do you mean, Princess?”

“I mean...Fuck it, let’s try it. If this is really what you need in order to have the kind of mind-blowing orgasm you keep giving me, then what harm is there in me giving it a go?” Twilight bit her lip a bit. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Trixie half-lidded her eyes, staring incredulously at Twilight. “You could end up coated in shit, next to a mare who’s also coated in shit.”

“I end up coated in shit every time I help Applejack fertilize her crops. The only difference this time is that I won’t be wearing a pair of borrowed coveralls. Unless that’s like a thing with coprophiles? Like I said, I literally have no idea what all is involved here. Just that I’d like us to move it to the bathroom, if we’re going to do it, I’d like us to use a room that we can hose down before Spike gets home. Plus there’s the shower and mouthwash and all that other stuff I’m guessing we’re going to need when we’re done.”

Trixie tilted her head slightly. “You’re serious about this? You want to actually give it a go?” Trixie bit her lip. “This isn’t one of your pranks, is it? You should know that you aren’t quite as good at pranking as that pink friend of yours…”

Twilight trotted over to her private bathroom and flung open the door. “Does it look like I’m kidding?” She sighed. “Look, I’m not exactly over the moon about this, but if it’s what you need – and don’t think I haven’t noticed you faking your orgasms half the time we screw around – then I’m going to at least try to give it to you. I owe you that much for the way you eat me out at the very least.”

Trixie ran over, pouncing Twilight and hugging her tightly. “Oh Twilight, for this, the Great and Powerful Trixie will eat you out each and every morning, from sunrise until breakfast!”

“How is that at all different from what you’ve been doing to me?” Twilight giggled, shutting the door and locking it after Trixie walked inside. That put two locked doors between her and anypony else. If Trixie was so embarrassed to even ask about doing this, she could only imagine the literal shitstorm that would erupt if some prying eye happened to find out about it and hand it over to the tabloids. It was bad enough they were already spreading rumors about the fact that she was seeing Trixie for more than just official meetings.

Trixie blushed, sitting down between the toilet and the bath tub. “Trixie will make it extra special for her Princess!” She climbed into the tub, laying flat on her back and staring up. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth wide. “Sit on the side and just...Just go ahead, Trixie will let you know if she needs you to change anything…”

Twilight nodded and sat with her ass hanging over the side, her thighs pressed firm on the lip of the toilet. It was awkward to balance, and she had to grab onto the edge with both hooves to keep from falling over. Still, she raised her tail and relaxed, letting loose something she’d been holding in since before the two of them got started.

“Oh yes Twilight, shit on Trixie! Cover this dirty little shitmare in your poop!” She whimpered and began rubbing the droppings across her belly and chest, whimpering as the hot, disgusting muck coated her maretits and traced long brown hoof-prints over her stomach. Every bit was humiliating and gross and made a part of her recoil in disgust, but it was this very disgust that turned her on. Her sex grew ever wetter, and she reached her clean hoof down to caress herself. She worked her clit eagerly, her legs tensing and waving as she felt herself worked into a fervor.

For her part, Twilight did her best to neither lose her balance or laugh. She could hardly believe that she was doing this, much less that Trixie was getting so much enjoyment out of it. She’d always known that her unicorn friend was pretty kinky, that there was no perverted act in any book Twilight could find that Trixie wasn’t willing to try at least once. Still, having a Princess shit all over her chest was a bit extreme, even for Trixie. But how could Twilight pass on making anypony so happy?

Trixie continue to rub the shit across her chest, then slowly, tentatively, put her filthy hoof to her lips. The smell and taste were beyond repugnant, whatever Twilight had been eating, it was certainly not sitting well with her digestion. But the awfulness and stench just drove Trixie all the harder, and soon she was kissing and licking the brown hoof, sucking on it gently and panting, letting the horrible, disgusting taste enter her muzzle and make her gag. The heaving sent her hoof rubbing all the harder, sliding up and down and raking hard against the clit.

“So my little shitmare wants a taste of the chocolate huh?” Twilight climbed into the tub, careful not to step on Trixie or slip in the mess she was making. “Well then let your Princess give you all she can handle!” She grabbed the faucet with both hooves and unloaded on Trixie’s face, letting the entire contents of her bowel spill out. She began pissing too, all of her relaxed muscles giving way at the same time, sending mess piling out across Trixie and coating her completely from the shoulders up.

“Your shit is delicious, Princess!” It was far from it, of course, but the more hideous, gross and disgusting, the more that Trixie was aroused. She’d never found a pony so willing and able to shit on her like this, and she was going to take every bit of advantage from all this. She swallowed what fell into her mouth, rubbing and caressing the rest, working it into her hair and fur until they began to turn brown. She stank like she’d never stunk before, and as the piss trickled down her chest and between her mare-tits, she loved it all the more.

“You’re fucking disgusting, Trixie.” Twilight, now finished with her excretions, crawled back out of the tub and focused on Trixie’s slit. It was surprisingly free of shit, and considering how much Twilight had given her to play with, this could only be because Trixie wanted it this way. Using her magic, she pushed aside Trixie’s hoof and inserted another magical dildo into her, thrusting and vibrating it madly. “And you’re eating shit!”

“How can Trixie know if she loves the princess if she doesn’t eat her poop?” Trixie whimpered and whined, keeping her eyes closed and focusing on the reeking stench across her face and threatening to seep up from her mouth and throat. The dildo between her legs was pushing her to the limit, but it was the awful smell that shoved her over the edge. She whined and pushed against the edges of the tub as she felt herself wracked by powerful orgasm. She convulsed, whimpering and groaning as she thumped against the sides in delight. It hadn’t been this good in years, if indeed it had ever been this good at all. “Ohhh TWILIGHT!”

“Oh Twilight is right!” Twilight closed the curtain and used her magic to turn on the water, making Trixie squeal as the cold droplets hit her face. “Don’t expect me to kiss that mouth of yours until after you’ve been through every drop of mouthwash and toothpaste I have. Or to hug you until your fur goes from brown back to blue. I said it before, Trixie, you’re fucking disgusting.”

Trixie whimpered. “Does this mean that you are mad at Trixie and don’t want to see her again?”

Twilight giggled and passed in a bar of soap. “It means I want you cleaned up before we do anything else, Trixie. And don’t expect this to be a daily thing. It’s pretty...It’s gross. It’s definitely not what I’m in to. But when you came, Celestia damn it – I never took you for a squirter. I think you hit the ceiling!”

Trixie blushed and began to apply the soap liberally, the now warm water carrying her mess down the drain in small brown rivulets. “Trixie has always been a bit...Surprising...She just never wanted to admit it to any mare before.” She worked the soap aggressively, not stopping even when her fur was a pure soft shade of blue. It would take over an hour to clean this mess up properly, and even then she’d want to drain and scrub the tub then do a good soak to make sure everything was clean. No need to go out smelling like what got her motor running. “But you’d do it again?”

“On special occasions maybe, like your birthday, or our anniversary, or when you’ve been a good little shitmare and I think you deserve it.” Twilight passed in mouthwash, toothpaste and a toothbrush. “Please make sure that toothbrush goes into the trash, I don’t wanna ever have to think about where it’s been ever again.”

Trixie focused on cleaning her mouth and face for a few minutes, then turned to Twilight, sticking her head out from behind the shower curtain. “Trixie would like to say thanks, Twilight.”

Twilight kissed her on the nose. “Don’t mention it. Seriously. Never tell anyone what happened here, especially if you want me to do it again.”

Trixie went back under the shower. “It will be our little secret.”

“No, it’ll be our big, gross, disgusting secret that gives me the dry heaves if I think about it too hard.” Twilight put the lid down on the toilet and sat on it, grabbing a hoof file and beginning to file her hooves. “But if it’s what my dirty little shitmare needs to truly be happy, I’m willing to do it. Sometimes. Now clean up nice and good, so I can hop in there and make you all dirty again. But with just my magical futa-cock this time. I think I’ve perfected a spell that’ll let me squirt inside of you if I do it right. And if not, then we’ll just have to keep doing it until I get it right…”