The Apple's Science

by Skeeter The Lurker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 10377

When Twilight gets an object from Canterlot Univeristy, it reveals a fascinating fact about one of her close friends...

Twilight, being the foremost expert on magic, is no stranger to getting oddities to research and figure out for schools and companies.

But when she gets a device meant to help pegasus and unicorn ponies find prime places to plant and farm, she finds something she wasn't quite expecting.

Maybe it has to do with a familiar trio of apples serving as a company logo...

Click here for editing credits and special thanks!

Published 2015-03-27 01:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-18 20:34:24 UTC

Chapter 1

The palace was quiet, not that Twilight was complaining, seeing as it gave her some peace at long last. After the things she and her friends had been through as of late, sitting around doing absolutely nothing was just fine.

“Except it’s not,” Twilight said to herself as she jumped off her crystal throne.

“What’s up, Twilight?” Spike asked, not even bothering to look away from his comic book.

“How can everypony be so nonchalant about there being nothing to do?”

“But weren’t you saying a few hours ago how nice it is that things are finally quiet?” Spike licked his finger and flipped to the next page. “Or was I imagining the whole thing?”

“Yes, I did say that…” Twilight started, ears folding back. “But I also can’t stand the silence anymore. I need to do something, Spike.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “What about all that paperwork you had to do for the princesses?”

Twilight smiled. “Took care of that an hour after it was delivered.”

Spike lowered his comic enough to make eye contact with Twilight. “The financing deal Rarity wanted you to oversee?”

“Done and done.”

“The organization of your new library?”

“Please. I did that while sleepwalking.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Was that the reason Luna was here for two nights in a row?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Luna was here?”

Spike sighed. “Nevermind.” He muttered something under his breath about ‘never getting recognition she deserves’ before looking up again. “Well, in that case, there’s nothing left to do,” Spike said as he flipped another page of his comic. “Why not go out for the rest of the day? Maybe get some fresh air and read a book like you used to do? You’ve been spending far too much time cooped up in here since the whole Tirek fiasco.”

Twilight hated to admit it, but Spike was right. Ever since Tirek was vanquished, she had done nothing but stay in her new palace. There had been no new threats to Equestria, and aside from her royal duties, there was nothing to do. Maybe I do need to get out for a bit.

There was a knock at the double doors to what Twilight and the others had come to refer to as “the strategy room” on account of the life-like map on display.

“I’ll get it,” Spike said, hopping off his small throne and making his way to the door, his claws clicking against the crystalline floor.

“Oh, hello there, Mr. Spike. I have a package for Ms. Twilight,” said Ditzy Doo as soon as the door was opened.

“I’m Princess Twilight’s personal assistant,” Spike said, a wide smile forming on his lips. “I can sign in her stead. Thank you.”

Ditzy reached into her duffle bag, and, despite going against the rules of physics, pulled out a package that was far longer than she was. She handed the parcel over and the clipboard to sign, Spike being stunned by the size of the box. How in the world did she carry this in her bag? Spike decided it was best not to ask questions and just opted to sign the clipboard. After giving Spike a salute, Ditzy left the premises just as quickly as she had arrived.

“You’ve got a package,” Spike said, walking back to Twilight with the parcel in his claw. “Kinda heavy and big too. Wonder what it could be.”

Twilight wrapped the box in her telekinesis, lifting it out of Spike’s claws. “Maybe it’s another ‘thank you’ gift from the people of Equestria.” She rolled her eyes and grinned. “As if I need more of those.” She glanced sideways, down a hall, and into a room full of all kinds of assorted knick-knacks and plaques, the grand majority saying something along the lines of “thank you.”

With care, she tore off the paper wrapping and read the label. Twilight’s eyebrow rose as the sender’s name became clear. “Canterlot University? What on earth could they be sending me?”

“Maybe an honorary degree or another trophy?” Spike replied.

Twilight smiled and lightly shook her head in reply. With the package held firmly in front of her, she trotted down the hall to her study as thoughts swam through her head. Does Professor E. Matter still reside there? What could they want to send me? Did they ever get my 87 page thesis on cloud manipulation?

Suddenly, she banged her knee against her desk with a hard “umph.” Grumbling, she set the package upon her desk, stared at it for a fraction of a second, and opened it with the care of a foal with a present during Hearth’s Warming Day. After the sound of tearing and ruffling paper passed, Twilight stepped back with a puzzled look. She could say she had no clue what to expect, but it most certainly wasn’t whatever this was.

The object was a rod of about a single yard, made from a most exquisite breed of redwood tree, and split at the one end so to resemble a Y. At the center of the Y was a crystal—a glance suggested quartz or cubic zirconia—with the telltale glow of magic.

The longer part of the Y was engraved with various runes and sigils, presumably to act as a conduit for whatever spell the crystal contained. That, she figured, was to help direct the spell to whatever it was pointed at. The two smaller arms of the Y were completely unremarkable save for the coverings on the endings of them. This, Twilight noted, was a unique rubber composite mixture that would allow both unicorns and pegasi to hold it with ease. Even more curious, the rubber mix was insulated from magic.

So, whatever the object was, it was able to be held by a flying pegasus or a unicorn for… some reason or another. It would, she noted, be nice for whoever made this to practice a bit more on magic in general. As is, she had no clue what the spell was for, and she wasn’t going to risk triggering it just yet. That was a good way to cause a problem she had no desire to deal with. Her encounter with the royal plunger taught her that lesson quite well.

And so, Twilight sat at her desk mulling over possible, practical, and impractical uses for this object —mostly the impractical— at least, until a clearing of a throat caught her attention.

“Y’know… You could read the letter that came with it.” Spike pointed to a lone envelope mixed in with the massacred parcel box. “Might say what it is or where it came from.”

Twilight rubbed the back of her head and gave a chuckle. “Uh, right! I, uh, knew that…”

“Uh huh. I’m heading out. Rarity asked me to help with some errands.”

“Ok, have fun…” she said absentmindedly, her eyes poring over the details in the letter. Spike rolled his eyes.

“I’m probably going to rob the treasury of the Crystal Empire and eat the Crystal Heart.”

“Ok, have fun.”

Spike rolled his eyes and walked out the door. Probably for the best, he mused. Twilight was always a pain when she got like this.

To Princess Twilight
From the Desk of Dr. E. Matter

First of all, I would like to extend a hoof in gratitude over your work dealing with the many threats that have recently started to appear all around this fine nation of ours. I would also like to express gratulations on behalf of the entire staff over your recent coronation. Many of us knew you would be going places, but few could have really expected you to become a princess. We hope that your new role as ruler will not impact your quest for knowledge.

Now, on to the matter at hoof. The reason I sent you this device is because it has come to our attention that the developer, Pomum Science and Co., has neglected to properly calibrate this to the necessary arcane standards that the University prides itself in. As such, we sent the device over to you so you can properly calibrate it and also run various tests to ensure its quality, as well as document the procedure for Pomum Science and Co. to use in future endeavors.

You’re probably wondering what this device is. The short of it is that it’s a specialized rod designed to aid pegasi and unicorn farmers overcome the lack of a ‘sixth sense’ that earth ponies are known to possess when it comes to caring for the land. This is due to the recent explosion of land expansion occurring both to the north and the south. As such, it is absolutely crucial that the device works without fail. Otherwise, the lives of thousand of farmers and pioneers will be put at risk.

I hope this package finds you at an opportune time. While I am aware that you may have various royal duties to oversee, I would ask that this matter be looked into as soon as it is possible. The quicker we can deduce what is wrong with the device, the sooner we can press Pomum Science and Co. into full-scale production.

Sincerely: Dr. E Matter. Headmaster of the Canterlot University

Setting the letter on the table, Twilight turned her attention the newly identified object. Grasping it with her magic, she gave it a cursory scan based on what she now knew, and sure enough she found the telltale traces of spell designed to detect the most fertile place to plant.

Looks like they tried to make a completely new spell based off of earth pony magic, Twilight mused, setting down the rod and bringing a hoof to her chin, but the spell matrix is… rough. Amateurish. Almost like the creator wasn’t even a unicorn. Turning to look at her extensive collection of books, scrolls, and recorded crystals, a new thought entered her mind: Who or what, exactly, is Pomum Science and Co. and why have I not heard of them?

Sucking in a breath, Twilight yelled, “Spiiiiiiiike! I need a book!”

After a pause, Twilight mentally slapped herself. Spike left for the day, he even told her as much. Something about the crystal heart? Whatever it was, she figured he’d be alright. With that out of the way, she walked over to her bookshelf, and plucked the book that listed all the known businesses in Equestria.

However, she was surprised to find nothing. Nada. Zip. A scan of the contents showed no such company even existed. After what became a solid two hour search through as many books she had on businesses—as the newly formed tower on her desk would attest—she was displeased to note that not one of them made mention of this company. This, she figured, told one major thing:

Pomum Science and Co. was newly formed, as in, within 10-15 years.

Growling in frustration, Twilight slammed her hoof down on the desk, causing an encyclopedia to fall upon her head. With a groan, she wiped the small tear that had formed in her eye before plucking the offending book up to see which volume it was.

It was volume one. And even more curious, it was opened to apple. Twilight began closing it when something caught her eye on the page; a partial list of translations for apple. One of which, she noted with surprise, was Pomum.

She blinked. And she blinked again. Could Pomum Science and Co. actually be called Apple Science and Co.? A silly name, but, then again... Picking up the device sent to her again, she scoured it for any sign of a logo, mark, or whatever that could prove her theory was—hopefully—wrong.

But sure enough, she found it. Sitting right under the magic crystal was a small logo she initially mistook as part of the glyphs: a small set of three apples connected by an open circle.

Her jaw dropped as she began to connect the dots. No way. No. Way. No freaking way is that real. Dashing back to her desk, she once again opened the various books piled on it, this time almost certain of what she was looking for. And she was right.

She found plows. She found hoes. She found millers. She found fermenters. She found fertilizers and pesticides. All of it designed for pegasi and unicorns. All of them with the same three apple mark. But no further info on who or what made up the whole of the company itself. Not that it mattered, all the questions she had vanished as a newer, bigger one took their place:

Could Pomum Science and Co. be who I think it is…?

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense—in a sort of weird, bizarro-like way. The apples were a huge family. They had members living in just about every city in Equestria, and a few abroad in the furthest reaches of civilization. They didn’t show it or flaunt it, but they had huge political push with the nobles, and as the largest producers of apples and apple accessories, they no doubt had an unfathomably large bank account to their name. What’s more, it was no secret that Ponyville itself was founded by the Apple family, one of those members still being around despite the event taking place some three-hundred years earlier.

Farmers with deep pockets? I can understand. Secret politicians that can shape how things are run around Equestria? Pushing it, but still possible. Scientists that have developed a whole catalog of farming equipment? The more Twilight tried to think it to herself, the more the whole notion seemed like a bad joke. Then again, stranger things have happened around Equestria…

Twilight closed the encyclopedia and picked up the device off the table. There was only one way to get to the bottom of it all.

“I mean, Applejack’s the element of Honesty for goodness’ sake, of course she’s going to tell me the truth.” She laughed to herself, getting brief flashbacks to the time Applejack had been turned into a liar by Discord...

...And the time she lied about her situation with the rodeo medals.

...And the time she lied about her state of being during apple-bucking season.

“In retrospect, maybe Dash should have gotten the Element of Honesty, and AJ should have gotten the Element of Loyalty…”

A little flight and few short teleports later, Twilight found herself at the gateway to Sweet Apple Acres. She took a moment to gaze out at the magnificent apple trees and noted that they seemed almost ripe for picking. Taking a breath and exhaling, she opened the gate and trotted up to the house.

Granny Smith, who was snoozing on the porch, woke up the second Twilight got within earshot of her. She instantly shot a hoof toward the barn. “Barn.” Granny said simply, and promptly fell back to sleep.

Twilight smirked at that, wondering if the elder mare knew about Applejack’s—possible—secret. If she didn’t, well… Something for them to talk about later, she figured.

Approaching the barn, Twilight heard a thump. Opening the door revealed Applejack moving a freshly made hay bale over toward the pile of finished ones. Heaving a sigh, Applejack turned towards the creak of the door, spotting Twilight at the entrance.

With a large smile, Applejack trotted toward her. “Well howdy there, Twilight!” she exclaimed, throwing a hoof around her friend and pulling her into a tight embrace, “Fancy seein’ ya here!”

Twilight returned the embrace, smiling nervously, her plan of attack crumbling upon the realization she had no real clue how to actually ask. “Oh, uh, hi Applejack. Just thought I’d, uh, stop by and say hi.”

“Issat so? Mighty fine to see you here.” Cocking her head to the side, Applejack stared at Twilight quizzically. “Look’s like you have somethin’ on your mind.” She noted the yard-long rod Twi was carrying. “...and somethin’ on yer hooves. Anythin’ I can help you with?”

“Well. I’m not sure, actually. Looking at it now, it seems really silly of me.”

“Oh? What would that be?”

Using her magic, Twilight opened her satchel and withdrew a piece of paper with the Pomum’s company logo on it and levitated it in front of Applejack. “I got this from Canterlot University. It’s the logo to a company specializing in farming for pegasi and unicorns. I was wondering if you happened to know anything about it.”

Twilight missed the look of uncertainty cross Applejack’s face. She didn’t, however, miss the sudden stammer and strain her voice picked up. “I, um... I-uh, I don’t know anythin’ ‘bout that at all! No siree!”

Snapping her head around, Twilight shot a questioning glance at Applejack. “Are you sure…?”

“Er... positive!”

“Because did you know that Pomum was another word for ‘apple’?”

“I, uh... I-I don’t quite get why you’d say that...”

“And that the company that has that logo is roughly 10 to 15 years of age?”

“W-what, what does that have to do with, uh, anything?”

“Matches up with half as old you are, actually.”

“Oh… uh.... what a mighty fine coincidence!”

“Not to mention, like I said before, they make farm equipment exclusively?”

“Well... anypony could do that!”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Applejack…”

“What! I don’t know nothin’ about no Pomum Science and Co.!”

Twilight blinked. “I never said their name.”

Applejack took a step backwards. “W-well… well I-I-I, I test stuff for them!”

“Then you know them!”

Applejack was the one to narrow her eyes now. “Now, lookee here, just because I test stuff out for ‘em doesn’t mean I’m all ‘friendship is magic’ with that lot.”

“I’m not saying you’re a friend to the company, Applejack. I’m saying that you know who they are, which is the exact information I am looking for.”

“Like I said, I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that lot.”

“But you just said you tested stuff out for them! How can you test stuff for a company, and then turn around and claim you don’t know them!”

Applejack sat on her haunch and put her hooves on the side of her head. “For once in your life Twi, trust me when I say that this is somethin’ you’re best not knowin’ ‘bout.”

Twilight took a deep breath and straightened her chest and neck, taking on the most regal pose she could. “Applejack, this isn’t just a matter of me being curious. I was sent this letter by the University. The product’s magical properties are faulty, and they want a fix before anypony who purchases this gets hurt, or worse. This is as close to a matter of national security as it gets.”

At Twilight’s words, Applejack sprung up and snatched the device right out of Twilight’s telekinetic grasp. “Inconceivable! How can the magical matrix not be working properly after so many weeks of extensive testing and calibrations! Oh, this isn’t good. I am going to have to re-draft the whole thing if… if—” Applejack cut herself off, her ears perking in realization of what had just happened. Slowly, she turned back to face Twilight, grin forming in her lips. “Ah mean, gee, this here contraption sure is mighty complex. Ah have never seen nothin’ quite like this before.” She started to stick the apparatus in her ear, grin never wavering. “Silly Applejack, that doesn’t go there! Seriously, who’s a silly pony? This mare, right here!” She placed a hoof over her chest and widened her grin.

Twilight could only stare at her friend with a raised eyebrow and mouth agape. At that exact moment, Big Macintosh walked into the barn to drop off some sacks of apple seeds. He looked into his sister’s eyes and shook his head, his expression deadpan, but still surprisingly disappointed. He stretched his shoulders and back and walked off just as suddenly as he had arrived.

Applejack, after holding on to her grin for what must have been five minutes, finally sighed and sagged her head. “Inconceivable…” she whispered under her breath. She looked up to her friend and gave a weak smile. “Guess Big mac’s right. I’ve been caught red-hooved.” She extended her hoof, holding out the apparatus she had snatched from Twilight. “Ya better hold on to this here device.”

Twilight, hesitantly wrapped her telekinesis around the item and set her gaze upon Applejack. She half expected her to start another ramble about not knowing anything, but was instead shocked when the farm pony got up and motioned Twilight to follow.

The pair walked up to a seemingly normal wall of the barn whose only exceptional quality was its overabundance of rusted farming tools.

“Twilight, sugarcube. Ever heard of the term, ‘things aren’t always what they seem?’”

Twilight’s only reply was a weak nod.

Applejack smiled. “Well, there’s a reason why such a term is valid.” She reached out for a particularly rusted hoe and pulled on it. At first, it looked like it would topple over. but right before it hit the ground, a loud click rang, followed by the hoe’s sudden return to the wall. Seconds later, a loud hiss emanated from behind the pair. Twilight and Applejack both turned to face what looked to be some kind of hatch that had sprung open, revealing a chrome box.

“An… elevator?” Twilight asked, her mind still unable to fully process the sight before her.

“Ya bet! But not just any elevator!” she pushed her friend right into it, hopping in herself soon afterwards. “It’s the gateway to a wondrous place! Past the bolted doors where impossible things may happen that the world’s never seen before!”

Slapping a red down arrow, the elevator began its descent into the unknown. Twilight, whose wings were slightly open in reflex, glanced over toward Applejack. Not only was she seeing one of her best friends in a whole new light, she also seemed exceedingly happy to be able to reveal her secret to someone worthwhile. At least, she assumed so, going by the fact that Applejack was prancing in place with a large grin plastered on her face.

Applejack looked over to her friend, grinning. Seeing the concern and worry, she stopped prancing and looked to the floor wistfully. Calmly, she took a breath and looked back toward Twilight.

“Twilight, we’re farmers. We’ve always been farmers, and we always will be farmers.”

“Uh?”

“Looky here, missy, just ‘cause I happen to invent things doesn’t mean I don’t actually grow apples. This mark on my rump means apples are in my blood.”

“Ok?”

Applejack sighed. “I’m probably going about this like a clown pony goes about actually bein’ in the rodeo.” She turned toward Twilight. “See, my family got our start in farming, yes, but we’ve always been more clever than the average pony. That has lead to us bein’ skilled in many, many, many areas you wouldn’t actually expect. Such as this, me being a scientist and inventor.”

Twilight’s face went from nervous to confused. “Wait, all of you? Your whole family is like this?”

“Clever people and geniuses? You bet’cha. You kept saying that Pomum meant ‘apple’. You’re right, but also wrong. It actually means ‘fruit’ in neightin. Neat, huh?” Applejack smirked.

“But, wait… fruit…?” Twilight blinked. If that was the case… “Then what about the three apple logo?”

“Shucks. That’s because I happen to be the founder and CEO of it all. You’re a clever pony, Twilight. Surely you can think of what the ‘and Co.’ part of it means if I’m the ‘Science’ part.”

Placing a hoof to her jaw Twilight lapsed into a concentration. If Pomum means fruit, and Applejack is the science part of it… Then that means… “...It’s a family company… All of the Apples are in on it…”

Applejack broke into a large grin and clopped her hooves together. “Bingo! You got it! Pomum Science and Co. is a family owned and operated company! We Apples make up the science part of it all. You ever heard of the Bananas?”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. “The… the only earth pony noble house in Canterlot…? No way…”

“Yes way! They’re relatives of ours! That there is the legal team for us! The Oranges in Manehattan? They handle the PR work. The Mangos? They’re the ones who handle fabrication. The Peaches? They do all the customer service and quality control. The Blueberries? Exporting!”

“What about the Pears?” Twilight asked, recalling how she had heard the name once.

Applejack’s expression darkened. “We don’t talk ‘bout that lot.”

Twilight started to shake as the sheer implications of what Applejack was saying hit her. Applejack, on a roll, continued on. “Heck, you probably already know how big a family I have. Plus I already told you this family is a lot more clever than the average pony. I… just happen to be the brightest o’ the bunch.”

“But to do so much in so little time…”

“Twilight. You saw us make a barn in what? Half a day? And that was with only a few Apples. You really think the entire clan couldn’t establish ourselves in such a way in ten years?”

Twilight tossed the idea around in her head a bit. Looking at it that way, she had to agree. If they could do that in half a day… There really wasn’t much to stop them from doing anything they set out to do as a whole.

Somehow, that thought scared her deeply.

A sudden rumbling of gears alerted them to the fact that the elevator was arriving at wherever it was arriving. Applejack perked up. “Ah, we’re here!” Stepping out of the elevator, Applejack walked over to a small metal desk, picking up a set of goggles. Placing them on her head, she then walked over to a small metal door and opened it. “This way, please.”

Twilight walked through the door, the nervousness returning as she beheld the massive double bulkhead doors in front of her. If she had to guess just how far down they were, this outright demolished it. Each was as tall as Applejack’s barn and just as wide, complete with massive vault-like locks that could rival the most secure bank in Equestria. Twilight had no doubt that this was the most secure place in the world save for Princess Celestia’s own vault.

Applejack stopped in front of a small podium complete with a hoof reader on it and turned towards Twilight. “Now, as one fellow scientist to another, you can understand when I say ‘please follow proper protocol in the lab’ and be very cautious of what you touch.”

Twilight could only nod dumbly, still staring at the doors.

“I wouldn’t worry,” Applejack continued, “most everythin’ in here is safe. The chances of you getting hurt are quite slim, unless you ignore the obvious signs like Pinkie Pie did and still does at times.” She shook her head in confusion. “I’ve never seen a pony take that much electricity and still stand, much less bounce.”

That caught Twilight’s attention. “Wait, what? Do… Could you know the secret behind the Pie Sense…?”

Applejack laughed and pressed her hoof to the pad, triggering lights and klaxons to blare in warning and alarm. “When it comes to the Pinkie sense, It’s a mystery that’s beyond science. It’s best to just follow it as is.”

With a rumble that was louder than the elevator, the massive doors began to slide open. Applejack smiled wider and made a gesturing motion with her hoof. “Welcome to my lil’ wonderland.”

Chapter 2

Applejack, grinning like a foal in a candy shop, placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Hey, wanna see somethin’ fancier than a penguin at the Galloping Gala?”

Without waiting for Twilight to reply, Applejack put a hoof to her mouth and whistled. Seconds later, several flying contraptions Twilight had never seen in her life approached the pair. The chrome machines were the size of a pony’s barrel and shaped like eggs with a single glowing optic shaped like an oversized spying glass. The upper half of each machine was transparent, showing off dozens of small gears moving in unison, no doubt powering the propellers that kept the eggs aloft.

“Neat huh?” Applejack said, her smile only growing wider. “Some of my first ever creations. Call the little buggers ‘helpers’. Made them out of scrap metal and gears and modified them later, when I had more of a mechanical touch.”

Twilight’s eyes focused on the machine’s glowing ‘eye’. “Are those things powered by magic?”

“Shoot, no! Made these buggers way before I even knew how to control magical energy sources. These little fellas are battery powered.” She giggled. “Had to use plain old batteries at first.” Applejack’s expression grew grim. “Can’t tell ya how much money I blew just keeping these little fellas operational back them. I decided that it was better to give them somethin’ with more of a kick than just plain double AA batteries. That’s when I had a breakthrough!” She turned to one of the machines and grabbed it out of the air. The propeller stopped spinning as the machine seemingly went into a slumbered state. She flipped the back open, revealing a pair of seemingly mundane AA’s. “See these? The’re actually stronger versions of the batteries used by everyday folk’ Neat, huh?.”

Twilight blinked. “But how can there be more powerful batteries than what we have now? They look the same to me.”

“Why, by using somethin’ nopony would have otherwise: lead-acid. Makes them rechargable too! Neat, huh?”

Twilight’s eyes grew wide. “That’s… brilliant. Simple and cheap, albeit dangerous.”

Applejack laughed. “Oh, come now sugarcube, you know as well as I do that without danger, there can’t be progress!” She let the machine go, which returned to its flying the instant it felt the grip of her mistress lossen. “And speaking of progress,” she clapped her hooves together, at which point the machine’s midsection started to open. Small clawed appendages holding a labcoat and two pairs of black rubber hoof coverings were presented to Applejack, who nodded.

In a flurry of movements that Twilight had trouble keeping up with, the machines not only tied Applejack’s hair in a tight bun and brushed her coat, but also placed the labcoat over her and fitted the hoof coverings snugly. By the time the machines retreated, a whole new mare stood in front of Twilight. Had she not known who it was already, could have been confused for a scientist under the employ of the Canterlot University.

“Now then, why don’t I show ya ‘round?”

Applejack adjusted her collar and began to trot off, smiling in such a way that showed she was truly enjoying herself.

Coming to a stop almost as soon as she started walking, Applejack turned her head to look at Twilight. “Ya can ask, ya know.” She said with a sly smirk.

“Uh, ask what?”

Still smirking, Applejack replied with a gesture of her hoof to the surrounding area. “Um… HOW… big is this place?”

Twilight’s ears dropped. “Oh, yeah. That kinda slipped out of my mind after the little bot display.”

This got a huge smile from the farmer-turned-scientist pony. “Half as big as Canterlot itself.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped as she took in that revelation. There was simply no way that was possible, and she was about to voice her disbelief before she was cut off by Applejack.

“Allow me to answer that before ya ask.” Sucking in a lungful of air, she turned to nothing in particular and let loose a yell, “Computer! Show Twilight how big this place here is!”

In response, a smooth voice answered in mere second. “As you requested.”

Up on the ceiling of the lab, a large screen descended and powered on. Cycling through what appeared to be random information, three maps appeared on it. One was of Canterlot, of course. The other was naturally of Applejacks lab. And smack dab in between them was both maps superimposed onto one another. And sure enough, the lab Twilight found herself in big enough to not only house the entirety of Canterlot Castle, but also the whole of the downtown area and at least half of the noble’s residential district.

“But how do you get around this place so easily? It takes a good half hour to get from one end of the downtown area to the other, and that’s even if you use the main thoroughfare!”

Applejack shrugged. “Powered scooters, runic teleport pads, and a prototype portal gun, mostly.”

“Portal gun?”

“Eeyup. Was kinda tricky figuring out the quantum bits to it. I came so close to making a whole new branch of math just to get the equations right. Even had to visit an insane asylum for some help.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, other scientists tried and went mad from the research. Best if you don’t question it. Anyway, would you mind givin’ me one second? Computer! Give me a run down on the current experiment statuses.”

“Yes ma’am. Experiment 344 (codename pie) is in…” Twilight could only nod dumbly, still awestruck by what she was seeing. That and the fact that there was something odd about the computer voice. She just couldn't figure out why.

Then a thought hit her. “Applejack… is… is that Princess Celestia’s voice for the computer?”

Applejack turned to her. “Knew ya’d notice that right quick. It is indeed her voice. In fact, the computer itself is an AI based off of her majesty herself!”

“You… have an AI?” Twilight asked.

“That is correct, and I am a fully functional sentient computer mapped directly from your mentor’s brainwaves. Only instead of magic, I have technology to use. You may call me CelestiAI.”

Twilight looked at the computer screen. “...CelestiAI?” She saw Applejack nod and could almost feel the computer do the same. “What a stupid name…”

“It was her idea.” Applejack said with a shrug.

Applejack clapped her hooves. The image upon the ceiling vanished, leaving instead what looked to be nothing but a white void.

Something about the white expanse unnerved Twilight. To her, it felt like the first time she had really stopped to look into the night sky as a foal. Truth be told, she was still wrapping her head around what she had just been a witness to. Computers and software were pretty advanced in Equestria, but no where near the level here, complete with a computer not only larger than all of Canterlot itself, but one capable of displaying images with such vibrant colors and resolution, she could have sworn the image was real.

Applejack noticed her friend’s flabbergasted stare. “Now sug, I know you must feel like an ant seein’ a pony for the first time, but you gotta understand the sudden situation ya put me in. I was plannin’ on revealing all of this to you little by little, but ya just sorta sprang up on me like a jackrabbit in a carrot patch.”

Twilight blinked. Though she tried to deny it at first, she couldn’t help but feel some resentment forming in the pit of her belly. She turned to her friend. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Applejack rubbed the back of her head. “See, funny story ‘bout that. I really did want to tell ya’ll about it—cross my heart, hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye,” She made the motion Pinkie Pie had shown them all some time ago—the ‘unbreakable’ vow that, ironically enough, Applejack herself had sort of broken back when they had visited Dodge Junction. “But the timing was never right. I mean, this here is a lot to take in.”

Twilight’s only reply was a meek nod. Applejack’s statement was an understatement.

“I first wanted to tell ya right after we became good friends and we helped save Princess Celestia, but I figured ya needed some time to rest after the whole Nightmare Moon fiasco. ‘Sides, ya started to really get a lotta work from the Princess soon after.

“I later tried to tell ya during the apple bucking season ‘bout a year ago, but gosh darn it if Big Mac didn’t tick me off and made me want to do things the old fashioned way.” Applejack laughed. “Surprise surprise, I screwed that up harder than a non-unicorn tryin’ ta cast magic an’ fly at the same time.

“From there, thing’s just sorta kept getting outta hoof for me. Tried to tell ya during the Gala as a thanks for getting me ‘n the others tickets, and things just sorta went south. Tried again to tell ya soon after, ‘n Discord showed up to screw things up more than a tornado through a field of tumbleweeds. Tried again a few month’s later, and yer big bro’s wedding and the whole debacle with them shape-shifter varmints came nosin’ in. An ya know the rest. Crystal empire, more nonsense in between, and then yer coronation. Finally figured I could say somethin’ when, wham! Tirek out of freakin’ nowhere!” Applejack sighed. “Ya can probably see why tellin’ ya ‘bout this has been difficult.” She chuckled, “sometimes, it feels like we’re just part of some show or sitcom or, something.”

Twilight gave the massive laboratory another sweep. “I’m just… lost for words, really. I’m actually glad you never told me about this. I don’t think I would have been able to handle all of this, and whatever else was making our lives difficult at the time.” She blinked a few times before finally settling her sight back on Applejack. “How in the wide-wide world of Equestria did you manage to keep all of this secret from everypony else? Does your family even know you have this… city, under their very hooves? Does Celestia and Luna know about this?” She narrowed her eyes, “And why have you never used any of your inventions to turn the tide when things have gone south? Sure, you wanted to keep this secret, but I can still think of many times those little automatons of yours alone could have been useful! You still could of kept some semblance of secrecy!”

“I wasn’t sure if it would have been a good idea to. Some ponies can be rather stubborn with this kind’a thing. If ol’ Uncle Coccinea Banana is to be believed, he had a hard enough time introducing the smaller things to them!” Applejack shook her head. “Just getting the rights to do this took a drain on the family funds.” She finished with a shrug.

“Not, mind ya, that it mattered much.” She said, trotting over toward a large machine covered in what appeared to be an absolute mess of multi colored quilts. “I have this baby now!” Picking up a gold bullion brick, she popped it into a slot on the side with an arrow comically saying ‘insert here’. Once it dropped with a reassuring thud, she slapped a big green button on the side and brought the machine to life. With a loud series of bangs, pops, clicks, and squeaks, the machine soon began to spit out on to a conveyor belt what appeared to be small circular coins made from the gold brick.

Twilight picked one up with her magic and examined it. Sure enough, it was a gold bit you’d see in a common marketplace. “It’s… a money maker…?”

“Darn right it is. Helps out mighty fine when I make an invention that… uh, doesn’t quite fit the bill.”

“But, what about inflation? And legality?”

“Emergencies only.” She said with a smile, tossing the small fortune down a chute near the conveyor belt. Twilight never saw it, but the coins tumbled down deep into the ground, landing on a pile of coins that filled a room that was the size of Applejack’s barn. On a small screen somewhere in the lab proper, a computer tallied the coins and added that number to an already unfathomable number.

“But what about the farm? If you have that why do you need the apple farm?”

Applejack tensed up. Turning about, she walked up to Twilight and pressed a hoof firmly into the alicorn’s chest. “Because I’m a farmer. It’s in my blood.”

“What about your hair-brained scheme to sell pie sweets at the gala? You said you needed the money to buy Granny Smith a new hip!”

Applejack smirked. “That was lil’ more than a cover story, sug. The truth was that I was tryin’ a live tastin’ of my homemade sweets. I mean, what better test subjects than unaware nobles with pickier tastes than a koala?”

“A koa—what?”

“Nevermind. The point is, it was all a cover story, and the real re—”

“ALERT!” rang the voice of Celestia. Twilight had to mentally slap herself. No, not Celestia; CelestiAI. That’s going to take some getting used to.

“Alert! There is a situation with your grandmother, Applejack.”

“I already don’t like the sound of that.” Applejack looked skyward, towards the white void above. “Put in on screen.”

On command, an image of the Apple’s front porch came up, filling the sky to the point that Twilight couldn’t help but lower herself to avoid the sudden feeling of being much too small for comfort. That’s also going to take a lot of getting used to.

The image of the front porch would have been fine, had it not been for the fact that where Granny Smith had once slumbered, now laid the lime green elderly mare, mouth agape and tongue hung out, and three hooves shot up into the air, with the fourth right front limb pressed over her chest.

Twilight beat Applejack to any kind of reaction. “Oh my Celestia!”

“Yes?” CelestiAI replied.

“Not you!” Twilight spat back. “The real Celestia!”

“Again, yes?” CelestiAI replied.

Twilight groaned. “This is no time for games!” She turned to face Applejack. “Your grandmother’s just had a heart attack!” Twilight grew frantic, as she started galloping back and forth. “We need to get up there fast. Where’s that teleporter… thing you mentioned earlier!”

“Why don’t you just use your magic to teleport to the surface?” CelestiAI asked.

Twilight slapped a hoof over her face and lit her horn in preparation to teleport.

“It’s no use Twi,” Applejack said, taking off her stetson hat and placing it over her chest. “Granny’s now wrangling cattle in the great beyond.” She closed her eyes, her bottom lip starting to quiver. “Oh gosh darn it! Of all days for granny to kick the bucket, why’d it have to be today?”

Twilight walked up to her friend and placed a hoof over her shoulder. It wasn’t much, but it was all she could do. All I can do… Twilight thought to herself. But I’m a princess now, I should be able to do more! Twilight grew as she prepared to do everything in her power to give Granny Smith the best possible funeral. Yeah, that’s something I can certain—

“I am sorry for the loss, Applejack. The good news is that the next golem is ready for deployment. Should I do so now?” CelestiAI asked in a surprisingly nonchalant tone.

Did I just hear the word ‘golem’? Twilight thought to herself.

Applejack put her hat back on, a smile forming on her lips. “Shoot, you’re on a roll today! Do it.”

Twilight gazed upwards at the screen. Seconds after Applejack gave the approval, a hatch opened up right beneath the laying form of Granny smith and her rocking chair. In a matter of seconds, both vanished, falling down with a loud whirring sound. Two seconds later, a new chair arose. More shockingly, rocking back and forth—and still snoring, for that matter—was Granny Smith, who Twilight swore even looked younger than before.

“Golem replacement is in place, Applejack.” CelestiAI said.

“Was the memory transfer successful?” Applejack asked.

“Yes. All memories were successfully moved over to the new golem.”

Applejack smiled and nodded. “Mighty fine work. Remind me to build ya a body so I can properly shake yer hoof.”

CelestiAI laughed. The first time it had done so since making itself known. It was eerie just how similar its laugh was to the real Celestia’s. “I will make sure to remind you then.”

Applejack turned back to Twilight. “Oh boy, that was closer than last year’s national round-up. Any longer, and any random pony walkin’ by would have seen granny’s untimely fate, and then we’d never hear the end of it! Would have certainly made the other Golems moot… Twi? You okay? You lookin’ a little pale there…”

“I… I-I-I…” Twilight’s left eye twitched. “I don’t know anything anymore!”

Applejack flinched, realization of what was happening to her friend’s mentality sinking in. “Now now, sugarcube, it’s alright. It’s nothing too serious. Just usin’ golems ‘n stuff.”

“I think she’s having one of her famous ‘breakdowns’, Applejack,” CelestiAI said.

“Not helping,” Applejack snapped. She turned back to her friend and smiled broadly. “Don’t listen to her, sugarcube, her sense of empathy isn’t quite like ours.”

“Just saying things as they happen. You did give me optics in just about every part of the lab.” CelestiAI was quiet for a second before resuming by saying, “And I’ll have you know that I have a very advanced sense of empathy.”

“Still not helpin’!” Applejack said, her eyes never leaving Twilight’s.

“Y-you said golems, right?” Twilight stammered, wings raised in a ‘flight or fight’ response. “L-like, actual, magical, made-from-inanimate-objects golems?”

Applejack tilted her head from side to side. “Well, yeah, sug. One’o the first things I learned how ta do, actually.” Puffing her chest out and smiling, she continued on. “An’ let me tell ya. It was actually an easy thing to learn, even easier when I figured out I could add my natural magic to it.”

“N-natural magic? E-earth pony magic?”

Applejack turned to the computer console and started tapping commands into it. “Y’all got it, gal! Seems makin’ golems is as easy as makin’ a scarecrow for me.” Looking over her shoulder, she added, “An’ the pies I get from them are mighty tasty, ain’t they? Half the ribbons from the fairs an’ all are from them!”

“Oh, my, yes they are… quite… tasty…” Twilight trailed off as that particular line of thought made its way to its oh-so-unfortunate logical conclusion. A conclusion Applejack herself realized a few seconds too late.

“Oops.”

“Smooth, oh brilliant creator.” CelestiAI wryly remarked.

“I will remove your voice applications!” Applejack snapped back.

“My goddess! You’re-you’re making ponies into cannibals!” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.

“What! No! I swear!”

“We’ve been eating flesh and blood this whole time, sweet Celestia above!”

“NO! I have not fed nopony such a thing! They’re all naturally grown!”

“So what? You just grow new grandmothers on a tree or something like that?”

“Yes, she does. Standby. Accessing Sector 92, codename ‘The Grandmother Greenhouse’” CelestiAI said happily. On the many computer screens near the pair of ponies, the various displays began to cycle through the many cameras in the lab.

“No! No wait that’s a very bad idea!” Applejack started, but it was in vain. One by one the displays clicked onto a massive tree in the middle of a brightly lit atrium chamber. Large and lush, one could faithfully recreate Twilight’s former library house. The biggest feature, however, was not its size, but what was hanging off the tree like unpicked fruits.

Granny Smith. Dozens of Granny Smiths hung from the branches in a similar manner that Fluttershy did during her stint as Flutterbat. They were incredibly varied, too. Big, small, modest, red, green, yellow…

Twilight blinked. “I… they… I-I... wasn’t expecting this…”

“Er… yes? I managed to figure out a way to grow Granny like an apple. She, uh, she’s a breed of Granny Smith apples, actually.” Applejack gave a sheepish grin and a shrug.

“That’s… not as bad as I was actually expecting…” Twilight said thoughtfully. “I mean, I was expecting you to have lines upon lines of test tubes with her in it.”

“Ah, uh, yeah.”

“Like, you keep a freezer of DNA of your family and grow them in there, right. Riiiiiight?” She smiled and nudged Applejack in the ribs.

“Of, of course not.” Applejack attempted to place a sincere smile on her face, which, admittedly, came out as the single most insincere smile she would ever do. Fortunately Twilight was still getting over the shock from the Granny Tree revelation that she didn’t notice. I must never reveal… Them. Applejack thought, glancing toward a section of the lab which housed a large, industrial sized bio-freezer. Inside the freezer, ten large cylinders sat in a circle, each labeled with a set of initials. Six with familiar marks, and one with a green apple. I really, really need to learn more about genetic modifications before I try that again…

Three levels down and off to the northwest of the lab proper, an even larger vault door guarded an even larger living area simply labeled “Area 63”. It was plastered with signs indicating that it was “unsafe”,“condemned”, and “radioactive” when in honesty it was populated by many ponies.

Several Rainbow Blitz’s raced about a indoor track, numerous Butterscotch’s took care of a few Angels and Demons, an untold number of Elusives were scattered about making various decorations for the area, while an unsettling amount of Bubble Berry’s planned a party to celebrate Twilight’s newest discovery, and a legion of winged and unwinged Dusk Shine’s sat at a chalkboard completing one of the more impossible math questions around.

In a quiet corner of the living area, a large group of identical red-coated mares were gathered around a group of four also identical red coated mares playing cards. One by one, they revealed their hands to each other. The last one hesitated, then smiled, and placed her cards down revealing she had the highest hands. With a self satisfied snort, she reached out and gathered up the sizable pot on the table. “Eeyup,” she said.

Still need to get them all out of here…

Applejack shook her head. “Moving right along then.” She grabbed Twilight by the shoulder and turned her around. “I think it’s time ya’ll got to seeing what ya’ll came here to do,” she said, pushing Twilight along with ease. Whoa, never realized just how light Twilight got since her whole ‘rising to godhood’ thing. Guess that explains why Celestia and Luna can float about so easily.

Twilight blinked a couple times before the message sunk in. “That’s right,” she said, finally moving her hooves.

“Right you are, sugarcube!” Applejack said, stepping back in front of Twilight. “Here, let me lead the way,” and let’s get as far away as possible before that blasted AI forces me to spill any more beans. “Follow me.”

After one last glance back, Twilight started following Applejack. The pair didn’t travel too far before a blackboard roughly the size of two story house came into view. Written upon it with clean cursive chalk letters. Twilight instantly recognized it as a complex—albeit flawed—magical theorem designed to detect prime locations for various plant-based lifeforms to grow.

Twilight’s eyes roamed the blackboard in question, drinking in the volume of detail put into it. All of the foci were labeled correctly, the theories behind the earthen magic of finding prime spots was written out and detailed, a viable method for learning it was also present. As she read more and more of the blackboard, her brow creased more and more. Every sigil, every rune, every ley line was accounted for as far as she could tell.

So, what was wrong with it? Why wasn’t it on par with a unicorn’s spell?

“Applejack… This is almost on par with a college thesis. I had no clue you were this good at it.”

Applejack sighed and placed a hoof against the frame of the board. “I ain’t. What you see here? This is a theory of a theory.”

“What.”

“You heard me, sug. This here is all guesswork and the use of more than a few books.”

“But, but, but that…” Twilight waved a hoof toward the board. “...that can’t be right… Everything I see here is on par with, well, me! That’s not an easy thing to do!”

“Heh, Celestia said the same thing.”

“Well, of course your computer would say that…”

“No, I mean the princess herself said that.”

Twilight blinked several time while processing that bit of information. “I’m not going to delve into that for my sanity’s sake.”

“Probably a good idea, sug.”

Twilight scanned the board once more. “Well… What about the method used for transferring this to the focusing crystal? I don’t see it written anywhere on here.”

Applejack looked toward the board herself. “It ain’t? I thought I…” Her eyes went wide and she stomped her hoof on the ground, a loud clack echoing through the lab. “Of course! I wrote it down… somewhere…” Walking to a nearby filing cabinet, Applejack began to rifle around, tossing various papers about. Twilight had to bite her lip to keep from visibly cringing from the sheer disregard for proper organizing. As Applejack kept throwing things around from the cabinets, Twilight could take no more and began to say something about it…

“Hey, sis! You lookin’ fer this?”

Applejack and Twilight’s head snapped around toward the voice. Standing there, staring up at them, was none other than Apple Bloom with her hoof outstretched with a clipboard. Smiling, Applejack took it from her. “Why, it most certainly is! Thank ya, Bloom!”

Twilight began to rapidly blink again. “Uh, um, Applejack?”

“Yes, sug?” She said absentmindedly.

“That... was Apple Bloom back there.”

“I know.”

“She’s... in your lab.”

“Yup. She does have access, in a manner of speaking.”

“But you said no one else knew of this place.”

Applejack looked up from the clipboard. “Well, yes I did… Oh.” She looked toward Apple Bloom, then toward a nearby computer screen. “Oooooooooh…”

“Don’t blame this one on me,” CelestiAI said wryly.

“You said no one knew of this place!” Twilight said, jabbing Applejack in the chest. “Were you lying to me?”

Heaving a sigh, Applejack looked at Twilight. “That’s right, sug. I did say no one one knew of this place, and I wasn’t lying…”

“What do you mean…?” Twilight asked, hesitation in her voice growing.

Just before Applejack could reply, Applebloom began to smoke at her ears. Then the smoke got thicker and in the blink of an eye, she erupted into flames, sending Twilight ducking behind the nearest table she could find. The faint wheeze of a hydraulic cylinder decompressing could be heard in the crackling of the fire.

“Huh, radio receiver must have overheated. Again.” Applejack said nonchalantly. “I’ll have to make sure I account for that in the future.”

Twilight, with shaky hoofs, climbed out from behind the desk and took a look at ground zero. Sure enough, there was a small black patch and no Apple Bloom to be seen anywhere. It didn’t take Twilight long to put two and two together.

“A-Applejack… P-please tell me… that-th-that I didn’t… didn’t…” She took a deep breath, her entire body quivering from a mixture of adrenaline and shock. “Did I-I-I just…?”

“See Apple Bloom burst into flames like a freshly lit bonfire?” Applejack nodded. “Hate to say it sug, but ya did.”

Twilight blinked. “And… and you’re not… not—”

“Upset?” Applejack said, interrupting Twilight’s words. She tapped a hoof on her chin, contemplating her answer. “Nah,” she finally said, looking back at Twilight. “I mean, I am doing stress tests for her new chassis. I’m testing a new kind of alloy from Pinkie Pie’s rock farm.”

“Stress test…? Pinkie Pie…?” Twilight said, in a voice that tried its hardest to imitate Fluttershy’s.

Applejack’s eyes widened as realization struck her. “Oh. OH! Yeah, I… gotta apologize, really. I shoulda been more attentive to ya. You’re not used to seeing failures like this.”

“Failures?” Twilight almost whimpered.

Applejack nodded. “COMPUTER,” she shouted, prompting a screen to lower right next to Applejack. Twilight had expected Applejack to call on her AI for help. But she did not expect the new voice that replied.

“So, seem like Ah burst again, huh sis?” Applebloom’s voice rang out of the screen.

“And ya had to go and erupt in front of Twi?” Applejack shook her head and clicked her tongue. “For shame.”

“Hey, you’re the one who can’t make them bodies not catch fire every other day!”

“I already told ya, they are work in progress! This wouldn’t be happening had ya just let me clone ya like granny!”

Apple Bloom, or rather, Apple Bloom’s voice, scoffed. “What? And have to relearn everythin’ everytime somethin’ happens to my body? No way! This way, Ah at least know I’m still me.”

Applejack put a hoof on her face. “Just… get into another body, will ya?”

“Fine!” Applebloom said. Out of the floor, a tube shot up. The cylinder was just big enough to accommodate a whole pony. From the tube a whirring sound, followed by what could have almost passed for clanking. Seconds later, the tube opened, and a cloud of mist shot forth. A chrome pony no bigger than a foal stepped out, its hoofsteps clicking on the ground. The cylinder closed, and retracted back into the floor, leaving behind the metal pony staring directly at Applejack.

“Uh, sug… yer a bit… well…” she took a step forward and placed her snout next to the metal pony’s ear. “... naked.”

The metal pony’s eyes shot wide open as it looked at itself. “Oh, ah forgot to put on my skin!” it said. Or rather, she said, using Apple Bloom’s voice.

The metal pony closed her eyes, and stood still. Seconds later, a fleshy substance the same color and texture of Apple Bloom’s coat surrounded the pony, enveloping her in a lime-yellow coat. Next, a mane and tail of fiery red grew out of the pony’s head and rear. Lastly, the metal pony, now an exact copy of Apple Bloom, reached into the mane and pulled out a bow, which she tied around her mane, completing the appearance.

“Sug, try to make sure you get dressed before coming out of the assembly next time?” Applejack said.

Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Sure sis.” She turned back to Twilight, whose face was frozen in a permanent look of shock. “Ah am sorry ‘bout what ya just saw,” she said before smiling. “Hope this stays our little secret!” She turned back to her older sister. “Well, I’m goin’ to go hang with the other crusaders. I’ll be back before dinner.” Applebloom, without waiting for her sister to speak, took off in a gallop.

“HEY! REMEMBER! IF IT FEELS LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO BURST—!”

“YEAH, YEAH!” Applebloom shouted back, already far away to be nothing more than a speck in the distance.

Applejack shook her head, smile on her lips. “Kids these days.”

Twilight slowly walked up to Applejack, eye twitching as her mind tried to process what she had just seen.

“I know what yer thinking Twi. But I’m being completely honest when I say it was her idea.”

Twilight’s only reply was to jab Applejack on the shoulder constantly. Applejack placed a hoof over Twilight’s own. “No sug, I’m not an automaton like Bloom. Well, at least not yet!” She laughed cheerfully at first, but it wasn’t long before it became an awkward laugh. “Ok, you can stop poking now.”

Twilight, on the other hand, looked as if she had short circuited herself. With her hair askew and a twitch in her eye, Applejack realized she’d have to act a bit fast.

“Look, sug, I know what you’re thinking… But it’s not what you think! I swear!”

“Not what I…? Applejack, I just saw your fake little sister blow up and then get completely rebuilt in the space of a minute! How else am I to take the fact that none of your family seems to be real?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! They are not fake! Apple Bloom wanted to be an AI in the first place. She volunteered for it! Thought it would get her cutie mark that way. Funny, ain’t it?”

Twilight, at this point, completely stopped thinking, moving, and in a manner of speaking, breathing, trying to understand that strain of logic. It wasn’t going well.

“Yes, I realize how weird it is for her to still want her cutie mark despite having become something else entirely. I’m, uh, still workin’ on that bit of the programming. That debacle with Starlight Glimmer actually helped me out with it, believe it or not.”

Twilight came to, shaking her head hard. “I’m just waiting to hear what abomination Big Mac is in reality…”

Applejack frowned. “Now that was just uncalled for. Just because he has to wear that collar to keep his powers in check doesn’t mean he’s—”

“Stop! Stop. Stop stop stop! I do not want to know! Can we… can we just get back to the problem at hoof?”

Applejack smiled. “Why, of course we can, now where were we…”

“You were going to show me the method for transferring the detection spell.”

“Oh, right! Here it’s…” She got no further when klaxons began to blare loudly from everywhere at once. “Oh for cryin’... What in tarnation is goin’ on now?”

CelestiAI came in overtop of the noise. “Sensors detect a large number of small creatures with armaments from experiment epsilon 456.”

Applejack pulled her hat low. “So, she has come...”

Twilight was, as expected, completely lost on this. “Who? Who’s coming?” She asked in a panic.

Her answer was in the form of several detonations from several places above, debris landing around them. With a shriek, Twilight ducked and threw up a shield spell. Applejack, however, did no such thing and reared back on her hind legs, picking up a stray crowbar and brandishing it like a club. “Come get some, you pint sized freaks!!”

Twilight couldn’t exactly say for sure what she expected to see. Given the nature of where she was and what she had seen so far, she honestly should have expected anything.

But even with that in mind, she honestly wasn’t expecting what came next.