For most people, Saturday mornings are a time to sleep in, relax, and rest up to get ready for the upcoming week. For Pandora Sparkle and Bruce Carcharodon, it was a time to wake up and come to terms with reality. What had started as a lost bet and a joke had turned into a test of dominance and ended with both of them panting, moaning, and resting on a comfy bed in a Las Pegasus hotel room, completely spent and exhausted.
"That.... wow..." Bruce muttered as his rival sat up and stretched, giving him a magnificent view of her slender back and the tattoo she had. In the heat of the night's activities, he had barely noticed the pink, six-pointed star emblem of the Sparkle Royal Family between her shoulder blades flanked by stylized bat wings that covered her shoulder blades entirely. If he didn't know any better, he could have sworn he saw the wings stretching as well.
"I know, I'm amazing." Pandora replied, smirking back at him over her shoulder teasingly before throwing her legs over the bed and continuing her stretch as she stood up.
"Startin' bright an' early with the jabs, then?" he quipped, rolling his shoulders a little and running his fingers along his back to feel for cuts. "You scratched me somethin' fierce."
"Figured you'd enjoy it, since the last time anyone kissed you, it was a shark."
"Well, as much as I love scars..." Bruce muttered as he stood up and spanked her, "I'm gonna have a hard time explainin' these to the crew."
"Watch the hands there, Aussie." Pandora growled, stifling whatever pleasured noise she accidentally made when his hand met her rear. "And don't take too long in the shower."
"I'll take as long as I want, if you want a shower you'll just have to choose between waitin' and joinin'." he teased back, heading towards the shower. A few minutes later, Pandora heard the water start and steam start to flow out from the top of the door. Barely a few seconds after that, she snapped and teleported into the shower, taking him up on his offer and letting both moans and magic run freely as they once again fought for dominance.
The night before, Pandora had been barely able to contain her magic as her and her childhood rival had destroyed two beds, a recliner, a desk, three walls, and plenty of perfectly good sheets. Now with her attentions focused on the man in front of her and her senses overloaded with both him and the water, there was no chance of her chaotic energies being contained. Because of this, it was no surprise that Pandora discovered that her clothes and Bruce's had been turned into puddles on the floor.
"Ah, crap..." she murmured.
"Can't you teleport us back to your house or somethin'?"
"No, mom has detection wards set up on certain nights like this and if she's not already up waiting for me with a lecture about punctuality, curfew, and schedules, she'll have the PowerPoint ready before I could get dressed and figure out some wardrobe options for you."
"Then what do we do?" Bruce asked as he tightened the towel around his waist and crossed his arms over his chest.
"We call in a favor." Pandora replied, conjuring up a wardrobe out of nowhere and throwing on the first things she found. Once she was somewhat dressed, not really caring about pants at the moment, she started digging around in the bottom of the large, floating wardrobe. Bruce, distracted by the view, got smacked on the side of the head with a large rubber chicken before he noticed that there was a small mountain of random junk flying out of the wardrobe as Pandora continued to dig.
A rubber chicken, two kitchen sinks, a copy of the Equestrian Constitution, a signed picture of Leonard Neighmoy, a fake diary, an airplane seat, two pillows shaped like donuts, a long list of names simply named 'THE LIST', and five bottles of dish soap later, Pandora managed to find a small handheld mirror and laid it gently on the bed. Once the mirror was placed safely she snapped and the rest of the items, her melted dress and Bruce's melted suit included, flew back into the wardrobe, which then got sucked into itself until it imploded with a tiny pop and a small burst of confetti.
"I'm gonna have to get used to that, aren't I?" Bruce deadpanned.
"If this becomes more than one night, yeah." Pandora retorted with a canine bearing grin, then she focused her attentions on the mirror again. "Pandora to Scootaloo, I say again, Pandora to Scootaloo."
"Scoot here." the mirror replied as Scootaloo's face appeared. It was obvious she'd already been up for quite some time but Pandora had expected that, given how Saturday was when she got up early for her morning flight exercises. "What can I do for ya, Panny?"
"You know the Carcharodons, right? Bruce's parents?"
"Yeah, why?" Scootaloo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Could you maybe, stop by and pick up a set of his casual clothes?" Pandora asked, getting a shocked expression from her sister-in-law.
"... you didn't."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Say it! I know you did! Admit it or I won't go get that stuff." Scoots threatened. Pandora could only sigh and look over at her date for a moment before letting out an exasperated groan.
"Bruce and I hooked up last night and now his clothes are melted so please please please go get him some clothes."
"Done. Where are you?"
"Las Pegasus, the Sisters Royal Hotel, room 627."
"I'll get Sweetie to teleport me there; should only be an hour." Scootaloo stated before grinning at Pandora again, "More than enough time for you two lovebirds to have another go, ri-"
"We're not lovebirds!" Pandora interrupted before waving the mirror 'off' and throwing it into her hammer-space with another exasperated groan.
"You ok there, freak show?" Bruce asked, sitting next to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. At first, she wanted to smack him for the insult but the way it was said spoke volumes on his true intentions. She lowered her fist, then rested her hands in her lap. She nodded and laid down with her head on his lap.
"Yeah, I'm fine, shark bait. Auntie 'Loo is bringing you some clothes and we'll be poofing back to Ponyville within the hour..."
"Then why do you sound like you just lost another bet?"
"When was the last time you had to admit you just spent the night having wild, crazy, angry sex with someone to a sibling?" she asked, frowning up at him as he started to lay back against the headboard.
"Point taken." he muttered, but before he could lean back and relax, there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Pandora called.
"Pandora Eris Sparkle, you know exactly who it is!"
"Oh, horse-apples." the young sorceress cursed. She shifted into a spring and sprang to her feet before running to the door and opening it.
Standing in the doorway was the Princess of Friendship, Headmistress of the Equestrian Academy of Magic, Bearer of the Element of Magic, Wife of Lord Discord, and all around fuming mother of the Princess of Chaos, Twilight Sparkle. Bruce instantly turned red in the face for two reasons. One was his state of undress, which he tried to address by wrapping one of the ruined sheets around his torso. The second was because Princess Sparkle was, despite her reputation of being a woman who cared more for her intellect than her looks, as opposed to her sister-in-law in the Crystal Empire, still a stunningly beautiful woman even in regular, casual clothing.
While nowhere near her daughter’s height, Twilight's royal violet hair, matching eyes that burned with the fury that only a worried-sick mother could have, the pendant around her neck that told those of her status in a tastefully subtle way, and the way she carried herself gave her a commanding presence that would make even Gryphon Seraphs shake in their shoes.
"Sit." Twilight commanded, pointing to the bed. Pandora obeyed quietly, her movements tentative under her mother’s wrathful glare.
"Uh... where shoul-" Bruce started before all three heard an extremely predatory growl.
"You didn't!" Pandora squawked, her face having literally gone as white as snow before a man with a green mohawk, a purple jacket, and matching purple and green dragon wings flared wide open, burst into the room behind his surrogate mother.
"Where is he?!" Spike growled, his eyes having already turned into reptilian slits.
"The boy in the toga, don't damage him or eat him, Spike." Twilight ordered, patting his shoulder and making him look her in the eyes when he growled a reply, "I'm serious, calm yourself and be nice, dear."
Spike began to growl back before his foster mother kissed his forehead and snapped him out of it. In true 'macho' fashion, the Dragon-Seraph gagged and started rubbing his forehead to try and 'wipe off' the kiss.
"Mooooooooooooooooooom..." he whined, before getting a single gesture towards Bruce as his reply. Before Spike could protest, Twilight turned back around to Pandora. The look on her face was enough to scare both men out of the room and into the hallway.
"Uh... hey, Mom." Pandora said, desperately trying to fake a smile and avoid looking her mother in the eye.
"No call, no message, no scroll, nothing! Just your Aunt Fluttershy saying she saw you tackle Bruce and then disappear in a teleport flash! And now I find out from Scootaloo that you not only disappeared to Las Pegasus with Bruce, but slept with him?! What were you thinking?!" Twilight hissed.
"That he was a good lay?"
"Pandora, this is exactly the sort of risky behavior that makes me worry! What if you got pregnant? What if you get hurt emotionally? Isn't this the same boy that you've been butting heads with since kindergarten? And now he's your boyfriend?!"
"MOM! He's not my boyfriend! I can barely stand that that little fish-faced prick!"
"And yet you had sex with him."
"I.. he... it.... Mom, it's complicated... but please, just trust me on this one... what we have or don't have, it kinda works... sorta, maybe... I think." Pandora sighed, finally looking back up at her mother still scowling face. "It's weird. I can't stand him, yet he's cute and I kinda want to keep him here all week long. I want to smack his tiny brain out of his big head, yet I also want to kiss him til he suffocates. I.. I can't put it into words."
With a scoff, Twilight began to pace in front of the bed. Her steps landed in rhythm with how she was tapping her chin while thinking over everything so far and also keeping an ear out for any possible trouble outside. For what seemed like a thousand years, Twilight simply mulled over everything silently. Pandora waited with patience bred from years of her mother doing her best to make sure at least some of her traits came forward in the Princess of Chaos. A few minutes later, Twilight let out a small sigh and looked her daughter over before sitting down next to her.
"If you're going to do this... and you're going to be serious about it... I need to give you a talk about safe sex and proper dating procedure." Twilight finally said.
"Mother!"
"What? I need to make sure my only daughter doesn't make a mistake and end up with a happy accident like your brother. You are not having a child, even by accident, before you graduate secondary school."
"Mom, I already know how to.. ugh, just saying it front of you makes it sound so much dirtier...I know how to have sex safely. I used a contraceptive spell after each time we... y'know." Pandora replied, her face turning as red as a tomato before she actually shapeshifted her head into one with her features.
"Very well...if you say so. But I'm still leaving some books in your room for you to skim."
"Deal." Pandora said with a small smile as her head transformed back to normal, "You're not still completely outraged at me, are you...?"
"Mild simmer, dear." Twilight replied, before opening her arms and embracing her daughter gently. Pandora eagerly hugged her mother, her father's cuddly nature surfacing in her once more as she held her mom close.
"Thanks for understanding, Mom." Pandora sighed, a relaxed smile gracing her slender face.
"Do something like this again and I'll have your Granny Tia banish you to the moon." Twilight stated in a deceptively sweet tone, causing Pandora's eyes to go wide. "Now, let's go make sure that Spike hasn't eaten your boyfriend."
"MOTHER!"
_____________________________________________
While Pandora was busy getting a talk from her mother, Bruce was busy getting a much less gentle talking to by a very overprotective brother. Once he was dressed, Bruce found himself pinned against the wall by an angry Dragon-Seraph, the only one who lived outside of their territory in the far south.
"I want to make something perfectly clear, kid... you hurt my sister, I break you." Spike spat, twin plumes of smoke curling from his nostrils.
"I'm not goin' to hurt her."
"Well, you'll have to understand if I don't exactly trust you. I've heard nothing but about how much of a hard time you give my sister every chance you get, and now I find out that you slept with her."
"She tackled me, Spike, not the other way around. One minute we're tradin' insults, the next I'm tackled onto a bed in Las Pegasus with her dress hittin' the flo...shuttin' up now." Bruce said, stopping mid-word when Spike's pupils reverted to slits again.
"I'll warn you only one time, Bruce; if you hurt my sister, I will shift and eat you."
"Come now, Spikey Wikey, let's not scare away our darling Pandora's first boyfriend!" another voice interjected. "After all, he doesn't seem to be the orderly type, so I'll definitely give him a chance."
Before Spike could protest at the use of his old nickname, and before Bruce could figure out just where the voice was coming from, the man who held the world in his hands on two separate occasions walked through the wall dressed like a grandmother and pinched Spike's cheek.
"Discord, please stop ruining the moment when I'm trying to keep Panny safe." Spike groaned. Discord replied by snapping himself back to normal, his clothes and overly long ponytail flowing back into existence as if they were water running over him.
"Now, Spike, I’m sure dear Bruce here won't be any trouble, now will he?" Discord replied, leering down at the significantly shorter boy still being held against the wall. Bruce could only nod as he watched those mismatched eyes scan over him. Discord let loose a hearty laugh.
"No need to be shy, child. I'm just your run-of-the-mill wizard who also happens to be the father of the woman you apparently had a wild night of sex with." Discord added, snatching Bruce up from Spike's grasp and spinning him around a few times until he was standing by himself in the hallway. Bruce steadied himself against the wall and shook his head clear before regaining his composure.
"I'm not gonna hurt her, I'm not gonna mistreat her, I don't even think we're datin'. For all I know this is a one time deal until she says otherwise."
"Oh, so it's one of those relationships?" Discord asked as he snapped a psychiatrist's chair and couch into existence before taking a seat. The appearance of the furniture had also changed his wardrobe to a stuffy suit, over-sized glasses, and an obviously fake beard and bald cap. "Run-and-gun? Love on the fly? Or is this a more complicated situation where the two star crossed lovers just can't admit they truly love each other and insist on hatred when dealing with the public?"
"I... uh... what?" Bruce stammered.
"Discord, why don't you help Twilight with Pandora, ok? I'll take care of Bruce here and I promise not to kill him." Spike butted in, trying to shove Discord towards the door of the hotel room.
"Oh, fine. But only because you asked so nicely." the old wizard replied with a toothy grin, but before Spike could manage a retort, he and the psychiatrist act vanished again. Not long after her father had shown up, Pandora walked out of the hotel room and much to the relief of Spike and dismay of Bruce, had pants on this time.
"Spike, don't threaten to eat him."
"What, did Discord tell on me?" her brother huffed.
"No, you just threaten to eat anyone who might hurt the family." Pandora snarked, gesturing for Bruce to follow her down the hallway. Quietly and with obedience bred more out of wanting to get away from the dragon than willingness to follow her around like a lost puppy, Bruce walked with Pandora down the winding hallway to the nearest elevator on their floor.
"How'd it go?" Bruce asked once they reached the elevator.
"She shouted, she worried, she assigned me homework, the usual." she sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose as they stepped onto the lift.
"And your dad...?"
"Laughed, laughed, laughed some more, hugged me, then got my mom to stop rambling on about her safe sex lecture by kissing her."
"She gave you a lecture on safe sex...?"
"And homework on it too." Pandora grumbled.
"You have got to be the weirdest girl, with the weirdest family, that I have ever met, string bean." Bruce deadpanned, looking over at her with a slight smirk.
"Don't make me tackle you again, shorty. This time you won't land on a bed." she retorted, snapping as the elevator came to a halt. When the door opened, it opened not to the lobby of the hotel, but to right outside Twilight Manor. Both stepped out onto the sidewalk and Pandora waved the portal away only to see Cupcake was standing on the other side of it waiting for them.
"Welcome back, sir. Eventful night?" she asked, her tone still flat and her expression never changing.
"Thanks Cupcake, and yeah, you could say that." Pandora replied with a slight nod.
"Do I need to remove Mr. Carcharodon from the premises or is the date still valid, sir?"
"Still valid... sorta." the young sorceress mumbled, unable to keep the slightest of blushes from reaching her cheeks.
"Oh. Well, it took longer than anticipated but the math played out eventually. Congratulations, sir. Congratulations, Mr. Carcharodon." Cupcake stated, looking at them both for a moment before pulling up a small notepad and scribbling something in it.
"What was that?" Bruce asked.
"Crossing your name off The List and adding it to the authorized list. Now I won't have to punch you again if you get too close to Pandora." Cupcake told him without looking up from her notepad. "I also believe your sister-in-law owes your father a hundred bits, sir."
"They bet on us!?" Pandora shrieked.
"Half the school did, but no one knows about your new relationship so far. Should I prepare an official statement?"
"We're not in a relationship! He's not my boyfriend and we're not in love."
"Yeah, I can barely stand this lanky freak show. Only redeemin' quality is what happens in bed." Bruce groused, before worriedly glancing about to make sure no one was actually within earshot. He relaxed only slightly when he noticed that the street was practically deserted save the three of them.
"Regardless." Cupcake interrupted, cutting Pandora off before she could smack him verbally and literally, "We'll need to keep this under wraps with only the right people knowing, sir."
"I'll leave you to deal with it then, Cupcake... I need a nap." Pandora sighed, starting off towards the front gate.
"'Ey, what about me? Just gonna leave me hangin' with Miss Stoic over 'ere and nothin' else?" Bruce asked, gesturing with his thumb to Cupcake.
"Oh, fine..." Pandora muttered, floating over to him and giving him a quick, yet surprisingly rough kiss. "Better?"
"Not exactly what I meant, beanstalk."
"Oh, don't worry, I know what you meant. Cupcake will fill you in, I just wanted to get one more in for kicks." Pandora said with a wink, and then she disappeared in a flash of white light.
"What the buck..." Bruce muttered before looking back at Cupcake.
"Follow me, I'll brief you on the way to your house." the shorter woman ordered as she pointed down the road towards his home and as they started down the sidewalk. Cupcake suppressed a smirk, as she always did at the antics her boss got up to. As they walked through Ponyville and enjoyed how quiet it was before most of the town woke up, Cupcake gave Bruce an extremely detailed report involving proper etiquette when dealing with Sparkle Family members, various courtesies to be upheld with her boss, and of course, scheduling details that he'd need to be aware of. Yet despite it all, he never did notice something amiss about his clothing while they walked and talked; or more accurately, they walked and Cupcake did all the talking in a monotone that somehow commanded his complete attention.
"Been a while since she resorted to a childhood classic." Cupcake mused, doing her best to resist the temptation to let Bruce know exactly what Pandora had done to him before teleporting herself back to her bedroom. Without too much effort, Cupcake resisted and bid Bruce a good rest of his weekend before starting off back towards Twilight Manor. With no one looking, she let the left corner of her mouth curve up for a record half a second before going back to her stoic self and going through the necessary tasks needed of her today through her head.
Bruce on the other hand, didn't realize that Pandora had stuck a "KICK ME, I’m a dumb shark butt!!" sign on the back of his shirt with that last kiss until he changed his clothes the next morning.
With the exception of an extremely embarrassing Saturday morning, Pandora’s weekend passed by with relative normalcy. Cupcake had made sure that her boss actually read through the lesson plan her mother left for her, and Discord had had a good laugh at the entire situation. Pandora was sorely tempted to visit Scootaloo with a fake knife in her back, but decided against it as she continued to prepare for a return to school on Monday and sent out the occasional insult-laden message to Bruce. Bruce replied in kind, keeping up the derogatory banter with her when he wasn't getting a lecture from his parents and avoiding his 'crew' for the remainder of the weekend.
However, Monday was not destined to be a normal school day for anyone.
"What's with the crowds...?" Pandora asked as she and Cupcake walked through the front door.
"Big issue in the school paper. It’s the highlight issue covering prom. Something must have happened to really stir the rumor mill, sir." the shorter woman replied, grabbing a paper from one of the hallway stands.
"Oh, it can't be that big. It's just a dance where the football players and cheerleaders hump each other on the dance floor." Pandora shrugged. It wasn't until she noticed that she was getting quite a few more stares than usual that she began to feel somewhat concerned.
"Jeez, you'd think I'd never worn my 'wizard outfit' to school before..." she muttered, looking down at the frilly shirt and double-checking the cuffs of the purple, long-tailed overcoat. "I don't have anything on me, do I, Cuppy?"
"No sir, but there is something with you on it." Cupcake had gotten hold of a copy of the school newspaper. She held it up so Pandora could see the front page. Pandora let out a shriek. Quick as lightning, she snatched the paper and destroyed it with fizzing chaos magic.
The front page of the most read issue of the school newspaper was a title about candid prom pictures. Plastered across the very front, in terrifyingly high resolution, was a picture of her and Bruce mid-fall to the floor with lips locked and arms clinging to each other tightly.
__________________________________
"So, Bruce... you and the freak show, huh?" a heavy-set boy in a loose jersey with the name ‘Wrecker’ on it asked in disbelief. Bruce slammed his locker shut. Ever since he had walked into the building, he’d been getting interrogated by anyone and everyone. His own crew had been asking him questions for a good 20 minutes.
"What about ‘er?" Bruce asked, doing his best to play the entire situation cool.
"You're kissing her in this photo, and then people are saying you two disappeared before you hit the floor. Kinda raises a few questions, man."
"Yeah, disappearing for the whole night, the whole weekend? Suspicious." another of his crew, a lean boy with piercings in both ears and hair down to his shoulders covered partially by a beanie cap, chimed in.
"What's it matter to you guys what me and one sheila do, anyway?" Bruce asked.
"Just sayin', you got a reputation to uphold. People are already talking, saying that you and Queen Chaos Kooky are a couple."
"I'm not 'er boyfriend, if that's what you're sayin'."
"But you're not denying that you totally slept with her." Wrecker replied accusingly.
"So what if I did?!" he shouted, silencing them as he turned to face the both of them. If Bruce had any dragon blood in him, he had no doubt that there would be smoke plumes hissing from his nostrils. Instead, he simply worked with the intense scowl, furrowed brows, and clenched jaw that somewhat highlighted his scar as he continued to glare at his friends. A few long, silent moments later, his friend in the beanie, Gusty, spoke up again.
"Chill dude, chill. We didn't mean nothing by it, just trying to keep your reputation safe, man. You're the guy who punched a shark in the face when he was a kid, even the football team steers clear of you, but now you're... dating the freak?"
"We. Are. Not. Datin’." Bruce growled, "We're not datin’, we're not in love, we're not seein’ each other."
"But you're sleeping together." another of his friends quipped. This one was a more athletically built Seraph still in his track suit from morning practice named Lightning Rod, but he mostly just went by Rod.
"Oh, sod off, the lot of of ya!" the fisherman finally barked, "I can protect my own reputation and who I share my bed with ain't gonna change that."
"Yeah but it's.... it's her."
"So what if it is?"
"No, dude... it's her." Wrecker murmured as he pointed down the hallway.
Bruce turned and was simultaneously struck with a need to run for his life and a need to "tackle" the seething sorceress floating towards the group of "cool kids" with their de facto leader in the center. With lightning speed she flew forward and tackled him again, only this time there was no kiss and she soon had him by his shirt collar.
"How did they get a picture of us?" she hissed, her voice deadly.
"Your guess is as good as mine, bitch." Bruce replied plainly.
"Not helping!" Pandora said, literal fire pouring from her eyes for a moment before she continued her interrogation. "Who have you told?"
"No one."
"Horseshit."
"Swear on your grandmother's crown."
"I told you to leave Granny Tia out of things, flipper."
"It's a figure of speech, you twig!"
"Awww, how cute! They're totally doing a replay of Friday night." a shrill, almost too feminine voice cut in.
"Buck..." Pandora mouthed, instantly getting up and off Bruce only to find that her worst fear was in fact standing at the end of the hallway with a crowd growing around the whole scene. Razzle Dazzle, one part news girl, one part rumor machine, all parts nasty, and the worst person you'd ever want knowing anything private about you. She was dressed from head to toe in a pink so bright and obnoxious that the color practically screamed at you, with a headband holding back a tidal wave of blonde ringlets. Despite being no taller than Cupcake, her heels and hair managed to make her rival Bruce's height and with this latest piece of gossip to run with, she was practically buzzing with excitement as she started stirring up the growing crowd.
"Like, come on, we know you wanna kiss him again!" Razzle giggled, looking back at the gathering of students and flourishing the school paper. "Freak Show and Aquaman kissing before she teleported them away for a night of hot, steamy love."
"We are not in love!" Pandora and Bruce replied.
"Oh? I didn't say you were! Like, I was just referring to how you two totally hooked up all night long."
"Why you little-" Pandora started as she began walking forward. One hand was clenched in a fist and the other was readying a spell, but Razzle cut her off.
"What was it like having sex with a door, Bruce? She's totally got the curves and sex appeal of one so I figured you'd be dealing with, like, splinters or maybe termites, right?"
Pandora visibly flinched as Razzle spoke. The future Queen of Chaos was not easily hurt or stifled, and was definitely not one to back down from a fight when one was brewing. But like every other young woman her age, there were always certain buttons that if pressed, could cut deep and literally immobilize her. From before she could even dress herself, her mother had always said she was one of the most beautiful girls in the world. Her father doted on her and said the same thing, and more importantly, Bruce had been bold enough to call her beautiful on more than one occasion during their romp in the hotel room.
Part of her wanted Bruce to come to the rescue by going on and on about how lovely she was, part of her wanted them both to team up and beat the little brat standing in front of them to a bloody pulp. Much to her chagrin though, the part that almost surfaced as she stopped dead in her tracks with the spell dissipating and her fist unclenching, involved tears. She held them back though, and thanked her surrogate grandmothers for her ability to keep her war face on before she noticed that the half the reason she had been shocked into stopping was a firm grip on her arm.
"I don't give a rat's ass what you think you know, Razzle, but stay out of it. She's not my girlfriend, I'm not her boyfriend, we're not 'in love', and I got better things to do than listen to you drill holes in my ear drums with that high pitched pig squeal you call a voice." Bruce finally said, picking up his bag and letting go of Pandora's arm. "We both do, right?"
Pandora looked back at him for a moment, nodding slowly and conjuring her bag back to her shoulders and glaring at Razzle Dazzle with the same intensity that her mother had used when staring down Lord Tirek all those many years ago. The staredown only lasted a few seconds before Cupcake tapped her boss on the shoulder and they both walked off towards class, but the message was clear to everyone who was there.
This meant war.
_______________________
"Give it to me straight Cup, how long do I have?" Pandora asked as her desk shifted into a hospital bed complete with IV drips and a heart monitor that blipped Pandora's face instead of the usual heartbeat wavelength lines.
"Given how fast word spread when you asked Bruce in the first place, the placements of newspapers, school population, Razzle Dazzle's rumor underground, and staff interest in the story, my calculations have the news reaching the entire school by third period at the latest, sir." Cupcake said, looking over the clipboard that had magically found its way into her hands.
"Third!? I, I can't do this. I can see the light. Hold me!" Pandora replied, the monitor giving a steady, unending tone as she gagged and large black 'X's replaced her eyes. Cupcake placed the stethoscope that had been conjured around her neck on Pandora's wrist before smacking her cheek lightly.
"Sir, you can not socially kill what had no ‘life’ in the first place."
"Oh, right." the sorceress replied with a sigh. Her desk turned back to normal and her hospital gown shifted back into what she had worn to school but the heart monitor stayed on. The face beeping was now Bruce's instead of Pandora's before she waved it out of existence. "Still, I wanted anything between the two of us to stay that way, between the two of us. Now the whole school will know."
"I can hardly change the situation, sir." Cupcake replied.
"At least it can't get worse, right?"
"Good morning, Ponyville High! Mr. Freemane here with the morning announcements and boy do we have a spectacular morning's worth!"
"Oh lord." Pandora muttered. Before the usually soothing voice of a the school counselor continued on, she buried her face in her arms on her desk in an attempt to block it out or somehow make everyone in the room forget that she was sitting there. To her surprise, the announcements were relatively normal. No mention of prom other than it actually happening, no mention of scandal or rumors, there wasn't even a mention of the fight that almost broke out in the hallway earlier that morning, but much like her magic, high school is a very random place where even the best situations can be turned into the worst situation at the flip of a coin.
"And last but certainly not least, make sure you all get yourselves a copy of the school paper! The Candid Snaps segment is back with plenty of pictures of couples caught on and off the dance floor at Prom, with the newest couple in the school taking the front page!"
"Oh grandmothers, please don't let it happen."
"So if you see Pandora Sparkle and Bruce Carcharodon, make sure to congratulate them! And if you bet against me, pay up! Have a good morning Ponyville High!"
"Cupcake."
"Yes, sir."
"Add him to The List."
"Already on it."
______________________________
Cupcake's prediction was set off course by the morning announcements and the entirety of Ponyville High knew about Pandora’s prom night adventure. Students all around the school were busy spreading plenty of rumors with the help of Razzle Dazzle. Unbeknownst to Pandora, though she highly suspected it, Razzle had in fact had a word with Mr. Freemane and got the last 'announcement' put in. She had said it was a favor for a friend. Regrettably, the teachers of the school, while always enjoying the latest gossip around the school, were very distant from the way certain students truly interacted with each other when the eyes of the faculty weren't watching.
This lead to Pandora sulking the entire day until lunch and in an extremely bizarre choice, for her at least, she took lunch alone outside in a tree that she snapped into existence. Cupcake, ever faithful, sat and relaxed at the base of the tree and enjoyed her lunch with the mechanical precision that she did everything with. While she ate, she was also keeping a watchful eye for more rumor chasing students wanting a Q&A session with her boss.
Pandora on the other hand was far from enjoying her lunch up in her perch. An apple she managed to bring from home continued to dance on her knee as she started dismantling the sandwich her mother had made. As per the usual, she switched around what was where until she was satisfied with how crazy her meal looked, but the events of the day had left her with a deadened sense of taste so that she couldn't even enjoy the soda can she was sipping on. With a sigh, she tossed the hovering can-shaped mass of soda towards the school and gave a hint of a smile when it turned into a cloud that rained soda down on a group of freshmen students walking into the cafeteria.
"Stirrin' up trouble as always, eh, beanpole?"
Pandora jumped at the voice, sending the apple flying as she stood up and looked back at who had managed to sneak past Cupcake and climb up her tree. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was relieved to see Bruce leaning against the bark, a smirk playing across his stupid, cute, dumb, attractive face.
"Cupcake let you up?"
"Only way I'd get up here, right? Last time I tried sneakin' past'er she gave me a black eye, remember?" Bruce replied, taking a seat. "Takin' the whole thing badly, huh?"
"Queen Bitch herself is busy spreading rumors about how the fairy tale should now be 'Bruce and the Beanstalk', rousing the school into full crazy mode, and I'm the target of just about every jealous girl who ever wanted to get into your stupid pants. So yeah, I'm doing bucking fine, Bruce."
"You let that gal get under your skin way too easily, Pandora." Bruce replied, only to find himself held up against the tree by his collar.
"I've been called almost every variation of whore and slut since Razzle rigged the announcements, fish bait." Pandora whispered, glaring at him with a confused mixture of anger and sadness, and a want for the entire situation to just go away.
"I thought you'd be used to insults by now, it's the only way we talk." he whispered back.
"You make fun of my looks, my powers, and occasionally my boobs-which you refuse to admit are magnificent and drive you wild, but I know you. We know each other. We're rivals."
"So?"
"It's what we do, Bruce. We constantly fight over who's the best at causing people problems and all we really did was add a 'who's the best at sex' contest to the entire thing. Them.... Razzle... it's different for girls, ok?" Pandora replied, lowering him to the branch as gently as she could, but with all of her pent up anger and frustration, she barely managed to get him down without shaking him half to death.
"That bad, eh?" he finally murmured as he straightened out his jacket.
"Your ability for understatement is rivaled only by your arrogance, shark boy..." Pandora quipped darkly as she walked to the edge of the tree limb. As she walked, forward and her long-coat billowed a bit in the breeze, Bruce was once again reminded that not only was he dealing with a hormonal woman who just had the school turned against her in the most intimate of ways, he was also dealing with the daughter of two the most magically powerful beings on the planet. The view was stunning, to say the least with a certain cinematic quality to it; it wasn't until he noticed the black bars that blocked out a portion of the top and bottom of his vision that he realized she'd somehow put his vision into 'widescreen'.
Bruce blinked until his vision returned to normal and started forward before she turned back and looked him in the eyes. Ever since he'd known Pandora Sparkle, he knew of only two of her looks. There was the trademark mischievous grin and glint in her eyes before she played a prank on someone or went on an adventure, and then there was the evil smile she got when she was on the revenge trail. That night of prom, he was introduced to one he never thought he'd see when her playful grin took a lusty turn, and today he saw something he never believed existed.
The Princess of Chaos had a frown, and was visibly holding back tears. Whether they were angry or sad, he couldn't really tell, but it was more than enough to put a hold on the tough guy attitude he kept up.
"Panny..." he whispered, trying to find words while also trying to figure out whether or not to add a playful jab, "You're not gonna beat 'er. She's got too many friends, too many contacts, and way too much pull with the way that herd of sheep thinks."
"Then what do you suppose we do? Keep pretending it didn't happen? Dance around the school with flower necklaces? We don't even like each other." she spat.
"Yeah, but we both hate each other equally... I'unno Pandora, what would your dad do? What about your mom?" Bruce asked.
"I... mom would lecture about it, dad would turn her into a giant marshmallow or turn the tables somehow." she mused, tapping her chin slowly and walking around in circles both on the branch and in midair.
"Could always go with that last idea."
"How so?"
"Turn the tables? Dance around with the flower necklaces and all that. Only, you know, not actually dancin'." Bruce told her, walking forward and pulling her back onto the branch.
"There is no way I'm acting all lovey dovey for a shortstack like you, scarface." she growled in reply as jabbed her finger into his chest a few times.
"Didn't expect you to, slim. But you're the daughter of Discord. The Discord. Mischief is practically your middle name, right? Breakin' rules an' all that?"
"You're suggesting I actually turn her into a marshmallow?"
"Nah, more like let's see how many times we can break the rules using each other." the fisherman told her, giving a rather evil smirk of his own that she matched.
"Now you're talking my language." she smirked, before her expression took another serious turn, "But why the pep talk, shorty? We tolerate each other at best and you're not exactly known for even having feelings."
"For my reputation, not for you.” he replied, keeping up his trademark smug smirk.
“Excuse me?”
“I'm Bruce buckin’ Carcharodon; the guy who punched a shark when he was 8, has been in more fights than Rocky, and whose special talent is literally being tough and tenacious. I have a reputation to keep, and I can't have casual sex with just anyone... she's gotta hate me and want to kill me."
"Not kill you..." Pandora chimed in, running a finger down the center of his chest teasingly, "Maybe maim... maybe turn into a goldfish and dump into a pond for a month... or maybe I should just bind you to my tree and keep you here for the rest of the school day in just your boxers."
"You'll do anythin' just to get my shirt off, won't you string bean?"
"Come off it, Nemo, I saw the way you were staring at my chest Friday." Pandora purred, but before she could do anything more than tease her fingers over Bruce's shoulders the warning bell signalling the end of lunch sounded. Both rivals cursed under their breath before Pandora sent the tree back into the ground and stopped running her hands over her... whatever he was. She didn’t even really know at this point but she didn’t care.
"If we're really doing this, you're going to have a lot of bite marks by the end of the week." the trickster goddess-in-training said, glancing playfully at him from over her shoulder before she and Cupcake disappeared in a flash of white light.
"Wouldn't have it any other way, Pandorka."
