In which metaphors are overused
Perhaps the combustion stopped, thus creating an surplus of gasses in the chamber.
Maybe the energy conductor shorted out, setting the entire tank ablaze.
There's still the possibility that Twilight put too much magic into the machine from the start.
Whatever had happened, the treehouse had most definitely exploded.
Once standing tall and proud now laid on the ground. By laid of course, we mean in ashes, on the ground. A miserable, miserable pile of ashes at that. In fact, one would think this state was caused by some otherworldly, supernatural force- what was once proud was so quickly turned into a pile of shame.
When considered, this assumption is actually very true- taking place with karma. Not against Twilight, of course, a pony such as Twilight could never deserve such a fate, but instead at the tree itself.
Taking up all the water.
Glutton.
Of course, whatever being controls karma- if indeed, there is one- had not taken into consideration that what they would do to the tree would subsequently affect Twilight as well.
"BUCKING RUT DONKEY ASS!" was one of her popular phrases at the moment.
Twilight was making a large pile of dust (and quite terribly, ashes) rise into the wind with her excessive stomping. In fact, with her excessive and extremely loud yelling, she may have been raising it with her voice as well.
Obviously, when a pony is in a mood like this- ESPECIALLY TWILIGHT SPARKLE- they are not easy to reason with.
In fact, reasoning with an extremely mad pony is about as easy as bending iron with nothing but the power of excessive staring. Following that reasoning, that shows that reasoning with an extremely mad Twilight Sparkle is about as easy as bending five separate pieces of iron, backwards, upside down, while juggling and singing show-tunes from the 1960's with the power of staring.
In other words, completely and utterly unlikely.
Following true, Spike was having no luck.
"Twilight-" an attempt from him for reason.
"RUTTING SHIT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS SPIKE? THE PRINCESS PAYS FOR THIS BUCKING LIBRARY!"
"I'm sure she'll under-"
"She'll send me to the moon... or worse... magic kindergarten!" her voice became suddenly fearful.
Spike realized his chance.
You learn things after living with an overreacting, OCD, complete and utter perfectionist unicorn.
Especially things about dealing with that overreacting, OCD, complete and utter perfectionist unicorn.
He had it handled.
"Twilight. You know Celestia, she won't send you to the moon or back to magic kindergarten."
"You don't know that! Anything could happen because this BUCKING DONKEY ASS HOUSE DECIDED TO BURN DOWN."
"No, you had no control over what happened. She will realize that."
"But-"
"Twilight, please trust me just this once. I'm sure everything will be just fine when our friends get here."
That really calmed Twilight down. Spike had a bit of a ability with calming Twilight down. In fact, he had gotten so good at it that in most cases he managed to avoid the fire entirely and just remove the pan from the flame.
She took a big sigh before speaking, "I guess you're right Spike. Thanks for calming me down."
Spike smiled in return, it felt good to have avoided the flame again...
...and not just metaphorically, Twilight could literally go up in flames at points. But hey, what is a dragon gonna' do?
"It's no problem really. It's only natural, considering how cool of a dragon I am."
Indeed.
"Calm down big shot, it was only one compliment."
"That's all I need."
Pretty soon both of the two were laughing at the comment. Really laughing too, rolling on the floor in a fit of giggles and hysteria. Perhaps because of the stress relief it brought, or perhaps because Spike's comment really was that funny to the two of them, they were in a fit of laughter.
This fit of laughter must have looked pretty strange for a pony who's house had just burned down.
Especially if the pony watching was Rainbow Dash.
When Rainbow Dash had heard about the fire, her first reaction was to tell everypony as quickly as possible. Flying extremely fast- even for her- she told everypony quickly, asked them to get supplies, etc. She knew Twilight was going to need their help. She knew that they had to do everything they could to help their friend in her time of need.
And that time of need was now.
Or, at least Rainbow Dash thought that time of need was now. Apparently however, Twilight was actually fine and dandy with all her possessions and books destroyed. In fact, she was having a laughing fit over it.
"What in buck?" was the only thing that she could say. Actually, it was the only thing she could think.
Rainbow Dash had to wait before the laughing subsided for Twilight to actually address the issue, and of course, that was several minutes.
Minutes of laughter.
When it had finally died down enough that Twilight could actually speak, Twilight could only say what first came to mind. "Ur... hi, Dash?"
Dash felt somewhat robbed. Sure, she was glad that Twilight wasn't a moping bitch bucket, but she also felt like her efforts were for nothing, that she was essentially robbed. When Dash thought about how she had spent so much work and effort to secure Twilight's safety and notify her friends- only to find Twilight fine and dandy, it placed a deep feeling in her gut.
Rainbow Dash didn't just feel robbed, she felt kind of angry too.
This was evident to Spike.
He knew when shit was about to hit the fan- and when it came to Dash, it was going to be the shittiest fan shit the fan had ever been thrown.
He'd prefer the safety of the woods over the safety of shit this time.
"What the buck? I just spent my entire morning getting everypony over here to help you with overcoming the fact that your entire life has been destroyed to find you happy as can be? Is this a prank or something?"
Twilight detected the shit throwing maniac a little too late apparently.
"We came as fast as we could!"
Luckily for Twilight, karma did something right and stopped the shit midflight- straight into the chest. As a child, karma had been an avid fan of the Matrix- which clearly did come in handy unlike commonly thought. However, on the other side of the poop-throwing spectrum, it should be noted that a said poop throwing maniac would be eating Taco Bell again..
As a sidenote, it should be taken into consideration that this joke is overused- as a 'representative' from the video-game Call of Duty stated once, "That is fucking gay ass shit and you should kill yourself you fucker."
So then in the completely lazy ending of this chapter, Twilight's other friends arrive to save Twilight from that extremely awkward moment. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER? ONLY TIME WILL TELL- BUT WAIT, TWIST ENDING, TIME CAN'T SPEAAAAKKKKKKKK
A/N
I hereby apology for my terrible humor and writing- also for the shameless self endorsement:
If you want to read another, stupider story, check out "The Generic HIE Fic" here.
...yep.
