Bob at Equestria

by Paulo Guina

Prologue

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It was a stormy night, lightnings were illuminating the dark sky while loud thunders made fearful people tremble in fear in their beds,

under their blanket. The poor citizens of São Paulo were driving their cars, going to a friend's home, doing business things and other stupid stuffs. But in a certain building with the word "Vinet" on it, the things were different; Bob's employees were building a machine, a portal for dimension traveling, with the objective of gathering more resources for the world domination.

"What's the situation of the portal, Darth Fresh?" asked Bob, walking on the corridor to the Portal's Room at the Vinet Building's antepenult floor, with his hands behind his back.

5 months of search about dimensional traveling, chemistry and math to create a portal capable of a such advanced thing like this. Last week it was 97 % complete, Bob hired more 9 Russian scientists to make things faster. However, they didn't understand Bob's order, so he killed them with his garrucha. The portal just needed some more pieces and more plutonium to work and the scientists were just searching a way to protect who enter the portal from the radiation.

"It's complete, master. The scientists are waiting for you in the Portal's Room," replied Darth Fresh, hooded as always.

"Optimum, that's optimum! Ah ha ha ha!" laughed Bob, entering the Portal's Room.

As Bob entered the room, all the scientists and guards stood side by side, doing a kind of corridor to the portal. The portal was complete, it looked like a metalic big circle, with an small ramp in front of a large metal box with the stuff that makes the portal work. Bob grinned, finally he was going to destroy the youtube channel ColoniaContraAtaca and some others that bothers him, making the big studios happy because these channels won't use part of their movies to make videos or etc.

An employee approached him holding a black walking stick and said, "Here is your walking stick, boss." The employee gave the walking stick to his boss, who fettle his red tie and took the walking stick. After that, the man with a black tie and a white t-shirt exited the room. Bob waved his hand, doing a signal. It was time for testing. Immediately, the guards and the scientists entered in a chamber 7 meters away at the left of the portal. Darth Fresh locked the door of the Portal's Room and followed Bob to the chamber. They saw the portal by a bulletproof and very resistant clean window. From the chamber, the 4 scientists pressed buttons and pulled levers of a control panel, while the other looked to a computer while its screen showed green lines of codes and numbers.

"Activate the robot," Bob ordered a scientist. He nodded and typed some codes at the panel's keyboard, opening a small metal door beside the portal. From it, a 1 meter long robot with six thick wheels and a thirty centimeters head that was a camera went in front of the portal's ramp. The scientist that was controlling the robot by a remote control looked to Bob, who nodded. The scientist looked to the other waiting to press the button and nodded. He pressed the big striped yellow and black button and pulled a lever, turning the portal's two blue giroflex and the buzzer up. Some rays came from the portal, and after 20 seconds a blue spiral light appeared in the metallic circle. The portal was opened.

The robot controller controled the robot to enter the portal, while Bob and the other people in the chamber were observing the robot's vision by a screen at a big computer. The robot entered the portal. The screen stayed in static, causing Bob to frown. The scientists tried to calm him while they shut down the portal.

"WHAT? FIVE MONTHS OF WORK, 17 MILLIONS OF REAIS SPENT ON THIS FOR A MACHINE THAT JUST DESTROY THINGS?" shouted Bob, puto da vida ragefully.

"Please calm down, boss! Just because we lost the connection with the robot's camera that doesn't mean the portal just destroy things! Maybe it teleported the robot to another dimension!" said a scientist, trying to calm down his boss.

Bob ignored him and exited the chamber. He went to the Portal's Room door, unlocking and opening it, to saw the employee that gave him his walking stick before. The employee was holding a tray of paçocas, and said, "Boss, here is the paçocas you requested this morning."

That made Bob calm a bit. Paçoca is his favorite candy and he loved it. He let his employee to enter the room, the scientists were still on the chamber, typing to try to get a connection with the robot's camera. Bob got a paçoca and ate it, spitting after.

"Where you got that paçoca?" Bob asked, slowly raising his head and frowning.

"I got it from some people of Paraguai that was selling them in the park yesterday," the employee replied.

"I TOLD YOU TO DON'T BUY THINGS FROM PARAGUAI! IT'S ALL FAKE! THIS PAÇOCA IS FAKE! IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE COLOR OF A NORMAL PAÇOCA!" Bob yelled.

"I-I'm sorry, b-boss! I'll get a 100 % Brazilian paçoca right n-now!"

"NO! JUST GET OUT OF MY VISION BEFORE I KILL YOU, YOU USELESS!"

"I found the problem!" said a scientist, pressing some buttons.

The portal's giroflex started to shine again and the buzzer to make sounds. The chamber's door locked itself automatically, Darth Fresh could do nothing to help his boss. The employee ran out of the room while the spiral portal began to appear, and suck everything into it.

"That wasn't supposed to happen!" said the scientist.

Bob tried to grab the door handle, but he was sucked into the portal. Seconds after he flew into the portal, it crashed and smoke began to come from the metallic box under the metallic circle. The scientists ran to tell everyone what happended and Darth Fresh ordered the guards to call every scientist and engineer of the enterprise to come to the Portal's Room to fix the portal as soon as possible.