Heavy & Medic's time in Equestria

by The Lutece twins

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Adventure
Length: 2328

What would happen if a RED Heavy & Medic step on a new type of teleporter that they find & get transported to Equestria? Some good comedy.

Heavy & Medic, two people that worked together ever since they met each other. Heavy was also Medic's first test subject of his Uber charge as well. Heavy on the other hand, protects Medic. But what would happen if one day while they were facing their enemy's & they test out a new type of teleporter that they find, get transported to a world of technicolor-ed ponies, & find themselves tuned into ponies? Some major confusion, & good comedy.

Published 2015-03-28 04:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-28 04:30:02 UTC

Chapter 1: The new teleporter

RED and BLU once again where in the throes of battle. The battle raged on at the Offblast site, a missile base comfortably tucked away into a mountain. Soldiers running about firing fiery explosive projectiles at anything that moved.

Demomen dashing into the fray letting off the satisfying ‘thump thump’ of their launchers, burning away Engineer's contraptions, or just knocking back a fine brew.

Spys used their stealth tech and light feet to finesse themselves behind enemies laying waste to high value targets

Pyros stalked about finding their foes to release heavy blasts of napalm to turn flesh into charcoal. Their laughs drowned out by screams as their deluded minds portrayed lovely rainbows and happy times for all.

Engineers hastily set up sentry turrets in key positions, teleporters at far distances from deploy to front lines, and dispensers to feed those same front lines.

Medics ran about in search of injured and healing or overhealing anyone they crossed.

Heavies moved sluggishly about bringing to bear their obscenely deadly miniguns crying out in joy and aggression, and nomming ever so happily on their ‘sandviches’. No one wanted to be within range of their fierce weapons, nor within grabbing distance of their thick well muscled hands as they crushed anything that came near with brute force and a happy hearty laugh.

Snipers stared down from their vantage points cleanly taking off heads of those unwise enough to part from cover without care. Their thick Australian accents could be heard as they laughed loudly calling out their kills and taunting the enemy team.

Scouts as per usual were running about at top speed, running into bombs, getting set on fire, falling off the cliffs, shot, stabbed, etc. etc. All the sure fire signs of a young and stupid soul in the heart of battle.

However, two individuals within RED seemed to be having a slightly different day. Heavy and Medic, having served together for a very long time and grown quite accustomed to each other. Medic could always depend on Heavy to swat  the annoying or invasive pursuers who threatened his livelihood, and Heavy despite his ability to take quite a beating; was far from immortal and needed the upkeep that the good Medic provided despite how questionable his medical experience was. The two shared a good symbiotic and some would even say, brotherly relationship despite how drastically different their personalities were.

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Medic slid his fingertips to the corner of the building they currently occupied as cover to sneak a peek around the corner. His battled honed but not all too impressive reflexes caused him to reel back as bullets peppered his cover and cast debris against his glasses.

"Oh! zhat was close." Medic said in his usual rather odd “oh look death” sort of mannerisms before peeking out again and seeing a surplus of Soldiers, Scouts, and Demomen. "Ach, zhis is not good." looking about worriedly he counted his precious few options.

"Medic!" A thick hearty voice blared as Heavy’s solid footsteps rushed him up the path to Medic.

Knowing the voice by heart he turned with a smile "Ah yes” His attention pulled away from the dangerous corner and leveled at Heavy. “Heavy, good to see you." His thick German accent was just enough to leave Heavy at ease just as Medic’s eyes scanned over the speed of Heavy’s foot falls becoming convinced that he was not a Spy in the form of his old friend.

"No time for talk Doctor!" Heavy said with his thick accent and slightly broken English. "Let us kill cowards…" Lifting his mini-gun and gesturing towards Medic’s medical applicator with a grin.

A mischievous smile formed over Medic's face as he pulled up his medi gun. With a firm nod Medic trigged the ubercharge on his medi gun and leveled it at Heavy.

A red gas-like substance flowed towards and into Heavy. Suddenly, the bright shiny red, the effects of the ubercharge crept up Heavy’s body until he was completely clad in the red indestructible effects of the ubercharge. Heavy ran as fast as his large frame would allow, around the corner, with Medic in tow, and let loose with his precious Sasha.

"EEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Heavy dominating screams echoed as bullet after bullet left his gun punching through all who stood before him. Behind Heavy, Medic could not help but give into his traditional maniac laugh as he “practiced” medicine.

With the enemy dropping like flies, one after another; rockets, bombs, shotgun blasts, pistol rounds all and promptly bouncing off of the duo. A stray mini-gun round plunged into a Demoman's ammo bag causing it to explode. A small chain of explosions sent bits and pieces of BLU team flying in all directions.

It did not take very long until every enemy was dead. Medic released the grip on his medi gun canceling what little was left of the uberchage, causing them to revert back to normal.

"Anuhza successful procedure!" Medic happily sounded with a smile.

"Da! Let's go doctor." Heavy happily nodded, turning and heading down stairs deeper into the base.

Medic gave a nod and followed Heavy. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, they could hear the familiar metal clanging.

"I vonder what that could be?" Medic sarcastically asked Heavy, who just shrugged. As much as Medic enjoyed having Heavy around he did long for a comrade that was a shade smarter than Heavy.

Casually they followed the sound, but before they could even get half way there, the clanging stopped. Medic and Heavy look at each other and offer a shrug. Continuing to follow the point of origin for the noise which seemed to be somewhat near. They both turned the corner and see a teleporter. Slightly larger than normal, as if it was made to hold two people. It was on as well, Spinning and humming with the bright colors. Obviously a RED team construct but no one was near it. Medic could easily see an Engineer's toolbox, but didn't see the corresponding Engineer.

"I vonder why Engineer did not tell us of this" Medic calmly stated stepping closer to the teleporter.

"Da!" Heavy mumbled following closely.

"It doesn't look too safe to be near it." Medic’s somewhat rare cautionary side was showing.

"We should test it out Doctor…" Heavy grinned knowing that most of the stuff Engineer made was quite a bit of fun.

"I don't zhink tha-" Medic never finished when heavy grabbed his arm and pulled him into the teleporter with a hearty and playful laugh. There was a flash of light and the usual teleportation sound, and both just as was the norm Medic and Heavy were gone. The teleporter stoped spinning, just as Engineer came back.

"What in the devil?! Someone used my new teleporter, and dang nab it, the sucker shut down. Now its gonna take some time to turn on again." He leaned closer to the teleporter to get a good look. "And by the looks of it, she’s gone and  short circuited, which will take even longer to fix. Whoever's in there will be in for a one heck of a ride." he said, grabbing his favorite wrench to continue his work on the teleporter.

Within the teleportation field. Medic and Heavy wailed loudly holding tight onto each other. This was nothing like Engineer’s usual toys. There was another flash of light, a falling sensation, then darkness.

Chapter 2: The strange new land

"Applebloom," A white unicorn filly named sweetie belle said. "Why are we in the Everfree forest again?" she asks.

"To find new things!" said a light yellow earth pony filly with a pink bow on her head.

"Why?" asked a orange Pegasus filly named Scootaloo.

"Because just think about it," Applebloom said. "Why wouldn't anypony come in here besides that its dangerous. Because no pony, besides Zecora who doesn't really leave her hut except to get plants, has found anything. Just think about it, finding a old statue or something." she said, her eyes sparkling a little bit.

Sweetie belle and Scootaloo eye's sparkle as well. They nod.

"CUTIE MARK TREASURE HUNTERS, YAY!!"  All three yell. Suddenly there was a flash of light, the sound of thunder, and the sound of tree branches snapping, making them scream and jump.

"What was that!" Sweetie belle yelled.

"I don't know," Applebloom said. "But it stopped right in front of us. Let's go check it out!"

"Yea!" Scootaloo and Sweetie bell said.

The three filly's dashed towards the sound, trying to figure out what crashed in front of them. They ran into a clearing where the crashing sound came from. They stop dead in their tracks at what they see. Two ponies were sprawled out unconscious, one earth pony and one unicorn.

"Oh, no!" Applebloom yelled, running to the two ponies, with Sweetie bell and Scootaloo in tow.

They stop in front of the the two ponies and have a look for injuries. (Here's what heavy look's like ,

Medic looks like this)

"It looks like their fine." Sweetie belle said. "But I wonder what this is." she said, pointing to a thing that has multiple barrels protruding from it, lying next to the earth pony.

"Or this," Scootaloo said, pointing to a nozzle like thing that has a hose that is attached to a bizarre contraption on the unicorns back.

"They also have strange cutie marks as well." Applebloom said, looking at the ponies cutie marks.

The earth ponies cutie mark seemed to be a red fist in a circle surrounded by four lines in a diagonal. The CMC had no idea what it meant. The earth ponies cutie mark is also on the vest it's wearing as well. But as they looked at the unicorns cutie mark, they recognize it as a doctor's symbol, a red plus sign. And like the earth pony, the unicorns cutie mark is on it's doctor's cloths. They stared at the strange objects laying and attached to the ponies. The CMC shook their heads and looked at each other.

"We gotta help them." Sweetie belle said, looking at Applebloom.

"Right!" both Applebloom and Scootaloo said.

"let's take them to back to my sister." Applebloom said, which made the other two nod.

So, the CMC grab the two ponies and drag them as best as they could over to Applejack's farm.

Meanwhile at Apple family farm.

Applejack and Big Macintosh were kicking apple trees to harvest the apples. They were almost done with the harvest with only a few trees left to buck.

"Applejack!" Applejack heard a familiar voice, right as she was about to buck the apple tree she was facing. She turned and see's Applebloom and her friends coming towards her. She also see's them drag something behind them. Applejack goes towards them.

"Why in tarnation wher-" Applejack started, but stopped when she saw what the girls were dragging, two unconscious ponies, with strange objects attached to them.

"*gasp* Girls! were did you find them!?" Applejack asks.

"In the Everfree forest Applejack." Applebloom said.

"Quickly, get them inside the barn, the house will be too small for all of us." Applejack said, grabbing the earth pony.

"Right!"  The three fillies yell, grabbing the unicorn and following Applejack.

Applejack sent Scootaloo and Sweetie belle to get Twilight.

"So let me get this straight," Applejack said. "You found these two in the Everfree, while trying to find your cutie marks?" she said, a little angry at the last part.

"Yes." Applebloom said, looking down.

"we'll talk about this later Applebloom, but we have more important business. Like if these ponies are okay, and what are these strange objects that they have." Applejack said, just as Twilight entered the barn.

"Ah, Twilight." Applejack said.

"You called?" Twilight said.

"Yes, have a look." Applejack said, showing Twilight the two ponies. Twilight goes to the ponies and looks at them.

"Strange cutie marks, weird clothing, strange objects, like as if they are weapons of some sort, don't know. Besides some cuts and a few bruises, they'll be fine. " Twilight said.

"That's good." Applejack said. Twilight nods.

"Yes it is. But the thing is, who are they and where did they come from. And are the str-" Twilight started, but was cut off by some moaning, which came from the unicorn.

"uungh," the unicorn moaned.

"I think he's waking up!" Applejack said.

"uungh," Medic said.

"I think he's waking up!" a voice yelled.

'Who is zhat?' Medic thought as he opened his eyes

Medic groggily looked about and his eyes settled at the ground to see that Instead of hands, he had hooves. Touching his head in the sheer pacing of panic he felt that he also had a horn.

"EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" The new unicorn's scream was loud and filled with a somewhat odd mix of terror, confusion, and in general amusement. Hooves clopping to the top of his head, eyes wide his mouth parted again.

"What has happened to me! Warum Ich ein Einhorn!!".

"Hey, You okay there sugarcube!?" A certain rather rustic voice came to him from just beyond his peripheral vision. Medic quickly turned towards the voice to see two small pastel colored horses staring at him, ponies. A orange one with a stetson hat, and a purple unicorn staring at him with far more emotion that what a normal equine could.

"EEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Medic's slightly delayed reaction yet again left the two pony's ears ringing. Shaking his head in disbelief he muttered. "Ich glaube, ich werde verrückt!!!" His mind going native once more before the surge of oddity overpowered him and very much unlike the structured if not rather untrustworthy German mercenary, Medic fainted.

"Oh, that's not good." Twilight said, walking towards the unicorn.

"I hope that weird fella wakes up, That was one heck of a freak out." Applejack said

"I hope so, cause I have a lot of questions to ask them." Twilight said.

TO BE CONTINUED