Derpy Days of Fashion

by CharmingChaos

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1837

Derpy Hooves is discovered by Photo Finish as the next star. What havoc will she wreak now?

Derpy Hooves is discovered in one of Rarity's fashion shows by the legendary Photo Finish, who seems extremely good at picking out the most unlikely models.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-18 04:56:13 UTC

The Show

Derpy Hooves stuck her perfectly styled, tiara'd head between the curtains to watch Spike give his traditional introductory speech.

"Get back here! Everypony can see you, you dodo!" Carrot Top yanked Derpy away from her post with a glare. "Besides, you should probably go see Rarity. Your mane is a mess again."

"It's fine, really," Lyra's soft, musical voice gently interrupted them. "Carrot's just nervous. It's her first time, you know. When we were fillies, She used to want to be a model."

Spike's amplified voice burst into the backstage area. "And now, fillies and gentlecolts, I present you the magnificent, the amazing, the--"

"Just get on with it!" Someone in the audience shouted.

"OK, OK," Spike grumbled. "The fashions and styles of today, as designed by our own Rarity of Ponyville!"

Cue music, chosen and played by Vinyl Scratch, who had come by special request and was on the program.

Then the curtains opened, and Lyra, dressed in a gauzy, floaty, pale yellow dress, stepped delicately out. Derpy watched from the sidelines as the turquoise pony walked and spun gracefully as a leaf in the wind. I'll never manage. What if I trip? Oh, I can't go on, I just cant.

Lyra turned a full circle at the end of the runway, and floated back as gracefully as before, smiling from ear to ear. BonBon went out next in a frilly pink and blue dress, walking with a happy, almost childish bounce in her step, as Rarity had instructed her. She twirled on her hind legs at the end, letting her flowing gown spin around her, and skipped back cheerfully, with a trademark giggle as she exited.

Cheerilee and Berry Punch went together, wearing a set of pink dresses that almost matched and went wonderfully with their almost identicle purple coats. They curtseyed, and paraded back as perfectly together as before.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash was tapping Derpy on the shoulder. "You're next," she whispered. "Just try not to trip, OK?" Rainbow Dash gave Derpy a reassuring squeeze and a little push to get her started. Derpy gasped in surprise, but started to walk forward as best she could in the painfully high heels Rarity had forced onto her feet. She looked for Dinky in the crowd, but the little filly was no-where to be seen. Derpy was a quarter of the way down the runway before she tripped. Her shoe got caught on the train of her white dress, and she fell face first, rump in the air, right there in front of all the fancy ponies who came to see Rarity's designs. Derpy picked herself up, a hot, umcomfortable blush adorning her cheeks, and disentangled herself as much as possible to continue. She managed to get all the way to the lit-up circle at the end without another fall. Derpy smiled halfheartedly, tears glistening in the bright, hot lights, and turned slowly, carefully to avoid tripping.

"STOP!" A familiar, heavily accented voice commanded. "Come! I hef found ze next model!"

Derpy looked around her. Had one of the other ponies come out to help her and been spotted? No. Well, Photo Finish must have seen an audience member that she liked.

Photo Finish marched authoritatively towards the runway, her two assistants hurrying along on either side of her. She hopped up by a set of hidden stairs and slowly circled a shocked, frozen Derpy.

"Ye-e-e-es" Photo Finish said amid the complete silence of the audience. "Ze show is over. You. Meet me tomorrow at zis "Carousel Boutique" you hef here." She turned her back to Derpy, facing the assistants who stood below her. "Vee Go!"

The audience parted as if by an unseen force to let the famous pony through. Derpy came unfrozen and ran back into the dark backstage in a desperate effort to avoid the prying eyes of all who had witnessed the queer passing of events.

Carousel Boutique

Derpy waited anxiously in Rarity's dressing room, standing awkwardly as Rarity fussed with her hair, because she wasn't allowed to dress her. Derpy sighed as Rarity gelled and sprayed and combed and curled her hair for the hundredth time that day.

"Is something wrong, darling?" Rarity levitated a mirror in front of Derpy so she could see herself.

"No, I'm fine, really." Derpy stared at her reflection. "Just... Nervous."

"Why? Is this manestyle not good? Is there anything I can do?" Rarity asked anxiously, watching the grey mare with a look of concern.

"No, I-I don't think so. I'm just worried I'll mess up," Derpy confessed. "I'm called Ponyvilles Biggest Clutz for a reason, you know. What if I trip again, like last night?"

"You'll do fabulously, I just know it," Rarity gave the pegasus a reassuring squeeze. "Photo Finish always has a good reason for what she does. Always."

"But I don't know... if I even want to do this." Derpy said hesitantly, her shoulders sagging.

"Oh, but dear, you know you don't have to, don't you?" Rarity said anxiously. She didn't want Derpy to feel like she couldn't say no.

"No. No, it's fine. I'll... get used to it. I'm just worried about Dinky. I've heard about models never having time for themselves, and I can't have that. Dinky's dad passed away a few years ago, so I'm all she has left. I'd hate to have to leave her with a foalsitter all day long. She's such a delicate little thing..." Derpy trailed off, a worried look in her eyes.

"Nonsense. I'm sure they'll let you see Dinky. She is your filly, after all." Even as she said them, Rarity knew her words were a lie. Well, not a lie, per se, but certainly not the truth, She herself had experienced how Fluttershy had never had any time for anything.

"Well, alright then, I'll be fine,Rarity." The blonde pegasus put a smile on her face, for Rarity's sake, and added, "And the manestyle is perfect. I just love it!"

Rarity smiled back happily. "Fabulous. Oh! There's the door! Coming!" Rarity rushed out into the shop, already saying various greetings out loud, practicing.

"Good morning, Ms Finish!" Rarity trilled as she led the famous pony into the shop. "Yes, she's waiting in the dressing room-- yes, I'll get her at once. Derpy?"

Derpy took a deep breath and one last glance at herself in the mirror. "You look smashing." She said to herself, quoting the fashionista who was already coming to get her. Then she called out, "Coming, Miss Rarity!" And stepped out.

Photo Finish already had her camera ready, and her two assistants rushed to Derpy's side, circling with brushes, combs, and outfits, ready to transform the plain grey pegasus into a thing of beauty, to be displayed all over Equestria. Rarity stood to the side, watching. Derpy looked to her for moral support, and she gave a small smile of reassurance.

"STOP!" Photo Finish said suddenly. The assistants had forced Derpy's petite body into a garishly pink and yellow miniskirt and a white, lacy shirt. Frankly, Derpy thought it looked awful, but she kept her mouth shut. Assistant #1 had been repeatedly put on and taken off different colours of makeup, waiting for the photographer to show some sign of approval. She stopped on command, leaving Derpy's eyelids and cheeks a sickening shade of pink.

"You! Walk to me," Photo Finish barked at Derpy. "Slowly!" She added after the pegasus began walking.

Derpy held her breath, all her thoughts forming into one hopeful little chant. Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip, don't trip, don't trip. She walked slowly forward, keeping her eyes on the floor, watching out for anything she might crash into.

"Look up!" The command sent Derpy sprawling in surprise. Her head had whipped up too quickly, causing her to lose her balance. Yet again, she ended up with her rear in the air in front of the most well-known photographers in Equestria.

"Oh, gosh-- I-- um..." Derpy stammered, her cheeks flaring red under all the blush.

"Perfect." Photo Finish said slowly. "Stay zere!" She positioned herself behind the camera, and after several snaps from the machine, the legendary pony commanded Derpy to walk again. This time, Derpy had a limp from the fall, but that seemed to delight Photo Finish, who simply took more pictures.

"Erm, ex-excuse me?" Rarity walked up behind the photographer and tapped her shoulder. "I think your model is, uh, hurt."

"Just a little." Derpy sat down on a large armchair and rubbed her injured hoof. "But I would like a break. Rarity, could I have a drink?"

"I go." Photo Finish kicked her camera back into its case and swept out, her assistants hurrying after her. "Vee meet at dawn."

Preparation and Hesitation

"Oh, this has got to be just perfect." Rarity trotted back and forth, her horn glowing as she adjusted the hats, shoes, skirts, and everything else on her models. She'd taken care not to have Fluttershy in sight, just in case Photo Finish changed her mind.

Carrot Top, Berry Punch, Cheerilee and several others stood patiently in their outfits as Rarity frantically tugged and pinned, a whirlwind of nervous energy as she rushed from pony to pony, her perfectionist senses on overdrive.

Derpy Hooves, unlike the other models, was not standing still in her place. She had wandered away to talk to Rainbow Dash, and managed to trip over nothing at all. Now the grey, bubble-flanked pegasus was being led back to her place by a nervous-looking Rainbow Dash, who was doing her best to fix the gown still tangled around Derpy's hooves.

"My dear, you're doing it all wrong," Rarity pushed Rainbow Dash out of the way to put Derpy's dress back the way she wanted it.

"Erm serrer, Erm not a frshion desherner," Rainbow Dash protested through a mouthful of pins. The pins were roughly pulled out of her mouth in a cloud of blue-white magic as Rarity adjusted the costume on the pony standing in front of her. Dash rubbed her lips reproachfully. "Ow, Rarity. I'm not a pin cushion, you know. "

"Oh my stars, these shoes are simply ghastly, don't you think, Rainbow? The heels need to be so much taller, and, erm, sparklier, right?" Rarity scurried off to find some better hoofwear without even a glance at her friends.

"Um, Miss Rarity?" Derpy asked nervously when the white and purple unicorn returned. "I, um, I don't usually do well in heels."

"Nonsense, darling, they  look simply fabulous." Rarity gave Derpy's mane an affectionate pat, then jumped back as if shocked. "Oh! How careless! I've ruined your manestyle! Terribly sorry." She called over her shoulder. "Twilight? Bring the hairspray, darling."

The hairspray popped into view just in front of Rarity, and she caught it neatly in a little blue-white haze of magic.

"Thank you, Twilight. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without all of you." Rarity said to no-one in particular. "Oh, and Derpy dear, you can fly, remember?"