The castle in Canterlot was calm this morning, which was very unusual. The princesses had no meetings today, and were enjoying the calm weather outside. There was not a single cloud in the bright blue sky, just a few pegasi minding their own business. Most of the guards were trying to get a shift outdoors so that they could enjoy themselves too. Except for Flash Sentry. He had his own plans for the day.
He walked through the castle halls until he reached the castle library. He opened the door and entered the room, looking between all the bookshelves until he found what he was looking for: a lavender-coloured pony with a golden crown on her dark purple hair. She looked up from the book she had picked from the shelf and noticed that Flash Sentry was there.
"Oh! Hi, Flash Sentry," Twilight said, a bit surprised. "So...how's it going?"
"Uh, great," Flash Sentry replied. Feeling as awkward as she did, especially after getting such an informal greeting from a princess. "So....." he just stood there, at a loss for words.
"Yes?"
"This might be weird, but..."
"But what?" Twilight asked, hesitant.
"W-Well, I wanted to know...what your favourite food is!" Flash Sentry asked. He winced and asked himself why he couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Funny you mention that," Twilight replied. "I was just researching food from Europe. There is this particularly interesting food called spaghetti."
"Spaghetti?"
"Yeah. It's an Italian food, and it looks like long strings. It's in the grains food group," she explained. "And it supposedly tastes pretty good with tomato sauce, vegetables, cheese, or even on it's own."
"Interesting." Flash Sentry took a moment to visualize this strange dish in his head.
"What made you ask about my favourite food?" asked Twilight. But before she could get an answer, Flash Sentry started galloping to the exit of the library.
"Sorry, Princess!" Flash Sentry apologized, calling out from the door of the library. "But I must head to the kitchen!"
Princess Twilight stood there with a confused look on her face before shaking her head and going back to reading.
* * *
Once Flash Sentry had arrived at the kitchen, he took off his Royal Guard armour and donned a chef's hat and apron. He ran to the shelf of recipe books and searched for a spaghetti recipe. A royal chef entered the kitchen soon after. She didn't notice anything unusual until her hoof bumped into the armour that was lying on the ground. Then she recognized Flash Sentry.
"Shouldn't you be on guard duty?" she asked. "Sorry if this comes of as rude, but food preparation is a job for us chefs, not for you guards."
Flash Sentry looked at her while grabbing a few onions from a cabinet. "Look, I need to make the best spaghetti for Princess Twilight, and nothing will stop me."
"Spaghetti?" the chef asked. "Well, you know, I could have some of the other chefs teach you how to make it."
But Flash Sentry did not listen, as he was determined to impress Twilight Sparkle by making the dish himself. He grabbed a recipe book in his hooves and began to read the pages. Then, he ran around the kitchen, looking for the ingredients he needed. Within minutes, the kitchen counters and floor were covered in flour, baking soda, onions and tomatoes. That's when Flash Sentry, about to finally ask for help, realized that the chef was gone.
He peeked into the hallway. "Hello? Is anypony there?" He asked, looking through the hallway and seeing the chef heading back to the kitchen. Beside her was a tall white unicorn with blue hair, fully dressed in his Royal Guard armour. Flash Sentry's face became as red as the tomato sauce he just spilled on the kitchen counter as he realized what was about to happen.
The cook and the guard stood in front of Flash Sentry and the kitchen entrance, staring at the monster of a mess inside before giving Flash Sentry a stern look. Flash, still blushing, smiled sheepishly.
"Hello there, Commander/Prince Shining Armour sir," he greeted the guard in front of him.
The guard replied with a stern look.
"You missed the Royal Guard meeting that finished just an hour ago," Shining Armour scolded. "I'm sure we made it clear that it was today at 12:30."
"Sorry, sir." Flash ducked his head slightly in shame. "Really sorry."
Shining Armour went into the room and used his hoof to wipe the flour off of Flash Sentry's armour, which was still on the ground. "Put it back on. We have some important work to do." He waited for Flash Sentry to take off his chef hat and put on his Royal Guard gear before following Shining Armour out of the room. The chef stared at the catastrophic scene she had to clean up alone.
* * *
In a few minutes, Shining Armour and Flash Sentry were standing before a large spaceship. "This is the machine that we were talking about during the meeting," Shining Armour explained, holding his hoof up to the machine, which stood upright as if it were ready to fly out of the castle and into the sky. Of course, considering the size of the spacecraft, it would have already destroyed the ceiling if this room was not taller than the ceiling in most of the other rooms, which was already pretty tall. "With this, ponies will be able to explore the world beyond the clouds, higher that any pegasi could fly. There may be other beings out there, or other forms of magic. But before we can let normal ponies explore, we need to send some ponies from the Royal Guard to make sure it is safe up there."
"What danger could there be?" Flash Sentry retorted. "I don't see what could possibly be that bad out there, especially all Equestria has went though: changeling invasions, extremely chaotic beings, ponies trying to take over and overthrow the Princesses. If Equestria can handle all that, then what is there to worry about in space?"
"That's what scientists are trying to figure out right now," Shining responded, as he and Flash Sentry made their way out of the large room. "So far, some known threats include large rocks the size of large buildings, constellations of powerful monsters that come to life, and dark holes in space."
"That doesn't seem too bad. Just carve houses into the huge rocks and befriend the constellation monsters. And what's so scary about dark holes in space?"
Shining Armour gave Flash Sentry a stern look. "They aren't just any holes in space. They seem to be surrounded by some magical energy that pulls anything that goes too close towards the hole. If anything gets too close, it never escapes, unless if they have a strong enough teleportation spell and use it before they enter the hole or they..." Shining Armour stopped walking, fear filling his eyes. "...they become spaghettified."
"Spaghettified?" Flash Sentry repeated, remembering where he heard that word before. "What do you mean by spaghettified?"
"The victim would be pulled by the black hole to the point that they stretch until they are as thin and long as a hair. Then they disappear, never to be seen again." Shining Armour explained.
Unfortunately, Flash Sentry was too busy daydreaming to listen. Perhaps that black hole could be a useful tool for making spaghetti. All I need to do is get into that spaceship with a bowl of flour dough, and hold the dough near the black hole to turn it into spaghetti, he thought, closing his eyes and imagining the plan. Then, I'll cook the spaghetti and present the dish to Princess Twilight. She'll be so happy...
"Flash?"
Flash turned quickly toward the leader of the Royal Guard and saluted. "Sir, sorry, sir! I was just daydreaming a bit, sir."
Shining Armour sighed before looking outside the window. "Well, you're free to enjoy the rest of the afternoon. It is a wonderful day outside after all," he admitted. "But don't be late for your next guard shift. You've gotten into enough trouble already."
"Yes, sir!" Flash Sentry saluted again, running across the hallway. However, instead of heading outside, he headed straight to the kitchen.
* * *
In a few hours, Flash Sentry had returned to the large room with the spaceship. On his back was a bowl of flour dough, freshly mixed in the royal kitchen. He now climbed into the large rocket ship and took a look around. The spaceship was furnished with a few build-in storage containers at one side. The was also a fridge that sat next to a microwave-like device. Flash Sentry inserted the bowl into the fridge before opening one of the labelled storage containers and pulling out a gold and blue spacesuit. He then picked up an instruction manual from the container and headed to the front of the ship, which had a large window at the front, and a few seats that were within reach of many keyboards, switches, screens and buttons.
Flash Sentry sat in what seemed to be the driver's seat, as in front of the seat was a large steering wheel and a few levers. He checked his manual every so often, trying to figure out how to drive the spaceship. He pressed a few buttons and shifted a few levers. Unfortunately, driving the spaceship was not going to be an easy task.
He left the spaceship twice--once to go fill the spaceship with fuel, and the second time to find a map of the nearest black holes to Equestria--before finally being able to fly the ship out of the castle, accidentally destroying part of the castle as he did so.
Flash Sentry looked down at the angry mob of castle guards and Canterlot citizens, trying to fly as fast as he could into space and a away from them. Once he finally left Equestria's atmosphere, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"There's no way anypony can reach me from here," Flash Sentry smirked, adjusting the ship to go on autopilot and taking off his seatbelt. He walked over to the fridge and puled out the bowl of dough, his eyes staring off into space as he imagined how Twilight Sparkle would react:
"Thank you so much, Flash Sentry, the best guard ever! Nopony has ever went through this much trouble to make such a delightful meal for me!"
"That's partly because it's completely unnecessary to go through all that trouble," a voice replied, making Flash Sentry's eyes widen in surprise as he realized that someone had followed him into the ship and had had heard what he just said. He turned around. Peeking out from behind one of the storage containers was the captain of the Royal Gaurd, Shining Armour, dressed in a spacesuit from head to hoof.
"C-captain, sir! H-how did you get here?" Flash Sentry asked, hoping he didn't say too much out loud.
"You walked into the spaceship while I was on guard duty in that room. It was quite obvious that you were planning something. Now, explain yourself."
"Um, okay. I mean, yes sir," Flash Sentry nodded before walking over to a container beside a large chalkboard. He pulled out a piece of chalk from the container and began scribbling on the chalkboard. He drew a large spiral shape. "That's the black hole," Flash Sentry explained, pointing at the spiral before continuing to draw. "Here's the spaceship, and this is the bowl of spaghetti dough," he said as he drew a spaceship. "If we get close enough to the black hole, we can hold the spaghetti cough close enough to it that it will stretch and spaghettify. And thus, we will have succeeded in making a gourmet dish."
"And what made you think this was the easiest way to make spaghetti?" questioned Shining Armour.
"How else are you supposed to turn the dough into spaghetti?"
"They have machines for that in the Royal Canterlot kitchens. They also got machines for shredding cheese, turning fruit into juice, chopping vegetables, washing dishes, and so on."
"Machines?"
Shining Armour facehoofed. "Yes. Now let's head back to Equestria before the spaceship gets hit by a giant rock." He then went to the driver's seat of the spaceship and was about to sit down when flash Sentry pushed him away.
"But we're already a few minutes away from the nearest black hole!" Flash Sentry argued, steering the spaceship back on course.
Shining Armour pushed Flash Sentry away and grabbed the steering wheel. "First of all, stop treating me with disrespect! I'm your boss, and I'm doing what's best. If we keep heading to the nearest black hole, than this entire spaceship will turn into spaghetti, and if we make it out alive, we're going to look like the Slendermane!"
"That wouldn't be so bad," Flash Sentry thought aloud. "I think I would look quite dashing. And it would make a great Nightmare Night costume!" Flash Sentry glanced out the window. "Hey, look, we're there already! Thanks for getting us there sooner, captain!"
Shining Armour sat in the driver's seat in shock. Outside was a large black circle that seemed to make a hole in space. It was so dark, it made the surrounding dark sky look bright blue and violet in comparison. The sky and stars seemed to warp around the circle like a twisted fabric. Right in front of the spaceship was a black hole.
* * *
Flash Sentry floated outside the spaceship, a long rope keeping him from going too far and getting lost. In his front hooves, he struggled to hold the bowl of dough to keep it from floating away. He flew toward the black hole in the microgravity of space, holding out the bowl of spaghetti in front of him. The darkness that was the black hole grew bigger and bigger as he got closer and closer...
Then he felt a sudden tug on the rope tied around him. He turned to see Shining Armour holding onto the rope, preventing him from going toward the black hole any further. Flash Sentry tried to yell at him, but he didn't know how to activate the speakers in his helmet to allow him to communicate outside the ship. So he just gave him a glare.
Luckily, Flash Sentry was close enough to be able to carry out his plan. He held out the bowl of spaghetti as far into the black hole as he could. He could see the dough stretching out into long strings. Flash Sentry smiled as the dough was becoming spaghettified.
And so was the bowl the dough was in.
As well as his hooves.
Uh-oh.
Flash Sentry's grin morphed into a look of horror as the black hole sucked him in, threatening to spaghettify him to death. Darkness surrounded him from all sides, as his hooves stretched even longer and thinner.
Suddenly, a bright blue flash of light engulfed him. The pulling on his front hooves had stopped. Flash Sentry looked around, seeing a white stallion with a blue mane standing before him. Behind him was a bowl of uncooked spaghetti, sitting peacefully beside the fridge in the spaceship.
"I suggest you have some rest until we return to Equestria," said the stallion.
"Yes, sir," Flash Sentry replied to Shining Armour, saluting. That's when he noticed that his unusually long front hooves were bandaged.
"No worries, you didn't get any serious injuries. All you need is a trip to the doctor, a limb re-sizing spell, and about one or two of rehab before getting all better."
"So no guard duties?" Flash Sentry asked, his face brightening up.
"Exactly."
"So I get paid for doing nothing for two weeks!" Flash Sentry exclaimed.
Shining Armour chuckled a bit, before his face turned serious again. "Actually, you'll only get paid a quarter or your usual weekly paycheck. But at least the health insurance is free."
* * *
An entire night had passed during Flash Sentry's trip, and most of the morning passed as Flash Sentry tried as best as he could to finish making the spaghetti. Despite his front hooves being unusually tall, he managed to get used to using them before they were re-sized at the doctor's office that afternoon. By dinnertime, the spaghetti was all ready. Flash Sentry was now dressed in a formal suit, holding the bowl of spaghetti on his back as he walked to the royal dining table. However, instead of meeting princess Twilight Sparkle, he saw an orange mare with a blonde mane and stetson cap placing a bowl of fruit salad on the table. Another pony, this one a bright pink in colour, was jumping around, placing balloons.
"What's going on?" Flash Sentry asked. The pink pony appeared right beside him, making him jump in surprise and nearly spill the bowl of spaghetti.
"Oh, hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie!" the mare introduced herself. "We're just getting a party ready to celebrate Twilight getting out of the hospital!"
"The hospital?!"
"Yes, sir. Just yesterday, she was going a little overboard researching food. This led to her overeating during lunch and dinner, which led to her getting a stomachache, which led to her going to the hospital this morning, which led to this!" Pinkie stopped to catch her breath, pointing towards the decorated room. "For the next month, she's supposed to go on a diet of strictly fruits and vegetables."
Flash Sentry took a moment to digest all of the information he was just given. Then he realized why he was here.
The only words he could spit out were "Spaghetti, it's part of the grains food group. Grains...not fruit...not vegetables..."
Pinkie Pie looked at Flash Sentry in confusion as he carefully placed the bowl of spaghetti on the table. Then he proceeded to facehoof multiple times while asking "Why?!" under his breath.
