Chapters Twilight knew something was off the minute her vision cleared. She was somewhere impossible.She was in the library.
"This.. This isn't right. I can't be here."
She sat up, discovering she was in her old bed. The sheets felt as soft as she remembered. But these couldn't be the same..could they? Then it clicked. Her bed was in the middle of the library..
"What the hay?"
She jumped down from the bed and circled the room. Every book was in its proper place. Her system was still perfect. No! It couldn't be! Tirek burned the library to a crisp. There shouldn't be anything left! So how could she be standing here?
"Am I...dreaming?
Of course! That was the most obvious explanation. So she had to be asleep. And now she could wake up!
"Okay Twilight. You're dreaming. Wake up."
She closed her eyes, her brow furrowing from the effort. She relaxed and let her eyelids flutter open. Still the library.
"Okay... Let's try something else."
Holding her hoof up, she placed it between her teeth and bit down slightly. The pain shot through her body instantly. No change.
"Seriously?! Wake up!"
Her voice echoed as if she were in a cave.
"Wake up Twilight! WAKE UP!!!"
She slammed her hoof into her forehead. The walls of books contorted and twisted before snapping back to their original shape like pieces of rubber. Twilight began to panic. It seemed the library was becoming more and more like a prison. Or was it.. The front door didn't appear to be locked. It seemed normal enough. She approached and pushed it open.
"SURPRISE!!"
Twilight jumped back. Where had all these ponies come from?
"Happy birthday Twili!"
Shining Armor?
Twilight walked through the door. This wasn't Ponyville though. This was her parent's home. The house where she grew up. She looked behind her to find the library door had turned into the front door of the house, leading out onto a Canterlot street. What was going on?
"Aren't you going to come inside sweetie?"
Twilight turned back to find her mother standing over her.
"Don't you look lovely in your new dress?"
Her mother motioned sideways. Twilight let her gaze move to a mirror. Who was that little..
She was a filly again! And It was her birthday. One of her favorite birthdays. It was the day that-
"Is something wrong Twilight?"
Twilight's attention turned to a young princess standing next to Shining Armor.
"Cadence! You came!"
Twilight galloped over to her foalsitter and tackled her in a hug. Everypony laughed as the two fell to the floor.
"Of course I came. Did you really think I'd miss your big day?"
The two stood up, allowing Twilight to look around at all the ponies that had come for the party. Several family members were present along with some fillyhood friends. But in her memory this birthday had been about one particular guest. As if the very thought was enough to summon her, the white alicorn stepped from the back of the crowd. Twilight's jaw dropped.
"Princess Celestia?! What are you doing here?"
"You're my student. Don't you think I'd wish to help you celebrate?"
Celestia's horn lit up and a book appeared out of thin air.
"I thought this was a fitting present. But keep in mind this is temporary. This is a very old book which I would like back."
Twilight watched as the book lowered to her level. It really was old. And yet it was familiar..
"Starswirl's notebook? But.. You didn't give this to me. Not now. You sent it to me in Ponyville.."
"What was that Twilight?"
Her head snapped back to find Spike behind her.
"Spike?"
"Yeah?"
Twilight turned back to the notebook. Sitting in front of her. On her library desk...
"Umm... Never mind. I'm just going to do some reading."
"Okay... I'll check in later."
Spike disappeared down the stairs.
What was happening? Twilight didn't remember ever having such incoherent dreams in the past. This was different. These weren't even dreams. They were memories, although mixed together in the wrong order. Why was she remembering all these things? This was becoming far more than a dream. Something was wrong. And Twilight was becoming afraid. What was going on? And why couldn't she wake up?
The room was growing darker. And someone was laughing. The laughter grew louder. It filled Twilight's head, causing her to cower. She knew that laugh. As she cowered on the floor, the library crumbled away to the Castle of the Two Sisters. And it was that awful night. The first time she'd set hoof in this dreadful place. Nightmare Moon stood there, her piercing stare burrowing into Twilight's soul.
"What's wrong little princess? Can't you take a little pain? Or are you afraid of what's really happening"
Twilight backed away. This wasn't a memory. This wasn't at all what had happened. And that made her fear grow even more.
"What are you?"
"Don't you recognize me?"
Twilight looked closely. There was something different. Something wrong.
"You're-"
A blinding light burst through her vision, halting the revelation. There was nothing but laughter. That horrible, horrible laughter.
Twilight!
"No!"
TWILIGHT!
"Please no!"
"Twilight!"
Twilight opened her eyes. The light was gone. And so was Nightmare. In her place was the owner of the voice.
"Luna?"
"Yes. It's me."
"How can I be sure of that? I'm dreaming."
"I walk in dreams. You know this. But it's much more difficult than that right now. Where were you before you fell asleep?"
"I... I don't remember. Probably in my study"
"Think about it. Think hard."
Luna stepped closer as Twilight did her best to remember. Surely she fell sleep while studying. No.. That wasn't it. It was the accident! Pain shot up her right side as the memory clicked into place.
The sun was out today.
The book was The Theory of Evil: How Dark Magic Came To Be
Twilight was ready to test out some of her theories. For educational reasons only, of course.
She was trying to conjure a shadow without a source. And it worked.
And that's when she lost control..
It grew too intense. Too large. It lashed out without warning.
Pain. So much pain. She could just make out her friends running towards her as her vision blurred.
Twilight took a deep breath as she jolted back into the now with Luna. Her breathing was heavy as if she'd just been through the ordeal again. In a way she had. Luna put a hoof on her shoulder.
"You remember?"
Twilight nodded, a bead of sweat rolling down her face.
"I shouldn't have tried that magic."
"You were hurt. Your friends saved you. But you have a long road to recovery. The pain is too much for you to handle in the waking world."
"So I'm asleep?"
"A coma. Celestia thought it best. And I'm afraid you'll be under until your body has healed."
"How long have I been out?"
"Only a few minutes."
"What?! That's impossible! It feels like I've been here for days!"
"Time is very different in dreams. You're body was fighting the coma. It took everything my sister and I had to calm you down. And luckily you gave me an entryway into your mind."
"I did?"
"This memory we're in. I presume it's from our first encounter?"
"Yes. When you were Nightmare Moon."
"You were focused on me. Or at least..a version of me. That combined with our efforts allowed me to break through. Comas are extremely different from normal sleep. I've never actually been able to enter the dreams of the comatose. Mostly because they're not dreams."
"What do you mean they're not dreams?"
"Your body may be asleep, but your mind is still very active. It's created this reality for you. Something to keep you from...slipping away. Its a defense mechanism."
"Defense? From what?"
Luna stood silently. That was all Twilight needed. It was either this reality, or nothing at all. She was dying.
"What can I do?"
"You need to keep yourself occupied. Your mind will help with that. There's not just memories in your head. You can create a whole world in here."
"But I don't want a world! I want my friends! I want my family!"
"Then bring them to life here. I know it's not the same, but you shouldn't be alone."
"I refuse to make copies of my loved ones. They're not replaceable!"
"Then what do you plan to do?"
"I... I don't know."
"You can't stop thinking. Whatever you might feel, you can't stop. If your mind stops working, it's over. Although from what I know about you, that shouldn't be a problem."
A small smile formed on Twilight's face. But it disappeared as quickly as it came.
"There is one thing I need to do."
"Oh? And what might that be?"
"There was something here before you came. Something that frightened me very much."
"Nightmare Moon?"
"No. It wasn't Nightmare Moon. At least... Not the Nightmare Moon I remember.."
"What do you mean?"
"She was being controlled by the Nightmare force. But I don't know how that can be. The Nightmare is gone. Isn't it?"
"Who did you see?"
Tears welled up in Twilight's eyes as she locked gazes with Luna.
"Who did you see Twilight?"
The tears began rolling down her cheeks.
"It was me."
Twilight sat still for what felt like days. A combination of fear and concentration had frozen her in place while she reviewed the very item that had started her entire ordeal. She was reading The Theory of Evil again, having conjured it from memory. She had merely been attempting to form a shadow. How could it have gotten out of control so badly?
"Dark magic is not something to be tested. It corrupts even the purest of hearts."
Luna had stood watch next to her the entire time. She had chastised Twilight for meddling in dark magic. After seeing the fear the mare was experiencing though, the princess had put the matter aside. Now the two sat there within an old memory, hoping to find an answer.
"I'm such a fool. I thought perhaps with my alicorn magic I could handle a simple shadow spell."
Luna rested a hoof on Twilight's shoulder.
"Even the simplest spells of darkness can be treacherous."
"I just don't understand how the shadow gained power. Maybe I was putting too much magic into the spell."
"Was it your first attempt?"
"Yes. I was shocked."
"As am I. It's as if dark magic came naturally to you."
Twilight glanced at Luna from the corner of her eye. Was it true? Was she able to use dark magic? The thought made her insides turn. She didn't want that kind of power. It seemed Luna could sense her unease.
"Forgive me. I didn't mean to put it so bluntly. I just wonder if there are other forces at work here."
Twilight nodded her agreement. Surely something else had given life to the shadow. Something else had caused her accident.
Something? Or somepony? You know what you saw.
Twilight winced at the recent memory. The dark alicorn that had stood in front of her. Seeing her own cutie mark on the new Nightmare.
You thought you could wade into the darkness? Ha! Even Celestia knows you can't do that. You're already in over your head. It's only a matter of time until you've become the Nightmare.
"Twilight? Is something wrong?"
Luna stood in front of her. It was only then that Twilight noticed she was crying again. How long had she been crying? She reached up and wiped away the tears. Luna looked around the landscape.
"Are you hearing someone?"
"No! Why would you think that?"
"Because you're crying as if somepony has spoken harshly to you. And one always speaks most harshly to herself."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"You're hearing it aren't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know. And you know that I know firsthoof what you're going through."
"Nothing's happening! Stop presuming you know what's happening to me, because you don't!"
Twilight stood up and walked away from Luna. How could she say those things?! She had basically said that she understood why she was becoming evil! She wasn't evil!
Of course not. You're good. You've always been good. And you were still being good when you summoned that shadow. You were just being a good student, trying to broaden your horizons.
Yes. That was true. And it had broadened her horizons! She now knew how to summon shadows! Wait.. Summon them? Did that mean they came from somewhere to begin with?
All shadows have a beginning. Surely you knew that? And you summoned a shadow that didn't want to be summoned. Do you remember what it looked like?
Yes. Some fierce looking creature. Most likely from the Everfree Forest. A timber wolf perhaps?
Or something hidden away. Did all of the Nightmare forces return to the moon?
Of course. The Elements of Harmony couldn't have missed anything.
Unless it was the strongest Nightmare of all.
Twilight halted. Could it be? Had something escaped that night? She turned to ask Luna her thoughts on the notion.
But Luna was gone.
Twilight began to panic. Where was Luna? Where was the castle? She was nowhere! Nothing but a black landscape. The panic turned to fear. Where was everything? How long would she be stuck here? Twilight felt like she was going to cry, but no tears came. She wished that her friends were here. She wanted them. She wanted Ponyville. She wanted her life back.
"Twilight? Are you okay?"
Twilight looked up to find Spike in front of her.
"Spike. Please take me home."
"We are home."
She looked around. Sure enough they were in their castle. Whether it was real or not no longer mattered to Twilight. She just wanted company. She wanted her friends.
And then the doors opened.
Everypony from Ponyville poured into the room. So many voices went off at once that Twilight couldn't understand a word being said. But it didn't matter! She was home.
"TWILIGHT!!!"
Five familiar ponies appeared at the front of the crowd. Twilight's face lit up.
"You're all here!"
They hugged for what felt like an eternity. Twilight barely noticed the entire crowd fading away as her focus turned to her friends. When they finally broke apart, Twilight looked at each of them. Her smile lessened with each passing second.
"What's wrong dear?"
She turned to Rarity. The alabaster mare was exactly as she remembered her.
"It's just... You're not really here."
Pinkie jumped on her back.
"Of course not silly! We're just in your head. And it's surprisingly echo-y. I thought it would be filled with lots of smarty pants stuff."
"Wait. You know?"
Rainbow Dash touched down on the floor and rolled her eyes.
"Obviously. It's your head. You know, so we know. You know?"
Applejack put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder.
"We know exactly what you expect from us. We're your friends."
Fluttershy nodded.
"And we'll always be here for you, real or not."
Twilight felt a tear roll down her cheek. Even though they were all in her head, they still cared for her like the ponies she knew. Her memories were serving as a near perfect surrogate. And that would have to do for now.
"Do... Do you know everything I know?"
"Are you talking about the scary Twilight that's running around?"
The others glared at Pinkie. She shrugged.
"No use beating around the bush, right?"
Twilight nodded. They knew. But how did they feel about Twilight and the Nightmare?
"We still love you darling. Just because you saw a Nightmare version of yourself, doesn't mean that's you. You're strong. Stronger than me anyways. I succumbed to petty things and let the Nightmare take me. But I had all of you to help bring me back."
Twilight remembered the events well. The Nightmare forces had held onto Rarity as long as they could. But she'd remembered herself in time.
But her friends had actually been there.
"You have to be strong sugarcube. We'll help as much as we can, but it's still your head. If the Nightmare comes, it's you that's gotta beat it."
Yes. She had to.
Why fight what's already been set in motion?
Everypony froze. Twilight looked around the room. Could the others hear it too?
Twilight has shown great initiative in practicing the dark arts. She has potential to master all kinds of magic. It is her talent after all.
That was true..
"Don't listen to her Twilight! She's just messing with you. Why don't you come out and fight, huh?"
But I'm not hiding. I'm Twilight. And she's me.
No. It couldn't be true.
You know it is Twilight. Do you realize what you've accomplished? You can have more power than Celestia! Your magic is far greater than any pony in Equestria. And you can rule over everything."
She couldn't subject the world to another monster!
Monster? Do you not realize that with your knowledge of friendship and the dark power you possess that you can bring eternal peace to the land? You will have rule over both good and evil! Never again will Equestria be threatened!
Could it be true? Could having control over both magics bring peace? Did Celestia know about this?
Of course. And she chose to ignore it. Luna figured it out. And she was banished for her enlightenment!
"Twilight! Don't tell me you believe this evil voice-y thing?"
"Celestia would never lie to you!"
Twilight closed her eyes. She couldn't concentrate. She didn't want to deal with this. Everything just needed to slow down.
The pain hit suddenly. The castle shook violently.
If you try to ignore this reality, you'll only be hurting yourself. Let me help you and you will survive.
Spike ran forward, crashing into Twilight's side.
"Twilight! I don't want you to die! You have to make a choice!!"
Twilight opened one eye, taking in the fear on her assistant's face. He was tearing up.
"Twilight, please."
She opened her other eye and looked at the rest of her friends. They had all lined up in a row. Each of them smiled as Fluttershy stepped forward.
"We'll always love you. No matter what."
That was all she needed to hear. And with that a wave of dark magic overtook her.
Spike jumped back as the magic covered Twilight. He looked at the others, but they were no longer there. Instead, the old Elements of Harmony laid where each pony had been. Spike picked up each piece, cradling them in his arms.
The magic that had enveloped Twilight slowed to a stop, unfolding to reveal a black alicorn. Her dark purple mane sparkled with every constellation in the sky, as did her tail. Her face had grown sharper, yet still held beauty. Her eyes opened to reveal sharper pupils. But Spike recognized those eyes.
"A- Are- Are you the Nightmare?"
The mare turned to look at the baby dragon, her lips curling into a smile.
"It's me Spike. "
Luna ran through the forest. She had been able to break through again after Twilight had shut her out. Hopefully nothing had happened to her. It had taken Luna a few days to find an opening in her mind. And it had been the same place. The old castle. But Twilight was nowhere to be found.
The castle wasn't the only piece of the memory in place. The Everfree Forest was there. And if Luna had to guess, Ponyville would be there too. It seemed Twilight had followed her advice after all. She had recreated Equestria. It looked just like the real thing. Would Twilight still be living in her castle at the edge of town? Did her friends visit her? Was she studying in her library again?
Luna could only hope.
The stars were coming out now. The majority of the constellations were visible. It wasn't accurate, but Twilight found it much more appealing. Besides, it was her mind. She could do what she wanted.
"It looks beautiful."
The alicorn watched from the corner of her eye as Spike came out onto the balcony. He really was growing up. She had always hoped to see that, knowing that it could easily take a hundred years for a dragon to grow fully. But as an alicorn she would definitely live long enough. And in her mind she didn't have to wait! In a fraction of the time she'd made him twice her height when he stood on his hind legs.
"Thank you. I always do my best when it comes to the night sky. You know how I love astronomy."
The two friends sat and looked at the stars for an hour, only occasionally speaking. This was the life that Twilight knew she was meant to have.
And what about Celestia and Luna?
Twilight shook her head. Celestia had been too afraid to accept the truth. And Luna was far weaker. Too weak to object to a change in the regime.
You can never be forgiven for what you did.
It was...unfortunate that she couldn't simply erase Celestia and Luna from rule. But Twilight knew she had to at least try to make them see reason. In the end she did what she had too.
Letting them fade would have at least been merciful. Locking them away though?
Twilight shook her head again. These feelings of guilt were more trouble than anything. Spike smiled, mistaking her inner struggle for nerves.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?"
Twilight smiled, raising her head.
"Of course! It is the anniversary of my rule after all."
"I'm so glad ponies like you. You're so kind to them. And you keep them safe."
He always knew how to make her giddy. Her initial entry into power had been rocky. Ponies were confused as to where the other princesses were. But Twilight had reassured them. In fact, once they knew that she wasn't going to rain chaos and destruction down on them, they had welcomed her with open hooves.
"You're a lot like Cadence was."
Twilight cringed at the remark.
"I told you never to mention her name Spike. You know that."
The dragon slapped his tail across his mouth, eyes lowering in shame.
Cadence... Shining...
No! She would not dwell on such unpleasant memories. Tomorrow was a celebration. And Twilight meant to enjoy herself.
Luna emerged from the trees. There was Ponyville! But... Where was Twilight's castle? Without a second thought she took off into the sky, racing for the town. Perhaps this was Ponyville before Tirek. That had to be it.
Luna landed in the town square. Ponies froze where they were, looking at her in shock. Looking around, Luna realized that something was wrong. The ponies here looked..unhappy. The buildings were in disrepair. And the overall emotion was gloomy. What had happened here? She met the fearful looks with a warm smile, hoping to not-
Ponies panicked. Within a minute the streets were empty. All except for one creature.
"Well, well. Things just got interesting. You're the real Luna, correct?"
Twilight lowered her horn, the sun finally raised. She looked down from the balcony to see preparations underway for the festivities. She could hardly wait!
"Twilight! Have you seen the food yet? It tastes, I mean, looks delicious!"
She pretended not to notice Spike wiping the frosting from his lips. Every year it was the same.
"I feel like stretching my wings before the party. Care to join me?"
That was all the dragon needed to hear. In fact he hadn't even let her finish the sentence before jumping off the balcony. Twilight let herself laugh at the still child-like behemoth. He really loved to fly ever since his wings grew in. She poised herself on the edge of the balcony, her wings spreading. Today was going to be perfect!
Taking off, Twilight caught up to Spike and sailed up into the clouds. Her mane billowed behind her, a patch of stars flowing in the light blue sky. This was freedom. And there was nothing that could take that away from her.
And then it hit her.
Twilight's right side spasmed, causing her wing to fold. Her heart skipped a beat as she plummeted. And then it filled her ears, thumping louder and louder. But another sound slowly overtook it. The sound of beating wings. Dragon wings.
"Hold on!"
Twilight felt a claw wrap around her as Spike halted her fall. He descended quickly, keeping an eye out for any ponies nearby. As he touched down, he released Twilight from his grasp. She laid still for a moment before standing up.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine. Thank you for saving me.. Again."
"That's been happening more frequently. Are you sick?"
"No!"
Spike flinched. Twilight cursed herself for yelling at him.
"No. It's just..an old injury. From Ponyville."
"Oh."
Spike knew better than to pursue the subject any further. Ponyville was another topic that couldn't be mentioned in front of her. Twilight stretched her wing, examining it for damage.
"Everything seems fine. Why don't we go back and start our checklist for the party?"
"You do realize that Queens don't usually handle the checklist, right?"
"That's why I have you little assistant."
"I don't think I could even hold a checklist anymore with these big claws."
Luna flew as fast as she could. Queen Twilight?! Had she really made herself ruler in this Equestria? Surely the idea of power didn't appeal to her. She hated her duties as princess already! But if the Nightmare had taken her... Luna couldn't think about that right now. She had to get to Canterlot. She had to find out what was really going on.
"Atten-tion!!"
The Royal Guard formed an aisle to the stand. Twilight walked between them and up onto the platform, into the view of all the ponies in attendance. Cheers rang out. Trumpets sounded. Twilight beamed at the adoration of her ponies.
"Thank you!" "THANK YOU!"
The cheers died down and Twilight stepped forward.
"My little ponies! I feel privileged to call myself your Queen. I have ruled over Equestria and kept the peace. You have never had any need to fear me. I makes my heart overflow with happiness that we have established this peace and I hope to keep it in the centuries to come!"
The cheering started again.
"Now I know not all of you have always had the kindest words for me. The Fall of the Princesses came very suddenly at the time. It left many confused. But the past is behind us, and we must look forward to our great future!"
She stepped towards the edge of the stage, motioning towards a structure in the city.
"It is my great honor to present to you a piece of that future, the newest addition to the Canterlot Academy of Science; The Rainbow Planetarium! A gift to all of you, and especially to those whose dreams lie with the stars."
At the back of the crowd, Twilight noticed Spike wipe a tear. No doubt appreciation for her having remembered one of their old friends in the naming. She would make sure to erect something with Rarity's name soon enough.
The crowd finished cheering and Twilight smiled.
"Thank you all for coming out to celebrate the anniversary of our peace. I hope to continue providing you with a kingdom as great as the ponies within it."
A final cheer came from the crowd as Twilight left the stage. That had gone perfectly!
"Twilight!"
Spike came bounding over, the ground shaking at his approach.
"Are you going to do it?"
"Do what Heavyfoot?"
He looked taken aback.
"You... You promised we would."
Twilight's calm demeanor cracked slightly, fear and sadness beginning to leak through. She had promised him.
"Okay. But just this once."
They flew off towards the mountains, leaving Canterlot behind them. It didn't take long to reach the summit of Mt. Harmony. It was there that Twilight had hollowed out a cave and built the shrine.
They entered the cave silently, neither one wanting to be the first to speak. There at the far end was the shrine. The five Elements stood on display, shining even in the darkness. Twilight looked at Spike. He was tearing up again, no doubt looking to one particular Element.
"I miss them Twilight. Why... Why did they have to go?"
Twilight had never been sure about that. Spike had told her what happened while she was..incapacitated. It didn't make sense why their friends had turned into the Elements of Harmony. And they really were the Elements. Twilight had flown to the Tree of Harmony to see for herself. The Elements hadn't been there.
But it didn't matter now. It had been far too long to matter. Her friends had been preserved and that's all she cared about. She felt a tear roll down her cheek.
"I miss them too Spike."
Luna landed on the balcony of her room. Nopony had seen her arrive. No need to alert the guards of her presence. After what she had learned that would cause more harm than anything. She just had to find Twilight.
Twilight stood at the summit, allowing the wind to chill her. Spike had asked to be alone. She knew that he liked to talk to Rarity's Element. He came here often. But it was the first time for Twilight. She had done her best to avoid coming here. The memories were too much for her.
They're not really gone. You know that.
Then why did it hurt so much?
Snap out of it! This isn't real! You know that!
So what if it wasn't real? Twilight had built a life for herself. And it was a life she was quite fond of.
What about the others? What about Celestia and Luna?
They were fine.
What about you?
That caused her to flinch. She remembered the spasm she had experienced earlier. Obviously her body still needed time to heal.
And yet you act as though you're never going home. What if the pain is your body telling you to wake up?
That..was a possibility. But it wasn't worth the risk. What if she woke up and the pain killed her?
Isn't it worth the risk to see your friends again?
Perhaps...perhaps.
Spike rumbled out from the cave, wiping his eyes.
"You ready to go?"
"Yes. It's cold up here."
Without another word they took off, gliding down the face of the mountain.
