A Touch of Glass

by BronyDan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Aria Blaze, Adagio Dazzle, Sonata Dusk, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4820

The Dazzlings pretend to be chandelier cleaners in order to get money.

Two years have passed since the Dazzlings failings to take over Canterlot High, so now Adagio, Aria and Sonata are now making ends meet by selling and trading goods in the street.

After an interaction with Fancy Pants, Adagio sees an opportunity to get rich quick and to regain some of their old power of control, by pretending that she and her sisters are actually chandelier cleaners.

This is based on the classic 'Only Fools and Horses' episode, which was based on real life events.

Published 2015-03-28 15:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-28 15:50:02 UTC

A Touch of Glass

When you have gone from a powerful demon from another universe that can feed off of negative energy, to a regular human in two seconds, it does tend to put a damper on things. This was how Adagio Dazzle felt when she and her two sisters, Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk, had lost the Battle of the Bands to the Rainbooms; defeated, lost and helpless. The girls had had to flee Canterlot High and take refuge in the apartment they had rented for while they had been banished to Earth. It was an old fashioned styled place, with wallpaper that looked like it had come out of the 1950s, an armchair that smelt of mothballs, a cramped kitchen and two bedroom accommodations. The Dazzlings had hoped to be shot of the place once their plan had succeeded, but now it looked like they were stuck here for good.

However, when it came to their attention that they needed money in order to keep renting the apartment, they realised what they need now was to get a job. Aria and Sonata had both gone out to do what they can by doing any small jobs around the city of Canterlot they could find, but Adagio just stayed indoors and sulked. It might have stayed that way, had Adagio not noticed a box of old LP records from some previous owner, stuck at the back of the old wardrobe. She took them down to the local market, hoping someone would buy them, but people just seemed to ignore her, until she fell back on what she could do best; seduce. Soon she had managed to sell all the records, pocketed $250 for her troubles and when Aria and Sonata came back from their job of cleaning the plates in The Horse Crown Bar, Adagio declared to them their new business venture.

Nearly two years had passed since that little scene, and ‘Dazzling Trades’ was still in business. Adagio had made herself head of the ‘company’, while Aria was made their financial advisor. Sonata couldn’t be trusted with anything important, so she was given the job of buying them lunch when they were out selling their goods in the market, however most of the time, her and Aria were often made lookouts, because most of their goods were often stolen, poor conditioned, botched up in the factories or illegal, that and Adagio didn’t have a license to trade.

One afternoon, Adagio, Aria and Sonata were leaving an old allotment out in the countryside, several miles outside of Canterlot, carrying a large number of boxes. Adagio was only carrying one, while her sisters carried the rest to an old turquoise van that they had pooled some of their money together to buy when they first started. It had the words ‘Dazzling Trades’ written on either side of it and it was starting to rust in several places. While it wasn’t the fastest vehicle ever, (it could barely touch 60 MPH) it was the best they could get.

Adagio opened the back for Aria and Sonata to put the boxes in. She always liked to look the part of a successful businesswoman whenever they went out and was wearing a rich dark purple overcoat over a light pink shirt and a violet business jacket. She even had a selection of cheap, gold rings on several of her fingers. Aria and Sonata hadn’t bothered to change their image; they still wore the same clothes that they always wore.

“Well, that was a complete waste of money,” grumbled Aria, dropping the boxes onto the ground with a thud, “Coming all this way, just to get some stupid, broken, cheap DVD players.”

“They’re not broken,” said Adagio, “they merely have a few teething troubles.”

“Adagio, the buttons were put in the wrong places!” said Aria, “The ‘Play’ button was used to eject the disc, the ‘On’ switch was the rewind and in that demonstration, I could honestly smell burning plastic.”

“Look, stop picking apart the products and get in.” said Adagio, picking up one of the boxes and putting it in the van.

“Can I have shotgun?” Sonata asked.

“Hhmm, let me think, no!” said Aria, and she grabbed Sonata by the lapel of her jacket and threw her into the back of the van. Sonata groaned as she hit the cold floor of the van, and she could feel a bruise coming on her left elbow where she had landed. She looked up to see Aria push several boxes in front of, nearly squashing her between them and the seats at the front.

Adagio was already sitting in the passenger seat, filing the fingernails with a bored expression on her face. Aria placed the last of the boxes into the back, climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine. The van spluttered and coughed as it tried to start, emitting large quantities of smoke from its exhaust pipe and soon it slowly pulled out onto the country road.

The afternoon sun peeked through the slowly rolling clouds as the Dazzlings drove over the hills and valleys. They were rounding a corner next to a field, when they spotted someone standing next to a rather fancy looking car waving to them. Aria wanted to carry on driving, but Sonata had managed to force her foot in between the seats and pressed down on Aria’s foot on the brake, causing the van to lurch to a halt.

“You idiot.” grumbled Adagio, rubbing the back of her neck, “If we’ve suffered whiplash, I’m taking your taco privileges.” Sonata pouted as Adagio and Aria climbed out of the van.

The woman standing next to the car gave Adagio the feeling that she was clearly a woman of wealth. She had a thin beautiful face, bright purple eyes, a thin neck and flowing pink hair that went down past her shoulders. She was wearing a slim fitting coat over a white turtle neck jumper, with mauve trousers that complimented her figure. If Adagio was to guess, she was most probably a model of sorts.

“Good afternoon madam.” smiled Adagio as she walked towards the woman, “Are you in any need of assistance?”

“Well, yes as a matter of fact.” said the woman; she spoke with an Upper-Canterlot accent, “You see, my car has broken down, and could it be too much trouble for you to assist me back to Fancemere Hall? It’s the big estate just down the road.”

“Isn’t that the big mansion we passed?” came Sonata’s voice from the van, “Do you work there?”

“Certainly not!” said the woman, sounding quite offended, “I happen to live there. I am Fleur De Lee, and I am married to the owner, Fancy Pants.”

Adagio’s eyes widened. Fancy Pants was one of the most successful men in the county, a member of the Canterlot Elite and extremely wealthy. “Aria, get the rope.” she said sharply, snapping her fingers. She then grabbed Fleur’s arm and escorted her to the van. “You may wish to sit in here, your ladyship.” she smiled, giving a slight chuckle as she opened the passenger door.

Fleur seemed uncertain. However she climbed into the van, only to be greeted by a blue skinned girl’s head sticking out in between the seats. “Hi!” she said, waving in a childish manner.

After Aria had tied the rope to the front bumper of Fleur’s car, she noticed Adagio sitting in the driver’s seat, her fingers caressing the steering wheel. “Well somebody has to be in control of this car.” said Adagio. Aria just grumbled as she headed back to the van. Adagio observed the interior, sliding her fingers across the leather seats. She closed her eyes, dreaming of one day owning such a car, having to drive up towards a giant mansion where six other cars were parked in a giant garage.

A sudden jerk drew her out of her imagination; the van had started towing. Adagio turned the wheel carefully as the car was pulled onto the country road and back up the lane towards Fancemere Hall.

Ten minutes had passed until the van took a left turning off the road, and up a gravel drive, through some iron-wrought gates. Adagio looked up and her jaw dropped; the mansion was a sight. It stood at the end of a large circular courtyard, a large fountain stood erect in the middle of it. Adagio looked at the many windows of the three storey building, when she saw one of the large oak doors opening as the van stopped towing and a man walked out.

He was a portly little man, with wispy white hair and a thin greying moustache and the sun shining off the bald top of his head. He wore thick glasses which stood on the end of his beaky nose, and Adagio guessed be the black tail coat and silver grey tie, this must be the butler.
The butler looked confused at the sight of the van, but when he saw Fleur climbing out of the passenger seat, he rushed over to her. “Is everything alright, m’lady?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

“No Hollands, everything is not alright!” said Fleur, “The car has broken down, so I was stranded in the middle of nowhere.”

“How absolutely dreadful.” said Hollands. He looked over at the Dazzlings; Adagio climbing out of Fleur’s car, Aria untying the tow rope and Sonata struggling to climb out the front of the van by trying to climb over the front seats, “And who are these… women?” he asked, with a suspicious tone.

“Oh, they towed me home.” said Fleur, “Now, could you please push the car over to the garage for me, Hollands?”

As Hollands pushed the car over to the garage, which housed two other smart looking cars, Aria started to grumble, “What a ponce.” she muttered, watching Hollands, “Do you hear him? ‘And who are these women?’ Let’s go home.”

As Aria turned towards the van, Adagio stopped her, “Do you really think I’m going to be leaving this place without getting some form of gratitude?” she said, with a smirk.

“Come on, Adagio,” Aria sighed, “these people don’t want to be involved with people like us.”

“Yeah, they think we’re peasants.” added Sonata.

“Peasants?” said Adagio, sounding hurt at these words, “They may think you two are peasants; come to think of it, I think you two are peasants. However, when they see me, they will see a hard working woman that can be accepted into any form of society. Besides, if that Rarity can trick people into thinking she’s of the higher class, then why can’t I?”

Just then, they heard the sound of a latch of a window being removed. They looked up and saw one of the windows on the second floor opening, and a man’s head peeking out. “Smarten yourselves up ladies!” Adagio hissed, straightening her coat and trying to tidy Sonata’s hair. Aria just shifted her belt.

Fancy Pants looked down at the three girls standing outside his door. He had a thin face, blue eyes, with a dark blue mane parted down the middle, with matching moustache. He was wearing a plain white shirt with a purple tie and waistcoat, and a monocle on his left eye, held on by a chain going into the pocket of his waistcoat. “I say,” he called to the Dazzlings, “can we assist you in anyway?”

“Oh no, your lordship,” Adagio replied, “We’re associates of your wife. Her car had broken down and we brought her back home, she’s just making sure it’s safely back in the garage.”

“Oh, I see.” said Fancy Pants, “Well then, you’d better come in.” and he closed the window. Adagio gave a slight giggle as she walked into the manor, Aria and Sonata reluctantly followed.

The atmosphere was tense in the Sitting Room. Aria and Sonata sat rigid on the large white sofa, their eyes darting around the room, from the large landscape portrait hanging over the mantelpiece to the vase on the window sill, looking anywhere but at Fleur, who sat opposite them with a sour expression. Adagio on the other hand, stood by the open window, laughing with Fancy Pants, a glass of brandy in her hand. “You know your lordship,” she said after taking a sip of her drink, “I am quite interested in why you chose to move out here, so far away from Canterlot.”

“Well, we just felt that we needed a change of scenery.” said Fancy Pants, “But regardless, I still hold my position as Chairman of the Canterlot Elite.”

“Oh, really?” said Adagio, raising her eyebrow, “Would you excuse me for a moment, I wish to use the ladies room.” and she placed her drink on top of the cabinet and walked out of the room.

As she was leaving, Hollands the butler walked in and approached Fancy Pants, “Excuse me sir, but you’re wanted on the telephone. It’s the chandelier people.”

“Ah, excellent, and about time too.” said Fancy Pants. He walked past Fleur and whispered, “Why don’t you entertain our guests, dear?” and he followed Hollands out of the room. Fleur tried to call Fancy back, but it was too late. She looked angrily back at Aria and Sonata, the latter was waving to her.

Adagio hadn’t actually gone to the bathroom. She was strolling along the upper floors of the manor, looking through every door, admiring Fleur’s jewellery collection in her and Fancy’s bedroom and browsing through some of the books in the Reading Room. When she had decided she had had enough she began to make her way downstairs, but she came to the top of the marble staircase, she paused as she heard Fancy Pants’ voice.

“$1200?! Are you sure you’re looking at the right paperwork?”

Adagio hid behind the wall, and peaked around the corner, looking over the bannister and making sure not to be seen. Fancy Pants was on the phone and was sounding annoyed, “Yes, it’s two Louis XV chandeliers, but how do you come to the total of $1200? All you’ve got to do is take them down, clean them and do some minor repairs. Yes, I am aware that it is 17th Century French Crystal, I do own them! I don’t care that this is a dying trade; I am willing to look around for others who are willing to do the job for a lower estimate. I shall get back in touch with you when I’ve made my decision.”

He put the receiver down and headed back towards the Sitting Room. Adagio stayed where she was, a wicked grin appearing on her face.

At last, two hours later, Adagio decided it was time for the girls to leave. She thanked Fancy Pants for his hospitality and as she lead Aria and Sonata into the entrance hall, her eyes darted upwards where a large chandelier hung above them, its golden branches curving outwards with a candle in each one, little droplets of crystal glass hanging from the curves.

“Oh, now that is beautiful.” said Adagio loudly as Fancy Pants and Fleur followed them, “Is that French Crystal, your Lordship?”

“Yes it is.” said Fancy Pants.

“I thought it was.” said Adagio, in a business like voice, “You can tell by the shape of the droplets, you know? I assume that that is from the 17th Century, possibly a Louis’. Oh, but the big question now, is whether it’s a Louis XIV or Louis XV. Ah, of course! That is a Louis XV, am I right?”

“Spot on Ms Dazzle.” said Fancy Pants looking quite impressed, “How on earth do you know so much about chandeliers?”

“Oh, didn’t we mention?” said Adagio, draping her arms around Aria and Sonata, “That’s our business. It’s an old family trade, back where we come from. In fact, we’re actually the first women to take over, aren’t we girls?”

Aria and Sonata just looked at each other, confused, before nodding, “Our forefathers used to make them of course,” Adagio continued, “But alas, with the invention of solar power energy, there isn’t much use for them anymore, so we now specialise in renovation work.”

“Do you mean that you could take that down, clean it and make repairs?” asked Fancy Pants, pointing to the chandelier.

“Of course.” said Adagio, “We could do that in our sleep. Well, we shan’t trouble you any further, your Lordship, we’ll see ourselves out.”

“Now, wait a moment my dear,” said Fancy Pants, putting his arm on Adagio’s shoulder, “There’s no immediate rush is there? Why don’t you step into my study, and perhaps we could discuss a little bit of business?” and he lead her towards a small doorway, just off the sitting room. Adagio looked over her shoulder at Aria and Sonata, and winked.

“Look, it’s too late now Aria,” said Adagio that night in the apartment, “I’ve already made the deal!”

The apartment had had some improvements over the two years the Dazzlings had lived there. The old furniture had been replaced with a new three piece suite and the old brown carpet had been taken up and replaced by a rich red colour. The wallpaper was also gone, and it was now painted in a rich cream colour. Sonata was standing over the television set, trying to set up one of the DVD players they had bought earlier today, while Adagio and Aria were sitting at the dinner table in the corner, looking very cross.

“Look, he is giving us $500, just to take down a few chandeliers and to clean them.” Adagio explained, “It’s easy money!”

“Yeah, and do you really believe that he would pay us? Aria asked.

“Sure he will!” chipped in Sonata, “He seemed like a nice enough guy.

“Well ‘nice enough’ just doesn’t cut it for me.” said Aria, “Look Adagio, I may know nothing about chandeliers, but I do know that you need special equipment; refined cleaning brushes and things like that. With you, we’d be working with superglue and window cleaner!”

“I will get the equipment!” said Adagio hotly, “You remember when I sold Big Macintosh that supply of gentleman’s literature?”

“You mean the stack of French porn magazines?” asked Sonata.

“Well, he told me that one of his second-cousins has an assortment of cleaning utensils, which will include ones for chandeliers, so I can ask him about that, and I’ll be able to ask whether we could borrow two of his ladders as well.”

Aria still didn’t look convinced. Adagio got up from the table and walked over to the window, looking the dark street, lit up by the street lamps, “Look Aria,” she said, in a hurt voice, “We have always deserved a good life. We almost had it too, if it weren’t for those Rainbooms, and look what’s happened: stuck in this old apartment for two years, driving an old van that’s failed it’s MOT, all so we could sell useless junk to gullible people who think we’re giving them the contents of Aladdin’s Cave, just so we could afford to get food for ourselves.”

“That’s why I want us to do this job. If we do this properly, Fancy Pants will most likely tell his upper-class friends about us, and then they may want our services. Before you know it, we could be living in a mansion, just like Fancy Pants, one for each of us, the finest food we could ever imagine and then we could be accepted into the Canterlot Elite! Just think about it: all the dregs of society, looking up to us and respecting us. We’ll be back at the top in no time, but only if we all pitch in to do this one time job.”

“Do you really believe that, Adagio?” said Aria, and for the first time, she sounded quite sincere, “Do you really believe that we could make a success of this?”

“Of course we can.” said Adagio, grabbing Aria’s arms, “Please Aria, I know I don’t ask much of you, but please, consider the possibilities.”

Aria looked into her sister’s eyes, and could have sworn she could see tears about to form. She gave a sigh and finally said, “Fine, I’ll help.” Adagio pulled Aria into a hug, but Aria pushed her back, “But if we are going to do this, then we’re doing it properly. No corner cutting!” she said sternly.

“Of course not.” said Adagio, walking over to Sonata and picking up the DVD remote, “Now listen, we’re doing the job in one week, so that will give us enough time to learn as much as we can about chandeliers, and before you know it, our new venture shall start, just like that!”

She pushed down on one the buttons on the remote and almost immediately, the DVD player exploded, clouds of smoke filling the room. Sonata, who had just finished setting it up, had taken the full force of the explosion, her face blackened and her hair singed slightly. She staggered back, coughing and wheezing while Aria ran to window to let some air in.

A week later, Adagio, Aria and Sonata were back at Fancemere Hall, all wearing white overalls. As Aria was setting up one of the ladders underneath the chandelier, Adagio handed Sonata a box of tools, “Now listen Sonata, I want you to go upstairs and start taking up the floorboards. You think you could do that?”

“Leave it to me Dagi!” said Sonata joyfully, and she took the tools out of Adagio’s hands and headed upstairs.

Hollands, who was supervising, watched her climbing the stairs. “Why does she need to remove the floorboards?” he asked Adagio sounding concerned.

Adagio rolled her eyes, as if she heard this question all the time, “Listen Hollands, how do you think that chandelier manages to stay up there? It is not through the ‘Magic of Friendship’ or some rubbish like that. Now, there is a long bolt running through that chandelier, it goes through a wooden joist and is held in position by a locking nut, so in order to undo the locking nut, Sonata must remove the floorboards.”

She patted Hollands on the head, who heaved a sigh and said, “Well, if you need me, I shall be down by the garages.”

Hollands walked out of the front doors, just as Aria was coming through, struggling with the second ladder. Still holding onto it, she shuffled over to Adagio and talked to her through the gap between the steps. “You have us coming to do this job on the one week that rich git isn’t even home!” she grumbled, “How are we supposed to get paid?”

“Look, Fancy Pants and Fleur have gone away on vacation this week, so we could do the job without distractions.” said Adagio, “He’ll pay us when he gets back. Now let’s get that ladder set up.” She helped Aria to extend the ladder opposite the other one, where a large thick blanket lay on the floor in between them. This was what they would use to catch the chandelier when it was unscrewed.

When the ladders were set up, Adagio called out loudly at the ceiling, “Sonata, have you found it yet?”

“Not yet!” Sonata shouted back. She had pulled up a large section of the carpet and was now using a crowbar to pull the floorboards up. As she removed her sixth board, she spotted a small nut sticking out of the floor. “I’ve found it Adagio!” she called out excitedly.

“See? She’s found it.” said Adagio, patting Aria on the shoulder, “I told you if we give her something simple, she’ll do it.”

“I’m undoing it now!” Sonata shouted and she was just about to place her spanner on the nut, when she heard her sisters screaming “NNOOOO!!”

“We’re not even up the ladders yet!” Adagio shouted crossly, clutching the corners of the blanket.

“Sonata, don’t you dare touch anything until we tell you!” shouted Aria. Everything then went silent. Adagio nodded her head silently, and Aria picked up the two corners of the blanket and began to climb her ladder. It started to shake as she climbed each step. “You couldn’t have found a sturdier ladder?” she asked nervously.

“The ladders are fine, stop complaining!” Adagio hissed. At last, they were at the top of the ladders and began to straighten the blanket out under the chandelier. “Alright Sonata,” Adagio called out, her arms out stretched to hold onto the corners, “You can start unscrewing it now!”

Sonata grinned as she put the spanner on the nut and pulled towards her. The nut was tighter than she thought, so she had to place both her hands on the spanner in order for it to turn. Downstairs, Adagio and Aria remained silent, their eyes fixed on the chandelier, as the creaking sound of the nut being loosened could be heard above their heads. Soon, Sonata shouted, “Just… one more turn!”

“Alright.” breathed Adagio, beads of sweat appearing on her brow, “Now get ready Aria, this is going to be heavy.” Aria’s grip on the blanket tighten, her muscles tightened, her eyes shut as the sound of Sonata’s hammer came down with a ‘thud’.

SMASH!!

Adagio and Aria turned their heads slowly. There, on the marble floor, just a few feet away from them, was a broken Louis XV chandelier, its golden branches battered and dented from its impact on the floor. The little droplets of crystal glass lay smashed and shattered into millions of pieces and scattered all round the debris.

“She was undoing the other chandelier.” said Adagio, her voice low and expressionless.

“How can you tell?” said Aria, in the same tone. They slowly lowered their arms as their muscles relaxed and began to slowly climb back down the ladders. When they reached the bottom, they turned and walked slowly towards the chandelier, their faces blank. The crunching of broken glass under their feet echoed throughout the corridor as they walked and stopped in front of it.

Just then, Sonata came down the stairs looking quite pleased with herself. She stopped next to her sisters, not noticing the mess. “Is everything alright, Dagi?” she asked.

“Alright?” said Adagio slowly, raising her head to look at her grinning sister, her eyes full of anger, “What do you mean ‘Alright’?! Look at it!”

Sonata looked down and finally saw the broken chandelier. “Oh. You didn’t drop it, did you?”

“Drop it?” said Aria, her voice shaking and her hands raised, as if she were ready to strangle Sonata, “How could we have dropped when we WERENT EVEN UNDER IT?! We were working on THAT ONE!”

Sonata followed Aria’s arm and saw the ladders, the blanket and the still hanging chandelier, “Well, you could have said something. I was working on this one.” she said, casually.

Adagio couldn’t speak. She leaned up against the wall, her hands over her face. “Is it valuable, Dagi?” Sonata asked.

Adagio lowered her hands, smiled sweetly and walked over to Sonata placing her hands on her shoulders, “Oh no, not really.” Sonata smiled back, but then she noticed that Adagio’s grip on her shoulders was starting to get tighter, “It was PRICELESS WHEN IT WAS HANGING UP THERE THOUGH!” Adagio screamed, looking quite mad now.

“Well, this is just brilliant!” said Aria, folding her arms, “I mean, what’s old Fancy gonna say when he finds out?”

“Well, I think it’s fair to say that my invitation to join the Canterlot Elite may now be lost in the mail!” Adagio said, rounding on Aria now.

While they argued, Hollands came running in. He had heard the commotion and came to investigate. He spotted the chandelier on the floor. “It’s broken!” he spluttered.

“Well, what do YOU know about chandeliers anyway?!” Adagio shrieked, jabbing her finger into his portly chest.

“I shall telephone his Lordship at his cottage, immediately!” said Hollands, crossly.

“Really?” said Adagio, “Well you can tell his Lordship that if he wants to discuss matters with us, he can contact us personally! Speaking of which, has his Lordship got our address and contact details?”

“No.”

“Right!” and with that, Adagio turned and ran for the door, Aria and Sonata close behind. Hollands chased after them, just in time to see the turquoise van racing down the drive, buckets and other tools fell out of the open back door as Sonata tried to pull a scrambling Aria into the back with her. Hollands watched, open mouthed as the van drove through the gates and disappeared down the lane.

Author's Note

Originally, I had written this with Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Pinkie Pie in mind, but I decided the personalities and dynamic between the Dazzlings were better suited to the antics of Del-Boy, Rodney and Grandad.