Cherry pie filling.

by chil304

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Sad, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Tragedy, Adventure
Length: 4277

Pinkie Pie's innocence twists the events of her day, neither for worse or better.

Maybe one day Pinkie will understand why everything around her is how it is, but for now she's as innocent as a young Filly can be. Completely and utterly ignorant of the evils of her world. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it's not. For now, all Pinkie can do is smile and try to laugh in the face of danger and remain oblivious to the harsh cruelty of reality.

Published 2015-04-04 17:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-03 17:53:43 UTC

A forest, a mansion and some cherry pie filling.

Okay, so, I have been staring at this page for AGES now. I could have made, like, a million-billion cupcakes in the time it took me to start writing. I sort of was just thinking ideas and then hoping they would appear on the paper. Then again, if ponies could do that there would be no use for quills and if there were no quills then the super fantastical world of using quills would instead be taken up by ponies using telepathy. Although that would be amazing.

Gummy just told me I should get back to writing about my day, and he is probably right. I should. So I was walking around Ponyville minding my own business when I have an idea: lets go meet Flutter Shy! So then I start bouncing over to her cottage. I mean, I would have walked but walking gets boring after a while and bouncing is so much more fun because my hair jumps up slightly when I bounce. It feels so weird yet so brilliant at the same time. So I was bouncing over and when I eventually got over to the door and knocked but no-one answered. The first thing I thought was that she had moved out of Ponyville because she hates me and wants Equestria to burn but then I remembered what happened during my last birthday when it turned out my friends were just making a surprise party for me. Silly Pinkie Pie, worrying like that. So, I started walking (that's walking, not bouncing!) away when I heard a scream so I was like 'maybe a pony was having fun without me!' so I went to investigate. After all, nopony has fun without Pinkie. Apart from Rainbow Dash but hey, it's her loss, not mine.

So I started to walk over to where the scream came from, and soon I was surrounded by trees. I mean, not that it's a bad thing being surrounded by trees. Trees are awesome! Apart from evil trees. Then it's not so awesome. But these trees weren't evil, they were perfectly-normal-probably-not-evil trees. Which made it really, really, reeeaaaallllyyy surprising when the trees started to make it too dark to see properly. Which is when I realized that it wasn't just some trees it was a forest. A real life forest! can you imagine the fun you can have in a forest? you can play tag with the forest, you can have a picnic with the forest and maybe even exchange secrets with the forest! So I immediately had a mega-fun overload and started prancing around the forest. Which is different from bouncing somehow. Or at least, that's what Twilight has told me. Then I heard the scream again and remembered why I was in the forest again. I was looking to see who was screaming!

Then I met Scootaloo and she was all like oh-my-gosh-I-am-so-startled-right-now and I was like why and she said that she was scared again so I went "yeah, you already said that you silly filly!" and she continued being startled and then I told her she had cherry pie filling all over her coat and she ran of crying. I mean jeez, who wouldn't want to be covered in cherry pie filling? I know I for one would love to be covered in cherry pie filling. It's so sticky and juicy and... cherryish. Is that a word? I sure hope it is. I'll ask Twilight later, she knows everything. I continued deeper into the forest and heard a cracking sound from behind a bush. Then I realized what they were doing! they were playing tag! that's why Scootaloo had ran off! So I jump through the bush and hope there was somepony else on the other side and there was! Apple Bloom! but when she saw me she just stopped exactly where she was standing. "Applebloom, that's not how you play tag silly! your supposed to run around." she continued to stare at me, not moving. "Come on Apple Bloom! your ruining the fun." She still didn't move. "Okie Dokie then, i'll just talk to you later then." and then I bounced off. As I bounced through the bush, I heard a second cracking sound, so went back through the bush again.

Apple bloom was now leaning against the tree, and seemed really scared and tired so, with some stretching, managed to put her in one of my saddlebags. I mean, her head was sticking out but if I was in a saddlebag I would stick my head out too. I would have liked to continue bouncing or prancing through the forest but I now had Apple Bloom in one of my saddle bags and I didn't want her to fall out of it. That would hurt, and hurting isn't fun. At this point, the sun was still high in the sky so I figured I could just walk around the forest for a bit longer: maybe I would find Sweetie Bell?

About three hours passed and I still didn't find Sweetie Bell. THREE HOURS!!! Do you know how many parties you can throw in that time? No? Neither do I, but I bet it's allot! I was about to walk back to Ponyville with Apple Bloom when I heard some rustling in the bushes nearby. Slowly, I peered my head over the bush to see who or what had made the noise and it had turned out to be Flutter Shy and Sweetie Bell of all ponies! So, I walked through the bush and over to them. Some sort of animal spotted me and ran off. Probably to get into a nice suit for a better introduction I mean COME ON it was really messy and if I was really messy i would want to get into a suit too.

Sweetie Bell hid behind Flutter Shy after I wondered over to her. Flutter Shy must have been really startled at some point because she had cherry pie filling all over her and was breathing heavily while on the floor. So I trotted over and tagged them because I think I was it and then Sweetie Bell got angry. Flutter Shy took it surprisingly well though, and just focused on the cherry pie filling on her instead. See what I mean? You cannot have cherry pie filling on yourself and not pay it some sort of attention! So Sweetie Bell started to stand between me and Flutter Shy and then I noticed something completely weird, so I went "Hey, Sweetie Bell, I have heard of three-legged races but this is ridiculous!" and then she scowls at me. I mean what did I do? I swear some ponies just don't appreciate my comedy enough. After her scowling session with me, Sweetie Bell noticed Apple bloom and then there was a stream of words that I refuse to repeat on this page at the current time.

This endless deluge of anger ended quickly though, when Flutter Shy wobbled up and fell back down. I mean somepony obviously had way to much to drink. At that point, Twilight Sparkle's balloon started to fly overhead. Of course I couldn't see it because the forest was blocking my view I mean how rude! I don't block my friends from seeing the sky! No, I knew the balloon was there because I got a fluttery-eye, wobbly-knee, twitchy-tail followed by three seconds of teeth chattering. That means that my close friends are about to land a balloon nearby me.

As I predicted, Twilight landed her balloon about two hundred meters away in a forest clearing and started to run over to me. Which could only mean one thing: we were going to play another game! So I started yelling "Hey! Twilight! Over here!" and so she soon found us. Then she started shouting and calling me irresponsible and that this was a serious situation, which was honestly completely uncalled for. It's not fair to yell at a pony for having fun. Apart from when it's evil fun. Then you grab five of your friends and shoot a rainbow-colored orbital space cannon at them, but that's besides the point.

Twilight stopped shouting at me after about a minute of non-stop yelling and told me to help get Sweetie Bell into her balloon. If it had been any other pony I would have refused because they would have shouted at me but it was my friend Twilight, I went along with it. She was probably just stressed out after a long day's work. The balloon was easy enough to get to and while it might have been easier if Sweetie Bell used all four of her legs, we made it there in good time.

Twilight pushed herself, along with Flutter Shy, through the shrubbery. Which was really rude in all honesty. What if the shrubbery didn't want to be pushed through? But did she ask? no. She did not. When everypony was at the balloon Twilight started to levitate them, one by one, into the basket. Which kind of defeats the point of me carrying Apple Bloom and supporting Sweetie Bell when you think about it. Silly Twilight. Once everyone was in the basket and we were in the air, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. There was cherry pie filling EVERYWHERE and I just love cherry pie filling, so I just did the most logical thing I could do in that situation: I ate some of it. And boy did it taste horrid. No wonder they hadn't eaten it all already! The stuff tasted like metal. Moldy metal. And I know what moldy metal tastes like because of my last batch of cupcakes.

Gummy just told me i'm getting off topic again. So... back to the balloon. Twilight saw I had eaten some of the moldy cherry pie filling and started shouting at me. I'm pretty sure Sweetie Bell was sick as well. See? I wasn't the only pony there who thought the cherry pie filling tasted horrible! Ponyville had started to become visible, and then Rainbow Dash zooms over at like mach 5 or whatever after seeing us in the balloon with all the cherry pie filling dripping out of the bottom of the basket. So, she shouts at Twilight for a bit and then grabs one of the strings attached to the balloon and pulls the balloon as fast as she could. Which looked like fun (finally! some fun!) so I started pulling the same string in the opposite direction. But then Twilight started shouting at me for doing that so I just sat with a frown in the corner. I mean, what a party-pooper!

The balloon eventually lands nearby a big house-type thing. The house itself had a sign outside with the words "Sunny Side Up Hospital ER department" written on the front. Which is when I finally pieced everything together: we were going to a haunted house and Fluttershy, along with the cutie mark crusaders, were getting into their costumes and didn't want it to be ruined by having other ponies see what they were wearing before the night. It was the only logical explanation!

We all went inside the house and it was surprisingly well-decorated. They were clearly going for the abandoned hospital look. All they needed was to clear out most of the actors and spread some of Flutter Shy's cherry pie filling everywhere and it would look super duper wuper creepy.

The pony at the desk saw Flutter Shy and Sweetie Bell and immediately panicked. I mean, I knew they did look kinda scary but it wasn't that scary to be honest. Maybe she was just easy to scare. So she immediately asks what happened, probably so she get more ponies to look scarier, so I tell her everything. I told her about the scream, the forest, Scootaloo, the animal that ran off, Fluttershy and Sweetie Bell, the balloon... Everything! So soon enough some actors in white coats run over, put Flutter Shy and Sweetie Bell on moving beds and ran off. Which looked like extra-amazing fun so I ran off into the house to find another moving bed. The house had loads of rooms, you know. I counted at least five hundred before I gave up. On the bright side, I found a moving bed and had started racing up and down the corridor on it. And guess what! It was extra-amazing fun!

About an hour of racing around on a moving bed passed before I found Flutter Shy and Sweetie Bell. When I found their room, I couldn't help but listen in on what the ponies inside were saying. And by listen in, I mean rush in on a moving bed while yelling "HI FLUTTER SHY! I SWEETIE BELL!" everypony ignored me at first, so i decided to listen to what the actor in the white coat was saying to Flutter Shy.

"A timber wolf you say?"

I pushed myself against the actor in the white coat. "A timber wolf? what's that? Is that some sort of cake? Is it like a tiramisu? Can I have one?"

The doctor continued to talk to Sweetie Bell as if I hadn't spoken at all. "Well, while I don't see why you would go anywhere near a timber wolf, that isn't the priority here, you see timber wolves are venomous creatures, so we need to amputate what remains of your leg within the next hour."

I lay next to Sweetie Bell while waving my hoof in the air. "hear that Sweetie Bell? your getting your leg animated!"

The actor pretending to be a doctor held his clip-board tighter. "Amputated. I said amputated. Not animated." Then he turned to Flutter Shy, who was now covered in cherry pie filling-soaked bandages. "Flutter Shy, you are going to be transferred to the local hospice tomorrow.I'm so sorry."

I pulled the curtains around Sweetie Bell really hard, and then they fell down. The doctor-actor-pony gritted his teeth. "Look, Pinkie Pie, I was trying to be nice because your an element of harmony and have saved all of equestria multiple times but I swear to Celestia... If you don't leave right now, i'm calling security." That sounded kind of mean but I guessed they just needed some time to discuss the haunted house or something.

"Okie dokie lokie!" I chimed and left, hoping to find something interesting outside, and there was something interesting! Twilight Sparkle was talking to Rarity and Apple Jack! Curiosity got the best of me and soon I was jumping (not leaping, bouncing or prancing, which for some reason, are different from just jumping.) over to them. They were talking about Celestia knows what and then I appeared over with them. They acted surprised at the time, as if they didn't expect me to leap three meters into the air and land in between them. I mean, who WOULDN'T be expecting that at all times? I know I do! I hear it happens at least 3 times a day! although it is mainly me doing it. Apart from when it's Rainbow Dash crashing horribly and Gummy just told me that I cannot keep focusing on one thing for more than a minute.

So I bounce in between my friends and they are all startled at first. After about ten seconds, Rarity was still so startled she fell onto her back; Apple jack moved her hat over her eyes and Twilight Sparkle just stared at me in a similar way to how mum stared at me when I found dad's old drum kit at two in the morning. Apple Jack was the first to speak to me, asking if I could throw Flutter Shy one last party before it was too late. Which was really weird now I think about it. I mean, I was planning on throwing millions of parties for Flutter Shy and now I was being told I had to throw her a final party. So I ask "Why is it her last party? Is she leaving Ponyville or something? Can't we follow her to wherever she's going?" then Apple Jack put her hat back over her eyes and walked off, crying. Which was a terrible idea, because she can't see through her hat and walked into a wall. Rarity got up and then ran over to comfort Apple Jack. Twilight just stood there until Rarity and Apple Jack were out of sight before speaking to me. Smiling and not really knowing what was to come, I stood tall. For in that moment, nothing mattered to me. Ok, well parties and what Twilight was about to say mattered to me but soon, for the first time in my life, I would care more about what somepony else was saying than parties...

maybe.

Author's Note

And this is where I end my first chapter, on a devilishly annoying cliff-hanger. I was going to make it a one-chapter story but it started getting kind of long so I will finish writing this story in the next chapter soon.

A church, a box and more cherry pie filling.

So Twilight asks me "Do you honestly know what death is?" and she's tilting her head and looking quizzical and... Did she mean death by chocolate? THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! So I ask about where the cake is and she face-hoofs and explains that wasn't what she was talking about. Which was really confusing. Death by chocolate is the most talk-worthy cake imaginable! so then I ask what she meant. Maybe there were more cakes even more super-awesome-amazing than death by chocolate! and then she explains that death is a bad thing that unfortunately happens to everypony when they go to sleep for a long time and never wake up.

"Do they at least dream while they are asleep?"

"I-I don't know..."

"So what are you saying exactly?"

"W-Well that Flutter Shy might die..."

"Die? that's terrible! I need to get her some caffeine right away!"

"No! Pinkie! That's not what I-"

So I made it my new goal to find a cup of coffee to prevent Flutter Shy from dying. It was my mission. I was like a spy! Wait... What did that make the citizens of Ponyville? anti-spies? I didn't like thinking about that. I mean, what would happen if they caught me? I didn't really have much time to dwell on this issue because I was approaching the nearest coffee shop. Ok, it was a bakery but i'm pretty sure these days they are pretty much the same thing. So I run in and mrs. Cake is sitting at the cash register. Ok, not sitting it's more like standing because mr. cake doesn't trust chairs. Seriously.

"What can I get ya Pinkie?"

"I all the coffee youhaveotherwisefluttershywillfallasleep!"

"Woah, woah, woah, what?"

"Twilight said that Fluttershy might fall asleep for a long time and I don't want that so I am giving her allot of coffee!"

"Oh sweet celestia... Ok, why isn't Flutter Shy allowed to go to sleep?"

"Because she'll never wake up if she does."

"Wait what!? Is she cursed or something!?"

"No but I need all your coffee or she will die."

"... come again?"

"I need all your coffee or she will die."

"Ok, ok, You get this coffee to Flutter Shy... i'll get Zecora to see if she knows what to do about Flutter Shy."

Then she shoved about nine cups of coffee into my hands and practically pushed me out the door. I needed to get to my friend and I needed to do it NOW. So I raced over to the local hospice, as that's where she had been moved according to the actor with the clipboard. My secret spy mission had become twice as important now. I arrived at the hospice and it... looked like a hotel. A hotel full of doctors, nurses and presumably Flutter Shy. At the desk sat a stallion with a brown coat and a black mane. I bounced over to him and asked him where Flutter Shy was and he gave me directions. So then I started leaping over to Flutter Shy's room. Which is kind of hard when your also juggling nine cups of coffee and being a spy.

I carefully knocked on Flutter Shy's door and heard a weak "come in." from the door. Fluttershy was still wrapped in her cherry-pie filling soaked bandages and was lying in her bed while wearing her element of harmony. By her side was Angel, a thank you letter from an animal well-fare center and the last remaining photo of her dead parents. I walked over and passed her one of the cups of coffee.

"Flutter Shy! you need to drink all this coffee or you will die!"

"O... Ok..."

She started to drink the first cup of coffee when Zecora broke in. "can you tell me why i've been called out dear Flutter Shy?"

I grabbed her face as I spoke "She will die if she doesn't drink all the caffeine I have brought her!"

"please tell me oh pony folk, that this all was not a joke."

Flutter Shy then sits up and does her best raspy-dying-voice impression while saying "Z-Zecora... I can explain..."

"you have my attention as you can see but you better not toy with me."

"I... I got attacked by a timber wolf and the doctors are saying behind my back that I might die soon."

I then stepped in between the two and exclaimed "Which is why I need to give her all this coffee, so she doesn't die!" Which made perfect sense really- death is when you go to sleep so if you use coffee, you can avoid death. Then Twilight bursts in panting as if she just ran a marathon while juggling three hippos or something. So then I get really excited- maybe she has more coffee or a cake or-or a kumquat on top of a chimi-cherry changa. But no... she was being a grumpy pants.

Twilight started marching towards me. "PINKIE! WHEN I SAID SHE MIGHT DIE, I DID NOT MEAN FORCE-FEED FLUTTER SHY COFFEE AND MAKE A MOB OF PONIES OUTSIDE ALL WANTING TO HELP HER!"

"There's a mob of ponies outside?"

"YES THERE IS!"

"Awesome! I'll go bake some cupcakes for them!"

"PINKIE GET BACK HERE OR CELESTIA HELP M-"

Then I left because while I love hearing Twilight shout as much as the next pony, I had a new mission now I had saved Flutter Shy: feed the seething, helpful mob so they don't go hungry while bucking up everything. Outside was a bunch of ponies, as Twilight had said, all wanting to help Flutter Shy in any way they could.

I was about to grab a mixing bowl when a large beam of yellow light zoomed out of Flutter Shy's window like a super awesome amaz-

CRACK SPLRCK

Like another bucking beam of light. Something in my saddlebags had smashed- not that I cared. I opened it to see what useless garbage had broke. Balloons, streamers, cupcakes... it was all trash. In the very bottom corner lay a gray pendent, cracked with gold highlights, in the shape of a balloon. I hated balloons. And pendents. And gray. the pendent's cracks glowed a faint yellow ever so slightly and shattered. Brilliant, now I had to clean that up later.

A purple pony, head in shame, plodded out of the front doors of the hospice. Her horn glowed slightly as she levitated a box. On one of her wings sat a bunny. I hated bunnies. And everything cute, honestly. Boxes levitate behind the alicorn. Because that is OBVIOUSLY what we need- boxes of assorted junk. A few animals- probably strays- ran out the doors. I considered calling pest control but nah- Somepony else can deal with them.

The last box to be levitated out wasn't cardboard like the others but wood. The lid lay open and a pony lay inside- which could mean only one thing: The purple pony was a kid-napper. I hated kid-nappers. Maybe I should walk over and... nah... the only thing I hated more than kidnappers was moving. I just wanted to sit down and stay there in a gray puddle and... great... more ponies... an orange, walking country stereotype walked over and... oh celestia dammit she even spoke country! the only thing that could have made her more stereotypical is if she had a lasso- never mind...

A blue Pegasus flew overhead and landed. Swiftly placing herself next to the purple pony.

CRACK SPLRCK

"Oh buck this!" and, as swiftly as she arrived, the pegasus flew off again leaving a few bewildered on lookers.

CRACK SPLRCK

The orange pony stared at the pony in the box "Ah never liked her anyway." she exclaimed and wondered off swiftly.

the purple pony tried to yell to the others but forgot about it soon and resumed kid-napping the pony in the box.

CRACK SPLRCK

The purple pony immediately stopped carrying the box and walked off, head held high.

CRACK SPLRCK

Ok, nothing changed that time... bucking waste of my time if you ask me. I wondered over to the box and peered in to see who was being kid-napped and... a corpse? A BUCKING CORPSE? I WALKED OUT OF MY SPOT FOR A BUCKING COR... huh. That's odd... I could swear I just remember the bucking pegasus and... no... no, I didn't. I couldn't.

I trotted off and didn't give a second thought to it. Then it hit me:

Flutter Shy was dead.