Rainbow's Dream

by Quixotic Mage

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Sad
Length: 4011

When she surpasses the Wonderbolts she dreamed of joining what higher dream will Rainbow pursue?

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on." But when our dreams leave us behind we become lost and must search, within and without, for something new.

Art by AeronJVL from here

Published 2012-05-11 13:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-11 13:04:01 UTC

Rainbow's Dream

Of what does a rainbow dream?

Of colors, vibrant living colors, of love and attention, of life independent of sun and rain, true self-sustaining life, of being the brightest, the most beautiful.

For one particular Rainbow the path to that dream led to the Wonderbolts. Through them she would gain all that she desired and so they became what she desired. There were perhaps, easier ways to be noticed, to let shine the flame that dwelled within, and indeed one might say she had already accomplished her dream by helping to save her homeland, but not her. Above and beyond those not inconsequential achievements there was always that dream, the Wonderbolts.

She worked for her dream, Rainbow did. Always she pushed herself harder, believing that each moment as it came and went should leave her better with its passing. And if she was often found napping or boasting, well, all flames need rekindling when they grow dim through toil or despair. Rainbow’s flame was no exception.

Audition after audition came and went and each time she was rejected she went home and cried, her flame at its nadir. But Rainbow consoled herself for in each audition she flew just a little bit better. The dream was still there. Out of reach, yes, but there, and that was enough to make her rise and dry her tears and try again.

At last a particular audition stood apart from the rest and she dared hope that her success was at hand. Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, pulled her aside and asked to speak with her in private when all was said and done. And so Rainbow found herself standing on the threshold, too afraid to enter, too hopeful to leave.

***

“Rainbow Dash, come in. Sit down.” Spitfire gestured at the chair before her desk. Her office was a subdued affair. The simple desk took up most the room with a chair on either side. The walls were a plain white and the occasional picture or poster served to emphasize the empty space rather than fill it. The office’s only concession to the fame of its occupant was a large bay window looking out over the Wonderbolt’s training fields.

Dash took the seat and a moment of silence followed as Spitfire struggled to find the right words to say what must be said. Finally, and in true Wonderbolt fashion, she gave up on eloquence and put her faith in sheer blunt honesty.

“Rainbow Dash, you will never be a Wonderbolt.”

It would have been preferable, a thousand times preferable, if Spitfire had instead drawn a knife and lunged across the table to sink the cruel blade into Dash’s beating heart. Of course one might say that that’s exactly what she’d done, though not even the keenest eye could make out the cut. In a desperate attempt at first aid words spilled from Dash’s mouth as she pleaded for her dream.

“Why? Please, give me another chance! I’ve been getting better, you’ve seen my auditions. I can even do a sonic rainboom whenever I want now. I’ll train harder; I’ll get faster, anything. Just please don’t...”

Spitfire held up a hoof, halting the verbal waterfall. “You’ve got it backwards kid. I’m the fastest flyer on the team and in all my years of flying I’ve gotten close to the spectrum barrier just the once. You can break it at will. And I could tell that you weren’t even flying your best today when you performed the sonic rainboom.”

Ears drooping, Dash’s magenta eyes watered. Had another pony assaulted her dream she would have grown angry but here, speaking with her idol, sadness was all that she could muster. “I don’t understand,” she said in a pitifully small voice. “Am I not trying hard enough, is that what you’re saying? Not good enough?”

The captain of the Wonderbolts sighed. “No. Listen Rainbow Dash, here is the absolute truth: you’re too good. You’re too good to spend your life performing the same tired routine for earthbound ponies who can’t tell true skill from a cheap trick, too good to be held back by idols you’ve long since surpassed, too good for me to risk letting you coast along in the Wonderbolts when you could do so much more.”

Of all the possibilities that had crossed Dash’s mind that certainly was the last she would ever have considered. It could serve as a bandage to her damaged pride, perhaps, but it didn’t matter compared to the fact that she would never be a Wonderbolt.

Or did it?

Too many emotions were striving for dominance inside Dash for her to process and respond in any kind of coherent manner. Spitfire could see the confusion and hurt in Dash’s eyes and knew that nothing more she said would get through. Time would have to heal the wounds her words could not. She swallowed both consolations and praise, and fell silent. As if the sudden quiet were a signal, the only one she would ever receive from a Wonderbolt, Dash rose to leave. Her slumped shoulders and lowered head conveyed a sense of such pure sadness that Spitfire couldn’t hold back one last word of encouragement as the distraught mare reached the door.

“You might never be a Wonderbolt, Rainbow, but you’ll fly higher than any pegasus ever has, I’ve no doubt about that.”

***

Day turned to evening turned to night and still Rainbow drifted above the now quiescent city. Her grief had faded from the sharp throbbing of a fresh cut to a deeper dull ache, still painful but no longer all-consuming. After all, what place had sadness when her idols had raised her above them?

No, that’s not a fair question: sadness attends all vanished dreams.

Say rather, that the sadness, though fitting, was a passing thing and she knew it as such. That wound would heal. Her time spent cradled in the sky’s womb had reassured her that the heavens were still hers and that she needed no reason, not even the Wonderbolts, to take pleasure in their embrace. No, the wound that mattered now was sourced in her dream itself, or lack thereof.

Adults do not dream. They have goals and plans and agendas which they steadily put forth and pursue, step by step. It is a necessary and valuable part of growing up, but their realism traps and constrains them. Even Rainbow, for all her youthful wildness, understood the limiting factor that reality plays. A foal is different though. Like a kitten, a foal can walk through walls simply because they do not know it is impossible. It takes a foal to dream.

In her foalhood, Rainbow had dreamed of joining the Wonderbolts.

An impossible dream for a street foal from the slums of Cloudsdale, but she could dream it because she did not know it was impossible. Where others would have despaired before the sheer number of obstacles blocking the way Rainbow persevered. Her first loyalty had been to her dream and as all Equestria knew Rainbow was loyal.

But now what was there to be loyal to? If attaining her dream was still a matter of gaining skill she would not have hesitated to work as hard as was required, but she could no more lose her hard won skill than she could fly through the planet and emerge on the other side. So long as her skill remained the path to being a Wonderbolt was closed to her. Her dream could no longer serve as a purpose for her life and now, as an adult, Rainbow had not the strength to dream anew.

The foal was grown, the dream was gone, and Rainbow was lost.

A spark flashed in her mind, a whispered hint, promising nothing, merely suggesting, raising a possibility, as it were. Spitfire’s words, the ones that had lifted her after the others had cut her down, echoed up from the depths of her mind.

You’ll fly higher than any pegasus ever has.

Why not?

Rainbow knew the words were not meant literally, but for a moment that didn’t matter, for a moment the foal inside shone through and told her to laugh in the face of gravity, just because she could. It was no dream, but, hay, it would do for the moment; drifting really wasn’t Rainbow’s speed after all.

She strained her wings and gained speed, shooting up into the darkened sky as her whole being was consumed by a simple foalish desire to see how high she could go.

***

At last the air grew too thin for her wing beats to win the fight against gravity and only her momentum kept her going. Not yet wanting to descend to the Earth that had witnessed her disgrace, Dash cast about for a cloud to land on. Most were cirrus, far too wispy to stand on safely, but she spotted one unusually high cumulus cloud that looked solid enough. Striving furiously she just managed to flap over to the cloud and flop down on to the soft cool cotton of cloud-stuff. Only after landing did she realize that the cloud had another occupant.

“Princess Luna? What are you doing up here?”

Luna’s expression was surprised but not angry as she glanced over at the unexpected interloper. “I often come up here to gaze at the stars. Assured as I am of my solitude and the tranquility it brings because only a pony with both magic and wings could attain such an altitude. Or so I believed. You are to be commended for your exceptional skill in reaching this place.”

Ordinarily Dash would have puffed up at the praise but instead her head hung lower and Luna took notice. “Is something amiss, my little pony?”

“It’s nothing, Princess. I don’t want to ruin your solitude, I’ll be going now.”

“Wait, Rainbow Dash. Clearly something is troubling you, will you not tell your princess about it? Come, sit beside me. I am glad to offer assistance and I hope that you will be the first since my return to accept it.” Luna patted the cloud beside her invitingly almost beseechingly. It was clearly not a royal command and Dash would have left regardless of Luna’s request, were it not for the hint of pain in her voice as she spoke of Dash being the ‘first’ to accept aid from the redeemed Princess of the Night.

In the end that pain, the now familiar pain born by any aimless pony and the chance to alleviate it, won out over Dash’s desire to be alone. Sighing, she trotted across the cloud and settled herself next to the princess. Luna was quiet for she suspected that Dash would prefer to come to the matter on her own terms. Indeed, after a moment the troubled pegasus began to speak.

“What you said, about me being an exceptional flyer, it hurt after what happened today.”

When Dash did not continue Luna prompted her gently. “And what did happen today?”

“I was...I was rejected from the Wonderbolts.” Dash spoke haltingly, the wound still painfully raw. “Spitfire herself said...she said that she would never permit me to join them.”

“I could speak to them if you would like,” Luna offered, voice colored with an almost unseemly eagerness to offer aid. “Request that they allow you to audition once more. It does not seem fair to refuse somepony the opportunity to show that they have improved.”

Dash shook her head. “I wasn’t rejected because of a lack of ability. Spitfire said it was because the Wonderbolts weren’t right for me, that they would hold me back. She told me that I could fly higher than any pegasus has before.”

Luna couldn’t help but give a small chuckle, despite Dash’s glare. “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, no offense was meant. While I admire the skill this ascension took I suspect that she was not speaking literally.”

“I know that!” Dash replied indignantly. “I might not be an egghead but I’m not that dumb. It’s just...I needed to get away for a while and up seemed as good a direction as any.”

“I, of all ponies, can understand the value of isolation, even if I have had more than my fill of it lately.” Luna murmured. “In any case, that is why you sought solitude?”

“Yeah, I needed time to think. I’m not sad anymore, or rather, I am but I know it won’t last. Mostly I just feel confused, like, what happens to my dream now?”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Luna said slowly. “If your idols feel that you have surpassed them surely that counts as a dream fulfilled.”

“Kind of, but it’s not the right way, you know? It’s as if everypony decided Rarity’s dresses were too pretty to wear so they put them in a display case. Sure, she’d be proud, just like I am at how highly Spitfire thinks of me, but she’d also be sad because her dresses are meant to be worn, not just looked at. Besides, even if my dream were fulfilled that still leaves me without anything to shoot for.”

“So you now seek a new and greater dream, one which no pony can prevent you from achieving?”

Rainbow flopped onto her back, resting her head on her forelegs and gazing up at the night sky. “I suppose so, but everypony knows that the Wonderbolts are the best flyers and that joining them is the highest honor any pegasus can achieve. Now that they’ve rejected me what greater dream is there?”

“Maybe it need not be greater. What do you want to achieve Rainbow Dash? What matters to you?”

“I don’t know!” Rainbow shook her head in frustration. “I’m a flyer right down to my bones, the best flyer in Equestria. When I think of what I want flying is all that comes to mind but without the Wonderbolts I’m just not sure how to make a dream out of my love for flight.”

Luna was quiet, allowing Rainbow Dash to ponder on her own. As Rainbow’s eyes scanned the heavens they fell upon the alluring moon, gleaming with a fey and beautiful light. A trite saying, told to encourage foals, flashed through her mind. ‘Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.’ It was a silly saying and yet, lying on a cloud she shouldn’t have been able to reach, gazing up at the moon and stars while lying next to their creator, Dash couldn’t help but feel a sense of wonder.

For brief moment she was a foal again, one who did not know the meaning of the word impossible. An idea mad and daring, as had always been her wont, blazed through her mind.

“Luna, what was the moon like?”

Beside her the alicorn stiffened. Her voice was sharp as she replied. “There are only seven ponies to whom I owe an answer to that question and of those seven only you would be so tactless as to actually ask it.”

Then she sighed and the anger left her voice. “Tactless or not you do have a right to know of my prison. Much of my time on the moon was spent in a kind of stasis or under Nightmare Moon’s influence. Nevertheless, I will answer you as best I can.”

“The moon was smooth once, a perfect orb. In my rage I rent and tore at it, so now it is marred by craters and mountains, the fruit of my fury. It is lonely too, and cold, so far from any other living being.” She paused then shook her head as if to shake off the unpleasant memories. Her voice grew softer as she continued.

“There is a beauty to it though, a hidden dangerous beauty that lurks in the stark grey landscape and utterly black sky. Most beautiful of all, though, is the sight of Earth as a blue, white, and green ball hanging in the darkness. An artist will tell you that blue and green and white are cool colors but I tell you now that that is not so. From space the Earth’s colors burn. The mere fact that they somehow manage to exist, surrounded by so much nothingness inspired me. Whenever I came close to giving in to Nightmare Moon completely I would look at the Earth and the defiance its simple existence represented gave me the strength to live for one more day.

“Beautiful and lonely, that is what the moon is like.”

Dash bowed gratefully, her tone uncharacteristically respectful. “Thank you for answering me, Princess. I have one more question. Has any pony besides you ever been to the moon?”

A trace of sorrow colored Luna’s words as she responded. “No. It takes the full power of a Goddess to reach there and return. I suspect my moon is forever out of reach for mortal ponies.”

Out of reach, eh? The blood pounded in Dash’s veins and her excitement rose. She felt like a foal again, seeing a Wonderbolts poster for the first time. Here was a worthy dream, one that no pony else had ever achieved, could ever have imagined. She forced her voice to stay casual; it would be uncool to seem too excited. “In that case, I think I’ve found my new dream.”

“Oh?”

“I will fly to the moon.”

Luna sat bolt upright and stared at the small, brave, foalish, pegasus sitting beside her. “No pony could fly to the moon. It’s impossible!”

“Good.”

Dash’s lips curled into her trademark cocky grin and it grew wider as she realized how good it felt to have it back. “I wouldn’t bother if it was easy, but if it’s impossible, well, that’s how I know it’s worthwhile. Just you watch I’ll make the impossible possible, no matter how long it takes!”

***

It took ten years.

Ten long years spent in odd places, learning what she needed to learn. Countless hours spent with Twilight pouring over books that claimed to know what was out there, between the moon and Earth. More hours afterward, more books, looking for a way to carry with her the air she’d need on her journey. Then field research, a welcome break from the library, seeking out pegasi with exceptional weather skills and learning their tricks. Finally, long hours of practice piecing together all the innate magics that made up a pegasus’ birthright and gaining a precise conscious control over it that no pegasus had before possessed.

They were happy years, certainly. Rainbow had a dream again and she pursued it with all the fervor of her soul. Even her friends became excited at the thought of her great striving, just as they had in the beginning with her first dream. Her fire spread and, almost as one, the eyes of the Elements of Harmony turned toward the heavens. None of them wished to go themselves, save maybe Twilight, but they all appreciated the true beauty of Rainbow’s fitting new dream.

At last the time had come. Rainbow had the skill to carry the air with her as she flew, to hold tight to its warmth even against the leaching cold of space and Twilight had long since devised a spell that would allow her to carry enough food for a few days. One day Rainbow woke up and knew, she was aging, and with age would come a lessening of her abilities. It was now or never.

It was now.

The six friends gathered at their field, where they came often to watch the meteor showers and wish upon shooting stars. No wishes that day, just an impossible dream and one pony determined to make it real. Rainbow hugged each of her friends goodbye and, with customary brashness, promised to bring back trophies from the moon. She held Twilight the longest and whispered in her ear the flower whose seeds had been planted by the long hours of study, striving together to make Rainbow’s dream a reality. As she took off Twilight sent a desperate plea of naked need echoing after her. “Come back to me!”

And so, trailing a rainbow, the cyan mare set sail for the stars.

She never came back.

***

Years passed, worry turned to grief turned to sadness and the remaining Elements of Harmony acknowledged that one of their number had been lost forever. And yet, that was not the end of Rainbow’s story. Where the legend came from no pony knew. Perhaps from Rarity and her socializing or perhaps from Applejack gossiping over the apple stand or perhaps from one of Pinkie’s parties, but its origin was unimportant. What mattered was that the legend spread, the legend of the rainbow mare who dared seek the sacred moon, that beautiful distant orb which had once been the prison of a goddess. The tale passed by word of mouth spread like Rainbow’s wildfire-filled soul and took Equestria by storm.

Ponies everywhere found themselves looking at up at the night sky with wonder in their hearts and a burning desire in their veins.

Twilight stepped forward to fulfill that need. With the princesses’ blessing she created the Equestrian Aeronautics and Space Agency, recruiting the best ponykind had to offer for her organization. They made great strides but it was still a long time before the first ponies could truly be said to have left the world and longer still before a journey to the moon became feasible.

When the mission to land on the moon was announced Twilight was an old mare, the last surviving member of the Elements of Harmony. Despite her advanced age she would trust no other with this important mission and, in truth, the magical strength and skill she had acquired over the years made her the natural choice. Besides, none dared gainsay her, not in this.

So it was that the rest of Equestria watched in awe as the space shuttle, the pinnacle of magical and technological engineering lifted off. It carried the second mortal mare to attempt to traverse the unimaginably vast distance between Earth and the moon. The journey was impossible, of course. No pony could truly expect to reach the moon. Such excessive hubris attended the endeavor; the hubris of setting oneself on par with the princesses, above even, for Twilight intended to reach and return from a place that had held a goddess captive for one thousand years. One might have thought Equestria watched to see her suffer the proper fate for her arrogance. But no, Equestria watched and hoped because this was the Element of Magic, after all, whose very nature was to do the impossible. Eight days passed as she sailed the void.

And then she made it.

They watched, the unicorns, the earth ponies, the pegasi, and the sun princess as Twilight descended from her craft and took her first lunar step. They listened as she spoke the words that would stand forever as a testament to the indomitable spirit of their race.

“That’s one small step for ponies, one giant leap for ponykind.”

Equestria was still watching as Luna came forward and silently bade Twilight follow. They watched, curious, as Luna led her to a small, abnormally square flat slab of rock embedded in the lunar landscape. It was only right that Twilight, who had sacrificed so much to stand in that place, should be the first to read what was written on that rock. Equestria watched with pain in its heart as she turned away and tears began to fall from her wrinkled ancient eyes. There was fear too, that they would never understand the source of their champion’s pain. But no, it was their legend as well and they also deserved to know.

Slowly, slowly, the letters on the slab became clear and Equestria gave a great sigh of satisfaction and sadness as the ending of a legend begun a lifetime ago was finally revealed.

HERE LIES RAINBOW DASH
WHO SET SAIL FOR THE STARS
AND REACHED THEM