Zap Apples

by SirFluffyPaws

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Romance, Comedy
Length: 1218

It was a normal day in ponyville... until Princess Cadence came

Applejack a normal farm pony who's whole life is devoted to kicking trees and making cider. Rainbow Dash a normal weather pony who's whole life is filled with rainbows, flying and being awesome. These two ponies are close in a compliantly platonic way until one very special hearts and hooves day when Princess Cadence comes to 'share the love'. This leads to some other problems. (Warning) this FIMfiction contains filly foolers and colt cuddlers so if you're against homosexuals don't read it. The shippings included in this are Applejack X Rainbow Dash, Rarity X Twilight, Big Mac X Braeburn, Big Mac X Cheerilee, Big Mac X Cheese Sandwich, Big Mac X Caramel, Apple Bloom X Diamond Tiara, Snips X Snails, Pinkie Pie X Cheese Sandwich, Discord X Celestia, Derpy X Dr. Whooves, Lyra X Bonbon, Scootaloo X Sweetie Belle, Octavia X Vinyl Scratch. (Now for the ones I don't ship) Big Mac X Fluttershy, Big Mac X Silver Spoon and Spike and Rarity.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-02 01:50:01 UTC

A Push In The Wrong Direction

The streets of Ponyville ran red with the blood of all of Ponyville's residents.  The air smelt of death as the pink alicorn trudged through the wreckage of a once beautiful town.  As she turned the corner she saw layers upon layers of corpses, all in a huge pile outside of what used to be the town hall.  Why did she do this?  It wasn't her intention at first,  all she wanted was for everyone to have a happy Hearts and Hooves day but she didn't make anything better, she destroyed the town, she murdered hundreds of innocent ponies and she ruined everything.  Cadence turned another corner only to find the one she cared for most lying on the ground, not moving, covered in blood and with no signs of life...

"Another lousy Hearts and Hooves day" said Rainbow Dash to herself.   "No very special somepony to share it with", she sighed.  "Wait, why am I talking to myself?" asked the blue pegasus whilst shaking her head.  "Maybe Twilight cast a talking to yourself spell on me".

Meanwhile...

The purple alicorn paced around the library.  "I wonder if that Talking To Yourself spell worked on Rainbow Dash?" she wondered to herself, "Hmm?"

Back to Rainbow Dash...

The blue mare flew off into the sky, soaring through the clouds over Sweet Apple Acres.  Looking down she could see her friend, Applejack, bucking the trees of the apple farm.  Rainbow Dash flew down towards the orange earth pony.  "Hey AJ, whatcha doing?" asked the blue mare, to which Applejack responded,

"Ah'm running through a daisy field with Pinkie Pie an' we're eatin' all o' the ice cream in Equestria- what does it look like Ah'm doin'!?  Ah am doin' all of the farm chores because Apple Bloom is too little, Big Mac is on a date with Mrs. Cheerilee and Granny Smith is all the bucking way in Manehattan 'cause she's visitin' Bab Seed an' 'er family!!" screamed the orange mare with smoke coming out of her ears.  "Now if y'all would exuse me, ah have a lot o' work ta do", and with that Applejack walked of towards the barn.

"Whats up with her?" Rainbow Dash asked herself as she flew towards Ponyville. "THERE!  I'm doing it again!  Why am I talking to myself?  Oh what does it matter, Twilight does it all the time!  And if she does it I can do it too".

Rainbow Dash noticed that Ponyville was buzzing with activity,  There were at least 12 couples outside of sugar cube corner having lunch and more than 20 couples riding... a Ferris Wheel?  They have a Ferris Wheel in Ponyville?  Rainbow Dash got so distracted by the suddenly appearing Ferris Wheel that she bumped into Ponyville's very own mail pony.  "Oh sorry Derpy!  Didn't see you there"  said the blue Pegasus to which the muffin obsessed mail pony responds,

" It's okay Rainbow, muffin, I see your distracted by the new Ferris Wheel too"  then the purpley-grey mare flew off and continued on her mail root,

"what a weird pony" said Rainbow Dash "Why talking to myself again!?!" and with that Rainbow Dash continued on her way.

Rainbow Dash landed right outside Rarity's Fashion Boutique and entered through the front door only to find Sweetie Belle scratching her head in confusion,  staring at knocked over dress mannequins and spread out fabric, "Um?  Sweetie Belle?", to this the small white unicorn whipped around and stared into Rainbow Dash's eyes with a blank expression "Um, Sweetie Belle, ah, what happened here?", the little filly shook her head and her face returned to the normal joyful expression she wears almost every day,

"I'm not really sure" she squeaked in her high pitched voice that could easily shatter all the glass in Equestria, "all I know is Rarity came running down the stairs this morning shouting 'today's the day!  Today's the day!'  I have no clue what she meant by it but she seemed to have this blue glow around her kind of similar to when a unicorn uses magic".

Rainbow Dash was extremely confused.  What did Rarity mean by today's the day?  Rainbow decided to search for clues like the ponies from Scootaloo's favorite TV show 'Scooby Doo' or was it SpongeBob.  She didn't care, she was just looking for clues.  After searching through all of the rooms. Rainbow Dash didn't find anything.  "Umph!"  Rainbow Dash tripped over an oddly placed curtain in the middle of the hallway.  "What is this?" she asked herself looking behind the curtain"*Le Gasp*!"  Behind the curtain, Rainbow Dash found a room with no windows or even a light source. "What is this room?", suddenly she heard movement in he far corner of the damp, dark room.  Rainbow Dash continued her search for clues inside the room.

After searching for a while, Rainbow Dash found a bowl labelled 'Sweaty Belle'.  "What the buck?"  Suddenly the door slammed shut, causing Rainbow Dash to turn around but what she saw shocked her.  "What are you doing he-".

At the Library...

Twilight Sparkle trotted in circles around her bed room.  "Cadence was supposed to be here two hours ago, where could she be?" she questioned herself more and more until she heard a bang come from Sugar Cube Corner.  "Huh?  What was that?"  Twilight ran to Sugar Cube Corner only to find Pinkie Pie covered in pots and pans, sprawled out on the floor whilst Rarity stood there staring at her with a crazy sort of glimmer in her eyes.  "Rarity?" asked the purple alicorn in awe to what she had just seen.

"hmm?  Twilight!"  Rarity sprang from her position on to the floor to jump on top of Twilight, "Rarity!?!  What are you doing!?!?"  Suddenly the white unicorn pulled Twilight's head up and kissed her right on the lips!

"Ra-Rarity!?!?"  The white unicorn then leaped off Twilight and for the first time Twilight noticed a sort of glow around her.  "Rarity are you all right?" said the still frazzled alicorn.  The white unicorn shook her head and the glow seemed to disappear.

"TWILIGHT!!!!  Oh my I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry!  I have no idea what just came over me!  The last thing I remember was going to wake up, hearing a strange noise in my room and then I blacked out!"  Rarity then turned around to see her pink friend lying unconscious on the floor.  "Did I do this!?!"  Twilight nodded she was almost certain that 'lovestruck Rarity' would do anything to get to her.

"I say we go talk to Fluttershy about this as she might know what to do".  They took the cooking utensils of Pinkie Pie then turned to leave through the door.

"WAIT!!  I don't think I fed Sweetie Belle!"  Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Rarity, Sweetie Belle can feed herself, she's not a dog."  The white unicorn looked embarrassed when they stepped into the Celestia's sunlight.  The two walked over to Fluttershy's cottage only to find that the doors, windows and any other hole visible have been boarded up and all of the animals were missing.  "What the buck happened here!?!"

"I don't know but maybe Applejack or Rainbow Dash know".

Rarity and Twilight galloped as fast as they could to get to Sweet Apple Acres.  "I think we're here" said the purple alicorn.  "Good, I had already broken a nail and I just had a hooficure!"  Twilight rolled her eyes.  Rarity was back.  The two walked further in to the orchard.  "*GASP*!"  The white unicorn started to wobble as if she felt dizzy and when she fainted Twilight knew why.   What Rarity saw was Applejack and Rainbow Dash... kissing.