purple is such a wonderful color

by thatguy45

Rating: mature
Tags:
Length: 753

purple guy in equestria.

purple guy goes to equestria.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-29 18:22:25 UTC

blorp...

how long has it been? a thousand years? two thousand? who knows? maybe it's been a month. all i know, is that being a statue is boring as fuck. i sighed internally.

fucking christ, why can't something happen? WHY?!

"because you're a bastard." a weird sound, and discord, the ever-loving freak, appeared in front of me, a deathly serious look on his face.

ah, discord, my old friend!

he looked like he was actually physically pained by that word. "i am not your friend, murderer."

aw, does the big bad god of chaos think i'm despicable? look in the mirror, pal.

"buck you! at least i didn't kill foals!" he pointed a sharp finger at me.

oh, yeah, it's not like giving their house legs and making it run away is any better. and correct me if i'm wrong, but you were the one who brought me here?

he grimaced. "admittedly, i should have done more research."

well, you didn't. so lets change the subject. how'd you get out?

he grinned. "some dumb kids came chaotic near me in the garden. after that it was child's play."

wunderbar. now what? are you going to go up against the princesses and get your yuppie ass whooped again?

"no, because the elements of harmony have passed on. and before you say anything, i have a fool proof plan to keep them useless."

and what if it doesn't work? what if you underestimate their bonds, hm? what then?

"ha! i'm so confident that i'll beat them, that if it i get trapped again, i'll let you go."

really!? okay, its a deal!

he put on a deadpan look. "you seem very sure that you'll win."

yes, yes i am. now are you going to leave? i have stuff to prepare.

"hmff. you might as well postpone that, because you will never get out." he turned around to leave.

we'll just see about that discord. but just in case, don't have anymore kids!

he stopped. he was shaking, presumably with rage. but i did see a tear fall on the ground. i think. i might've been seeing things. "never... EVER speak of that again, or so help me god, i will come back here with a sledgehammer!!" yep, those'er tears. he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

i frowned inwardly. i really, really, hoped that this would go the way it was supposed to.

==========

it didn't even last a day. i smirked and stretched my newly un-stoned limbs. "ah, it's good to be back!" i flexed my magic, and a large hook with a red handle appeared in my hand. "foxy! it's so nice to see you!" i hugged the hook like you would an old friend. after three minutes of hugging, i strapped the hook to my belt, and teleported outside.

interesting fact. teleporting outside of a castle surrounded by deep crevices is a bad idea. also, when you teleport whilst falling to your death, you don't lose your momentum.

so while laying face down on the courtyard waiting for my bones to knit back together, i let my mind wander.

==========

1075 years ago

"weeeeee~!" i swirled around in my chair. it was such a good day! i mean, every day is a good day at freddy fazbears pizzeria, but today was even better! it was even better then when foxy bit that kid! the new guy was coming in! i got to creep him out by alluding towards his death! of course, i had scared away so many before, that i had to leave this messages. i kept telling them that they weren't leaving in the middle of the night, they were being eaten, but every time i got punished. eh, the truth hurts.

after i finished the last message i yawned. the clock read 10:30. odd... i usually only get sleepy after 11. ah well, change is a good thing. as my eyes started to droop, i thought i heard a sinister laugh.

==========

well, all my bones are re-knit, so that's enough reminiscing. at least for this chapter. i got up and thought of another way to get out of the castle. black smoke enveloped my legs, and i crouched down. after a second i jumped. the air whipped by me as i flew through the sky. as soon as i felt gravity start to pull at me, i dispelled the magic around my legs and formed wings out of it. i don't really know if you know this, but