The Coming of the Ponosaji...

by Mister E

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Crossover, Zecora, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Comedy, Other
Length: 5936

Rainbow finally goes to far with her pranks on Twilight. And it doesn't take too long to realize that pranking the element of magic, may not of been her smartest move. But then again, Twilight had no idea just what she had unleashed upon Equestria.

After being pranked one too many times by Rainbow Dash, Twilight has finally had enough. She devises what she thinks will be the perfect revenge. Unfortunately, once unleashed, Twilight quickly finds out that she has no idea how to stop the terror she has set loose upon her friend.

This story was inspired by / is a tribute to, Richard Gale and his morbidly hilarious film series. The character of the Genosaji/Ponosaji, is entirely his. And my use herein is strictly for the purpose of parody and entertainment.

Published 2015-04-26 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-26 17:40:01 UTC

Revenge is a dish best served... with a spoooon!

         “I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” Twilight yells as she stomps inside her castle slamming the massive door behind her which causes a booming echo throughout the corridor.

Spike, who had been slouched sideways in Twilight’s throne reading his latest edition of Power Ponies, leaps four hooves in the air as the resounding boom reaches the map room. As his racing heart begins to calm he sees his friend and surrogate mother stomp into the throne room, turn around and buck Rainbow Dash’s chair to the floor. She then flounces down in her now vacant throne and begins to rub her temples with her hooves.

“Twilight! What’s wrong? Why are you so upset, and why are you soaking wet?” He asks, earning a glare from his mentor.

“Two words... Rainbow Dash.” She replies in anger.

(Earlier that day)

“Alright Spike, I’m going out to do some shopping, behave yourself.” Twilight says as she opens the front door. Immediately she is soaked from mane to tail. Up above, Rainbow Dash is rolling with laughter on a small storm cloud.

“Classic!” she says between laughs.

“Grrrr! Very funny Rainbow Dash.” Twilight says as she shakes water from her mane.

(Slightly less earlier that day)

“Thank you Mrs. Cake, I’m sure Spike will love your cupcakes with sapphire sprinkles!” She says as she trots out the door of Sugarcube Corner. Once again she is completely drenched.

“{Bwahahaa!} Rainbow says from on high, “Oh jeez, it just never gets old!”

“Raiiiinboooow Daaaaaash!” Twilight yells, as Rainbow quickly flies off.

(Not all that long ago today)

“Oh Rarity, this hat will look perfect for when I attend the princess summit. I can’t thank you enough for finishing it so quickly.” Twilight says as she turns this way and that before a full length mirror.

“Think nothing of it my dear. But I should warn you, try not to let it get wet. That material shrinks terribly if it gets to damp.” Rarity cautions.

With a sense of foreboding, Twilight looks out the front window. Sure enough Rainbow Dash is out front on her cloud, talking to Pinkie Pie.

“I’ll just go out the back way,” Twilight says, waving goodbye as she quietly opens the back door and steps outside. And then is promptly soaked to the bone from her own personal downpour. Immediately her new hat shrinks so small it barely fits on the tip of her horn.

“Oh sweet Celestia! You look... you look... {bwahahahaaaa}” Rainbow says, laughing so hard she nearly falls off her cloud.

Suddenly a second Rainbow floats on a different cloud from around the front of the building. This one has a bubbly cutie mark, and her eyes don’t quite look in the same directions.

“Can I go back to delivering my mail now Rainbow Dash?” She asks the other.

“Sure Derpy,” the first Rainbow replies. “The color will wash right out. Thanks for the help!” She says as Rainbow Derpy flies off.

“RAINBOW DASH!!!” Twilight yells, as Rainbow quickly flies off again.

(Just moments ago)

“Oh by Celestia, I’ve had just about enough of Rainbow and her pranks,” Twilight mutters to herself as she approaches the main door to her castle. “Tomorrow I am going to have a long talk with her about taking things too far!” She says as she opens the front door. Suddenly a large bucket filled with ice water tips over spilling it’s contents on Twilight’s head, the bucket itself missing her by inches. Outside, the air once again rings with laughter.

“Oh my goddess Twilight! I never thought a bookworm like YOU would take the ice bucket challenge! {BWAAHAHAAAA!!!}” She says before flying off once more.

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” Twilight yells as she stomps inside her castle slamming the massive door behind her which causes a booming echo throughout the corridor.

(Which brings us back to the present)

“Alright Rainbow Dash, you want a prank?!? I’ll SHOW you a prank...” Twilight says, as one of her eyes develops a twitch. She goes over to one of her bookcases and starts tossing books over her shoulder as she mutters to herself. “One hundred and One pranks to amuse your friends... No, I am not amused. Cheese Sandwich’s guide to practical jokes... No, too cheesy. Starswirl’s Big Book of Petty Revenge... Hmm,” Twilight says, as she reads the preface.

‘Has somepony finally gone too far? Have you been pushed to the brink? Does thinking about the pony in question cause you to breathe heavily, raise your blood pressure, and cause one of your eyes to twitch uncontrollably? Then look no further, because THIS is the book you’ve been looking for!’

“Wake the colts and call the neighbors! We have a winner!” Twilight says, as she frantically begins to scan the pages. Oh, that one is good. Oh wait even better! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! This is it! Oh yes, this one is perfect!”

“What did you find Twilight?” Spike asks, trying to peer over the edge of the table.

“Listen to this Spike.” She replies excitedly. “The Curse of the Ponosaji.”

“C-curse? Um, Twilight, don’t you think that is going a little too far?” Spike asks, his eyes going wide.

“Nonsense Spike.” Twilight replies, her own eyes wide and frantic. “I’m the element of magic, if anypony knows how far to take a spell, it’s me. Don’t you trust me?” She asks, with her drying mane frazzled out, and her eyes wide and twitching.

“Um, o-of course I do,” Spike says loyally. “W-why don’t you tell me about it though. Um, so I’ll know how awesome your prank is.” he finishes.

“Certainly Spike,” Twilight says with a manic grin. “Just listen.”

“The curse of the Ponosaji. Once cursed, the victim will be pursued by a tall thin pony. His body will be white of hue, his hooded clothing all in black. The Ponosaji, cannot be stopped. The Ponosaji cannot be harmed. The Ponosaji will pursue his victim no matter where they go, no matter where they hide. And when the Ponosaji finally corners his prey, he will begin to pummel them mercilessly...”

“Oh no!” Spike interrupts in horror.

“With a spoon!” Twilight finishes, cackling to herself.

“W-with a spoon?” Spike asks, not sure he heard his mentor properly.

“{Mwahahaa!} That’s right Spike. The Ponosaji will hunt Rainbow down, and then repeatedly hit her... WITH A SPOOOOOON!”

Spike’s eyes go wide, then he falls to the floor in a fit of laughter. “O-oh Twilight! He gasps. “T-That’s like, the best prank ever!”

“Why thank you Spike.” Twilight says, as she smooths out her mane. “When Rainbow wakes up tomorrow, I think she’ll be in for quite a surprise.”

Rainbow discovers that she doesn't like spooning...

Chapter 2

Rainbow discovers that she doesn’t like spooning...

Rainbow Dash opens her eyes and looks out her window. It’s another bright and sunny day. She pauses a moment and thinks about all the fun she intends to have pranking her favorite pony of choice Twilight Sparkle.

“Heh, the look on her face yesterday. That was epic.” She says to herself. “I suppose I should really get up and get started... Then again, five more minutes in bed never hurt anypony.” And with that she rolls over... and finds herself muzzle to muzzle with a white faced unicorn, all in black, who is lying next to her in her bed.

“AHHH!” she yells, but before she can do anything else, the strange pony reaches out a hoof and taps her hard on the forehead, right between the eyes... with a spoon.

{Tap!} “OWW! What the what?” she asks, rubbing her head. “Dude, did you just hit me with a spoon?”

The figure before her doesn’t reply, instead in a slow and methodical manner, he once again raises his spoon, and taps Rainbow on the head again.

{Tap!} “Ow! Hey, knock it off, that hurts,” She says raising her hoof and pushing the figure before her.

In response he merely raises his arm again, and begins to slowly and repeatedly tap Rainbow over and over with his spoon.

{Tap!}“Ow, {tap!}, I said quit-{tap!}, would you knock i-{tap!}, stop it! {tap!}. “Aragh!” Rainbow yells, leaping out of bed and flying to the other side of the room. “You’re not even a Pegasus, how are you even in a cloud home?!?” She asks, rubbing her head once more.

In response the figure rises slowly from her bed. He puts his hooves down on the cloud beneath them and begins to slowly trot toward Rainbow Dash with a staggering gait. Rainbow begins backing away, as the gaunt figure before her, once again raises his spoon.

“Who are you?” She asks, as she backs through the living room and into the kitchen. “What is this about?” She says, as he slowly lurches toward her.

Rainbow looks around frantically, her eyes alighting on a seldom used frying pan. She picks it up and holds it in a batting stance.

“Look buddy, I don’t want to hurt you, but if you don’t leave now, I’m going to let you have it!” She says brandishing her cast iron weapon.

In response, the mystery pony raises his spoon and begins to advance.

“All right. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” And with that Rainbow gives a mighty swing, impacting on the side of the other pony’s head.

The mystery pony pauses for a moment. His head is to the side, titled at an odd angle. Suddenly it rights itself, and he taps Rainbow right on the center of her head with his spoon once more.

{Tap!} “Ow! Jeez, that really smarts!” She says, as he taps her once more.{Tap!} “Ow, dang it!” She says, raring back and hitting him once more {wannggg!} on the side of his head. This time he doesn’t even stop, {tap!}, “Ow!” {wanngg!}, {tap!}, {wanngg!}, {tap!}, {wanngg!}, {tap!}. “Ow darn it! Why won’t you fall?!?” She says, as he rares back once more.

Rainbow drops the frying pan and flies out of the window. She pauses and looks back only to see the strange unicorn effortlessly walking on the cloud behind her, slowly lurching in her direction.

“Oh sweet Celestia. What IS that thing? I’m gonna need help with this one. Gahh, but the best one to deal with this kind of thing is Twilight, and I can’t go to her after yesterday... Applejack! She can help get rid of this guy. She’s the toughest pony I know... well, other than myself that is.” And with that, Rainbow flies off toward Sweet Apple Acres, as the Ponosaji, slowly lurches his way after her.

There is no spoon...

Chapter 3

There is no spoon...

Rainbow Dash streaked through the sky as quickly as she could. Her forehead ached dully for the repeated spooning it had received. Finally the trees of Sweet Apple Acres came into view. As luck would have it she spied Applejack in the fields, hard at work bucking apples. She quickly flew down to her.

“Applejack!” she yelled as she zoomed in for a landing, braking hard at the last second and causing Applejack to nearly knock over the barrel of apples she had almost filled.

“Tarnation Rainbow! You nearly ruined an entire barrel of apples. What in the name of Celestia has got ya’ll so excited? Are the Wonderbolts performing today?”

“Applejack! Quick you gotta help me!” Rainbow says breathlessly. “There’s been a strange pony following me around and assaulting me. Please, I need your help!”

“WHAT!” Applejack says, her temper quickly rising. “Why that low down lily liver’d varmint! Ain’t no pony going to be allowed to hurt one of MY friends! Now you just take a breath and tell me what happened and what he looks like. I’ll sort him out right fast.”

Rainbow breathes a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. He was really starting to get to me. I feel much better now that you are with me.” She says, giving AJ a wide smile.

“Okay so it was like this. I was just lying in bed sleeping. I yawn and roll over, and there he was! Right beside me in my own bed!”

“No!” AJ says in shock. “Right in bed with you? So it’s a Pegasus we’re after eh?”

“Well... no, it was a unicorn... I think. But let me tell you the rest of it.” Rainbow continues hastily.

“So there he was, right next to me. His face and body were all white, with black eyes and lips. And he wore a black hooded outfit. Before I could do anything, he raises a hoof, quick as a flash and then hits me right between the eyes! With a spoon!”

“Great Celestia! He hit you... wait, did you say spoon?” AJ says cocking her head to the side.

“Yeah, that’s right! Right between the eyes at the base of my forehead. It really stung too!” Rainbow says, rubbing the aforementioned spot.

“Hold on now,” AJ says raising a hoof. “Ya’ll mean to tell me that there was some white unicorn in your bed when you woke up, and that he hit you in the head with a spoon? Is that what your sayin?”

“Yeah, but it gets worse! So I jump out of the bed right, and this unicorn gets up and starts trotting toward me, with this weird lurching shuffle. Well he backs me into the kitchen, and I snatch up a large iron skillet. I tell him to back off or I’ll use it. Well, he just comes at me, so I rare back and clock him upside the head. But he doesn’t even budge! He just raises his spoon and hits me again. And it really stings! So I clock him again, and he hits me again, and I clock him again, and he hits me again. He just won’t go down! So I toss the pan at him and fly out of the house, and when I look back he’s following after me. Just lurching along. So I flew here as quick as I could, and... Um, Applejack... why are you still bucking apples? We need to do something, there’s no telling  when he will catch up to me!”

Applejack pauses for a moment. “Rainbow, ya’ll do remember I am the element of honesty right? Now I don’t know what kind of prank you’re trying to set up, but I just ain’t got the time for it. And tellin me a story like that right to my face is borderline insulting. Now I got chores to do here, if you want to prank some pony that badly try Pinkie Pie, she’s much more amiable to a good joke than I am.”

“But AJ! I’m NOT joking! He’s real, and he’s after me.” Rainbow says, her voice tinged with desperation.

“Right, some white unicorn chased you around a pegasus cloud house, and you hit him a bunch of times with a frying pan, but it didn’t do any good, and he kept hitting you with a spoon? Girl, that’s isn’t even a GOOD story. Either you are lying to me, or you dreamed up the whole thing. My advice is go talk to Luna. Maybe she can make the scary spoon pony go away.” And with that Applejack goes back to bucking apples.

“Fine!” Rainbow says, as she turns away and begins to trot up the dirt road. She barely goes two steps when from behind a nearby tree the Ponosaji emerges. Rainbow stops in her tracks, and before she can call for help the Ponosaji rears back his hoof and strikes Rainbow in the head with his spoon.

{Tap!}“Ow!” she cries, as she quickly turns around. “Applejack quick, he’s here! Hit him! Buck him! Stop him!” she cries.

Applejack stops bucking and looks past Rainbow Dash. “And WHERE exactly is this mystery unicorn? ‘Cause I don’t see anypony except for you.”

“What are you talking about? He’s right...” Rainbow starts to say as she turns around. But there is no pony in sight. Cautiously she trots forward, and looks behind all of the nearest trees, only to find nothing. “Honest AJ, he was right here! And he hit me with that darn spoon of his again. Really!”

“Of course he did,” AJ replies, and then he just jumped up on a cloud and flew off... cause unicorns are famous for doing that.”

“AJ I’m telling you th-{tap!} OW!” Rainbow says as a white hoof comes out from behind the tree she just checked and strikes her once again. {Tap!}, darn it! {tap!} AJ quick, he’s behind this tree! He’s just hit me twice more.”

Apple jack stops once again, and trots over to Rainbow Dash. She glares at the pegasus for a moment before trotting around the tree in question in a complete circle.

“There. Now you’ve had your fun. You got me to play along. Now if’n ya’ll don’t mind, I need to get back to my chores. Feel free to stop back by, once ya’ll get this spoon thing out of your system.” AppleJack says, turning her back and trotting back to her unfinished tree.

Quick as a flash, a white hoof reaches out from behind Rainbow’s tree, and one more strikes the pony with it’s spoon.

{Tap!}. “Ap-” Rainbow begins, and then stops. “What’s the use?{tap!}. She’s not going to believe me. {tap!}. I need to find some other pony {tap!}. Somepony more open minded {tap!}. Someone who is used to the strange and the weird{tap!}. Would you knock it off for five blessed minutes!” Rainbow yells {tap!}.

“I done told ya, I need to finish my chores!” Applejack yells back.

“I wasn’t talking to you! Rainbow replies. I was talking to... never mind! Just forget it!” She says as she flaps her wings and rises in the air.

As she rises above the orchard, she hovers for a moment. “Who can I talk to about this besides Twilight?” She muses, as she watches small thunderheads pass by on the breeze. “Who else would know abou-{tap!}. OW! What the what?” she says, as she notices a familiar hooded figure riding a passing cloud. She watches horrified, as the cloud stops in mid flight, and begins to fly back toward her against the wind. The figure riding the cloud slowly raises his hoof, and spoon held high, advances toward her.

“No! No way! Clouds only behave that oddly in the Everfree. Wait a second! That’s it! Zecora! She’ll know what to do. She knows about all kinds of stuff like this.” And with that Rainbow Dash is off like a shot, heading for the Everfree Forest.

A Dash, A Drop, A Boom, A Bop...

Chapter Four

A Dash, A Drop, A Boom, A Bop...

“So close, so close, carefully now, this brew is extremely volatile.” Zecora says to Spike as he carefully adds a beaker of liquid, drop by drop into her bubbling cauldron. “Take it slowly, one drop at a time, to balance this potion takes a hoof sublime.” She says as she watches him carefully add-

{CRASH!}, the sound of shattering glass startles the young dragon, causing him to accidentally release the beaker he is holding, dropping it into the pot.

“Rainbow Dash! My potion you’ve wrecked! I’ll yell at you shortly, but for now, hit the deck!” Zecora says as she pulls Spike to the floor and drags him with her under a nearby table.

“Wah? Sorry about crashing through your window Zecora,” Rainbow Dash says in a daze as she rises to her hooves. “But I really need your help right now. There’s this strange unicor-, um, why are you two underneath the table?” she has time to ask before a loud explosion erupts from the cauldron coating the entire room, including Rainbow Dash in hot smelly liquid. “ARGGGHHH! It burns!” Rainbow says as she quickly runs to the sink and begins splashing water on her coat. “Hot, hot, hot! Why is pain my friend today?!?”

Zecora and Spike rise from the floor and assess the damages.

“Um, I’m guessing it will be a few more days before Twilight’s potion is ready.” Spike says as he tries to find a clean place to stand.

“Your comment is no exaggeration, but I’m about to have a new assistant for the duration.” Zecora says trotting up behind Rainbow Dash and cuffing her on the back of her head. “Crazy mare, you’d best explain, why you busted through my window pane. When civilized ponies choose to knock, they won’t end up with explosive shocks. Now before your cleaning chores begin, tell me why you raised this din!”

“Ow, Zecora, I really didn’t need to be hit anymore today. I need your help, it’s an emergency! I’ve been chased and assaulted ever since I woke up this morning by this crazy unicorn. Please you have to help me!” Rainbow begs.

Unseen by Rainbow, Spike is covering a grin.

“Assaulted you say? Since the break of dawn? Well, this changes all, please do go on.” Zecora says as she pulls out a reasonably clean chair and sits down.

“Yeah,” Spike says, “tell us about this ‘crazy unicorn’.”

“Okay so it started when I woke up this morning. I yawn and roll over, and there he was! Right beside me in my bed!”

“Really?” Spike says, acting surprised. “A unicorn was in a cloud home, in bed with you?”

“I know how it sounds, But let me finish.” Rainbow says in frustration.

“So there he was, right next to me. His face and body were all white, he had black eyes and lips. And he wore a black hooded outfit. So without saying a word, he raises a hoof, and then hits me right between the eyes! With a spoon!”

“{Bwaahahaaaa!}” Spike laughs, unable to contain himself.

“It isn’t funny Spike. He chased me all the way to Ponyville, and every time I stop for like two minutes, he shows up and hits me with a spoon.” Rainbow says rubbing her temples. It was then that she has noticed Zecora is standing stiff, he muzzle open in shock, her eyes wide.

“Ponosaji,” she finally utters in a near whisper. “Oh Rainbow Dash what have you done? For from this curse you cannot run.”

“What do you mean? Wait, did you say curse?” Rainbow says in alarm.

“An ancient curse from times long past. Now leave my home, and make it fast!” Zecora says, pushing Rainbow towards the front door.

“Wait, please wait. At least tell me what I’m dealing with.” Rainbow says in desperation.

“The Ponosaji cannot be stopped, he cannot be harmed or slain, once raised he will forever track his prey, his interest will not wane. Some pony cursed you Rainbow Dash, and now it’s time you fled, for the Ponosaji will not rest, until he’s struck you dead!” Zecora says as she pushes Rainbow out of her hut.

“Dead!” Both Rainbow and Spike say in unison.

“Y-you mean it won’t stop until it kills Rainbow Dash? With a spoon?” Spike says in dawning horror.

“But all he does is taps me with it. For him to kill me like that... would... take... decades...” Rainbow’s voice trails off as she begins to realize the full horror of her situation. Then, as if compelled by some strange instinct, she turns her head and looks down the narrow dirt track that leads to Zecora’s home.

Both Zecora and Spike follow her gaze, and all three can clearly see a figure, hooded and dressed in black. His coat is the color of bleached bone, and his eyes and lips are night black. Slowly the figure lurches up the trail toward them, and all can see in his upraised hoof, the silvery gleam of a large shiny spoon.

“Quickly Spike, get inside, from it’s attention, we’d best hide.” Zecora says as she quickly pulls the young dragon inside and begins to close the door. “Rainbow there’s naught I can do, but perhaps there is one, that I can send you to.”

“Quick Zecora, anything, any pony!” Rainbow says in growing terror.

“I can’t say for sure he’ll break your curse, but at this point for you, things could not get worse. Fly to Fluttershy’s, no delay you can afford, and seek out the draconniques, known as Discord!” Zecora says, before slamming the door and bolting it from the inside.

Rainbow Dash turns back to see how far the Ponosaji is from the hut, desperate to learn more about it, only to find it is now somehow right before her muzzle.

{Tap!} “Oww! That was way harder than last time!” {Tap!} “Blast it! Leave me alone!” Rainbow says flapping her wings and streaking through the sky.  “Oh sweet Celestia,” Rainbow mutters, “I can’t believe I’m going to ask Discord for help.”

Meanwhile back inside Zecora’s Spike has just finished writing a message for Twilight, and has sent it off via his dragonfire. “Oh Twilight, I hope you can fix this...” he says quietly.

Ponosaji vs Discord

Chapter Five

Ponosaji vs Discord

It didn’t take Rainbow long to reach Fluttershy’s cabin, nestled as it was at the edge of the Everfree. Given her recent experience she did not however simply crash through the window as she did at Zecora’s but instead landed at her front door and began to furiously pound on it.

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy!!! Open the door! Hurry, I need you find Discord, it’s an emergency!”

Movement could be heard inside the cottage and what sounded like stifled giggling, and she could have sworn that she heard a voice say “she needs to find you dear”, and then a different one “but probably not like this, thank Celestia she didn’t just crash trough the window”. Moments later Fluttershy answered the door, her mane uncharacteristically askew.

“Rainbow Dash, what an unexpected surprise. I heard you shouting through the door. You need Discord? And you said it was an emergency? Is everything all right?” Fluttershy asks, as she tucks a stray lock of her mane from in front of her eyes.

“No it’s not all right! I’ve been cursed! Somepony cursed me, and Zecora said that only Discord may be able to help me.” Rainbow says frantically.  “Please, if you have any way to reach him I need you to do so as fast as you can!”

“Well, ask and you shall receive.” The chaos lord says walking up behind Fluttershy and absentmindedly resting a claw on her shoulder.

“Discord! Thank Celestia you’re here! Wait... it isn’t even ten in the morning yet. Isn’t it awfully early for you to just pop over for a visit?”

“Brunch” Fluttershy says, at the same time Discord says “Drapes”.

“Huh,” Rainbow says in confusion.

“Well you see Fluttershy has offered to make me brunch in return for me helping her hang some new drapes.” Discord says giving Fluttershy a sidelong wink.

“Oh yes,” Fluttershy adds quickly, “We’ve been hanging drapes in nearly every room of the house.” she says blushing slightly.

“And we really should get back to it.” Discord remarks. “We still have a couple rooms to go.”

“Oh, Discord,” Fluttershy says in mock exasperation, “those drapes will still be there to hang later, Rainbow Dash needs your help.”

“Yeah Discord,” Rainbow interjects, “Decorate Fluttershy’s interior later, this is an emergency.”

For some reason this causes Fluttershy to giggle uncontrollably and dash back inside the house, as Discord steps outside and firmly shuts the door.

“Alright Rainbow, let’s get this over with, just what IS your problem.” he asks.

“Somepony put a curse on me! It’s-” but then Rainbow stops as she sees an all too familiar figure lurching up the dirt road. “Oh Goddess! It’s him! He’s here already.”

Discord turns and stares at the gaunt figure. “Hmm, what is it? Some type of undead?”

“I don’t know. I woke up and it was in bed with me. It’s been chasing me around all morning, where ever I go. And when it gets within striking distance it hits me... with a spoon.” Rainbow finishes in a near whisper.

“I’m sorry, what was that last part? I couldn’t quite make it out.” Discord says raising a claw to his ear.

{Sigh}, “I said he hits me with... a... spoon!!!” Rainbow shouts in exasperation.

“He hits... he h- {Bwaahahahaa}, Oh Goddess, really? T-that’s brilliant! That’s awesome! Oh by Celestia why didn’t I come up with that?” {Bwahahahaaa}. Discord rolls on the ground laughing uncontrollably.

“It’s not funny.” Rainbow says in a hurt voice. “Zecora says he won’t stop until I’m dead.”

Discord rises up. “Oh well now, we can’t be having that.” He says snapping his claw and causing a silver cage to appear around the approaching figure. Now let’s have a look at that cur-” Discord suddenly breaks off his speech as he sees the Ponosaji effortlessly pass through the bars of the cage.

“Well that’s not fair at all.” Discord says as he floats toward the black clad being.

“Hmm. Very single minded.” He snaps his claw again and a pit of bubbling tar appears in front of the Ponosaji. Without hesitation it begins to lurch through it, never slowing a step. Discord conjures a portal to another world in front of it, which shatters upon contact. In desperation Discord conjures a treadmill beneath the hooves of the Ponosaji. He issues a sigh of relief as he watches it lurch in place.

“Whew. That should keep him busy for a bit. That is one powerful curse. Let me have a look at it Rainbow Dash.” he says as he waves his claw before the cyan mare.

Slowly a lattice of reds and blacks oozes out of every pore from Rainbow Dash to hang suspended in mid air before Discord. A thin cord of red and black still attaches it to Rainbow Dash, and along the edges both can make out a slight purplish glow.

“Well, if nothing else, at least we know who cast the curse on you.” Discord says with a wide grin. “See that purple there?”

“Twilight Sparkle?” Rainbow says in disbelief. “TWILIGHT cursed me?!?!”

“Oh yes,” Discord says with a chuckle. “You must have done something pretty bad, to make her hit you with something THIS complex.” He says, gesturing at the intricate spell matrix.

“Um, well... I kinda sorta HAVE been pranking her a bit lately.” Rainbow says, rubbing the back of her head.

“A bit?” Discord asks cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, more like nonstop... for the past few days... and I might’ve ruined her new princess hat.” Rainbow admits.

“And Twilight it seems, has taken exception to that. My, my, I never knew she had it in her.” Discord says in amusement.

Suddenly the sounds of crashing gears pull him from his musings as he turns to see the Ponosaji step from the wreckage of the burned out treadmill and continue lurching forward.

“Oh for the love of Leeroy,” Discord says in irritation as he snaps his claw once more causing a chasm to appear in front of it stretching as far as the eye can see in either direction, and deeper than light can reach.

Without missing a step the Ponosaji steps forward, and falls into the dark abyss.

“That should give us a bit more time.” Discord says, turning back to the spell, as he begins to study it intently.

“Well,” Rainbow says impatiently, “can you destroy it?”

“Oh easily,” Discord says offhoofedly, “of course if I do, it will kill you instantly.”

“Uh noooo, let’s not go with that option.” Rainbow says her eyes going wide.

“I need to find just the right link, the right thread to unravel it.” Discord moves a claw a mere hairs width from the spell. “I think right here. If I carefully pull this strand it sh-”

But just then both are startled as an implosion of air and a flash of light occur as Twilight Sparkle teleports to the ground before them.

“I got here as quickly as I could.” She says, out of breath. “I got all the research I could find on the Ponosaji from the library and... um, Rainbow? What’s going on with Discord?”

Discord for his part, startled by Twilight’s arrival had accidentally thrust his claw into the spell matrix.

The three watched in horror as the reds and blacks of the spell crept up Discord’s arm, clinging like tar. With a final pop the last strand left Rainbow Dash, and they watched as the spell slowly sank into Discord’s flesh.

“Ponyfeathers!” He says. Then turning to Twilight, “words cannot express the unbridled joy I feel toward you at this moment Twilight Sparkle!” Discord says in tones of pure anger.

“Um, Discord...” Rainbow says as she points a hoof back toward the chasm.

There, all can plainly see the figure of the Ponosaji emerge. Wordlessly it lurches it’s way to the group. Facing Rainbow it raises it spoon high to strike, and then quickly turns and hits Discord squarely between his horn and antler.

{Tap!} “OW! Blast it, that DOES hurt!” Discord exclaims.

“I know, right?” Rainbow replies.

“Give me that!” Discord says, snatching the spoon out of the Ponosaji’s hoof, and disintegrating it.

“I should have done that in the first place!” Rainbow remarks.

Wordlessly the Ponosaji unzips its black hoody to reveal rows upon rows of spoons in every shape and size. Twisted wooden spoons filled with dark magic, ethereal spoons to strike the intangible, diamond spiked spoons to crack through rock, adamantium spoons to wear down the toughest armor. The Ponosaji selects a bright and shiny silvery spoon. Twilight’s eyes widen in surprise as she realizes what it is.

“That spoon is infused with pure order!” She says in wonder. “Discord don’t let him hit-”

{Tap!} “OWW! By Celestia that REALLY stings!” he says before quickly teleporting away.

The Ponosaji turns, and gazes off into the distance before quietly fading away on his own.

“Whew! Well I’m glad THAT’S over.” Rainbow says, turning to face Twilight. “I gotta admit Twi, that was a pretty good prank.”

“Well, just remember, I still have that spell book.” Twilight replies.

“Oh I’ve learned my lesson Twi.” Rainbow says, raising her hooves in mock surrender. “No more pranking the aspect of magic. No way, no how.”

They both turn as Fluttershy emerges from the cottage.

“Oh, hello Twilight. Um, where did Discord go? We still have a lot of... um, redecorating to do.” Fluttershy says, blushing slightly.

“Yeah, we should probably go help him.” Rainbow says. “Any ideas Twilight?”

“Well when in doubt, let’s do what we always do. Gather the girls, and hit it with the Magic of Friendship.” Twilight replies confidently.

Two weeks later...

Spike hurries through the halls of the Castle of Friendship, carrying an overloaded tray in his claws.

He makes his way into the map room, and without comment, begins to pass out the trays contents to those gathered around the table. After the last warm towel and bottle of aspirin has been distributed, he pauses at the door to gaze at the assembled. Five ponies, four alicorns, the lord of chaos, Queen Chrysalis, Angel Bunny, Anon, and King Sombra (the latest addition), all sit with their heads propped up by a hoof, hand, or paw, staring dejectedly at the map before them as each of their individual Ponosaji’s repeatedly hit them on their heads with their spoons.

Spike quickly exits the room with a shudder, as a chorus of endless tapping follows him down the hall.