Daring Do and the Ends of Infinity

by Masterweaver

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Daring Do, Ahuizotl, Adventure, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1123

Professor Derring Do knows Daring Do is only a book series... well, at least she thought she knew that.

Professor Derring Do is not an adventurer. She is an archaeologist, and quite frankly she has no patience for the book series using her image and name for such frivolous purposes! The number of ponies she's had to turn away, the number of potential professionals that leave because she's 'not what they expected' is something that aggravates her to no end. Everything in those novels is fiction, fiction, fiction, complete and utter fiction!

Or.... so she thought...

A fandmade sequel to Biased and Incomplete by DuncanR.

Published 2015-03-30 05:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-30 05:00:02 UTC

Prologue: In Which Our Hero Encounters An Old Foe She Has Never Met

It wasn’t always this quiet in the university, Derring mused. On occasion there was a party pony, or some overeager researcher thinking they’d stumbled on something new. There were the accidents, things falling down, but that was rare. Sometimes there was sound.

She didn’t like the sounds. That’s why she’d become an archaeologist.

The quiet of dead civilizations...

Well, that’s what she told herself anyway, wandering these halls this late at night, trying to keep her fear in check. Truth be told, she studied the past out of curiosity. Genuine curiosity, the kind that didn’t need any damned adventure with monsters or rivals or any of those horseapples in that damned series. Genuine curiosity, the quiet joy of Why. Maybe she should just change her name.

She glanced up, thinking she’d heard something. Nope, nothing. Besides, the magical artifacts were always examined by teams of trained unicorns; probably just a rat.

And last week had been the worst. That cyan pegasus, Splash or whatever, had practically shoved the books in her face. That was the worst. Losing recruits, actual potential professors, to the adventures of fiction. They wanted to fight monsters, go save the world? The pegasus lived next to Everfree! Why did she even need the books... Ah, here it was, Lionbirds: The Relationship between Sphinxes and Griffons, by Page Turner of all ponies. Page Turner was more Dar--more like the books than she ever was. Good for her.

There was a creak somewhere behind her. The professor turned, pearing into the lantern-lit bookshelves. “Anypony there? You’d better have a proper university pass...”

Silence.

Derring snorted. And now the books were affecting her judgment. Perfect. Juuuuust... no, it would be better to think of something else. Opening the book, she began to wander back to her office. Introductions, dedication, title page... ah. It is interesting to note that the Sphinxes and the Griffons once shared a region of territory before the pre-Equestrian Featherwar forced the Griffons from their homeland. This is partially the reason behind the similarities the cultures share; both wish to hold themselves as incredible and superior to all other races.

She glanced up to open her door... and found it had already been opened. Which was troublesome, given that she locked it. Probably another fan. Or worse, one of those stalkers...

Oh yes, the books were on the desk. And hey, a faintly glowing sapphire statue! Oh she was definitely going in, now that there was bait. Haha, no.

“Right, whoever’s in there, I’m going to go get the guards.” Professor Derring turned away. “Try not to damage too much, there are some valuable documents in there--”

Something grabbed her hind leg.

Something whipped her into the room and shut the door.

Something looked at the pegasus with cold, hard eyes and a jagged, cruel smile.

“Ah, professor... Derring. A pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

Without any warning, the pegasus was flung into her chair by the creature. It was familiar, in a way, but her rational brain refused to acknowledge the entity standing in front of her as real. “Okay, fine! You got me, great cosplay, seriously get out. If you’re going to give me death threats, get in line.”

The entity chuckled. “My oh my, you are as firey as your counterpart! If, perhaps, elder and a bit less spry. Oh, your wing is damaged, isn’t it.” He grinned, stepping forward. “How did that happen? Death trap, ninja griffon, enraged goddess?”

“Two tonne block. These books are fictional, and YOU are obsessed. Get out, get therapy, and stop stalking me.” Derring sighed. “I really do need to change my name.”

The creature looked at the professor. “...You really don’t get it do you.”

“Oh, let me guess, I did something horrible to your favorite character and now you want revenge.” She didn’t even write the damned things, why did everypony insist she did...

“You know, I really would like my revenge to be a bit better taken. But it looks like I’m going to have to explain things...” The creature (who, Derring noted, still hadn’t introduced itself) opened one of the books. Odd, it wasn’t the Sapphire Statue... she’d always thought that was the first one. “What is written here, professor Derring?”

“Words. Now get out of my office or go to Tartarus.”

“Already been there.”

The room seemed to suddenly grow colder.

“...you’re lying.”

The creature grinned. “And you are finally taking this seriously. Now, tell me what is written here. No, don’t read it, just tell me.”

“....you know what, fine, I’ll play your game. It’s a pathetic work of fiction with plotholes, inaccuracies, poorly developed characters, and grammar mistakes galore. What’s your point?”

“My point, dearest professor, is that infinity is a very large place. Discord understood that better than most.” He smiled. “That’s why he brought me here, after all.”

Derring blanched. “Discord?” Discord had been sealed away for months now! If he’d been freed--

“Oh yes. The elements of Harmony cannot destroy, not truly. They can only heal.” The creature closed the book. “So it didn’t matter when he was locked up, I remained here. Me and, well, the little gift your spirit of chaos gave me. Of course, it took me a while to obtain what I needed without any citizenship papers. Your world has quite a bit of paperwork, professor.” It steepled its claws. “...not that I mind, of course. Makes things interesting, playing a new game.”

“Okay, fine, I believe you. Are you going to kill me now or what?” Derring was looking around rapidly for some sort of escape; she kind of wished she’d read the books now, if only to know how to get away from this real and present danger.

“No, no. I’ve decided to do something much, much more satisfying.”

The creature narrowed his eyes, grabbing the statue. It started to shine even brighter.

“I am going to force you to live the life of my archnemisis.”

The last thing the professor saw was a blue jackel’s head coming right at her. The last thing she felt was a strange tingle in every part of her body. The last thing she thought was But I didn’t write the books....

Author's Note

Yeah, this has been bouncing around my head and rough draft section ever since I read DuncanR's story. It's really quite fascinating, if jossed by that season three episode which... confused everyone. Now seemed like the perfect time to start yet another project, though.

In serious news, I'm going to try to get back to a minimum of four updates across all my stories a month.