Chapter 1 - The Eggplant Pony
Chapter 1 - The Eggplant Pony
I pushed open the door to my tiny home. I had just woken up and was still having trouble walking straight as I moved outside to check on the garden. I grow my own vegetables in the small strip of land outside my home. I don't particularly enjoy gardening but I do like to eat. I live in the deepest darkest part of the Everfree woods; you couldn't just trot on down to the corner store and pick up some fresh grown greens.
Now it's a funny thing, the first thoughts in your head when you wake up in the morning. I had just moved past the pumpkins when I stopped at the eggplants. As I squinted in the light I rubbed my aching head trying to make some sense of what I was seeing. My beautiful eggplants were smashed to pieces and scattered around a tiny crater. In their place was the back end of a purple Pegasus with a bright blue tail. Not like a whole pony either, just the back third or so of a pony sticking out of the soil.
Now, my malfunctioning brain didn't think something normal like "Oh no! That poor Pony! I should help them..." or even "Well that is totally weird."
Nope, my first thought was "I grew an eggplant pony!"
I literally thought that for about 3 whole seconds. I was even a little proud of my new pony shaped veggie. Don’t laugh! It was morning! Technically...
After recovering from my sleep induced mental issues I realized that I should probably do something. Racking my brain, I managed to come up with a brilliant solution. I started poking the purple flank as hard as I could... After a couple hard pokes I started to feel discouraged. Nope, pretty sure it’s dead, no living pony would take a poking like that and just sit there all dead like. So I went to get my shovel and dig him out of my garden.
Now it may be a surprise to you, but my extremely scientific method of determining whether this pony was alive or not had failed dramatically. When I returned with the shovel, the pony butt started struggling to escape it's soil prison. He was suffocating!
Frantically I started tearing the dirt and what was left of my beautiful eggplants apart trying to get this pony butt out of my garden. Thrashing and flailing, the butt suddenly rose out of the ground flinging soil all over me and my Daisies. A flailing hoof stuck itself in one of my pumpkins and thrashed as it tried to get it off. I was quickly being covered in soil, pumpkin guts, and smashed eggplant. A dirt covered pegasus head appeared out of the soil and started screaming and flailing, accidentally smashing me in the face with my own shovel.
Things got hazy for a bit and the sky was a such a pretty shade of blue. I guess I figured I would have a bit of a nap. Slowly the world stopped spinning and the sky turned a muddy brown with streaks of purple. I tried not to puke as two white orbs hung in front of me. The sky was saying the weirdest things like "Are you okay?" and "Do you need help?" Then it started poking me.
"Hello down there! Are you alright there? I didn't mean to knock you on the head like that! Sorry!?"
I slowly brought my head up and prepared the most scathing invective to strip the feathers off this raving maniac eggplant pony. I prepared the most horrifying insults and insane ravings to tell him what a complete dolt he was but... Nothing came out! Well except a little wheezy squeak.
"Uhhh, what was that?"
I couldn't speak! Why can't I speak? When was the last time I used this talky thingy on my muzzle anyway? Wait no, I talk to myself all the time! I was definitely able to speak last night. Was it the shovel hitting me in the head? Or maybe one of a hundred poisons and chaotic magics that permeated the woods around my valley. Poison joke was the least of the horrible stuff that could get an unwary pony in those woods. This dumb colt is staring at me, I better do something.
Carefully I pantomimed strangling myself to hopefully indicate my sudden muteness. He looks at me like I'm an idiot… I try putting one hoof to my throat and try to say something, anything.
"Squeek, wheeeze…"
A light goes on in his eggplant head.
"You can't talk? Wow, okay. That's fine, this isn't the first time someone has given me the silent treatment!" he said, grinning at me.
I glared back at him, with my best glower. My Mom taught me a good hard glower to use on colts and sometimes my Dad when he made his famous “Dad Jokes". The eggplant pony burst into laughter. I frowned. I guess the glower doesn't work so well when you are covered in shredded vegetables.
"Well if you can't talk, you can't tell me where I am then, or why the hay a cute little Unicorn is in the middle of the deepest darkest part of the Everfree forest? What's your name anyways? Why were you poking me? Do you have anything to eat I’m starving?"
I silently contemplated beating him with the shovel until he shut up, but decided that it wouldn't be very mare like. My social skills had declined while living in the woods, but not to "Beat pony with stick" level. At least not yet...
I suddenly had the burning need to not be covered in dirty eggplant guts. Growling I stomped toward my small home, thinking of the left over bath water from last night. I didn't exactly have plumbing, I mostly just used magic to handle that kind of stuff. But I hadn't emptied it yet thankfully.
I tried to ignore the constant blathering of the eggplant pony while I checked the water. Cold and slightly dirty, just wonderful! I started to sponge off the dirt and vegetables while trying to get my brain back into some semblance of order.
When I finished, I turned around and saw the eggplant pony looking around my tiny cabin with wide eyes eating some of the eggplant. He had followed me inside without even wiping his feet. I contemplated getting the shovel again.
"You have, quite the err... little cabin here, don't ya?" he said, sounding totally creeped out.
He was staring at the disembodied head of a Timber Wolf. I had found the remains of the old Timber Wolf alpha on one of my "walks". I kept the head of the enchanted creature for research purposes. Plus it's eye's glowed that cool green color! I suppose it might even still be alive, sometime I woke up at night to strange sounds from it's shelf.
I wiped up the remains of the garden from my face and hooves with water from the bath. A quick mirror spell revealed my slowly bruising forehead with a clearly raised lump. I jumped as my dark gray coat and green mane sparked faintly with wild magic. That's definitely not good...
"You live here alone? Why are you out here?"
I vaguely waved at my collection and small laboratory bench. Everything had either been carried here or crafted so it was very basic. A few books, bowls, and ceramics that I used for potions as well as magical materials and the ingredients from around my valley.
I needed to get rid of this wild magical charge or it WOULD cause problems. I grabbed a grounding rod off it's hook and touched it to my mane, a hot green bolt shot from my mane through the clay rod to the ground shaking loose dust from the shelves. Eggplant looked a bit stunned.
"What the hay?"
I looked up and saw a much more noticeable haze of wild magic around him as it interacted with the artifacts and wards in my cabin. That was DEFINITELY not good.
I closed the door and pointed the rod at him. He looked at if it were a dagger and started to back away.
"Hey, wait! I'm sorry about the shovel, really!"
I quickly poked him with the rod as he backed into the closed front door. A huge bolt popped in the air for a very long second making an ominous sizzling noise.
"Gahhh! Jeez that stings, was that really necessary?"
That... was a lot of wild magic. I had poked that! I was lucky he hadn't exploded. The grounding rod felt hot and brittle in my hoof. It had pulled more energy from eggplant pony than I had ever seen before! What was he doing that would attract that much of the stuff? I was starting to suspect where my sudden case of muteness may have come from.
The forest was charged with energy and it tended to rub off on ponies and do VERY weird things. But the magic field in the forest was very slow and uniform, not bound up in pockets that could charge ponies like that. The biggest charge I had ever seen wasn't even a tenth as much.
There were only a few ways I knew of where he could have evolved that much of a charge and I really didn't like any of the options. As he started rubbing a small burnt spot on his mane I glanced over at my lab bench. He couldn't have been bathing in the manna pools, he would have been covered with blisters and we would both have a case of the galloping trots. The only other place with that kind of magic near here was... My eyes widened as a bad feeling started to come over me.
There were parts of the woods that even I didn't dare to go near. If he had been where I suspected, we were in VERY deep trouble. He couldn't be that foolish, if he had made it this far in the woods though… Right? I looked at his permanent goofy grin and felt much less optimistic.
"What? What is it! You look like something bad happened. What's wrong?"
In a panic I scrambled to pull down my sketch book and turned the pages looking for my limited notes on her creatures. Eggplant pony crammed his head over my shoulder making me want to hit him with the shovel again. As I flipped through the pages I came to the drawings of HER minions. I pointed at the drawing, silently praying to Celestia that I was wrong.
"Hey! Those are the guys that knocked me down! Do you know what they are?"
I felt the blood drain out of my face and looked over my shoulder and stared him in the eyes.
"Are they really that dangerous? They can't be that dangerous, right?" he said, sounding not so confident now.
I slowly nodded my head. Yes, She was VERY much that dangerous. Dangerous in ways I couldn't even imagine properly. I had only seen her from miles away in a small blind on the next mountain over too. Other than that, only in my nightmares...
She was constantly clothed in roiling ominous clouds of darkness. All you could ever see of Her were Her eyes that looked into you and stole the strength from your limbs. Then to make it worse her minions were nearly as scary. I didn't really know much about them. I was too afraid to go anywhere near her lands.
I flipped to the map I had made of the area around HER home and gestured at it. He studied it closely, moved around me barely touching my shoulder making me feel a little uncomfortable.
"This is where they chased me to..." He pointed at the edge of my protective barriers.
He had probably smashed right against them as he fell into my garden. He was lucky they had let him through or he would have been an eggplant pancake. The wards were mostly deterrents for wild animals so they didn't get hurt running through my home and the more malicious creatures kept well away from them. I had put a nasty sting in them and most knew to stay back.
"They started chasing me from here…" then he pointed at Her kingdom, “Wait, why does it have a skull next to it, and those creepy eyes?!”
I looked back and opened my eyes wide to emphasize my growing terror. I pointed at the map’s legend, next to the skull was the lettering: Extremely Hostile Area - Do not go near.
"So… uh maybe I should leave? I don't want you to get mixed up in this. It's my job to deal with this, not yours," he sounded completely lost at this point.
I shake my head, there was no way I was staying here after he had led them to my home. It wasn't safe. I gesture at us both and mimed fleeing in terror.
"We should both leave? But what about your house?"
I shook my head, a house wasn't worth my life, or even the eggplant pony's life. It was really just a bunch of stuff. I needed to keep telling myself that, just a bunch of stuff, nothing important. The hard won progress I had made, settling a hostile forest could be salvaged. The knowledge I had accrued in my notes and maps was the important thing. The rest I could re-build.
Eggplant pony looked worried.
"How much time do we have? Should we be leaving now?"
I nodded enthusiastically and threw him a pack as I started grabbing notebooks and supplies. Eggplant held it open as I loaded it carefully.
We needed enough supplies for a journey through a hostile forest and we wouldn't be able to gather food or even water on our way. The rivers and streams in the woods were way too dangerous. If we were lucky we would have a few hours to escape the valley and start out my escape route.
Now that Her minions knew about this place, they would bring everything they had to capture us. My barriers were enough for her smaller minions. They were probably what kept the creatures from catching eggplant pony right away. But when they came back with their big brothers we were toast. Unless we moved fast, really fast.
I grabbed my extra pack and started loading down Eggplant with more supplies. I barely had enough travelling food to tide two ponies over for the time we needed to make our escape. I mostly depended on whatever I could forage from the woods and the veggies in my garden for food so I didn't have much.
Any setbacks and we would have to risk foraging on the run. That could be very bad. I had learned the hard way that you couldn't rush the identification and I had once spent a week as a pony sized squirrel after eating something I was certain was safe. The antidote was NOT pleasant. You don't tangle with wild magic if you have any choice, and it always costs something to reverse its effects. I still sometimes tried to climb trees without thinking.
Trotting out the door, loaded down with my pack I led eggplant to the end of the garden path, I turned around to take a last look at the place I had called home for almost a decade. Suddenly the emotion I was trying to keep down washed over me. I knew there wasn't anything I could do to keep it, but I hated leaving. Almost enough to want to fight for it.
But it was HER. I would be lucky if all she did was just enslaved me in her mines, or sucked my brains out and made me into one of her zombies. Eggplant stared at me as I tried to steel myself for what I had to do.
"It's a cute little house, if a bit creepy… Is it going to be alright with you leaving and all?"
I shook my head. There was no way I could leave the things in that house for Her to find. Even a piece of my hair would lead her to us. Wild magic was especially good at tracking things that didn't want to be found. Personal possessions just made it way too easy.
"Hey, don't cry. It'll be all right."
I hadn't quite realized it but my eyes were blurry. He draped his hoof over my shoulder and hugged me. Touching some strange pony was a weird feeling. It felt oddly good but terrifying. I had spent so much time alone that I forgot what it was like to have other ponies around. For a second I thought of my family and suddenly the good feeling disappeared. I shook my head, gathered my resolve, and pulled out of the hug. I didn't need comfort for this, I needed anger. Burning anger.
I thought of the beauty around us being destroyed by creatures like Her. The forest was something unique and wonderful but Her evil had taken a place here, corrupting it. The magic gathered on the tip of my horn as it turned red hot. I remembered the hurt of seeing all the beautiful things she had destroyed with her minons.
My mane turned that bright red color it always did when my magic lost control. Suddenly, the living room of the cabin burst into towering flames which quickly spread to the kitchen. As they burned down my house they should cut the tiny magical connection between the home and myself, even if they didn't destroy everything that could be used to follow us.
When I looked over I felt my stomach turn. Eggplant looked like I was murdering a puppy.
"Wait, but why? Why would you do that? That was your home!"
I felt horrible that I couldn't explain it all to him. I knew I must seem like a monster to him. Losing my voice like this was going to be hard. Who knew when I would get it back. I just looked into his eyes and my vision blurred again.
Eggplant had been looking at me like I was something not quite a pony any more. In a way he was really right. I knew the woods had changed me in strange ways. No pony could live here and escape it. I wasn't quite normal before I had started living here anyways.
He glanced down at my flank and gasped.
"Where is your cutie mark? Who are you?"
I felt my cheeks flush. My flank had always been blank and now I could barely squeak much less talk to explain. Instead I reached into my pack and handed him my book. I felt the worn cover of my life work as I passed it to him. It was barely half done. I only hoped I would live long enough to finish it. My name blazed in red lettering on the front. Rose Red.
"Rose? Your name is Rose! Go figure, mine is Thorn!"
I snorted, I liked Eggplant better. The worried look on his face vanished and he smiled and showed me his cutie mark. A thicket covered with nasty looking thorns. I wondered how he managed to get that?
I looked at my cabin and shook my head suddenly, this was a distraction we didn't need. What we needed was to be gone ten minutes ago. She could already be at the barrier by now.
I looked away from the towering flames that covered what was left of my home and tried not to cry again. As I started to run through the woods I checked behind me for Eggplant. He was followed me at a fast canter. I only hoped we had enough time.
Author's Note
My first chapter of fan fiction ever. I am definitely open to any and all comments or notes.
I have seen some terrible things in my time, but never have I seen anything as horrible as watching Rose destroy her cabin. Her own home, and she did it so... cleanly. Like tossing out an old pair of horse shoes. There was real love put into that home. Carvings of mystical creatures, beautiful works of art that could only have taken months to create. Just, gone...
I think that single act was what really made me realize that I wasn't in just another normal scrape. That I couldn't get out of this just as easily as I blundered into it. This amazing unicorn had just destroyed everything she owned to buy some time for us to escape.
My real name is Thorny Patch, but I prefer Thorn. Thorny sounds too much like a pet hedgehog. I am a proud member of the Everfree forest rangers. Since the series of terrible events following the crowning of princess Twilight Sparkle, it has been the Ranger’s job to identify threats from the forest and hopefully prevent disasters.
Between the seeds of Discord and the attack by the Changelings, the task of patrolling the woods was now of critical importance. We needed to know what was out there before it could throw Equestria into chaos again.
A week ago, a team in the new magical research division detected an unusual magic source, deep in the Everfree forest. I was sent to identify and report on the source. The eggheads at HQ seemed to always find some sort of natural event or harmless magical creature. I had once led a team to investigate an event that turned out to be a crazy dragon with a huge mustache throwing a fit about his tail hair. Some Rangers were starting to joke about what fashion disaster they would find next.
This time however, something dark was rising out of the forest, and it had caught me completely unprepared. I was flying over the target area when a group of the strangest insect creatures burst out of a huge mound on the foot of a tall snow capped mountain. I'm one of the fastest Pegasi in the Rangers but I still only barely managed to escape. They got me with this weird glowing spit that took out my wings. As I fell, I hit a magical barrier that killed most of my momentum. It splattered a couple of the insect creatures forcing them to break off pursuit.
My last memory was falling face first into a soft patch of dirt next to a small cottage. When I came to, there was Rose, trying to help me out. She was trying to help dig me out but I had panicked and hit her with her own shovel. Just thinking about it now makes me want to face hoof.
I am absolutely horrible with mares. It's really like I'm cursed to forever act like a complete idiot around them. The guys back at the station called me "Lucky" if that gives you an idea of what I mean. Hearts and Hooves day is a nightmare for stallions like me. One time I managed to trip and dump a glass of ice water on the prettiest mare in town.
As I cantered behind Rose, I carefully took stock of the situation. I had been going for three days now and I knew I didn't have too long before I collapsed. I always got kinda goofy before I hit the wall and I was pretty much on the other side of that wall when I woke up in the dirt to her poking me. But now I was running on pure terror.
The look on her face kept coming back to me pushing me to run a little faster. This was the unicorn that lived in the depths of the Everfree woods and kept pieces of timber wolves in her cottage. If those insect creatures from that mound scared her that much...
As we ran through the woods I could barely hear her hoof beats. There were some earth ponies back at the station that could move like that, but never so graceful or effortless. Every time I stepped on a twig or crushed some dried leaves she would wince a little and look back with a worried expression on her face.
Under most conditions I was pretty light on my feet, I was a Pegasus after all, but right now they felt like lead. They would only get heavier with time too. Following behind her I felt like I was a new recruit still back in basic training.
As I snapped a particularly large branch hidden under some loose soil she suddenly stopped. I skidded to a stop behind her. She looked left, then back along our trail. She looked worried but I managed to keep my mouth shut for once today and kept watch behind her. Shaking her head she closed her eyes and her horn glowed.
The dirt and leaves around our feet swirled and gusted off to the left, snapping twigs and branches like firecrackers. The tiny whirlwind darted off through the woods to the east. She gestured me to the right into some nasty brush and motioned me to watch my step. She very carefully showed me where to put my feet as we moved a step at a time through a particularly dense part of the undergrowth.
I whispered "I could try to just fly over this?"
She looked at me and made a weird squeaky "shhh" sound and shook her head. She pointed at the sky and peeked through her hooves.
"They are watching the skies, the trees were blocking us from sight. Got it!" I whispered, while nodding and putting a hoof over my mouth.
After about a thousand paces of solid brush, she started running again. I stifled a groan, my legs were starting to feel like rubber now. As we moved through the forest, the branches slapped at my sides and grabbed at my wings. I felt like I was being clawed at by Timber Wolves. The effect was eerily similar to their way of hunting. I HATED Timber Wolves, I had once spent a week up a tree with a broken wing and them baying underneath. I don't know if you have ever spent a week in a tree, but it isn't fun...
Suddenly, there was a bright flash in the sky behind us. The entire southern sky lit up a strange green color, almost as bright as the sun. The glow encompassed a sphere centered around Rose's home. Dazzled I looked at Rose and saw her gesturing me behind a boulder as she cowered behind it. I dived just in time to avoid a blast of wind that threw leaves and branches like daggers through the air. I looked over my shoulder and saw a piece of rock, embedded in my pack.
"What the hay was that!?"
She looked at me, smiled and see sawed her hands like she wasn't quite sure.
"Did you set that up? What the heck was that?"
She shook her head. She made a little squeaking noise. I had seen some magical barriers go down in my time. I was there when the changelings assaulted the royal wedding. Barriers weren't supposed to go boom like that. In fact, I hadn't seen anything like it before.
She looked ahead and gestured for me to keep following her. I felt dizzy as I slowly climbed to my feet. Our little break made me just want to lie down behind the rock. Rose, on the other hand, started trotting off into the woods as light as feather. Her back legs bounced back and forth as if her heavy pack weighed nothing at all. I shook my head and followed her, it was going to be a long day.
We seemed to go on forever, climbing up out of the small valley over the steepest most rugged terrain she could find. However, we did manage to keep cover over our heads. I could barely keep up, but when she started to get out of sight she would slow down and check her surroundings looking almost like a feral creature on the hunt.
I had never been so tired in my life. Every step just merged into the next in an endless wave. If it hadn't been for her, I would have collapsed on the ground and just waited for something to eat me. But I got her into this mess and I wouldn't let her down now. Just keep moving Thorn. Just keep moving...
As we made our way over a shattered pile of boulders and gnarly roots I fell, sliding down the mossy rocks and at her feet. Rose looked me up and down with a worried expression on her face. She then tossed me a bag of water and sat down next to me. As I drank down the warm water she pulled open her pack. Reaching into the bottom she pulled out a tiny clay jar, stopped with a bit of cork. Handling it very carefully she removed the cork and looked me in the eye. She stuck out her tongue and opened her mouth then pointed at me.
Now that I think about it, I must have been crazy to trust her. I stuck out my tongue with my mouth open wide and she carefully tipped a drop of something oily and jet black out of the horrible jar onto my tongue.
Suddenly the world went crazy. First I tasted the most bitter thing I could ever have imagined. Something from the foulest depths of Tartarus had invaded my tongue and made it into a land of horror. Then I felt like someone had put a whole jar of ground horseradish in my mouth turning my face bright red and beads of sweat ran down my face. Then I had to mightily resist the urge to yell at the top of my lungs as the fire burned through my body.
Calmly ignoring my rolling on the ground and moaning she re-stoppered the jar and placed it carefully in my pack. Over time, the burning and disgusting taste faded. I crawled to my feet and looked accusingly at her. The longer I spent with her the more I felt the strange feeling that she might be trying to kill me.
"What in Celestia's name did you put in that?!?!"
She grinned and see sawed her hands again and shrugged her pack back over her withers. I was just about to grab her and shake her to get an answer when a sudden warmth moved through me. My legs didn't hurt anymore! My pack felt light and the ground didn't seem to pull me down so hard.
"Wow! That's amazing."
She squeak/giggled a little and started to trot on through the woods. I felt so much better now that I could actually keep up! She picked up the pace and started to follow the game trails left by who knows what horrible creatures. We trotted past a huge distorted skeleton that must have been over 20 feet tall. There were so many strange things hidden under the tree tops here.
One time she came upon a single flower sitting in the middle of the path and stopped dead. She glanced at me to make sure I was paying attention and tossed a stick at it. The flower grew ten times, reared up, and snapped the stick and ate it's halves. I gave that thing a VERY wide berth and I took careful note of it's size shape and color. No pony wants to get eaten by a petunia!
As we reached the edge of the valley something started to come over me. The warm lightness of the potion started to fade away. In it's place was the feeling that something was horribly wrong. My stomach rebelled as the world started to spin. The bitter taste of the potion came back to me full force. I have never felt so sick before. Just then we came to a huge boulder. Rose hopped up it like a little mountain goat and I groaned. I would swear she did that just to torture me.
I started to slither my way up the rock feeling like someone was stepping on my head. Note to self, NO MORE POTIONS!
