Jake sat in front of Twilight's crystal tower. He was whittling a stick down to what he hoped would eventually become a boat. He never had much practice whittling, but that didn't impede his enthusiasm any. As he worked, three excited fillies ran across his vision, stopped, and turned to look at him.
Sweetie Belle raised a white hoof, "Hey, human!"
Apple Bloom nudged her, "He's Jake."
Scootaloo waved excitedly, "Come with us! We got an awesome idea that'll get us our cutie marks for sure!"
Jake considered his options, "Classic CMC. I can't say no to those faces." He tossed the wood aside and folded the knife, tucking it into a pocket as he stood up. "Where are we headed to?"
"Well the way ah see it," said Apple, "Yer a blank flank too, so we gotta stick together."
Jake gave a thumbs up, "Can't beat that logic! What's today's event? Is it a sport?"
Sweetie shook her head, "Nuh uh. We heard some bulls were messing with the Everfree Forest and we thought we'd get our marks in forest preservation!"
Scootaloo bobbed her head, "Yea, we're gonna be, like, forest rangers!"
Easily swept along with their enthusiasm, Jake followed the three out to the Everfree. They weren't joking. A troupe of minotaurs seemed to be busy clearing out the area and setting up a rope barricade in the resulting opening they carved out of the forest.
Apple Bloom rushed ahead to lead the charge, the others following behind, "Cutie Mark Crusaders, Forest Preservers!" Their charge met an untimely end as they collided with a shield only Jake could see, and even then only as they ran into it. They slid to the ground, blocked by the force field.
Scootaloo rubbed her sore noggin, "What the?"
Jake strode up to the unseen field and stuck his hand out into it. It passed through easily, and he could see where dim light shimmered around his arm. "Must be set to ponies," he decided. "You girls'll have to sit this one out, I'll put a stop to this."
Sweetie Belle clopped her hooves together, "Go get 'em, Jake! Show them not to mess with our creepy forest!"
Apple Bloom raised a brow, "Why are we trying ta protect tha Everfree again?"
Scootaloo shrugged, "I dunno. Wanna visit the arcade?"
Soon the CMC had departed, but Jake was already inside, advancing towards the minotaurs. "Hey, who's in charge here?"
One of the minotaurs turned to regard the human, raising a brow. "Don't recognize you," he gruffly said, "This is a hard hat area." He produced a yellow hard hat and slapped it on Jake's head, "Union rules."
Jake gave a huh, "Thanks, uh, so what are you doing here?"
The minotaur threw his arms wide, "We're making for the best barbeque Equestria's ever seen!"
Jake took a moment to soak in the idea of it before he raised his shoulders, "Ponies don't eat meat. Who's going to come?"
The minotaur raised a finger to the sky, "That's why we had a fancy ward put up to keep the ponies out. They wouldn't know a good thing if it bit them on the flank anyway! No, my friend, griffons! We got two flights of griffons on the way, and we have to be ready for them."
Jake looked around, watching as two minotaurs worked in tandem to set up a large grill while another team was setting out tables and benches. It had been a long time since he enjoyed a good meaty meal, "So, OK, I'm sold. I want in on this."
The minotaur slapped Jake on the back, "That's fantastic! You can get the meat!"
Jake blinked, "You don't already have that?"
The minotaur shook his head, "Meat's late, but we're right here next to the forest right here." He pointed into the Everfree. "Just about anything living in there is open season. Go kill a manticore or something else stupid and we can get this feast on the move!"
Jake frowned. He didn't remember clearly, but were manticores actually stupid? He pulled out his little pocket knife and showed it to the minotaur, "This is all I have to hunt with."
The minotaur waved a hand, "You'll just annoy a manticore with that! Here, use this." The minotaur went off to the large shed they had set up and fetched a machete, "We used this to clear the trees and plants around here. Sharp, solid. You'll get dinner in no time at all."
Jake wielded the significantly more deadly-looking tool with a grin. "Shoot, I feel like some kind of crazy adventurer or something now."
"That's the spirit," agreed the bull-man, "Get in there and get us dinner."
Jake strode out with purpose, machete held high, ready for swinging.
Another minotaur looked to the first one, "Do you think he'll make it?"
The first shrugged, "He was annoying me. If he makes it, great, if he doesn't, eh."
Jake began hacking his way through the forest, making good use of his new blade to ward away coiling vines and other things that dared to stand in his way. "I'm gonna bag me a big one," he said to himself cheerfully as he went. His enthusiasm wavered as he penetrated further into the forest. About half an hour of forcing his way into the increasingly foreboding forest and he rested against a tree, breathing heavily.
Just as he began to relax, he heard a voice call out. It sounded female, and distressed. Jake thought maybe a pony had wandered in and was in trouble, and he got back to moving quickly. He scrambled over logs and through briars, narrowly avoiding a patch of poison joke on his way to the voice.
"Help! Please help!" came the voice that beckoned Jake forward.
Jake hollered back at it, "I'm coming, don't be scared!"
Jake found his next step was on a sharp incline, and he tumbled down, nicking an arm with his own blade as he crashed at the bottom of the sudden hill. He muttered a foul curse as he sat up, sore a little everywhere. His concern for his injuries evaporated as he beheld a pony before him. She had deep green fur, but her mane was made of twigs and leaves. She sobbed loudly and was facing away from him. She had a cutie mark of an owl peeking out of a hole in a tree.
"Uh, hi?" offered Jake as he quickly got back to his feet, "Everything's cool now. I'm here."
The mare spun around, looking up at Jake. Her eyes darted to his machete and she edged away. "Stop hurting my friends," she requested in a meek tone.
Jake raised a brow, "Uh, I didn't hurt anybody yet. I was, uh, nevermind... So what's your name? I'm Jake!"
The mare gave a hesitant smile, "I'm Sylph Breeze. Could you... put that down?" She pointed at the blade he held.
Jake looked confused, but complied, jabbing the blade into the earth. Once the blade was put down, she walked up to him, "You look odd." Her nose twitched, "You smell odd. You are not from near here."
Jake shaked his head at Sylph, "Whole 'nother world. Far out, right?"
Sylph blinked. "Far out," she agreed, sounding unsure of the phrase, yet agreeing with it. "Please never use that again. My friends hurt so much."
Jake hiked a thumb at the machete, "Who'd I hurt with that?"
Sylph tilted her head, "The plants. What did they do to you? They wouldn't hurt anypony... Except Steve. Hello Steve."
Jake gave a 'huh', "Steve? That's a sil--" His words were cut off as ivy wrapped thickly around his midsection and hauled him into the air, squeezing him painfully, "Oh God! Hi Steve!"
Sylph pointed at the mass of angry ivies, "I was calling Steve when you were hurting my friends. Thank you, Steve."
Steve replied by squeezing Jake all the harder, making spots dance in his vision, "Please... call him off... I'm sorry!"
Sylph seemed to consider the matter as Jake was shaken around, "Do you promise to never use that again?"
"Scout's honor!" shouted Jake, trying to break free.
Sylph nodded her head, and Jake was released to the ground roughly. Steve grabbed the machete in its grasping tendrils, and began to move back into the Everfree with it.
Jake was slow in standing, aching all the way, "Ah man. There goes getting dinner."
Sylph tilted her head, "What do you eat?"
Jake hiked a thumb towards where he hoped was out of the Everfree, "The minotaurs were hoping for meat, lots of it."
Sylph bobbed her head as she started trotting away, "Follow me!" Where she went, the plants allowed her past without complaint, and remained parted in time for Jake to make quick time after her. She arrived at a riverside and pointed into its depths, "Fish will work, yes?"
Jake nodded, "Guess so. No reason you can't put some fish on a grill."
Sylph sat up on her hind legs, "They have to promise not to cut down my friends again, or I will send Steve and his friends after them."
Jake considered an angry plant monster wielding a blade, "Uh, yeah, I'll be sure to tell them."
Sylph clopped her hooves and the plants of the river animated for her, grabbing fish easily and bringing them to the surface for Jake to collect. That was more easily said than done, as Jake made slow progress getting wriggling slippery fish onto the shore. While he worked on that, Sylph fashioned a net of ivies to carry them in. "Go in peace," said Sylph. "If you come and say my name, the forest will let you visit me." She smiled gently, and shook hoof-to-hand with Jake.
Jake departed with his heavy burden of fish. True to her word, the forest led him out without resistance. He didn't feel the pinch of brambles or the claw of hanging branches. Soon he emerged to find the minotaurs already grilling something. It smelled a little like pork.
"Hey, I thought you didn't have meat!" he complained as he got into range of the same minotaur he had spoken to before.
He raised a brow, "Funny thing, meat guy showed up just after you left."
Jake grunted in annoyance, "Well I got some fish?"
The minotaur shrugged, "Don't need it."
Jake left, disappointed, though with fish for his trouble. He never did deliver his warning, and the minotaurs would be rudely surprised later.
Entering Twilight's crystal castle, he threw the sack of fish on the first table he saw. Spike wrinkled his nose, "What's with the fish? You expect me to clean that?"
Jake shrugged, "We could cook it?"
Spike made an expression of distaste and wandered off.
Twilight came down the stairs shortly after, "Spike said you-- Sweet Celestia, he wasn't joking. Where did you get all these fish?" She approached the net full of fish with spread wings, peering at them curiously.
Jake gestured at them, "A gift from a forest pony. You like fish?"
Twilight tilted her head, "They're alright I guess. Well this is far too much for us alone. We should make some for everypony, or it'll all go to waste."
And so it was that Jake did get his fish grill, just not with the minotaurs. Applejack and Pinkie Pie put their cooking skills to work converting the fish and some vegetables into a feast fit for Ponyville, and everypony was invited.
An hour into the party, a large group of griffons descended on the surprised ponies. "Do I smell grilled fish?" asked one.
Pinkie bobbed her head, pointing at the still-flaming cooking area, "You betcha, and there's plenty for everypony!"
Jake was quietly pleased. He ended up getting the griffons after all that. He wasn't sure how the minotaurs planned to make a profit out of this, but justice was served, and he considered it a good day.
Author's Note
Yay, a story that's not novel length! And it's probably terrible, and typos, all the typos!
Don't be too angry at me...
