It was a sunny summer afternoon and Rainbow Dash was armed with her P-Phone. She had seen the Johnny Noxpony movie “Jackass” the night before and dying to try out her own experiments. She had gotten the Cutie Mark Crusaders to help her out with her endeavors. How wasn’t much of a question. All she had to do was mention “cutie mark” and the Crusaders were automatically in. She and the crusaders were at the abandoned shack in Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack had given the girls permission to use the shack since it was up for demolition anyway. Scootaloo was in charge of the camera. Instead of using Dash’s phone she decided to use her own. The last few minutes toward the end was blacked out and the audio was muffled due to the P-phone being pushed down Scootaloo’s pocket. The CMC had initially uploaded the videos to their Youstable Channel under their ”weekly crusading videos” playlist, but was forced to delete them due to Rainbow Dash wanting the videos to be put on her channel. Dash received a copy of each video, but never uploaded them due to unknown reasons. These are the audio tracks from the three remaining Rainbowjackass videos from the Youstable archives. The rest were permanently deleted from the archives before they could be transcribed or saved.
RD: Hi I'm Rainbow Dash and this is the rocket cart.
RD: Scootaloo is that camera recording?
Sweetiebelle: I don't think this is a good idea guys.
RD: quiet I didn't steal these rockets from Twilight just to have you back out.
RD: you’re going to the moon.
AJ: Ah'm gonna have ta agree with sweetie on this one. You fellas' are bound to get yourselves killed.
RD: Be glad it isn't Applebloom that is getting launched.
AJ: Just don't come to me when somethin' goes wrong.
RD: Blah, blah, blah. Scootaloo it is time for my closeup?
Scoots: yep the camera's right on you Rainbow Dash!
AB: maybe Sweetiebelle'll get 'er cutie mark in rocketeerin'
RD whispering: How do you think I got her in that rocket?
Scoots: Rainbow dash it's your closeup aren't you going to say something?
RD: Oh... Hi i'm Rainbow Dash and this is the rocketcart. I found two big rockets and glued them to the side of this cart. And I would like to thank sweetiebelle for being the brave astronaut that volunteered to be launched to the moon.
Twi to the CMC: my little ponies! What are you up to this morning?... Wait a minute.... RAINBOW!!! ARE THOSE MY ROCKETS!!!!!????
RD: Um start the launch sequence.
Scoots behind the camera: uh oh...
RD: Why isn't the button working!
Twi: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE COST!!!??? GIVE THOSE BACK TO ME THIS INSTANT!!!!!!
Twi teleports to the roof where RD is.
RD: Twilight why isn't the rocket launching I keep pressing the button.
Twi: DAMMIT RAINBOW I DON'T CARE JUST GIVE ME MY ROCKETS!!!!!
RD: No this has to go on Youstable.
twi attempts to tare the rockets off the cart
RD: Hey be careful there is like 30 bits worth of glue on that thing.
Twi: THESE ROCKETS BELONGED TO STARSWIRL THE BEARDED!!!! THEY ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!!!!!!
RD: Twilight you know I don't study history I don't even know who that is.
Twi: THEY WERE GIVEN TO ME BY PRINCESS CELESTIA FROM THE ROYAL MAGIC ARCHIVES IN CANTERLOT!!!!
RD: I"m sure Celestia won't mind.
Twi continues to tear on the cart
RD: Hey you're breaking my cart.
Twi: AND YOU STOLE MY ROCKETS!!!!
Scoots behind the camera: this is SO going on YouStable.
RD: Turn that camera off and Twilight stop nerding up my video.
Scoots behind the camera: but what about the show?
RD: My show isn't called nerds take my stuff.
Sweetie belle: this isn't going to happen is it?
RD: Sorry but Twilight had to ruin it and Scootaloo turn that camera off!
Twi looks over: I ruined it!? These rockets are very old! Who knows if they even work anymore?
Twi: the fuel's probably already rancid
RD: See, why would you or Princess Celestia want those old rusty rockets? I was doing you a favor.
Twi: I was using them for research!
Scootaloo is still filming the whole thing.
RD: Research is boring at least I was using them for fun.
Twi: you were using age old rockets for fun. Uh huh.
RD: Well all you did was stare at them.
Scootaloo is still filming the whole thing, giggling at the argument
Applebloom: Scootaloo I think we should turn the camera off they might get mad.
Scoots: But this is SO funny though!
RD: Scootaloo what is so funny?
Scootaloo immediately stops recording and hides her iPhone: nothing. Just a YouStable video.
RD&Twi: Have you been recording our argument!?
RD&Twi: Well!?
Scoots: what!? No! I was just watching a video on YouStable!
RD: Then let me see what you were watching to make sure it isn't bad.
Scoots: I was just watching a Cultpony video where they deep fried hay burgers.
RD: Then why can't you look at me when you say that?
Scootaloo shoves her P-Phone further down her pocket: cuz you kinda look like one of the guys from the video?
Twi: Applebloom what was Scootaloo doing?
AB: Ah wasn't really payin' attention.
Twi: then why are you sweating and looking away from me. I am sure you don't want a cutie mark for lying.
Scootaloo: you know what guys I have some homework to finish for Ms.Cherrilee. See ya!
Scootaloo rides off on her scooter
RD: Dammit Scootaloo get back here!!
END.
This is the end of the audio track from the first of the three remaining Rainbowjackass videos. The audio tracks from the videos were transcribed for educational purposes to teach young fillies and colts to never attempt such things. These transcriptions belong to the Golden Oak Library of Ponyville. The stunts performed in these videos should not be attempted by anypony. Note: These transcriptions are for use for hearing impaired students. All three original videos are Available at the Golden Oak Library for educational use ONLY.