Beep. Beep. Beep.
Rainbow Dash grunted in exasperation, slumping further into her seat. The same infernal, electronic tone had been grating on her ears for the past two hours. She shot the offending machine a hooded glare; the monotonous beeping continued undeterred.
Dash snorted, collapsing into the cheap wooden chair once more. She surveyed the room with lifeless eyes; stark, cold tile and impassive medical equipment met her gaze wherever she looked. She heaved a sigh; at that moment, even a certain rambunctious pink pony would have been a welcome sight.
Rainbow let her gaze fall upon the bed at her side, looking away a moment later with a shudder; the mere sight of its senseless occupant wounded her like a knife to the heart.
Coward.
Dash growled under her breath. Steeling herself, she faced the bed once more.
Fluttershy’s normally flawless coat and mane were now disheveled, with random patches of fur jutting out in all directions. A bound front hoof hung suspended from the ceiling by a system of pulleys and cables; numerous sensors and wires trailed from various parts of her body to a plethora of instruments close at hoof. Despite these afflictions, Fluttershy wore her signature soft smile, her chest rising and falling in time with each tranquil breath. Dash couldn't resist a small smile of her own. I swear, she’s even more adorable in her sleep...
Rainbow's grin disappeared as the click of hoofsteps approached her room. Nurse Redheart was passing by the door on her usual rounds, pushing a cart laden with drinks and medicines. Peeking in for a moment, she regarded Rainbow Dash with gentle eyes.
Rainbow hung her head under the nurse’s stare, her vision tracing the lines of the tile floor; suddenly, being alone didn’t seem like such a negative prospect. Redheart cocked her head, but nevertheless took the unspoken hint, retreating into the hallway and proceeding to the next room.
Dash let out her breath as the nurse’s light hooffalls finally faded. She shifted position in her chair with a grimace, a muffled hiss slipping through her gritted teeth. It had taken all of her effort to keep from snarling at Redheart when the words “medical attention” had crossed her ears. Like a mother timberwolf protecting its young, Dash had maintained her vigil at Fluttershy’s side as the minutes and hours ticked away. It was only fair; after all, she was the Element of Loyalty.
Rainbow’s eye twitched. Yeah, right. Loyalty, my plot.
Rainbow Dash groaned and buried her face in her hooves.
Damn it, Dash, why didn't you listen?
********************
"You sure about this, Fluttershy? I mean, you know how you can be with flying, after... "
"No, Rainbow Dash. I'm positive. I am a pegasus, after all, and it's time for me to stop being afraid. I want you to help me."
Rainbow shook her head in admiration. Between the unfortunate incident with Iron Will and her friend’s breakthrough performance during the water transfer tornado, a whole new Fluttershy was starting to emerge. At that moment, Dash saw no trace of the terrified little filly that couldn't even squeak out her name to a newly arrived Twilight Sparkle.
Dash smiled. Sure, she could be a little short with Fluttershy at times—okay, very short, she admitted ruefully—but there was no denying their friendship, or the element of loyalty that Rainbow ponified. She’d never been more proud of her best friend.
Rainbow Dash eyed the dial of Twilight’s anemometer, giving an ecstatic wave to Fluttershy as her friend returned to the designated starting line. Twilight marked a perfect, round dot with a single tap of her quill, adding the latest reading to her graph. Dash peered over her shoulder, nodding in approval at the steady upward curve.
Rainbow had pushed her student hard over the past several days, and Fluttershy had given it everything she had, progressing faster than Dash had thought possible. As Fluttershy grew more and more confident in ground-level practice, her wingpower had skyrocketed. Mane even more tousled than usual in the wake of Fluttershy’s latest pass, Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof as she watched the needle break into the green zone for the third time in a row. Fluttershy was ready to begin the real task of conquering her fears.
The next morning was spent hovering, barely above the treetops, but still much higher than Fluttershy had been during the tornado. The timid pegasus kept a death grip on one of Dash's forehooves with both of her own, her eyes darting about frantically behind their closed lids. Yet with Rainbow's constant stream of encouragement echoing in her ears, her wings began to move almost with a life of their own; before long, their pastel feathers were stretched out fully to the sun, matching their cyan counterparts stroke for stroke.
Dash allowed this routine to continue for a few days, until in the middle of one session, she slowly released her grip upon her friend’s hooves. It took a few moments for the quietly flapping Fluttershy to realize what had happened. She let out a whimper, her eyes still clamped shut, and groped at the air in search of Dash. Ducking a flailing limb, Rainbow backpedaled, stretching out with her voice.
"Easy now, don't panic, it's all right, you're doing it!"
Fluttershy inched one eye open. Her first sight was Dash floating a few yards away, sporting a huge grin. She tentatively glanced earthward. The highest foliage of the surrounding trees, seemingly miles below her, greeted her petrified gaze.
The trembling mare snapped her eyes shut again, unable to suppress the shriek that tore from her throat. Her head rang with a shrill, mocking chant, one that she had grown to loathe. Spiteful voices repeated the words mercilessly, over and over, like a broken record, growing in volume and intensity to the point of pain. A brief grimace flashed across her face; Dash leaned forward, prepared to intervene.
"Just relax, Shy, you're okay. I'm right here."
Like a weak radio signal, the reassuring words filtered through the sea of noise. Fluttershy focused on them, clung to them, fought to block everything else out.
The malicious voices faded at last. Fluttershy cracked an eye open, catching sight of Rainbow watching her, and ventured another peek at the treetops below, waving gently in the light breeze. A nervous smile grew on her lips.
I am doing it.
Dash relaxed, chuckling in satisfaction. "Heh, come on, kid. Let's see what those new wings of yours can do!" She took off, not too high, not too fast, just a routine flight for a pegasus. She looked over her shoulder and was thrilled to see Fluttershy close behind, eyes shut once again, but wings pumping as if she had done this a million times.
********************
"Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow was snapped from her reverie. Nurse Redheart pursed her lips, shaking her head.
"Dash, you look awful. Are you sure you won't let the doctor at least take a look at you?"
Rainbow sat up straighter in her chair, her breath hitching as the abrupt movement sent a fresh lance of pain shooting through her left side. Biting down hard on the gasp that threatened to escape her lips, Dash did her best to mask the agony from her face as she replied.
"I'm all right, really. Just let me stay with her."
"But..." Redheart's protest died on her lips as she glanced at the crumpled figure in the bed.
"Please?" Rainbow's voice carried a note of desperation that she couldn't quite hide. Strained by pain and worry, it was almost a pleading whine.
Redheart opened her mouth one last time. One look into Dash’s haunted eyes was enough to kill any argument she might have offered. Settling for a single, curt nod, the nurse took her leave without another word. The door latch clicked home behind her, and Rainbow Dash could breathe again.
********************
The practice flights went on for days, with Fluttershy growing ever more capable. One evening, after a particularly successful session, Dash lay in her cloud home with an idea growing in her head. She was exhausted, but there was no room for sleep in her actively working mind. She had a surprise planned for Fluttershy.
They were going to fly to Cloudsdale... tomorrow.
Despite her excitement, Dash found herself engaged in an inner battle.
Is she ready?
Well, of course she's ready! You saw her out there today.
But to Cloudsdale? That was a tough flight even for you once upon a time.
Rainbow snorted, burying her face into the small cumulus that served as her pillow. I was a filly! Fluttershy's a stronger flier than I was then. Besides, she’s already flown to Cloudsdale once before, remember?
Yeah, but that was before...
Dash's quick temper snapped. Just shut the hay up. She's over that now. She was a hero, for Celestia's sake. She'll be fine.
Dash rolled over on her cloud mattress, staring into Luna's beautiful night.
"She has to be fine."
"Oooh... my." Fluttershy's nervous squeak was even more faint than usual. ”C-Cloudsdale?"
Rainbow Dash flicked her tail, shooting Twilight an imploring glance.
Twilight leaned upon her telescope. "Oh, Fluttershy. You're an excellent flier now. We all know you can do this."
Applejack nodded in affirmation. "We all believe in ya, sugarcube."
"YAY, FLUTTERSHY!" Pinkie Pie sprung onto a trampoline that had appeared out of nowhere, firing off a pair of confetti hoof cannons as she peaked.
Where does she get all this stuff? Dash inwardly grinned.
She turned back to Fluttershy, who was doing her best to hide behind her mane. "Dash, I don't think... "
Rainbow stifled a grunt of annoyance. She stepped across and lifted her friend's chin. "Flutters, I wouldn't have worked with you every day for a month if I didn't believe in you." She met Fluttershy's gaze squarely. "Do you believe in yourself?"
The anxious pegasus dropped her eyes, voice barely above a whisper. "Y-yes."
Seizing the initiative, Dash grasped Fluttershy's hooves and lifted off, forcing her into the air as well. "You can do this, Shy. They know it," Rainbow cajoled, gesturing to the rest of their friends, who waved back, "and so do I. You wanted to conquer your fear of flying, right?" Fluttershy gave a feeble nod. "Then this is that final big step... and I'll be right there the whole time. Okay?"
Fluttershy hesitated for a moment, but nodded once more, a sudden resilience in her eyes. With the cheering of her friends echoing in her head, that was all Dash needed. Flexing her wings, she shot away, angling her ascent in the direction of Cloudsdale. Fluttershy took a deep breath and followed suit.
The first half of the journey remained uneventful, since Dash knew Fluttershy was in familiar territory. Rainbow threw a glance over her shoulder, still able to make out her friends below as they tracked their progress. Twilight was peering into her telescope as Spike tugged at her tail, begging a look. Applejack was sharing a pair of binoculars with Pinkie Pie; Dash spied a glint of azure as Rarity levitated her own pair of field glasses.
Despite Fluttershy's newfound confidence, she still had her eyes closed. She let out a gasp, feeling the moisture beading on her coat as she broke through the cloud layer. The feeling was always shocking, even under the best of circumstances, but twice so when coupled with her current uneasiness. Dash caught her friend's hoof, squeezing it in reassurance. Straining her eyes, Rainbow could make out the pillars of Cloudsdale shining in the distance. Fluttershy's hoof trembled in her own, and she tightened her grip.
Hang on, Fluttershy. Almost there.
The magnificent aerial city grew closer and closer. Dash allowed herself a tight smile. Fluttershy had done it. She had completely vanquished her fear. She...
"Dash?"
Rainbow looked back, following the path of her front hoof as it trailed behind her. Fluttershy clung to it, her eyes still closed, her confidence pouring out like water.
"D-Dash, I c-can't do this!"
Rainbow Dash nearly gave in as the pitiful wail tore at her heart. Turning halfway round, she took a last glance at Cloudsdale; glistening like a great diamond in the sun, the city taunted her with its presence. Gnawing her lip, Dash paused for only a fleeting second before her long reckless streak took control.
"You can, Fluttershy! You're so close!" Clutching her friend's hoof with all of her might, Rainbow Dash threw herself forward towards their goal. Battling back her rising panic, Fluttershy strove bravely to keep pace.
Then Fluttershy opened her eyes.
She had only flown with her eyes open once before during training, and that for the briefest moment, and much closer to the ground than now. This time, Fluttershy couldn't even see the ground. She only saw... whiteness. A fluffy mass of ivory spread out beneath her as far as she could see. Clouds... below me?! Oh Celestia!
Fluttershy realized just how high she and Dash had come. She stared earthward, transfixed by the vast atmospheric expanse beneath her, the last of her courage melting away at a frightening rate. A strangled whimper escaped her lips as alarm bells pealed furiously in her ears... along with six familiar words.
Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly...
Rainbow looked back at the sound of her companion's frightened gurgle. She saw Fluttershy's eyes, wide open, riveted below her in raw fear. Dash had just enough time to put together what had happened, what she had forgotten, how she had failed, before her most horrific fear became cold reality before her eyes.
Fluttershy's wings stopped pumping.
They snapped themselves onto her back in reflexive terror.
Fluttershy began to fall.
Her hoof tore itself from Rainbow's, and she dropped like a stone.
Oh, buck me...
Rainbow Dash flung herself back toward earth. "No no no no no!"
She screamed futilely into the air, cursing those punks back in flight school for what they'd done. She cursed herself for forcing her best friend into this—for being so careless—for overlooking what now seemed obvious.
Though Fluttershy had been terrified to open her eyes merely a moment before, now she could not close them if she wanted to. She stared wide-eyed, watching the clouds rushing away as she plummeted at near-terminal velocity. Her body punched a neat hole through the cloud layer, the impact doing little to slow her momentum. Rainbow Dash streaked through the gap a second later with an earsplitting crack, a concentric shockwave of color obliterating every cloud in the immediate area.
It felt to Dash like an eternity before she at last reached her struggling friend, though in reality it was no more than a few seconds. She seized Fluttershy in all four hooves, flashing her a heartening smile. “Gotcha! Now hang on...” Tilting her wings forward as far as her considerable flexibility allowed, Rainbow began to pull out of her vertical dive, gritting her teeth against the G-forces.
Her hoof slipped. Fluttershy dropped.
Rainbow Dash cursed, fluttering her wings madly to avoid falling into a tailspin at the sudden change of balance. Lunging downward, she made a desperate grab with her free hoof, feeling fibrous strands in her grasp. She yanked hard without hesitation, earning a squeal from Fluttershy. In one smooth motion, Dash released her friend’s mane and grabbed her foreleg as it came within reach, pulling Fluttershy into her chest.
Half flying, half falling, Rainbow slammed her wings open to their full spread, allowing them to catch as much air as possible. Slowly, ever so slowly, the champion flyer began to level out, her sheer drop giving way to a controlled glide. Dash breathed a furtive sigh of relief. That was way too close...
“R-R-Rainbow Dash?”
Every muscle in Fluttershy’s body had gone rigid at once.
Craning her neck to peer over her friend’s shoulder, Rainbow Dash beheld the earth rising up to meet her, no more than twenty feet away.
Shit.
Rainbow made a split-second decision; tucking her wings, she rolled over Fluttershy in an effort to shield her from the brunt of the impact. Closing her eyes, Dash braced herself as best she could.
It didn't help very much.
The savage collision drove the air from her lungs in a single gasp. Rainbow struggled to maintain her grip on the blonde pegasus as she bounced and skidded along the rough, unforgiving ground, powerless to do anything but wait for the painful ride to end.
The end came abruptly when Dash smashed into a heavy oak tree skirting the narrow path, sending her burden flying from her hooves. Piercing flashes of red consumed the blackness behind Rainbow’s eyelids as the bones in her left leg and shoulder splintered. Ricocheting off the solid timber, her bloody, broken figure rolled over and over a few more times before finally coming to a halt.
Rainbow Dash lay staring vacantly into the sky, her vision blurry and tinged with crimson. She fought for air that refused to come, her chest heaving with each feeble wheeze; she wanted more than anything to scream, but lacked the breath to do so. A wave of dizziness swept over her, and she let her head sink to the earth; a motionless amber form swam into view.
Luna, no.
"...shy? Dash?"
The panicked cry partially penetrated the swirling fog of pain. Exerting all her remaining energy, Rainbow managed to lift a hoof in response.
"Dear Celestia, she's moving..."
Dash's cyan limb fell limp again as the merciful blackness engulfed her.
********************
Stirring, Rainbow Dash looked at the clock, for what felt like the hundredth time. Only a few minutes had passed since her last glance, though it seemed she had been lost in thought for hours. Lurching to her hooves with a sigh, Dash set off on a restless circuit of the room, limping from window to door and back again, unable to shut her ears to the panic-stricken scream of a falling pegasus.
Fluttershy had begged to go back.
Rainbow Dash had made her go forward.
She'd failed.
Failed how? Failed to recognize that Fluttershy's fear was still very present? Failed to get her to Cloudsdale, by inspiration or otherwise? Or had she failed to save her?
No. Fluttershy wanted to do this. Not even she could have predicted what happened. And I almost certainly saved her life.
So why do I feel so awful?
Dash blinked as a sudden memory sprang to her mind. A memory of a saddlebag crashing to the ground, dozens of award ribbons spilling out of it. What was it that she had said to Applejack that day? That your failure wasn't important to your true friends?
Applejack believes that. So why can't I?
Her mind wandered through the many adventures spent with her friends. Dash's humiliation during the Mare Do Well fiasco, her meltdown during the Best Young Flier Competition, crying alone in Ghastly Gorge while praying for rescue... these painful memories and more came flooding back. Dash wondered why she remembered her moments of weakness more clearly than anything else.
Why did her reputation mean so much to her?
"I'm afraid."
Dash shook her head, realizing that she had spoken this last phrase out loud. Oh come on...
The fastest, bravest, and most loyal pony in Equestria wasn't afraid of anything...
Was she?
Dash blinked, fighting back tears. Yeah, she admitted. I am.
But of what?
A frustrated snarl ripped unbidden from her throat. I don't know!
Rainbow immediately regretted the answer as her conscience added a pang of guilt to her already physical suffering. She did know.
She was afraid of failing... of being rejected... of being... alone.
Just as she was at that moment, her bedridden companion only serving to fuel her self-doubt. Dash squeezed her eyes shut. Pull it together, Dash... pull it...
The dam over the athletic pony's heart finally crumbled. Dropping to her knees beside the bed, Rainbow Dash finally let the tears fall.
********************
Dash had no idea how long she lay there in her own misery. She didn’t even hear the door to Fluttershy's room open, she was so consumed by her own shortcomings.
A light, hesitant hoof trailed along Rainbow’s neck, awkwardly stroking her unkempt mane. Wearily raising her tear-stained eyes, Dash found herself looking into Twilight Sparkle's own wet face. She had been standing there watching her for several minutes, clearly doing some crying of her own.
Dash bolted to her hooves, letting slip a clench of her teeth as her shoulder protested. She recoiled for a moment as Twilight reached for her, raising her chin in feigned ardor; her defiant façade soon wilted under Twilight’s compassionate gaze. Rainbow Dash relented and collapsed onto her friend’s shoulder, fresh tears springing anew from both.
They embraced for a long time, Dash silently apologizing, though she didn’t exactly know what for, and Twilight silently forgiving. Rainbow Dash finally raised her head and looked Twilight in the eyes. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I've been so stupid and selfish and..."
Twilight shook her head, planting a hoof over Dash’s mouth. The smile on her lips and in her eyes said it all—Rainbow was already forgiven.
"Dashie," Twilight began. Rainbow was surprised at her use of the name. "Nopony else was ready for what happened either. It's not your fault."
Dash instinctively cringed once more, in spite of her friend's absolving words. Her ears flattened, and she looked away, unable to meet Twilight’s gaze. Twi had just hit way too close to home.
Twilight watched, dumbstruck, her smile replaced by a soft frown of concern. This was a side of Rainbow Dash that she never knew existed. She had never seen Dash so unwilling to forgive herself, so... protective of the guilt she felt was rightly hers.
Twilight took a step forward, tilting her head. “Rainbow?”
Dash’s jaw tightened.
“Dash? What’s really going on?”
The beleaguered pegasus remained silent, turning away to face the window, fixing the world with a vacant stare.
Twilight bit her lip. Come on, Dash... talk to me.
An idea struck her. Twilight ignited her horn, hesitating as guilt pricked at her heart. Her mentor would surely disapprove of such cavalier use of her powers. Yet as much as Twi hated to disappoint her teacher, the idea of simply watching her stubborn friend suffer in silence was equally repugnant.
She’d apologize to Celestia later.
Twilight fed mana into her horn until it glowed as bright as she dared. She allowed her magic to flow effortlessly through Dash, seeking out the source of the turmoil that was evident in her eyes. Right away Twi felt her friend's heart, roiling like a ship caught in a gale; she closed her eyes and concentrated. This would be incredibly difficult for an average magic wielder, especially on a less-than-ideal subject like Rainbow Dash; her keen senses were honed to razor sharpness by the minuscule changes in airspeed and wind direction that she had learned to detect. She would certainly pick up on even their subtlest magical advance.
Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle was not your average magic wielder.
Dash continued to gaze across the hospital grounds, oblivious to the featherlight tendrils of magic piercing her innermost self. Twilight was focusing on causing the pegasus as little disturbance as possible. Her eyelids flickered as she carefully located and latched on to the source of whatever was torturing her friend.
Twilight grit her teeth as she was promptly hit by a full-scale emotional assault. A debilitating fear flooded through her, expanding to fill every corner of her heart, seeking to squelch any shred of courage it could find. "Failure, failure," it whispered hauntingly.
Memories, faces, some of them unfamiliar to her, began to float through her panicked mind. Applejack's triumphant grin drifted past, a horseshoe clamped between her teeth. Her victorious remark rang in Twilight's ear. "Yer a mighty good athlete. Ah'm just better." The unicorn suppressed a snarl.
"Hey hey!" a second voice sounded in Twi's other ear. "Punch any new holes in the city today, Rainbow Crash?" A blond, dark brown pegasus with a dumbbell cutie mark grinned mockingly at her. Twilight ground her teeth and mentally swatted him away.
A unicorn, in a dark mask and cape, appeared where the pegasus had been a second earlier. She stepped forward unhurriedly and unceremoniously slipped the mask from her face. Twi could barely look, not surprised to see a pair of glassy indigo eyes as they met her own. "I don't understand. Why?" inquired Rainbow Dash's disbelieving cry.
Twilight tore her gaze away from herself, only to stare directly into the faces of a pair of slowly approaching pegasi, the male a deep blue, the female a light pastel green. Twi was transfixed by the lightning bolt cutie mark on the male's flank. Her breath caught in her throat as her infected heart lurched in terror.
"Expelled? You got bucking expelled?"
The couple stopped three paces away. Twilight Sparkle looked to the female, who refused to meet her eyes, dropping her gaze with a mixture of disappointment and sorrow. The male, on the other hoof, wore an unblinking, intense stare, so like Rainbow's own.
Though his mouth formed no words, they pealed in Twilight's head anyway.
"It's the truth Dad! W-why can't you believe me?!"
"Because there's nothing to believe anymore, Rainbow! First it was that... that damn Sonic Rainboom shit, and now this. Do you want to be a failure for the rest of your life??"
Twilight Sparkle had had enough. With a groan, she broke the magical connection between herself and Rainbow Dash. The accusatory voice was abruptly cut off mid-sentence, as if Vinyl had suddenly lifted the needle from the record.
Breathing a bit heavily, Twilight blinked herself back to full consciousness. In all the time she had been in Ponyville, Dash had never mentioned anything about her family. Now Twi understood why. The unicorn shook her head slowly. How long had Rainbow been bearing that?
Rainbow Dash was still standing at the window, back to Twilight. As if on cue, she turned to face her friend, face grim. "I guess now you know why I've never mentioned them before."
Twi's jaw dropped. "Oh, Dashie... I'm so sorry... how... ?"
Rainbow gave a half-hearted grin. "You did great for a while, I never sensed a thing." She shrugged. "But when all your worst memories decide to dance on your brain at once, I can imagine it being a little tough to keep your composure."
Twilight lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Dash." she repeated. "I shouldn't have done that."
Dash sighed. She wearily plodded across the room, sitting gently on the edge of Fluttershy's bed. She leaned over and nuzzled her friend's neck. "Don't be. I'm just grateful that you wanted to help. It's... not fun flying solo." She grinned weakly. "Besides, even if you'd asked, I probably wouldn't have said anything."
Twilight moved to sit next to Dash. She could think of nothing to say to that, simply returning the smile. The weary pair sat in silence for a while, Fluttershy's heart monitor once again holding sway over the quiet.
Twi was first to break the peace. "Uh... Dash... how long... I mean, do you... really... see all that?"
Rainbow inhaled sharply. "To answer your first question, pretty much as long as I can remember, ever since..." Dash grimaced and quickly decided that when wasn't important. "And no, I don't really see anything. The fear, the memories, usually they just kind of lurk, never really go away." Dash shook her head. "I don't know what you messed with while you were... you know, in me... but whatever it was, it really didn't like you. Looks like it decided to give you the whole Ponydora's Box to open at once."
Rainbow Dash paused, hoping that Twilight would be satisfied with that. She wasn't. The purple unicorn remained focused intently on Dash, her eyes shining with sympathy.
Dash sighed to herself. Twi wanted to help, and she wasn't going away until Dash let her. In fact, as much as Rainbow may have wanted to disagree... she wanted the help.
Rainbow Dash arose. She returned to her former place by the window, watching the sun begin to set in a fiery blaze of orange and crimson. "All right. Here it is."
The bed squeaked lightly as Twilight got up, her hooves clicking softly against the spotless tile floor as she moved to stand next to her friend, trying to bolster Dash's resolve by merely her presence.
Rainbow swallowed hard, fixing her gaze intently on nothing in particular. Her brilliant, red-orange bangs reflected the sinking sun's matching rays. She didn't appear to notice the soft click of the door handle.
Twilight glanced over her shoulder as Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity filed in. Spike was perched upon his idol's back, looking as contented as he had in weeks. She raised a hoof, halting their instinctive rush toward Rainbow. The four friends looked at each other, then marched quietly over to stand with Twilight. Applejack opened her mouth, ready to inquire as to what was going on, but stopped as she was interrupted.
"Let's just say... that I had a pretty unfortunate fillyhood." Dash continued to watch Celestia put the sun out. "Like, you probably won't believe me, but I was one of the last in my class to learn to fly. I was like Scootaloo... my wings really took their sweet time to come in."
Twilight nodded, even though Dash couldn't see her. "Well, I always figured..." she softened her voice, "that the name 'Rainbow Crash' meant..."
Dash gritted her teeth. "Yeah. They actually came up with that one after I'd already learned. Right away, I guess I thought I was invincible or something." She grimaced. "I think I actually crashed more after I knew how to fly."
"Anyway... my wings didn't matter to Dad. He went ahead and threw me right into flight school, even though everypony was telling him to wait a year." Rainbow shut her eyes. "Longest nine months of my life. Every day for me was pretty much 'fall, get laughed at, repeat'... with a lecture from Dad waiting when I got home, usually along the lines of 'I-can't-believe-I-up-and-moved-my-family-to-Cloudsdale-for-this.'" She smiled sarcastically. "Multiply that by about two hundred, and you get more or less my first year of flight school."
Rarity gave a small cluck, unable to contain herself. Dash whirled, seeing the four new faces for the first time. She stammered, and lowered her head, suddenly embarrassed for no discernable reason. "Uh... h-hey guys. I... look, just because you're all here doesn't mean that I'm looking for pity or anything, all right? I just... Twilight tried to help me and ended up hurting herself, and I was just gonna tell her."
Applejack grinned. "Don't you worry none, sugarcube. We all know that ain't yer style."
Dash stared at her for a moment, then nodded, satisfied. She turned back to the window again. Twilight stroked her mane comfortingly. "But you did learn to fly that year, right? I mean, you did earn your cutie mark first year."
Dash hung her head, nodding. "Right. But luck of the draw kind of screwed me then, too."
Applejack tipped her workhat back slightly, frowning. "What d'ya mean?"
"I mean, I met Fluttershy exactly three days after I achieved liftoff for the first time."
The ponies frowned, drawing blanks.
Dash looked over her shoulder. "And I got my cutie marks on the same day."
Twi's face cleared; she had it now. The other ponies still looked confused.
Taking a long breath, Dash spelled it out for them. "How do you tell somepony that you've just done a frickin' sonic rainboom three days after you first got off the ground?"
The ponies stood in silence. There was no answer to that.
"You don't." Dash confirmed. "My instructors called me a liar, said I was jealous of the other pegasi. I was nearly at ground level, so naturally no one saw it. Let's just say that my story got around, and it wasn't long before a certain griffon wanted to call me on it."
Pinkie goggled. "You mean that big mean meanie-pants Gilda?"
Rainbow just nodded. "Long story short, she called me a certain word that I don't care to repeat. She left with a couple of black eyes and her beak pretty messed up, and I... well, they booted me off the cloud right there."
Dash closed her eyes and drew in a shaky gulp of air. "I really didn't care too much, since I already knew more than they could teach me." She shivered. "But my dad..."
Rainbow paused to compose herself as best she could. "You can imagine that this certainly wasn't my first fight, so he already had me on a really short leash. I actually got into a hell of a lot more fights than he ever knew about, since I got good enough to get out unscathed a lot of the time." Twilight detected no hint of pride in this statement, which spoke volumes about how serious Dash was. "Anyway..." Rainbow's voice shook. "When he heard about me beating on Gilda, and getting expelled to boot... he lost it. I've never seen anypony so mad. A whole lot of good the truth would have done me; that I already had the skill to do a rainboom before ever leaving the ground, and I was just waiting on my wings? Who in their right mind would believe that? Never mind a Wonderbolt."
Dash suddenly realized that she had said too much.
Rarity's eyes narrowed. "Say that again."
Dash was snared. "I – yeah." she finally admitted. "My dad's Lightning Storm."
Lightning Storm had been the Wonderbolts captain until a couple of years ago, when he had mysteriously retired for "personal reasons," as he cryptically put it to anypony that asked. That particular mystery suddenly seemed a lot clearer to everypony.
Dash's voice grew tight with anger as she picked up her story right where she had left off. "I tried it anyway," she grated. "That's when he asked me something." Rainbow Dash trembled in rage. "Something that I'll never forget."
Twilight's eyes widened as she put the pieces together. It all made sense.
Dash slammed her hoof onto the windowsill. "So I told him to go buck himself."
Spike hissed in approval. Rarity turned and shushed him.
Dash's tense form finally sagged a bit as she looked away. "I don't remember a whole lot of what happened after that... just my mom yelling for my dad to stop doing... something... but I guess I left him a pretty big mess to clean up." She absently ran a hoof through her mane. As she pulled it away, her friends noticed a long jagged scar running down the back of her head.
"I barely made it out of my front door before passing out." She chuckled humorlessly. "That's when I caught the first lucky break I'd seen so far. I landed on a cloud." She shook her head. "I was out for a couple hours, and the damn thing drifted right on into Ponyville. Woke up in this hospital... in this room in fact. I remember Fluttershy coming by later; turns out she had found me. When she told me that she planned on staying in Ponyville, that was more than enough reason for me to stick around, rather than... y'know, go back home. Once I got out, I hunted around for a while, looking for anypony willing to take on a runaway, flight school dropout. Apparently Cloud Kicker put in a good word for me, and I got lucky and landed a spot on the weather team. And well... the rest is history, as they say."
Stunned speechless, nopony - or dragon - could think of anything to say. Several minutes passed in this excruciating silence, only broken by somepony or other clearing her throat, preparing for nothing to come out.
"So..." Everypony except Dash jumped. Rainbow nodded to Twilight, her jawline taut. "There's your answer, I guess." Twi was startled when Dash's eyes began to water again. Rainbow read her face, and managed to pull herself together. "Bottom line: I wake up every morning fighting the voices in my head telling me that I'm a loser, I'm a liar, and I'll never be good enough. Probably why I talk myself up so much to ponies. I guess I keep telling myself if I do that enough, then I'll start believing it too."
Silence.
"That's why I've been so obsessed with the Wonderbolts. Not because my dad was one... but because I want to show him up. To make it into the same group that he once captained, and captain it myself." Dash's eyes glowed. "And do it better than him. To prove to him that not only am I not a failure... I'm better than he'll ever be."
More silence.
Rainbow sighed. "There's your answer to why I hate losing... Applejack," she nodded to the orange farm pony. Applejack looked steadily back into her eyes, all traces of humor gone. "That's the whole reason why so many ponies look up to me, why they call me 'awesome' - hell, that's probably the reason why I hurt myself all the time." Dash turned back to the window. Luna's moon was just peeking out over the treetops in the half-light. At some point somepony had hung a firefly lamp from a hook on the ceiling. Nopony had noticed. "I drive myself to be faster, better, than my own limits, even. My only thought is 'If you're number one, if you're the absolute best there is... you can't possibly lose.'" Dash sighed again.
"So that's my life for you - always trying to be number one at everything." Rainbow shook her head in despair. "And before you get any funny ideas about trying that, let me tell you that it's impossible. It can't be done. And that's the worst part... trying to make it through life without failing, while knowing that at some point you're going to."
Dash leaned upon the windowsill, the cool evening breeze ruffling her mane, as she buried her head in her hooves.
"I'm just... so sick of it all."
Five ponies and a single dragon stood in silence as Rainbow Dash finished emptying her heart. A welcome evening zephyr wafted through the open window, similarly cleansing the room. Fluttershy shivered slightly in her sleep, and Rarity's horn glowed as she unfolded a blanket from the foot of the bed.
Twilight Sparkle made the first move, stealthily joining Rainbow at the window, staring into the night with her. The unicorn nuzzled Dash's ear affectionately.
"Dashie, we all know that you're an exceptionally talented pony, but you don't have to be perfect. Nopony can be... and believe me, I've tried." Twilight smiled ruefully, images of a brawling mob of lovestruck ponies lingering all too fresh in her mind. "Rainbow Dash, mistakes don't determine friendships."
"Lucky for me, right?" Dash was hard-pressed to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
Twilight's eyes grew even softer, if that were possible. "Dash. Just because you're the Element of Loyalty doesn't mean you can't expect it from the rest of your friends." Dash raised her head again, eyeing Twi nervously. Twilight gestured toward the cluster of ponies at her side. "You think we haven't made mistakes at one time or another? Or felt like we weren't good enough?" The gang nodded in agreement. Pinkie Pie's face contorted as she appeared to be reliving a particularly painful memory.
Twi put every ounce of sincerity she had into her voice. "Dash, I can't think of one time when you walked away from any of us, even though we felt like we deserved it. Even today." Rainbow glanced at Twilight, a question in her eyes. "The nurse told me that you've stayed with Fluttershy the entire time, not even going to get treated. Rainbow, a pony doesn't do that unless it's for somepony they care about."
Twilight looked the weatherpony square in the eye. "That's what real friendship is, Dashie. You don't need to worry about measuring up; we'll always love you no matter what. And that's never going to change." She lightly tapped Dash on the chest, a wry smile forming on her face. "You know, nopony's keeping score but you." Rainbow looked down, a bit ashamedly, but a flicker of the usual intensity had returned to her eyes.
Twi placed a gentle hoof around the pegasus, mindful of her injuries as she shepherded Dash away from the window. The pair walked together to the rest of the group, and they all enveloped each other in a heartfelt group hug. Feeling the love surrounding her, Rainbow Dash felt the misgivings, anxiety, and fear she had been carrying for so long melt away, and she felt a few final tears rolling down her face and splashing on the hospital floor.
The group was interrupted by a soft tap on the open door. Nurse Redheart poked her head in. "Oh... er... pardon me, everypony. Rainbow Dash, the doctor's waiting for you. Are you ready to be examined?"
Dash glanced at her friends, and looked one final time at Fluttershy, lying in bed. She was startled to see that she was awake. Dash darted over to her side and started to speak, but stopped when she met Fluttershy's eyes. They shone brightly with gratitude, compassion, and love, and Dash knew that she had heard everything that Twilight had said.
Dash took a deep, shaky breath, and turned back to the nurse. "Yeah... yeah, I'm ready."
As Dash walked down the hall toward examination, she couldn't resist turning around to look one final time into Fluttershy's room. The group was now gathered around Fluttershy's bed, but sensing Dash watching, Twilight turned toward the door. They locked eyes, Dash putting all of her thanks into this final stare. Twilight smiled and nodded in response. A few seconds later, and Rainbow had turned the corner and was out of sight.
"Thanks, Twi," Dash murmured.
"What was that, Rainbow?" Redheart asked concernedly.
"What? Oh... nothing." But for the first time that day, Rainbow Dash was able to hold her head high.
"Ahem."
Fluttershy was hovering in midair, both physically and emotionally healed after her traumatic experience several weeks prior. Her bright turquoise eyes were scanning the sky above her expectantly, her wings just beginning to slow down from the flurry of dealing with the last airspace offender. She started slightly at the sharp cough, and glanced downward questioningly.
Rainbow Dash, who had finished her quadrant some time ago and was now reclining upon a soft tuft of grass, grinned and pointed with her hoof. Her intense magenta eyes held silent mirth as she spoke.
"You missed a spot."
Fluttershy followed Dash's pointing hoof to the far northeast corner of her quadrant, where several large fluffy clouds still gathered, threatening to cast a shadow over the perfect sunny afternoon. Her wings fluttered faster in readiness, and she shot Dash a quick salute. "I'm on it!" she replied in a remarkably confident, Dash-like tone, taking off to deal with the rogue agents.
Dash lay back, hooves behind her head, and relaxed in the warm sun. Should have brought my shades. She watched Fluttershy chasing the last few clouds back and forth, and reflected.
Rainbow had expected Fluttershy to be further emotionally scarred after the accident, and half expected her to give up flying altogether. She had been surprised. If anything, Fluttershy was driven further by her ordeal. As soon as she was sufficiently recovered, she had wasted no time in talking to Dash about resuming the lessons. Which was just fine by Rainbow. Celestia knows I can't back down from a challenge, either.
"Actually, Rainbow, I'm pretty sure just about everypony knows that."
Dash looked over her shoulder languidly and shot Twilight a welcoming grin. "Was that out loud?"
"Sort of."
Dash nodded. "Good. I was afraid you were pulling that telepathy thing again." She shuddered.
A teasing grin played around Twilight's mouth. "Trust me, Dash... your head is the last place I want to be."
Rainbow Dash snorted once and pretended to be hurt. Twilight turned her attention to the yellow blur overhead. "What's this about?"
The multihued pegasus looked up. "Helping me with weather patrol duty. She's still really eager to train, and I'm a few guys short this week, so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone." She winced, glancing up anxiously to see if Fluttershy had heard the cliché; fortunately she was completely occupied with breaking up an immense cumulus. "To be honest, I don't think there's a whole lot more I can do for her."
Twilight nodded. "Glad to see she's fully recovered." She shot Dash a sideways look. "How about you?"
Rainbow kept her eyes on the yellow pegasus as she attempted to sidestep the question. "Just a twinge, that's about it. Should be back to a hundred percent in time to tryout for the Wonderbolts this summer."
Twi didn't bite. "You know what I mean. How are you handling... you know?"
Now Dash wished more than ever for her shades. She pretended to take in the skyscape, instead replaying the meeting with her parents in her mind.
********************
Dash was petrified, taking that first step into Sugarcube Corner with her friends, seeing them sitting together at the table. Their backs were to the entrance; they hadn't spotted Rainbow Dash yet. That would have been more than enough reason for her to cut and run, if it weren't for five pairs of hooves supporting her, encouraging her to move forward, assuring her that everything would be all right.
Dazedly, the bakery spinning around her, Dash stumbled up to the table as if in slow motion, only managing to give a croak of recognition. Her parents turned as one; they and Dash simply stared at each other for several seconds, as if merely the sight of each other could make up for lost time. Pale Feather finally made the first move, bolting up from her chair and enveloping her daughter in a crushing hug that seemed to last forever. Rainbow Dash held her mom close, if only to postpone the dreaded moment for just a few seconds longer.
Finally Pale's sobs quieted, and Dash knew she couldn't wait any longer. She released her mother with a slightly forced smile, as the voice in her chest began to scream. Damn it, Rainbow, are you CRAZY? That's your dad right there, get the buck out of here!
Empowered by the five friends standing loyally at her back, Dash grit her teeth and fought the traitorous voice down. Exerting all of her physical and mental strength, she woodenly turned to face her demon, her bane, her... father.
Rainbow extended a hoof, unable to keep a nervous tremor out of her voice. "Dad."
Lightning Storm merely stared at Dash's outstretched hoof for several seconds, his face betraying no hint of his thoughts. Rainbow Dash felt her heart sink, and she lowered her hoof and began to turn away.
Only to be seized roughly from the side and dragged back toward her father. Dash pushed through a wave of panic as she prepared to defend herself.
Wait... Dash opened her eyes. Lightning Storm was clutching his long-lost daughter close with both hooves and wings, tears pouring from his eyes as he freely wept in gratitude.
"Dashie... oh my little Dashie. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've cried myself to sleep every night for the last two years, killing myself for what I did to you." He clasped his daughter's head to his chest. "I love you... so, so much."
They embraced for close to two minutes, until Lightning finally let his daughter go. Rainbow Dash immediately rose to her feet and looked her father in the eye, her voice gone deadly serious.
"So do you still think I'm a failure, or what?"
Lightning lowered his ears, staring at the floor as he took a step back. Twilight was struck by how exactly father and daughter mirrored each other's mannerisms. Lightning's voice cracked as he started to speak.
"Dashie. I made the biggest mistake of my life. Your friend Fluttershy was transported back to Cloudsdale briefly the week after... you left... and she came by and set me straight. She actually saw it happen. Rainbow, it's still absolutely unthinkable to me; I have no idea how you did it, but you did it. I was terribly wrong to doubt you so quickly, Dash. I'm so sorry."
Rainbow blinked. Lightning continued. "And the Young Flier's Competition? Your mother and I were there. I had decided to take her as a surprise, after she stopped... you know... hating my guts for what I'd done." The graying pegasus took a long breath, gritting his teeth. Again the uncanny resemblance struck Dash's friends. "We lived apart for a while, you know. I'm not sure if you knew that. It was almost a year, while your mother... decided if she would be able to forgive me." Lightning paused, until Dash nodded for him to proceed.
"Anyway, to see you almost all grown up, so brave, so committed to your friend..." The former Wonderbolt hung his head in shame. Rarity bit her lip. "I could never have done what you did, Rainbow. To give up my one chance at fame... I just don't know. I would have hesitated. And then to actually see a sonic rainboom on top of that..." Lightning's eyes filled with tears. "It reminded me of just how proud of you I was, Rainbow. And am." He coughed hoarsely.
"So no, my Dashie. You are anything but a failure. If anyone is to blame for that, it's me. Dash, I can't make you forgive me, I don't even see how you could. Regardless, I want you to know that I love you, and I am so very, very proud of you." Lightning Storm seemed to run out of words, and he collapsed back into his chair, supporting his head on one hoof.
Rainbow Dash's head swam. She stared at her father without really seeing him, every fiber of her being trembling with inner conflict.
"So... so that's it, then? You think you can just mosey on down to Ponyville after two years, after everything that's happened, give me a hug and an apology, and expect everything to be okay again?" Dash's eyes were darting violently about like those of a trapped animal seeking an avenue of escape.
Lightning's eyes watered once more. "Yeah."
Dash half turned, glancing everywhere for inspiration; at the various cakes, sweets, and confections stacked against the walls, at the cheerfully gaudy streamers that Pinkie Pie had insisted be draped from the ceiling, at the concerned faces of five ponies watching her from the middle of the room. Suddenly she found her gaze inexorably held by a polished wood display case, mounted high on the wall above the front door. A golden jeweled necklace was sparkling through its glass lid, a hoof-cut morganite balloon mounted flawlessly at its center.
Rainbow's eyes shifted from the Element to the five bearers still silently watching her, then down to herself. Dash pictured her own Element hanging from her neck, imagining the facets of its flawless ruby lightning bolt shooting darts of brilliant red light around the room. She let her vision fall upon a matching lightning bolt, shining on her father's right flank.
At what point did loyalty die?
Rainbow Dash blinked resolutely. She strode confidently up to Lightning Storm, who lifted his head to gaze hopefully at his daughter.
"That's great, Dad." Dash finally smiled. "Because you're right."
********************
"DASHIE! Anypony awake in there?"
Rainbow jumped. Twilight's face wore a mix of concern and amusement.
Dash smiled in honest joy, a single teardrop threatening to fall. "I'm doing great," she finally answered, meaning every word. She drank in the view above her contentedly, her falconlike vision locking on to a slight movement in the upper atmosphere.
Twilight smiled back in genuine relief. "That's wonderful to hear. I'm really excited for both of you."
"Yeah. Thanks, Twi." Dash was only half listening. Her eyes continued to track something invisible, and were starting to glow with a bit of a challenge. Twilight recognized the look well. "What..."
"Excuse me for a moment." Dash suddenly bolted upright and shot off towards the sky. Twilight just shook her head helplessly. She now saw what had attracted Rainbow's attention. A new cloud had entered Fluttershy's sector; it was tiny, no bigger than Rainbow herself, but floated very high, almost out of sight of even Twi's sharp eyes.
Fluttershy had finished despatching the renegade clouds in her immediate area. She looked down for Dash's approval, but saw her streaking upwards instead. Fluttershy followed her intended course with her eyes, and picked up Dash's fluffy target. She smiled, a bit roguishly, and moved to intercept.
Dash spotted the move and grinned. That's my girl. She redoubled her efforts, gaining on Fluttershy, but only slowly. Fluttershy had her eyes wide open, fixed on her target. With no mocking chants to disrupt her, she hurtled toward the goal as Dash slowly but surely closed the distance.
The two were only a few strokes away now, front hooves fully outstretched and neck and neck.
Without warning, the cloud burst into nothingness before their eyes.
The pair fluttered to a halt, and looked around, startled. Fluttershy pointed. A familiar gray, blond-maned pony was leaving the aftermath with an erratic, unelegant flight pattern they knew well. A saddlebag was secured to her flanks; Dash could see that it was stuffed full of Mrs. Cake's latest batch of fresh blueberry muffins. Derpy chomped into one as she flapped away, oblivious to the debacle she had caused in her wake.
Dash looked sidewise at Fluttershy. "Hungry?"
Fluttershy smiled quietly. "I guess I could eat."
Rainbow chuckled. "Round two?"
"Promise to share with everypony, no matter who wins?"
"You bet. On your mark, get set... go!"
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash tore away together in pursuit of the treat-laden pony. Derpy looked behind her at the two, side by side and growing closer. She giggled and shot off. She certainly wasn't going to make it too easy on them.
THE END
