Pinkie's Diary

by BeefPie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3445

The tale of Pinkie and her split-personality, and how her friends try to help.

Pinkie decides to reveal her past to Twilight - her tough, unfriendly past.

Twilight decides to tell Pinkie/her own friends about it, to attempt to help Pinkie.

NUTSHELL:
Pinkie discusses her problematic past. Twilight tries to help by comforting her etc. Rota is introduced between Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight.

Published 2012-05-12 08:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-12 08:04:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Pinkie was bounding through Ponyville's fields - again. She often went through them all, just to feel the straw through her hair and the wind blow. The silence - unblemished by civilisation. She often found herself lying on the hill, just past the 4th meadow, under the big oak tree. Pinkie would just lie there, under the setting sun, relaxing as much as anypony possibly could. She often found herself pondering things - normally surprisingly philosophical for Pinkie. The day before, it was about the sky, and the night stars. What were they? Why were they there? She kept track of her thinkings in a small, white notebook. A simple floral pattern lay across the front cover, with the words 'Pinkie's Diary' sprawled across it. The first few pages were scribblings and drawings of the sunset and Canterlot in the distance. After that, they became an alternating pattern of drawings and writing. Unknown to everypony else, this diary was where Pinkie trapped her emotions and feelings, along with records of what she had done that day. Today though, she asked herself the inevitable.
What was romance? Why were Rarity and Fluttershy so into it?

Chapter 1: Research
The sun set slowly behind the silhouette of Manehattan. Pinkie adored sunsets - they gave her the time to think and admire. Tonight, the wispy clouds were few in number, backed by a pale blue sky which faded to orange towards the sunset. The wind was gentle, enough to cool you but not enough to make you feel cold. The grass swayed around her, on the 4th meadow's hill. She had to ask herself whether there was anything better in life. This beat continuous cupcake baking any day! The hill was her secret, her reclusive space. One day, she hoped to share it with somepony she cared about. She drifted off under the oak tree, with whistling birds and the faint swaying sound of straw in her ears.

*chirp, chirp*
Pinkie rolled over away from the rising sun and rubbed her eyes. Judging by the sun's position, she awoke at 10 o'clock. Mrs Cake was probably waiting for her. Despite the circumstances, Pinkie didn't rush and slowly sat up against the tree. Today was Saturday - nopony wanted cakes on a Saturday. Besides, if you are already late, does being any later make any difference? Probably, but not in her line of work. A squirrel scuttled by in front of her, giving her a quick glance before rushing up the tree into a hole above her head. She got up and peered inside - a squirrel family. After her thoughts last night, this hit home. The couple looked so happy together, sharing food and looking after their child. Pinkie staggered back, almost dazed. No wonder Fluttershy liked animals... She shook the thoughts from her head and turned around to face the meadow. Today, she would work super hard and leave early. Then, she would sort something out.

*ring, ring*
The door chimed as Pinkie walked into Sugarcube Corner.
"Hi, Mrs Cake!"
"Oh, Pinkie! It's not like you to not sleep in your apartment!"
"Yeah... Long story."
"Well, I am not too interested right now. Another time? I need a batch of 'special mix cupcakes' pronto!"
"Yes ma'am!" Pinkie made a mock salute and ran into the kitchen. The babies were at the side of the room, playing around with their toys. Pinkie staggered again.
"No! Pinkamena Diane Pie! Pull yourself together!" she stood up straighter and began her work. Eggs, flour, milk. Chocolate, sugar, more sugar. Whisking, mixing and baking. The same old routine, every day. Pinkie wondered whether she interpreted her cutie mark wrong... It wasn't a cupcake after all. Maybe she should run a party business! She could organise parties AND get paid! Bouncy castles, sweets, DJ decks, music! So awesome! But to run a company she needed help. But that meant needing somepony... Pinkie almost staggered again, but caught hold of the counter. She fell onto her haunches and held her head in her hooves. She couldn't work like this! Mr Cake walked in to retrieve his children, only to walk in on Pinkie having a breakdown.
"A-are you okay?"
"*sniff* I'm fine... Just having a tough time right now. I'll be ok."
"Well, okay. But if you need help or support I'm here for you."
"Thanks, Mr Cake. I might have to take you up on that."
"That bad, huh? You're in your prime! Don't let things slow you down! Take the day off. Talk to your friends, get counselling. Do something. Living in pain or grief isn't living at all. I would know."
"I guess you're right... Thanks Mr Cake." Pinkie got up and hugged him, and headed outside.

The weather today was exactly the same as last night - warm, cool breeze, slight humid tang to the air and clear skies. Pinkie headed straight off to Fluttershy's house. If anypony was able to aid her, it would be the Element of Kindness. Fluttershy's tree was within visible distance, about 10 minutes walk away. Ever since the royal wedding and Canterlot's boom with its economy, Ponyville has doubled in size. New ponies walk in everyday, making Pinkie very happy. Meet, greet, make friends, smile. Simple! Pinkie was aware that her 10 minute walk was going to lead to her asking questions again, so she tried to stop off at different places along the route. Market stalls, shops, the school and the bridge. The bridge had always had a special meaning to Pinkie, which nopony else had. She was brought up on a rock farm... With extremely un-fun parents. Once she started throwing parties every day, they essentially disowned her. They just left her one day on the farm to fend for herself, at Sweetie Belle's age. She had no chance. She left the farm and attempted to head towards civilisation - Ponyville. It was on the other side of a river, that happened to lead from the dam to the town. Upon trying to climb across the river at its thinnest point, she slipped and fell in. She was forced by current towards Ponyville's centre, under the bridge. She emerged on the other side on the bank. There, an older couple found her washed up. She was brought up by them until they too disappeared. Pinkie began to lose hope, and began to walk the streets of Ponyville. It was on one of these days that she discovered the hill in the 4th meadow. It was just the right amount of shaded, clear and sunny. Mrs and Mr Cake found her one night outside their shop, and took her in. They sheltered her - and here she is today. Pinkie owed them everything, yet they continued to give. She began to think she would be indebted her whole life! Without realising, Pinkie's re-accounting of these events in her head made time pass quickly, and she was at Fluttershy's door.

"Oh... Okay then!" Pinkie bounded off away from Fluttershy's house. She was busy with sick animals, and she said Pinkie should come back later. Everypony seemed to say something similar! Strange... Pinkie decided to try the next most helpful pony - Twilight! She only lived a few houses away, so getting there wasn't hard. Twilight would help, even if she didn't want to today! She had books, free time and was eager to help her friends. Pinkie approached Twilight's door.
"Hi Pinkie!" Spike called from above. He was on a ladder, about 20 feet up... Cleaning windows?
"Hi Spike! Is Twilight in today?"
"Yeah, she's having some emotional problems. She would probably like to see you!" Spike tried to repress a giggle.
"Oh, okay! Thanks Spike!" Pinkie opened the door and went in. Spike burst into laughter.

Twilight was upstairs, on her bed. She was seemingly upset, maybe Spike was right. She had closed the curtains and was sitting there writing.
"Pinkie! What are you doing here?" Twilight snapped up her book.
"Spike said you were upset. I came to see you... And so am I."
"Oh, Pinkie." Twilight put her book on the bedside table and went over to Pinkie. "I'm pretty sure you are in a better state than I am!"
"No... I-I can't look at children! Couples! Families! It hurts!" Pinkie clutched her head and curled up into a ball, a bit too small - even for Pinkie!
"Oh... Why? Do you have-"
"I NEED somepony. I'm so lonely, all the time. That's why I throw parties! To get friends! To see ponies! But once it's over..."
"Oh Pinkie! That's terrible! Why didn't you say something!" Twilight had started combing Pinkie's hair with her brush.
"I... I couldn't. I held myself back. Twilight... Come with me. I need to show you something. Go to Sugarcube Corner at 7 o'clock. If you want to help... You'd go." Pinkie uncurled herself and got up. "Please." Pinkie walked out.
"Wow... I never knew Pinkie was so... Troubled. Maybe it's her split personality or something..."

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Further Research
*ring, ring*
"Mrs Cake?"
"Oh, Twilight. You're here. I assume you are here for Pinkie?" Twilight nodded. "She's upstairs... In her room. As she has been. For 3 hours."
"Yeah... I'll go check on her." Twilight went left though the door and up the stairs. A light sobbing came through the door at the top.
"Pinkie..." Twilight leaned towards the door. A light rustling came from inside, and Pinkie opened the door. She fell into Twilight's arms and started crying harder.
"Oh Twilight! I'm a wreck!" Pinkie looked up at Twilight's face, tears streaming down hers.
"Pinkie... C'mon. Show me what you wanted to."
"Really?"
"Yes, Pinkie. Let's go."

"Pinkie... I don't want to seem pushy or anything - but where are you taking me?"
"We're almost there." Pinkie was running through the straw, holding Twilight's hand. The straw rushed past their heads, brushing their manes. The sun was lowering, casting an orange filter over the otherwise blue sky. They entered the 4th meadow, the hill now in sight.
"Oh. Oh! OH! I see, Pinkie! I know what we're doing!" Twilight started to grin. This was going to be a good sunset. They went up the slightly elevated hill and lay down under the tree.
"Twilight... Over there, that farmhouse. The old looking abandoned one..."
"Yes... The one next to the river? Going through the 3rd meadow?"
"Yes. I've never told anypony this before." Twilight sat up slightly, to get a better view.
"That farm... I was brought up there. I was abandoned..."
"Oh my gosh! Pinkie! Why didn't you say anything?"
"It was ages ago... I'm past it. But this spot has a special meaning to me. The river was what led me into Ponyville. Then my adoptees left me as well..."
"Wow... You've had a hard life." Twilight and Pinkie sat up against the tree. Twilight reached over a comforting hand to Pinkie's shoulder. Pinkie looked at her... And smiled. She then broke down and collapsed down into Twilight's lap. Twilight squirmed with nervousness, but tried to comfort her. The sun started to set, casting a silhouette of Manehattan over the sun.
"Wow." Twilight stared in disbelief. It was beautiful. Twilight looked back down at Pinkie, who had fallen asleep and had started gently... Purring? Twilight smiled and watched the sun go down, the gentle breeze lulling her to sleep.

*squeak!*
Twilight awoke with a start. The sun was up, at roughly 8 in the morning. Her studies of the stars really helped her in numerous occasions. Pinkie was still asleep, resting in Twilight's lap. Twilight looked around for whatever squeaked and woke her up - and saw Fluttershy in the branches above.
"What the- Fluttershy! What are to doing?!" Twilight angrily whispered, trying not to wake Pinkie.
"Mr Squirrel was stuck up top." At the mention of a squirrel she hovered down from the branch and shoved a squirrel in Twilight's face. Fluttershy looked down at Pinkie and blushed. "Erm... Twilight. There's.... Somepony on your lap."
"Yes! I know! Well done, Fluttershy!" Twilight sarcastically whispered.
"Sorry... I'll leave you two to... Er... Whatever you're doing." Fluttershy blushed a bit more and flew off with a squirrel on her head. At the sound of rustling leaves, Pinkie murmured and rolled over, onto her back. She was asleep... Face up. Her face was in direct view of Twilight. Twilight never got much closer to Pinkie, than 10 feet away before. She was strangely young looking... A filly. Her frazzled mane in its signature shape on her head-
*Wooosh*
Before Twilight could do anymore, Rainbow Dash flew past at 300 miles per hour, rustling the tree. She pulled back to a stop and reversed back to the tree. She saw Twilight's nervous and awkward face and tried to hold back a laugh.
"*giggle* Twilight... I don't even want to know what happened last night."
"Rainbow! You have a sick mind! I was simply comforting a... Slightly unstable pony!"
"Oh, sorry Dr Sparkle!" Rainbow burst out laughing and fell to the floor. She rolled downhill into the straw, and flew straight up out of it.
"Oh oh! I know! Let me swap places with you! When she wakes up-"
"Rainbow! That's horrible and cruel! She isn't having a good time at the moment, and you want to give her more mental instability?!"
"Erm... No? It'll be fun! She'll see the fun side!"
"Rainbow... No."
"Fine... Killjoy." Rainbow trailed off. "Bye then!" the rainbow pegasus flew off into the sparse clouds. Pinkie begun to stir and opened her eyes.
"Thank you... Twilight. You've given me what no other pony could." Pinkie got up, brushed herself down and hugged Twilight. Twilight didn't know what to do, so just patted her on the back. Pinkie pulled back, smiled, and went on her way through the 4th meadow, towards Ponyville. Twilight just sat up against the tree, dazed as well as confused. What had actually happened, these past 12 hours? Twilight shook herself free of her thoughts and got up, her haunches aching. Sleeping upright was another thing NOT to do again. She looked around - Ponyville, trees, the meadows, the fields, Canterlot and the sky. And a small notebook lying on the floor, decorated with a simple floral pattern.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Investigation
The pages went on and on. Drawing after drawing. Emotion after emotion. Pinkie had clearly kept this book for a long time... Long enough to depict her in the river, being pulled by the current on the 2nd page. Every page brought questions and different emotions into Twilight. Sadness, sorrow, happiness, deceit and mystery. Why? What happened? Who? It didn't end. Twilight decided to take it with her. Carrying the notebook with her magic in front of her, Twilight too wandered off into the 4th meadow.

"Oh... My."
"I know! It's crazy! I couldn't believe it either!"
"I didn't expect that at all!" Fluttershy commented again on Rarity's story. Their routine spa treatment ended an hour ago. Now, the duo were sitting at Ponyville Cafe, sipping at coffees and nibbling at muffins.
"Yes, well. You can't expect everything, darling!"
"Oh... Is that, um, Twilight? Over by that house." Flutterhy gestured across the street to Lyra's house, behind Rarity. Twilight was walking past, engrossed in a small book.
"Well, I can't say this is a first! She is a librarian, after all!"
"No. I mean, maybe. But, I mean. She's reading a small, um, book! Twilight doesn't read small books! Or small pink ones!"
"You're right! Well done for spotting that, Fluttershy!" Fluttershy blushed at Rarity's comment. "Why are you blushing?! Its a compliment, darling!" Fluttershy went a darker shade of red. "Never mind. Lets go see Twilight."
"Oh no! I haven't finished my muffin, Rarity!"
"I'll get her over here then!" Rarity spun around to Twilight and shouted. "Twilight! Yoo-hoo! Over here!" Twilight turned her head right, to see Rarity vigorously waving at her, with Fluttershy hiding behind her mane. She decided to be more civilised than Rarity and go over, rather than shouting.
"Hi girls! How's things?"
"Fine, fine. How's your new book?"
"Oh this? This isn't a book. It's, uh... Pinkie's diary."
"Darling! You simply mustn't go through other ponies possessions!"
"No no! This is different! She left it after... Never mind. This diary... It's so powerful."
"I hope you mean emotionally..."
"Of course Rarity! I'm not criticising Pinkie you know!"
"Of course, of course. Go on."
"Pinkie had a very troubled childhood."
"Really?" Rarity sarcastically commented, then realised she was being mean and hung her head in shame.
"Yes. I spent last night comforting her after she broke down."
"How kind!" Fluttershy perked up. "Caring for other ponies is great, isn't it?"
"Actually... I don't know. I think that she thinks we're onto something. She's hard work! I cant do it everyday!"
"You don't need to! We can have a rota. It's better than her crying herself to sleep in a field somewhere."
"Element of Kindness!" Rarity smiled at Fluttershy, who probably misinterpreted it and started blushing again.
"You know what... Fine. We'll do that!"

"Spike! I'm home."
"Where were you?"
"What?"
"You know what I mean..." Spike staggered out of the stairwell, clearly having not slept at all. "Rainbow told me all about your one night stand with Pinkie!"
"I, but I... What?! I am NOT in a relationship with a pink, sugar coated pony who lives in a cake!"
"Sure, sure." Spike went quite, then dived to his knees. "Please! Don't leave me again! I can't sleep without anypony else here! Don't tell Rarity! She'll think I'm a baby!"
"You are a baby dragon?"
"Shut up! I'm not a baby. I'm just small-"
"Wingless and weak."
"Shut up, Twilight! Sheesh. Cut me some slack. I prepared my own breakfast!"
"*sigh* well done, Spike. I'm not really bothered. I need to read this." Spike proceeded to curse under his breath as Twilight trekked upstairs to her room. She jumped onto her bed, adjusted the curtains and begun reading... Or looking. The drawings still evoked some many feelings in her. Pinkie really deserved help and special treatment. If she lived the rest of her life like this... The rota would have to happen.

Chapter 4 - WIP

Chapter 4: Rota
"Fluttershy! You're first. Tonight. 7pm. Sugarcube Corner. She may lead you off to the fields - just go along with it. Just for her."
"Okay..."
"Rarity. You're tomorrow. Then me... Again. We'll see whether to continue after we've all done it once."
"Twilight..." Rarity cut off to sip at her coffee. "It's 3pm. We are at Ponyville's finest cafe... Again! Can't we just relax?"
"Urgh, fine. Just don't forget your timings." Twilight got up and left the table. She walked off towards her house.
"Honestly, darling. Librarians!" Fluttershy was too worried about tonight to even notice Rarity's 'joke'.
"Wha- yeah. I guess..."
"Fluttershy! Relax! It's only a few hours with a overly energetic bipolar pony who also... Maybe you're right. Why are we doing this?"
"Because she's a friend?"
"Of course, of course." Rarity cursed and went back to sipping her coffee. She had big orders coming up - the last thing she needed was more stress.

*ring, ring*
"Hi, um, Mrs Cake."
"Fluttershy! Come in. I assume you're here for Pinkie?"
"I think so..."
"Well, don't just stand there in the doorway! Come in! Do whatever you're planning to do."
"Erm... Okay." Fluttershy gently closed the door behind her, and hovered up to Pinkie's room. The door was shut, and it was silent inside. Fluttershy's worst nightmare.
"Maybe I can just say nopony was her-"
"Fluttershy!" Pinkie flung the door open and jumped into Fluttershy's face. Fluttershy squeaked in surprise.
"Hi, um, Pinkie."
"Hi! Hai! Hola! Hello! What are you here for?" Pinkie grinned at Fluttershy, hopefully not in a suggestive way of any kind.
"I'm here to... Do whatever Twilight did the other night?"
"Awesome! Get your coat on, we're going out!"
"Wha-" Before Fluttershy could finish a pink arm had grabbed her and hauled her downstairs - and out the doors. Fluttershy opened her eyes to a mild breeze and a soon-to-set sun.
"Um, Pinkie. What are we doing?"
"What Twilight did!"
"Which is?" Fluttershy was hovering now, being pulled along by Pinkie like a balloon.
"Sunset! Can't beat a sunset! Especially from my special spot!"
"Oh... I saw Twilight there earlier." Fluttershy blushed, remembering the couple asleep on the hill.
"Yep! We're going to do that!" Pinkie grinned some more as she hauled an extremely nervous yellow pegasus through the straw.