Chapter 1
A Chaotic Summoning
"Bored..."
A tree was seen hanging upside down beneath a cliff, the leaves lightly rustling as a breeze passed through it. The breeze grew intense as a large wind passed through the canyon. It was just another typical day in Ghastly Gorge.
"Bored..."
The one individual currently spending time there, in the same tree that stood out from the rest, was busy complaining about the lack of activity not only in Ghastly Gorge, but in himself.
"Bored..."
The more he spent time lazing about in the tree with a look of extreme boredom on his face, the more he vocalized the obvious in a futile attempt to dull out the metaphorical pain he was feeling.
"Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored!!"
Discord's displeasure echoed through the canyon, surprisingly not waking any quarry eels from their nests. He groaned to himself when he realized his methodic mantra did nothing to ease his situation in the slightest. He never realized how boring it was for him and his friends ever since they took care of Tirek a couple of months ago. He was especially offended that Twilight went to that other dimension and didn't even invite him along.
"This injustice must be corrected." Discord said to himself "Nopony should ever be this bored in their lifetime, and I'm only part pony! Something must be done...but what?" The draconequus asked himself in an uncharacteristically serious tone as he stroked his goatee in thought.
In truth, he had a selective plethora of ways to ease his boredom, but the problem was that he did them all himself millennia ago, and Discord was never a fan of doing the same thing twice despite the large time gap. If he didn't do something to ease boredom soon, it would actually take form and eat away at his very being, thereby forcing him to take shape as his own refuse.
"Oh, I'll bet nobody in the multiverse understands the obvious pain I'm feeling." Discord paused before he perked up with widened eyes, a chicken's clucking being heard from his sudden reaction "Wait a minute. That's it!" Discord grinned ear-to-ear when an idea literally sprang into his mind on a pogostick. He rubbed his claws together as he hung upside down and donned a devious face akin to before his reformation.
"All I need to do is scrounge up some personal mementos, make sure that everything goes according to plan, and it'll be glorious! There's no chaos like organized chaos!" Discord said to himself gleefully as he went to teleport away. A roar was heard, and he looked down below to see what appeared to be an annoyed quarry eel leering up at him.
"Oh clam it, I was going to take my leave anyway." Discord said to the eel before snapping his talons and disappearing in the flash of light, along with the tree. The eel rolled its eyes before retreating back into its nest.
_____
At the town of Ponyville, specifically in the new (and very lurid) castle, princess of friendship Twilight Sparkle sat in her throne, currently reading a romance novel to herself. She had forgotten how alluring they were to her, even if they had reminded her of her own very complicated love life. Or if she could even call it that.
Content with both the silence and the solitude that permeated her new home, Twilight continued reading on, finding herself captivated with a passage involving a dance scene where the stallion confesses his love to the mare he loves.
"Twilight! Twilight!"
Twilight couldn't be more irritated that her own assistant had to interrupt her reading; and at the good part, no less! She noticed a purple dragon running up to her, catching his breath when he stopped in front of her.
"Spike, what's wrong? Is something going on in Ponyville?" Twilight asked. It was then she noticed a scroll in his claws "Oh. You were wanting to give me that scroll?" Her horn lit up, and she used her magic to levitate the scroll out of Spike's grasp as she unraveled it and read its contents to herself. Her eyes squinted as she read on before craning her head back "It's from Discord. What could he be up to this time?"
wilight and Spike shared a look before they chorused a 'Nah!'
"Well, we don't have much to do, so maybe I'll humor him with this audience before going back to my reading." She rose from her throne and placed her book on the left hoofrest before she chose to exit "You wanna come along, Spike?"
"Sure. I wanna see what Discord's up to myself. Hopefully not something too crazy for us to handle." Spike said as he followed Twilight. He then donned a look of confusion "Say, where are we going anyway?" Spike asked. Twilight looked back at the purple dragon.
"Canterlot Castle. Apparently whatever he's planning must be something big."
_____
Sugarcube Corner was bustling with more activity than usual today. Customers young and old would find themselves in and out of the shop after purchasing the Cakes' sweets while they had their Super Special Sweetness Sale. The one behind the idea was giving it her all at the cash register while the Cakes were busy baking like there was no tomorrow.
"Alright, here's your scrumptious cupcakes! Oh! And I can't forget your order of donuts! One bag of cookies for you!" Pinkie Pie said to three customers as she quickly presented them their desired foods while they paid her their bits. Pinkie grinned to herself at the unnaturally fast progress she was making before looking back at the kitchen "Isn't this great, Mr. and Mrs. Cake? Our Super Special Sweetness Sale is really taking off!"
Both owners of Sugarcube Corner trotted out into the main lobby with trays of cookies and cupcakes in their mouthes. Carefully setting them in the glass display case, they then looked up at Pinkie.
"Pinkie," Carrot Cake, the tall and lanky orange stallion said with a tired smile "While I am satisfied with this idea of yours and how much we've made today, I'm afraid it'll end up having us running ragged."
"I'm afraid Carrot's right, dear." Cup Cake, Carrot's short and portly blue wife added "Ever since your idea took off this morning, it really took a lot out of us. It would be bad for business if we found ourselves serving our customers while on the verge of passing out." Pinkie frowned for a moment and looked down in embarrassment.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you guys. I guess I forgotten that we're the only three working here." Pinkie looked over at the lobby to see that a hooded pony made their way inside "Well, at least there's only one customer at a moment and not a baker's dozen. I'll take care of it!" Pinkie approached the end of her counter with a winning smile "Welcome to Sugarcube Corner. Would you like anything?"
The hooded pony froze in their position before it began to ascend to reveal a serpentine shape underneath, the cloak falling to the floor to reveal a smirking Discord.
"I'll have one Pinkie Pie to go, please!" Without hesitation, Discord snatched a surprised Pinkie Pie, startling the Cakes as he winked out of existence.
"Did Discord just run off with Pinkie again?" Carrot Cake asked his wife.
"Yes." Cup Cake said with a tired sigh "Yes he did. At least it wasn't her intention this time."
"Which means we're going to be left behind to deal with another possible wave of customers...again." Carrot groaned.
"We can power through this, honeybun." Cup Cake said as she briefly nuzzled Carrot's neck "At least until one of us drops, then we'll have a reason to close the shop for the day."
_____
An apple tree was seen bearing the most luscious fruit before it was struck, shaking before the apples began to drop from the branches and into two wooden baskets. Applejack smiled to herself at the progress she was making on her farm. She then picked up some of the apples that didn't make onto the baskets and placed them in there before moving onto the next tree.
After positioning some empty buckets over by the next tree, she faced away from the bark and reared up her hindlegs before giving the tree a good buck, getting the same results from the previous tree with a smile on her face.
It was when she went to pick up some stray apples that she noticed one different one out of the bunch: A bright golden apple as if it belonged in Celestia's royal garden. She picked it up with a hoof and examined it.
"That's weird. Ah don't remember there bein' a golden apple 'round this area." She said to herself before sniffing at it "It ain't even painted. Who did this?" It was at that moment that the apple began to shine brightly before floating out of Applejack's hoof. After giving itself a wide berth, the apple took shape in what appeared to be Discord covered in gold.
"Thank you for choosing Acutely Packaged Pandemonium Letter Exchange! Would you like to hear the message stored?" The golden Discord asked politely.
Applejack wasn't all too happy to see that she was now involved in another one of Discord's crazy antics. She just wanted to go about her day in peace, trying to harvest today's crops before the sun goes down. Taking a deep breath, she faced the golden draconequus with narrowed eyes.
"Alright, let's hear it." She responded neutrally.
"Your presence is required at Canterlot Castle post haste! The great Discord, as well as the princesses, wish to have a word with you!" Applejack's expression softened.
"Th' princesses wanna see me? Is it a personal matter?" The farmpony asked inquisitively "Do my friends know about this?"
"The friends of Applejack," The golden Discord said Applejack's name in a monotonous tone "are sure to follow as well. Would you accept this invitation?"
"Well, if this meetin' involves th' princesses, Ah don't see a reason t' decline. Ah'll have t' consult with my family b'fore Ah leave, though." Applejack replied evenly, making the golden Discord grin.
"Splendid! Thank you once again for choosin Acutely Packaged Pandemonium Letter Exchange. See you soon!" The opulent copy then vanished in a flash of light, leaving Applejack to roll her eyes at the display before tending to the rest of her work and letting her family know about her plans.
_____
In the skies of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash was seen napping on a cloud, snoring contently as she was curled up in a comfortable resting position. Nothing could possibly interrupt her scheduled napping. That was, until an air horn was seen floating up into the air and near Rainbow Dash's right ear, which twitched while she was sleeping.
Any thoughts of comfort were swept away by the powerful gust provided by the air horn as Rainbow Dash sprung awake, her teeth gritted from the horn's volume. She rubbed her ears while glaring at the air horn before it transformed into a wooden sign
"Feeling bored?"
"No, since I was sleeping!" Rainbow Dash snapped irritably, still sore about being woke up in one of the worst ways possible. She watched how the words on the sign melded into a different sentence.
"Looking for something both extreme and fun?"
Rainbow Dash's irritation lessened upon the presented question. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know where this impromptu questionnaire was going.
"Uh, well, that's usually what I'm all about, but what's the catch?" Rainbow Dash asked the sign as if it were another pony. The words began to meld into yet another sentence.
"If both questions apply to you, fly on over to Canterlot Castle on the double!"
"All the way to Canterlot? What for?" The cyan pegasus had her curiosity piqued upon the desired location she was given.
"A surprise lies in wait for you and your friends. Trust me, it's good."
"Okay, now I get the feeling there's something fishy going on here...What makes you think I'm just gonna let some crummy old sign tell me what to do?" Rainbow Dash asked, squinting her eyes at the sign. There was a pause before the sign made a convincing sentence in three simple words that took Rainbow Dash by surprise.
"Free Apple Cider."
"Works for me!" Rainbow Dash said cheerfully as she took to the skies and made a beeline towards Canterlot, leaving a prismatic blur in her wake.
_____
Carousel Boutique was a very distinguished fashion parlor that also served as the home for one of the most generous mares alive. Rarity was enjoying a cup of tea while taking a break from her work, having just finished an order for Lyra and Bon Bon to come pick up at their leisure.
She was sipping her tea when suddenly, a folded card appeared next to her meal with the words 'Join us!' written in cursive with a picture of a winking Discord under it. Being both surprised and confused by this happening, Rarity placed her teacup down with her magic and picked up the card, opening it to read a letter inside.
"Wish to make your mark on Equestria and have all your dreams come true in a heartbeat? Then stop by Canterlot for a wondrous offer!"
"Dreams coming true? Am I certain to believe that outright?" Rarity said to herself skeptically. She couldn't be bothered by spontaneous frivolities, especially when she noticed the sender's image on the front of the card. But then she noticed a bit of fine print underneath the invitation. The fashionista squinted her eyes to make it out.
"Your friends are on their way there while you're lagging behind."
"Are they now? Well, I suppose I can make the time if my friends are involved in this." Rarity pressed the card onto the table with narrowed eyes "I better not have been lured from my work just to be a victim in another prank of sorts." Rarity said as she rose from her seat and went to take care of her cup.
_____
At a cottage near the outskirts of Ponyville, several animals were frolicking here and there, getting some exercise at their new home while their caretaker watched in bliss. Fluttershy smiled to herself as she laid in the grass with her favorite pet bunny Angel resting at her side. Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy glanced up at the sun.
"Isn't this wonderful, Angel? If only everyday could be as peaceful and serene like this..." Fluttershy said warmly, while Angel simply conveyed his response by turning his body into a more comfortable position. She chuckled at her bunny's gesture before focusing back on the rest of her animals.
Sadly, her peace was disrupted by a sudden flash in front of her, as Discord appeared, startling Fluttershy as she shifted to a sitting position, causing Angel to spring upward as well.
"Discord? What are you doing here?" Fluttershy asked.
"Oh, you know. Just in the neighborhood." Discord responded nonchalantly as he rolled his eyes with feigned innocence before gazing back at Fluttershy "Say, are you busy at all?" He asked curiously. The timid pegasus looked away shyly.
"Well, not really, but-"
"Splendid! Let's go!" Discord said as he scooped up a shocked Fluttershy and teleported away, leaving Angel to hop and flail his paws angrily.
_____
The Friendship Express was nearing Canterlot, its passengers including tourists and visiting businessponies. The most notable passengers were Twilight, Spike, Applejack, and Rarity, who saw fit to converse with each other over what was waiting for them at the castle.
"I wonder what sort of crazy idea Discord planned that involved us all meeting in Canterlot." Twilight asked "Or why Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy aren't here."
"I've gathered from my personal invitation that they shall be joining us as well, so I'm just as confused as you are, darling." Rarity said, while Spike was sitting contently next to her.
"Ah got th' same message myself. Only difference was it was pretty weird." Applejack shook her head with a frown "Sendin' me a message in th' form of an apple just ain't right."
"Well, I'm confident that Rainbow Dash can be waiting for us in Canterlot, what with her being a fast flier and all, and we don't even know how Pinkie Pie would get to Canterlot without Discord's help." Twilight explained before pausing. It was a brief moment before her ears folded back as she looked annoyed "I think I just figured out how they were invited..." She deadpanned.
"I don't think we should be surprised. I mean, this is Discord we're talking about. It's hard to tell with that guy sometimes." Spike piped up.
"I only hope, for his sake, that he doesn't set us up with anything too untoward. This day has been pleasant thus far, has it not?" Rarity asked her friends.
"Well, we won't know until we get there. Let's just hope for the best if the princesses are involved." Twilight said as the train was coming to a stop, signalling their arrival into Canterlot.
_____
Rainbow Dash flew over Canterlot ecstatically and swooped down towards the castle gates, trying to formally enter the castle without causing too much of a ruckus, and passed through swiftly after the guards let her inside. Having being invited to Canterlot with the promise of free apple cider, she couldn't help but wonder what could be better.
Then a thought occurred to her: Wouldn't it have been better for her to arrive with her friends rather than to fly to Canterlot on her own? She wondered if she should have let her friends know about this. The cyan pegasus then shrugged it off, remembering that they, too, were invited as well, and figured that she was probably going to be the first one there.
"Aw man, I wonder what's gonna go down..." Rainbow Dash murmured to herself in excitement, starting to believe the weird invitation given to her "Wait...If I'm at the castle...then wouldn't the princesses be involved in this?" She made her way towards the large doors leading to the throne room and took a deep breath before opening them.
To her surprise, she not only saw Discord and both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing in the middle of the throne room, but also noticed Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy with them as well, the former of which waving her hoof frantically at Rainbow Dash in greeting.
"Wait, you two got her before me?" She asked in befuddlement.
"Yeah! Dissy just scooped Fluttershy and I away saying to wait for you and the rest of our friends!" Pinkie said with a grin.
"Oh, I hope you aren't mad about this, Rainbow Dash. I'm just as confused about all this myself..." Fluttershy said meekly.
"So wait a minute. What's the big idea? Why are we all gathered here? Where's the free apple cider I was promised?" Rainbow Dash asked, demanding answers.
"In due time, Rainbow Dash." Princess Celestia said calmly "Discord wanted us present for his explanation as well, but we'll have to wait for Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack."
"But, I am a draconequus of my word, so here's some cider to keep you occupied." Discord snapped his talons to make a flagon of cider appear in front of Rainbow Dash's eyes. She examined it cautiously before taking a slow and small sip. When she realized how delicious it was, she began to chug it fervently. Discord, for his part, chuckled at the display "I knew how much you loved cider, but perhaps you can take it easy." The doors to the throne room opened up to reveal four new guests "Ah, and here they are now. Twilight! Rarity! Applejack! Good to see you!" He then noticed how Spike glowered at him and cleared his throat "And you as well, Spike. I didn't exactly anticipate your arrival."
"He came here of his own volition, Discord. Besides, he did this for my sake." Twilight explained firmly "Speaking of, why exactly did you want us here to begin with?" With that question, the draconequus grinned eagerly as he floated into the air.
"I'm so glad you asked. You see, I was in my thinking tree again, trying to figure out the best way to ease my boredom on such a fantastic day, and one of my best ideas just so happened to have reached me." He snapped his talons as a holographic projection of what looked like outer space with several galaxies, instantly catching Twilight's interest "As some ponies may or may not know, there are several universes that contain different realities and many different living beings inside of them. It is with great pleasure that you're about to meet some of those individuals for yourself!"
"Whoa..." Spike breathed out before shaking himself out of his awe "Wait a minute, what's the catch?"
"Well, it's not so much a catch as it is a condition. You see, I've set up this game for-"
The door to the throne room opened up to reveal a guard stepping inside before bowing to the group, namely the princesses.
"Your majesties, a pony wishes to have an audience with you. Somepony by the name of 'The Great and Powerful Trixie.'" The guard explained.
"Wait, Trixie's here?" Twilight asked before smiling "I don't see why we can't see her for the moment." She flinched before smiling at Celestia and Luna in embarrassment "That is, if you two don't mind."
"Not at all, Twilight." Luna smiled warmly "I can see you're eager to catch up with an old friend." She turned to the guard and nodded to him "Send her in."
"As you wish, Princess Luna." The guard said before exiting the throne room. Meanwhile, Discord had his arms crossed as he floated in the air on his back. Applejack looked up at the draconequus after noticing his silence.
"Ain't ya gonna continue with yer explanation?" She asked expectantly.
"Well, I feel it would be inappropriate to keep another pony out of the loop." Discord said with a smirk "After all, the more the merrier."
"Just what do you mean by that exactly?" Rarity asked suspiciously as she arched an eyebrow at Discord. Before the draconequus could answer, another pony showed themself inside the throne room. An azure pony in a wizard's hat and cloak trotted up towards the group with a confident smile, although her eyes were closed.
"Greetings to you, princesses. Trixie would like to bring up an important to-" She opened her eyes to find several others staring back at her "What!?"
"Hiya, Trixie! Long time no see!" Pinkie said happily.
"Pinkie basically took the words right out of my mouth." Twilight said with a giggle."
"Trixie didn't expect to see so many ponies cooped up in the throne room." Trixie said as she craned her head back, then looked up at Discord, widening her eyes "And just what is he doing here!?" She asked with growing fear.
"Calm yourself, Trixie." Celestia said in a soothing voice "Discord has turned from his wicked ways, and will make sure not to cause any trouble towards Equestria no longer."
"Scout's honor." Discord said, placing a lion's paw on his chest and an eagle claw in the air "But, now that you're here, perhaps you'd like to participate?"
"Participate? In what?" Trixie asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"Let's just say that you shall be one of few ponies to tap into great power in the form of new friends you'll meet from beyond the stars." He faced the group below him with a grin "I gathered you all here for a game of sorts, but not just any game...This is what's known as the Holey Grail War!" The title alone was enough to catch everyone's attention.
"Holey Grail War?" Pinkie asked "Don't you mean the Holy-"
"Nonono, the Holey Grail War!" Discord quickly interrupted Pinkie with slight nervousness "And unlike the one you were about to mention, this one is entirely different." He snapped his talons and conjured an alluring grail made of platinum, although it was riddled with holes as if gunslingers used it for target practice.
"This grail serves to be not only a trophy, but a rite of passage, allowing the pony who claims it to be granted a wish by Your's Truly, along with the glory of triumph over their opponents." Discord explained "But keep in mind, you have to be very careful with what you wish for; hubris and whatnot."
"Wait a minute, you're expecting us to fight amongst ourselves over some wish?" Twilight said before narrowing her eyes "This isn't the kind of game we'd want to participate in."
"Now now, Twilight, who said anything about all of you fighting amongst yourselves?" Discord said "The new friends you make shall fight on your behalf!"
"But I don't want that at all..." Fluttershy said as she recoiled with fear "I don't want us all to fight like this."
"Discord, we should intervene on this as well." Celestia said with a frown "This kind of practice cannot be abided in Equestria, even if it is for recreational reasons."
"Hang on, sister, perhaps Discord may be onto something." Luna said before donning a thin smile "I, too, would like to see what kind of beings exist beyond the cosmos, if not for the briefest of moment.
"A wish, you say?" Trixie asked curiously, staring intently at Discord "And it could be anything at all?"
"Of course. All I want you to do is simply abide to my rules and regulations, take what I give you, and we'll go from there." Discord said with a winning smile.
"So one of us can get a wish..." Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin with a hoof pensively before she grinned "and we get to make new friends and watch them kick butt? I'm in!"
"See? Rainbow Dash wants to play." Discord said to Celestia persuasively while directing his claws towards the cyan pegasus.
"Rainbow Dash, I'm surprised at how easily you would dive into this barbaric practice!" Rarity said before she paused, then looked down "Although, that wish does sound quite inviting..." She murmured, only to notice Rainbow Dash smirking smugly at her.
"Ah dunno about this. Ah'm kinda content with my life as it is, but is a wish really worth fightin' over?" Applejack asked her friends.
"You're not alone, Applejack." Twilight said "This goes against everything we stand for."
"Trixie accepts!" The showmare proclaimed in determination "This is something anypony shouldn't simply pass up in their lifetime, and I want to see how this little game is played."
"I wanna play, too!" Pinkie grinned "I can never pass up an opportunity to make new friends, especially if they aren't from this world!"
"Well, that's three out of seven. What say the rest of you?" Discord said with a patient smile.
"A wish that could be anything..." Spike muttered to himself before facing Twilight "Twilight, I think we should go for it!" He anticipated the lavender princess staring down at him with disapproval.
"Spike, we're not going to partake in some kind of war. It's just unethical." She said firmly.
"Maybe it won't be as gruesome as it sounds." Spike countered "Discord's the one setting all of this up, remember? There could be some kind of hidden twist in all of this. I don't wanna make it feel like we came all this way for nothing."
"You should join in, Twilight." Rainbow Dash said as she hovered over Twilight "It's not every day somepony just gives you a chance like this. Like Spike said, it might not even be that big of a deal."
"Yeah!" Pinkie said as she hopped up and down with a smile "And don't you wanna make some new friends as well? Maybe we can all get along in the end!"
Twilight pursed her lips as she looked between her friends that were in agreement with this whole thing. She couldn't just go into this whole thing headfirst, knowing it could possibly blow up in her face in the long run. But she also couldn't deny the fact that she wanted to know more about different worlds beyond her own. She stifled a frustrated grunt as she continued to mull her options.
"Tick tock, Twilight." Discord said with a knowing smile.
Twilight stared at the floor in an attempt to block out Discord's taunting words and think of a proper decision. On one hoof, she has the opportunity to meet otherworldly beings and possibly gather their knowledge of their own homeworlds, but on the other hand, by agreeing to participate in the Holey Grail War, there's going to be inevitable conflict involved that may or may not affect her own home. This was too much for her.
"Tell ya what, Twilight." Applejack said as she approached her friend "Ah'm not entirely sure about this myself, but iffin' it'll help ya outta this thinkin' problem, we can participate together and try t' see where this goes. If things get too outta hoof, we'll think of a way t' end it all." Twilight looked up at Applejack in shock, and she only chuckled at the expression she earned "Ah know, it doesn't sound rational, but Discord already won over a couple o' our friends with his offer. An' it's not like we can't power through this together." Twilight stared at Applejack before she took a deep breath.
"I guess you have a point. And looking back on it, perhaps I should consider the fact that we might be meeting creatures from different universes." Twilight looked over at Discord and nodded with narrowed eyes "Alright, Discord, I accept. But I hope you don't go overboard with this possibly harebrained scheme of yours."
"Harebrained? I'm offended, Twilight..." Discord said with feigned hurt before he smiled "You'll find that this little skirmish shall be worth your while." He then looked over at Rarity and Fluttershy "And how about you two? My offer still stands..."
"Well, if Twilight and Applejack feel obligated to participate, then so shall I." Rarity held her head up "It wouldn't be right to ignore this invitation if my friends have already accepted." Rarity looked over at Fluttershy "Would you join as well, Fluttershy?"
"Umm...W-Well...I..." Fluttershy stammered nervously, not liking being the center of attention.
"If it'll make you feel better, there won't be any casualties. In fact, your friends will be sent back to their homes once this is all over." Discord offered with a winning smile.
"Well, if it won't be that bad..." Fluttershy said cautiously before she managed a smile of her own "Okay. I wouldn't mind meeting a new friend, so long as they aren't scary..."
"Splendid! Then we can finally begin with the rules!" Discord said as he snapped his talons and conjured a large parchment and reading glasses "Alright. Now before I see you all off with your respective catalysts, there will be some regulations to follow until the war has ended. First and foremost being that if a fight were to ensue, it has to be in an environment away from civilization and innocent lives respectively."
"At least you're being considerate about this." Twilight commended with a respectful nod.
"Rule numero dos is that both parties must agree to a battle before fighting, otherwise they shall be immobilized immediately. If two or more contestants wish to fight, that also must be agreed to, otherwise, any additional parties will be disqualified if they tried to enter the battle of their own accord." Discord said with a grin.
"So no ambushes then?" Rainbow Dash said, earning several gazes her way "...What?" She defended anxiously.
"The third rule is that once a champion has been removed from play, the pony serving as their master is exempt from supporting any remaining contenders, and must serve as a spectator until the war is over." Discord said as he made his parchment and glasses disappear before a sack appeared in his lion paw "Now I shall impart to you, the contenders, a catalyst for summoning your champions, the instructions and incantations needed for said summoning, and a small booklet for each of you!" He pulled out a booklet and gave it to Twilight, who took it in her magic and opened it to look inside.
"There's no information here; it's blank." Twilight said, feeling disappointed.
"You'll find that booklet to be very important once you all get to calling your champions. Now..." He dug into the sack with his eagle claw and pulled out a silver device with a long green bulb "Who would like this little number?" Twilight perked up at the device's appearance.
"Is it okay if I have that?" Twilight asked politely "It looks very interesting."
"As you wish." Discord said as he gave the device to Twilight for her and Spike to examine before reaching into his sack and pulling out another item: a katana scabbard "How about this? Any takers?" He asked, waving the card in his hand.
"That looks pretty cool. I'll take it." Rainbow Dash said, taking the card with a hoof. Meanwhile, Discord pulled out yet another item that resembled a tuft of bright red fur "I'd wager Rarity would want this piece..." Suddenly, Pinkie began trembling to the point where she hopped up and shook in midair.
"Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa~! I'm getting a doozy from this one!" Pinkie rushed up to Discord with a wide grin "Can I have it? Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?" Discord chuckled.
"If you insist." He dropped the tuft onto Pinkie's head, who began giggling madly as she trotted in place before going back to her friends. Discord then reached into his sack to pull out a pair of glasses "Well? Anypony interested?"
"I suppose I shall take those glasses for myself." Rarity said as Discord gave them to her "I must admit, they look rather nice."
"That they do." Discord then pulled out what appeared to be a red hat with the letter M on it "Next!"
"Ah got this'un." Applejack said as she took the hat with her mouth after Discord tossed it to her, then pulling out a red sash "Now who wants this neat little sash?"
"Oh...Um...I guess I can take it. If you don't mind, that is..." Fluttershy said feebly, to which Discord smiled at the timid pegasus before placing the sash on her neck before patting her head with a free claw.
"Not at all, my dearest friend." Discord looked upon the element bearers and the items they held before noticing Trixie, who looked impatient "Oh, of course, you're the last one. Give me one moment."
"Normally, Trixie wouldn't be happy with this order, but she supposes one could always save the best for last." Trixie said confidently as she waited for Discord as he sifted through his sack. He finally pulled out what appeared to be a brown gauntlet with five digits.
"Hmmm...I don't know if...Eh, you'll be fine." Discord said as he issued the gauntlet to Trixie before his sack disappeared "Alright, now you shall be sent off with your instructions, incantations and booklets." He snapped his talons to give all of the ponies two rolled up parchment and a booklet each before he grinned vigorously "The winner of this whole thing must report to Canterlot along with the losers for the closing ceremony. Good luck summoning your champions, and may the best pony win!" He snapped his talons one last time before they all disappeared.
_____
Twilight and Spike found themselves back at the crystal castle in Ponyville. She then levitated the items in her possession into her view as she hummed to herself. She began with the first parchment, unraveling it to see that it contained instructions for the summoning "Alright, so in order for the summoning to be successful, we need to first make a summoning circle on any possible surface, with the catalyst in the center. We can use chalk for hard surfaces, so it's no trouble."
"I can take care of it." Spike said with an encouraged smile "Do we have a reference?"
"Yes." She levitated the parchment to Spike as she looked at the incantation parchment "Can you make it in the middle of the basement while I assess our materials?"
"Sure." Spike said as he rushed downstairs while Twilight examined her items silently.
_____
"Alright..." Rarity said as she carefully utilized a stick to draw a meticulous magic circle in the dirt near Ponyville's lake "Finished." She said with a sigh "Normally, this type of thing is beneath me, but it's for the best if it means meeting a new face and possibly winning my own wish." Rarity frowned to herself "This had better be worth it in the end."
She then levitated the pair of glasses given to her by Discord and placed them directly in the center of the circle slowly and carefully. Feeling content with the catalyst's position, the fashionista then pulled out the incantation needed to summon her champion.
"Hmm...This is odd."
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"This seems kinda silly when Ah look at it." Applejack said as she studied the contents of her incantation sheet "Ah never had t' actually use magic before, so this is pretty weird t' me." She looked up at her magic circle in the barren dirt outside of her fields, with the hat sitting in the middle "Well, hopefully it'll work." She cleared her throat before looking back on her sheet "Now let's see here..."
_____
"From the vast oceans, and the islands that inhabit it, I call upon the power of your peerless blade!" Rainbow Dash said as the magical circle began to glow inside her bedroom "I make this pact out of respect of your strength in exchange for your gracious servitude!" She felt excitement welling up in her body as she continued to read and watched the circle at the same time.
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"Lost in the reaches of insanity, I pluck you from your prison and invoke your power for use, so that you may spread your spirit for the world to see!" Pinkie said with encouragement as she watched her circle in her own bedroom glow brighter.
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"I seek the shadows for your elegant form, so that I, too, may embrace the strength you possess with my own eyes." Fluttershy said as she grew increasingly nervous with the circle's brightness outside of her cottage "W-Warrior of the dusk, heed my call."
_____
"Wisdom and Power in tandem is what I desire! From the depths of reality, I summon the being capable of utilizing both upon my command!" Trixie shouted as she stared upon her magic circle on the outskirts of Ponyville "Hither to me, sorceror of the ages!"
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"Legendary hero who goes valiantly int' battle, may our respective spirits work in unison fer the dangerous path ahead of us! Ah summon yer power so that we may see this through to th' end!" Applejack said in determination.
_____
"From the mystic realm, I ask for you, the undisputed warrior, lend me your aid, so that we may combine our efforts thusly in the field of combat! Let your power become my own, so that I, too, shall lend you mine in earnest!" Rarity said, as a gust began to pick up.
_____
"From the pools of endless knowledge, I beseech your presence! With the power of universal understanding and the energy to carry it out, heed my call, paragon of brilliance!" Twilight shouted as she finished her own incantation and awaited the results along with an excited Spike. They both shielded their eyes when the light engulfed the entire basement.
When the light subsided, Twilight and Spike noticed the being that now stood in the circle, and they could only gaze in awe at the new arrival. It appeared to be a bipedal creature wearing clothes, including black shoes, brown trousers with a black belt, a sky blue shirt, and a white lab coat. His hair appeared to be spikey and grey, and he carried a noticeable monobrow. When he rubbed his eyes with an arm, he looked around with squinted eyes, and spoke his first words.
"Hey. Where the-" He burped loudly "Where the hell am I?"
April Fools!
Author's Note
Meanwhile, in another universe...
"...Hmmm...Why do I feel that some mongrel is making a mockery of one of my treasures?"
I'd like for you, as my readers to try and figure out who summoned who, and for extra credit, try to make out their respective classes.
I hope you enjoyed this farce 
