Tears Of The Past

by Harmony Split

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Princess Luna
Length: 3381

Sometimes, even hundreds of years can't change how you feel. Twilight notices this every week. Will she get over the tears of the past?

Sometimes, even hundreds of years can't change how you feel.
Twilight notices this every week.
Will she get over the tears of the past?

***

Thanks to Twidashforever for his help on this
Edited by DonnEStarside
Cover art by Adalbertus

Published 2015-04-01 01:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-01 01:10:03 UTC

Tears Of The Past

Tears Of The Past

Twilight's sleep was disturbed by soft beams of sunlight tickling her muzzle. She stretched all four hooves, letting the warmth of the sun caress her like a long lost lover. It was then that she realized there was something else warm in her bed and she buried her muzzle into it. It had a scent she liked and the soft consistency was appealing. She inhaled as much of it as she could , the scent was a cold breeze after a night’s rain flowing over a wet field of grass. As her mind slowly awoke she looked up to see her wife slumbering sweetly besides her.

Luna's breaths were deep and heavy, a clear indicator that she was still asleep. After the court last night it was no wonder, again the nobles caused nothing but trouble and then expected them both to fix it. She smiled as she saw the cute way Luna’s face would scrunch up in her sleep. The way her eternal mane still blew in her bed. It was all these reasons and a hundred more that she loved her. Even if she sometimes felt it was a betrayal. As much as she wished she could stay just like this all day, her body betrayed her. With a sigh, Twilight got up and made for the bathroom.

As she looked into the mirror, a large purple alicorn met her gaze. While the alicorn seemed young, her eyes were an indicator of several decades of hard life. Another sigh. Twilight knew she would never get used to this look, regardless what Luna told her. Her horn flickered to life and brought a brush to her mane, it slowly crawled through her hair, conquering the beast known as bed head. After all those years, she was still hoping that her mane would become eternal. That was one advantage Luna always had on her, she never had to brush her mane...

After she was satisfied with her look, Twilight made her way down the stairs of her castle, directly to the kitchen. Some breakfast and coffee always got her started. In another life, she would have been up way before this, eager to learn everything she could. However, those times were long gone.

Twilight left the stairs and oddly, turned left into the throne room. She had wanted to go to the kitchen, but her hooves lead her directly into the big empty room. The big map in the middle and the crystal thrones around it told his purpose, but something seemed wrong. The map was pale, barely readable anymore and the crystal thrones were all broken, except one.

The only throne still standing was hers, it was emblazoned with the six stars that made up her cutie mark. She hated the throne, she hated her mark and everything those five stars surrounding the big one stood for… everything they used to stand for. .. With a wince, she sat upon her throne and looked around. Ghosts of times past haunted this room. Every single time she sat upon this throne she would hear the laughter of others, she would see them holding the court of friendship and planning missions with each other, those times were long since gone. Every memory hit her heart and tears started to form in her eyes.

She was the princess of friendship, the element of magic. She was the last living element in the world. It all became so clear to her when she looked upon the destroyed thrones. She was alone, even if it was not in the literal sense.. Twilight tried to defeat the upcoming feelings, but it was useless, it was always useless. She curled herself into a ball on her throne and started crying.

Twilight cried, she cried and cried, letting all her emotions free. She cried about her lost family, her friends, and everypony else she knew. It wasn’t until she felt something soft touching her that she realized she was not alone in the room anymore. Luna was standing next to her, a sad smile on her muzzle as she looked down at her defeated wife.

“After two hundred years, you still crying over them. You come to this room once a week and do this to yourself, you know the pain this room brings, yet you come here anyway. Why? Why do you do this to yourself every week?” Luna blinked a tear away, she just couldn't stand seeing her wife like this.

“I... I can't stop Luna! These Memories are haunting me, they’re tearing me apart. I tried letting go, I have! I… I can’t do it.” Twilight was sobbing freely as she said those words, “Everything, all of Equestria reminds me of them. I...I wish I could be as strong as you or Celestia, or even Cadance. But I just can't forget. I can’t do that to them. I’m sorry. If I forget, then they’re really gone.”

Luna came closer and unfolded her wings, she grabbed her wife and wrapped her in a loving embrace. “Twilight, I never said you should forget. But you are diving head first into a pool of pain, a pool filled with tears of the past. You should remember them and feel joy about all the times’ you shared, not grief about them being gone from this world. It sounds hard, but it is murdering your soul week by week, my love.”

Twilight looked up, all she saw on Luna’s face was love, somehow, that just made things worse... “What am I doing to you? I'm ruining your life with all my problems. I'm not worthy of your love.”

Luna gently raised her muzzle and kissed her. As they broke apart she tried to pour her hope and her soul into her expression. “Twilight, we've been married for over a hundred years. We went through everything together. If somepony isn't worth it's me not worthy to be your wife. I will do everything I can to hold you, to strengthen you through these times. I will always be there for you.”

Twilight's sobbing stopped and she showed the first small smile she had since stepping hoof into this room. While she might never stop crying after the past, she definitely knew that she had something precious in the present. That precious thing was her wife, Luna. She loved her with all her heart, no matter what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. They closed the gap again in another kiss, this time they poured all their hope, passion, and love into it, drawing it out as long as they could. When they had no choice but to break apart for breath, they met each other’s gaze, lovingly.

“I think it is time to visit them again, Twilight. We should refresh the flowers and make sure the statues are still intact,” Luna said, cupping Twilight's cheek with her hoof, softly stroking it.

Twilight nodded. She was afraid of it, she was always afraid of going there, but with Luna by her side she could stand it. They slowly broke the embrace and Luna laid a wing over her, lending Twilight her strength as she led them outside and around the castle. Behind the castle, there was a beautiful garden, a gift from an old friend. It was the home of her old friends, everyone of them save one.

“Do you think Spike is well?” Twilight asked Luna, shifting uneasily while they walked.

“Twilight, he's fine. Spike is a big dragon after all and he doesn't have to write you a letter every week. I know he's the last of your old friends, but you have to look forward. Spike isn't a baby anymore but you should have realized that two hundred years ago.” with a wink Luna squeezed Twilight with her wing.

“I know, I-” Twilight started, but their conversation was interrupted as the statues came into sight.

As soon as they came into view, tears started flowing again from Twilight’s eyes. Luna noticed it immediately and held her wife closer. They approached the statues and sat down in front of them, staying silent. Five big statues were in front of them, gravestones for the ponies they represented. Twilight took them in one at a time. It was far, far too painful to try and do all at once..

The left stone represented Rarity, a pure white marble in the shape of her cutie mark. She was the first one that died nearly two hundred and eleven years ago. It wasn't an easy loss, and Spike took it the worst. After her death he abandoned Equestria and went to live with the Dragons, to this day he had never returned. Twilight took some solace in his letters, even if they had been coming less frequent over the years.

'I wonder how old dragons can really get', Twilight thought.

The second stone from the left represented Fluttershy. It was a natural stone, unshaped with only her cutie mark chiseled on it. She died only one year after Rarity. Fluttershy was sick and nopony in Equestria was able to help her, not even Twilight. It still broke her heart, but the pain of her loss was tempered by the will she had left. The poor pegasus knew she was not long for the world and her last wish was that everypony would simply be kind to each other when she was gone.

“It is the way of nature, things are born and they die. Fluttershy knew this better than most.” Luna’s wise words still stuck with her after all this time.

That might be true but it still hurt to look at the third stone. While being... unique, Pinkie Pie was the only pony that always seemed capable of cheering everypony up. Since the pink tornado died shortly after Fluttershy, life in Ponyville never was the same. Others tried to take her place, but they all failed. Her statue was formed after balloons, every one of them with her cutie mark on it.

The fourth stone showed a pony under a apple tree. Applejack had been the most honest pony Twilight knew in all of the world. With her strength she lasted longer than the former of her friends, dying three years after Pinkie Pie. Without Applejack life on Sweet Apple Acres seemly slowed down, no matter how hard the following generations tried to keep it up.

Everything changed since her friends were gone, Twilight knew it. Sobbing, she couldn't even look at the last stone. It was by far the biggest of all, worthy of a princess. After all, she was one. The statue itself was covered in gold and silver, showing the proud pegasus in flight. The text on the stone always broke Twilight’s heart, a sure indicator that the past was gone.

'Here lies Princess Rainbow Dash, beloved wife of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Element of Loyalty and best friend anypony could ever wish for. May you rest in peace, fastest flier in the world.'

Twilight completely fell down, crying . Rainbow died exactly two hundred years ago. She lasted longer than any of the others, after all, she had the most reason for holding on. The pegasus wanted every second she could get at Twilight's side. Twilight suspected… no, she knew that Rainbow just didn’t want her to be alone. It was one race she would lose, although nopony could fault her for trying. The memory of that time would still send her into a day-long crying fit. One nothing could snap her out of.

Luna crawled closer, embracing her wife. It had taken Twilight nearly one hundred years to open up again. A task that seemed senseless at times, but if Luna was anything it was persistent, she knew how to wait and was rewarded for her patience. She was married to the most beautiful and amazing pony in the world. Yet, she knew that no matter how much Twilight loved her, her heart would always belong to her first wife, Rainbow Dash..

Suddenly, Twilight spoke up. “I'm sorry Luna. I'm happy with you, more than anypony could imagine, but I still miss her. She was my best friend and the first love of my life, it just feels wrong that she isn't here anymore.”

“We can't change the past, but I'm proud of you Twilight. That remember and honor your friends so speaks highly of who you are.. It shows how much you still love her and I'm sure she would be also proud of you, Twilight.”

“Do you think that she waits for me, up there?” Twilight asked, surprising Luna.

The moon princess took a deep breath before answering. “While I don't know if there is a real afterlife, I'm sure that if there is, she waits for you.”

“She always hated waiting,” Twilight mumbled, “Can I trust you with something? Can I tell you something without hurting you or being judged?”

“Of course you can, my love.” Luna showed her a warm smile.

“Does it makes me a bad pony if I think about dying sometimes, just to join my friends... and Rainbow?” Twilight began crying again.

Luna wrapped her even closer in her embrace, trying to pour all her love into it. “No Twilight. I think it makes you a strong pony to admit something like that. I never told you, but sometimes I too wish to join my friends of old.”

Twilight glanced up, “Really?”

Luna sighed, the memories still hurt. “As I lost control all those years ago and Tia had no choice but to banish me to the moon, I left many friends behind me. Some of my night guard, whom I called friends, among with some others. Once you freed me, I was broken over their loss. They were all gone, every single one died in the time I was on the moon.”

Twilight noticed a single tear on Luna's muzzle and raised a wing, wiping it away. She was met with a loving gaze and returned it with all the feeling she could muster.

“I love you, Luna.”

“I love you too, Twilight.”

Together they laid close to each other in front of the statutes, giving their friends the honour they deserved.

***

Two hundred years ago...

Twilight was sitting in a waiting room of the hospital, her hooves shaking and her muzzle coated in tears. She waited for a message from the doctor about her wife, the thought of what might be said made her heart clench in fear.

It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, or even days, but a hoof on her shoulder made her look up.

“Princess Sparkle?” a brown stallion in white clothes asked her.

“Y-Y...yes?” her voice was barely a whimper.

“I'm sorry to say this but her age has finally caught up to her. If you want to say your goodbyes, you should do it now. I'm really, really sorry. There isn't anything more we can do,” he said and walked away, a tear in his eyes.

Twilight was shocked. She couldn't believe it. Rainbow had fought against death for years now, she was easily the oldest pony in Equestria save for the alicorns, and after all this time she gave up, she was leaving her.The element of loyalty would no longer be by her side, she couldn’t stay loyal to her for just one more day? Twilight would give her left hoof for that, for just one more day. A new strain of tears made their way down her muzzle, Twilight stood up on shaking hooves and slowly went into Rainbow's room.

There she laid, the prismatic mare, weakened by age and barely breathing anymore. She was wired up to various machines, all of which broke Twilight's heart. She rushed at her side and cried, cried out every pain she had. It wasn’t until she felt something on her mane and looked up.

“None of that now, where’s the strong egghead I married?” Rainbow spoke, her voice weak and silent.

“You can't go! You simply can't!” Twilight cried out, burying her muzzle in her wife's coat.

“Twi, I'm not smart and you know that, but even I know that my time has come. These years with you were the best in my whole life, Twi. I married the most awesome pony in the world and lived a happy life with her. What could I ask more?” her voice died down and she shook in dry coughing.

“How am I supposed to live life without you?” Twilight asked, tears still running down her muzzle.

“You won’t, you’ll live it for me, for both of us. In time you’ll find somepony else who loves you at least half as much as I do, I'm sure of that.” she smirked and coughed again. “After all we've been through together, you can't give up on me now Twi. You’re a princess… you’re my princess, you have to be strong!” Rainbow smiled at her.

“You were my foundation all the time, I don't know if I can be strong without you.”

“You can Twi, I'm sure about that.” Rainbow replied and gently stroked Twilight's mane. “Please promise me something.”

“Everything you want, my love.” Twilight leaned against the weak hoof, enjoying the touch.

“Please promise me to try and be strong. To be happy sometime again. I might leave you soon, but I will always be there to help, guide, and protect you.” Rainbow said, pointing at Twilight's heart. “I will be always in there. Please promise it to me, Twi.”

“I...I...” Twilight stocked.

“Please promise it to me...” Rainbow's voice was getting weaker and Twilight suddenly felt a spark, the truth. She would survive all of this. It might take some time, but she knew that she could always count on her wife, even if she wasn't there anymore. She laid her head against Rainbow's chest and snuggled in.

“I promise it, Rainbow.” she said softly, enjoying the warmth.

“Thank you Twi. Know that my love for you was always absolute, just like the sun’s warmth. As long as you can feel that, you will feel my love for you.”

Twilight closed her eyes, enjoying the final moments she got to spend near her wife.. Whatever the future may bring, she would face it for Rainbow Yes, she knew it would be hard, but she owned Rainbow something for all the great times. Slowly, she drifted off into slumber by her wife’s side, a sweet smile on her lips at the memories of the past.

“I love you, Rainbow. Forever and ever.” she whispered before her dreams took her away.

“I love you too, Twi.” Rainbow whispered back and closed her eyes.

It was the last words she ever said, and she did not waste them, they implanted themselves directly into Twilight's heart.

***

Present

Twilight smiled. She knew, she should cry at those memories, but she couldn't, she promised Rainbow she’d be strong, it was a promise she intended to keep. Rainbow had been right, Twilight found another special somepony and was happy again, after a fashion. But at the same time she would always honor the past and the place that the prismatic mare would forever have in her heart. With Luna at her side, she could fight everything until death finally came for her. Then, she would be with Rainbow again, with her head held high that she kept her promise. That she kept the last promise Rainbow had asked of her.

“Hey Luna…” Twilight began.

“Yes, my love?” Luna raised her head and looked at her.

“What are we going to do at my three hundred and twenty-fifth birthday?” she asked with a giggle.

“Anything you want dear, anything you want.” Luna chimed and draped her head over Twilight’s neck.

They both bathed in the sun, enjoying their time together. Twilight knew deep in her heart, she would be forever loved. Now by Luna, and in eternity by Rainbow. The sunlight told her as much...

Author's Note

I dreamed of this... it seemed all so real.
After some talking with Tavi I decided to write it down.
Please forgive me but also...
Hope you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile: