Dinky and Ditzy Go Grocery Shopping

by Neko

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1791

What happens when a mature filly and her childish mother go grocery shopping?

One day, Dinky Doo realizes they're all out of stuff. So it's time to go grocery shopping at the Wal-Mart of Equestria, Hoof-Mart! But when Ditzy Doo starts acting like a child, chaos breaks loose! Contains Muffins, Viking Helmets, nd Flashy Toys in Boxes! With Guest Star Mister Doctor Whooves!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-10 03:30:34 UTC

Chapter 1

Dinky and Ditzy Go Grocery Shopping

Written By Neko

“Let’s see...Milk, Eggs, Cheese, Muffins, Muffin Mix, Extra Muffin Mix, Stamps, Quills, Ink, Notebooks, Fruit Juice, More Muffins Just In Case We Lose The First Batch of Muffins, and Cupcakes.” Dinky read aloud, scribbling words on a piece of paper, quill in mouth. “Hmmm...” Dinky thought, before scribbling down some new words. “Chips and One Copy of Muffin-Baking for Dummies.” The violet-gray unicorn placed down the quill, and picked up the shopping list, her hoof-made saddlebags, and a wallet, all of which she put away and was ready to go.

“MOM! Let’s Go!” She called up the stairs. “We have to get to the store before three-o’-clock!”

“Coming, Muffin!” Came the familiar voice of a ditzy, blonde-maned Pegasus. And soon enough, said pegasus came tumbling down the stairs, hit the floor, slid along the carpet, and into the door. “Oops...I guess I forgot to turn my wings off!” Ditzy Doo laughed, shaking off her recent collision. Dinky stared at her mother, eyebrows lowered in an unimpressed fashion.

“You’re not wearing that.” Dinky said flatly, referring to her mother’s Viking hat. The Pegasus took a step back in pure shock.

“But Viking ponies were awesome! They sailed oceans, conquered villages, all in the name of the great MUFFIN!” The air-headed Pegasus was just about to begin her tirade of  how Vikings worshipped the great Muffin and fought for it, when she was stopped by her daughter.

“Mom. Please. Let’s just go.” Dinky had much more to say, but didn’t want to hurt her mom’s feelings. The two simply stepped outside the door. The wall-eyed Pegasus shuddered.

“Coooooold!” She shrieked, flying towards the garage. The gold-headed unicorn bit down on the retreating blonde tail, and brought her back down to earth.

“We’re not taking the car. The super market is close enough to walk.”

“But Diiiiiiiinkyyyyyyyy~!” Ditzy Doo whined, but the filly ignored her and began walking. She stopped, turned around, and returned to the Pegasus’ side. She jumped, and knocked the Viking Helmet into the snow with a bonk from her horn. The bronze hit the ground with a clang. “Awwww...” Dinky returned to walking, snow crunching under her hooves, and her mother shortly followed.

Dinky shortly arrived at Hoof-Mart, her stiff mother following shortly afterwards. “We’re here.” Dinky said, as if it weren’t obvious. Ditzy’s eyes returned to a semi-normal state.

“M-M-M-Muffin...M-Mommy is c-c-c-c-cold...” The Pegasus shivered, shaking off snow from flying through a tree. It was already snowing, despite the fact that Christmas wasn’t coming for another three weeks. Dinky shook off a few stray snowflakes and went inside.

“Hello and Welcome to Hoof-Mart!” said a greeter pony in a blue vest.

“Yes, Yes, Hello, Goodbye.” Dinky said, a cheery smile on her face. She pulled a shopping cart from a row and walked along the aisles littered with colorful food upon the shelves. The derpy Pegasus followed behind with a grin and bouncing with excitement.

“Oooh! Ooh! Muffin! Look! Let’s get Super Sugar Flakes! There’s a prize inside!”  Ditzy Doo said, holding the box in front of her daughter’s face.

“No mother.” Dinky sighed, pointing back to the shelf. “We are adhering to this strict list.” Dinky pulled the list from her bag with one hoof, and held the cart with the other. “First, we need Milk, Eggs, and Cheese.” Ditzy Doo frowned at her mature child. She really WANTED that cereal. The Pegasus hovered back to the shelf, and reluctantly placed the box back on the shelf.

“Let’s see...Milk, check. Eggs, check. Cheese, check.” Dinky said aloud, pulling the food items out of the freezer and into the shopping cart. “Mom, do you want to get the muffins and muffin mix?”

“YES! YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!” Ditzy said, eyes full of glee as she shot off towards where the muffins were, when she stopped and stared down a singe aisle, lined with toys. Toys, toys with brushable hair, toy trucks, toy dolls, toy everything. The wall-eyed Pegasus managed to focus both her eyes on one, singular product. One that would change her life. One that everyone wanted. One that would make her dreams come true. One that was for Ages 3-5.

“....Want.” Ditzy stared at the package for a minute, before smashing into the shelf, knocking several boxes off the shelf. She stared at the box, reading it’s bright colorful text.

“NEW! MAIL EQUIPMENT PACKAGE! PRETEND TO DELIVER MAIL ALL OVER EQUESTRIA!” Ditzy couldn’t help but giggle as she read the words. She looked through the clear plastic and watched. She pushed a little button labeled ‘Try Me!’ through a hoof-sized hole in the package. Instantly, the products inside lit up, flashing bright colors and happy smiley music! The gray Pegasus couldn’t take it anymore. She began laughing and rolling all over the floor. “DINKYCOMELOOKATTHIS!!!!!!” She screamed, getting odd looks from other ponies.

“What is it? I thought you were getting the muffins. I already got everything else so-” Dinky stopped dead in her tracks as she observed her very own mother freaking out over some light up toy for fillies. “Moooooom!” Dinky groaned.

“Can we get it? Can we get it? Huh-huh-huh?!” Ditzy squealed excitedly, holding the box in her hooves, her wings flapping so rapidly they could cut through trees.

“No, Mom. We can only get the stuff on the list!”

“Then put it on the list!”

“No, Mom! Now put it back.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeease?

“No! You’re not getting it. Maybe some time later.”

“Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!”

“NO! Maybe some other time but not right now.”

“But I waaaaaaaaaant iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!” Ditzy whined, getting a little upset.

“No, and that’s final.” Dinky firmly said, trying to remain as calm as possible.

“.......” Ditzy said nothing for a long time, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. “BUTIWANTIT!!!!!!!” Ditzy screamed out loud, bursting into sobs and cries and screams and whimpers. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTIT!!!!!!!” Ditzy screamed, rolling on the floor kicking at the air as hard as she could. “GIVE IT TO ME DINKY I NEEEEED IT!”

“NO! NO AND THAT IS FINAL. NOW PUT IT BACK OR YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE!” Dinky yelled at her mother. Ditzy’s shrieks grew quieter and quieter until there was just an angry, teary look on her face, golden eyes puffy and bright red. She unhappily shoved the toy back on the shelf, and stormed off. “Now we have one last thing to pick up.” Dinky said, calming down. “Chips, and One Copy of Muffin-Baking for Dummies.” Dinky walked off, Ditzy following, flapping her wings angrily.

“Stupid Dinky, with her stupid rules and her stupid list and her stupid money.” Ditzy Doo grumbled, fluttering behind her little mother.

“Mom, can you fly up there and grab the chips for me?” Dinky said, and with a bit of grumbling her mother rose up to the top shelf, picked up the potato chips, and flung them into the cart with all her strength, crushing...nothing. “Thank you.”

“You’re not welcome.”

That was it. Dinky jumped up, grabbed her mother by the tail, and slowly dragged the fleeting pegasus outside.

“Just who do you think you are, missy?” Dinky said sternly once they were outside Hoof-Mart. “How long do you think I’m going to put up with you? Not very long if you keep up this behavior! Stand up straight! I raised you better than that! You do not take that tone with me, mother! You can’t always get your way, and you know that! Now stop this bad behavior immediately! I expect you to go inside that store with me, and help me finish shopping! And you have to go to time-out when we get home! Is that clear?”

Ditzy muttered something incoherent.

“I said, ‘IS THAT CLEAR?!’”

“Yes, muffin!” Ditzy said, obviously upset.

“Now apologize!”

“I’msorry.”

“What was that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Good.” Dinky began walking back inside, and her derpy mother followed. Silently, the blonde Pegasus grinned, because inside her mind, she just called Dinky a big meanie face. And she didn’t even hear, because no one can hear thoughts. Not even if they look in your ears. Now, Dinky put in the book very nice and neatly. “Thank you.”

Dinky smiled.

“You’re welcome” NOT. Derpy smiled innocently. If she looked any sweeter she’d have a halo over her head. Soon, the duo reached the cash register, where they found a certain chestnut earth pony. But still no ginger.

“Doctor Whooves!” Derpy shrieked and shot forward, before being stopped. By the magazine rack.

“Are you okay, Ditzy?” The Doctor asked, as Dinky pulled her daughter back down to the aisle. While Derpy started chattering so fast, neither the miniature unicorn or the time-traveling earth pony could understand her. “So Dinky, what brings you to Hoof-Mart?”

“Mom and I just needed some stuff. What are you doing working as a cashier?” Dinky asked as the good doctor scanned her items along the fancy-shmancy new-fangled unicorn-magic powered shiny-whiny red light. Also known as a scanner.

“I’m working undercover.”

“I see.” Dinky said. “What are you looking for?”

“I have no idea yet, but I will soon. That’ll be 50 Bits.”

“Interesting. Interesting.” Dinky pushed the golden currency towards him, as a plain gray unicorn with a plastic bag for her cutie mark appeared, and began pushing groceries into bags. Meanwhile, a certain bubble-brained Pegasus was FREAKING OUT with so many words she may as well have been a typewriter. “Pipe down, Mom. You’re still on time out.” That shut Ditzy up. She crossed her hooves, and plopped down on her haunches.

“Here’s your receipt. Thank you for shopping at Hoof-Mart and have a nice day.” Doctor Whoof said, hoofing over the piece of paper, and the unicorn happily gave the bags to Ditzy, who fit them neatly into her saddlebags, before the two walked out, Ditzy Doo with a discontent frown on her face. The two got home, Ditzy immediately flew upstairs, but was stopped by her daughter.

“Time-out. Now.” She said, forcing her mother into her corner on a hard wooden stool. For five minutes. Five minutes. Ditzy Doo could hear the clock ticking as time passed into eternity. 58. 57. 56. 55. 54. 53. 52. The seconds kept passing slower and slower. The gray pegasus leaned against the wall, feeling guilty for her actions, tears welling up in her eyes. Just before she began to cry, she fell asleep.

She woke up to find herself on the floor face down, with a blanket on her and a cup of hot chocolate by her side. Dinky Doo bent down, and tenderly kissed her mother on the nose. “I love you, Mommy.” She said, a smile on her face. And the Pegasus innocently smiled back, before falling back to sleep.