You ever seen any of those Human in Equestria fanfics? You know, the ones where some washed up loser goes to Equestria, gets involved in a romance with one of the ponies, be it main cast or background character, and ultimately "changes Equestria forever" or some crap like that. Well, for a brief time, I was that washed up loser who went to Equestria, but those days are long behind me now. I tell my story sometimes, and it seems as though today you're on the recieving end of my ramblings. So, without further ado, here we go.
It all started one rainy day back in april. I'd just got home from another day at school and decided to vlog about how shit it was and how I was so much smarter than all of my peers. God I was a tosser back then.
"Good evening youtube, this is MegabronyX here with another Vlog." I said into the camera as I began my prattle. That day I was preaching to the youtube masses about how I accidentally let slip to the local dickcheese that I was a brony, or a gay paedophile fucktard if you're of the Fox News persuasion. Anyway, I kept going on and on about how shit my life was until I was startled by the appearance of a great orb of light in the corner of my room. After convincing myself that I wasn't tripping out on some expired milk, I stood up and began to inspect the light, albiet from a distance. Eventually, I decided to go for the classic trigger in these sorts of situations, physical contact. I grabbed a nearby tennis ball and threw it at the orb, causing it to do absolutely bugger all. In a moment of blithering idiocy, I took this to mean that the massive glowing orb that appeared out of nowhere was safe went to get my ball back. This is what made it actually do something. It began to pulsate and throb and overwhelm my senses. I don't remember exactly how long it took me to pass out, but I do remember waking up and being greeted by a hard wooden floor which I proceeded to faceplant. I lay there for a moment, grumbling about my injured face, When I hear an unmistakable clopping noise(no, not the sort some of you are thinking of). However, my dazed mind refused to register it's true significance and I instead begin spouting off random questions."What's going on? Where am I?" and all the other stuff you'd expect me to ask in that sort of situation. I would have continued like this, had I not received another blow to the face. By this point, I was simply angry. I got up and went to voice my anger, before realizing that I was stood in front of the Great and Powerful Trixie herself.
being the raving mad brony I was, I flung myself on my knees and began to kiss her hooves. That too ended in a yet another swift blow to the face. I snapped back at her in anger before gaining control of myself and again began asking questions. She explained to me that, I shit you not, she had decided to bring a human into Equestria and make him(or her) a pony just for the hell of it. I was understandably struck with disbelief, but I decided to go along with it anyway. I mean, what was the worst that could happen? Oh, if only I knew...
Anyway, back to the story. As I said before, I had decided to go along with Trixie's insane plan. I was acting fairly laid back at this point, not thinking her to be serious. A thought I found out was wrong with the aid of a massive bolt of magic to the back. I keeled over in shock and pain, feeling my bones and skin contort in a way that I didn't realise was possible in humans. I would tell you mroe abuot this transformation, but I was overcome by the same sensation as when I touched the light earlier. When I awoke, all was exactly as it was beforehand, with the minor change being that I had become the pony equivalent of a god. That's right, I was an alicorn.
My body was jet black, which only caused my white mane and tail to stand out even more. A long black horn jutted out from my forehead and my back had sprouted two strong wings. Now, I know that this sounds awfully cliche, but just hear me out. Anyway, while I was busy strutting around the place, trying out my new body, when Trixie began saying something. I honestly can't remember exactly what she said, but it had something to do with safety and being careful around other ponies for a while. But, obviously, I wasn't listening. She continued to try and warn me about.....Whatever it was she was trying to warn me about. As you can probably tell, my memory isn't as good as it used to be. Anyway, I didn't listen to her some more before cantering over to a window, spreading my wings and taking off. From now on, I was free. Free from the pressures of everyday life, free from the threat of bullies, and free from mucking up my flight and crashing into a field. Oh, I'm sorry, did I say that I was free from that last part? I couldn't have been further from the truth. I hadn't realised it, but I was still crap at flying. I came crashing down almost instantly, causing me to injure my, you guessed it, face. By this point, it was clear that this was going to be a long day. I sat there dazed for a while before remembering that I also now posessed the gift of magic and decided to try my hand at a quick teleportation spell to get me to civilization. I was feeling confident until it dawned on me that I had just as much practice in magic as i did flying, none at all. This thought caused me to lose concentration on the spell, which in turn made the spell go wrong(how bloody original). Now I was really screwed...
