That's The Night The Lights Went Out In Canterlot

Wearing the towel about his waist that he used to dry off from his shower, Reggie searched his room as he looked for a replacement bed sheet to make into another toga. But after going through all the drawers in the cabinets he could locate and a couple of closets, he still couldn’t find anything. What he did find, he had a hard time trying to identify just what they were—but whatever those items were, they weren’t bed linen.

“So where the hell did she find that?” he wondered aloud, thinking of Rarity.

There came a knock at the door to his suite and he heard a familiar unicorn’s voice call out to him.

“Yoo-hoo, darling!”

“Hi Rarity,” he replied. “Just one question: where did you find that spare bed sheet yesterday?”

“Oh, I waylaid one of the maids making their rounds in the corridor while you were taking your shower,” she replied. “I brought it in and waited for you to finish.”

“Huh! Okay, that makes sense,” he muttered.

“Well, as fashionable as I can make them for you to wear, wouldn’t you prefer to try out some of your own clothes?” she inquired.

“What? You’ve made a set already?”

“Indeed! So far, I’ve made six sets of everything you requested!” she cheerfully replied. “Now that I know how to make them, I’ll have the rest by this afternoon!”

“Wow! That’s fast!” Reggie was astonished.

“Oh, not at all,” she demurred. “Normally, I could have had anything like that whipped up for anypony by yesterday afternoon. But your body design is so much different from ours. At least I had your originals to use as a template, but I also had to wait for them to come back from the cleaners.”

“It just so hard to imagine how you can do all that with just hooves to manipulate things,” he explained. “Or would that be called ‘ponypulating things’?” he asked, grinning.

“Are you making fun of our language?” she challenged him.

“Oh, I would never do such a thing,” he instantly shot back. Then added, “Darling.”

“Hnf!” Rarity grunted. “You’re such a goader!”

“Ha! You guys should talk!” he responded with a laugh. “I mentioned that to Luna and Twilight last night. And that Twilight then proceeded to lecture me about how you guys are able to manipulate things with your hooves just as well as I can with my fingers. She just about talked my ears off.”

“She did, huh?” Rarity asked, a knowing tone creeping into her voice.

“Yep,” Reggie chuckled. “I dare say she had Luna asleep in fifteen minutes. Two hours later, she suddenly woke up, screaming about being late taking down the moon, or something.” And Rarity suddenly burst out laughing.

“Anyhow, you should try on your outfits,” she chided him.

“Although, I do have to tell you, I’m having difficulty in deciding what patterns to apply to the rest of your outfits,” she added. That gave him pause.

“Uh, I hope you used the same colors as the originals,” he said with a grimace while frozen in the middle of the act of putting on his briefs.

“Well, I couldn’t very well do that!” she protested. “I just had to try out different colors and patterns.”

“I see,” he said, nervously gulping. “So—uh—what am I looking at here?” he asked, looking down at what he was about to put on, dreading the answer.

“Oh, that one’s a solid dark green!” she happily told him. “All of the ones I delivered should go well with each other in any combination. There’s red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet, in addition to your original set of black and white.”

“Oh,” Reggie muttered, finishing putting on the brief, which actually fit very comfortably. “Each a solid color, I assume?” he ventured.

“For now,” she cheerfully replied.

Thank God for that, he thought. Although, how am I going to avoid the violet and orange? he wondered.

“This undershirt?” he asked with his hand on the top of the pile.

“Green,” she absently replied, so he quickly slipped it on.

“The next set, I’m thinking of a flower print pattern, but I haven’t decided upon the background colors yet,” she continued.

“I—ah—uh—think perhaps it’s best to stick with the solid colors, if you don’t mind,” he quickly cut in, thinking fast. “And I could certainly use a few more in the original black and white. Even though I might not be able to see them, I know what matches best with my skin tones and all,” he said, grinning to her. “And the nice thing about black is it goes perfectly with just about any other color, including itself, so that would save me having to worry about mixing up something that shouldn’t go together, like an orange undershirt, purple jacket and green trousers. Know what I mean?”

“Well, that’s true…” Rarity said, uncertainly.

“Oh, but there’s this little problem with my blindness, I can’t tell what’s what,” he jumped in once more. “Maybe—uh—maybe some embroidery on all the pieces that I can read using my fingers, someplace that wouldn’t need to be visible, but that I can find through feel. If you noticed, there are labels on the originals, perhaps you could put the embroidery in similar locations on a convenient inside band for the ones you make.”

“Oh, I guess I can accommodate that,” she responded. “What sort of embroidery?”

“Well, there’s an easy enough code that can be put on the areas where there are tabs or labels,” he explained. “I should be able to show you with a pencil and some paper.”

“That sounds delightful! I happen to have some right here,” she told him.

“Okay,” he said, sitting at the dining table. “I hope I don’t fuck these letters up too much.”

He proceeded to write out the standard three-letter abbreviations for the eight colors: BLK, RED, ORN, YEL, GRN, BLU, VIO, and WHT.

“Why, yes, that seems perfectly doable!” Rarity cheerfully exclaimed. “How clever!”

“But before you sew those letters into them, we should probably double check how good I wrote them with Luna tonight so we can make any needed corrections,” he said. “You know, it’s actually getting pretty damned convenient to have her as a backup for my sight. I think I’m finally getting over her being able to peek into my head,” he said, laughing. Then he sobered.

“It’s wonderful that you’re learning to cope, darling,” she kindly said, touching his arm with her hoof.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “It’s certainly been a big help. But I’m only just beginning to learn how to deal with it.”

He finished getting dressed, asking her to confirm the outer garments were also the green set so they would match his underwear. After that, she led him to breakfast with Celestia and Luna. There, he faced a bit of an unpleasant surprise.

“Good morning, Reggie,” Celestia and Luna both greeted him, and he responded in kind. But then he heard another voice speak up.

“Good morning! I hope you’re feeling better!” she yelled, making him both cringe and instantly cover his eyes from any unexpected blasts. He would recognize Pinkie Pie’s voice anywhere.

“Shit!” he hissed. “I really don’t need this…” he started, but the menace interrupted.

“Please!” she pleaded with him. “I’m really, really, really sorry you got hurt. And I’d like to make it up to you. I made you these!”

That made him pause.

“She made you a pair of protective goggles, darling,” Rarity softly told him. “Personally, I wouldn’t have made them look like that, but you might like to consider them. I think you might find them useful.”

Still extremely wary, the unicorn’s statement made him a little relaxed. He knew that her friends were just trying to get him to make up with and forgive this crazy monster. It was annoying, but to be expected. He just really wasn’t ready to give in just yet.

“Here,” she said, and Reggie felt an object touch his palm. Cautiously, he took it and used both hands to examine it. It did feel like a set of goggles, pretty little heavy and a bit thick, and the general shape felt almost like a set of Ray-bans.

Shrugging in defeat, he put them on, and found them to be surprisingly a perfect fit. He felt about the edges and confirmed they completely contacted his face all around his eyebrows, along the sides of his temples, followed the contour of his cheeks and bridge of his nose, all the while they gently yet snuggly gripped his ears.

“Not—not bad,” he had to admit. “Not too bad at all. But they are a little heavy.”

“That’s because they’re bullet proof!” Pinkie happily exclaimed. Reggie had to blink at that.

“Wh-what?” he asked startled.

“Well, they’re at least bullet proof up to a .357 Magnum,” she admitted. “They failed at anything more powerful. Sorry.” He had to laugh with a snort. No, he wasn’t ready to give in and forgive her, but he had to admire her persistence. And perhaps even her insanity, too.

“So how do they protect against your bloody cannon?” he shot back. “That thing’s got to be at least eight inches across according to what Luna showed me!”

“Twelve, actually! Sorry! Nope! Won’t hold up to that, either,” she instantly exclaimed. Then a pause. “Just kidding!” she quickly added.

“Well, just to let you know, I’m still mad at you,” he growled. “My eyes still feel like they’re on fire every time I blink or move them! I still think someone like you going about shoot shit into people’s faces is dangerously irresponsible. But—thanks,” he finally admitted. “I—I—appreciate it.”

“YIPPEE!” she suddenly screamed, making him instinctively duck.

“You’re kidding about testing them with bullets, right?” he ventured.

“Nope!” she excitedly yelled. “I also tried a Baretta Nano 9mm, a Glock 22, a Ruger P90 and a Smith & Wesson 500 on them, in addition to the Dessert Eagle 357!”

“Wait! How do you guys even have those? Or know what they are?” he dared to ask.

“Oh…I just found some lying around,” she answered evasively.

“What?”

“Pinkie does have a knack for coming up with the right stuff at the right time, darling,” Rarity told him.

“We’ve—found it—best not to ask about such things, Reggie,” Celestia finally spoke up. And Luna cleared her throat, but didn’t add anything.

As they finished breakfast, it was Rarity that suddenly came up with an idea.

“Princess Luna? Since we’re all here, would it trouble you too much if we could do a quick dreamwalk?” she asked. “Reggie devised an ingenious way for me to let him know what colors his outfits were, but when he designed the pattern, he wanted to confirm that his blindness didn’t distort his writing. It would only take a moment.”

“How difficult will it be for thee to sleep?” she asked Reggie.

“With a full stomach?” Reggie countered, almost laughing as he patted his belly. “In next to no time.”

In about fifteen minutes, it was over. Corrections were easily made to the shapes and placements of a few letters on the list, and Rarity was soon happily departing with it. And Reggie learned that Pinkie Pie had actually somehow electroplated a layer of iridium on the outside surface of his goggles, giving them a bit of a natural rainbow shimmer.

“How the hell did you do that, anyhow?” he had to ask as he remained inclined on Luna’s side.

“Oh, I just had Twilight melt some down and apply it to the goggles,” Pinkie Pie happily responded.

“I seriously hope you used a stable isotope of the stuff!” he growled.

“Oh, perfectly stable!” she cheerfully replied. “Best of all, it glows in the dark, without the need for magic!”

Reggie instantly ripped the goggles from his face.

“Just kidding!” the menace instantly piped up in singsong, giggling.

“Be thou not worried, Reggie,” Luna gently told him, putting an end to the menace’s antics.

He growled at Pinkie as he slowly put them back on.

“See? I knew you’d like them!” Pinkie cheerfully exclaimed. “Be seeing you, Reggie!” she called as she departed.

“But I won’t,” he shot back.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she sadly said.

“Well, it’s not like you’re the one responsible for that,” he emphasized. “Just the cuts on my corneas.”

“Reggie,” Celestia spoke up after the others left. “Please believe I do understand your irritation with Pinkie Pie. I was there and pulled the chaff from your eyes. But you simply must let go of your animosity toward her. You did for Ralph and Sam.”

“Look, Celestia,” Reggie said, trying to explain the difference. “Ralph is a guard. I showed up out of someplace I wasn’t supposed to pop up from. And because I had no way of knowing the statues I thought I saw were really your Green Berets and Navy SEALS, I made a stupid move. Ralph saw me as the alien bug his mother always warned him about, so when he thought I was about to suck the brains out of his partner, he whacked me. I’m blind as a result.

“Yeah, it sucks to be me, but I get it!” he continued. “He was just doing his job.”

“Of course, when I woke up in the hospital, I thought I was still on Earth. There was no reason for me to believe otherwise, so I naturally assumed you, Luna, and the doctor were all human. So, naturally, I got pissed at you. Trust me, if the exact same thing I just described had happened to you, you’d make the same assumptions, and you’d take the same actions,” Reggie finished.

“Hardly!” Celestia protested.

“You would, and you’d damned well know it!” Reggie instantly countered. “If you were struck blind and had reason to believe you were being held by a foreign power on this world, you’d be seriously pissed that you were attacked, especially since you’re are the ruler of one of the nations here! But if you later learned the reality was that you were on my planet when you were blinded? I do believe you’d have the wisdom to realize that scenario was much more forgivable than what Pinkie had done. And what she did shouldn’t be forgiven. It would be totally unforgivable for one of my people to do that to a blind person just for fun, much less to a blind guest from another world.”

Of course, you’d be lucky to live long enough for a human Pinkie to ever do that, he thought to himself, cringing. If you did end up on my world, you’d certainly be dissected long before our Pinkie could even say “shit!”

“You obviously don’t know me very well, Reggie,” Celestia testily responded. “I would forgive your human Pinkie for trying to throw me a party.”

“Well, then I don’t see any other option than that we’ll just have to agree to disagree,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “I’m sorry, but I’m not you, and I can’t easily forgive her for being so irresponsible.” And I can guarantee you wouldn’t forgive our lab boys for dissecting you because you wouldn’t be alive to do so, he sadly thought.